A Lesson in Fate
by Lillie Cullen
Summary: The much anticipated sequel to A Lesson in Release. Jasper has won the girl of his dreams and they are beginning a new life together at college. But what happens when fate intercedes? Will he be able to hold onto her or will she return to Edward?
1. Prologue

**Dislcaimer: I don't own Twilight. You knew that.**

**A Lesson in Fate: The much anticipated sequel to A Lesson in Release. Jasper has finally won the girl of his dreams and they are beginning a new life together at college. But what happens when Fate intercedes? Will he be able to hold on to her or will fate return her to Edward? This story is most definitely rated M -- there will be lemons of many different varieties.**

**_PLEASE -- Don't go into this story expecting it to be firmly J/B or firmly E/B. Go into it without picking teams and enjoy the ride._**

If you, get out in the driving rain, stand in the eye of a hurricane, and never think twice  
If you, turn your back on selfishness, and your thoughts are for someone else, cause they've changed your life

When your heart, insists that you give it all, when you no longer feel the fall, and you just let go  
When the past, is finally dead and gone, Fate leads you somewhere to the one, that has your soul

No part of you questions, no part of you doubts, you're sure that this is what love's all about  
Nothing and no one can stand in your way, or keep you from saying what your heart is dying to say

That's how you know its love, that's how you know it's meant to be  
When the span of forever just never seems long enough  
That's how you know it's love  
_~Deana Carter, "That's How You Know It's Love"_

**Jasper's POV**

Adrian wanted to go to the University of Alabama. Bella wanted to go to The Ohio State University. In the end, it came down to the weather. As it turned out, Columbus has five more days of clouds a year than Tuscaloosa, so the decision was made to attend OSU. Thanks to a most generous donation to University Hospital, Carlisle was able to get the school to overlook the rule requiring students to live in the dorms freshman year. We bought a small tudor house on the outskirts of town for Alice, Adrian, Bella and myself. It was conveniently located adjacent to a large nature preserve and near the football practice fields.

Rosalie and Emmett had decided to forgo college for an extended African vacation. Carlisle and Esme thought it would be nice to give Bella and Adrian 'the full college experience,' which basically meant no parents around, so they were staying in Forks for the time being.

Edward, on the other hand, had decided to come to college with us. Not only that, he decided it was time for another medical degree, so he would be taking most, if not all, of his classes with Bella. Maybe I was paranoid, but it seemed unlikely that it was just a coincidence. Bella was just excited that she would have someone to help her along, so I kept my opinions to myself. The only saving grace was that he had decided to buy his own home a few blocks away from ours, so he wouldn't actually be living with us. Edward said he was looking forward to the peace and quiet of not having others' thoughts invading his head all the time.

I looked over at Bella wistfully. She was looking out the window of the airplane, absentmindedly playing with her ruby necklace. Much to my chagrin, it never left her neck. Bella said she wanted to do anything she could to ease his pain, so she did as he asked and never took it off. She had also insisted that we not be intimate or publicly affectionate whenever Edward was around. Considering that Edward rarely left the house except to hunt, that had pretty much meant that I was only able to show my love to her when we were at Charlie's house. It was another reason why I was glad he wasn't going to be living with us. It was so hard to restrain myself. Whenever I was near Bella, I wanted her in my arms. It was a craving I felt more strongly than any other I had ever felt in my life. I took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Bella turned to me and smiled, mouthing 'I love you" to me before returning to the window. She looked so beautiful as she watched the clouds beneath us.

I looked across the aisle and saw Alice sitting in between Adrian and Edward. Alice and Adrian seemed utterly unaware of Edward's presence, wrapped up as they were in their own little world. _They had no such rules regarding public displays of affection_, I thought with a scowl. Edward looked over at me, obviously having heard my thoughts, a smile barely curving the edges of his mouth before he quickly returned to his magazine. His emotions, as they have been ever since Bella and I had gotten together ten months ago, revealed nothing but calm. I was convinced that he had somehow learned to suppress his feelings around me; no one was that calm all the time, least of all Edward. It put me on edge.

Alice broke away from her make-out session with Adrian to gaze off into the distance. "Ally-Angel, what do you see? Is everything alright?" Adrian had long since learned the signs of Alice's visions. It warmed my dead heart to see how attentive he was to her. They were perfect together.

"It's a good thing most of our stuff is already at the house. The airline is going to lose Bella's luggage." Bella scowled. "That's alright, I've been meaning to get rid of most of the clothes in there anyway," Alice said in a self-satisfied voice as Bella rolled her eyes at her.

"Alice," I warned with a low growl. She and I had more than one conversation in recent months about her letting Bella make her own decisions about what she wears or how she chooses to do her hair and makeup. Alice had lightened up a lot about guilting Bella to go shopping now that she had such a willing partner in Adrian, but she couldn't resist forcing the occasional makeover on her or complaining about her clothes.

"Ugh," Alice groaned. "You never let me have any fun anymore. _Edward_ always liked it when I dressed Bella up." That evil little pixie! She stuck her tongue out at me.

Edward's head shot up, "Oh no, you don't. I'm not getting in the middle of this. If anything, I agree with Jasper. I should have put a stop to your antics the first time you forced Bella in front of your vanity." _Wow, that was unexpected._ I looked over at Bella, who was positively beaming with pride in Edward's direction. She must have seen me out of the corner of her eye, because she quickly ducked her head to look back out the window.

I was so glad when the plane finally landed. We gathered our luggage, sans Bella's, filled out the claim check slip with our address in case it turned up, and headed out to find our cars. Alice and Edward had chosen to have the Volvo and Porsche shipped from Forks. I had purchased a new, red Chevy Silverado pickup truck for Bella and me. She had been so sad when her old clunker had finally kicked the bucket. I wanted it to be an early birthday surprise for her, as well as the twin BMW K1200 motorcycles I bought for us that were waiting in our new garage. Adrian teased me that I was just trying to compensate for Christmas, but I didn't care. Bella promised me I could buy her anything I wanted for her birthday, and I was going to take full advantage of it. This was just the beginning of the surprises in store for my Bella.

We had arranged for the moving company to drop all three cars off in the short term parking lot. Bella squealed with delight when she saw the pickup truck parked in between the Volvo and Porsche with a big, red, bow on the windshield. She loved it so much she forgot about her own rule and jumped into my arms, wrapping her arms and legs around me to give me a passionate kiss that I gladly returned. I felt a sharp twinge of jealousy from Edward but no sooner had I felt it than it was gone. It was going to be an interesting year.

**A/N: Okay, here you go...what do you think? The Naked Cullen Boys are dying to know!!! The world tour of their Cullendales show has started -- first stop, Sydney!**


	2. Chapter 1: Pick Up Trucks

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. You knew that.**

**A/N: 184 reviews...for a prologue?! I feel like I just got nominated for an Oscar. I'm all blubbery like Sally Fields..."They like me, they really like me!" This chapter is lovingly dedicated to Tammy and Lea, you know why! If you're looking for a good Jasper/Bella story while you're waiting for my next update, check out Colliding Meteors by IDreamofEddy. Her pissed-off Jasper is uber-sexy and says everything you ever thought about Edward when he left Bella in New Moon. Tell her Miss Lillie sent you!**

**Edward's POV**

I chanced a glance at Bella across the aisle of the airplane. Jasper was watching her, too, which allowed me an extra moment before I would have to look away. The sun was bathing her in soft golden beams through the window, and she looked even more like an angel than usual. She was fiddling with my necklace, moving the clasp with the charm to the back of her neck. She was always so careful to keep that charm out of view. I knew she felt guilty for not telling Jasper the whole truth about the necklace. It was true that I had bought the pendant long before she left me. In fact, I had it custom made for her months earlier. But I had added the tiny charm to the clasp afterwards; engraved with 'NDNF' on one side and 'Forever' on the other. The NDNF stood for 'Never Doubt, Never Forget.' It was what I told her our last night together in our meadow. I needed her to know that no matter what happened, I would always love her. Forever. I didn't want her to feel guilty, but I had to admit that it thrilled me that she never took that necklace off. In some small way, I hoped against hope that it was her way of keeping my cold stone heart close to hers and that it reminded her that she had options.

_They had no such rules regarding public displays of affection,_ Jasper had thought bitterly as he watched Alice and Adrian embrace. I glanced over at him and had to hold back a smirk. So Bella had instilled a few rules on him, too. I had suspected as much. Somehow, I think the rules she had made for me were harder. She knew I still loved her, knew how jealous I was of Jasper. But she also knew that I truly did want her to be happy, and I wanted to be able to stay in her life, even if only as a friend. She had told me in no uncertain terms that I had to keep my emotions in check around Jasper. She did not want him and me fighting, and she didn't want him tormented with my emotions. I knew Bella was trying to perform a very delicate balancing act, and I wanted to do everything I could to make it easier on her.

At first I simply left whenever he was around, but it forced me to stay away from Bella as well, and caused my family to worry about me. So I did a lot of reading on meditation and mental focus. For the most part, I was able to block him now, keep my feelings hidden deep within my heart, but it was draining. That was one of the reasons why I was looking forward to having my own place. I needed a reprieve from trying to hold everything in, especially when I started reading the book Bella gave me for Christmas. I knew I couldn't read it around Jasper, there was no way I would be able to withhold an emotional response to it. I have kept it close to me for almost 9 months now, afraid to read it and now I was finally going to get my chance.

When we reached the parking lot, I saw the new truck waiting for Bella and fully expected her to lay into Jasper for buying it for her. Instead she rushed into his arms, literally jumping into his embrace, and kissed him a way I had only dreamt of her kissing me, passionately with no fear, no thoughts of anything or anyone else. I wasn't sure what I was more jealous of, the fact that she was in his arms, the way he was kissing her, or the fact that he was able to buy her a new car when she would never let me. I took a deep breath and focused on getting to my new home as quickly as possible before I let something slip. I threw my bags in my trunk, gave Alice and Bella a quick peck on the cheek, shook Jasper and Adrian's hands, and told everyone I'd see them in the morning.

Esme had taken care of everything for my new house, and I was thankful. It was just to my taste. A small brick home just a few short blocks from the others, out of range for our hearing or powers. It had two bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen and a study. I was surprised to find the kitchen stocked. I guess Esme assumed I would be having company. I hoped she was right. The living room had all my movies and CDs already arranged in a cabinet, a stereo system built in, and a flat screen TV over the wood burning fireplace. There was a beautiful Persian rug laying over the hardwood floor.

The study was filled with my books, as well as an entire library of medical books that Carlisle thought might be helpful to Bella and I in our studies. Carlisle was so proud of Bella for choosing to follow him in his profession, as was I. It was why I chose to renew my medical degree; I wanted to do everything in my power to help her succeed. The guest bedroom was beautiful, a twin size mahogany sleigh bed with a nightstand and roll-top desk. The adjoining bathroom had already been stocked as well, right down to a bottle of strawberry scented shampoo. Interesting. But what surprised me the most was the master bedroom. There was a queen size canopy bed with white and gold sheer fabric draped in swags around it, with a matching gold damask comforter and half a dozen pillows. It was very…romantic. _Why would I need this?_ Then I noticed the picture. On one of the nightstands was a small silver frame with a black and white picture of me and Bella. I was standing behind her with my arms around her waist, my chin on her shoulder as I smiled at the camera, and she had turned to kiss my cheek. We looked so happy. We looked so in love. I caressed the cheek on the picture of the girl who used to be mine before carefully returning it to its place.

I tossed my bag on the bed and pulled out the leather book and undid the clasp. My fingers rolled over the inscription on the inside cover.

_You've always wanted to be able to read my thoughts. Now you can.  
Forever, Bella_

I never had the nerve to ask her if she had done this before or after she left me. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that here in my hands was the most precious gift she could have ever given me, besides her love. Here was a copy of her diary. I hopped onto the bed and leaned back against the pillows.

_January 18, 2005__ - Today was my first day at Forks High. It was cold and rainy. At least my new truck has heat. I can't believe Charlie bought me this truck! It just goes to show that he really loves me and wants me to feel at home here. Plus, it means not having to ride to school in the cruiser, which is a good thing, because nothing draws more attention than a cop car pulling up to the front of the school. But it's more than that. I love this truck. It's just…me. I wouldn't want something flashy and shiny, and it's not. It's faded red and looks like it's tough enough to withstand anything. It's perfect._

_School was miserable. Everybody kept calling me Isabella and paid way more attention to me than I'm used to or comfortable with. I met some nice people though. Well, except for Edward Cullen. I first saw him in the lunchroom, and all I could think about was how gorgeous this guy was. Beautiful, really, with bronze hair and dark eyes, almost black. He was picking at his food but not actually eating anything and sitting with his adoptive family. I felt bad for them because it seems like they are outsiders. I know how that is. At least they have grace and good looks on their side._

_Then came Biology. Mr. Banner had me sit next to Edward, and as soon as I did he leaned away from me with a look on his face that made me think I smelled bad. Then the next time I looked at him, his hands were balled into fists and he looked like he wanted to kill me. As soon as the bell rang, he was gone. I was so angry I wanted to cry. I probably would have too if that Mike guy wasn't there. It was so embarrassing, even __he__ noticed how mean Edward was to me. Really, what did I ever do to him? As if that wasn't bad enough, when I went to turn in my paper at the end of the day, there he was…trying to get out of Biology all together. He looked so filled with hate for me that it scared me, and yet I still couldn't stop thinking about how handsome he is. How messed up is that? I managed to make it home before I started crying, at least. Tomorrow I'm going to talk to him, find out what his problem is._

I paused to think about what I'd read so far. First of all, the truck. I had never understood her obsession with that truck. It never occurred to me that truck was a physical representation of Charlie's love for her. All I saw was an old, slow, decrepit rust bucket that needed to be put out of its misery. A rust bucket that Jacob Black used to own. I wanted to buy her a new, shiny, fast car with airbags and a rollbar, but she wouldn't have it. When it had finally died, I had teased her and told her I was going to throw a party, and only laughed harder when she glared at me. Jasper had glared, too. Looking back on it, I wondered if every time I said that truck wasn't good enough, what she heard was that _she_ wasn't good enough. Or was it just that I was too busy thinking about what she _should_ want to think about what she _actually_ wanted? Maybe that's why the truck from Jasper was so well received. I made a note in the margin of the book with a pencil and dog-earred the page. I would have to ask her about that the next time we were alone. I really wanted to understand.

Then there were her first thoughts of me, right there on the page for me to read. How hard I had tried to read her mind in the cafeteria that day. How would I have reacted if I had known? I was so foolish then, I probably would have taken for granted the wondrous fact that she found me attractive. I would have thought she was just another silly girl with a silly crush. How wrong I would have been. I most definitely would have been worried about how observant she was, from the first moment she saw us. She noticed that I didn't eat, noticed how graceful we were, how my eyes were black. She even picked up on the fact that I wanted to kill her, even though I am sure she meant it metaphorically, not literally. She took pity on us for being outsiders. So typical Bella, worried about everyone else's feelings. My heart broke when I read that I had made her cry. She'd never told me that. What else would I learn from this book?

_January 24, 2005__ – It snowed today. As if all this rain wasn't bad enough, now there's snow. Cold, wet, icky snow. It wasn't anything like how it looked on TV. And to make matters worse, everyone kept throwing snowballs around. It sucked._

_Edward Cullen came back to school today. When I saw him in the cafeteria I thought I was going to be sick. I gave serious consideration to going to the nurse's office just so I could skip Biology, but I didn't. He glanced over at me once and he didn't look angry, so I decided to take my chances. Besides, I was determined not to run away – I did nothing wrong! I was stunned when he actually started talking to me in class. Even with wet, messy hair, he was gorgeous; dazzling face, flawless lips, but he looked…cautious. Then he flashed that crooked smile at me and I was speechless. I must have seemed like a complete idiot! We started doing our lab together, he's really smart, and our hands touched as we both reached for the microscope. The weirdest thing happened when they did, it was like an electric current passed between our fingers. Like when you get shocked by static electricity, but stronger. He pulled away quickly, I wonder if he felt it, too? I'm sure it was just me. But that wasn't the only weird thing about him today. His eyes weren't black anymore, they were like a dark butterscotch color. He said he didn't have contacts, so I don't know how to explain it. _

_We had this really long conversation about my family and how I ended up in Forks while we waited for everyone else to finish their labs. But just when I was starting to get comfortable around him, he started leaning away from me again, grabbing the edge of the table as if he were in pain, and the second the bell rang – gone. What is with this guy? And why can't I stop thinking about him?!_

I laughed as I thought back to that day. I remembered Mike Newton thinking she looked ill, and feeling shocked when I realized I was worried about her. It was ironic how we both considered skipping Biology that day, running away from the other one. I will forever be grateful neither of us did. I think I started to fall in love with her that day. It was the day I first noticed her beautiful blush. The day I found out how caring and selfless she is, how intelligent she is, how observant she is. I, too, had felt that burst of electricity between us when we touched. All this time, I thought she pulled away from me because of my cold skin; I thought I'd repulsed her. But that wasn't it at all, she was just as surprised by the magnetic attraction as I was. She was thinking about me just as much as I was thinking about her. If only that were still true. I hugged the book to my chest tight, clinging to my memories and letting the feelings swell around me before I had to tuck them back in again and start another day.

**A/N: The last stop of the Australia leg of the Cullendales tour; Melbourne! This will be Jacob's farewell performance before he leaves the revue show for his promotion to the NCB team. Up next -- Paris! **


	3. Chapter 2: Motorcycles

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. You knew that. **

**A/N: There be lemons here...if you're reading it at work or in front of the kids...don't say I didn't warn ya. ;) Oh, and someone asked me if I liked country music (their hubby is a DJ) or if it's a Jasper thing. I'm so sorry, I think I accidentally deleted you before I could reply. The answer is both. I listen to just about every type of music there is, including a lot of country. But I think it suits Jasper. You can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy kinda thing. Enjoy!**

**Jasper's POV**

I loaded the suitcases in the back of the truck, snapped closed the cover, then hopped in the passenger seat. A very excited Bella was bouncing in the driver's seat. She played with the stereo until she found a country music channel that was playing a Taylor Swift song she liked, and squealed when she got to plug our address into the GPS and save it as 'Home'. Something about that made me so happy, even more so because of how much it made Bella happy. The joy that was radiating from her warmed me from within. Bella loved the new truck. It was still had that sturdy truck feel she liked, just with a smoother ride and without all the noise. When we pulled into the driveway, I pushed the button on the garage remote and the door opened to reveal the twin motorcycles, one black, one red, each with a helmet and a leather riding jacket resting on the seat. Bella's eyes grew wide as she stared at them in shock.

"Are those…ours?" She asked hesitantly.

"Yes, darlin'. I hear there are some nice areas around here to go riding. I thought you'd enjoy it. Consider them an early birthday present." I cringed and waited for the outburst that didn't come. Instead, she threw the truck in park and ran to the bikes. She circled each one as she inspected them, her fingers caressing the surface seductively, the way she runs her fingers up and down my chest. She looked like she was in love.

"Let's ride," she said excitedly.

"One bike or two?" I asked with the same level of enthusiasm. "One for now, it's getting dark and I haven't been on one in a while, so we're better off with you driving. Vampire vision and all that." I put her helmet on her head and held her jacket for her before giving her a kiss on the cheek. After I had mounted the bike, Bella threw her leg over and slid in behind me, putting her feet on the pegs and wrapping her arms tight around me. I could feel her heat pressed against my back and it took everything I had to not pick her up and carry her straight into the bedroom. Instead, I fired up the bike and off we went. We rode through town, checking out the sites, then found a tree lined road that followed a river and stayed on that one for a while. It was very peaceful. Then I found an on-ramp for the highway and took it so we could get some speed. Bella squeezed me tighter as the adrenaline and sense of freedom enveloped her. The faster we went, the more excited she got. If she got this worked up from just riding on the back of a bike, I couldn't wait to see how she felt when she was actually driving one of them.

I pulled back into the driveway a couple of hours later to find the Porsche now parked next to the truck. Thankfully, the Volvo was nowhere to be found. When I parked the bike, however, I felt a sharp wave of lust crash into me from the direction of the house. Apparently, Alice and Adrian were breaking in their new bedroom. I put my finger to my lips to show Bella to be quiet, and we tiptoed into the house. Esme had outdone herself. As soon as you walked in, there was an antique redwood bench that looked like a church pew by the front door with a huge antique mirror in an ornate redwood frame above it. The living room was cozy. Esme had deviated from her usual light colors. Everything here was darker, warmer. It fit the style of the home. The flat screen TV and electronics were hidden in a large armoire across from a coffee brown leather couch. There were pictures lining the mantel over the wood burning fireplace in the corner of the room. When I went to look at them, there were pictures of the four of us, both as couples and as a group. There was even one of Bella and Adrian from when they lived in Phoenix. In the center was a larger picture of the entire family taken just a week prior. Bella was standing in between Edward and myself, with her arms around my waist. It reminded me that although Bella was mine, Edward was never far away.

"Oh Ally! Oh My God!" Bella started snickering and took me by the hand to check out the kitchen. It was already fully stocked. Bella started opening cabinets to see where everything was. Another huge wave of lust and love hit me hard from upstairs as we heard Alice screaming Adrian's name. I glided behind Bella and startled her when I wrapped my arms around her and pressed my erection in her back.

"You know what they always say?" I whispered into her neck as I kissed her.

"Mmmmm, no, what do they always say?" She hummed.

"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." Bella pulled away from me to look at me wide eyed, shock and disbelief coming from her. It took me a second to realize why.

"Not like _that_, silly! I just meant…would you like to go to _our_ bedroom with me?" Our bedroom. I liked the sound of it. We snuck past Alice and Adrian's room, where they had moved past words and were just moaning and panting. We found our bedroom at the end of the hall and for a moment all thoughts of sex left us both. We were stunned by what we saw. Esme had gone overboard, even for her. It was by far the most romantic room I had ever seen. There was a beautiful king size antique cherry bed with a deep red duvet and matching pillow shams, set against hunter green walls. Above the bed was a large painting of magnolia blossoms. The dresser had a three piece mirror above it, the two outside mirrors tilting in. On one side of the dresser was Bella's wooden chest with the magnolia tree carving. On the other side of the dresser was a beautiful arrangement of white and red pillar candles.

There were two nightstands flanking the bed, each with a silver candlestick lamp, tapestry lampshades complete with tassels atop them. One nightstand had Bella's double picture frame with the photo of me and Alice's sketch of us. On the other was a black and white picture of Bella and I that I hadn't known Esme had taken. We were curled up on the couch together, looking cozy. If I had to guess, I'd say we were probably watching a movie. I was kissing the top of Bella's head and she was smiling contentedly. It was a nice picture.

"Wow," was all Bella could say. We would have to do something nice for Esme. I swept her in my arms and jumped into the bed, kissing her furiously.

"I feel like it's been forever since I touched you, Bella. I've missed you so much," I breathed in between kisses. "I'm so glad we don't have to hide anymore. Let me make love to you, darlin'. Let me show you how much I love you."

Bella moaned into my mouth as she deepened the kiss, and I took that as a yes. I let loose my powers and let her feel all the lust and desire that had been building up in me, and was immediately rewarded with the strong scent of her arousal as she let her head flop back.

"Oh, Jasper," she sighed as I started a trail of kisses down her neck and around her collarbone, sliding her pendant to her back so all I could see was the platinum chain. My heart wanted to take our time, go slow and cherish this moment. My body had other ideas. I had a primal need for Bella that would no longer be denied. I ripped her blouse off with one flick of my wrists and quickly made short work of her bra before ravaging her breasts with my mouth. As my tongue flew in circles around her nipple, I tore off her jeans and panties as well. I stopped for a moment to sit up and look at Bella laid out before me.

"Glorious," I whispered to her as I began kissing and nibbing my way down her stomach to my favorite spot on the inside of her hipbone. She laughed a little when she felt me sucking there, returning to its rightful place the strawberry mark I love so much.

"Maybe I should just get a hickey tattooed there. It would save you some work," she teased.

"Oh, but what pleasurable work it is, darlin'." I dove between her legs, then, licking and nipping her folds as the passion between us grew like a forest fire. When I plunged two fingers into her, she screamed my name. I didn't care who heard. _Let the whole world hear that magnificent sound_. She climaxed quickly, arching her back into me. I ripped off my own clothing as I crawled back up to her only to be rewarded with a deep, lustful kiss. Bella's arousal on its own tasted wonderful, but mixed with the taste of her mouth, and it was pure heaven on Earth. Bella wrapped her legs around me and pulled me to her.

"Now, Jasper. I need you. Please," she begged, and I willingly acquiesced. I thrust into her hard and fast, but within the limits of control I needed to not hurt her. I tried to go slow as I rocked in and out, but Bella's need was as strong as my own and it wasn't long before she was meeting me with every thrust, lifting herself off the bed. "Faster, Jasper. I need more." I did as she asked, but knew I wouldn't hold out much longer at this pace. I reached down to where we were joined and caressed her clit with my thumb.

"Come for me now, honey. Let it out." Bella's muscles clamped around me powerfully as I released deep inside her. I slumped my head into the crook of her neck and pulled her with me on our sides so that I could stay inside her without putting too much weight directly on her. I wrapped my arm around her lower back and started tracing lazy circles with my fingertips. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too, Jasper," Bella mumbled, almost asleep. Alice chose that moment to bang on our door.

"If you two are quite done in there, could you put the bullhorn down and come out here, please? I ordered you and Adrian Chinese food." Bella moaned and I felt her irritation as she put the pillow over her head, but her stomach betrayed her and growled. Regretfully, we separated and got dressed. We walked downstairs hand in hand, and as soon as we reached the bottom of the stairs, I put my arm around her waist and pulled her to me. I could be as affectionate as I wanted now, and I wasn't going to miss a beat. Bella looked up to smile at me and I kissed her forehead.

"Geez, you think you could be any louder, guys?" Adrian complained as he dove his chopsticks into a box of chicken lo mein.

"Talk about the pot calling the kettle black, loverboy," Bella said as she pulled out a spot-on Adrian impersonation, "_Oh Ally-Angel, Oh My God, you're soooo tight!_" Adrian blushed and shoved another scoop of food into his mouth as Alice threw a napkin at Bella with a scowl.

"Well, luckily for us, I have a solution for this dilemma. I've already seen it and it works out fine, so don't go getting worked up over it, Jasper." Alice looked at me pointedly and I was already not liking the idea. "Edward has a spare bedroom at his place. On the nights that I have to hunt, Adrian will go to Edward's so you two can have an evening alone. On the nights that Jasper has to hunt…"

"Are you kidding me? You're not honestly asking me to let Bella sleep over at Edward's once a week, are you?" I was furious.

Bella looked at me with her head tilted. I felt anger brewing underneath the surface, but she was trying to keep it in. "_Let_ me, Jasper? Really?" _Shit. Way to open mouth and insert foot, Jasper._

"You know what I mean, darlin'. Of course I didn't mean it like that, it's just that you can't expect me to be happy about this idea."

Her anger subsided but in its place there was this feeling of sadness coming from her. I preferred the anger. "Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you. It's him I don't trust." I was pouting and I knew it, but I couldn't help it.

Alice carefully chose her words, and looked at me softly as she said them. "I think it's important to remember, Jasper, that you were the one sneaking in Bella's room when she was still with Edward. He has not done a single inappropriate thing since they broke up. Even if you don't trust Edward, you should really put a little more faith into Bella. And me. I already told you, I saw it and it's fine. They hang out, they study, they play games. That's it."

I should have stopped while I was behind, but the words came out before I thought about them, full of sarcasm and innuendo. "What _kind_ of games?" Bella groaned and got up from the couch to go storming into the kitchen. Adrian gave me a dirty look and followed after her. Alice moved from her seat to sit by me.

"Board games, video games, chess. _Those_ kinds of games, you idiot." Alice spoke the words kindly, though, and I felt her take pity on me.

"Bella wants to stay friends with Edward, which is a good idea for everyone because we are all still family. She is trying very hard to balance on a knife edge to make that work. You're going to have to loosen up and try to not let him get to you so much."

"You know he still loves her, Alice. He never stopped." I looked down at my hands in my lap. Alice slipped her hand between mine and squeezed it gently.

"Just like I still love you and you still love me. You don't see Bella getting all worked up about it, do you? She doesn't, not even when we're alone together."

"It's not the same with him and you know it."

"What I know is that Bella loves you and she trusts you, and one of the things she has always loved most about you was that you trusted her, too, when no one else did. Don't lose sight of that now."

I sighed. "You're right."

Alice smiled and gave me a peck on the cheek. "Of course I am, silly! Now go say you're sorry and send my man back out here. He's got early morning work-outs tomorrow."

"So does that mean no more late night works-outs tonight, then?" I asked with a smirk. I was rewarded with a swift punch to the bicep.

"Watch it, mister," Alice growled playfully at me.

"Yes, ma'am," I laughed as I got up and headed for the kitchen. I walked in to find Bella leaning on the counter crying and blowing her nose loudly as Adrian rubbed her back. He looked up when he saw me and scowled.

"I know. Can I talk to her please?"

Adrian looked at Bella. "You alright, Tinker Bells?" When Bella nodded, Adrian pushed off the counter and went back in the living room. Bella blew her nose again and looked at me with red, puffy eyes and I felt terrible for being the cause of it.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I should never have said those things, and I certainly wasn't accusing you of anything. It's just that sometimes my jealousy and insecurity get the better of me. I couldn't bear it if I lost you." I took her in my arms and she snuggled tightly against me.

"You won't, Jasper. Just please understand that this is hard for me. I feel a lot of guilt over what we did to Edward, and I want to make sure he's okay. You and Alice got to stay friends, there's no reason that Edward and I shouldn't be able to stay friends, too. I know you think it's different because Alice is with someone else and Edward isn't, but it's not about Alice or Edward. It's about us. Please try and understand."

"Okay, Bella. I trust you. Just promise you'll tell me if he tries anything, okay?"

"Of course I will, as long as you promise not to kill him if he does." I growled a little at that one, but promised anyway and kissed her on the nose.

"Come on, let's get you in bed. Tomorrow's a big day!" Bella smiled at me and we headed for bed. Bella put on one of my t-shirts and crawled into the massive bed, snuggling tight against me before she kissed me goodnight. I would never get enough of the feeling of her warmth wrapped around me at night as she slept, looking like an angel. About an hour later she moaned my name in her sleep with a smile on her face and I found peace once again.

**A/N: The Cullendales show is beginning it's US run in New York City! Jacob's replacement on the tour? James! (Check out the Cam pics on the Redemption forum thread if you're not sure about him. That boy is 10 kinds of yummy!)**


	4. Chapter 3: Blessings

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. You know that.**

**A/N: A few of my other stories have been nominated for Eddie and Bellie awards. A Lesson in Release has been nominated for Best Novel and the S. Meyer award for best grammar, punctuation and spelling. NCB, Inc. and Edward's Release were nominated for best multi-chapter smut. (*blushes*). Please go to http://www(dot) thecatt (dot) net/tw/Default (dot) aspx and cast your nominations, too! The stories with the most nominations move forward for the judge's consideration. THANKS!!!**

**It should be mentioned that there are Midnight Sun spoilers in this story...**

**Edward's POV**

I leaned against my car and waited for Jasper and Bella to arrive. Bella and I had all our classes together except one, so I told her I would meet her in the parking lot and we could walk to class together. I was watching for the pick-up truck, so needless to say I was caught off guard when they came careening around the corner not in the truck, but on a motorcycle. Bella had her upper body flush against Jasper's back and her arms wrapped around him tight as he sped into the parking lot, stopping next to me. Anger overtook my senses and I was about to pummel Jasper for being so reckless with Bella when she climbed off the back of the bike and took off her helmet. I stared for longer than I should have as she shook out her chestnut tresses, her face positively radiant. I couldn't understand it. She used to be scared when I would carry her on my back to run to our meadow. How could the same girl get so much joy out of speeding on a motorcycle? Still, no matter how much she enjoyed it, it didn't excuse Jasper's carelessness.

"Chill out, Edward," Jasper chided me as he threw his leg off the bike and started getting their books from the satchels on the back. "It's not like I'm going to crash. She's every bit as safe on the back of my bike as she is in the Volvo going 120." I focused on pushing the emotions back down, but then Jasper continued. "She won't go that fast when she's driving hers, I'm sure." Hers? Hers! He bought her a…motorcycle?! Before I could even stop to think about the repercussions, I turned on her.

"Bella, you and I discussed this. There is no way you should be driving a motorcycle! You know it's dangerous. Even your father forbade it. Have you completely lost all common sense?" Jasper growled at me, and Bella looked as though she were going to cry.

"Well," she sniffled, "I guess it's a good thing that neither you nor my father can forbid me to do anything anymore, then, isn't it?" _Damn, I did it again_. _Breathe, Edward._

"I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have said that. I just worry about you so much. The stories Carlisle has told me about motorcycle accident victims that have come through the ER are terrifying, and I would never want that to happen to you. Please just promise me you'll be careful, okay?" Bella nodded. "Forgive me?" She nodded again. _Time to mend some fences_. "So, Jasper, what kind of bike is that, anyway? It looks like a beautiful piece of machinery," I tried to sound nonchalant as we began walking towards campus.

"It's a BMW K1200. Bella's bike is just like mine, only in red." Jasper smiled at her when he said it, and she beamed back. Not only had Jasper bought her a motorcycle, and she'd let him, but he had bought her one of the fastest bikes on the market. Brilliant. _Time to change the subject_.

"So our first class is in Independence Hall, which is not the building that actually looks like Independence Hall. The building that is a replica of Independence Hall is named University Hall. I'm not sure that bodes well for the level of education we will be receiving here," I joked as we walked past the stadium towards our building. "What building are you in first, Jasper?"

"Hagerty Hall, it's on the other side of the Oval from yours." The Oval was the term for the large courtyard in the center of the main part of campus. The main classroom buildings circled it, and there were several sidewalks that served as cut-throughs radiating from the center. "In fact, I should probably get a move-on if I'm going to make it on time. Bella, do you want to meet me at the Wexner center around 12:30? We both have a break at that time, and most of the restaurants are near there on High Street."

"I'd love to, Jasper. See you then. Have a great day!" Jasper hesitated, thinking about kissing Bella, but remembered her rules and chose not to. I watched as he jogged ahead of us and I relaxed a bit, not having to hide my emotions for a little while. Bella and I walked in companionable silence for a moment, but I could tell something was on her mind.

"What are you thinking, Bella? You do forgive me, right?"

"I forgive you, Edward. It's fine. I was actually going to ask you for a favor." Bella bit her bottom lip and avoided eye contact.

"Anything, Bella, just name it."

"Well, this was Alice's idea, and I don't know how you'd feel about it. We were wondering if, on the nights Alice goes hunting, if Adrian could spend the night at your house, you know, in your spare room…and…if Jasper is hunting…if I could." No wonder she was so nervous. Suddenly some of the things Esme had done made sense. This could be both heaven and hell for me if I agreed. On the nights Adrian was at my house, I would have a constant reminder that Bella and Jasper were alone together, most probably doing things I couldn't bear to think about them doing. On the other hand, it would mean that once a week, Bella would be staying with me. For the sake of my sanity, I knew I should say no.

"Sure, Bella. I can understand how that might be…beneficial…to the four of you. It's not like I don't have the room. You and Adrian should move some stuff in, clothes and what not, so you don't have to keep carrying it back and forth. I suspect Alice may have told Esme about this already. My kitchen is stocked and there's strawberry shampoo in the bathroom." Bella chuckled at that, sounding relieved. "Here we are. We should be in Room 110, the main lecture hall. Do you want to sit towards the front or the back?" Bella chose the back and we quickly found our seats. Biology 101. Easy. I pulled out my book and glanced at Bella's diary in my backpack. It would have been too obvious to bring it out then. It would have to wait until later. At least now I knew when I would have the opportunity to ask her some of the questions I had for her.

"So who's staying at Hotel Edward first? You or Adrian?" _Please say you. _

"Hotel Edward. That's funny! Me. Actually, we were hoping I could come over tonight, if that alright. Or is that too short of notice?" It took everything I had to keep my expression casual.

"No, that's fine. I didn't have any plans tonight. Why don't you bring your homework with you and we can do it together?"

"Great! Oh, and Edward? This whole idea is kind of hard for Jasper, you know? Don't say anything to make it worse, alright?" It occurred to me that this had to be killing Jasper. I hated it when Bella would visit Jacob for a few hours, I couldn't imagine what I would have done if Bella had spent the night alone with him, no matter how innocent it was. I found myself feeling sorry for Jasper, but not enough to contain my joy at the time I would get to spend with Bella.

"Of course, Bella." Class started then and our conversation had to end. The rest of the morning went by far too quickly before Bella was running off for her lunch with Jasper. After lunch, I had Music Appreciation without her, and then one more class together at the end of the day.

I sat down at one of the picnic tables in the Oval and pulled out Bella's diary, a highlighter and a pen and started to read.

_January 25, 2005_ – _I almost died today. Edward Cullen saved me, but I don't know how. I was thinking about him on my drive to school, trying to figure out why he lied about his eyes, and why he seemed so hostile at times. Mostly, though, I was just thinking about his perfect face, and how stupid it was that I was so anxious to get to school just to see him. My truck had no problems at all on the icy roads, and when I got to school I figured out why. Charlie had put snow chains on my tires for me. I was inspecting the chains and thinking about how once again this truck had shown me how much my dad cares for me when it happened. I heard a screeching noise and looked up to find where it was coming from, but all I saw was Edward, four cars down, looking at me in horror. Then I saw Tyler's van, skidding out of control and heading right for me. I was hit, but not by the truck, and I felt something solid and cold pinning me down as I hit my head on the concrete. I heard Edward mutter 'Fuck!' and opened my eyes just in time to see Edward stop the van – with his bare hands! _

_When I asked him how he got there so fast, he tried to argue that he was right next to me the whole time, but I know better. Finally he asked me 'please' and I realized that was the story he wanted me to tell for some reason. He asked me to trust him and said he'd explain later. _

_I was stuck in the emergency room for what seemed like forever when Edward's dad, Dr. Cullen (who is almost as gorgeous as his son) released me. I hinted to him about Edward saving me and he got nervous. Whatever it is that is different about Edward – his dad knows._

_I asked Edward if I could talk to him, and he seemed really pissed off and hostile. Again. All I wanted was the truth, but he started arguing with me that I hit my head and didn't know what I was talking about, and that no one would believe me anyway. Like I would tell anybody! I asked him why he bothered saving me and he said…get this…"I don't know." I'm so angry right now, and in a lot of pain. I'm going to take some Tylenol and try and sleep this off. Maybe I'll figure it out in the morning._

_January 26, 2005__ – I had a weird dream about Edward last night. It was dark, except for him. He was glowing, kinda. He was walking away from me, but no matter how hard I tried to catch up to him, I couldn't reach him. I screamed his name, but he didn't turn around. Needless to say I had a hard time falling back to sleep after that. I was going to apologize to him today, thank him properly, but he wouldn't even talk to me. He really must wish he hadn't saved me._

Alice had told me the morning of the accident that my life was at a crossroads. How right she was. I was already so obsessed with Bella. I was staring at her like a lovesick schoolboy when she was checking her snow chains. I had wondered at the time why she seemed so emotional about them, but then everything happened so fast. Alice had a vision of the accident and I just acted. I had to save her. I HAD TO. All I could think was _Not Her! _I still can't believe she'd seen everything. She'd even heard me swear. I felt bad for that, it was no way to speak in front of a lady. _I'll have to apologize to her for that, _I thought as I highlighted the oath on the page.

I had felt like a cad that day for laying there with her after I'd stopped the van, thinking about her body pressed up against mine, her body heat engulfing me, when I should have been more concerned with her well-being or the fact that I could have exposed myself and my family to the entire student population. Even now I could close my eyes and relieve that feeling. It was the first time that the burn her scent caused was associated with pleasure, not just her impending death.

When Tyler was sitting in the emergency room thinking about asking Bella out, I shocked myself with how fast I flew from Carlisle's office to her bedside. I chuckled when I remembered that I had thought Bella recognized the similarities between Carlisle and I when she first met him. Here she just thought he was handsome! I would have to tease her about that later, I thought as I highlighted that passage. I was glad I didn't know that at the time, though. I had been jealous enough of him getting to touch her, even if it was just to examine her and to catch her when she stumbled.

My heart wrenched when I thought of how I'd been intentionally cruel to her when she asked me to explain how I'd saved her. She couldn't have known my reasons, or how much it hurt me to do it, but I was trying to protect her. Rosalie and Jasper wanted to kill her that day, in order to protect our secret. _I wonder if Jasper ever thinks about that now. I wonder what Bella would think if she knew that_. He had envisioned a dozen different ways of attacking her. "I won't let Alice live in danger, even a slight danger. You don't feel about anyone the way I feel about her, Edward," he had said. The irony of it shot through my system. I had only stayed because Alice was afraid Jasper would kill Bella if I left her unprotected. I had even contemplated kidnapping Bella to keep her safe from him. _Maybe I should have_.

Suddenly I remembered something. The night of the accident, when Alice had told us that if I didn't kill Bella she would become one of us someday, she wasn't looking at me. She was looking at Jasper! Did she know then that all this would happen? I made a note in the margin of the book to ask Alice about it.

"Yes, Edward," Alice said simply as she and Adrian sat down across from me at the table. "At least, I knew that he would be the one to change her. I didn't know…everything else."

I looked up at her, and I know she and Adrian saw the utter despair in my eyes. "Will he still?"

"Yes." I hung my head and wanted to cry. I locked the clasp on the book and started to put in my bag. I needed to get away.

"What are you two talking about?" Adrian asked. He pointed to the diary. "What is that book? Isn't that the book Bella gave you for Christmas last year?"

"We were talking about a vision I had when Bella first moved to Forks. A vision where Jasper turned Bella. The book is her diary." I was thankful to Alice for answering for me. I was uncapable of speech.

"Oh, I see. So are you learning anything from the guide?" Adrian asked with a smirk. He and I got along for the others' sake, but had never become friends. He didn't approve of me, and resented me for hurting Bella.

"The guide?" I asked him, curious.

"Yeah, she could have titled that 'Edward's Guide to Not Being a Complete Tool.' Although Bella should have told you what was going on in that head of hers at the time. Doesn't make much difference now, but it might have then. I wonder what possessed her to give it to you now?" Adrian mused. I should have been insulted, but I couldn't bring myself to be. He was right, of course. I had only barely started reading and had already found at least half a dozen things I planned on apologizing for tonight.

"I've got to get to class," I said as I stood up. "Enjoy your evening tonight, guys. Adrian, I told Bella that you two should bring some clothes over to my house and just leave them there for when you stay. Esme has already stocked the kitchen and bathrooms."

"Hey, thanks for that, man, I know it's a big inconvenience," Adrian said with begrudging appreciation.

"Not at all," I said as I headed to Music Appreciation. It was the easiest elective I could have possibly taken, requiring absolutely no attention on my part. I walked a little faster as I realized it would give me an extra hour to get some reading done.

_February 18, 2005 __– Had another dream about Edward last night, like I do every night. It's stupid. He doesn't even know I exist, and yet he's all I think about. His eyes looked darker today, not as golden_. _Talked to my mom today, she said she can tell I'm miserable and depressed and wanted to know why._ _What am I supposed to tell her? I am obsessed with a strange boy who might be related to Clark Kent, and he saved my life but wishes he hadn't and now ignores me completely? Yeah, that'd go over well. I told her it was the weather. It's not a total lie – the weather here does suck. The rain's been coming down hard and heavy lately._

_Mike sat by me before Biology class again today. I'm grateful for the distraction, it keeps me from staring at Edward or breaking down crying like an idiot when he ignores me. Still, I think Mike's getting the wrong idea. I'm going to have to say something to him about it sooner or later. I choose later._

_March 3, 2005__ – What do they put in the water at this school, anyway? In Phoenix, none of the boys bothered me at all. Here, none of them will leave me alone. Well, except for the only one I DON'T want to leave me alone. But that's neither here nor there. _

_The girl's choice dance is in two weeks. Key words being Girl's Choice. I have no intention of choosing anyone to go with me. I wouldn't have even asked Edward. Falling on my face in front of the whole school because of my lack of coordination is not my idea of a fun evening. Yet despite the fact that it was a girl's choice, I had not one, not two, but three boys ask me to the dance today. Holy crow! First, Mike asked me in Biology. I lied and told him I was going to Seattle. So I guess I'm taking a little road trip in a couple of weeks._

_I could have sworn Edward was listening to our conversation, but I'm sure that's just wishful thinking on my part. I did catch him staring at me afterwards, though. I was actually shaking, just because he was looking at me. I'm so pathetic. He did talk to me after class, though. He apologized for being rude and told me it was better if we weren't friends. I was pissed. I told him he should have just let the van squish me so he wouldn't have to regret saving me. Then he got mad back and told me that I didn't know anything. _

_All I wanted to do at the end of the day was get to my truck and run away, but No! Eric was there waiting for me. I told him the same lie I told Mike. He finally got out of the way and I hopped in my truck ready to make a break for it, but then freaking Edward cut me off and just stopped in front of me. Just stopped! There's this whole line of traffic forming behind me and the one person I'm trying to get away from is the very person blocking my escape. _

_Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, Tyler knocks on my window and HE asks me to the dance. That idiot already knew I'd turned down Mike but he asked me anyway. I had absolutely no patience left when I told him the same story I'd told the other two. He said something about going to prom instead and left._

_Edward was watching me in his rear view mirror and I could swear he was laughing at me, as if he knew what just happened, even though I know there's no way he could have. He had me so riled up that I gave serious consideration to tapping his bumper with my truck and messing up that shiny silver paint job of his. I shouldn't be mad at him, though, it's not his fault he's not interested in me. Why would he be? I don't hold a candle to him. He's so gorgeous and perfect, and I'm so….not. Great, now I'm crying again. I guess that's enough rambling for one day, huh? _

To think I actually saw Mike Newton as a rival at one point in time. Now I understand rivalry. A true rival is not the obvious one, the one who you can take at face value and plan your actions around accordingly. No, true rivals are the ones you don't see, the ones that sneak up on you in the night and blindside you when you aren't looking, the ones who call you brother. _I know that Jasper loves her. I know that he didn't mean to hurt me. I know that I made mistakes where he didn't and I might have lost her anyway. It doesn't lessen my anguish. _Everyone started getting up out of their seats. I hadn't even heard the teacher dismiss us. I stayed there for a few moments, focusing on my blessings so I could suppress these feelings before I had to see Bella and Jasper again. _I have Bella's words, reaching out to me from the past to tell me how much she really did love me. That is truly a blessing. Bella and I are still friends. I still get to be in her life, see her every day. Those are blessings. Bella is still human. That is a blessing, for now. Bella is spending the night at my house tonight. That is the greatest blessing of all, and I intend to make the most of it_.

**A/N: Credit for Adrian's title for Bella's diary goes to Lead69. She called the diary that on the Twilighted Forum and I thought it was so funny, I decided to use it.**

**I'm really anxious to hear what you think about this one! The Cullendales are performing a one-night-only sold out show at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut and then they are off to Chicago!**


	5. Chapter 4: Down By The River

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do however, own Adrian, this story line, and a halfway decent wine cellar. **

**A/N: I have added a link on my profile to an interactive campus map for OSU if you're interested. Oh, and there be lemons here! It's a short one, but it packs a punch!**

**Jasper's POV**

I took Bella to The Flying Tomato, a little pizza place across from campus I had overheard some other students talking about. It had only been a couple of hours, but I had missed her terribly. We got her food and sat down by the window so she could eat. I intentionally chose a table for four so I could sit next to her instead of across from her. I put my hand on her thigh and started caressing her knee with my thumb as she ate. Bella smiled at me demurely and I felt her love and contentment. I sighed a breath I hadn't even realized I was holding and relaxed a little. It never ceased to amaze me how just the smallest touch of her warm skin to mine could center me.

"How were your classes so far?" I asked her.

"Oh, fine. I'm not used to having so many people in one class, though. My Biology lecture was in an auditorium for goodness sakes."

"Most of the 100 level courses are like that, especially at a school this size. The further along you get, the smaller the classes will be." Bella just nodded in understanding since her mouth was full, which I found oddly tantalizing. I reached up and brushed a little tomato sauce off the corner of her mouth. I leaned forward and kissed her, sucking her bottom lip into my mouth and licking it. Bella purred against my tongue before breaking the kiss.

"Jasper, if you don't quit getting me so worked up, we'll never make our afternoon classes," Bella teased. _Fine by me._ I pulled away, though. The last thing I wanted was to get Bella excited right before she was going to spend another hour with Edward.

"Did you talk to Edward about Alice's idea?" I was still unhappy about this whole arrangement, even if it did mean that I would have Bella to myself at least one evening a week. It also meant that Edward would have Bella to himself at least one evening a week. I didn't trust him. I wanted to, but it wasn't working. I resolved that maybe I can't trust him, but I would have to trust her.

"Yes, I did, and he's fine with it." _Of course he is_. "He suggested Adrian and I bring some clothes to keep over there so we didn't have to keep lugging stuff back and forth. That's a good idea, don't you think?"

Deep breath. "Sure, that makes sense." Bella looked up at me and I knew she could read me like a book.

"Jasper, please don't be jealous. It'll be fine. Alice even told you so. This arrangement benefits us, too, you know?" Bella grabbed my shirt and bid me to come closer so she could kiss me, long and deep. "I told him I'd go over tonight so you could hunt, and then Adrian will sleep over on Friday." Bella looked at her watch and stood up. "Come on, we'd better get going." She took a hold of my hand and squeezed it lovingly as we walked outside. There was a boy on the street corner passing out flyers for a place called The Library. He handed one to Bella and something in her face seemed to ask the question he was expecting, so he answered it.

"The Library is a bar on the other side of High Street. They named it that so that you wouldn't have to lie to your parents when they call and ask what you did last night…you can just say you went to the library!" he laughed at the joke. "Friday is open mike night and drinks are half price from 6-8pm. You guys should come!" Bella's face lit up at the idea. I was confused. Bella had never shown any interest at all in drinking. She spun on her heels to look at me when we got to the intersection. She was positively jubilant.

"Can we, Jasper? I'd love to see you sing on stage!" I couldn't help the grin on my face. "Okay, darlin'. Anything you want. But I don't want to stay out too late. After all, we have the house to ourselves on Friday." I raised my eyebrows suggestively and pinched her butt as the light changed and we crossed the street. Bella jumped and swatted my hand away, laughing, and I put my arm around her shoulders, pulling her to my side as we walked in step. I let her feel how happy I was and she wrapped her arm even tighter around my waist as we walked.

My good mood was quickly dampered when I saw Edward waiting for Bella outside the building for their last class of the day. As soon as Bella saw him, she shrugged out from under my arm and looked at me apologetically. I felt a wave of sadness and guilt from her. She knew the rules upset me and she felt bad about it, but she still held to her belief that it was the right thing to do. Bella was bound and determined to keep the peace. She just wanted everyone to be happy, and I didn't have the heart to tell her that it doesn't often happen like that in situations like these.

Usually I would try and say something to lessen her guilt but I couldn't bring myself to do it this time. "I'll meet you right here after class, alright, sweetheart?" Bella nodded and walked to Edward's side and disappeared inside the building with him. I couldn't tell you a thing that was discussed in my class. I was stewing about this evening, wishing there was some way to never have to hunt again, but I knew I needed to. Especially since it seemed I was going to be in a crowded bar with Bella on Friday night. That thought cheered me a little. Just me and Bella. No Charlie. No Alice and Adrian. No Edward.

I ran a little faster than human speed to get back to Bella after class. As I was approaching, I saw Edward and Bella come out of the building. Bella tripped on the steps and Edward caught her from behind, pulling her back upright against him. Bella blushed and pulled away. She turned to face him and he brushed her hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ears, then rubbed his hands up and down her forearms for a moment in what I supposed was a comforting gesture before they continued walking. Jealousy and anger coursed through me. When I reached them, I tried to sample Edward's emotions, but all I got from him was that ever present calm, blocking me. I decided that I'd had enough of the rules. I took Bella's hand in mine and pulled her tight against my chest, kissing her fiercely. Bella was stunned for a moment but recovered quickly. She pulled back from me with a knowing smirk but didn't let go of my hand. I felt irritation and confusion from her, but also a little lust. Edward just stood there and watched us, expressionless, no emotions emanating from him at all.

The three of us walked, Bella in the middle, to the parking lot without a word. I hopped on the bike and Bella was putting her helmet on before Edward spoke.

"So Bella, what time should I expect you this evening?" He said it as if it were a date. I repressed a growl.

"Around 7, I think." Bella looked at me for approval and I nodded, gritting my teeth.

"Alright, in that case, I will plan on you having dinner then, if you wish, before we start our assignments." Edward got in his car before she could even respond. Bella shrugged her shoulders at me and hopped on the back of the bike.

"Mind telling me what that was back there, Whitlock?" Bella asked me as she wrapped her arms around my waist.

"I saw him catch you when you tripped and I got a little jealous is all. Plus I missed you. You're not _too_ mad at me, are you?" I asked as I pulled out onto the street.

"A _little_ jealous, hmmm? Would you have rather he allowed me to land face first on the pavement?" Bella teased, but I could tell she wasn't mad. "I don't want to go home just let. Let's take a ride down Riverside Drive." Bella started running her fingers up and down my abs as we rode. I moaned loud enough I was certain she heard it over the noise of the engine. She pushed her hips against me and I could feel her heat pulse against my ass. I could smell her arousal and feel her desire washing over me.

"Bella…what are you doing, baby?"

"Just reminding you that I'm yours…" she purred as she ran a finger down the seam of my pants over my bulging erection and back up. I hit the throttle and the bike sped up. "…and you're mine." She cupped me into her palm and squeezed.

"Oh, darlin'…all yours." I bucked into her hand and the bike sped up a little more.

Bella unbuttoned my jeans with one hand and unzippered them just enough to reach inside. My hips bucked as she slid her hand under the waistband of my boxers and wrapped her hot fingers around my length. I revved the engine again, looking for anywhere remote to turn in as she began stroking me. Thank God there wasn't any traffic. If I were human, I would have crashed by now. As it was I was throbbing from her ministrations to the point of distraction. I found a riverfront park and turned in, slowing down and riding until I found a remote parking lot with no other cars or people around. I parked the bike and jumped off it to face Bella, immediately missing her touch. She threw her helmet off as I lifted her so she could sit sideways on the bike facing me with her legs on either side of my own . I took her face in my hands and kissed her, desperate for more. When she allowed me entry, I thrust my tongue in and out of her mouth and she moaned into me, sending vibrations throughout my body. My hand found its way between her legs and started stroking her roughly. My need for her was primal, and I could sense she was feeling the same way.

One last check to make sure no one was around, and I pulled down her jeans and panties below her knees and turned her around, bending her over the seat of the bike. I caressed her thighs and bottom. Bella moaned and lifted herself up under my hand so I could caress her sex. I slid two fingers inside her and she came instantly. "Oh God, Jasper!" I pulled my fingers out quickly and thrust myself inside her. Bella arched her back and held onto the bike for support while I grabbed her hips and pounded into her as hard as I dared, the image before me sending me to new heights. She came again, and as soon as her muscles clenched around me I released deep inside of her with a groan. As soon as we regained our senses, I pulled out of her carefully and we got dressed quickly, not wanting to get caught making love outside in a public park.

I took her hand and walked us to a picnic table by the water's edge. I sat down and pulled her into my lap. "I love you, Bella, Always and Forever." She laid her head on my shoulder and nuzzled into the crook of my neck.

"I love you, too, sweetheart." We sat there quietly for a while, watching the ducks on the river as the sun set behind the clouds, covering the sky in pinks and purples. We both sighed as it fell below the horizon.

"Come on, darlin', let's get you packed. The sooner I go hunt, the faster I'll have you back in my arms." Bella rubbed her nose to mine in an Eskimo kiss and hopped off my lap. "You wouldn't mind if I packed you a chastity belt, would you?" I teased. Bella rolled her eyes as she put on her helmet.

**A/N: I always give credit where credit is due. The motorcycle sex idea came from my good friend GiveUsAKiss413, to whom this chapter is lovingly dedicated. The Cullendales Tour, which now includes lap dances by our fine, fine men is now in Baltimore. Next stop -- Chicago! **

**A few of my stories have been nominated for Eddie and Bellie awards. A Lesson in Release has been nominated for Best Novel and the S. Meyer award for best grammar, punctuation and spelling. NCB, Inc. and Edward's Release were nominated for best multi-chapter smut. (*blushes*). Please go to http://www(dot) thecatt (dot) net/tw/Default (dot) aspx and cast your nominations, too! The stories with the most nominations move forward for the judge's consideration. You have until 1/25 to vote by nomination. THANKS!!!**


	6. Chapter 5: Music and Memories

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own Adrian, this storyline, and an awesome pair of fuzzy slippers.**

**A/N: Okay, I want you to do me a favor. Look up "Stay with Me" by Danity Kane. When you reach the part in this chapter where it's mentioned, play it while you read.**

**Edward's POV**

I had dinner almost ready when I heard Bella's truck pull up. I was glad it wasn't the motorcycle. I ran out to meet her so I could carry her luggage in for her. She had brought three bags so she could leave some clothes here. I grabbed them and showed her in.

"Let's get this stuff in your room, then I'll give you a tour of the rest of the house." I took her to the master bedroom and set the bags inside. "You can have this room, and Adrian can have the guest bedroom." Bella gasped as she looked around at the lavish bedroom. I caught a glance at the picture of us out of the corner of my eye. I should have put that away. Too late now.

"But which room is yours?" Bella looked back towards the hallway at the doors.

"Bella, I don't really need a bedroom. I have the whole rest of the house, including the study. As long as you're willing to share the closet with me, I'm all set." I flashed her a smile and tried dazzling her. It didn't work.

"No, Edward. Adrian and I can share the guest bedroom. It's not like we'll ever be here on the same night. I'm not going to kick you out of your bedroom in your own house."

I took Bella by the shoulders and turned her to look at me. This was important for her to understand. "This is your home, too, even if it is only once a week. I want you to have your own space, a room to make your own and feel comfortable in. Besides, you like this room; I could tell the moment you walked in." Bella sighed and her eyes swept the room once more.

"Okay, Edward. You win. It _is_ beautiful." Bella started roaming around the room, taking it all in. My hands missed the contact immediately. When she got to the nightstand with the picture, she picked it up and just stared at it. I walked over to take it out of her hand and she looked at me questioningly, the beginning of tears in her eye.

"I'm sorry. I meant to put that away. Esme put it there. When I questioned her, she said that she loved that picture because I was smiling in it, and she didn't want me to forget how to." I chuckled and tried to hide how sad that had made me. Esme was so worried I would return to how I was when I tried to leave Bella. I attempted to reassure her, but I wasn't sure how. I didn't want to admit my only reason for not falling apart again was because Bella was still in my life in some form. It wasn't a question of remembering how to smile. Smiling was my body's natural reaction to having Bella in close proximity.

"No, Edward, don't hide it on my account. Esme's right. I don't want you to forget how to smile, either." Bella smiled at me, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Alright. At least let me move it to the study. I don't want it to make you uncomfortable." Bella looked pained for a split second, but then it was gone. I got the impression that she wanted to say something, but didn't. She just nodded her head.

"Come on, your dinner is just about ready. Would you like a salad?" I sprinted into the kitchen and talked to her over the large island that divided the kitchen from the living room. She sat down on one of the stools on the living room side of the island.

"You cooked? You didn't have to go to all that trouble. I could have fixed myself something."

"It's no trouble, I wanted to. Besides, I didn't make the ravioli, I bought those at that little Italian grocery store we pass on our way home. The sauce, however, is mine, so you might want to test it before I pour it on your pasta." I took the wooden spoon I was using to stir the sauce and held it out to her. She slurped up a sip and my body involuntarily shuddered. I was thankful she didn't seem to notice. The shudder got worse when she closed her eyes and moaned.

"Mmmmmm, that is delicious Edward. Where did you learn to cook?"

"Food Network," I said simply. I fixed her a plate and set it in front of her. "What do you want to drink? I have milk…soda…red wine? The lady at the store said that it would go nicely." Bella took a bite.

"You bought me _mushroom_ ravioli?" I nodded. I couldn't quite read the expression on her face. "You know what, I think I will have a glass of wine. A small one, though." She shoved another forkful of food in her mouth and started looking around the room, trying not to make eye contact. Maybe the ravioli was a bad idea.

I poured her the glass and she took a large gulp before setting it down. She coughed a little when she swallowed it. It seemed like our nerves were getting the best of us, and I really hadn't meant for this to get so awkward. I picked up the remote for the stereo system and hit play, hoping to lighten the mood.

_The other day I saw a car, like you used to drive  
I got a funny feeling down deep inside  
For the briefest moment I felt a smile again  
Yes, I do think about you every now and then_

_I heard a song on the radio just yesterday  
The same one you always asked me to play  
And when the song was over I wish they'd play it again  
Yes I do think about you every now and then_

_Been laying here all night, listening to the rain  
Talking to my heart trying to explain  
Why sometimes I catch myself wondering what might have been  
Yes I do think about you every now and then_

"Garth Brooks, Edward?"

"Well, I thought you might enjoy it. You seem to listen to a lot of country music lately for some reason." I attempted to make the comment sound off-hand, but we both knew exactly where her newfound interest had come from. She raised her eyebrow at me knowingly and grabbed the remote.

"Yes, but you don't. Let's listen to something we both like."

"Alright, love. Why don't you just put it on shuffle and see what comes up." She flinched when I said 'love' and looked at me, her eyes silently pleading with me. "Sorry. Force of habit, I suppose." I shrugged and recorked the wine.

Bella hit the shuffle button on the remote.

_Please forgive me if I act a little strange  
For I know not what I do  
Feels like lightning running through my veins  
Every time I look at you, Every time I look at you_

Bella hit the fast forward button to skip to the next song.

_I know, you think that, I shouldn't, still love you  
I'll tell you that  
But if I didn't say it, I still would have felt it  
What's the sense in that?  
I promise I'm not trying to make this harder  
Or return to where we were_

_But I will go down with this ship  
I won't throw my hands up and surrender  
There will be no white flag above my door  
I'm in love, and always will be_

I realized what the problem was right before Bella hit the fast forward button again. It was shuffling only through the current playlist, not the entire library. It was the playlist titled "Bella." "Stay with Me" by Danity Kane started to play.

_Raindrops fall from everywhere  
I reach out for you but you're not there  
So I stood, waiting, in the dark  
With your picture in my head  
Story of a broken heart_

I ran to the iPod base and was reaching for it when Bella stopped me.

"No, let it play," she whispered softly.

_Stay with me, don't let me go  
'Cause I can't be without you  
Just stay with me and hold me close  
Because I built my world around you  
And I don't want to know what it's like without you  
So stay with me, just stay with me_

I turned slowly back to her and we locked gazes. Tears were falling down her face. I sat down on the stool next to her, afraid to touch her, afraid to speak.

_  
I'm trying and hoping for the day  
My touch is enough to take the pain away  
Cause I've searched for so long  
The answer is clear  
We'll be okay if we don't let it disappear_

_Stay with me, don't let me go  
'Cause I can't be without you  
Just stay with me and hold me close  
Because I built my world around you  
And I don't want to know what it's like without you  
So stay with me, just stay with me_

"I used to listen to this song, a lot, after you…left me," she cried.

_I've searched over and over  
So many, many times  
No you and I is like no stars  
To light the sky at the night  
Our picture hangs in my room  
Reminding me of the days  
You promised me, we'd always be  
And you would never go away  
That's why I need you to stay_

_Stay with me, don't let me go  
'Cause I can't be without you  
Just stay with me and hold me close  
Because I built my world around you  
And I don't want to know what it's like without you  
Just stay with me, just stay with me  
Stay…Don't Leave_

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I made so many mistakes." I hung my head, not knowing what else to say. This wasn't the way I wanted this evening to go. Suddenly I felt slender arms wrap around my neck as Bella hugged me to her. I tentatively put my arms around her waist and rested my head on her shoulder as we both drowned in our sorrows.

"I did, too, Edward. You know, I thought we were doing so well, these past several months. We've become such good friends and I thought all this was in the past. Maybe we've just been in denial." I felt Bella's tears land on my scalp and roll down the side of my face, settling in a puddle by my nose, but I couldn't wipe them away. I didn't want to move long enough to do it.

"I started reading your diary, Bella. I couldn't do it until now, but I started reading it and I just started thinking about you and all the regrets I have, and well, the music reflected my mood, I suppose."

Bella pulled away from me to look in my eyes, and my heart screamed at the loss of contact.

"You're just now reading it?"

"Yes. I couldn't before, not around…him. Besides, I wasn't ready to face what I might learn then. But I am now. If you're up to it, I would love to talk to you about it." Bella smiled profusely. I took her hand and led her to the couch, sitting as close to her as I could manage without having her in my lap.

"Okay, Edward, shoot. I'll answer any questions you have." Bella smiled, but scooted a little farther away from me, to what I supposed would be considered a respectable distance for friends.

"Promise?"

Bella nodded. "As long as you promise to do the same. I have a feeling this could lead to some very interesting conversations."

"I agree. Okay, hold on, let me get the book." I ran to the study and grabbed the book in record time. When I sat back down, I was careful to not invade Bella's personal space.

"First question. When did you have this done for me? This isn't the original, I'm certain. So when did you do it?"

Bella took a deep breath before answering. "I had it done a couple of months before we broke up."

"What made you give it to me anyway?"

"I don't know," she whispered, looking down. She was playing nervously with her necklace. I reached out tentatively and touched her chin. I didn't force her to lift her head, but I hoped the brief contact would give her the idea that I wanted to see her eyes. She looked up at me through her lashes.

"I am glad you did." Bella smiled a little. I opened the book to the first earmark.

"You highlighted things? And took notes in the margin?!" Bella stared at me, incredulous.

"Well…yeah," I said, embarrassed. "That's okay, isn't it?"

"Well, yes, of course. It's your book to do with as you please. It just surprises me, is all."

It surprised her that I would take this opportunity seriously? I decided to let that go for now. "The truck. First of all, I really need to apologize for every rude, obnoxious remark I ever said about that truck. I never realized what an emotional connection you had to it."

"Why did you hate it so much, Edward? I mean, I know it was old, and slow, and really loud, but…"

"At first, it was my vanity. I thought any girl of mine should have something shiny and new, something that said 'Edward Cullen loves me and spoils me rotten.' Although I did hate how slow it was, and I wanted you to have something safer. But once I realized that Jacob Black was the one who refurbished it; the truck became yet another tie to him in my mind, and I despised that. That was wrong of me. I was blind to not see how it epitomized Charlie's silent affections for you, and it was wrong of me to mock it so."

"Thank you," she said quietly. "I can see where the connection to Jacob would upset you. I honestly never thought of that."

"I am wondering, though, if perhaps you gave my mocking more weight than it deserved, love. I just want to make sure that when I said the truck was not good enough for you, that what you heard was not 'you're not good enough for me.' Did I make you feel that way, Bella?"

Bella's eyes welled up with tears, but she didn't shed them. "Yes, but not just because of the truck. And it wasn't all because of you, you can't put all that on yourself. It just never seemed possible that I would be good enough for you, that you would love me as much as I loved you."

"I think I'm just beginning to realize that you felt that way. According to your diary, you were occupied with thoughts about me from the first time we met. I was just as obsessed with you, too. If only we'd talked more, we might not have wasted so much time. We just both always seem to come to the worst possible conclusions, much to our detriment."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, for example, you felt the same electric current I felt the first time we touched in Biology class. But when you pulled away, you assumed I didn't feel it. I assumed you were repulsed by my cold skin. If only we'd have said something, we would have had at least two more months together. It might not seem like much," my voice lowered to the point I wasn't sure she would have heard me, "but I would give anything for two more months now."

"Edward…" Bella chastised me with a single word.

"You're right, I'm sorry." I shook my head to try and clear it before continuing. "Anyway, I never realized how strong your initial infatuation with me was. It was the same for me, you know. I was only staying away because I wanted to protect you."

"But that was always the problem, wasn't it, Edward? Your need to protect me always drove us apart, even before we were together, it seems." I didn't know how to reply to that, so I thumbed through the pages to the next earmark.

"Oh, yes, the accident. First of all, I am so sorry I made you feel the way I did. I don't want you, for one second, to ever, EVER think that I regretted saving you. It's just not true, Bella. I was worried for your safety, worried about protecting my family's secret, and was trying to explain away my own reasons for doing it, and I went about it entirely the wrong way. I should have trusted you the way I asked you to trust me. I shouldn't have attempted to make you doubt your own recollections, and I shouldn't have been so intentionally cruel and distant. Only now do I realize the trauma I inflicted upon you, and I can never apologize enough. I saved you because I loved you, and I would do it again a thousand times over. There were…certain members…of my family who did not approve of my actions that day. Who thought you were a risk to us. I was distancing myself from you because I thought at the time that it was the best way to keep you safe." Bella looked at her hands, which were wringing in her lap. I decided it was a good time to lighten the mood a little.

"Oh, and by the way, what's this about you ogling my dad at the emergency room?"

Bella looked up at me, confused. "Huh?"

"You were eyeing Carlisle at the emergency room! Your exact words were _Dr. Cullen (who is almost as gorgeous as his son)…_" I raised my eyebrow at her teasingly and Bella blushed a beautiful, furious shade of red.

"I forgot about that," she said, embarrassed. I laughed heartily and soon she was laughing along with me.

"Alright," I said, shutting the book with a thump. "I think we've had enough of this for one night. Hopefully we can talk about it a little more next week?"

Bella nodded with a chuckle. "It might require more wine."

"It might at that. Let's get our assignments completed, shall we?" An hour and a half later and we were finished with our schoolwork. Bella tried unsuccessfully to suppress a yawn. I stood and offered her my hand to help her up from the sofa.

"Bedtime for the human, I think." She rolled her eyes at me and yawned again before taking my hand and standing.

"Good night, Edward. Thank you for dinner."

"Good night, Bella. Sweet dreams." Bella disappeared into the bedroom. I listened intently as she went about her nightly routine, which I knew oh so well. How many nights had I waited for her in her room while she went through the same series of actions. First she brushed her teeth, then she washed her face. Next she used the facilities and changed her clothes. Finally, she would brush her beautiful hair until it was tangle free. That was the one I waited for, the sound of her setting her brush down on the counter. That was the point at which my angel would return to me. But not tonight. Not ever again. I heard the sheets ruffle as she got comfortable and drifted to sleep.

When I was certain she was sleeping, I snuck into her room and sat in the chair in the corner to watch her. She still looked like an angel when she slept, just as I had remembered. Her sleep was fitful; she tossed and turned. When she reached the point where she usually started talking, I got up to leave. My heart couldn't bear her moaning Jasper's name in her sleep. Not that I wouldn't still be able to hear it, but at least I wouldn't have to have the look on her face burned in my memory as she did. Just as I reached the door, Bella stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Edward…" my angel murmured, "Not again. Please, not again." _What does that mean? _Bella quit talking, but she was thrashing violently in her sleep. Without my biding, my body made its way to the bed and I laid down beside her. Instantly, she molded her body to mine and my arms wrapped themselves around her as she laid her head on my chest and ceased stirring. Did she know I was there? In her dreams, was it Jasper laying next to her? I couldn't bring myself to care one way or another. I was enveloped in her warmth and it was like it used to be when I thought our bodies were two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together. I kissed her forehead and my lips seemed glued to her skin, I couldn't pull away.

While she slept, I thought about what I was doing and what had happened tonight. Bella was right, we had done a good job of being 'friends' these last several months. I was never in denial, though. I knew exactly what I was doing. I was putting her happiness before my own and staying as close to her as possible the only way I knew how, by playing the part of her best friend. By pretending I didn't still love her with every cell in my being. By hiding my love, my pain, my misery, my jealousy. Not just because of the rules Bella had instilled, but because it was the only way to maintain my sanity. But it seemed the walls I had so carefully built had come crashing down tonight. The only question is, where do we go from here? How do I act around her? Does she still want me to keep the fascade, play the part? I decided that is exactly what I would have to do, for now. At least, except for our weekly discussions. Then I would bare my soul to her; I would let my guard down and let her have a glimpse into my mind and heart, if only for a few hours.

I stayed there with her, breathing in her scent, until she showed the first signs of waking, then slunk my arm out from under her and escaped before she knew I was there. I busied myself with preparing her breakfast – coffee, freshly squeezed orange juice, french toast with caramelized bananas, and bacon. Just as the french toast was ready, Bella drowsily made her way to the island. She tried to sit on one of the stools, but wasn't quite awake enough yet, and almost hit the floor when she missed the seat. I ran around to catch her, and we both gasped a sharp intake of breath when we found our faces inches away from one another.

"Good morning, beautiful," I said as I sat her down on the stool and made my way back into the kitchen.

"I don't think you should be calling me that, Edward." She might as well have been stabbing my heart, but I wouldn't tell her that.

"It is your name, isn't it?" I teased as I put her plate in front of her. "Eat." After Bella had moaned in the same delicious manner as she had last night, I quickly decided that cooking was my new favorite hobby. "Bella, as painful as it was in parts, I really enjoyed our conversation last night. Do you think we could continue it next week?"

"Yeah, sure. Just keep the wine handy. Mind driving me to school today? I don't think Jasper's back yet and I misplaced my parking pass."

"It would be my pleasure." Every moment with Bella was a treasure, and I would never miss an opportunity to spend time with her ever again.

**A/N: The Cullendales have left Chicago and are heading for Kansas City! Free lap dance by the Naked Cullen Boy of your choice to the 100th reviewer for this chapter...aww, heck, lap dances for ALL my reviewers! Today is the last day for nominations for the Eddie and Bellie awards. Remember -- YOUR NOMINATION IS YOUR VOTE! The link is on my profile, as is the list of songs on Edward's playlist...**


	7. Chapter 6: Alice and Adrian

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do however, own Adrian, this storyline, and Lego Batman for Wii.**

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my new beta, readingtime, who really helped Adrian come to life for me in this chapter. I love you, bb, hard core. Oh, and lemon alert! If you have to slam down the laptop screen 'cause the boss or the kids walk in, don't blame me. Enjoy!**

**Adrian POV**

I looked over at Ally, who was frantically going through her closet looking for God only knows what, and I couldn't help a smile. _How did I get so lucky? My life is completely different than it was a year ago in so many ways, some of them so strange and magical that it defies all logic_. Not that I would trade a thing, not in a million years. I thought I had my future all planned out when I lived in Phoenix. I was going to finish high school and go to Arizona State on a full football scholarship, win the Heisman, and get drafted into the NFL. Moving to Forks had messed that all up, and the only good thing I saw coming out of moving there was getting to hang out with Bella again. Who would have thought that I would end up at Ohio State, living with the love of my life, who also happens to want to suck my blood dry every now and then, her ex-husband, and Bella. Crazy. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Alice stopped short for a moment, then shook her head and went back to what she was doing.

"Another vision, Ally?" She nodded her head but didn't turn around. She didn't have visions about my future, which in a way was kind of a bummer. I would have liked to know if I was going to win Saturday's game, for example. I was the only freshman starting quarterback in the Big 10, and there was a lot of pressure on me to take the team to the National Championship. And win. More immediately, I was worried about playing in that huge stadium, on national television, for the first time. It would be nice if Ally could just take a peek and make sure I wasn't going to make a fool of myself. On the other hand, I get to surprise her, just like any other boyfriend in a normal relationship, not that our relationship was remotely normal. From what Jasper told me, she hadn't been surprised in a century before she met me. I liked that I could do that for her.

"Well, I know it isn't about me," I teased. Ally looked back and rolled her eyes at me.

"No, silly. It was about Edward and Bella." Her face was drawn, sadness and stress seemed to be dancing across her features.

"Is everything okay? You told Jasper everything would be okay. Has anything changed?" Now I was concerned. Bells has always been like a sister to me, practically from the day we met. If he did anything to hurt her, I will attach a car bomb to his Volvo and roast marshmallows over the flames.

Alice sat down next to me on the bed. "I don't want you to think I regret the choices I've made, because if things hadn't happened the way they did, we might never have gotten together. Then again, maybe we would have anyway, I don't know. But the whole fiasco with Bella and Jasper last year taught me something. I had a vision of Jasper going to Bella's. Because of that vision, I _told_ him to go to Bella's. If I hadn't said anything, he may never have gone. Two months later and both couple's relationships were in ruins. If I hadn't reacted to that vision the way I did, who knows what would have happened. Edward and Bella might still be together. It made me realize that maybe the future should be left to figure itself out. So unless it's something silly like Bella's luggage or something serious, like life and death serious, I'm going to keep my visions to myself from now on. Does that make sense?" Ally looked at me imploringly.

"I can understand that. Really I can. On the other hand, that might be a huge burden to bear on your own. You know that you can always tell me anything, and if you don't want me to do anything about what you see, I won't. Unless, like you said, it's life or death." Ally kissed me then. I have never gotten used to that feeling; cold, firm lips pressed against mine that sent electric tingles down my spine.

"I love you, Adrian. You always know exactly what to say to make me feel better." That was another thing about Ally. She was incredibly easy to please.

"Just doing my job. Now, you want to tell me what this latest vision was about? You seemed really troubled by it." I hated that about her visions. They often had a very negative effect on her.

"Edward is going to sneak into Bella's bedroom tonight to watch her sleep. When she has a nightmare, he's going to crawl in bed with her and hold her. She won't wake up, won't know he was there. I don't know how I feel about it. He's been a complete gentleman in every other way, and they are going to have a good talk about how much they both messed things up when they were together. I know he is trying to comfort her, but I got the impression there was more to it than that. It's making the future all fuzzy and I don't like it." _Neither do I_. Suddenly I was wishing I hadn't just promised her not to interfere.

"Ally, are you sure you don't want to call him and stop him? Bella can protect herself when she's awake, but not when she's asleep. I mean, it's kinda creepy, don't you think?" _Bastard. Who does he think he is? Can't he just accept defeat and move on, find himself some other human to stalk in the middle of the night? _Alice seemed to consider this for a moment before shaking her head.

"Yes, I agree with you the way Edward sneaks into her room to watch her sleep is creepy. He suggested I do that to you, to get used to your scent when we first met, and I wouldn't do it without your permission. But on the other hand, Edward is my brother, more so than Emmett or even Jasper. We have always been close and truth be told I feel guilty in a way for messing up his relationship with Bella. I'm not going to make the same mistakes again. Their lives are their own and what they do is their business. He made mistakes, we all did, but the bottom line is he loves her more than life itself, and in the end he just wants to see her happy. That's why he's here with us, torturing himself on a daily basis. He's not going to do anything to hurt her."

"Okay, Ally, as long as you're not worried about it, I won't be either." _I'm going to keep my eyes open for trouble, though, that's for sure._

"I'm more worried about not wasting one more minute of our evening together." Ally attacked me then, pushing me down on the bed and straddling my hips before I even had a chance to blink. I was immediately aroused, and Ally's eyes went dark. She sat perfectly still, like a statue above me. I knew what this meant, and I knew what to do. Don't move. Don't touch her. Try not to breath heavy or let my pulse race. She was struggling with her bloodlust. You learn a lot about human anatomy you never thought of when you're dating a vampire. Like when a guy gets aroused, the blood really does rush to his member. That was always the hardest part for her. Once she got control, she was okay. I know I should have been scared shitless by this whole thing, but I wasn't. I loved her, and it was just part and parcel to the whole singer/vampire thing in my book. _Four more years and it won't matter anymore. She'll turn me and we'll get married and be together for eternity_. I loved the sound of that.

When Ally bent down to kiss me again, I knew it was okay to touch her. I ran my hands up and down her back as she deepened our kiss, carefully covering her teeth as she did. Being with Ally was unlike any other girl I'd ever been with. I lifted her camisole up over her head and tossed it to the floor.

"You are so beautiful, Ally, my angel," I whispered with reverence as I reached to caress her. Her body was so hard and cold, like marble, but it would warm slightly under my touch. As I stroked her pert nipples with my thumbs, Ally threw her head back and mewled. My erection twitched at the sweet sound.

I lifted my head and she bent down to meet me so I could take her nipple in my mouth. Her skin tasted so good, no traces of salt or sweat, just…her. It never failed to amaze me how her nipples could become even harder than usual under my tongue. Ally grabbed my hair gently and pulled my head closer to her, silently begging me for more as I nipped and nibbled her peak. I kissed a trail across her chest and sucked the other nipple into my mouth as well. Ally moaned and the passion ignited between us. I pushed on her shoulder to let her know I wanted us to change positions and she complied. That part had taken some getting used to, being so much physically weaker than her. It was a shot to my ego at one time, but I've gotten used to it.

Once we'd rolled over I quickly shed my t-shirt and boxers before removing her black lace panties. I kissed my way up her legs, pausing to run my tongue along the back of her knees before throwing her legs over my shoulders as I kissed up her thigh and approached her core. Seeing her spread before me, glistening and throbbing, always took my breath away. We hadn't been able to do this at first. Ally had been too afraid that her venomous arousal juices would cause me harm, but a call to her girlfriends in Denali had set her mind at ease. Now it was my favorite thing in the world to do, even over football.

Ally's lower lips were by far the softest part of her body, if infinitesimally so. Licking her juices always made her scream and buck against me. They were so sweet, and would make my mouth a little numb and tingly, like novocaine only without the shot. I sucked her clit into my mouth and Ally began panting, which I thought was funny considering she didn't need to breathe. I chuckled against her skin and the panting became harder. I slid two fingers inside of her, massaging the firm flesh within her as I stroked in and out, licking and sucking her clit as I went. It wasn't long before Ally was screaming my name as her orgasm flashed through her. Her juices coated my now numb fingers when I removed them. I kissed her folds one more time before crawling up her body and aligning myself at her entrance.

"I wish I could return the favor," Ally said a little sadly in between kisses. We both agreed that until I was changed, it was better to be on the safe side and keep her teeth a safe distance away from my junk. Even though the Denali sisters had reassured her it would be fine, I was her singer, and I wasn't taking any chances. That area was most definitely NOT the place I wanted the burn to begin when the time came. Nope, Ally's pretty mouth will unfortunately remain a junk free zone until I'm a vamp.

Ally was so tight and her body being the way it was, was somewhat unyielding to me when we made love, so I would have to go slowly until I was able to sheath myself completely inside her. Once fully inside her, however, I could pick up the pace. Her cool flesh around me never failed to increase my arousal and I soon found myself pounding into her passionately, holding onto her hips for support. As I approached my release, I felt Ally's walls clench around me. It was always a little painful, but not unbearably so. In fact, it usually served to make me come even harder, and tonight was no exception. "Oh God, Ally-Angel, you feel so good!" I grunted loudly as we both fell over the edge together.

When it was over, I rolled onto my back and pulled her snug against me. I pulled the blankets on top of us and kissed her head as I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. "Love you, baby."

"Love you, too," she whispered.

**A/N: The Naked Cullen Boys have taken the Cullendales Revue to Los Angeles! Backstage passes to the VIP room for all my reviewers...It's like Studio 54 back here, you don't want to miss it!**


	8. Chapter 7: Confession

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own Adrian, this storyline, and the big screen TV my hubby is currently glued to.**

**A/N: First of all, huge apologies to my fabulous beta, readingtime, for posting this before she had a chance to review it. My forum ladies were anxious for an update and begging me for something to read while their significant others were watching the Super Bowl. **

**Jasper's POV**

I had never hated hunting to so much in my life. Even though we were on the outskirts of town and near a park, it wasn't as though it was exactly teaming with wildlife. But the bigger problem was that even during the hunt, when my senses should have overtaken everything else, all I could think about was Bella. At _Edward's_. I tried to control my apprehension and jealousy, but was finding it more and more difficult. I briefly considered trying to sneak by his house to see what they were up to, but I didn't. For one thing, I promised myself, and Bella too, for that matter, that I would trust her. For another thing, Edward would know I was there; he would hear my thoughts. Over the years, the family had learned to block some of our thoughts from him by replacing them with other, more mundane thoughts, but he still heard _something_ from our minds, even if we managed to hide what it was we were trying to keep private. Even Carlisle, who was better at it than any of us, admitted that he had yet to find a way to keep his mind utterly blank from Edward. Either way, I stayed away.

Instead, I tried to focus on our upcoming date night. Bella and I had not really been able to go on many actual dates. Actually, come to think of it, I don't think we had actually gone on one. It was always a group thing with Alice and Adrian or Angela and Ben. We'd never actually had a real, romantic night out just the two of us. I was getting more excited about it by the minute. As I tracked down a deer and a red-tailed fox, I thought about what song I was going to sing to her on Friday. I wanted it to be perfect, and I had three days to get everything in order.

I ran back to the house to shower and change before heading to school. I noticed that both her bike and the truck were in the garage. Bella must have gotten a ride with someone. I was hoping it was Adrian, but I doubted it. I texted Bella while getting my books together.

_B – Missed you darlin'. Where are you? – J_

I beamed when it took less than a minute for her to reply.

_J – Missed you more. In Biology w/Edward. Meet me outside Independence Hall in 10? – B_

I quickly replied before hopping on the bike.

_B – With Open Arms – J_

Unfortunately, the stadium lot was full, so I had to park in the "C" lot all the way on the other end of campus. I went behind the buildings so I could run at vampire speed. The only people I saw were a young couple making out against a dumpster. Hopefully they didn't notice anything except the sharp breeze that flew past them.

I got there just in time to see Bella and Edward emerge from the building, laughing. I tried to shove the little green monster aside, which was a lot easier to do once she noticed me standing there, as promised, with open arms. Bella ran up to me and gave me a big hug. I held her for dear life. Edward cleared his throat.

"Well, Bella, I'm taking off. I have a few things to do before our next class. See you two later." Bella smiled at him and I nodded my head in his direction as he walked away. I kissed Bella, soft but passionately, trying to convey without words everything I was feeling. Bella entwined her fingers in mine and we held hands as we headed for High Street to grab her some lunch. Tuesday and Thursday were our short days, we each only had two classes, with a long break in between. Bella settled on Taco Bell, which I thought smelled even worse than normal human food, but she liked it.

"So, what did you and Edward do last night?" I asked as we sat down, trying to sound casual. Bella looked contemplative, and I felt apprehension from her.

"Homework, and talked, mostly. He made me dinner," she said. Now she was nervous, and it was making me nervous, too.

"What about him making you dinner is making you feel so nervous?" I asked hesitantly.

"Well, to be honest, it's not the dinner that I'm nervous about. Something Edward said to me last night is bothering me and I want to ask you about it later, but I think I should probably wait until we get home. As far as dinner goes, he made me mushroom ravioli, which was what I ate on our first date. It kind of freaked me out at first, but I realized it was innocent. He was just trying to do something nice." I couldn't help it. I growled. Bella's eyes grew wide and I forced myself to calm down before replying.

"Bella, I really don't think that's appropriate, do you? Maybe this arrangement is not such a good idea after all."

"Jasper, really, I'm only telling you because I want to be honest with you. It was fine, I handled it. He was a total gentleman." The nervousness was still there, coming off her in waves.

"What did he say that is bothering you so much?" I tried to change the subject. Now a slight amount of fear was mixed in with the nervousness.

"He said that," she leaned in closer to me so she could whisper in my ear, "that after he saved me from Tyler's truck, he stayed away from me to keep me safe from your family. He said that some of you were not happy he saved me and saw me as a risk to you. Who saw me as a risk, Jasper? Did someone actually want to hurt me because I saw Edward save me?"

_Shit._ I can't believe he told her that. I didn't know whether to be angry at him for saying anything, or shocked that he hadn't told her it was me. The overwhelming emotion, however, was fear. I hadn't thought of that day in so long. I hadn't intentionally hid it from her, it had just never occurred to me. _What do I do now? How am I supposed to look in the eyes of the woman I love and tell her that once upon a time I had made plans to kill her? Plans I was very set on going through with if Alice hadn't stopped me_. _Shit_.

"You're right, Bella. This is a discussion best left for home." I know I probably sounded a little cold, and it wasn't how I intended for it to come out, but my mind was racing. I didn't know how to handle this.

"You know what, Jasper, my stomach is suddenly upset. I don't feel like going to my last class. Let's just go home now." I wasn't sure if she was really sick, or if she just wanted to finish the conversation. I wordlessly got up and followed her out the door. She didn't hold my hand, and her nervousness and fear were increasing moment by moment. She was afraid of the answer, and I was afraid of her reaction. But I would not lie to her. I would tell her the truth, and beg her to forgive me.

By the time we got home, she was visibly shaking. Damn Edward. Damn him to the very depths of hell. I picked her up, carried her into the house and set her down on the couch before taking her hands into my own.

"Bella, you need to understand that I didn't know you then. None of us really did. All that we knew was that Edward had exposed our secret to a complete stranger, and that posed a significant risk."

"I would never have said or done anything to endanger you!" Indignation and anger clouded her eyes.

I reached up and cupped her cheek in my palm. "We know that now, but we had no way to know that then. You know my background, I was a military strategist. My first reaction to a potentially hostile situation is always eliminate the most obvious threat." Bella pulled her hand away and jerked away from me. Shock, anger and fear overtook her as the realization set in.

"It was…you? I would have thought Rosalie, maybe, but _you_??? You were going to…kill me?!" Bella's hand flew in front of her mouth and the tears started flowing.

"I'm sorry, Bella. Rosalie and I were trying to protect our family. I would kill to protect them without a moment's hesitation. I would do the same for you, now. I have, in fact." My mind flashed briefly to James and Victoria. Their deaths left the world a better place.

"How?" She asked, scooting as far away from me on the couch as she could.

"How, what, exactly? How have I killed for you?"

"No. How were you going to kill…me?" This was tearing me apart, piece by piece. I couldn't believe I was having this conversation with Bella. I wondered if she would ever see me the same way again. She'd forgiven me for trying to attack her on her birthday, but that wasn't premeditated. It wasn't planned. I swallowed hard and looked down as I spoke softly, not really wanting her to hear what I had to say.

"I was going to make it quick and painless, if that helps. I was going to sneak into your room while you were sleeping and do it. My plan was to smother you in your sleep and then make it look as though you had sustained a more serious brain injury than they originally thought and hemorrhaged to death."

"What, you were going to scramble my brains, like shaken baby syndrome?"

"Something like that. I had actually thought of a dozen different scenarios, but that one seemed the most humane."

"Humane? Humane?! You came up with a dozen different ways to kill me, when I had done absolutely nothing wrong!" Bella got up off the couch and started backing away from me, but then suddenly collapsed on the floor in a heap. "How could you?"

"Bella, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. You've got to know that I am so grateful that Edward threatened to fight anyone who tried. Because of that, Alice talked me out of it and had Carlisle order Rosalie to leave you alone as well. I love you... I didn't know you then." I choked on the last sentence.

"Neither did Edward, really, but he saved my life anyway, and apparently not just by stopping that van. It seems he saved me again by standing in your way. Oh, God…" Bella curled up into a ball and started rocking back and forth. Her breathing was becoming rapid and shallow. She was hyperventilating. I picked her up off the floor and tried to ignore the spike of fear as I carried her into our bedroom. I laid her down and pulled the blankets over her. I wanted nothing more than to calm her fears, but considering the fact that it was me she seemed to be afraid of at the moment, I doubted she would appreciate it. I leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Bella, know that I love you more than life itself. I am sorry this hurt you, but hopefully you can understand my reasoning at the time. You don't need to fear me, Isabella. You know that. Your love has made me a better man." I started to walk away when she reached out and grabbed my hand. She still wasn't looking at me, though.

"Hold me. Sing to me." Bella whimpered through her tears. I slowly, carefully climbed on the bed and snuggled my chest against her back.

"Can I help calm you?" I asked. She nodded slightly, so I sent her calming waves of lethargy as I sang her a lullaby.

_They didn't have you where I come from  
Never knew the best was yet to come  
Life began when I saw your face  
And I hear you laugh like a serenade_

_How long do you wanna be loved?  
Is forever enough? Is forever enough?  
How long do you wanna be loved?  
Is forever enough? 'Cause I'm never never giving you up_

_I slip in bed when you're asleep  
To hold you close and feel your breath on me  
Tomorrow there'll be so much to do  
So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you_

_How long do you wanna be loved?  
Is forever enough? Is forever enough?  
How long do you wanna be loved?  
Is forever enough? 'Cause I'm never never giving you up_

_As you wander through this troubled world  
In search of all things beautiful  
You can close your eyes and you're miles away  
And hear my voice like a serenade_

Bella fell asleep and I held her as I finally allowed the dry sobs to wrack my body. Hours later she was still asleep when I heard Alice and Adrian come in. I kissed Bella's cheek and carefully closed the bedroom door on my way downstairs.

"Rough day, huh?" Alice asked as I walked into the living room.

"Did you see this coming?" I asked. She shrugged her shoulders noncommittally.

"I'm trying very hard to not look at your futures anymore. It causes more harm than good." Alice said. Adrian made a quiet exit into the kitchen to let us talk.

"That's not true. If it weren't for your visions, Bella and I wouldn't be together right now." Alice raised her eyebrow at me and I realized how insensitive that sounded. "I'm sorry, Alice, that didn't come out right."

"Don't worry about it. But I mean it, unless it's life or death, I'm keeping my visions to myself from now on." Alice crossed her arms in front of her chest for emphasis.

"Alright, Alice. And yes, it was a rough day. Edward told Bella about how Rosalie and I wanted to kill her after the accident. I don't understand what would have possessed him to say that to her."

"Well, if it's any consolation, it's probably better that it's out in the open now, isn't it? She'll forgive you, don't worry."

"I thought you were keeping your visions to yourself," I teased.

"I'm not saying that because of a vision. I'm saying that because I know my best friend. She loves you and won't be able to stay mad at you for long. She's just in shock, that's all. She needs a little time to process all that information. It had to have come as a shock to know that her boyfriend was almost responsible for her premeditated murder." I hadn't noticed Adrian come back in with a sandwich and a bottled water.

"You know, guys, it's more than a little weird to hear how nonchalant you two are about this whole thing. I mean, your family actually had a conversation discussing whether or not to kill an innocent human being. Forget that it was Bella, our Bella, for a moment. You were still talking about killing a human, in cold blood, who had done absolutely nothing to you. That's just wrong, you guys know that, right?" Adrian kissed Alice on the forehead to let her know he wasn't mad at her, and sat down on the couch, setting his food on the coffee table. I wanted to argue with him, but he was right, of course. Knowing Bella, that was probably bothering her more than anything. She was always arguing that we were the good guys, not monsters. But at that family meeting, we actually voted on whether or not to do a very monstrous thing. Somehow, I was going to have to find a way to earn back her trust. Not just in me, but all of us.

**A/N: The song he sang was 'Lullaby' by the Dixie Chicks. The Cullendales have finished Los Angeles and are making a quick stop in Hawaii! **


	9. Chapter 8: Lessons Learned

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own Adrian, this storyline, and a fantastic collection of cookbooks.**

**A/N: The songs sung at The Library, in case you want to listen along, are So Close by Jon McLaughlin, What About Now by Daughtry, and Lessons Learned by Carrie Underwood. Thanks as always to my beta, readingtime. She is better than chocolate.**

**Edward's POV**

Bella didn't show up to our last class. I thought about calling or texting her to make sure that she was alright, but I stopped myself. It wasn't my job to keep tabs on Bella anymore. If something was wrong, I would have gotten a phone call from Alice, I'm sure. So instead, I pulled out her diary and started reading again.

_March 3, 2005 -- Today was really strange. Edward decided to start talking to me again today. His first words to me after how many weeks of the cold shoulder – "It's not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant." Jerk. Then he proceeded to tell me he INTENTIONALLY caused the traffic jam yesterday to 'give Tyler his chance.' I really should have rammed his car yesterday. My truck would've won. Stupid, shiny Volvo owner. He makes my head spin. One minute he is calling me absurd, the next he's asking me if he can drive me to Seattle the day of the spring dance, saying he didn't think my truck could make it and making some crack about wasting finite resources. Then after I agree to go to Seattle with him, he tells me that it would be 'prudent' for us to not be friends, but that he's tired of staying away from me, whatever that means. Maybe he has multiple personality disorder. Ooh, there's a theory – different colored eyes for different personalities! Today they were the color of liquid honey. I like that color. Geez, I'm hopeless._

_He asked me to sit with him at lunch. Then he starts talking some nonsense about how if he's going to hell, he might as well do it thoroughly and how if I were smart, I'd avoid him. That one pissed me off. I may not be pretty, or rich, or popular, but I'm not stupid. I ended up going off on him about all his cryptic little comments and how I didn't understand how he could save my life under impossible circumstances one minute and turn into a total jerk the next. Then I go and tell him that I was trying to figure out what he is. I even go into the whole Bruce Wayne/Peter Parker analogy! Brilliant, huh? His response, when he got done laughing at me, was to suggest that he was the bad guy. I haven't figured out what he is yet, but there's just no way that's true, and I told him so. _

_He stole the lid from my lemonade that I had sitting on the table and started spinning it like a top, just staring at it while he told me he was skipping class 'cause it was healthy to ditch. I don't know if he was hoping I'd skip, too. The police chief's daughter doesn't ditch class. It would be like Angela cussing in public when her dad's the minister. You just know what not to get caught doing. _

_Then just when I thought my day couldn't get any weirder, we had blood typing in Biology. Blood typing! I just about passed out before I even got started. Mike was walking with me when I thought I was going to be sick. Of course, Edward shows up right then and picks me up like a Neanderthal and I was sure I was going to puke on him. He seemed to think it was funny that I fainted at the sight of someone else's blood. I asked him how he magically appeared at the perfect moment yet again and he said he was in his car listening to a CD. It was such a normal response, which coming from Edward seems utterly abnormal. _

_Edward flirted with Ms. Cope to get us out of last period, then dragged me to his car, literally, like by my coat collar, to drive me home. At first I was ticked because he was being so pushy and bossy, but then we ended up having another interesting conversation about our families and how I act older than my age. Then he had to go and mess it up. He said he is going camping at Goat Rocks, so he's not going to the beach with everyone this weekend, and asked me to try not to fall into the ocean or get run over. Stupid, beautiful, infuriating jerk._

I laughed to myself reading this passage. The night before was the first night I had snuck in her room and watched her sleep. The night she called my name in her sleep and begged me not to leave, just as I was about to do that very thing. The night when I realized I loved her, and I was going to make her mine. Not as a meal, not as a vampire. Just mine. She was so angry with me the next morning, and I guess I made it worse with the comment about her being unobservant. She apparently didn't hear the sarcasm in my voice. Bella was anything but unobservant.

I opened the desk drawer and pulled out the lemonade bottle cap from that lunch conversation. I clasped my fist around it as I thought back to that day. I wanted so much to tell her I loved her. Instead I insulted her intelligence. She thought it was odd that I would have been in my car listening to a CD? Funny, I actually was. Well, before I turned down the volume and started writing her lullaby, anyway.

I only dragged her to my car after the blood typing incident because I needed to be near her so desperately, even if only for a couple extra minutes. Plus I thought it would be good practice being alone in the car with her before the trip to Seattle. I shouldn't have been so forceful. I should have given her a choice. Hell, I had even threatened to drag her back if she'd made a run for it! I highlighted that section. What an idiot I was.

_March 5, 2005 – Went to First Beach with the gang today. Mike started a driftwood fire by the beach – the flames were blue! It was so pretty! I went to the tide pools with him, mainly to get away from Lauren, but also because I love the tide pools. Charlie used to take me there when I was a kid. I wonder if Edward likes tide pools?_

I skimmed past the rest of this entry. Just reciting the Quileute legends about us. Damn dogs.

_March 6, 2005 – I had a nightmare last night. Jacob was there, holding my hand and pulling me through the woods. Mike was following us, telling us to run. Then Jacob was gone and there was a huge reddish brown wolf in his place. Mike kept yelling that we needed to run, but I wasn't listening. Edward was there, at the edge of the woods, holding his hand out to me and telling me to trust him. He looked scary, but I went to him anyway, but all of a sudden the wolf attacked Edward and I woke up. It scared the daylights out of me. Not for me, for Edward. _

_I did a bunch of research on vampires today._ _I think Jacob might be right. I think they might be vampires. I took a walk in the woods to clear my head, and I decided I don't care. If I had the chance to be with Edward, I would take it. If he was going to hurt me, he'd have done it by now, instead of saving my life. At least some of his odd behavior makes more sense now._

Wow. That was some nightmare. I was hunting with Emmett that night, I wasn't there. Only Bella would have a nightmare about being alone in the woods with a werewolf and a vampire, and wake up afraid that the vampire could have been hurt. She really does have a heart of pure gold.

_Tuesday – March 8, 2005 – Holy Crow! Where do I even start??? I went to Port Angeles today with Jessica and Angela to help them pick out dresses for the dance. After they got their dresses, they wanted to walk by the bay for a while, but I wanted to find a decent bookstore, so I told them I would catch up with them at the restaurant. Bad Idea. I started daydreaming about Edward and managed to get myself lost in a bad part of town. I past by this group of four grimy guys and got scared, then I realized two of them were following me. They managed to herd me down a dark alley where the other two were waiting and they had me surrounded. I was trying to remember all the self-defense I'd learned, knowing it probably wasn't going to do me any good, when suddenly out of nowhere comes Edward my knight in shining armor, only with a silver Volvo instead of a white horse. _

_Edward insisted that we go to dinner, even though I told him I wasn't hungry. I'm not complaining, though. The waitress flirted with him the ENTIRE TIME we were there. I mean, seriously, subtle, much? I got him to admit he reads minds, and when I touched his hand to thank him for saving me, it was cold and hard as a rock, but wonderful all the same. It hurt me more than I should admit when he pulled away. He's a vampire. A vampire that drives like a lunatic, by the way. Anyway, when I told him that I knew what he was and that it didn't matter to me, he got angry. Really angry. Not because I figured it out, but because I told him it didn't matter! It broke my heart when he told me that it was a mistake to be alone with me. But then he promised to have lunch with me tomorrow. When he said sleep well, his face was so close to mine I could have kissed him. He smells so good, and his breath smells even better._

_Three things I am absolutely positive about now. 1) Edward Cullen is a vampire. 2) Part of him thirsts for my blood. 3) I am unconditionally in love with him._

Just thinking about those men made my nonexistent blood boil. At least justice had been served. Carlisle had seen to it. The only reason they were still alive was because Bella deserved someone who was not a murderer. Bella _really_ didn't like that waitress. She said I dazzled the girl. I couldn't have cared less. But when Bella said I dazzled _her_ as well, that I very much cared about. That was the night she told me she knew. I laughed when I remembered her saying I was crabbier when my eyes were dark, that's how she knew when I was hungry. I shouldn't have pulled away from her when she touched me. I hadn't wanted too, it felt so wonderful, but I was afraid she'd be repulsed by me. She told me to trust her. I should have listened. When she said it didn't matter, I'd actually considered having Carlisle commit her. Her brain obviously had something wrong with it. But I heard the sadness in her voice when I told her it was a mistake to be alone with her. It gave me hope. It made me realize that in spite of everything, she wanted to be with me. Me. When I realized that Bella loved me too. Even then, though, I thought there was no way her love for me could possibly compare to mine for her. From the day we'd met, I'd underestimated Bella, in every way. I'd made her cry that night, one of many. But in the end, it was the happiest day of my life. Bella knew what I was, and she loved me anyway!

Now, I wondered if I would ever get that feeling back, that joyful exuberance that I only felt when basking in the warmth of Bella's love. A love that I would never take for granted again. A love that I now know was every bit as overpowering and all-consuming for her as it was, is, for me. Is it too much to hope that maybe, just maybe, she'll remember that feeling, that she could love me like that again?

Bella and Jasper were back in school the next day. Jasper gave me a look that could kill, but said nothing, humming "Yankee Doodle" in his head over and over. Bella looked sad, worn out. I tried to find out what was wrong once we got to class, but she didn't want to talk about it. Thursday was much the same. I had no idea what was bothering them. I'd even asked Alice and Adrian, who politely told me to butt out. Friday they seemed a little peppier. I'd like to say I was happy about it, and I was glad that Bella seemed happier. Was it completely wrong of me to hope there was trouble in paradise? I supposed it was. I tried to push that thought out of my mind.

Adrian came over in the late afternoon. Like Bella, he had brought three suitcases worth of clothing. He'd also brought a framed picture of him and Alice at his state championship game from last year to set by the bed.

"Welcome to Hotel Edward," I said, only it sounded much less welcoming to him than it had to Bella, I'm sure. After I set his bags down inside the guest bedroom, I went back to reading Bella's diary. It was the only thing I figured would get my mind off the fact that Adrian was here, which meant Bella and Jasper were there, alone. No wonder he was in a better mood today, I thought a little sourly. I was highlighting a passage I wanted to talk to her about when I noticed him standing in the entryway, leaning against the doorframe. He was shaking his head at me.

"I can't believe I'm doing this, Edward, but you need to get out of the house, man. Come on, put the guidebook down. I'm gonna grab a bite to eat, why don't you come with me?" I considered his request for a moment and decided that maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. We hopped in the Porsche and headed for High Street.

As soon as we got out of the car, I smelled them. Bella and Jasper were here, somewhere nearby. "Come on, I hear that they serve a mean burger at The Library, and it's open mike night. That ought to be good for a laugh. Too bad I've got a game tomorrow, I could use a beer. Hell, I've even got a designated driver already." Adrian laughed as if that were the funniest joke in the world. When we walked in the door, the scent increased. I found them sitting at a table near the stage just as Jasper was getting up to…sing?

"Holy shit, I'm sorry, man, I had no idea that they were going to be here. Let's just go, I can get a burger anywhere." Adrian grabbed my elbow and tried to usher me out, but I was stuck in place. Then Bella turned around and saw us. She smiled and started waving frantically.

"Hey guys! Hurry up! Jasper's just getting ready to sing!" Jasper turned around at her voice and scowled at me. _Go Home_, he thought. But Bella was already up and out of her seat, taking Adrian and I each by the hand to drag us back to the table. _Fine. I've been wanting to 'talk' to you anyway._ Adrian sat next to Bella and I sat across from her as Jasper took the stage.

_You're in my arms  
And all the world is gone  
The music plays along for only two,  
So close, together, and when I'm with you,  
So close to feeling alive _

_A life goes by  
Romantic dreams must die,  
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew  
So close was waiting, waiting here with you,  
And now forever I know,  
All that I want is to hold you, so close_

_So close to reaching that famous happy end  
Almost believing this one's not pretend  
Now you're beside me and look how far we've come  
So far we are so close_

_How could I face the faceless days if I should lose you now  
We're so close to reaching that famous happy end  
Almost believing this one's not pretend  
Let's go on dreaming, though we know we are, so close  
So close and still so far._

I could tell from Jasper's thoughts, which filtered through while he sang, that he and Bella had a fight and he was afraid, now more than ever, of losing her. Every insecurity he had came to the forefront. He was afraid she was finally seeing him for the monster he felt he was, afraid that he had lost her trust, afraid of the friendship she and I developed. He chose this song because he needed her to tell him that it was going to be alright, and she wasn't going to leave him…_for me_.

Does this mean there's a chance she still feels something for me? Is it possible he knows something that I don't? My mind was swimming with the possibilities. If that were the case, what should I do? I didn't want to overstep my bounds, I couldn't bear to lose what little of her I had left, but what if I could have it all again? It seemed too good to be true, and by the way Bella kissed him when the song ended, it would seem that it was.

Jasper sat down at the table and glared at me. _You and I need to have a little conversation, brother_. The waitress came over and took Adrian and Bella's orders. Jasper and I each ordered a coke for appearances sake. The DJ was asking for someone else to come up and take the mic, but he didn't seem to have any volunteers.

"Edward, why don't you sing a song? I haven't heard you sing in ages. Adrian, I'll bet you didn't even know Edward could sing, did you?" Bella sounded so excited about the idea.

"Ummm…no, I guess I didn't," Adrian replied awkwardly.

I thought about it for a long, hard moment. Finally, I decided I would sing a song that would hopefully let Bella know that if there was a chance, I wanted to take it. Hopefully, if it was all in my imagination, it wouldn't cause any issues. _Here goes nothing_. I stood on stage and looked only at Bella. I blocked everyone else from my mind, so that the only things left were the two of us.

_Shadows fill an empty heart  
As love is fading from all the things we are  
But are not saying  
Can we see beyond the scars  
And make it to the dawn?_

_Change the colors of the sky  
And open up to  
The ways you made me feel alive  
The ways I loved you  
For all the things that never died  
To make it through the night  
Love will find you_

_What about now?  
What about today?  
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?  
What if our love had never went away?  
What if it's lost behind  
Words we could never find  
Baby before it's too late  
What about now?_

_The sun is breaking in your eyes  
To start a new day  
This broken heart can still survive  
With a touch of your grace  
Shadows fade into the night  
When I am by your side  
My love will find you_

_What about now?  
What about today?  
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?  
What if our love had never went away?  
What if it's lost behind  
Words we could never find  
Baby before it's too late  
What about now?_

_Now that we're here  
Now that we've come this far  
Just hold on  
There is nothing to fear  
For I am right besideyou  
For all my life  
I am yours_

Bella had tears in her eyes. _What does that mean_? I took a deep breath and focused on suppressing my feelings again as I approached the table. Jasper jumped up and grabbed me by the collar as soon as I got close. There was murder in his eyes. "Come on, little brother, it's time you and I had a little talk." Bella's eyes grew wide and we were starting to gain attention, so I willingly allowed him to lead me outside.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Jasper asked as he not-so-gently threw me against the wall.

"What are you talking about?"

"First your little slip on Monday and now this. You think I don't see right through you, huh? Can't you just accept defeat and move on?" I was truly confused. I understood him being upset about the song, but what else was he talking about?

"What slip? Jasper, I really don't know to what you are referring, but I would appreciate it if you would take your hands off me." I was trying to stay calm, Bella wouldn't like me hurting him, but I wasn't going to put up with this, either. After all the agony he'd put me through, I hadn't raised a finger to him. He let go and took a step back.

"What I mean, Edward, was you telling Bella that Rosalie and I had voted to kill her the night of the car accident." Jasper growled at me, looking more truly like a vampire than he had in a very long time.

"Jasper, first of all, I never told her that it was you and Rosalie, I only told her that some members of the family didn't agree with me saving her and saw her as a risk, and that I stuck around afterwards to make sure she was safe. Why, what happened?"

"Oh, nothing much," Jasper sneered. "Bella just wanted to know who in our family would want to hurt her, so I had to try and explain to her why I wanted to kill her. It made for a lovely evening, let me tell you. She is devastated, and I think the only reason she came with me tonight was because we'd been planning it since we got here and she didn't want to let me down. I don't know if she's ever going to trust me again now, and I get the sneaking suspicion that was _exactly_ the response you were hoping for."

"Jasper, honestly, it was one small part of a much larger discussion. I'm surprised she focused on that at all. I'm not going to try and sabatoge your relationship. All I was doing was answering Bella's question as truthfully as possible. I'm done with lying to her, Jasper. I've learned my lesson."

Jasper seemed to ponder this for a moment. I let down my guard so he could feel my sincerity. "Alright, but what about that song choice, huh? You can't tell me that was just coincidental, too."

"Jasper, I love her just as much as you do, if not more. I am trying to be her friend, and I am trying to be supportive of your relationship with her because it makes her happy. On the other hand, I'm not going to lie and say that if she ever gave me a second chance, I'd turn it down. Maybe I shouldn't have sung that song, it obviously upset her, and you as well, which was not my intention."

"She loved it." He mumbled so quietly I wasn't sure I heard him right. Jasper looked in my eyes and I swear if he could cry, he would have been. I was jumping up and down on the inside, and felt a little guilty about it.

"Please, Edward. I know I'm a total hypocrite for saying this, but please, don't take her away from me. I love her. I need her." His voice broke on the last sentence. I understood his feelings completely. I felt the exact same way.

I clapped my hand on his shoulder. "Come on, we've left her alone in there long enough. I'm sure Adrian is fighting the guys off with a baseball bat by now." Jasper chuckled. I gave him a hug and we went inside. My jaw about hit the floor. Bella was on stage, singing.

"I didn't know Bella could sing."

Jasper gave me a sideways glance. "There's a lot about Bella that you never took the time to find out." We sat down at the table and Adrian eyed us warily.

"You two's little pissing contest was getting Bella really upset. I told her to go sing so she could get her mind off it." He was scowling at both of us. At least it wasn't just at me. I focused my attention on Bella, entranced. Her voice sounded so beautiful.

_There's some things that I regret  
Some words I wish had gone unsaid  
Some starts that had some bitter endings  
Been some bad times I've been through  
Damage I could not undo  
Some things I wish I could do all over again_

_But it don't really matter  
When life gets that much harder  
It makes you that much stronger  
Oh, some pages turned, some bridges burned,  
But there were lessons learned_

_And every tear that had to fall from my eyes  
and every day I wondered how I'd get through the night  
Every change life has thrown me  
I'm thankful for every break in my heart  
I'm grateful for every start_

_Some pages turned, some bridges burned,  
But there were lessons learned_

_There's mistakes that I have made  
Some chances I just threw away  
Some roads I never should have taken  
Been some signs I didn't see  
Hearts that I hurt needlessly  
Some wounds that I wish I could have one more chance to mend  
But it don't make no difference, the past can't be rewritten, you get the life you're given_

_Some pages turned, some bridges burned,  
But there were lessons learned_

_And every tear that had to fall from my eyes  
and every day I wondered how I'd get through the night  
Every change life has thrown me  
I'm thankful for every break in my heart  
I'm grateful for every start_

_All the things that break you are all the things that make you strong  
You can't change the past cause it's gone, you've just gotta move on  
Because it's all lessons learned_

Maybe Bella was trying to tell me something, too. It seems she's learned from her mistakes, and has regrets, just like me. I'm just now starting to learn about the mistakes I'd made. On the other hand, I need to live in the present if I'm ever going to get the chance to have my Bella back in my arms again.

**A/N: So did you like it??? The Cullendales have left Hawaii and are heading for Inverness, Scotland! Who knows where the Naked Cullen Boys will show up next... **


	10. Chapter 9: Custom Tailored Pants

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own Adrian, this storyline, and an American Idol Karaoke game that gets way too much use. This one's for iloveeverythingtwilight. Love you, darlin'. Thanks as always to the best beta in the world, readingtime.**

**Jasper's POV**

Edward looked positively enchanted when he heard Bella singing. "There's a lot about Bella that you never took the time to find out." It was the truth. I don't think he ever really knew who Bella was. He wasn't in love with the real Bella, he was in love with the _idea_ of Bella, and apparently still is. It didn't escape my observation that when in a moment of weakness I had asked Edward to back off and not try and steal her away from me, he didn't answer.

"You two's little pissing contest was getting Bella really upset. I told her to go sing so she could get her mind off it." He was scowling at both of us. Adrian was the only human besides Bella that I have ever met with such a huge capacity for love. The love that Adrian has for Bella was so fierce, so untainted. They were closer than brothers or sisters, closer than best friends, and yet purely platonic. Adrian has always made it perfectly clear that no matter what, when it all boils down to it, he was Team Bella all the way. I respected him so much for that. His love for Alice astounded me, too. I always felt like the love I had for Alice was so strong. Now, knowing the true extent of his love for her, knowing the love I feel for Bella, I have realized just how much Alice and I were shortchanging each other. I am lucky that I get to love Alice the way Adrian loves Bella, and it just feels right.

I turned my attention back to Bella. She had such a beautiful singing voice. I reminded myself to ask Adrian exactly how he conned her up there, though. Even if she was upset at us, she hated attention. It was an interesting song choice, one that could be interpreted several ways. My hope was that it was her way of telling Edward that he needed to move on. Her emotions weren't giving me any vital information. She was definitely pissed, and felt incredibly guilty. Of course she would blame herself for our fight. When the song was over, I gave her a standing ovation. Adrian and Edward joined me, and the rest of the crowd gave her a rousing round of applause as well. She blushed furiously and scurried off the stage. I held my arms out to her to give her a hug, and she didn't refuse, but it was a quick, cursory hug, nothing more, then she sat down next to Adrian and started playing with a packet of sugar. Adrian rubbed her back and she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. We all sat in awkward silence for a few moments before their food arrived. Bella ate a couple bites of her burger and pushed the plate away.

"Jasper, I'd like to go home now, please." We all stood and Adrian gave her a kiss on the cheek before giving me a warning look. I put my hand on the small of her back and led her out of the bar, grateful to be away from Edward, and at the same time angry that he had managed to ruin our evening so completely.

**Edward's POV**

_If he doesn't fix this tonight, I am seriously going to have Alice kick his ass, _Adrian thought as he watched Jasper and Bella leave. The moment they were out the door, he issued his venom on me.

"What the hell are you playing at, Edward? First you tell her that Jasper_…" Better do this in my head. Anyway, first you tell her that Jasper wanted to kill her, what, three years ago, before he even knew her. You knew she'd be devastated. I think you were trying to put a wedge between them, that's what I think. Well, it's not going to work. Then that song. You must have to get your pants custom made with balls that big. She was in tears, Edward. She's been in tears all week, as a matter of fact. This date was supposed to cheer her up, not make it worse. I would never have brought you here if I'd have known where they were going. Especially if I knew you were going to pull this shit._

"Are you finished?" Adrian nodded and took another bite of his burger.

"I didn't tell Bella it was Jasper. She asked me a question, and I answered it honestly. I even made a point to not tell her who it was. She asked Jasper, and he told her the truth. It wasn't meant to hurt her. And as for the song…I love her, Adrian." His eyes narrowed to angry slits. "I do. I know I made mistakes, many, many mistakes, but I wanted her to know that I still love her and that if she ever wants me back, she can have me. I'm not trying to sabotage their relationship, Adrian. But I'm done lying to Bella, and I'm done lying to myself. I love her. I always have and I always will, with every fiber of my being. You have no idea how many tears I would have shed if I could cry. You haven't seen me at night, curled up in a ball on the bed wrapped around Bella's pillow because her scent lingers on it. Every single thought I have revolves in some way around Bella. If all she wants is me to be her friend, then that's what I'll be. But I won't pass up the opportunity for more, either. She has options. I wanted to remind her of that." Adrian pondered this for a moment, finally coming to the conclusion that I was speaking the truth.

"I can see where you're coming from. But she already knows she has options, Edward. She wears that damn necklace every day. Jasper might not know what that little 'NDNF' charm stands for, but I do. All you did tonight was upset her and make Jasper even more suspicious of you than he already was." Adrian took another bite out of his burger. "So how's the guidebook coming?" I hated his little nickname for Bella's diary. Edward's Guide How Not to be a Complete Tool. On the other hand, I wanted Adrian to not hate me, and he might be able to provide me some valuable insight.

"Adrian, can I ask you a question? Why does Bella let Jasper buy her cars and motorcycles when she would never graciously accept a gift from me?"

"She accepted the necklace, which is probably the one gift from you she should have refused." _Okay, so maybe I won't be able to get him to not hate me_. Adrian sighed. "It's because she never felt like she was good enough for you. She never felt like your equal. She feels that way with Jasper, too, but it's different. He accepts her for who she is. He doesn't put her on a pedestal that she feels she can't live up to. That's why she accepted the motorcycle. Jasper lets her do stuff that they both know is stupid; partially because it's fun to her, partially because you wouldn't ever let her cut loose. On the other hand, he doesn't put up with her bullshit. He calls her on it when she needs it, like when she wanted to go riding by herself without a helmet."

"She was going to ride a MOTORCYCLE without a HELMET?" I jumped out of my chair in rage. Adrian laughed. _He thinks this is funny?!_

"No, not really. But that reaction right there, that's why she chose Jasper." My jaw dropped. Adrian looked smug as he wolfed down the last bite of his burger. "Come on, big day tomorrow. I gotta get to bed early, and I have to do it at Hotel Edward instead of home in bed with Ally. Bad planning on our part." Adrian threw a couple bills on the table to cover the tab and started for the door.

"That was a dirty rotten trick, you know?" I asked him as I followed behind him.

"Yeah. So? Did you learn anything?"

I hung my head. "I guess I did," I mumbled, irritated by having been put in my place so completely.

"Well, then, maybe there's hope for you yet. I have three pieces of advice for you. One – deal with the fact that Bella is with Jasper. Period. Yes, you love her. Yes, she loves you. But she loves him, too, and she's made her choice. Two – keep reading. It actually seems like it's doing you some good. I'll answer questions for you if there's something you want to know but don't want to ask Bella, as long as you're man enough to deal with whatever I have to say. And three – quit fucking up before Jasper tears you to shreds. I'm not missing a game to go to your funeral."

**Jasper's POV**

When we got home, she walked ahead of me into the house without a word. "Bella, I think it's time we had a talk." The feeling Bella was emanating now – dread. "Bella, I know that the whole thing with the car accident upset you, and I'm sorry for that. Really I am. But I told you the truth, and now I'd like the truth from you. What would you have done? If it were you there at that meeting, scared to death that, say, Lauren, knew our secret and could potentially expose us, what would you have done? If you were standing there, thinking about how our family could be persecuted, tortured, experimented on, maybe even burned at the stake like they were during the witch hunts? Would you have considered, for even a moment, taking her life to save all of us?"

Bella hung her head down. "I wouldn't have done it, I would never harm an innocent person. But, yes, I would have considered it."

"Well then could you please see it fit to forgive me, Bella? I'm dying over here." Bella snorted at my poor excuse for a joke, but then she blessedly wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me into a hug, this one warm and loving and filled with forgiveness. She pulled back and gave me a quick kiss.

"Why did you pull Edward outside? You know I hate it when you two fight over me."

"Do you really need to ask? You're my girl. I'd have pulled Daughtry himself into the alley if he sang that song to you," Bella laughed and kissed me again.

"Silly Jasper. I don't care if Elvis Presley came back from the dead to sing Teddy Bear to me, I'd still be your girl…Well, unless it was young Elvis, you know when he was hot and wore those leather jackets and tight, faded blue jeans…" I snatched her up and flipped her over my shoulder. She smacked my ass repeatedly, laughing, as I carried her up the stairs and tossed her on the bed, pouncing on top of her to tickle her silly.

"Stop! Please, stop!" Bella writhed and laughed. "You're gonna make me pee! Stop it!" I finally relented.

Bella put her hand on my cheek lovingly as she caught her breath. I leaned into her touch and got lost in her eyes.

"Jasper, I love you. I love _you_. I know it is hard for you, but please try and understand that even though I still want Edward in my life, I'm here. With you." I wanted to argue with her, really I did. But more than that, I wanted to make love to her. I needed to be inside her, feel her as close to me as she could be, envelop myself in her love and warmth and let the rest of the world dissolve away. My very soul demanded it. So that's what I did.

I slowly, delicately, worshipped every ounce of her succulent flesh with my lips as I undressed her, chanting her name like a prayer, her resulting moans like a hymn from an angel. I hugged her to me as I entered her, taking my time to savor the moment. Our love swirled back and forth between us adding a sweet serenity to our love making. We gradually tumbled into oblivion together, staring into each other's eyes, holding nothing back.

"I love you, darlin', more than you'll ever know." I kissed her forehead and rolled us over so she was on top of me, still joined together.

"I love you, too, Jasper," she whispered before kissing my chin and laying her head on my chest. Within moments she was asleep. I held her the rest of the night that way, trying not to cringe when she began talking in her sleep and mine was not the only name she muttered.

**A/N: The Cullendales are back in the states for a bit. First stop on this leg of the tour -- Pittsburgh, PA! Emmett wanted to congratulate them on their Super Bowl win and Adrian wanted to get some DeeJay's Ribs! **


	11. Chapter 10: Buckeyes and UTIs

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own Adrian, this storyline, and an amazing collection of MAC cosmetics that my sister bought me.**

**A/N: Thanks to the best beta in the world -- readingtime. This chapter is lovingly dedicated to the LFBs -- Lillie's Forum Bitches -- They rock like no others!**

**Edward's POV**

After Adrian went to sleep, I decided to go into the study and read some more. I picked up the picture of Bella and studied it. God, the happiness and love in her eyes, in _our_ eyes. I set it down remorsefully and opened the guide. _For Christ's sake, he even has me calling it that now! _I rolled my eyes and turned to the bookmarked page.

_March 9, 2005 – Oh my God! Today was a great day! Edward picked me up from school and of course Jessica ambushed me as soon as we hit the sidewalk, wanting to know everything that happened yesterday. Edward told me to tell her we were dating! Does that mean we are? I think so! I did admit to her that I was disappointed that he hadn't kissed me yet, and that I think I like him more than he likes me. I knew he'd be listening in. When I got out of class, he was standing there, looking like a Greek god. He seemed both amused and irritated. I wasn't sure what to make of it. Then we talked about it at lunch. Oh – he actually can eat food! He took a bite of my pizza. Said it tasted like dirt. Anyway – he said that I was wrong to think that I care more about him than he does me because if he would leave me and hurt himself to keep me safe, then he must care the most. That's so stupid, though. Of course I would do the same for him. Heck, when he made a joke about keeping me safe feeling like a full time job, I briefly considered FINDING ways to put myself in danger just to keep him close to me. Not that I'm telling him that._

_We're not going to Seattle on Saturday after all. It's going to be sunny, so he's going to take me somewhere alone so I can see what he meant about how they look different in the sun. He wants me to make sure that I tell Charlie I'm going to be with him, but there's no way I'm doing that. If, God forbid, something should happen to me, I don't want them going after Edward. He'll feel bad enough already, I'm sure._

_So Emmett likes bears, and Edward's favorite food is mountain lion. I think that's cool, it kinda suits them both. Edward freaked out when I asked him if I could watch him hunt, though. He said it's because they give themselves over to their senses, lose control. Even I can admit it. That could be bad._

I remembered everything about that conversation. Bella dared to call herself ordinary in comparison to me. Silly girl. She really thought that I didn't want to kiss her? All I had done all morning was take every sexual fantasy Jessica had about me and replay it in my mind with Bella in her place. Did she not realize how much I hungered for her lips…her skin…her body, even then? I didn't think she'd want to kiss me, she shouldn't have wanted to be anywhere near my teeth. But then again what Bella wanted and what was best for her always were two different things. I pondered on that for a moment. Was it that very type of thinking that drove a wedge between us? Who am I to say what was best for her? Obviously I was wrong to assume that kissing her would result in her death.

She thought about finding ways to put herself in danger? Knowing what I know now, that doesn't surprise me a bit. Ironic, though. At the time, I was looking for excuses to have to keep her safe. I was ridiculous with worry when Peter and Charlotte came to visit Jasper, even though in my heart I knew they would never harm her.

Maybe if I had told Bella about Alice's vision of me killing her in the meadow, how real the possibility was that she might not have returned that day, she would have understood my fears a little better, listened to me when I asked her to give me an incentive to bring her back. I still can't believe how self-sacrificing she had been. She was right before. I thought that even considering leaving her to keep her safe would prove I loved her more. But I was wrong. Her being so willing to risk her life to be with me, and cover her tracks to ensure I wasn't blamed for it if I killed her, that proved that maybe she really did love me more. I was just too blind to see it.

I laughed when I read Bella's thoughts about our hunting conversation. I had thought regaling her with tales of Emmett hunting irritable grizzlies would scare her, but no, not my Bella. She thought it was 'cool.' At least she took my word on watching us hunt. I shook my head and continued reading.

_We watched a movie in Biology today. Well, there was a movie playing, but I wasn't watching it. I was too distracted by the electricity that flowed between Edward and me. I wanted to touch him so bad it took everything I had not to do it, especially when I looked at him and saw those smoldering eyes of his looking back at me. His hands were balled into fists, too. Was he feeling the same thing I was?_

Yes, Bella, I was.

_He touched my cheek when he walked me to gym! I was so excited I'm surprised I didn't start hyperventilating. Mike got jealous. He said that Edward looks at me like I'm something to eat! That's hysterical! If he only knew!! Haha! Edward was listening in, though. The whole class – saw me whack my head with the badminton racket and everything. I wish he wouldn't do that. I didn't want him to see me in gym – it's so embarrassing! Besides, how am I supposed to know if he's watching me get changed in the locker room through Jessica or Angela's thoughts or something? I'll bet that would scare him off for good! I doubt he'd do that, though, he doesn't seem to like me that way._

I always knew that reading people's thoughts was an invasion of privacy, but never really thought much of it. Sure, I tried to give my family privacy when I could, but I'd never hesitated to use my gift to get information when I wanted it. Bella had tried that day to make me promise not to eavesdrop again but I wouldn't do it. I supposed that was something else for me to ponder. I highlighted it and made a note in the margin to ask about it the next time she or Adrian stayed over.

_March 10, 2005 – Edward left to go hunting today before our date tomorrow. He left me this note in my car! _

My note telling her to 'Be Safe' had been taped onto her diary. Even on the reproduction, you could see the care she took in securing the memento into her book.

_I am so excited about tomorrow that it hurts. I am a little scared, though. But if he wants so badly for me to be safe, then he couldn't possibly hurt me, right? I just have to have faith in him. What other choice do I have – lose him? No way. But if he does lose control, I hope it doesn't hurt TOO much. I'm too wound up to sleep. I'm going to take some Nyquil, see if it helps._

So she did have a survival instinct after all! That's definitely good to know! I heard Adrian get up and head for the bathroom to shower. I begrudgingly put the book down. Time to get ready for the game. After last evening's fireworks, I was not looking forward to the four of us hanging out for three hours at a football game, but it's important to Adrian, and therefore to Alice and Bella, so I had no choice, really. If they wanted me there, there I would be. I grabbed a quick shower and threw on the scarlet and grey polo shirt and blue jeans that Alice had bought me for the occasion. Adrian was running late, so I toasted him a bagel and poured some orange juice in a travel mug while he was getting dressed so he could have breakfast in the car on the way to the stadium.

"Hey, man, thanks! I had a hard time falling asleep last night. Nerves, I suppose." Adrian ripped a chunk of bagel off with his teeth and devoured it. It briefly occurred to me that he would make a very messy vampire. As it was, I was going to have to vacuum out the Volvo later to get all the crumbs out.

I dropped Adrian off at the player's entrance and navigated through the traffic to find a parking place. It was amazing to me how popular these games were. The entire town seemed to shut down for the game. Two way streets became one way roads flowing towards the stadium before the game, and would switch to become one way roads away from the stadium after the game. The horrendous smell of sweat, kielbasa, and beer filled the air surrounding the multiple tailgate parties I passed by on my way to the gate to meet up with everyone else. When I saw them, my breath hitched in my throat. Alice had obviously been playing Bella Barbie again. They were both wearing matching jerseys with Adrian's name and number, tied in a knot on the bottom hem so they fit the girls snugly, showing off their curves, with a pair of form fitting jeans and black ankle boots. Bella's hair was pulled up in a ponytail and curled, with scarlet and grey ribbons hanging down from the elastic. Her makeup was light, with just some lip gloss and mascara, not to mention a temporary tattoo of a block letter "O" on her cheek. Bella looked so sweet and innocent, and yet so sexy at the same time. Jasper must have caught a trace of my lust, because he shot me an evil glare. I closed my eyes and focused on the calm I needed to block him, and walked up to join them. I kissed first Alice, then Bella on the cheek and extended my hand to Jasper's to shake, which he begrudgingly shook. He was singing the Ohio State Fight Song in his head on repeat.

"Come on, already! Let's go find out seats! Bella, do you want something to eat before we go in?" Alice was bouncing up and down with excitement.

"No, I'm alright. Let's just get settled. I can get a pretzel and some soda off one of the vendors that go up and down the aisle." I was very proud of myself for suppressing the urge to tell her she should eat better.

We took our seats; Jasper, then Bella, then Alice, then me. Jasper leaned over and asked, "Are you sure you don't want something to eat? I think you were supposed to take those pills on a full stomach, weren't you?" Alice snorted and Bella shot her a warning look.

"Now that you mention it, I could really go for a thing of those nachos with cheese sauce. Are you sure you don't mind?"

"No, not at all." Jasper gave her a quick kiss and disappeared back up the aisle. I was fraught with worry and couldn't resist.

"Bella, what pills? Are you alright?"

Bella looked at Alice, who started laughing again. She rolled her eyes and looked back at me. "It's just some antibiotics that Alice asked Carlisle to overnight to me. Apparently, she had a vision of me getting an infection…of some type. It's just a precaution." Bella blushed, completely embarrassed.

Alice laughed even harder. "It's not my fault, blame Jasper! He's the one who wouldn't let you pee." Before I could even wrap my brain around that one, Alice screamed. "They're coming on the field! There he is! GO ADRIAN!!!"

Bella screamed "Adrian! Go Buckeyes!" and then we all sat back to enjoy the game. I had to admit, college football games were exciting. Between the entire stadium doing the wave or shouting "O – H – I – O!" and Adrian's superb skills, half time came before we knew it, and the Buckeyes ended the half up 21-0. Bella excused herself for a human moment, and barely got back in time to watch the marching band do Script Ohio before the second half started. The second half of the game was even more exciting than the first, with Wisconsin making a comeback attempt. Alice panicked, though, when Adrian got sacked. I think it was one of those moments where she was cursing the fact that she couldn't see his future. In the end, though, he was fine and Ohio State beat Wisconsin 28-14.

Alice was so excited that she decided we all needed to go out to celebrate. She had apparently heard of a new nightclub off campus and thought it would be fun to go dancing. Bella groaned, but begrudgingly agreed after Alice promised that Bella could get ready herself and wear what she wanted. We all went home to change, and agreed that we would meet at their house in an hour. I had a feeling it was going to be a very long night.

**A/N: The Cullendales are playing to a sold out crowd in the Meadowlands in New Jersey! We've got the boxes reserved for my loyal reviewers, where the two new members will be giving a private show...**


	12. Chapter 11: Parcae

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do however, own Adrian, Kelly, this storyline, and a teddy bear I've had since I was one. If I had to choose between my Charlie Bear or my husband, the bear would win.**

**A/N: Extra special thanks to readingtime for beta'ing this chapter. It's a hundred times better because of you. You're worth your weight in gold, girl! Thanks also to changedbyEdward and Lead69 for their help with the song choices. Sending me song lyrics at 1am is above and beyond. Jill and Tammy -- the boy band is for you. I'm going to apologize up front for the lyric OD.**

**Jasper's POV**

"Alice, please? You've got to know something about how tonight's going to go?" I had a really bad feeling about tonight and I just couldn't shake it.

"Honestly, Jasper, I don't. Adrian is going to be there with us, so I can't see anything. Besides, I've told you already, I'm done with fortune telling." Alice went back to putting on her eyeliner.

"You told us about Bella getting a urinary tract infection." I crossed my arms smugly.

"Only because that was a health issue. I've been around human girls enough to know that UTIs _hurt_." Alice cringed a bit and went right on ignoring me.

Giving up, I decided to try another tactic. I went back into mine and Bella's bedroom and found her staring at her closet, oozing frustration. I wrapped my arms around her waist and brought her up tight against my chest. I pulled her hair off to one side and began kissing up her neck. "What's troublin' you, darlin'?"

"I should have let Alice get me ready. I'm no good at this. I have no idea what to wear." Bella leaned her head back on my shoulder, turning away from me a little so I had better access.

"We could just stay in tonight…enjoy the peace and quiet at home…make our own noise…" Bella giggled and squirmed out of my arms.

"Nice try, Whitlock. Adrian just won his first Big Ten Football game…as a freshman quarterback, no less. I'm not missing his celebration."

"Oh, alright," I sighed dramatically, throwing my hands in the air. "I was just trying to save you from having to dance."

"Ugh. Don't remind me!" Bella finally decided on a pale pink silk camisole with black jeans and pink heels. God, I love that woman in pink. She took the ribbons out of her hair, but left the ponytail in, took off the temporary tattoo from her cheek, touched up her makeup and she was good to go. We went downstairs to find Alice sitting in Adrian's lap with his hand halfway up her shirt.

Bella cleared her throat and giggled. "Didn't like spending the night alone last night, huh, Adrian?"

Adrian wolf whistled at her. "Bells and Whistles, baby! You look fantastic!" Alice smacked his arm and he quickly turned to her. "So do you, Ally-Angel." Alice laughed and got up.

Thirty seconds later, my favorite brother showed up. He completed his new standard greeting – kiss Alice on the cheek, kiss Bella on the cheek, then shake mine and Adrian's hands. It seemed odd to me when I realized that Adrian wasn't exuding his usual irritation around Edward. We decided to let Edward drive since his Volvo was the only one that could comfortably seat five and headed for the club.

When we arrived at Destine, we took a moment to look around. It was done in an ancient Greek theme, with statues of Zeus, Adonis, and The Three Fates, greek columns on the four corners of the dance floor, even the waitresses were dressed as Aphrodite. We ran into several of Adrian's teammates as soon as we got there, so Adrian introduced us and headed for the bar to do a celebratory shot. Bella ordered a chardonnay. I was a bit surprised, but didn't say anything. I leaned back and expected Edward to jump right in with the lecture. _This ought to be good._

"You might like Reisling. It's a bit sweeter than chardonnay and has less of an oak flavor, or at least, so I've read." Edward flashed her a smile and she smiled back. Affection. Not love, but definitely affection floated my way from her.

I bit back a growl and sent Edward a mental warning which he pretended not to hear as Bella looked back to the bartender and said "I'd like to try that instead, please." Bella looked at me and I did my best to relax my face and smile at her. She forced a smile and turned her head away. Nervousness and fear radiated from her. When Bella's drink arrived, she tentatively took a sip, and decided she loved it. It disappeared rather quickly and she ordered another.

Alice grabbed Bella by the wrist and dragged her onto the floor. Beyonce's "Diva" was playing, and Bella was really nervous and feeling out of place for a little bit, but then Alice grabbed her by the hips and showed her how to move to the music. Soon they were both dancing and laughing and singing to the music. I had to shake my head, I never thought I'd see Bella bouncing up and down singing "A diva is the female version of a hustler, of a hustler…"

Edward was staring at them, too. I couldn't feel anything from him but that same infuriating calm. I growled at him and saw Alice turn and then shake her head at me before turning back to Bella. Bella looked at Alice questioningly, but Alice just shook her head again. I could almost feel Bella's chest tightening all the way from my vantage point.

The girls came back over to us when the song was over and we settled into a booth. I put my arm around Bella, making a small production of it, I'm sure. I was trying to make a point. She didn't say anything, but I could tell how uncomfortable she was. You could cut the tension with a knife. Adrian looked at myself, then Edward. Something he saw displeased him. He was angry and irritated. Bella downed her second glass of wine and ordered a third. A shot of worry hit me from Adrian. He looked at Alice, who nodded.

"Come on, Bells and Whistles, let's see how many guys I can make jealous tonight. Dance with me?" Bella stood up and scooted out of the booth to take his hand.

Bella's eyes darted quickly to Edward and I, then back to Alice, who smiled encouragingly at her. "Most definitely." She walked onto the dance floor with Adrian. I couldn't believe it! I hadn't even asked her to dance because I was certain she'd say no. Adrian asked her to dance and she didn't even hesitate.

"Are you really that surprised, Jazz?" Alice was looking at me quizzically. "The two of you are making her crazy. Honest to goodness!" I felt a huge shockwave of jealousy slam into me. I looked up to see Bella and Adrian. They weren't just dancing, they were grinding. He had one leg between hers, with one hand holding hers and the other behind her back, guiding her movements to Kanye West's Heartless. I looked at Alice, thinking the jealousy came from her, but she was smiling.

"He's a great dancer, isn't he? It's nice to see Bella finally loosen up a little." Edward growled and I realized the jealousy had come from him. I whipped my head around to face him.

"Who the hell do you think you are? You have absolutely no right being jealous of Adrian dancing with My Bella!"

Edward's eyes narrowed. I could feel him struggling to regain his calm fascade but it wasn't working, because now there was not only jealousy, there was rage. "She wasn't always _Your_ Bella," Edward replied through gritted teeth.

Alice slammed her open palm on the table so hard she was going to have to smooth out the dents so she didn't leave a handprint behind. "You two are _both_ ridiculous, you know that! You both know damn well that Bella and Adrian are just friends. He took her out dancing, and she accepted, because after last night she feels very uncomfortable around the two of you together. I will let you in on a little secret. If you two don't start learning how to play nice and show Bella that you can get along and be accepting of the other's relationship with her, you are both going to lose her."

"What?! Have you had a vision I should know about?" I asked, panicky. I could see Edward concentrating, trying to scan her mind, but it seemed as though he came up empty.

"No, I'm not saying this because of a vision. I'm saying this because Bella is my best friend, and I know her. Adrian agrees with me."

Edward and I sighed at the same time. "Okay, Alice, any suggestions?" I asked.

"Why don't you go dance with her? Both of you. Show her that she can relax, that you're not going to rip each other's heads off for being within a five mile radius of her." Edward and I stared each other down for a moment.

"Whatever," Alice said, suddenly bored with our antics. "It's your funeral."

I got up and headed for the dance floor, with Edward and Alice right behind me. "Ayo Technology" by 50 Cent and Justin Timberlake was playing. I tapped Adrian on the shoulder and he gladly let us cut in grabbing Alice to pull her back against his chest to dance. I took Bella by the hips and pulled her close to me. We began swaying to the music.

Bella really didn't know how to dance, and her nervousness was almost paralyzing, but she let me lead and soon she was relaxing and moving more freely. Edward sidled up behind Bella and put his hands on her forearms. Bella gasped as she opened her eyes and saw him behind her. She looked at me and I smiled and whispered, "It's just dancing, darlin'. I'm not upset. Relax and have some fun." Like hell I wasn't upset, but I was not about to tell her that. _Keep your hands where they are, Edward. If they start exploring, I'm gonna rip 'em off by your wrists. _Edward chuckled a little, but nodded at me as he moved even closer to Bella. I could feel the tension drain from Bella as we danced, slowly being replaced with joy.

Even when it's not about a vision, don't bet against Alice, I supposed. We danced a couple more songs this way, with Bella in the middle alternately facing Edward or myself. Bella really started getting into it, rubbing and grinding her body between us. I could feel her lust rising and it should have been such a turn on, but all I could think about was 'Is she hot for me? Or Edward?' When "Crack A Bottle" by Eminem came on, we decided to sit down and take a break. Bella looked like a totally different person than she had before, so much happier, almost glowing. She ignored the wine on the table and instead chose to order a water with lemon. She'd worked up quite a sweat dancing and needed to rehydrate.

We ordered some wings and potato skins for Bella and Adrian, which they wolfed down. We all chatted about the game and how we liked school so far, which classes we liked, which classes we hated. It was actually very pleasant and for a while I almost forgot what it was about Edward that I disliked so much. That was, until he asked Bella to dance. Bella looked at me and I put on my best fake smile. She kissed me on the cheek and took his hand. We Belong Together by Mariah Carey started playing. _Did he request this?_ I stood up ready to go over there, but Adrian and Alice both looked at me and said "Sit down" at the same time. In fact, they said it in perfect harmony. Reluctantly I sat back down.

**Edward's POV**

I knew I was probably pressing my luck asking Bella to dance, especially with how well the evening was going, but I really wanted to talk to her alone for a few minutes. I figured since she had danced with Adrian, it would be alright if she danced with me, especially since I had no intention of doing any more grinding. My body couldn't take it. I was already aching with need from being on the dance floor with her earlier, feeling her body pressed up against mine, causing friction in all the right places. I thought back to the last time I'd felt her body pressed up against me like that. It was at the hotel in Buffalo. That snapped me back to reality. I still had a lot of making up to do.

I didn't request the song, but I couldn't deny it was perfect. I held Bella loosely by the waist as we started to dance.

_I didn't mean it when I said I didn't love you so  
I should have held on tight I never shoulda let you go  
I didn't know nothing I was stupid, I was foolish  
I was lying to myself_

I bent down and whispered in her ear. "Bella, can I ask you a question?" She shivered from the sensation but nodded her head. "Why did Carlisle have to send you antibiotics?" Bella flushed bright red.

_I could not fathom that I would ever be without your love  
Never imagined I'd be sitting here beside myself  
'Cause I didn't know you, 'cause I didn't know me  
But I thought I knew everything  
I'd never fail_

"It was nothing, really. Jasper was tickling me, a lot. He didn't stop until I felt like I had to pee. But then we…got distracted, and I didn't get to go until afterwards. Alice said she saw me getting a urinary tract infection from it." Bella hung her head down. I took a moment to process what she'd said.

_The feeling that I'm feeling now that I don't hear your voice  
Or have your touch and kiss your lips 'cause I don't have a choice  
Oh, what I wouldn't give to have you lying by my side  
Right here, 'cause baby  
We belong together_

"Distracted how?" I cringed, not really wanting the answer, but the question was already out there.

"If you must know, we were having sex, Edward," Bella hissed in a whisper. I had suspected, of course. I'd known what I had seen in Alice's vision of Jasper going to Bella's before we broke up, but Bella had been so cautious to not be in any way intimate around me that I guess I had been holding on to a thread of hope that perhaps they hadn't actually made love. Bella pulled me a little closer to her. "I'm sorry, Edward."

_When you left I lost a part of me  
It's still so hard to believe  
Come back baby, please  
'Cause we belong together_

"It's okay, Bella. You don't need to apologize to me. I just…always hoped it would be me, that we would be each other's firsts. But there's no use dwelling on the past, let's just enjoy the moment. Right now. This dance." I tried to not let my pain come through in my voice. I'm not sure I succeeded. Bella smiled sadly at me and I pulled her a little closer still to try and drive away the heartbreak. Now our bodies were touching, but in an innocent way, nothing that Jasper could cry foul over.

_Who else am I gonna lean on when times get rough  
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone 'till the sun comes up  
Who's gonna take your place there ain't nobody there  
Oh, baby baby, we belong together_

When the song ended, the DJ announced 'I'm going to slow things down and take you all back a bit.' Gone by N'Sync started to play. I started to pull away, but Bella stopped me. "One more dance?" she asked me sweetly. I could deny her nothing. Why would she want to dance to this song, though? Was it just a coincidence? I pulled her tight against me and let the rest of the world disappear for a moment as our bodies rocked to the rhythm. Without really realizing it, I found myself singing the words to her as we danced.

_I don't wanna make excuses, baby  
Won't change the fact that you're gone  
But if there's something that I could do  
Won't you please let me know?  
The time is passing so slowly now  
Guess that's my life without you  
and maybe I could change my every day  
But baby I don't want to_

_So I'll just hang around  
and find some things to do  
To take my mind off missing you  
and I know in my heart  
You can't say that you don't love me too  
Please say you do_

_Yeah....I've been sitting here  
Can't get you off my mind  
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong  
I Drove myself insane  
Wishing I could touch your face  
But the truth remains_

_You're gone..  
You're gone..  
You're gone  
You're gone...you're gone... you're....  
Gone_

_Oh, what will I do  
If I can't be with you  
Tell me where will I turn to  
Baby where will I be  
Now that we are apart  
Am I still in your heart?  
Baby why don't you see?  
That I need you here with me_

**Jasper's POV**

I'd had all I could take. Between him whispering in her ear, Bella's emotions fluxing so much I was getting dizzy, and the fact that they were now moving very sensuously to the music, my jealousy was at an all time high. Two could play this game. I went up to the DJ and requested a song, and after slipping him a $100, he promised he'd play it next. I walked up and tapped Edward on the shoulder. His smile slipped when I asked him if I could cut in. Like Only A Woman Can by Brian McFadden started playing and I snatched Bella away from Edward and into my arms. Bella was radiating guilt and remorse. I tried to ignore it and focus on the fact that the girl of my dreams was in my arms.

"Listen to this song, darlin'. This is what you did for me." She wrapped her arms around my neck and smiled at me. I chose this song because it reminded me of how Bella trusted me when no one else did, accepted me for who I was and who I am; the good, the bad, and the ugly. I would forever be grateful to her for that.

_I wasn't perfect  
I've done a lot of stupid things  
Still no angel  
I wasn't looking for forgiveness  
Wasn't laid out by my pride  
Shocked by her attention  
And someone signed me up for love  
I didn't want it  
And now I can't live without it_

I heard a girl ask someone to dance and felt their sharp sense of surprise. Bella audibly gasped. I followed her eyes to see Edward take a beautiful young woman into his arms to dance. I recognized her from my American History class, her name was Kelly. She was a sweet girl, one of the cheerleaders if I remembered correctly. Really smart and drop dead gorgeous, with long strawberry blonde hair that flowed midway down her back, swaying behind her as they danced, legs that went on forever, perfectly proportioned curves. She was wearing a dark blue silk blouse and a pair of white blue jeans; sexy without being trampy. She reminded me a little of Tanya, only without all the slutiness. I would have to thank her later. Maybe she could make Edward forget about Bella. She could be good for him, which would definitely make my life easier. My happy thoughts were interrupted with the jealousy coming from Bella as she watched them. It almost dropped me to my knees.

"Bella? Why was I feeling remorse from you before we started dancing? And why am I feeling jealousy coming from you now?" My voice was cracking, fear overtaking my senses.

"I felt guilty because I told Edward we were sleeping together and I was afraid I hurt him." _He didn't know? Well, good, I'm glad he does now_. "As for the jealousy, don't take it the wrong way. It's just that I was thinking that the whole time I was with Edward, I always thought he would realize I wasn't good enough. _She_ is exactly the type of girl I thought he would be with, someone blonde, beautiful, and perfect. Everything I'm not." Ironic, really. Here I was dancing with her, playing a song that tells her how I don't think I'm good enough for her, and she's thinking about how she wasn't good enough for him.

_She changed my life  
She cleaned me up  
She found my heart  
Like only a woman can  
She pulls me up  
When she knows I'm sad  
She knows her man  
Like only a woman can_

"Bella, he was the one who wasn't good enough for you, not the other way around. Never doubt that, never forget it." Bella cringed at my words. I didn't know why. "Bella, look at me, darlin'. I love you. You are everything I never knew I always wanted." Her pain eased up a bit and she curled up against me, laying her head on my chest. I leaned my head on top of hers and breathed in her sweet scent, which soothed and tortured me all at once.

"I love you, too."

_She's kind of perfect  
She's kind of everything I'm not  
Yeah, she's an angel  
And it's amazing how she's patient  
Even more at times I'm not  
She's my conscience  
And who decided I'd be hers  
I wanna hate them  
Cos now I can't live without her_

When the song ended, I bent down and kissed Bella. "Come on, sweetheart. I think we've had enough for one night, don't you? Let's go home." Bella looked back behind us for one last quick glance at Edward and Kelly as we walked off the dance floor, wracked with jealousy and guilt.

**A/N: I _REALLY_ want to know what you think of this one. The Cullendales have brought their X-rated revue show to Dallas, Texas! Jasper's so happy about it, he's giving away naked lap dances AND massages (complete with happy endings) to all my fabulous reviewers!**


	13. Chapter 12: Love and Jealousy

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own Adrian (yay!), Kelly, this story line, and a very extensive Disney movie collection...**

**A/N: First of all, I have some exciting news to announce. I have received three nominations for the Eddie/Bellie awards! Thank you to everyone who nominated me! I am honored and humbled. A Lesson in Release has been nominated for Best Completed Novel and for the S. Meyer Award for Grammar, Punctuation, and Spelling. NCB, Inc. has been nominated for Best Multi-Chapter Smut. Voting is open now at www (dot) thecatt (dot) net (slash) tw (slash) default (dot) aspx. The link is on my profile. Please vote today -- after you read this chapter, of course! Enjoy!**

**Thanks as always to my beta, readingtime. A special thanks to jilburfm, queen of smackdowns, ambiguous pronouns, f-bombs, and all things holy, I mean, holey! **

**Edward's POV**

After Jasper had reclaimed Bella, I started to walk off the dance floor. "Could I have this dance?" I turned my head to see a pretty strawberry blonde asking to cut in on Bella and Jasper, but Jasper didn't seem to notice she was there. Maybe it was because I didn't want Bella to get upset by this girl's actions, maybe it was because I didn't want this poor girl to get her feelings hurt by being ignored, maybe it was because I thought this stranger seemed too sweet to be sad. For whatever reason, I took her by the hand and spun her into my arms to dance. She looked at me in shock, and I froze for a second, thinking she noticed my cold, hard skin. This was a bad idea. But then she smiled at me, and we started to move to the music.

I'd seen this girl in the music building before when I was heading for my Music Appreciation class, always lugging around a huge cello case. I had to admit, she was strikingly beautiful. She reminded me a little of Tanya, only much more shy and demure. I overheard Tanya's name in Jasper's thoughts and realized he had finally noticed this girl. I focused on his thoughts to see if I could learn any more about her. _Maybe she could make Edward forget about Bella. She could be good for him, which would definitely make my life easier._ _Wait a minute…Bella's…JEALOUS? _I dared not turn and look at them. I didn't want him to know I was listening in. I pretended to give this girl my undivided attention, but really I was just going through the motions, hanging on to Jasper's every thought. Then they started talking…about me.

"I felt guilty because I told Edward we were sleeping together and I was afraid I hurt him_." He didn't know? Well, good, I'm glad he does now, _Jasper thought_._ How crude. "As for the jealousy, don't take it the wrong way. It's just that I was thinking that the whole time I was with Edward, I always thought he would realize I wasn't good enough. _She_ is exactly the type of girl I thought he would be with, someone blonde, beautiful, and perfect. Everything I'm not." Bella sounded so sad. _Did she really think she wasn't good enough for me? How many times have I told her she was by and far the better person? I'm not even a person, I'm a monster, a monster who loves an angel._ I made up my mind to talk to her about that at my first opportunity.

"Bella, he was the one who wasn't good enough for you, not the other way around. Never doubt that, never forget it." Through Jasper's thoughts, I watched Bella cringe at his words. I knew why. Bella reached behind her neck, looking like she was rubbing her neck, but I was almost certain she was fingering her NDNF charm. For the thousandth time, I wished I could read her thoughts. "Bella, look at me, darlin'. I love you. You are everything I never knew I always wanted." I waited with baited breath to hear what she would say to him.

"I love you, too." There it was. The cold, hard truth of the matter. No matter how much she used to love me, no matter how many times her diary screamed to me that it was real, it doesn't negate the fact that it's over. She doesn't love me anymore. She loves _him_. My chest ached and all I wanted to do was run and hide, but I couldn't do it without drawing a lot of attention, especially from the girl with whom I was dancing. I looked down at her and smiled politely. When the song ended, she lifted her eyebrows in a silent question. _One more?_ I shrugged and continued dancing. Why not?

When the song ended, Jasper kissed Bella, and my chest tightened even more. "Come on, sweetheart. I think we've had enough for one night, don't you? Let's go home." _Why is Bella wracked with jealousy and guilt? I can't believe she's jealous of Kelly dancing with Edward?!_ Was that possible??? I looked up hoping to catch Bella's gaze, try and see what she was thinking, but they were already out the door and gone. I sighed.

"Are you alright?" the girl asked. I turned back to her and nodded.

"You like that girl with Jasper, don't you?" she asked knowingly. _He doesn't just like her. That girl hung the moon for him, I can tell. _She didn't seem upset about it, for which I was grateful. I just nodded again.

"And you like Jasper?" She blushed and looked away before nodding. She bit her lower lip just like Bella. I swallowed hard against the string of memories flooding my mind.

"My name's Kelly. What's yours?" She really was sweet.

"Edward. I've seen you in the music building. You play cello?"

"Yes, I'm a music major. Do you like music?"

"Yes, actually, I do. I play piano." Kelly's eyes lit up, excited.

"You do? Maybe you could help me! I have to write a composition for one of my classes and perform it. I keep trying to write a solo, but in my head I keep hearing it as a duet. With a piano. But I didn't know who to get to play with me. Would you do it?" She looked so excited and hopeful. _Live in the present, Edward_, I told myself.

"Certainly. I've done a little composition myself. Let me know if you need help writing it."

"Okay! So…how do you know Jasper?"

"He's my brother." _Ooh, maybe he can set us up! That's stupid, Kelly. Didn't you see the girl Jasper was wrapped around? He didn't even know you existed._

"Who's the girl?"

"My ex-girlfriend." I clenched my jaw, anxious for this song to end so I could get away from this girl and this conversation.

"Oh." Kelly said simply. _Ouch. That stinks, _she thought. She was kind enough not to press any further. When the song ended, I kissed her knuckles politely, thanked her for the dance and walked away. Alice and Adrian were staring at me as I walked away, their thoughts swimming trying to figure out why I was dancing with Kelly.

"I'll explain in the car. Let's go." Without a word, they both jumped from their seats and followed me out the door.

When we got back to their house, Alice and I could hear Jasper and Bella arguing. Even Adrian could hear them.

"You're being ridiculous!" Bella yelled. "I'm. Right. Here. With you! Not him. How many times do I have to remind you of that?!"

"Then why the fuck were you so jealous? And don't tell me it was just because you thought she was the type of girl that would steal him away from you, because it shouldn't matter to you anymore. But it obviously does!"

"Jasper – he was my first love. Do you remember your first love?" Jasper's thoughts drifted to a pretty southern belle in a white dress and hoop skirt with a parasol over her shoulder, smiling at him.

"Not exactly. I mean, I know what she looked like, and I know I loved her, but I don't remember much else about her. It was when I was human…"

"Well, how do you feel when you think about her?" Bella's voice was calm, calculating.

"Affectionate, I suppose?"

"And does it bother you to think after you left, that she probably moved on, married someone else, had his children?" Jasper pictured her with someone else, a rival suitor, with a small boy between them as they walked down a tree covered lane. "See, you don't even have to answer me. I can see it in your face! And that jealousy right there was for a woman from 230 years ago whose name you can't even remember!" Through Jasper's thoughts, I could see Bella's hands on her hips, her face scrunched up in determination. I laughed out loud.

"Alright, that's enough eavesdropping for one night," Alice chided. "Mind if we stay at your place tonight?"

"Yeah," Adrian said, his voice slightly slurred from the alcohol. "This could go on for hours, and if it doesn't, I _definitely_ don't want to have to listen to the make-up sex." Alice smacked his arm. "Ow! Shit, baby, be careful! That's my throwing arm!"

I sighed in defeat and pulled the car back out of the drive, thinking about everything that transpired tonight. What does it all mean? Bella was definitely jealous, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me happy. But Bella's argument to Jasper made sense. It was probably just the remnants of first love, seeing me with someone else, no matter how innocent or insignificant the encounter may have been, was probably a temporary shock to her. Nothing more.

Alice and Adrian went to his room to get settled for the night. The guide called to me like her blood and although I really didn't want to fill myself with the false hopes the book gave me, I couldn't stop myself from picking it up.

_March 12/13, 2005 – I'm writing this a day late because EDWARD CULLEN STAYED THE NIGHT WITH ME! I just had the most amazing day of my entire life! Edward showed up for our date right on time. He was really angry when I told him no one knew I was with him, but I expected that. He had me drive to the end of this road in the middle of nowhere and then proceeded to make me hike for FIVE MILES! Me! I have come to the conclusion that he can actually hear my heart beat, because every time I tripped and he caught me, my heart would skip a beat and he'd give me this little smirk. God, he's so perfect. Anyway, he seemed to get over being mad at me, and went back to the plethora of random questions he seemed to always have for me. It took us like three hours to get where we were going, but it was SO worth it. Out in the middle of the woods was the most beautiful meadow I'd ever seen, with tons of wildflowers and a little stream nearby. But it's beauty by and far paled to the beauty of Edward in the sunlight. He sparkled! Literally! I mean, his skin looked like it had thousands of tiny diamonds in it! I was so afraid to reach out and touch him, afraid he'd disappear, but he didn't. He seemed to like it when I ran my finger up and down his arm. His skin is so cool and smooth as satin, the perfect texture. He had bluish veins in his elbow. I don't know why that surprised me, but it did. _

_He did manage to scare the crap out of me once. It was my own fault. I wanted to smell that wonderful sweet breath of his and leaned in too close. He sprinted away from me so fast it was as if he disappeared and then reappeared on the other end of the meadow. "As if you could outrun me," he said. Then he ripped a tree out of the ground and threw it into another tree so hard it shattered. "As if you could fight me off," he said. That was when I figured out he was __trying__ to scare me off. Nice try. Fat chance. Honestly, he'd never looked more beautiful to me than he was right then, showing me his vampire side, a side no one outside of his family gets to see. He calmed down, took me by the hand, and swore he would never hurt me. I think he was trying to convince himself more than me, but whatever. _

Our meadow. It used to be my meadow, my secret hiding place. The moment she stepped foot in it, it became forever ours. I remember everything about that day, every touch, every breath, every word. The way she caressed my arm, traced the path of my veins, was so warm, so pleasant, so comforting.

Even then, she had me all figured out, didn't she? She was right, I was trying to scare her off, for her own good. I _was_ trying to convince myself I couldn't hurt her. There were two distinct possibilities according to Alice's visions, and I wasn't particularly pleased with either of them. I was determined to change the future. I didn't want her dead and I didn't want her changed. I still don't, although I think if it would bring her back to me, I would be too selfish to say no.

_He finally opened up to me about himself, about why it's so hard for him to be around me. He said my blood smells tastier to him than anyone else's ever has. Just my luck, right? Said I was like his favorite brand of heroin. Apparently his brother Emmett met someone like me once or possibly twice before. They didn't make it. Edward said that it took everything he had not to kill me right there in the middle of that room full of children. Yes, children. That bothered me, not so much because he thought of killing me, because he's a vampire, I understand that. It bothered me because if he sees everyone else in the class as __children__, then that must be how he sees me too, right? Actually, come to think about it, he did refer to me as an 'insignificant little girl' when he talked about how he convinced himself to come back from Alaska. I'm not going to dwell on it, though. Too many other good things happened._

I guess I did see her as a child, in some ways, didn't I? That had to have been so insulting to her, I'm surprised she never said anything. In some ways she was more mature than I, despite the vast difference in our ages. It was wrong of me to think so condescendingly of her. She deserved better than that.

_Then he started telling me how hard it had been when he had to resist killing me, and how his family got mad when he tried to save me. Except for Carlisle and Alice, even though he cringed when he said Alice was on his side. I didn't get that. I felt so bad for him, suffering like that, just to keep me alive. He said he would never hurt me now because I "am the most important thing to him ever." *Swoon!* "and so the lion fell in love with the lamb…" he said. How romantic is that?! He laid his head over my heart for the longest time, getting used to my smell, I think. _

_That was the nice part of the date. Then came the not so nice part. He decided to show off and fling me on his back and carry me back to the truck – at warp speed! I felt like I'd stuck my head outside an airplane window or something! I got motion sickness so bad I thought I was gonna puke. It was worth it, though. __**Edward kissed me!**__ Of course, I had to go and ruin it by getting too excited kissing him back and freaking him out. Still, it was my first kiss, and it was with Edward, and it was wonderful!_

_Edward told me all about him and his family, which was very cool. He was born in 1901! When we got to the house, he knew where my spare key was, and seemed to know his way around my house as well as I do. He's been spying on me in my sleep! Worse, listening to me talk in my sleep! About him! I was mortified!!! Then he said the sweetest thing…he said if he could dream at all, he would dream about me. See what I mean? Perfect. Even when I find out he's being all stalkerish, I end up just being flattered. _

Our first kiss. I closed my eyes and felt it all over again in my memory, her soft, warm lips pressed against mine, her heartbeat fluttering erratically, her fingers in my hair. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't pull away and make her feel bad for reciprocating. I would deepen the kiss and pull her body flush to mine and not stop until she told me to. I would make love to her in our meadow, right then and there. Then I would take her away, someplace far away from Forks and my family and James and Victoria, someplace where happily ever afters really can come true.

She thought me watching her sleep was _stalkerish_? I highlighted that section and put a note in the margin to ask her if she still feels that way. If she does, I won't do that anymore. I really missed that, though, these past 10 months. I enjoyed it so much last week, even if she didn't know I was there. I will ask her permission next time, and hopefully she won't mind.

_He left when my dad got home. As soon as I could, I ran upstairs and called for him out the window, but he was already there. I turned around and there was Edward – laying ON MY BED! I thought I was going to die, and I would die happy. I suddenly wished I had something sexy to put on to sleep in instead of my usual holey t-shirt and sweatpants. Something from Victoria's Secret would be good._

_He was kissing my jawbone, and my ear, and tracing his finger along my collarbone – it drove me absolutely crazy! We talked about the glory of first love, and how powerful the emotions associated with it were – joy, jealousy, all of it. He was jealous of Mike Newton? That is so silly! Especially when he told me that Carlisle made Rosalie for him. Rosalie! Only the most beautiful woman on the planet! How is plain ole' me supposed to compete with that?_

Jealousy associated with love. Well, we have a whole new spin on that now, don't we? I'm incredibly jealous of Jasper, and tonight Bella was jealous of Kelly. Jasper, it would seem, is jealous of me. I pondered that for a while. Life had become rather complicated as of late.

_My dad came in to check on me, so I had to lay down and pretend to be sleeping. Edward surprised me by laying down with me after Charlie left and whispering in my ear. It was so…erotic. I asked him, in a roundabout way, if it would be possible for us to…be…together. He said that he didn't think so…that I was too breakable. I didn't say anything. He thought I was scared. I wasn't. I was disappointed. He told me that he was a virgin, too, though, and he hinted that he did find me attractive like that, so maybe there's hope. He hummed a lullaby for me and I fell asleep in his arms. I'd never slept so good._

_This morning I told him I loved him and he told me I was __his life__. Sigh! _

"Engrossed, are you?" Alice startled me.

"I guess I was." She plopped down next to me and held her hands out. "May I?"

I closed the book and moved it out of her reach. "No offense, Alice, but it _is_ Bella's diary. I don't think she'd appreciate me passing it around if you know what I mean."

"Good answer," Alice smirked. "Maybe there's hope for you yet."

"Funny, your boyfriend just said the same thing to me yesterday."

"It's not like he hates you, Edward. He just hates how you treated her, how you made her feel. Bella is more family to him than his real family ever was. He would protect her with his very last breath and not regret it for a moment. I feel the same way about you, so I can't exactly hold it against him." I leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Alice, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Is there any chance…for Bella and me? Do you see us ever getting together?" Alice immediately started singing "If You Seek Amy" in her head. _Damn, she knows how much I hate Britney Spears_.

"I have already told Jasper this. I'm done with messing with the future. If it's not something trivial, or something life and death, I'm keeping my visions to myself. As vampires, we always see ourselves as unchangeable, but that's not true. I've learned from my mistakes. Adrian has made me a better person and helped me realize that a lot of times when I was trying to help, that all I was really doing was butting in where I didn't belong. I think you're learning from your mistakes, too, so I hope you can respect my decision to just let things play out however they will. Make your decisions based on what is in your heart, not based on what is in my head, okay?"

As much as I would have liked some clue, some reason to hope or to give up, I wouldn't argue with Alice about it. I could see where she was coming from. I'd often wondered myself if our reactions to her visions weren't causing them to be self-fulfilling prophecies.

"So what was up with that girl you were dancing with?"

"Her name is Kelly. She was asking Jasper to dance, but he was so wrapped up in Bella that he didn't even notice, so I danced with her. That's all there was to it."

"She seemed like a nice girl."

"She was. We had a pleasant conversation. She's a music major, plays the cello. She asked me if I'd help her with one of her classes, but I was so upset when I left that I forgot to exchange information with her." I shrugged nonchalantly.

"Oh well, if she really needs help, she'll either track you down or find someone else." I raised an eyebrow at her, wondering if she saw something to make her say that.

"What?!" Alice asked, offended. "Does no one think I have an original thought in my head? Does EVERYTHING I say have to do with a vision somehow?" She threw her hands up in exasperation. "Ugh!"

I laughed hardily. Alice rolled her eyes at me. "I'm going to hop in the shower before it's time to wake Adrian up. By the way, he told me you made him breakfast yesterday. Way to suck up to the best friend!"

I pouted at her. "I wasn't sucking up. I was trying to be nice." Alice just laughed as she walked away.

**A/N: The NCB Boys are making a quick stop in Houston, and then they are on their way to Charlotte, NC. After their sold out show, they will be giving a private performance to NCMomof2, who correctly identified the Fools Rush In movie quote in the last chapter.**


	14. Chapter 13: Whitlock

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own my OCs, this storyline, and one too many pets.**

**A/N: Thanks as always to my wonderful beta, readingtime. This is for all my LFBs -- I love you guys H&R.**

**Jasper's POV**

"And does it bother you to think after you left, that she probably moved on, married someone else, had his children?" I pictured the mystery girl from my past with someone else, someone I felt I should know as well. They had a small boy between them holding both their hands as they walked down a tree covered lane. A faint feeling of envy ran through me. "See, you don't even have to answer me. I can see it in your face! And that jealousy right there was for a woman from 230 years ago whose name you can't even remember!" She had a point. Bella looked so cute, her hands on her hips, her face scrunched up in determination. I heard Edward laugh from outside, then heard Alice and Adrian convincing him to leave and asking to stay the night at his house. I growled. How dare he eavesdrop on our conversation?!

"Why are you growling at me, Jasper?" Bella looked at me through narrowed eyes as she paced back and forth, filled with anger and frustration.

"I wasn't growling at you, I was growling at Edward. He was outside just now with Alice and Adrian, and apparently found our argument rather humorous." Bella went to the window, flung open the curtains and scanned outside. "They're already gone. We've scared off our roommates, it seems. They're staying at Edward's tonight."

Bella closed the curtains again and leaned her forehead against the glass, sighing. "Great."

I knew what I was doing to her. I was pushing her away, making her choose between Edward's friendship and my love. I was doing the very thing Alice warned me not to do. Yet I couldn't seem to help myself. I stole Bella from Edward. _There, I said it. I admit it_. He did his fair share to push her away, it wasn't all me, but I can't deny that I did everything in my power to make that easier for him. I was waiting with open arms, ready and willing to give her what he could not, and it was the happiest moment of my life when she ran right into them. So how could I not be jealous of her continued affection for Edward? How could I not be worried that he was doing the exact same thing I did; waiting in the wings with open arms, waiting for me to screw up enough to push Bella away so he could steal her back? He even admitted that if she gave him another chance he would take it. Of course he would; he'd be a fool not to.

_Bella loves me. She loves Me_. There was no denying that her feelings for me were real. I felt her love oozing from her every pore whenever we were together, especially when we made love. And I wanted more than anything to make love to her right then, show her how much I love and want and need her. Make her forget about Edward and remember how good we are together. Remind her of one of the ways I differed from him. With that in mind, I pushed a powerful wave of lust at Bella with all my might. Bella's back arched, her knees bent and her head fell back, a soft moan escaping as her hands flew to her throat and slid up into her hair.

"You're not playing fair, Whitlock," Bella purred. Whitlock. It seemed to be her new nickname for me whenever she was teasing me. Whitlock. I liked it. It differentiated me in one more way from him. I decided that when Bella is changed and we get married, I'm going to have Jenks change my name back to Whitlock.

"Come on, darlin', let's not fight," I dropped my voice down a little lower. I stalked slowly, seductively up to her, keeping a continuing flow of lust in her direction. I slid my hand around her waist to the small of her back and pulled her body flush against mine and breathed into her ear. "We've got a bonus night alone, let's not waste it."

Bella shook her head a little, a touch of confusion mixed in with her desire. "We're not done talking yet," she said rather unconvincingly. I turned the lust up another notch.

"Yes we are. You were right. I was wrong." I kissed her, the feeling of her petal soft lips powering my arousal. I let my ability pulsate my feelings to her as I backed her slowly into the wall. "End of discussion."

Bella said not a word, but wrapped my hair around her fingers and kissed me back urgently as she gave in. Her hot tongue caressed mine and I moaned into her mouth as I tilted my head and returned her kiss, my tongue winning the battle for dominance as I released the full force of my power upon her. Bella pulled back, gasping for air, and I shifted my assault to her jawbone, tracing it up to her ear. I loved the feeling of Bella's soft, tiny earlobe between my lips as I sucked it gently, tracing its edges with my tongue. I moved down to the spot just behind her ear that always caused her to make the most beautiful sounds and once again it did not disappoint. I knew every spot like that on her body and I intended to visit them all.

I slowly licked my way down her collarbone, nuzzling my nose against the hollow of her throat before tracing my way back up the other side. I rubbed my thumb in soft circles over the ball of her shoulder while I kissed every inch of sweet flesh I could find. Bella's leg hitched up over my hip and I grabbed it, lifting her up and supporting her so she could do the same with her other leg. Once she was secure, I carried her to our bed and laid her in the middle of it. Her camisole had lifted up, revealing several inches of exposed skin just waiting to be kissed, and I rushed to do so. Bella closed her eyes and gave in to the sensations as I licked a trail along the waistline of her jeans.

"More…" she whispered. I unbuttoned her jeans, taking my time with the zipper before sliding them off her legs, kissing my way up her supple thighs before pausing to suck on the soft spot near her hipbone, once again marking her as mine. Bella lifted her head and chuckled at me for a moment, but said nothing and laid back down. I removed her panties swiftly and rubbed the tip of my nose against her folds. Bella jerked involuntarily and spread her legs a little further in anticipation.

"More…" she whispered again. I separated her lower lips with my finger and traced a circle along her entrance before lowering my tongue to her, caressing her clit and enthusiastically drinking in her arousal, swirling my tongue in random circles.

"More…" she begged. I plunged two fingers inside her warm depths and she lifted her legs, putting her feet on my shoulders, her knees as far spread as she could manage. She lifted her hips, forcing herself into my mouth as I continued worshipping her. I felt her impending orgasm and backed my mouth away.

"More…" she growled, frustrated at being denied when she was so close to climaxing. I raised my body level with hers, her feet still on my shoulders, causing her legs to lift in the air perpendicular to the bed as I wasted no time thrusting into her. Bella screamed in ecstasy and I felt her clamping around me with my very first stroke. I watched her face as she came – she was never more lovely than at those moments.

Her nipples pushed against the pink satin of her camisole, which was now clinging to her body, damp with sweat. I stared at them moving with my thrusts, as I felt my own release explode within me. I gently removed myself from her and rolled onto my back. Bella automatically curled into me and was asleep in seconds. I laid there, wondering how everything had gotten so complicated. Was it just a week ago that I was anxiously anticipating leaving Forks behind to start a new life here? Then the only things bothering me were hiding from Charlie and Bella's rules. Now it seemed I was on pins and needles every moment of the day. Bella's trust in me had been seriously damaged, and my jealousy was reaching a fevered pitch. At the same time, Edward and Bella's friendship seemed to have deepened since our arrival a little too much for my liking. The worst part was, I had absolutely no idea how to fix it.

"No…not again…please…" Bella begged in her dreams. This, too, was a new development this week that I wasn't particularly pleased with. It started the day after she spent the night at Edward's, and has continued every night since. Always the same thing, 'no, not again.' I'd asked her about it, but she didn't remember what the nightmare was about. "No! Edward, please…" Stunned was one word to describe my reaction. Livid was another. I considered waking her up but knew it would serve no purpose, so I stayed, listening, part of me hoping she would continue talking so I could decipher her dream, part of me praying for it to be over before I heard something I didn't want to hear. "Jasper…please don't…" Bella sounded so heartbroken, as though she were in utter agony, but she wasn't saying anything that would help me to interpret the source of her pain. She muttered 'please' and 'not again' a few more times before she drifted back into peaceful sleep.

The next morning Bella woke up grumpy. I thought that it was lack of sleep and attempted to kid her about it when she snapped at me.

"Well, if you don't like that I'm grumpy, why don't you just change my emotions? You're good at that, after all," Bella sneered at me. Oh shit. She actually sneered. I don't think I'd ever seen a human look scary until that moment.

"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry. It's just that things have been so messed up this week, I just wanted us to forget about all the drama for a while and just be 'Jasper and Bella' again."

Bella was unrelenting. "I'd like to think that there's more to 'Jasper and Bella' than just sex. We have some real issues to work through, and the only way that's going to happen is to talk through them. Tricking me into sleeping with you is not the way to solve anything."

I felt dirty. Tainted. "Tricked you?" The words caught in my throat. "Don't say it like that. You make it sound like I got you drunk and took advantage of you. You've always enjoyed sharing our emotions when we make love."

"Yes, I do, when we're already being intimate and I know it's coming. Last night was completely different. You used your power as a diversion tactic. I was so instantly aroused I'm surprised I didn't masturbate in front of you right then and there." The image of Bella, naked and touching herself, would not be denied. Bella must have sensed it, because her eyes trailed down to my arousal and she smirked. "Such a typical guy reaction. Can you just focus for two minutes? I am really upset about this."

"I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have done that. It won't happen again." I hung my head in remorse. It pained me for Bella to think I tricked her into having sex with me. It made me feel like a pervert, a sexual deviant.

Blessedly, Alice and Adrian walked in the door, cutting off our conversation. The four of us sat around playing monopoly for a couple of hours. Bella was still really upset at first, but as the game continued she started to relax. It was nice, just the four of us. The conversation flowed and we just had fun for a while. At least, until we started talking about our schedules for the week.

Adrian spoke first. "Guys, if it's alright with you, we'd like to have Alice hunt on Thursday instead of Friday. I would just rather sleep at home the night before my game, you know?"

"That's fine by me," Bella said and I nodded my agreement. I liked Fridays because we both had off the next day and Bella could stay up late and not worry about sleeping in the next day, but I could understand where that wouldn't be ideal for Adrian.

"Jasper, I assume you're still hunting on Monday since Tuesday's your short day?" Alice asked.

"No, not this week. I'm not really all that thirsty, I think I'm going to skip it." All eyes were suddenly upon me. If I went to hunt, that meant Bella was staying at Hotel Edward. Not. Going. To. Happen.

"What do you mean, you're not thirsty? Your eyes sure look like you're thirsty," Alice asked, her voice laced with suspicion.

"I don't need to hunt. It's not that bad. I've gone a lot longer than a week before." I tried to make my voice as authoritative as possible. I wanted this conversation over.

"Yes, you have, but not when you're attending classes at a crowded university, and certainly not since you've had a delicious smelling human lying next to you in bed every night." Alice was starting to get angry. I didn't see what the big deal was.

"Dude, you've had two nights alone with Bella already, and you're going to have a third on Thursday. I've only had one night alone with Ally, and now you're telling me that because you're not thirsty, we don't get our night alone this week? How is that fair?" Adrian was pissed.

"Fine. You want a night alone, then Bella and I will get a hotel one night this week, how's that?" I crossed my arms, quite pleased with my solution. Bella and I would have two nights alone, she wouldn't be at Edward's, and Alice and Adrian would still get their alone time. Perfect.

"NO," Bella stated, a quiet command. She said it with such conviction that I was momentarily stunned.

"What do you mean, no?" I asked after I recovered.

"I mean, No. I'm not going to a hotel with you this week. No. You are not avoiding hunting just so I won't go to Edward's. No. I'm staying at Edward's tomorrow as planned. Hunt or don't hunt, it's up to you, just don't sit around here and ruin their night together." Bella stood and walked away, having seen right through me. I listened as she went into our room and called Edward to make sure he was okay with Adrian changing his night to Thursday and confirming that she would be there tomorrow in time for dinner. The conversation was completely innocent and yet it made my skin crawl.

"Hello? Earth to Jasper!" Alice waved her hand in front of my face, snapping me back to attention.

"What's going on with you? We're both worried about you." Adrian nodded his head in agreement.

"I don't know, honestly. It's just that ever since we moved here, I've been feeling more and more insecure about my relationship with Bella. I'm scared to death that it's all just going to disappear, and I don't know how to stop it. I wasn't trying to be unfair to you, I just don't want her spending any more time alone with Edward than absolutely necessary."

"It's no different…" Alice started.

"You've already used that one on me once, Alice. It IS different than you and I being alone. Adrian knows he has nothing to fear from me. I can't say the same about Edward."

Alice exhaled a large puff of air, conceding defeat on that point.

Once again, Adrian the Sage and Wise came up with words of wisdom out of the blue. "Forget about Edward. Focus on yourself. Your relationship with Bella was built on trust. Her trust with you was shaken with that whole 'I plotted to kill you' thing. You don't want to do anything to make it worse." I thought back to our argument this morning, where she was angry at me for using my powers to turn her on. She had always trusted me to not use my ability without her permission, and I broke that trust. I hung my head in shame. "Shit, man. I know that look. What happened? What did you do?"

"Last night we were fighting about, well, you know. You heard. Anyway, I just wanted it to be over. I needed to hold her and kiss her and tell her I love her. So I…well, I…used my powers to distract her."

"You did WHAT?!" Alice leaped from her chair at the same time Adrian did. I jumped back in shock as Alice stepped between us, restraining Adrian.

"Tell me that you did not use your ability like a fucking roofie to date rape my best friend, you sick motherfucker!"

I was floored. "I didn't, I mean it wasn't like that. I mean, she was angry this morning, but…" That's not what happened! Was it?

"Of course she was angry! What is wrong with you??? You know better than that!" Alice was growling at me and Adrian was still trying to push his way past her with all his might.

"Stop." Bella came back into the room, looking sad and solemn. She had her leather riding jacket over her arm. "Please. Just stop. I can't take any more fighting." Adrian quit jumping around behind Alice but was still glaring at me angrily, as was Alice.

I turned to her full of remorse and shame. "Bella, I…"

"No, Jasper. Not now. I'm going out for a while." Bella turned on her heel and walked out the door without another sound. I collapsed on the floor when I heard Bella's motorcycle speed away.

**A/N: All my J/B fans -- don't kill me! Adrian is actually much more pissed off than Bella. He's not as used to dealing with vamps and their powers the way Bella is. Bella is upset, but she's not looking at it quite the same way. The Cullendales are now in Sunny Cincinnati, Ohio! You never know where they may end up next! Oh, and don't forget to vote for the Eddie/Bellie awards -- the link is on my profile! **


	15. Chapter 14: Flaws

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own my OCs, this storyline, and Connor O'Brien's Soliloquy album, which I love.**

**A/N: Thanks as always to my wonderful beta, readingtime.**

**Edward's POV**

It was just past sunset and I was lying on the couch listening to "Without You (I Can't Breathe)" when I heard Jasper's bike, and what sounded like sniffling. I looked out the window and realized that it wasn't Jasper's bike at all; it was Bella's. Even from a distance, I could see that she was crying. Based on the direction she was heading, I guessed she was probably heading home, but I wasn't going to wait and find out. I bolted outside and was waiting at the end of the driveway for her to reach my house.

Bella stopped in front of me, but didn't turn into the driveway. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffled loudly as she inhaled. "Edward. What are you doing out here?"

"I could ask the same of you. Why are you riding around by yourself after dark? And more importantly why are you crying?"

"I was trying to calm myself down. I really wanted to take a nice, long ride and just forget about things for a while, but I was too shaken up to drive, so I ended up just going down the block and turning around."

I stood there for a moment, trying to decide what to do. Bella was really upset about something, but she wasn't exactly volunteering information and I didn't want to pry. She would tell me when she was ready. Still, I hated to see her like this. I wanted to do something to dry those tears. Suddenly, an idea struck me.

"Bella, will you take me for a ride?"

Bella looked at me as though I'd just asked her to scale the Eiffel Tower. "Huh? Wha…What?" She shook her head in disbelief.

"Bella…would…you…take…me…for…a…ride…on…your…motorcycle? I've always wanted to learn how to ride, but have never gotten around to it. You said you were too shaken up to drive by yourself, but if I were riding with you, I could keep us from crashing if need be. What do you say?"

She still looked stunned, but she recovered a little faster this time. "Uh…okay. Hop on?" She looked as though she were waiting for me to change my mind. I chuckled a little at that. "Give me your coat."

"Why? It's cold out, especially when the bike is moving."

"Bella, trust me. Please?" She took off her coat and I took it inside, returning with one of my heavier coats. "Wear this one instead, that way your coat won't smell like me when you go home. I'm sure you'd prefer to explain without Jasper jumping to the wrong conclusion before you even get the chance." I threw my leg over the seat and settled in behind her on the bike while Bella shrugged on my coat and pushed the sleeves up.

"Alright. I'm on. Now what?"

"Put your feet on the rests, you'll have to shove them down with your heel. Then hold onto me. Lean when I lean. You'll see." I tentatively wrapped my arms around Bella's waist and tried unsuccessfully to think innocent thoughts. Bella slowly turned the bike around and headed back in the direction from whence she came, effectively avoiding her house.

She was still sniffling and shaking a little for the first few minutes we were riding, but then she calmed down. She was actually a really good rider, and I could see why she enjoyed this so much. It was a similar sensation to when I was running, the freedom you can only feel when the wind is beating against your face and the scenery is flashing by in a blur. But I also understood now why for Bella, this was better than when I would carry her when I ran. Here, Bella was in control, the beast below her sped up and slowed down at her command, and she loved it. By the time we hit the highway, Bella was laughing into the wind. She lowered her upper body a hair and hit the throttle. The bike shot like a rocket. I glanced at the speedometer and she was going just over 100mph. I hoped she was only doing that because I was riding with her. Still, I _was_ with her, so I vowed to myself not to worry and just enjoy it. And enjoy it I did. It felt so natural, riding together this way, leaning into the turns in sync. It was like a dance, and Bella was leading. We rode around for a couple of hours with no particular destination in mind. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had that much fun. I heard the thoughts of a police officer up ahead. I leaned forward and shouted over her shoulder.

"Bella, slow down, there's a speed trap up ahead." Bella nodded and brought us down to just under the speed limit right before we passed the policeman with the radar. Unexpectantly, Bella pulled off at the next exit.

"I'm hungry," she yelled over the engine. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not." Bella pulled into the nearest Bob Evans restaurant and parked just outside the door.

"I need some comfort food," she stated simply. We were seated at a quiet booth and Bella ordered a coffee and large stack of pancakes with bacon.

"If you want to talk, I'm here to listen," I pointed out what I hoped was obvious.

"Jasper and I had a fight, that's all, and then Alice and Adrian started fighting with him too, and it was all too much to take. I just had to get away for a while. Clear my head." She looked down at her coffee as though it were the most fascinating thing she had ever seen. "So why were you standing in your driveway when I rode by?"

"I heard the bike approach, and then I heard you crying. I came out to see what was wrong. Should I have not done that?"

"No…I'm glad you did. My bike kind of found its way to your house, I guess, but I wasn't going to stop. I would have kept going if I hadn't seen you there."

"Well, then I'm glad I went outside. I had a lot of fun riding with you." She looked just as surprised as I was to find that to be true.

"Yeah, it is a blast, isn't it? It can get my mind off of just about anything. It's even better than sex." She looked up in horror at her own words and must have seen how I winced before I could stop myself. "Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry. That was a stupid thing to say."

"Nothing to forgive. I myself found it to be quite thrilling and I can see where it would be therapeutic. As far as _how_ therapeutic it is…I guess I'll just have to take your word for it." I smiled shyly. Bella blushed and looked back down to her coffee. "So, if you don't mind my asking, what exactly were you two fighting about?" I asked tentatively.

"I don't know if I should tell you that." Bella was biting her lower lip, hard.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry, I just thought maybe I could help."

"Oh, no, you're not prying, it's just that I don't want to give you and Jasper any more reasons to fight. You're doing a fine job of coming up with them on your own." She sounded a tad angry and bitter.

"Oh, that. I must admit, I did hear some of that argument last night. Is that what you were crying about? I'm sorry, it might have been my fault. I hoped that since you had danced with Adrian and Jasper was okay with it, that he would be okay with me asking you to dance as well. It was naïve of me, I admit."

"That was just one small part of it," Bella whispered. "What exactly did you hear last night?"

I took a deep breath and reminded myself of my vow to always be honest with Bella. Besides, as awkward as this was bound to be, I really wanted to know just as much as Jasper did why she reacted the way she did.

"I heard Jasper accuse you of being jealous that I was dancing with Kelly," I admitted.

Bella's eyes shot up to mine for a split second and turned right back down. "Is that her name?" she asked. The sadness was dripping in her voice.

I reached across and almost grabbed her hand, but thought better of it and brought my hand back. "Were you?" I asked softly.

"Yes," she sounded as if the very word were strangling her. "I'm sorry, I know I have no right. You deserve someone too, you deserve to be happy, especially after everything I put you through…"

I reached across the table again, but this time I laid my hand over hers. She didn't pull away, just started staring at our hands instead of at the coffee. "Bella, stop. We've been over this. We both made mistakes."

"No, we really haven't been over this. I mean, I know what you said at the meadow, but after last week when we spent all that time talking about things in my diary you felt you needed to apologize for, I started making a mental list of all the things I know I need to apologize for too. Plus, I'm sure that like you with the diary, there are things I need to apologize for that I wasn't even aware of at the time."

"Well, how about this? Tomorrow when you come over, we'll split the time. We'll talk about the diary and the things it made me think about this week. Then afterwards we can talk about this list of yours. I'll even make up a list of my own for us to discuss. Sound fair?"

Bella looked up at me and smiled a little, then looked down again. "Sure. That is, if Jasper doesn't lock me up in a hotel tomorrow."

"What do you mean, Bella?" I felt the hairs on the back of my neck go up.

"Jasper said he's not going to hunt this week. Said he's not thirsty, but I know better. I know it's just because he doesn't want me to spend time with you. He hates that we're friends. So I told him I was going to your place whether he went or not. That didn't go over very well."

"I wouldn't imagine that it would," I squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"Well, between that and the whole roofie thing, everyone in the house is just fighting nonstop. I thought it would be so perfect, the four of us living together. So far it's been anything but."

"Wait a minute, back up. What 'roofie' thing? Did someone drug you at the club?!" Bella didn't sounded incapacitated when she was arguing with Jasper, but still.

"No, no. Nothing like that. Jasper and I were fighting last night and he just wanted the fight to be over, I guess, so he used his powers to distract me." Bella blushed furiously, her head not moving up at all. "Adrian compared it to using a roofie on me to get what he wanted, but I didn't see it like that. I mean, it pissed me off because I really wanted to resolve the argument, but I didn't see it as date rape the way Adrian did. I saw it more like seduction to the Jasper degree." It was painfully clear to me then. I wasn't sure how to feel about it. On one hand, I really wanted to be angry for what he did. But on the other hand, how many times had we used Jasper's powers to gain control over a volatile situation? It was second nature. We'd used his abilities in fights with vampires, werewolves, and humans alike. Of course, we usually used them to calm someone down, not…turn them on. But I had to admit I could see where he would do that without giving it a thought. I still didn't like it, but I understood it.

"Bella, I can see where Adrian is coming from, honestly I can. I don't think what Jasper did was right. But I have to tell you, we've used his powers to diffuse arguments so many times that it's most probably a very natural thing for him to do. I'm sure he wasn't intentionally trying to take advantage of you. He probably just didn't think about what he was doing. Did you feel…violated?"

"No, I didn't. I was just mad that I didn't get to finish the fight, because I was right and he knew it," she chuckled a little. "Does it make me pathetic?"

I chuckled along with her. "No, it doesn't make you pathetic. It makes you even more understanding and wonderful than you already were. Besides, your reactions to things have never exactly been normal. That's why you fit in so well with us to begin with."

Bella looked up and met my gaze then. "Thank you for sticking up for Jasper, and for understanding. He hasn't exactly been nice to you lately, so it would have been really easy to throw him under the bus, but you didn't. Just like you didn't about the car accident."

"You're really upset about that, aren't you? I'm sorry. Should I not have told you? I just thought we had vowed to be honest and open with each other, so I was. I don't want to lie to you anymore, Bella. About anything."

"Yes, I am really upset about it. But I'm glad you told me. Please don't feel like you have to hide things to protect me. You promised not to do that again, remember?"

"Yes, I do remember." Bella's food came then and she gave the waitress a grateful smile before smothering the pancakes in syrup and diving in. "She didn't mean anything, you know. It was just a dance. As a matter of fact, it wasn't even me she had asked to dance."

"What?" Bella looked a little confused.

"Kelly. The girl at the club. She was asking Jasper to dance. You two seemed to be having a moment, so I danced with her to keep her from interrupting you. That's all it was."

"I see." Bella said between bites. She seemed to be smiling a little more, but that was probably about the pancakes. "Well, thank you, I guess. That was nice of you to sacrifice yourself that way for us." _Ahh, now she's teasing me_.

"Well, it wasn't exactly a sacrifice, I'll admit. She was quite lovely, and we had a nice conversation. She's a music major here." Bella bit her bottom lip and I held in a smirk. "She asked me if I would help her with a composition for one of her classes. She is writing a piano/cello duet."

Bella choked on her bite and furrowed her brow. "Oh? How nice," she said, sounding like it was anything but. As much fun as I was having with it, I couldn't bring myself to tease her any more.

"Bella, why are you jealous of her? Is it what you told Jasper? Is it just because she's the first person you've seen me with?" Bella's lips drew into a thin line as she bit both lips between her teeth. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she answered.

"Partially. I realize it's selfish of me. I can't expect you to…I mean…you said, but…UGH! Forget that. The other part is that I just always thought that she was the type of girl you deserved. Perfect. I'm not like that, and it made me feel inferior."

I squeezed her hand again, and she looked up at me through bloodshot eyes. "Bella, you are not inferior. You never have been. Not in any way. Are you perfect? No. You're not. Neither am I. You loved me anyway, right?" Bella nodded her head. I reached out with my free hand and held her pendant up to her. "You see this? It's my heart, and it is cold and dead and has many, many flaws, whether you can see them or not. But it's _yours_. It always has been, and always will be. I didn't add that little charm on there for nothing, you know." I set it back against her collarbone gently and sat back in my seat, praying I hadn't said too much. This honesty thing was a little nervewracking at times. She smiled serenely at me, and we fell into a relatively comfortable silence as she finished eating.

We hopped on the bike and before I knew it we were back in front of my house. I got off and ran inside to retrieve her jacket so we could trade back. I tried to give her a kiss on the cheek, but it was a little awkward with her helmet on, so my lips ended up on her jawbone instead. Bella gasped, but didn't say anything.

"Helmet," I said, tapping it with my finger, a little embarrassed. Bella blushed a beautiful shade of pink but nodded understandingly. "I had a great time tonight, Bella. Maybe when you come over tomorrow we can go for another ride if the weather looks agreeable?"

"Maybe. Thanks for listening, Edward. I didn't realize just how much I needed a friend tonight." _Friend. Ouch_.

"Anytime, love. I'm always here for you." Bella just nodded and drove away. I noticed that she didn't cringe this time when I called her 'love.' I smiled to myself as I walked back into the house, inhaling her scent on my coat. My smile faded a little as I thought about the list I'd promised to make Bella of things that bothered me when we were together. I didn't want to reopen old wounds, but she was right. I was learning from the past. If she wanted to do the same, I wouldn't deny her the opportunity. I would be honest with her and see where it took us. With great trepidation, I sat at my desk and began to write.

**A/N: The Cullendales thoroughly enjoyed all the fans at the Cincinnati show. My deepest apologies (or congratulations as the case may be) to the few who were bitten while they were there. Sometimes they get a little carried away with their lap dances. The Naked Cullen Boys can next be seen at The Horseshoe Stadium in Columbus, Ohio! I still have a few VIP passes to hand out to my favorite Ohio State girls...Enjoy!**


	16. Chapter 15: Phish Food

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own my OCs, this storyline, and an obscene number of cookbooks.**

**A/N: A very special thanks to my beta, readingtime. You are loved, chicka. This chapter is dedicated to Mari, for making me smile.**

**Jasper's POV**

I sat on our bed, twirling the ring between my fingers. Bella's last birthday present. An engagement ring. When I'd purchased it, I had little doubt she would say yes. Now I wasn't so sure. I wished I could ask Alice, but knew she wouldn't tell me. She wouldn't even tell me where Bella was right now. I wanted to follow her the moment she left, but thought it might be best to let her have her alone time. After all, it was pretty obvious that she was trying to get away from me. But with Bella gone for several hours now, I couldn't help but worry. I kept repeating to myself that if Bella were in trouble, Alice would tell me.

How did so much change in such a short period of time? I realized that the fault rested squarely in my lap. My jealousy had really gotten the better of me. I needed to find a way to come to terms with her friendship with Edward. Bella has tried so hard to keep my entire family happy and together, and all I've done is throw it back in her face because of my own insecurities. But I just can't seem to help myself. _I can't lose Bella over this. I have got to get a grip_. I swore to myself to not be the one to make Bella be caught in the middle anymore. I wouldn't make her choose. If she wanted to be friends with Edward, then I would have to deal with it.

Then there was the whole argument last night and how I went about ending it. I didn't want to talk about the mystery girl from my human life. I didn't want to argue about Edward. Again. I just wanted to make love to my girlfriend. After the argument with Bella and then Adrian this morning, I realized that I went about it the wrong way, but I still couldn't see it the way Adrian did. I prayed that Bella didn't see it that way either.

I heard the door open and then Bella's footsteps coming up the stairs. I jumped up off the bed and put the ring in my pocket. When she reached the doorway she stopped. I started to walk over to her, but she put her hand up to stop me.

"Stay there for a minute," she commanded. "Please," she said a little softer. I nodded and she smiled a little. _That's a good sign_.

"First of all, I want to tell you that I disagree with Adrian's assessment of what happened last night. It doesn't mean I'm happy about it. You betrayed my trust and unfairly used your powers to your advantage. Before last night you had always treated me as an equal. I don't feel like an equal now. I feel like just another susceptible human, easily controlled and manipulated at your whim. It's not a good feeling."

"I'm sorry, Bella, really I am. It was not my intention. I don't want you to ever feel that way around me, you must know that."

Bella nodded her head at me. "I do. That's why I am putting my faith in you that it won't happen again." I took a step in her direction and she stopped me again.

"We never finished our argument from last night. I am tired of fighting about Edward. You know how I feel about you. You can feel it. I'm worn out from trying to convince you of what should be obvious to you. I'm also tired of trying to make everyone happy. I have spent so much energy walking on eggshells that I'm completely exhausted. 'Is Edward hurt?' 'Is Jasper jealous?' Now I have to worry about you and Adrian being at each others' throats, too. He isn't just going to let this go, Jasper, no matter how many times I tell him I've forgiven you for it."

"I know."

"Well, I can't do it anymore. I'm not just going to cut Edward out of my life, Jasper. He's a good friend to me, and to you too, even if you don't see it."

"How do you mean, Bella?"

"I saw Edward tonight. He…"

"You WHAT?"

"Are you going to let me explain or are you going to go off the deep end again?" Bella's eyes narrowed and she stood tall.

I took a deep breath. "You're right, I apologize for interrupting. Please continue."

"I went for a ride but wasn't exactly in the best state of mind to be driving, so I turned around and was coming back home when I passed Edward in front of his house. He went for a ride with me so I could blow off some steam, and then he sat with me so I could get something to eat. I told him about our argument and about Adrian's reaction, and he defended you, Jasper. Edward. Defended. You. I want you to let that sink in for a minute. He didn't need to do that. With the way you have treated him lately, he would have been well within his rights to jump on the roofie bandwagon, but he didn't." That was the second time in a week that Edward had surprised me.

"You're right, Bella. I must admit I'm surprised that he didn't beat you back here and try to rip me to pieces. I've got to give him credit for that. You really didn't go to his house intentionally to talk to him?" Bella shook her head.

"No, I really didn't. He heard my bike coming and heard me crying and stood in the street waiting for me. I saw him standing there and stopped to find out what he was doing. It was completely innocent." I looked in her eyes then, holding back tears, and saw her sincerity.

"I trust you, Bella."

"Do you really, Jasper?"

"Yes, really. I can't promise to never be jealous of Edward again. But I can promise to make more of an effort rein it in. I don't want this to be harder on you than it already is." Bella ran into my arms then, crashing against my chest and wrapping her arms around my neck, peppering my face with kisses. I could detect a faint trace of Edward's scent on her skin, and for the first time in a week, it didn't set me off. I didn't care. Bella was in my arms and that was all that mattered to me.

"Where are Alice and Adrian?" Bella asked.

"They went to Polaris to go shopping. I guess you weren't the only one that needed to blow off some steam."

"UGH! I'm afraid. Very afraid. Remember the last time they went shopping to cool off? I ended up with half the Stella McCartney spring collection! Even that ugly handkerchief skirt!" Bella and I laughed, truly relaxed now that we'd come to a resolution.

Alice and Adrian came in shortly thereafter laden with bags. We met them downstairs hand in hand. Adrian looked at our entwined fingers and scoffed. "Hey, Hells Bells. How was your ride?"

"It was good, thanks."

"Yeah, Alice said it would be," Adrian muttered.

"Huh?" Bella tilted her head in question.

"Never mind. If it's alright with you, I'd like to have a moment alone with your boyfriend."

"As long as you promise that you're not going to require a visit to the emergency room when you get done. First semester of pre-med doesn't exactly make me qualified to set broken bones, you know," Bella teased. Adrian rolled his eyes at her and pulled her into a tight hug with one hand on the back of her head. He held her for a long time, and I could see him shaking.

"You're really okay?" he whispered in her ear, not loosening his grip on her.

"Yes, I'm really okay. I feel much better now. Thanks for jumping up to defend my honor, though." Bella gave him the smile that was reserved exclusively for her best friend, then grabbed the bags he dropped to follow Alice up to her room. Adrian and I sat down in the living room and I waited patiently for him to begin. He leaned his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together. I noticed his muscles were taut and his knuckles were white. It was a strain for him to remain calm.

"Look, Dude. You know I've always been in your corner, right? But Bella comes first, and man, you're screwing up royally. Starting a fight with Edward at the bar, fighting with her after the club, and then the whole 'make her so horny she forgets why she's mad at me' thing. Not. Kosher. If Bella forgives you, I will too, but personally, I think she went easy on you. I just want that on the record right now."

"Point taken."

"Good, because next time I'm taking a torch to your ass." Adrian stood up and extended his hand to me. "We cool?"

I stood and shook his hand. "Yeah, we're cool. Hey, can I ask you your opinion on something?"

"Yeah, sure. What's up?" I took the ring out of my pocket and showed it to him. His eyes got wide as he took it between his thumb and his forefinger.

"Day-am, that's some rock, Jasper! Fine work, my friend. Fine work."

"Do you think she'll say yes?"

"When are you going to ask her?"

"Thursday, when you go to Hotel Edward. It's the night before her birthday, so I thought that I would take her out for a romantic evening and then surprise her."

"Well, then I think your chances are pretty good, as long as you manage to suck it up when she goes to Edward's tomorrow."

I kissed the ring and put it back in the pocket. "Thanks, man."

"Good luck, Jazz." Adrian headed up the stairs and I heard the girls squeal as he opened the door. He quickly shut it again and came back down, red-faced, with a skirt hanging off his head and shoulder haphazardly. "That's what I get for not knocking first," he mumbled. We decided to play Assassin's Creed while we waited for the girls to finish up.

Bella and Alice came down a little while later, giggling. Adrian blushed worse than Bella. Alice ruffled his hair as she walked around the couch then plopped down on the floor between his legs. Bella headed for the kitchen.

"Bells Baby! Is there any Ben and Jerry's left?" Adrian yelled over his shoulder in the general vicinity of the kitchen.

"Yeah," she yelled back, slightly muffled since her head was in the freezer. "Do you want Chunky Monkey or Chubby Hubby?"

"Are we out of Phish Food?" He hollered.

"We didn't have Phish Food here. Edward has it at his place, along with Cherry Garcia."

"Damn. Okay, Chunky Monkey. I don't care how yummy it is, I can't eat anything called Chubby Hubby. And don't go eating all the Phish Food tomorrow, either. Save some of that shit for me."

Bella laughed as she brought her and Adrian each out a quart of ice cream and a spoon. She eyed me warily, no doubt gauging my reaction to the mention of Edward. I smiled my most sincere smile, and felt her relax immediately. She turned back to Adrian. "If you want Phish Food so bad, why don't you just go to the store and get some? Besides, aren't you supposed to be eating healthy right now?"

Adrian took a big spoonful of ice cream and then replied with his mouth full. "Game's not for six more days, Warning Bells."

The girls decided they wanted to play too, so we turned off Assassin's Creed and loaded up Mario Kart. Bella and Alice put us to shame, always taking the top two spots. After falling off of Rainbow Road for the hundredth time, Adrian decided to call it a night. Once he started yawning, Bella followed suit, and we all headed for bed. I would have liked to make love to Bella and start erasing the memory of last night, but she wasn't ready yet, and I wasn't going to push her. So we cuddled and I sang her "She's Everything" while she fell asleep.

Normally, Alice and I venture downstairs for a while after Bella and Adrian have fallen asleep, but tonight I didn't feel compelled to move. I just wanted to hold Bella in my arms for every minute that I could and hope that tomorrow was a better day. Bella was going to Edward's, and my reaction to that was going to be critical to rebuilding her trust in me. It wasn't going to be an easy thing to do, but I would do it for her.

My resolve was tested the next morning when we entered the garage to leave for school. Edward's scent was all over her bike. Edward had gone for a ride with her. Bella had told me that last night, hadn't she? Somehow in the midst of everything else, I let that slip by. But it was slapping me in the face now. Edward had gone riding with Bella on the motorcycle I bought her for her birthday. I seethed with anger and envy and had to close my eyes and hold my breath for a few seconds to regain my composure.

"Jasper? Is everything alright?" Bella looked at me, concerned.

"Yes, darlin'. I'm fine. Let's take the truck today, if that's alright with you?" Bella shrugged in indifference.

When we got to school, Edward was leaning against a tree by the stadium waiting for us. He looked at Bella and raised an eyebrow as if to say 'Is everything alright?'. When Bella smiled and gave him a slight nod, he positively beamed back at her before pushing off the tree and falling in stride with us. It was at that moment I realized that I truly hated Edward Cullen. This was going to be much harder than I thought.

After Bella and Edward went inside for their Biology lecture, I headed to American History. Kelly smiled at me as I entered and then ducked her head. I felt a shot of lust from her, but it was quickly doused. She must have been thinking about Edward.

"Hey," she said as she took out her book.

"Howdy. Did you have a nice time at the club?"

"Yes, I did. You?"

"For the most part. I wanted to thank you for dancing with my brother. He doesn't get out much these days. You looked very nice together."

Kelly furrowed her brows in confusion. "Didn't he tell you?" Now I was the one confused.

"Tell me what?"

"Jasper, I wasn't asking Edward to dance. I was asking you. I think Edward was just taking pity on me when you didn't seem to notice." Kelly looked away, embarrassed.

"Hey, look at me, please. I'm sorry. It was the first dance I'd had alone with my girlfriend all night. I would never intentionally ignore a pretty lady like yourself." She smiled, and I felt a little better. "Still, you and Edward did seem to hit it off pretty well, didn't you?"

"I suppose so. He seemed nice enough." Kelly shrugged her shoulders.

"Maybe I could hook you guys up and the four of us could go out sometime?"

"Are you really doing this for me, or do you have an ulterior motive?" Well, of course I did. But there was no reason for her to know that.

"Such as?"

"Oh, I don't know," she replied loftily. "Distracting Edward from his ex who just happens to be your girlfriend, perhaps? Hmmm?" Damn. Caught. I looked at her sheepishly.

"Sorry, no can do, cowboy. I give you an A for effort, though," Kelly winked at me. I was about to reply but the professor started the lecture. We were doing geneology for the next couple of weeks. Fantastic. I love it when I have to completely make up my family tree. It's not like I could exactly admit to being born in 1843.

**A/N: Not wanting to show preferential treatment, The Naked Cullen Boys have taken their Cullendales show to Ann Arbor, Michigan to give some Cullen style loving to the maize and blue! The next chapter will be Bella at Hotel Edward. Love you guys! Oh, and a link to a picture of the engagement ring is on my profile if you're interested, as is a link to the ballot for the Eddie/Bellie Awards. If you haven't voted yet, you still have time (hint hint, nudge nudge). They have extended the deadline due to the FF crash last weekend.**


	17. Chapter 16: Pieces

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own my OCs, this storyline, and an 80G iPod that I can't live without. Speaking of music, there is a theme song for this chapter, and I give credit to NiceIceEdward for expanding my musical repertoire. It is called Pieces by Red. Check it out.**

**A/N: Readingtime, I don't know what I'd do without you, even if you do spend way too much time pondering. LOL Sorry about not getting this out sooner, my computer decided to delete this chapter on me. All 6,500 words of it (my longest ever, by the way). I had to recreate the entire chapter from scratch.**

**Edward's POV**

I was so relieved to see Bella smiling when I met them in front of the stadium. I was afraid that Jasper would be angry with her when he found out that Bella and I went riding last night. Even without wearing her jacket, he would still have been able to smell me on her as soon as she got close to him. Trading jackets only served to give her a little more time to explain. It also had the fringe benefit of making my jacket smell wonderfully of freesia.

Jasper may have worked things out with Bella, but he was definitely angry at me. Even though his expression appeared calm, his thoughts were anything but. I was shocked when he thought he 'truly hated' me. That was a little harsh, I thought. Jasper had betrayed me in the worst way. He had taken away everything that was dear to me without so much as a second thought. In my opinion, he knew exactly where the chinks in my armor were and aimed directly at them in his quest for Bella. Yet I never attacked him, never really confronted him at all. I took the high road, as much as it pained me to do so, because he loved Bella, and I conceded that in my state of mind at the time, he was the better choice for her. All things considered, his anger at my friendship with Bella felt completely unwarranted and was honestly beginning to irritate me. Hadn't he already taken enough from me? Was it too much to ask to at least maintain a friendship with Bella? Still, I thought about how I would have felt if the tides were turned, and I could understand where he was coming from. I waited until we were settled into our seats for our Biology lecture before asking her what happened.

"So everything went alright when you got home, Bella?"

"Yes, we talked things through. I wanted to thank you again for being there for me last night, Edward. You have no idea how much it meant to me." Bella smiled at me gratefully. It warmed my heart.

"Anytime, Bella, I hope you know that. Can you do me a favor, though?"

Bella tilted her head a little. "Sure. What's up?"

"The next time you feel like you're not up to driving but need to get away, come straight to my house, please? I don't like the idea of you riding your bike alone when you're so upset." Bella rolled her eyes at me.

"Ever the overprotective Edward."

"Granted, and I'm working on that, really I am, but in this case I think it falls under the category of just 'protective.' You said yourself last night you were too shaken up to drive. Besides, I really liked riding with you. Maybe next time you can teach me how to drive." I didn't really think I needed instruction, it seemed straight forward enough, but it couldn't hurt, and Bella beamed with pride at the idea of being able to teach me something.

"Okay, Edward, I promise. Hopefully I won't feel the need to run again."

"I agree. I hated seeing you so distressed." I really did. As much as I cherished our time together last night, I would rather we be able to spend time like that together without her sorrow as a catalyst. "So…what would you like for dinner tonight?"

"You don't have to cook for me, Edward. I'm more than capable, you know."

"I know. I do enjoy it, though, so it's no bother. Besides, I was really just wondering whether I had to stop at the store on my way home. But if you would rather cook for yourself, I'm certainly not stopping you."

"No, that's alright. I did love that sauce you made last week, and I certainly wouldn't want to interfere with you learning new things." She was referring to cooking, but it occurred to me that she might have also been referring to me wanting to learn how to ride her motorcycle. I smiled at the thought of getting to spend more time riding with Bella. "Why don't you surprise me?"

I looked at her with my jaw dropped. "Did Isabella Swan actually just utter the words…_Surprise_ _Me_?" I looked at my watch. "No, time hasn't stood still. Maybe I should go outside and make sure the Earth hasn't started spinning off its axis…" Bella stuck her tongue out at me playfully and I had to laugh out loud. I was still chuckling to myself when the professor started the lecture.

As usual, we parted ways later in the day and I headed for Music Appreciation. I was humming to myself as I walked down the hall. A voice from behind startled me out of my reverie.

"That's beautiful, what is it?" I turned around to find Kelly, dragging along her cello case as usual. I took it out of her hand and she sighed gratefully. "Thanks. You'd think I'd be used to lugging that thing around by now. That song you were humming, what is it?" _It would blend in perfectly with the duet I'm writing for my class._

"Oh, that. It's a song I had started to write for Bella before we broke up. I never finished it." I shrugged, my happiness fading a little. It surprised me that I found myself being so honest with this girl.

"I'm sorry. I put my foot in my mouth all the time. You'll have to forgive me."

"Don't worry about it. You had no way of knowing. I'm glad I ran into you. I wanted to apologize. I left rather abruptly the other day at the club. Did you still need help with your composition?"

"Yes, actually, I could really use the help. I can play any piece of music put in front of me, and do it expressively, conveying whatever emotion the music is supposed to evoke. But when it comes down to turning my own emotions into music, something gets lost in the translation."

"It's a hard thing to do sometimes. I'd be happy to help you. What's your schedule?"

_Thank God. If those few stanzas he was humming were any indication, he could help me ace this for sure. _"I'm free tonight, is that too soon?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I already have plans tonight. It's not due for a while, right?" Kelly nodded in agreement. I tried to figure out a good time. Bella was coming over tonight, so that obviously wouldn't work. Adrian would be there Thursday. Bella's birthday was Friday and Alice invited me over for a small celebration that she promised would not include glass plates. Saturday was Adrian's football game against USC. It didn't leave me many options. "In that case, how about Sunday? It would give us a full day to try and narrow down what you want the piece to say and maybe work out the melody."

Kelly stopped outside her classroom and pulled a notebook and pen from her backpack. I set her case down and wrote my address and phone number in her notebook.

"Thanks, Edward. I really appreciate it. I'll see you Sunday around 10?"

"That works. You're very welcome." I turned and started to head for my own class.

"Oh, hey!" Kelly called to me. "I thought you might want to know that your brother tried to set us up on a blind date today. I think he's trying to eliminate the competition." Kelly chuckled at his audacity. I shook my head in disbelief. "And to think I actually had a crush on that guy…"

I shrugged my shoulders noncommittally. "Thanks for the warning."

Kelly waved goodbye and I went on my way. Why on Earth would Jasper do that? Was he actually trying to 'eliminate the competition' as Kelly said? If that's the case, hypocritical doesn't even begin to cover it. Maybe he was just trying to do a nice thing. Somehow I doubted it. Why would he want to do something nice for someone he supposedly hates?

They were covering Vivaldi today in Music Appreciation, so I decided to forgo reading the guide and pay attention. Bella and I already had plenty to discuss tonight. The professor was playing The Four Seasons, which I loved. Each season was unique, with its own sorrow and joy. Personally, I always preferred Spring. It reminded me that even after the harshest winter, things that were dormant and considered dead and gone could once again come to life and blossom, stronger for having survived against the elements.

On my way home, I stopped at the grocery store and picked up the ingredients for raspberry pork chops, roasted potatoes with rosemary and garlic and sugar snap peas. I also picked up a couple of bottles of wine, a cabernet sauvignon and a pinot grigio. That way Bella could choose which one she wanted to try.

After I got home and started the pork chops, I set the music going on the iPod. I was better prepared this time, and set it to my Elvis playlist. Bella always liked Elvis, and it was far less likely to make her cry. I was in the kitchen snapping my fingers and singing along to "Fever" when I heard Bella's motorcycle pull into the drive. I smiled to myself when Bella let herself in without knocking. I leaned over the island. "I'm in here…_Captain Smith and Pocahontas…had a very mad affair_…" Bella laughed and followed me into the kitchen. Soon she was dancing around the kitchen next to me while we put her salad together for her. When the song was over, Bella hopped up on the counter to watch me as I quartered the potatoes.

"That was fun!"

"Yes, it was. Here, you want to peel the garlic?" Bella peeled the garlic cloves while I snipped the rosemary and drizzled it all with olive oil.

"Edward, you're cooking for an army. I'm never going to eat all this!"

"Well, you can take the leftovers home with you, or leave them here and Adrian can have them for dinner on Thursday." I went to the refrigerator and grabbed the two bottles of wine, holding them up to Bella questioningly. Bella pointed at the pinot.

"So did Jasper actually go hunting, or is he still trying to starve himself?" I asked as I uncorked the wine and poured her a glass.

Bella took a tentative sip. "Mmmm, that's good, thanks. He said he'd go. Hopefully he does." Bella shrugged her shoulders. "We'll see." The track changed and "Always On My Mind" came on. "Ooohh, I love this song! When I was little, before the divorce, Charlie and Renee would dance around the living room to this song, and then he would pick me up and dance with me, too, swinging me over his head."

"Well, I wouldn't want to break from tradition," I said as I held my hand out to her. She hesitated for a moment, then took my hand and hopped off the counter. I led her into the living room, placed my hands around her waist, and lifted her up over my head, spinning her around the room. Bella squealed with joy.

"Edward! Put me down!" Bella's laughter said quite the opposite though, and her joy filled the room as I twirled us around. After a bit, I lowered her feet gently to the ground and took her hand to dance with her in a more traditional fashion. She was out of breath and shaking her head at me, chuckling as we danced. "You're crazy," she teased as I twirled her under my arm and pulled her back to me.

"You enjoyed it, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did. I felt like a kid again." Even though she meant it as a good thing, it reminded me of the 'insignificant little girl' comment in the diary that had upset her so. I leaned down and whispered in her ear. "You are no child, Isabella, far from it. You are most definitely…all…woman." Bella stopped dead in her tracks, took a sharp intake of breath and turned her ear away from me. I pulled back to look in her eyes. "I'm sorry, did I say something wrong? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. It's just that I was reading in your diary that it bothered you when I referred to our classmates as children, and I didn't want you to think that you fell into that category in any way, shape, or form." Bella smiled at me and I knew I was forgiven. The timer for the oven went off. "Saved by the bell. Have a seat. I'll get your plate together."

Bella's eyes got wide when I put her plate in front of her. "What is this, Edward? It smells heavenly." I told her what everything was as I retrieved a fork and steak knife for her. Bella took a bite of the pork chops and moaned in satisfaction. "Remind me to let you surprise me more often."

"I'm going to hold you to that, love," I laughed, and started cleaning up the kitchen while she ate.

"So what's on the agenda tonight?" Bella asked between bites.

"Well, the wine's chilled, so I thought perhaps we could pick up where we left off with our conversation from last week?"

"Okay. That sounds good. But don't forget, you promised me equal time." I put her empty plate in the dishwasher and took her dessert out of the refrigerator.

"I did, indeed. Do you want to talk about the diary first, or our lists?" Bella looked at the gold bag suspiciously as I walked back into the living room and headed for the couch. Bella followed with the wine bottle and her glass.

"Let's do the diary first. Hopefully I wasn't waxing poetic about Carlisle anymore," Bella chuckled.

I set the bag down on the coffee table. "Let me go get the book, then. That's dessert. It needs to warm up a little first. No peeking!" I wagged my finger at her and Bella pouted as she sunk back comfortably in the couch, kicking off her shoes and folding her feet under her Indian style.

I retrieved the book from the study and sat on the opposite end of the couch. Bella turned to lean her back on the arm of the couch and I did the same.

"Okay, first. You called me pushy and bossy for making you ride home with me the day we had blood typing in Biology…"

"You were!" Bella interrupted. "It was a Neanderthal thing to do, you have to admit."

"Yes, I suppose it was. I was thinking about being in the car with you on the trip we had planned to Seattle, and thought a shorter trip to desensitize myself was a good idea. Plus, I really, really wanted to talk to you some more. You even admitted in your diary that you had a good time with me anyway."

"That's true, I did. I'll give you that. It was still pushy." Bella took a sip of her wine and raised her eyebrow at me, daring me to argue in my defense. I conceded defeat and moved on to the next point.

"We have something else in common that I never realized."

"What's that?"

"We both have a habit of making incorrect assumptions about the other one."

Bella looked at me with new interest. "Explain."

"Okay. Here's a perfect example. That night in Port Angeles, you assumed I didn't want you to hold my hand at dinner because I didn't like you. That couldn't have been further from the truth. I assumed if you continued to hold my hand, you would eventually be repulsed by how cold and hard my skin is. We were both utterly wrong."

"I see your point."

"Let's see, what else? Oh, here's a big one. The day I told you that I'd been watching you sleep, you called me 'stalkerish.' Did you really think that? Was it that I watched you sleeping, or was it because I did it without your knowledge?"

"Yes, yes, and yes. I got used to it after a while, and I know now that you had your reasons for doing it, getting used to my scent, et cetera. But it felt like an invasion of my privacy, and not just because I didn't know you were there, but because, as you know, I talk in my sleep, so you were listening in on my most private, personal thoughts when I had no ability to block or censor them from you. Admit it, that's what you liked most about it." Bella took another sip of her wine.

"When I stayed in your room without your knowledge, I'll admit that listening to your thoughts was what I liked most about it. However, once you started letting me stay the night, then holding you was what I liked most, followed by the opportunity to rescue you from your nightmares. Listening to you moan my name in your sleep was a close third though. Bella, I have a confession to make, and you're not going to like it." Bella abruptly sat upright and eyed me warily. "Last week when you were here, I went to your room and watched you sleep. I shouldn't have done that without your permission, I know. I just missed it so much, I couldn't resist. I've told you before, I'm innately a very selfish creature. Anyway, I was getting ready to leave when you started talking, but you had a nightmare and you were calling my name. I couldn't bear to see you thrashing like that, you were so upset. So I…I…"

"Just spit it out, Edward. I've already got a pretty good idea," Bella said calmly.

"I crawled into bed with you and held you while you slept," I held my head down in shame. Bella crawled next to me on the couch and lifted my head to face her.

"I can't say I'm comfortable with what you did, Edward. It blurs the lines a little too much, and I can't afford to do that. You have called yourself a selfish creature so many times I've lost count. I'll let you in on a little secret, Edward. I'm a selfish creature, too. I don't want to ever have to choose between you and Jasper. I don't know what I would do if it ever came to that. That being said…thank you for rescuing me from yet another nightmare." Bella smiled at me so sweetly then that I had to force myself not to kiss her. I settled on taking her hands from my face and holding them in my lap.

"I won't go into your room just to watch you sleep anymore, Bella, I'm sorry. But just so we're clear, if you have another nightmare while you're here, or if you call my name in your sleep again, what do you want me to do? It would be hard on me to hear you suffering and not be able to do anything about it."

Bella looked so conflicted, so deep in thought. "When you were…holding me last week, I assume it's safe to say that you were a gentleman about it?"

I nodded. "Of course, Bella. I kept my hands to myself and didn't kiss you or anything, if that's what you mean."

"It is. And what did I do when you held me?"

"You did what you always used to do. You calmed down immediately, curled up against me and fell back into a deeper sleep."

Bella sat silent, contemplating. "I guess it would be alright if you comforted me if I had a nightmare. I'm sure that Adrian would do the same if he was in your shoes. But no staying the whole night. Calm me down so you don't have to listen to me screaming, and then leave, fair enough?"

I pulled her to me in a hug. "More than fair. Thank you, Bella. That means so much to me." I sat back where I was and held her hands again. "I'm so sorry this is all so hard for you. I don't want you to feel stuck in the middle."

"I am, though. Don't apologize for it. It's not your fault, it's mine and I know that." Bella squeezed my hands and released me, scooting back to her side of the couch.

"Okay, what else you got for me?" Bella refilled her glass.

"Well, we already talked about the 'children' thing," Bella blushed again. "There were a couple of other things, but they sort of tied in with my list."

"Well, okay. Let's do your list, then. Can I see it?"

"Umm…if you insist. I would prefer, however, if we could just discuss the items one at a time, though, if that's alright with you." I wasn't sure how Bella was going to take my list, and I wanted the option of stopping if she got too upset.

"Well, I don't see how that's fair. After all, you're getting to read my issues straight out of my diary," Bella sulked.

"Yes, but we're not discussing the entire diary at one sitting, either. We're talking about your diary a little at a time, isn't it only fair that we discuss my list in the same fashion?" Bella couldn't seem to figure out a way around my logic, so she just huffed instead. "Good. Thank you for humoring me. Now, should we do the toughest one first, or would you prefer to ease our way into it with an easy one?"

"Let's do the tough one first. Get it out of the way," Bella started to take another sip of her wine. I took a deep breath and dove right in, praying for the best.

"You cheated on me with my brother."

Bella blanched and for a second I thought she was going to pass out, but instead she took a big gulp of wine, and then looked up to meet my gaze, her lip quivering. "I didn't sleep with Jasper until after we broke up." Her voice was weak and cracked. She knew it was not a valid defense, but merely the lie she had been telling herself to make it seem less horrible in her own mind.

"I realize that, but it still doesn't make what you did right. You were intimate with him. You formed a romantic bond with him. Tell me, if the situation were reversed, if I had done the things you did with, say, Tanya, while you and I were together, would you have felt betrayed?"

Bella hung her head and nodded. Tears fell into her lap. I knew this was going to be hard, but she said she wanted to know, and to tell the truth, I needed to get it off my chest.

"You cheated on me, physically and emotionally, starting with the night he came into _my_ room while I was hunting and sat on _my_ bed to 'teach' you how to perform a very intimate act. You should have kicked him out. You should have screamed for Emmett. You should have said no. And then when I returned, you should have told me." I kept my voice calm, but firm.

Bella looked up at me then. "You're right. There will never be enough words to tell you how sorry I am. I listened to what Jasper had to say that night, about how I was making everyone's lives more difficult because I was so sexually frustrated all the time, and it made sense to me. I thought that it would help everyone concerned. But I realize now that what I did was wrong. Please believe me when I tell you that I love you so much and it tore me up inside knowing that I hurt you the way that I did."

My breath caught in my throat. "Could you repeat that last sentence, please?"

Bella looked at me, perplexed. "I said I loved you so much, and it tore me up inside knowing that I hurt you." _Oh_. "Why?"

"Never mind. I thought you said something else. Can I ask you two questions about it? First, why did you do it? This kind of ties into Number Two on the list – you always pushed my boundaries. I know you were frustrated that I wasn't able to be intimate with you the way you wanted, but I really felt like if you would have just been patient with me, I would have gotten there. You seemed to forget that I have spent over one hundred years as a virgin. Sexual relations were not something I had any experience with, let alone relations between a vampire and a human. Add to that fact that this particular human also happened to be my singer and the love of my life, and I think I had a reason to be terrified. Just the fact that I was able to hold you, kiss you without killing you was a big accomplishment for me. But you kept pushing, and the more you pushed, the more I panicked. It was like Newton's Third Law. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. You pushed. I ran. I happen to believe that with a little time and patience, I would have been able to be as intimate with you as we would have liked. Why couldn't you do that, Bella? Why did you have to run to him for physical affection? Was I not worth the wait?"

Bella broke down then, sobbing to the point of hysteria. I ran at vampire speed to the bathroom to retrieve a box of tissues, then ran back to the living room. Not caring about propriety, I sat down next to her and pulled her onto my lap. She had curled up tighter than an armadillo and was rocking back and forth. I held her tight and rubbed her back while I waited for her to cry it out, feeling utterly wretched for making her cry like this.

It took Bella a good ten minutes before she was able to calm down enough to pull her head up from between her knees and look at me. She slowly brought one hand up to my cheek and I leaned my head slightly into it. "Of course you were worth the wait, Edward. I was a fool. I don't have a clear cut answer for you, and I really wish I did. I guess a big part of me thought that you didn't want me that way, that we would never have that. Especially after you said you weren't willing to even try and push your boundaries anymore."

"Yes, you said something to that effect in your diary, that you didn't think I wanted you 'that way.' Bella, from the moment I laid eyes on you, I have wanted you that way. You have no idea how many sexual fantasies I would hear in the minds of the people around us, and I would change every one of them around in my head so that it was you and me doing those things, together. Every time you kissed me, I longed for more. Every time your body was pressed to mine I wanted to have your breasts fill the palms of my hands, feel your nipples harden as I worked them between my fingers. I wanted to sink myself into your glorious warmth and join our bodies together as one. You are the most beautiful, exquisite, sexy woman I have ever known. How could you doubt for one second that I wanted you?" I wanted to point out that her insecurities were actually the very next thing on my list, but I didn't want to go off on a tangent just then.

"But you had said you wouldn't even try anymore…" I took a tissue out of the box and started gently wiping her tears away.

"I only said that because of how hard you were pushing. Newton's Third Law, remember? It wasn't what I wanted, not in a long shot, but it seemed at the time like it was the only way to get you to stop." Bella thought about this and finally nodded her head with a sniffle.

"I can see that. Really, I can. I should have had more patience. I should have had more faith. I wish we'd have just talked about these things more then the way we are talking about them now. Back then we always just skirted around them and turned a blind eye, you know?"

"Yes, I know exactly what you mean. We both kept so much bottled up inside. But at least we're talking about them now, right?"

"Yes, you're right. What was the other part of the question?"

"If you had to do it all over again, would you change anything?"

Bella looked deep into my eyes with a fierce conviction then, fire just beneath the surface. "If I could go back in time and fix my mistakes, I would, Edward. I would never have cheated on you, and I would never have let you go. Never doubt that, and never forget it." I nodded slowly. Bella kissed my cheek and scooted off of my lap and back onto the couch. I took the opportunity to give Bella the little gold bag with her dessert. "Here, this will make you feel better." Bella opened the bag and squealed at the chocolate covered strawberries. "They'll go nicely with the wine." Bella took a big bite out of one and moaned.

"These are fantastic! Can I change my mind? I want an easier question."

"It's a little late for that, isn't it, love? Okay, here you go. This one was Number Five. You would never graciously accept a gift from me when we were together. Ever. If we're being perfectly honest, I have to admit that I'm quite certain the only reason you accepted that necklace as easily as you did was because you felt guilty about what happened. When I had that necklace commissioned, I was prepared for a full-on war. Yet you accepted a new truck and a new motorcycle from Jasper with great enthusiasm. That stung."

"We talked about my old truck last week. I loved it. Jasper bought me the new truck to remind me of my old one, to remind me of Charlie. He bought me the motorcycle because he knew how much I liked to ride, and how my clunky old dirt bike back home soothed me in my darkest hour. Both gifts had a sentimental significance. So did this necklace, and that's why I accepted it. I don't need or want gifts just because they're flashy or expensive, especially since I am unable to reciprocate and that makes me feel terrible."

"So, if I bought you something for your birthday, for example, that had sentimental value and was something I knew you'd love and was not at all flashy but may have been what you consider expensive, would you accept it graciously?" Bella nodded at me suspiciously. "Promise?"

"I promise that as long as it fits within those parameters, I will accept it graciously," Bella qualified.

I ran to the study and returned with her gift. "I'm sorry it's not wrapped yet. I wasn't planning on giving this to you until the end of the week, but I want to hold you to your word before you have a chance to change your mind." I handed Bella the folder and sat back down. I watched with baited breath as she slowly flipped through the plane tickets and pages upon pages of brochures and reservations. I could see it coming, the 'I don't deserve this' or the 'you shouldn't have spent so much money' or something to that effect. But it didn't happen. Instead, she looked at me wide eyed and excited. "Oh my God! Edward! Is this what I think this is?"

"It is a trip to Haworth, England, to visit the home of the Bronte sisters over Christmas break. There are two plane tickets, one in your name and one blank. I assume you'll ask Jasper to go with you, but it occurred to me that you might ask Alice, since like you, she's a huge Bronte fan, so I left it blank for you to choose. There's a reservation for the Rosebud Cottage, which is a little bed and breakfast right in town that I thought you'd love. There's information on the town's Winter Festival, which will be going on while you are there, and some minor details all outlined in there for you."

Bella looked sad for a moment, her fingers caressing the plane tickets. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "Thank you, Edward, so, so much. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful this is and how much it means to me."

"You're welcome, Bella. I'm glad you like it. Take lots of pictures; I expect a full report when you get back."

"You got it!" Bella said.

Even her unbridled joy over her gift could not mask the exhaustion setting in. I looked at the clock and realized it was almost two in the morning. "Alright, I think that's enough for one night, don't you?"

"Yes, actually, I do. I'm going to bed."

"Sweet dreams, Bella."

Bella started to head for the hall and then turned back. "If they're not sweet dreams, and you have to rescue me again…"

"Yes?"

"Well, if I talk in my sleep and ask you to stay…you can. But don't tell me. I don't need to know. If I don't know, then I don't have to lie about it later."

I smiled her crooked smile. "As you wish, love. Goodnight." Bella's nightmare began exactly 37 minutes after she laid down to sleep. "Don't make me…not again…Edward…" I went in and sat on the side of the bed, singing her lullaby to her to coax her out of it. When she settled back into a deep sleep, I stood to leave, but Bella grabbed my arm in her sleep and whispered that magical word. "Stay." So I did.

As Bella requested, I snuck out of her room before she started to stir. I made her a quick breakfast when she woke up, just a Pop-Tart, coffee, and half a grapefruit. "Good morning, beautiful."

Bella raised her eyebrow at me, but didn't correct me like she had the week before. "Thank you for breakfast, Edward. I enjoyed our conversation last night."

"I did, too. Don't you think it's funny, though? Two weeks in a row you've been in tears, and I would be too if I were still able to cry, and yet in the morning light we both can honestly say we enjoyed our conversation. Why is that, do you think?"

"I don't know. Maybe because we both feel a little bit lighter after our talks, like a weight has been lifted somehow. At least, that's how I feel," Bella shrugged her shoulders.

"I think you're right, Bella. Can I drive you to school today?"

"Sure, I don't see why not." Bella smiled at me and shoved the last bite of Pop-Tart in her mouth. There was definitely some truth in her statement. I did feel as though a weight had been lifted. The pain I had been feeling for the past year somehow felt like it was finally starting to heal.

**A/N: Next stop for the Naked Cullen Boys? Houston, Texas! They are putting on a private show at the Roy and Lillie Cullen Theatre with nothing on but boots and cowboy hats for all my favorite reviewers! Yes, it's a real place, you can google it! LOL Don't forget your lassos, ladies, so you can round up your favorite! The next chapter will be Jasper's proposal. Right now A Lesson in Release has 2,299 reviews. I would be so excited if this story could bypass that number! **


	18. Chapter 17: Soothe My Soul

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I do own this storyline, my OCs, and an ancient laptop that is slower than molasses in winter.**

**A/N: Readingtime, changedbyEdward, JustBiteMePlease -- thanks for your help on this one... Love you H&R**

**Jasper's POV**

When Bella left for Edward's, I hunted. I didn't want to, but she and Alice weren't exactly giving me a choice. I quickly found a 10 point buck, and I didn't just kill it. I massacred it. I took all of my frustrations out on my prey, and then sat in the woods, shaking like a leaf. It reminded me of my trip to Canada with Alice, when Alice had bit me and Bella was the only thing able to soothe me. From our first night together, Bella has always been the only thing able to soothe me. Our first night together. When she was still with Edward and I was prepared to pleasure her for one night only and return her to the arms of the one she loved. 'Get it out of your system,' Alice had said.

Spending the night with Bella was the most terrible and most wonderful thing I'd ever done. Terrible because I knew what I was doing to Edward. I knew he didn't deserve it. I knew how much he loved her. I knew what it was doing to Alice, too, even though she tried to hide it. Wonderful because it was Bella, and she was worth it, and in the end, I couldn't care about anything else. Not Edward, or Alice, or even my own guilt.

I hate him now. I hate him because he still loves her. I hate him because she can't let him go. I hate him because he never even gave me the satisfaction of punching me in the face for my indiscretion so I could have a valid reason to hate him. But mostly I hated him because deep down I was afraid that I didn't deserve Bella. And he did.

Sure, he'd messed up too. We all had. I should never have gone to Edward's room that night, or to Bella's after that, and I damn well shouldn't have let myself fall in love with her. Alice should have kept her visions to herself. She shouldn't have sent me to Bella's that night, knowing what would happen if she did. She shouldn't have helped us cover our tracks. Bella shouldn't have been so quick to give up on Edward. She should have been more loyal to him. And Edward. Edward shouldn't have made it so hard for her to stay loyal. He shouldn't have been so controlling, and possessive, and scared to give her what she needed.

But all those things happened, and even vampires can't turn back time. Not that I would anyway. Too many good things had come with the bad, even with the guilt that Bella and I share. Alice was with Adrian now, and there has never been a more perfectly suited couple. Bella and I were together, and I love her more than life itself. Miraculously, she loves me, too, even when I royally screw up. I realize now that I will never have her whole heart, that Edward will always have his place in her life, and maybe instead of hating him for it, I just need to accept it. Be okay with the part she is able to give me. It's enough. But am I enough for her?

I pulled the ring out of my pocket and stared at it. When I bought it, we were in Forks, and blissfully happy. There was guilt, yes, but there was love, and trust, and desire, and it was perfect. Bella and I lived in our own little 'you and me against the world' bubble. I didn't think that would ever change. But it did. I saw it in Alice's eyes when she told me she was done reacting to her visions. I saw it in Edward's eyes when he said he was done lying to Bella. And I saw it in Bella's eyes after the first night she spent at Hotel Edward.

I felt guilty for our infidelity and the damage it had caused. Or at least I acknowledged that I _should_ feel guilty about it. But deep down I really didn't care, because I had Bella. Bella, on the other hand, _did_ care about the hurt we'd inflicted, and cared deeply. Too much for my liking. I kept wanting her to say that it was worth it, but she never did. Even worse was the realization that she didn't want it to be 'you and me against the world' anymore. She wanted to make all the hurt go away for everyone else, make everybody happy, and that was wonderful. It was one of the many reasons I loved her. I was just terrified that making everybody happy would translate into everyone but me.

I stood hours later with no more answers then when I had sat down, and headed for home. Headed for Bella. Because when all was said and done, she was the only one that could soothe me. And there was only one question that I really needed her to answer. _Will you marry me? _Thursday couldn't come fast enough.

This Tuesday started much like last Tuesday; Bella laughing and joking with Edward as they exited their classroom, followed by Bella running to my awaiting embrace, and my heart breathing a sigh of relief. Edward looked away, saying a quick goodbye before he disappeared into the crowd.

Wednesday passed with little incident. I got lucky in history. The professor decided to team us up in pairs for the genealogy project and we could choose whose family tree we were going to research. Kelly and I were paired up together, and gratefully she had no issue in us researching her family, which saved me a lot of time forging false records.

This morning was interesting, to say the least. I was so excited that the big day had finally arrived. Bella and I met as we usually did after her class with Edward, but she told me that she was meeting Alice in the Oval and Alice was joining her at lunch for some 'girl talk.' Bella looked nervous and Edward smiled encouragingly at her, for which she was grateful. It bothered me that whatever it was Bella wanted to talk to Alice about, Edward knew, but I didn't. I felt a little better, however, when I realized that Adrian had no clue what was going on, either. Alice had given him the same speech. After lunch, Bella and Alice met Adrian and I at the picnic table we were hanging out at on the oval. They were arm in arm, positively beaming. Bella was putting off such a feeling of happiness and relief that I couldn't help but smile at whatever it was that made her feel so light and joyous. Just then, Bella's eyes narrowed as she looked off to her right in time to see Edward and Kelly exiting the music building together. Bella was feeling a strange combination of jealousy, guilt, and happiness. Edward saw us and waved, then asked Kelly if she wanted to meet everyone.

Kelly and Bella eyed each other with suspicion as they were introduced, and then Kelly smiled more warmly as she met Alice and Adrian. She said hello to me, then politely made her exit, but not before telling Edward with great anticipation that she would see him on Sunday. Bella's pain flashed in her eyes, but she quickly hid it from everyone. Well, everyone but me. And possibly Edward, because he looked at her pointedly and said "Music project, remember?" I reminded myself that it didn't matter. _She loves me and that is enough_. I wrapped my arm around her waist and gave her a little squeeze. She looked at me gratefully, understanding what the gesture meant, and rewarded me with a kiss on the cheek.

After Adrian left for Hotel Edward and Alice left to hunt, Bella got ready for our date. I hadn't told her what we were doing, simply that I was taking her out for a nice dinner. She came down in a gorgeous emerald green cocktail dress that I was quite certain Alice must have purchased. Her hair was pulled up on the sides, and curled in relaxed tendrils which flowed down her back. I swept her into a kiss before we headed out. I put every ounce of hope and anticipation that I could into that kiss without projecting my emotions.

Bella enjoyed dinner. We had gone to a little French restaurant. It was quaint, without being overly fancy. Bella ordered a shrimp and rice dish with a rich cream sauce that she seemed to love, and crème brulee for dessert. The waiter brought her a red rose when he gave me the check and she, of course, blushed. The conversation flowed easily and for the first time in a while it was Jasper and Bella again. I took it as a good sign. Afterwards we parked near campus to go for a walk. I bought her an ice cream cone, which she miraculously managed to not get on her dress as we walked around, enjoying the crisp evening air as the sun set. I led her to Mirror Lake, a small manmade pond on the outskirts of campus. It was set somewhat into a hill, which was carved out creating a wall on one side of the path, with the pond on the other, making it rather secluded. As we approached, Bella noticed the dozens of floating candles that were now illuminating the lake thanks to me pulling a few strings. I led her to a nearby bench to sit. Bella looked at me warily, nervousness creeping up on her like a fog.

"Bella, I know that things have been awkward between us these past two weeks, and I know that I am largely to blame for that. I have let my jealousy overpower my logic and it was wrong of me." Bella didn't respond, so I continued. "I love you, Bella. You have been my best friend, my confidant, my counselor, my lover for almost a year now, and I have never been happier or more at peace with myself. You soothe my soul, ignite my desire, and warm my body and heart."

"I love you, too, Jasper," Bella answered quietly. She was still incredibly nervous and her heart was beating faster than a dragonfly's wings. I leaned forward and kissed her chastely. She put her hands on my forearms and pulled me closer and I deepened our kiss languidly, letting all the tension that had been forging a wall between us dissipate. As I kissed her, I tried to find the perfect words. _Will you marry me? Bella, will you marry me? Bella, would you do me the honor of being my wife? _

My cell phone rang with Alice's ringtone. I pulled back from Bella, took the phone from my pocket and hit ignore. I put it away and took Bella's hands in my own, setting them in her lap. "Bella, will…" The phone rang again. I growled and raised a finger to Bella asking her to give me one minute. Worry and relief washed over her at once. The relief vanished quickly, however, when she overheard the one word neither of us ever wanted to hear again.

"The Volturi are coming. Jasper, you and Bella need to come home. Now. Edward is already here with Adrian, and Carlisle and Esme will be here shortly. Luckily, they were already on their way for Bella's party."

"Alright, Alice, just give me a few minutes and we'll be on our way." This would definitely put a crimp in the post-proposal celebration I had planned. _Damn it!_

"No, Jazz. I know what you're about to do. You can't. Not right now. Just come home. I'll explain everything when you get here." Alice's voice was sharp and forceful, leaving no room for negotiation. "Right. Now. Promise me."

"Alright, Alice, I promise. We'll be home in ten minutes." When I hung up, I felt Bella's panic.

"What's going on? All I heard was Volturi." Bella was already heading back up the path towards the car.

"Bella, don't worry, darlin'. Everything will be fine. Let's just get back to the house and find out what the situation is before we panic." Bella nodded her head and started chewing on her bottom lip.

When we got to the house, there was a flurry of activity going on. Carlisle and Esme had already arrived. He and Edward were at the kitchen table, and Carlisle was obviously speaking to Edward silently, with Edward nodding sporadically in response. I could hear Alice and Esme upstairs, moving throughout both bedrooms with vampire speed.

Adrian had a cardboard box sitting on the coffee table, and was taking a picture off the mantel before wrapping it in newspaper and putting it in the box. He looked up at us as we closed the door behind us. He ran over to Bella and pulled her into a tight embrace. The sorrow coming off of him was so strong I could almost taste it. He was crying hysterically, and it was so strange to see this tough guy with Cary Grant style and grace, broken and sobbing. Alice and Esme came downstairs when they heard us come in, and were standing on the stairs looking at the scene before them, Esme with pity, Alice with absolute devastation.

"Would someone like to explain to me what the hell is going on?" Adrian's head darted up at my words and his eyes met with Alice's. He kissed Bella on the cheek and left her side to meet Alice on the stairs. They sunk onto the steps in each other's arms. Esme came down and kissed my cheek before hugging Bella, then leading her by the hand to the kitchen table. I followed wordlessly behind them. Edward and Carlisle's conversation seemed to reach a conclusion, and I felt both Carlisle's relief and trepidation.

Edward's eyes locked with Bella's then, and if it weren't for the fact that I knew he couldn't read her mind, I would swear they were having a silent conversation of their own. _Prick._

Alice and Adrian appeared behind me, arm in arm, and it appeared as though she was holding him up. "Alice, please," I begged. "What is going on?"

"I had a vision. The Volturi are sending representatives to check on Bella's change. In my vision, they found out she was with you, and human. They…killed…Bella and Adrian. They took Edward, you, and me to Italy and when we refused to join them, they killed us, too."

"Oh my God. That's why you're packing. Alright, so we run. We should be able to be out of here by daybreak. I'll contact Jenks…" I was in full-on strategy mode when Carlisle interrupted me.

"No," Carlisle stated softly, but with conviction. "It won't work. Alice has already tried a dozen different scenarios. There is only one solution that will protect everyone concerned."

"Okay. What is it?" I couldn't rid myself of the sense of foreboding.

"The only thing that saved Bella and Edward on their last run-in with the Volturi was Marcus. He felt the strength of their bond, and Aro saw it in Marcus' thoughts. If the Volturi come here and have any reason to believe that anything has changed in that regard, the results would be disasterous." Remorse mingled with her extreme sadness.

"What are you saying, Alice?" Alice looked down, not wanting to be the bearer of bad news.

Carlisle spoke for her. "What she is saying, Jasper, is that Bella needs to move in with Edward. They must act as though nothing has come between them. They will pretend they are getting married over the summer, and that the plan is to change her after the honeymoon. Bella is not the only one who needs protection, though. The Volturi cannot know of Adrian's relationship to Alice. Adrian is going to stay with one of his teammates in the football dorms until they have left, and you and Alice will need to pretend to be a couple again, as well. Their focus will not be on you, but on Edward and Bella, so you will only need to pretend while you are in public." _Which means Edward and Bella will have to pretend 24/7. Fuck. That._

"No! I can't agree to this!" I looked to Alice, pleading. "There's got to be another way…"

"Do you think we're any happier about this than you are, Jasper?" Alice accused, and Adrian buried his head in her shoulder, whispering in her hair to calm down. "Do you think I haven't tried every other possibility?!"

_Shit._ Of course she had_. _I hung my head and looked back at Carlisle. "How long until they get here? And more importantly, how long until they leave?"

"Well, that's the crux of it. They will be here in two weeks, which gives us just enough time to prepare. They are sending Heidi and Felix, which offers us much better chances than when they were considering sending Jane and Alec. However, Heidi and Felix are the two members of the guard who are most accustomed to being around humans. There is a distinct possibility that when they find out Bella's transformation date has been set for June, that Aro will have them stay here to keep an eye on us until then."

"Wait…for the entire school year?!" _Fuck. This cannot be happening!_

"Possibly. It will depend on Aro's decision after they call him. We won't know for certain until then. What we do know is that we have two weeks to prepare. Bella, you need to move to Edward's as soon as possible, no later than Sunday." Bella looked at Carlisle with no expression on her face. She felt completely numb.

"Why so soon if they're not going to be here for two weeks?"

Adrian let go of Alice and walked out of the room. Alice looked at me. I'd never seen her so pained. "Two reasons. One, because we need to air the human scents out of the house before they arrive. Two…because it will take that long for Edward and Bella to get comfortable enough being together again to pull off the ruse." There it was. The one sentence that made the horrific reality of the situation set in. Bella and Edward will not only have to live under the same roof, they will have to be convincing. They will have to be…affectionate. They will have to act as though they're in love. And I will have to stand by and watch. Worse, I will have to act like there is nothing wrong.

Carlisle stood up and put his hand on my shoulder reassuringly. I looked in his eyes, let down my defenses and let him feel the agony that was coursing through me. You might as well have asked me to give up my limbs. It would have been easier. Never before had I ever felt as much like a helpless child who needed his dad as I had at that moment. "For Bella. And Adrian. For all of us." I barely nodded. "Jasper, I need to hunt. Will you go with me, show me where you go?"

Carlisle turned to Edward, who had been sitting quietly looking at his hands in his lap the entire conversation. Edward nodded without meeting his gaze. And all I felt from him was calm. _Hey Edward! You really think that calm shit fools me? You're loving this, aren't you?_ Edward didn't even flinch.

Bella stood as I approached her, still completely numb, utterly overwhelmed by the course of events. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her. I didn't care who saw. I needed her. I let the flood gates open and poured all my love into her, and she returned my love in kind. I kissed her like it was the first time. I kissed her like it was the last time. I kissed her as though our very lives depended on it. Eventually Carlisle's hand was on my shoulder again.

"Come on, Jasper. You still have Bella's birthday tomorrow, and the football game on Saturday. Bella needs you to be strong." Bella nodded at me resolutely and I did the only thing I could then. I walked out the door with Carlisle behind me and disappeared into the night.

Carlisle and I hunted in silence, and then we sat, ironically very near the spot where I had been sitting just days before contemplating my pending engagement.

"Jasper, when we go back, you will find Edward's mother's engagement ring on Bella's finger. Alice determined it was best for him to give it to her tonight. Please, for Bella, don't make her feel guilty for it. It's not her fault." He might as well have stabbed me through the heart. Wordlessly, I took the ring out of my pocket and placed it in his waiting palm. He inspected it in the moonlight. "It's lovely." He put it back in my hand and I clenched my fist around it.

"I was 30 seconds away from proposing, Dad. I was mid-sentence for God's sake." I think it was the first time I'd ever referred to Carlisle as 'dad.' He was kind enough not to acknowledge it. He recognized it for what it was.

"I know, son. Alice told me. It's one of the reasons she insisted on putting the other ring on Bella's finger tonight. If you and Bella were to be engaged, and then have to be separated for an indefinite period of time, I would have to believe that it would make this even harder on the both of you than it already will be." I realized he had a point, but couldn't hide my resentment at the entire situation.

"Zeus must really hate me." I laughed at my own dark humor. Carlisle chuckled along with me. There was nothing else to do, really.

"If it's any consolation, I'd have bet money that she would have said yes."

**A/N: Team Jaspers, please don't hate me. I actually did it this way to make it easier on Jasper, 'cause I love him. Oh, and someone asked me how long this story is going to be. If I had to take a guess, I would say about 40 chapters, so we're not quite half way there.**

**If you have read Hiding in Plain Sight by the wonderful Limona, you will recognize that our two stories now bear in common a critical plot point. Please be aware that although the similarity is coincidental, I have already consulted Limona and received her blessing. If you have not yet read Hiding in Plain Sight and have no idea what I'm talking about right now; run, don't walk to her story and read it. Right after you review. The link can be found on my favorites list.**

**The Naked Cullen Boys are concluding their Texas portion of the tour with a trip to Dallas! cdunbar -- I've got your private show all lined up for you, Jazz and Adrian, right?**


	19. Chapter 18: The Worst Kind of Torture

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own my OCs, this storyline, and a Snoopy watch.**

**A/N: Thanks to readingtime, the most awesome beta in the world.**

**Edward's POV**

"So, got any questions for me today?" Adrian asked in between bites of the leftover pork chops from Monday. "This is really good, by the way."

"You're welcome. Has Bella always had self-esteem issues, or has that just been since she started hanging out with supernatural creatures?" Adrian choked on his bottled water with a laugh, not expecting that question, I supposed.

"No, that's just Bells and Whistles. I would be beating guys off her with a stick back home, and she would still believe that no one ever looked twice at her, and in her opinion, why would they? No amount of wolf whistles, compliments, or pick-up lines has ever been able to convince her otherwise."

"I can see that." It was amazing to me how many times she put herself down in her diary, called herself all varieties of uncomplimentary names. Pathetic. Ugly. Plain. Boring. Stupid. I used to think she just didn't see herself clearly. Now I was beginning to wonder if she saw herself _at all_.

"Take that girl you were talking to, today. Kelly, was that her name?" I nodded. "Now, you and I both know that while that girl's pretty, she doesn't hold a candle to our Bella. But I can tell you without a doubt in my mind that Bella mentally sized herself up to that girl, and in her mind, fell WAY short."

"When I danced with Kelly at the club, I overheard her tell Jasper that Kelly was the type of girl she thought I would end up with. Called her 'perfect,' I believe."

"See that. Right there, that's what I'm talking about. There is nothing that frustrates me more about Bells then how hard on herself she is. She thinks everyone around her is beautiful, but never sees her own beauty. She will forgive anyone for anything," Adrian looked at me pointedly. _Like forgiving you for all those bruises you gave her. Or Jasper for his ability-enhanced seduction scene. Part of me hopes she tells him no tonight. I'm still pissed at him for that little stunt. _"But when it comes to her own mistakes, she never lets herself live them down."

_Tells him no? _I wondered. _Tells him no to what?_

Adrian finished dinner and helped me clean up and was just grabbing the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Edward, it's Alice. I need you and Adrian to meet me at our house. Right. Now." Alice was in a panic.

"Alice, what's wrong?"

"The Volturi, that's what's wrong! Just get there. Now."

"Alright, Alice, we're on our way." I was already grabbing my car keys and pointing towards the door. _Damn, denied my Phish Food AGAIN, _Adrian pouted as he put it back in the freezer and grabbed his coat.

"Oh, and Edward…bring your mother's engagement ring with you." Without another word, Alice hung up the phone. _What is going on? _I grabbed the ring from the safe in my study and bolted out the door.

When we got to the house, we found Alice in their bedroom, packing up all of Adrian's clothes. She didn't stop moving when we got there, running at vampire speed. I was certain all Adrian could see was a red streak moving around the room. "I've got to get you out of here. I've got to get you safe!"

Adrian looked like he was going to try and intercept her, but I knew that wouldn't be a good idea at her current rate of acceleration, so I stepped in front of him and stopped her. The moment she stopped she collapsed into my chest, wracked with dry sobs. "I love him, Edward, I can't see him die!"

"See who die, Ally-Angel?" Adrian asked. Alice looked up at him, and then ran into his arms. "You!"

We heard a car speed into the driveway. Alice picked Adrian up and we ran downstairs. Carlisle skipped all the pleasantries when he entered, Esme a step behind him.

"What all do we know?"

"I know that they're sending two representatives, and they'll be here in two weeks. At first, Caius wanted to send Jane and Alec, and that ended really bloody for us no matter what. Now it seems as though Aro wants to send Heidi and Felix instead, saying they are less integral to the guard and the most used to being around humans. That works out better in some ways, but not in others."

"Why are they coming?"

"They're coming to check on Bella, see if she's been changed yet. When they find out that she hasn't been changed yet, and worse, that she's not with Edward anymore, they will kill Bella and Adrian on the spot. Then later, they'll kill Edward, me, and Jazz when we refuse to join them."

Adrian spoke up, "Well, that's simple, then. Change Bella." Adrian shrugged his shoulders as if it were no big deal.

Alice shook her head, "That doesn't seem to save us, either. Once Bella is changed, Bella will have an ability which will make her irresistible to the Volturi. They will want her for themselves. We will fight to protect her, and we will lose. Plus, once they discover that yet another Cullen has fallen in love with a human who knows our secret, well, let's just say that they don't take too kindly to that idea. And even if I were to change Adrian today, the result is no better. Caius has already been talking about our 'coven' getting too large and powerful to be allowed. That would give him just cause for an all out war."

"Alice, you say that the outcome is worse once they realize that Bella and Edward are not together anymore?" Carlisle was calm, calculating.

"Yes. The only thing that saved us when we went to Italy the first time was that Marcus sensed the magnitude of their love. He felt that they had an unbreakable bond, and that messing with that bond would not work in their favor. The only way I see out of this is for Bella and Edward to pretend to be engaged. We tell them that she wanted to experience a year of college and get married before the transformation. We set the wedding date for June, and tell them the transformation will take place right after the honeymoon. It will at least buy us some time. Adrian, I need you to move into the football dorms with one of your teammates. They can't know about us."

"No, Ally. I can't leave you to face these thugs alone. What kind of a man would I be if I did that?"

"A living, breathing man, that's what kind you would be. As opposed to a dead man, and I don't mean the kind that still gets to walk around. You won't win the Heisman from six feet under, I'll tell you that." Alice was trying to be sarcastic to keep from breaking down, but it wasn't working. "There is no other way…"

Adrian hugged her to his chest. "Okay, Ally-Angel, okay. It's only, what, a couple of days, right? They come, they see Edward and Bella all kissy face, you promise to send them an invitation to the wedding that will miraculously get lost in the mail, and life goes back to normal." Suddenly a string of images flooded Alice's mind. Bella and I holding hands. She's wearing my mother's ring. Bella and I kissing. Bella and I cuddling on the couch at my house, with Felix just outside. Heidi and Felix sitting at a picnic table with Alice, Jasper, Bella, and myself, with schoolbooks in front of them. Hundreds of other images flashed through her mind before she started blocking me.

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"What do you mean, Ally? You said…"

"There's a chance it will work out just like that. But there's also a chance that Aro will tell them to stay and 'observe' until Bella has changed. If that happens, then Heidi and Felix will be here until after the wedding."

"You mean, I would have to stay away from you…all year?!" When Alice nodded, Adrian started to cry. Esme excused herself to go upstairs to start packing Bella's belongings. Carlisle jerked his head towards the kitchen table, indicating we should move there and give them some privacy.

_How are you doing, son? _

"I'm terrified for Bella. She's in danger yet again because of us."

_She's in danger because she loves this family, and there are risks associated with that, I'll give you that. But that doesn't make it our fault. You cannot take the blame for something the Volturi are responsible for. All we can do now is protect her by any means necessary._

"Agreed. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to her."

_You still love her, don't you?_ I nodded, staring at the grains in the wood table.

_Are you going to be able to handle this?_

"It's going to be the worst possible brand of torture, Carlisle. To hold Bella in my arms, kiss her, like I have wanted to every moment of every day since I released her and let her go to him, but it won't be real. She will be kissing me, but thinking of him. I will have to tell her that I love her, and I'll mean every word of it. She'll have to say she loves me too, but it will be a lie. She will have my mother's wedding ring on her finger, just as I'd always dreamed she would one day. But it's a farce. I mean, what do I do when I give it to her? Do I get down on one knee? Do I put it on her finger? Or do I just hand it to her and say 'Here, put this on and pretend it means something to you,' knowing full well that it's just a prop." I looked around the room trying to find anything else to focus on, anything other than the sound of my heart being ripped from my chest. Adrian was packing up the pictures of him and Alice and of Bella and Jasper in a cardboard box. I assumed they would be replaced with old pictures of Alice and Jasper together shortly. His mind was an incoherent swirl of pain and agony. He was fearful for Bella's life, fearful for all our lives, angry for being human, angry for having to run and hide, and his heart was breaking. He felt selfish for thinking about his own needs at this moment, for thinking about how he doesn't know how he will bear to be away from her, how the one night a week at my house was hard enough. I could understand exactly what he was going through. I turned back to Carlisle.

_I know it's going to be hard, son, but you've seen Alice's vision, this is the only way, right? _I heard the front door open and Jasper and Bella stepped inside. I couldn't look yet. I didn't want Bella to misconstrue my pain as rejection or indifference. I focused on Carlisle, and nodded my head.

_Then you will find a way to make it work. _I nodded my head again. For Bella. The Volturi wouldn't even know she existed if it weren't for me. She risked her life to save mine. The least I could do was swallow my pain and save hers in return. Before I have to give her back to Jasper. Again.

_Alice said they will be observing you and Bella. _I nodded. _So this ruse will have to be 24 hours a day, every day, even at home._ I nodded again. _Oh, Edward._ _I feel so sorry for you all. Alice and Adrian will have it the easiest, I think. The focus won't be on them; Alice should be able to sneak out and see him occasionally. Alice and Jasper were never publicly affectionate anyway, and again, the focus isn't on them, so they will really only have to act that way in public, and even then, primarily with words. Jasper will have to watch you with Bella, and that's going to devastate him, I'm sure. They will all be separated from the ones they love. But your pain will be quite the opposite, because you will be so close to the one you love, and yet she will still belong to another. I'm quite afraid that of all of you, your burden will be the hardest to bear. _I met his gaze, but didn't respond. I could see no possible way that I was going to come out of this unscathed, but it didn't matter. I would endure a hundred years of Jane's torture if it would save Bella.

_Don't let anything Jasper might say affect you, alright? This will be hard for him, too. _I nodded one last time and Carlisle turned his attention to the others.

Alice was projecting her thoughts at me as she and Esme came downstairs. _You'll need to give her the ring tonight, Edward. For one thing, humans tend to play with rings a lot more when they first put them on. They twist them, look at them when they catch the light, that kind of thing. Then when it starts to feel natural that it should be there, they don't fiddle with it anymore, it becomes like part of their skin. Bella needs to get used to wearing that ring. She'll be moving in on Sunday morning, but you need to start reacting to each other as a couple again. Behave how you would have behaved before you split up. She can't flinch when you touch her or kiss her, she can't cringe when you call her 'love.' Starting now._

Esme's thoughts drifted to me as she gave Bella a kiss and led her to the table._ Perhaps, something good may come of this. It may actually be a good thing for Edward and Bella. I don't think either of them has really gotten any closure._ How could I tell her that I didn't want closure? That would mean admitting that there was no chance Bella will ever be in my arms again. But she _will_ be in my arms again, in the very near future, and still I can expect no comfort from it. I intended to keep my gaze down and stay as far removed from the conversation as possible, but I couldn't help but look up when Bella sat across from me. Our eyes locked and it was almost as if she could read my mind. Do you know how much I love you? How scared I am for you right now? How nervous I am about what has to happen next? I don't want to have to cause you pain, or make you uncomfortable, and yet I'm afraid that's exactly what I will be doing time and time again for as long as they are here. I'm so sorry, Bella. How will you take all this? Will you hate me for it?

_Prick._ Jasper's thoughts broke the connection, and I went back to staring at my hands in my lap. I promised Carlisle I would not be confrontational with him. It's not his fault. That was just the first of a string of profanities that Jasper shouted in his mind as Carlisle and Alice explained the situation to him. _They will have to be convincing, they will have to act as though they're in love. And I will have to stand by and watch. Worse, I will have to act like there is nothing wrong. _I really did feel bad for him. This couldn't be easy for him, either.

I focused on forcing down my feelings, centering myself. I did not want Jasper to have to deal with the swarm of emotions flowing through me right now on top of everything else. _Hey Edward! You really think that calm shit fools me? You're loving this, aren't you?_ Was he deranged? The Volturi were threatening to kill my family, to kill Bella! _No, I am NOT loving this. But if it makes you feel better to take it out on me, go right ahead_.

Carlisle stood. _Edward, I'm going to take Jasper hunting, give him a chance to compose himself. While we're gone, you need to give Bella the ring. It will be easier for Jasper if he doesn't have to see you do it. I wouldn't recommend getting down on one knee, but there's nothing wrong with letting her know that the ring is special to you. _I nodded again, still staring at my hands, and then he and Jasper were gone.

Bella sat back down at the table after Jasper kissed her goodbye, but said nothing, just stared off into space.

"Bella, are you okay?" Bella turned to me and shrugged.

"As well as can be expected, I guess. You'd think I'd be used to this by now. Seems like someone's always trying to kill me." Bella stood up and headed for the refrigerator. She pulled out a container of Chunky Monkey and a spoon, turning to lean back on the counter and eating straight from the container. She seemed to calm down a bit after the first bite. _I guess ice cream really was comfort food_, I mused. "So…this is going to be interesting, huh?"

"Yes, I suppose that's as good a word for it as any." I crossed the room then and carefully removed the ice cream and spoon from her, setting them down on the countertop. I took her left hand into my own as I took my mother's ring from my pocket with my right. I showed it to her and she got wide eyed and shaky. "Bella, this was my mother's engagement ring. I had always hoped to see it on your hand, just under vastly different circumstances. I realize that this isn't a real engagement, but I hope that you will cherish it nonetheless for however long it is yours." Bella nodded, just a little, and straightened out her fingers to allow me to slide the ring into place. She held her hand off to the side and admired it. It was a perfect fit.

"It's beautiful, Edward." An awkward moment followed as we looked in each other's eyes, not knowing what to do next. Finally, Bella reached up and put her arms around my neck, laying her head on my shoulder in a warm embrace. Silent tears soaked my shirt as I held her tight, tracing her spine with my fingers soothingly. After a while, Bella looked up at me, her expression so muddled I had absolutely no idea what she was thinking. She looked terrified, and exhausted, and God only knew what else. I wiped her tears away from her cheek.

"Don't cry, love. You know I can't stand to see you cry," I whispered. I thought about what Alice said. I must behave the way I would have behaved before everything went wrong. With that in mind, I leaned forward to kiss away the new round of tears flowing down her cheeks, but hesitated, not knowing if it was the right thing to do. I pulled back and Bella peered up at me.

"It's alright, Edward," she said, sounding resigned. "It appears we're going to have to get used to being together like this again." I wasn't positive if she meant it was alright to kiss her tears away, or if she meant it was alright that I backed away. I decided it would be best to just ask.

"Bella, may I kiss the tears from your cheeks?" Bella didn't answer, she just fluttered her eyes closed and leaned her head back a little, biting her lower lip. I slowly, tentatively, kissed each tear away until they ceased to flow, relishing the feeling of her flushed cheeks against my lips. Then when I was certain the tears had stopped, I pecked her nose with a kiss, and then, without thinking, I gave her a very quick peck on the lips, feeling that familiar electrical current pass between us. The kiss was so fast that I might have thought she didn't feel it at all, if it weren't for the fact that she jumped back about five feet and brought her fingertips to her lips immediately after, looking shocked.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I just, well, we're going to have to, and it might take some getting used to, and, well, I didn't think it through, I guess," I rambled. Bella walked back up to me and put her finger to my lips to shush me.

"Edward, it's okay. I just wasn't expecting it, that's all. I guess Alice was right. It's going to take some time to getting used to that again. But not now, okay? Not here, in Jasper's and my house. We'll…work on…that…starting on Sunday, when I move in. After everyone else leaves. Okay?"

"Okay, Bella. You're right. I really am sorry." I heard the door open and close as Carlisle and Jasper came back from their quick hunt. "I'm going to go, there's nothing more I can do here tonight, and I want to make sure the house is ready for you. I'll be back tomorrow for your birthday party, okay?" Bella nodded, and I let myself out the back door. I barely made it home before the pain overtook me.

**A/N: The Naked Cullen Boys are taking their Cullendales Revue show to Memphis, TN! In honor of the great Elvis Presley, they will be doing lap dances to 'A Little Less Conversation' for all my lovely reviewers!**


	20. Chapter 19: As One

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own my OCs, this storyline, and a bottle of Tullemore Dew.**

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in the update. Hopefully all the sweet lovin' below will make up for it. Sorry also for not replying to reviews lately, but I have read every one and am forever grateful. If you have recommended a song or a city, I promise I've written it down. If you've asked me a question, I will get you a reply soon I promise! Speaking of songs, the songs for this chapter are "To Make You Feel My Love" by Garth Brooks and "Amazed" by Lonestar.**

**A very special thanks to jilburfm for beta'ing this chapter for me since readingtime is on vacation. She has forever immortalized the following words: "I'm almost done -- Adrian just came!"**

**Jasper's POV**

Edward slipped out the back door as soon as Carlisle and I got back. Carlisle and Esme said a quick goodbye and headed for the hotel. I found Bella leaning against the counter looking stunned and bewildered. As soon as I walked in the door, her head snapped in my direction. Her eyes were shiny with unshed tears and she was shaking. My eyes targeted the ring on her finger. Bella saw me staring at it and put her hand behind her back.

"I'm so sorry, Jasper…" Bella's pain pierced me like a knife, and I couldn't help but think it was my fault. She saw what this was doing to me, and knowing Bella, she was shouldering all the blame. I took her into my arms and let her cry for both of us.

"Shhhh, Bella, it's alright. This isn't your fault. Look at me." Bella lifted her head from my chest to stare at me with bloodshot eyes. "I love you. You love me. This doesn't change anything. It'll be over before we know it." Bella nodded her head and hugged me again. Adrian came into the kitchen then with the same bloodshot eyes as Bella. He started to back up when he saw us, but I stopped him. "I'm going upstairs to help Alice finish packing. Why don't you and Adrian try and relax for a little while, okay, darlin'?" I kissed her forehead before I left, patting Adrian reassuringly on the shoulder as I passed him.

Alice was upstairs, running around like a chicken with its head cut off. "Alice, can you tell me how this is all going to end? Is it going to work out in the end? Will we still be…?" _Will we still be Jasper and Bella?_ My voice broke off and Alice stopped in front of me, and I hugged her to me.

"I don't know, Jasper. I really don't. I wish I did. Why can't we just have some peace? Why does there always have to be another disaster waiting around the bend?"

"I don't know, Alice." _I wish I did._

Alice shook her head. "Come on, we're wasting time, and I don't want to waste one more second. Let's get this over with."

When we finished packing, we found Bella and Adrian sitting on the couch, holding hands and leaning against each other for comfort. There were no more tears to be shed, no more words that needed to be spoken. Bella made it a point to keep her left hand underneath the blanket. I had to smirk a little at that. Always trying to keep everyone else from being hurt, no matter how impossible it was. The four of us were all scared and confused and in pain, and the intensity of the emotions in the house was becoming unbearable. Alice took Adrian by the hand and led him out the door. They were going to get a hotel room for the night. They needed to be alone, to make the most of what little time they had left, and so did we. Bella and I just stared into each other's eyes as I picked her up and carried her to our room.

I laid her on the bed and turned the music on softly in the background. "To Make You Feel My Love" came on. I smiled wistfully, remembering the first time I sang her that song. I looked in her eyes and knew she was thinking the same thing. She was still with Edward at the time, and I was in Canada with Alice, but somehow we both knew on the phone that night that what we needed more than anything was to be Jasper and Bella.

I went to kiss her, but Bella turned her face away from me. Silently, she took off Edward's ring, reminding me that we weren't going to be Jasper and Bella for much longer. She carefully wrapped it in a tissue and put it in the drawer of her bedside table. Then she turned back to me and gave me a sheepish smile before wrapping her arms around me and lifting her head up to kiss me. It was slow and languid. Bella's emotions were finally starting to ease their frantic spinning and settle down. At that moment, all I felt coming from her was love and gratitude. I wasn't sure what she was thankful for, and it must have shown on my face. She chuckled softly at me.

"I'm thankful for this moment, right now, that we have together. I'm thankful for this calm before the storm. I'm thankful for every moment we have ever shared. More than anything, though, I'm thankful for you."

"I love you, Bella." Somehow those words didn't seem to be enough, but Bella seemed to understand anyway.

"I love you, too, Jasper. Always."

I wrapped my arms around her and drew her tightly to me as I kissed her, my tongue begging for entrance, my body begging for more. She granted my every request and more as our clothing found itself strewn across the room and forgotten. I lavished kisses on every inch of Bella's beautiful frame while her hands caressed and warmed every inch of mine. "Amazed" by Lonestar started to play as I rolled us over so she was straddling my hips. Bella kissed and licked each scar on my chest before rolling her tongue over my nipples, giggling against my skin when she made me purr. She worked her way back up to recapture my lips and slid herself onto me effortlessly. Bella's beautiful hair draped down around us so that all that existed for me was her. I was enveloped in Bella in every way, and peacefully drowned myself in her warmth, her touch, her scent, her skin.

In Her.

In Us.

She worked into a slow rhythm, almost removing me completely with each upward stroke before coming back down to sheath me fully within her once more. When Bella needed more oxygen than kissing me would allow, she sat upright, tossing her head behind her, putting her hands on my chest for support as she sped up her ministrations.

I watched in awe at her glorious sex wrapped around me as she slid me into her even deeper. As I filled her, she filled me, in every way.

I wanted this to last all night.

I wanted this to last forever.

We moaned in unison and although my body was craving more friction, I forced myself not to meet her thrusts or grab her hips and guide her to move faster. Instead, I caressed her stomach before palming the creamy flesh of her breasts, teasing her nipples gently with my thumbs while I watched her face as she gave in to the sensations. I could feel her lust rising, so I reached down with one hand and pinched her clit lightly to push her over the edge to a sweet oblivion.

"Ahhh, Jasper!" she cried as she threw her head back and slammed her hips against mine as her muscles contracted and throbbed around me. I grabbed her hips and began pounding into her with as much force as I thought was safe and a minute later I came so hard that it hurt, and the pain was sweet.

In that moment, nothing else existed for us but Jasper and Bella.

Bella collapsed on top of me, sighing peacefully. I kissed the top of her head, wiped the damp locks of hair from her forehead, and wrapped us in the blankets before singing her a lullaby. I'd barely sung the first verse before she drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

**Adrian's POV**

I couldn't tell you the name of the hotel we checked into. I couldn't tell you what our room number was, or what color the walls were, or whether the sheets were 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton or polyester blend. All that I could see was my Ally. Every fiber of my being was screaming for her. I gave no thought to her bloodlust tonight. It was the farthest thing from my mind.

No sooner had the door clicked closed then I had her against the wall, devouring her pretty little mouth, my hands ripping, clawing, to rid her of the white sweater and blue jeans that were keeping me from feeling my Ally's skin against mine. She returned my frantic kisses in kind, pulling at my hair, tearing my shirt from my chest, running her nails up and down my chest, my abs, my back. Anything she could touch. I would have welts tomorrow. I would have bruises. And I didn't give a flying fuck.

Somehow we made it into the bedroom. I wasn't sure how. I may have carried her. She may have carried me. I had no idea. It didn't matter. Our clothing lie in shreds, leaving a trail behind us. The thought briefly occurred to me that I hoped we were somewhere decent, so we could have a concierge pick us up some new clothing and bring them to our room, but that thought was gone as quickly as it came. Ally's chest was heaving as I dove between her breasts, kissing, licking, biting. I made my way down her body quickly, but still managing to lavish some small amount of attention on her more sensitive areas. Her belly button. Her hipbone. The crease between her leg and her torso.

Then I knelt down at her altar and I worshipped my angel. Licking, biting, sucking, plunging. Her hips flew up, forcing my fingers deeper inside her. I was not gentle. I was not tender. Neither was she. Our need for each other was far too urgent. I offered myself as an angry sacrifice in exchange for her love. Her soft moans whimpering my name told me my prayers were answered. By the time I'd made my Ally scream in ecstasy, my face was numb from my nose to my chin, my tongue swollen against my chilled teeth, covered in her sweet icy juices.

Ally pulled me forcefully back up to her and the bed shook with the force of it. I grabbed the headboard to keep me from falling on top of her, and she slid down on the bed and took me into her mouth. I should have been terrified. I should have told her no. But I didn't give a fuck. Ally took me into her mouth and I closed my eyes and waited for the pain, the burn. I was ready for it. But it didn't come. She didn't hesitate, she didn't falter. She took all of me in and I screamed from the raw rapture of it as her lips wrapped themselves around me and made me hers. Her tongue teased and flicked and caressed and drove me mad. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the wall while she made love to me with her mouth. I gave in to the sensations until I could take no more. I didn't want to come in her mouth. I needed us to come undone together. As one.

I caressed the top of her head gently. She carefully removed me from her mouth and smiled at me. I was lost in her eyes shining up at me. We didn't lose eye contact as I slid back down her body and plunged into her, not willing to go slow, not willing to wait for her to adjust. I didn't care if it hurt me. I wanted it to hurt. Because if I hurt, then I knew it was real. Ally moaned and writhed beneath me as I pounded into her with all my might, trying with each thrust to get deeper into her, never getting deep enough, close enough. I wanted to get in so deep that we could never be torn apart again. I screamed her name as I came, loud and primal. I screamed because it felt so good. I screamed because it hurt so much. I screamed because it was the only thing I could do.

I buried my face into the crook of her neck as I collapsed on top of her, grateful that I didn't have to worry about my body weight crushing her beneath me. I didn't want to pull out from within her depths.

"I love you, Ally-Angel."

"I love you, too, Adrian. More than you'll ever know."

I looked up at her then, and saw the truth in her eyes, and it gave me peace. No matter what happened, we would be okay. I had to believe that. It was the only thing keeping me sane. I realized then that all I ever needed was her. Forever.

"Ally-Angel, when this is all over, will you marry me?" She looked surprised, but then she smiled her first real smile since that damned vision.

"Yes, I will," I kissed her, a dozen tiny kisses before she interrupted me. "But Adrian?" I looked at her quizzically, and a little scared. This was no time for 'but.'

"When you get the ring, I expect a better proposal than that. I would prefer to be dressed, for one thing!" We laughed together. I would give her any proposal she wanted. I would take her to the top of the Empire State Building. I would get down on one knee in front of the Sphinx if she wanted. She already said yes. Despite the fact that world was falling apart around us, I fell asleep content. Ally said yes.

**A/N: The Cullendales are now in Denver, Colorado! Review and let me know where they should go next!**


	21. Chapter 20: A Bad Goodbye

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do own my OCs, this storyline, and my annual passes to Disney World.**

**A/N: Thanks as always to readingtime. Walt's Kingdom took on a whole new meaning for me now! Theme song for this chapter is "A Bad Goodbye" by Clint Black and Wynonna Judd. **

**Jasper's POV**

Once Bella woke up, I hopped in the shower, hoping she would join me. She didn't. I found her downstairs absentmindedly gnawing on a Pop-Tart. When she saw me come in, she gave me a weak smile and a peck on the cheek before she went upstairs to get cleaned up. It took what seemed like forever for her to come back downstairs. She had a pair of brown leggings and a white sweater dress on, her hair pulled up on the sides but flowing in the back, with just some lip gloss and mascara on. If it weren't for the morose expression on her face and the feeling of defeat and resignation coming from her, she would have been radiant. Except, of course, for the ring, which was now back in place on her left ring finger. I struggled to hold back a growl, wanting nothing more than to turn those diamonds into dust.

Alice and Adrian walked in the door a few minutes later. Adrian had a package in his hand addressed to Bella. On the side, in Emmett's messy handwriting, it said "Do Not Open Until I Call!"

"It was sitting on the porch when we came in. Fed-Ex guy must have dropped it off," Adrian said. He sounded just as miserable as we all felt. Some birthday party this was going to be. I suddenly wished I could get drunk. Of course, with all the heavy emotions in the room, I felt like my head was spinning anyway. I really didn't know how much longer I could handle it. I forced a calming wave through the room, but everyone eyed me immediately.

"Sorry, guys, it's just a bit much to handle. I'm depressed enough as it is, you know?" They all nodded in understanding, but I didn't do it again. Part of me realized that, as miserable as we all were, part of us _wanted_ to be miserable, to wallow a bit.

Carlisle and Esme showed up a short time later, with a couple of wrapped packages and forced smiles. They added nervousness and apprehension to the witches brew of emotions swirling around the room. Lovely. I was almost looking forward to Edward's irritating constant calm. Almost. Unfortunately, luck was not on my side on that front, either.

When Edward arrived, I noticed he had not brought Bella a gift. _Odd_. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't for him to show up empty handed. I searched for his calm front, almost desperate for tranquility in any form, but he seemed unable to hide his emotions. He was conflicted, anxious, and depressed beyond belief, none of which I expected.

Alice had seriously toned down the party from her original plans. There were no balloons, no streamers. She had picked up some lunch for Bella and Adrian, as well as a small ice cream cake that said "Happy Birthday Bella," with paper plates and plastic silverware. It was almost comical. We all sat around the living room and pretended to make small talk about anything and everything but the one thing that we were all thinking about.

The phone rang, and Bella answered it. "Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday Dear Bella, Happy Birthday to You!" Emmett sang. Bella did a pretty good job of sounding happy while they talked for a bit.

"Where are you guys?" Bella asked.

"Kenya. I had been tracking this rhino, I named him Spike. But Rosie won't let me eat him, something about them being endangered, I dunno. We're going to spend a couple more weeks here, and then we're going to take the next six months or so and tour Europe so Rose can go shopping."

"That sounds like fun!"

Emmett started laughing. "Yeah, maybe for her, but definitely not for me OR my wallet. Speaking of fun – did you get my package?" Emmett was chuckling under his breath. This was not going to be good.

"Um…yeah. It arrived this morning," Bella was so nervous about it. She eyed it as if it were a bomb and was chewing furiously on her lower lip.

"Well, go on! Open it already!"

Bella balanced the phone between her shoulder and her ear and carefully pulled the tape off the top of the brown box and looked inside. She shrieked and dropped the box on the floor. She was more embarrassed than I had ever felt her be, and was blushing blood red.

"I figured since you threw your other toy away, and I'm not there to offer you mine, you might appreciate a suitable substitute!" Emmett was laughing so hard it was lucky he didn't need oxygen. He'd have been snorting for air.

Adrian picked up the box and took out its contents. Inside was a rather large box with an explicit photo on it as well as a close up shot of a large, purple phallus shaped vibrator called a rabbit. Adrian burst out laughing and dropped it back into the shipping box.

"I can't believe I'm even asking this question, Emmett, but why exactly is it called a Rabbit?" Bella asked, a slight tone of disgust mixed with her abject humiliation.

"Did you notice that appendage in the front that looked a little like bunny ears? That's why it's called a Rabbit," Emmett answered, his voice as serious as a professor. "Those 'ears' vibrate and are positioned to directly stimulate…"

Bella blanched and Carlisle quickly intervened with a firm "That's enough, Emmett," to which Emmett just laughed even harder, but at least he didn't finish his sentence. Everyone found themselves joining in with the laughter, even Edward. I took a deep breath at the lightened emotions. Count on Emmett for a little comic relief when you needed it most.

"Geez. She's going to be a doctor, for goodness sakes, you'd think she'd be able to handle the word 'clitoris.'"

"Emmett!" Rosalie yelled in the background. He just chuckled some more.

"Sorry Bella, I couldn't resist. We do have a real present for you, but you'll have to wait until we see you in person for it, okay?"

"Okay, Emmett. I'll let you get back to your safari. Be nice to Spike." Carlisle held out his hand questioningly. "You got another minute? Carlisle wants to speak with you."

"Yeah, sure, Bells. Happy Birthday again! We love you, little sis."

"Love you too, Emm," Bella said before handing the phone off to Carlisle, who got Emmett up to speed on recent events. And just like that, the witches brew was back in full, bubbling, simmering force. I was starting to shake from the poison in it. Edward got up from his seat and walked over to me where I was leaning against the wall.

"Jasper, take my seat. You don't look so good." Edward's calm front was back and I looked at him quizzically. He gave me a weak smile and a shrug before taking me by the shoulder and leading me to the spot on the sofa he had previously occupied next to Adrian and Alice.

We all sang 'Happy Birthday' to Bella before she blew out the candles on her ice cream cake. It sounded more like 'Taps.' As the Dairy Queen ice cream cake defrosted, Alice decided it was time to open presents. Bella had already received mine, well, except for the one I couldn't give her now, so I stayed put where I was on the couch.

Carlisle and Esme went first. They bought her a top of the line PDA, already pre-loaded with all the latest medical journal programs. She thanked them profusely for it. Carlisle reminded her once again of how proud he was that she decided to follow in his footsteps.

"Say that again after I get past my first phlebotomy class," she said. We all knew that was the class that both she and Edward were avoiding until the last possible semester.

Alice and Adrian went next. They handed her two gifts. The first was a Scott Hummel cookbook, which she was genuinely thrilled about. Edward asked her if he could see it after she flipped through it. He seemed as excited about it as she was. I didn't need to think too much to figure out why. The other present was also a book. It was a first edition book simply titled Poems by Currer, Ellis, and Acton Bell, published in 1846. Bella looked up in awe, her hands shaking.

"Do you know those authors, Bella?" Alice asked innocently.

"Yes, these are the Brontë sisters. Currer was Charlotte, Ellis was Emily, and Acton was Anne." Alice smiled proudly.

"That's right. This book was written a year before Wuthering Heights." Bella set the book down as if it were made of the most delicate glass, and hugged Alice and Adrian with tears in her eyes.

"Wherever did you find it?" Bella asked.

"When I began researching my past after James' revelation, I found the house my parents lived in. This book was in the attic. I took it because I loved Brontë, and because I thought maybe, just maybe, my mother had held that book at one time. But as time went by and I learned more, the book didn't bring me the joy I thought it would, but I know it will bring joy to you, so now it's yours."

"I will cherish it always," Bella whispered reverently, and Alice nodded.

"Okay, let's go get you two some cake!" Alice said and jumped up out of her seat.

"Wait a minute," I asked. "What about Edward?"

Edward looked at Bella. "You didn't tell him?"

Bella swallowed hard, a tinge of panic coming through. "No, I guess I didn't. I was going to, but then everything got so crazy, it just slipped my mind."

"What's he talking about, Bella?" Edward's eyes darted between Bella and me.

"Edward already gave me my present on Monday, when I stayed at his place. He bought me a trip to Haworth for over Christmas break, to visit the home of the Brontë sisters, ironically enough." Bella looked at Alice, who smiled smugly and we all knew coincidence had nothing to do with it.

"By yourself?" My voice was caught in my throat, my hands unconsciously fisting.

"No, silly. He bought me two tickets, so I could bring whomever I wanted." Bella could see I was getting upset, and was trying to diffuse the situation.

"Oh. I see. And who are you planning on bringing?" I tried to sound casual, but doubted it was coming out that way.

Adrian interrupted her before she could answer, "Guys, don't you think we ought to worry about getting through the next couple of weeks before we start worrying about Christmas Break?" Adrian looked at Bella pointedly. "Come on Birthday Bells, let's go ingest two days' worth of fat grams." Bella followed him without another word.

I turned to Edward after everyone else had gone into the kitchen. "How much did you spend on that trip if you don't mind me asking?" I whispered.

"A lot less than a new motorcycle and a new pickup truck," he whispered back. "What's the big deal?"

"I just thought it was a little extravagant for someone to buy their _friend_, that's all."

"Since when has money ever been an issue with us? Besides, Bella is more than just a friend, Jasper. She's family. You know, this is getting a little old. The book that Alice gave her is probably worth more than that little vacation, and I don't see you giving them a hard time. Can you at least _attempt_ to be fair? And here I thought Bella was going to be the one complaining about the gift."

"She didn't complain about it?" I asked, incredulous.

"No, she accepted it very gracefully, like she did all her other birthday gifts." Edward's eyes narrowed slightly. "She is very excited about this trip, Jasper, please don't ruin it for her. I'm sure you'll both have a great time. Just forget I was the one who bought it."

Alice came back in just then. "If you two are quite finished, we'd appreciate it if you joined us." She rolled her eyes at the both of us and stormed back into the kitchen.

"Bella, you know, I've never been to Haworth…" Alice said leadingly. "I've always wanted to go. Maybe _I_ should go with you…"

"No way, Alice. I'm not spending Christmas without you. Volturi or no Volturi, we are going to be together at Christmas. I have something I need to take care of then." Alice looked at him lovingly, while they shared a little secret in their gaze. For a moment, their sadness was gone as they were lost in each other, but then it was back. Esme seemed to have drifted off into her own thoughts, and between the despair I was feeling from her and Edward's sporadic wincing, I could tell that whatever she was thinking, it wasn't good. My knees started to buckle.

"Bella, can I talk to you alone for a minute? Please?" I begged her. We went into the living room. I took her hands and sat with her on the couch. "Bella, I can't take any more right now. Everyone's emotions are tearing me apart inside. I'm having a hard enough time dealing with my own anguish right now. I hate to waste one moment I might have with you, but I've got to get out of here for a while. Is that alright?" Bella nodded, tears rolling down her face. "I'm sorry, darlin'. I don't want to leave you with a bad goodbye, but I won't be any good to you like this, anyway. We had a wonderful evening last night, let's let that be our farewell until this mess is over." I gave Bella a soft kiss, and then I ran so I wouldn't have to feel Bella's pain at my cowardice.

As I ran, I thought about what I'd done. My flight or fight reflex kicked in, and I didn't really think, I just ran. As guilty as I felt for leaving the way I did, I couldn't help but feel relief the further I distanced myself from the house and all the anguish that was overtaking my senses. I was half way to West Virginia before the internal shaking finally stopped.

**Edward's POV**

I couldn't believe it! I heard his thoughts. I knew he was having a hard time processing everybody's emotions. That's why I redoubled my efforts to bring my own emotions back under control. But to bail on Bella when she needed him most, it made me sick. I shook my head and everyone else's thoughts matched my own. _Did he really just leave?_

Alice came back in and sat down next to Bella. Bella looked up at Alice and sniffled. "I drove him away." Alice shook her head vehemently.

"This is what he does, Bella. It's what he always does whenever there are too many powerful emotions for him to handle. He runs. It's not your fault."

"But we can't help how we feel!" Bella cried.

"Actually, maybe you can," I said softly. Instantly everyone else appeared in the room with us.

"What do you mean, Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"Well, over the past several months, I've been studying meditation and mental focusing techniques, and what I've found is that by applying what I've learned, I've been able to block my emotions from Jasper for the most part. Sometimes when I'm not focused, some feelings show through, but for the most part all he feels from me is calm, which I project almost like a wall that I hide my true feelings behind."

"Why would you do that?" Bella asked softly.

"When we first broke up, you asked me to not make Jasper have to suffer through my emotions. My only two choices then were to stay away from him, and consequently you and my family by proxy, or learn to block him. Obviously, the latter was the only acceptable option to me." I shrugged my shoulders. It was a hard thing for me to admit. I was certain Bella had mistakenly thought I was handling our separation much better than I was, and that Jasper wasn't feeling my pain because I wasn't actually in pain. To now admit to Bella that I had been hiding my feelings was a hard thing to do. She didn't say anything, just looked at me with sorrow in her eyes.

"Do you think you could teach us how to do that as well? It might make things a lot easier on Jasper if we could," Alice asked and Bella nodded in agreement. I looked around and found everyone was very interested in learning, even Carlisle and Esme.

I spent the next hour or so teaching everyone the basics of what I'd learned. I walked them each through meditation and breathing techniques. Even though most of us didn't technically need to breathe, it helped to attain the necessary focus. Unfortunately, without Jasper around, there was no way for me to tell them if they were successful in their attempts or not, but everyone's thoughts led me to believe that if nothing else, it helped them calm themselves down so they could deal with their own emotions a little better. It was an odd way to spend Bella's birthday, but it seemed to give everyone a sense of purpose, or at least a decent distraction. I promised Alice, Adrian and Bella that I would keep working on it with them. Hopefully it will make things easier on Jasper from here on out.

As twilight arrived, Carlisle and Esme decided it was time for them to be heading back. They were flying back to Forks on the redeye so Carlisle could get back to work at the hospital. We all promised to keep them appraised of the situation with the Volturi and hugged them as they left. Alice and Adrian both kissed Bella and wished her a happy birthday one last time before retreating to their room for the evening.

I hesitated, thinking it would be prudent to leave as well, but not really wanting her to be alone. I was sitting, contemplating what to do next. Alice and Adrian's thoughts were turning amorous, and neither Bella nor I really needed to hear that.

"Edward?" Her voice was barely a whisper. She sounded so lost.

"Yes, Bella?"

"Do you think…do you think he's coming back tonight?" I took a deep breath. I didn't want to hurt her, but I couldn't lie to her and give her false hope, either. She was going through enough right now.

"Honestly, Bella? No, I don't. At least, not tonight. Every time he's done this in the past, he's been gone anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of weeks." Bella sighed and nodded her head.

"Can I come over? Move in early? I don't want to be here without him. I won't be able to sleep…in our bed…alone. Plus, if Jasper's not here, I might as well give Alice and Adrian their privacy. They only have two more nights together after all." My heart broke for her. She wanted two more nights with Jasper, but she wasn't going to get them. I'd never felt so conflicted in my whole life.

"Of course, Bella. Why don't you leave him a note and ask him to call you if he does come home?" Bella scrawled out a message on the back of one of her Happy Birthday napkins while I gathered up her birthday presents to take with her. I put my arm around her shoulders and she leaned into me for support as we walked out the door.

When we got home, I poured Bella a glass of wine and set the iPod to shuffle the "Classical" playlist softly in the background. Yo-Yo Ma's "Sayuri's Theme" started playing, it's melody both beautiful and hauntingly sad. Kind of like Bella at the moment.

I sat down next to her and she curled up against me on the couch, taking a small sip of her wine before setting it on the table. She wrapped her arms around my waist, her body in almost a fetal position, and I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, rubbing my hand up and down her forearm slowly. She didn't cry and didn't speak, just stared into space.

"Bella?" Nothing. She didn't even blink. It reminded me of images I had captured from Charlie's mind of Bella when I had left her after her 18th birthday. I vowed to myself then that she would never fall into that abyss again, and I'd be damned if I was going to break that oath now. My mind frantically searched for something that would snap her out of it. Maybe if I did something to make her mad at me, make her yell at me, it would at least garner some kind of response. No, she and I were supposed to start acting like a couple again. Getting her angry at me was not going to help us in that regard.

"Bella?" I asked again, the panic creeping into my voice. She looked up at me then, her face absolutely void of emotion. I heard Alice's voice in my head telling me to do whatever I would have done if we were still together. I traced her shoulder and neck with my fingertips as I brought my hand to her face, caressed her cheekbone with my thumb and weaved my fingers into her hair, massaging the back of her skull. No response at all from Bella. She didn't flinch. She didn't relax. Nothing.

Desperate, I did the only thing I could think to do. I closed the distance between us and I kissed her. I felt that painfully familiar spark, the warmth and suppleness of her lips against mine, her sweet breath, but still she didn't respond. I gave her a second, shorter kiss, and then a third. Just when I was pulling back to give up and try something else, Bella lifted her head ever so slightly, and kissed me back. It wasn't passionate by any stretch of the imagination. It was a silent plea for comfort, begging for a flicker of candlelight to fight against the impending darkness. I continued moving my lips chastely against hers, letting her set a slow pace, hoping she felt what I was trying to say, that I would stay there forever, that I would light a thousand candles if it offered her just a moment of solace. Bella's hand cupped my cheek and I leaned into it as we kissed. Eventually Bella ended the kiss, nuzzling her head into the crook of my neck. We stayed that way in silence until she finally fell asleep.

I carried Bella into bed and tucked her in. I hesitated for a moment, staring at the distraught look that followed Bella even into sleep before I walked away. I considered reading the guide, but couldn't bring myself to do anything but sit and get lost in the music for a while. It wasn't long before the nightmares began. Remembering our conversation from last week when she said I could comfort her if she needed it, I went back in the bedroom and laid down beside her to hold her as she shook in her sleep. Her dreams tonight were not the same as the recurring one of the past few weeks. She screamed for Jasper to come back, she cursed the Volturi for their interference, and finally, in the wee hours of the morning, she begged me to take her pain away and make it better. _I will try, my Bella. It might be the death of me, but I will try._

**A/N: The Naked Cullen Boys are taking the Cullendales review show to New Orleans, Louisiana. It's always Mardi Gras when you've got Jasper and Edward dancing naked and throwing out beads! The next chapter will be the USC game and Bella and Edward's first day together as a pseudo couple. Wonder who they'll run in to at the game... Do you think we could hit 3,000 with this chapter? It would make me SO happy!!!**


	22. Chapter 21: Looking forward to regret

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do however, own my OCs, this storyline, and more clothes with Jack Skellington on them then I care to admit.**

**A/N: As always, thanks to the most wonderful beta in the world, readingtime. Loves ya, BB. I've had a lot of people ask me for reading recommendations, so I'm going to start putting one per chapter in my author's notes. The first one is Ascension by changedbyEdward. It is a fabulous alternate BD story that will make you wish that's the way SM wrote it. It's on my favorites list.**

**Oh, and one more quick thing. Please understand that I do not condone or encourage underage drinking. I just accept it as a natural occurence in college life. It's one of the human experiences. Adrian and Bella are both responsible about it, for what it's worth.**

**Edward's POV**

"Good Morning, Beautiful." Bella barely lifted her head to acknowledge me as she dragged herself to the couch and slumped into it. I supposed it was too much to hope for that the kiss we shared last night would have completely snapped her out of this. She probably didn't even remember kissing me back. In her state of mind, she may have even imagined that it was Jasper. I swallowed back the disappointment. Bella needed a friend now. I poured her a cup of coffee and put some french vanilla creamer in it, just the way she liked it. I put the steaming mug in her hand and kissed her forehead before moving to sit on the other end of the couch.

"He didn't call. He didn't come back," she muttered, more to herself then to me. "I thought he loved me."

"Bella? Please look at me." Bella didn't move. "Bella, please?" Finally, she lifted her head and turned to me, her face sallow and exhausted. If I didn't know better, I wouldn't have believed she got a wink of sleep.

"I don't agree with what he did, but I would be a hypocrite if I didn't point out to you that just because he left, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you." Bella cringed, but said nothing. "Try and see it from his point of view. He probably felt as though he were going to go insane from the onslaught of emotions crashing into him from all sides. Should he have left, sacrificed your last two days together? No, of course not. I'm beyond angry at him right now for doing that to you. But can I understand it? Yes, Bella, I can. There have been times when I felt the need to run away from a situation because everyone's thoughts were crushing me. I would imagine that to actually feel what we were all feeling had to have been torturous."

Bella took a sip of her coffee and gave me a weak smile. She sat there silent for a few moments, then nodded her head. "You're right. I can see that. I just need to let him work through this. I shouldn't be reacting so selfishly."

"I never said you were selfish, Bella. Far from it."

"Thank you, Edward."

"You're welcome, Bella. Now, how do you want today to go? There's the USC game, we can meet up with Alice and go if you're feeling up to it, or if you're not ready to venture out yet, we can just hang out here."

"No, I'd like to go to the game and cheer on Adrian." Bella's voice sounded a little stronger, and she took a larger sip of her coffee. Her face suddenly shot up, filled with panic. "Edward, will I still be able to see Adrian? We can still be friends, right?"

"Yes, Bella. The Volturi aren't going to expect you to not have any human friends. We just have to make sure that he doesn't give them any reason to suspect he knows we're vampires or that he has anything beyond a platonic relationship with Alice." Bella let out a breath and relaxed visibly. "Why don't you get a shower? I'll call Alice and see if she wants to meet us here."

"Are you trying to tell me I stink, Edward?" Bella teased as she stood up. Progress. I walked next to her and lifted a lock of hair, twisting it in my fingers before bringing it to my nose and inhaling deeply. Bella held her breath and stood still as an oak tree.

"Not a single whiff of strawberries…shameful," I teased back, letting her hair fall back onto her shoulder. Bella looked at me in shock and then scrunched her nose at me in false anger before storming off to the bedroom. It might have been convincing if not for the giggles.

I picked up my cell phone and went to call Alice, but found a text message from her waiting for me. _I'll be there in an hour_. Well, that was easy.

Bella came out a short time later, dressed simply in an OSU sweatshirt, blue jeans and tennis shoes. Her hair hung loosely around her in slightly damp tendrils, and she had foregone any makeup. She looked beautiful.

She sat at the counter and I stepped behind her, pointedly smelling the top of her head. "Much better," I said, laughing as Bella tried to spin around and smack me as I jumped out of reach. I went into the kitchen and placed a toasted everything bagel with cream cheese in front of her and poured her some orange juice. She smiled at me gratefully before taking a bite. As she lifted the bagel to her mouth, my eyes focused on my mother's ring. It fit Bella perfectly. It looked so natural on her finger. My mind was just starting to wander into one of my many fantasies of mine and Bella's wedding when Bella's voice snapped me out of my reverie.

"So…how is all this going to work, Edward? I mean…you…and me…and pretending to be a couple?"

I took a deep breath and sighed. "Well, from what I understand, they'll be watching us at all times, so even when we're here at home, we'll have to keep up the charade. And we have to be convincing, we can't give them any reason to think that we're not still in love." My voice shook on the last part, and Bella looked up at me, remembering something.

"Last night, when you were talking about using meditation to block your feelings from Jasper, you said you did it so you didn't have to stay away from me. What did you mean by that?"

_Damn_. I was hoping she wouldn't bring that up. It wasn't something I wanted to go into detail about. It would only serve to cause me more pain, and possibly Bella, too. But there it was, and I wouldn't lie to her.

"I was in terrible pain and was jealous beyond words when we broke up. It wasn't like I could just stop loving you, Bella. But you didn't want Jasper to have to deal with that, and I didn't want to have to be away from you, so I had to hide it."

"Oh, Edward!" Bella looked at me with pity, and I hated it. "I had no idea. I always just thought that you had accepted it, that you took it all in stride. I'm so sorry." Bella looked up at me, realization overtaking the pity in her expression. "This is going to be really hard on you, isn't it?"

I walked around the island and took her hands, beckoning her to stand up so I could wrap my arms around her. "How do I put this, Bella?" I bent down and was about to kiss her when I felt her quivering and thought better of it. I kissed her cheek instead before whispering in her ear, "I'm looking forward to regretting this." Bella wrapped her arms tighter around me and pulled me closer. I melted into her and relished the warmth from her embrace. When she released me, she took me by the hand and squeezed it.

"Let's just try and relax and have some fun today. We'll figure everything else out along the way, okay?"

Alice burst through the door. "Come on guys! We're going to be late!"

When we got to the stadium, Bella was looking around, trying to be inconspicuous and doing a lousy job of it. She was looking for Jasper. I glanced over to Alice, who shook her head slightly. He wasn't going to show up. I put my hand on the small of Bella's back. "Come on, love. Would you like something from the concession stand before we take our seats?"

"Yes, actually, it's a little chilly. I could use some hot chocolate," she smiled at me gratefully, and I pulled her closer to me, putting my arm around her shoulders as we got in line.

"Okay, I'm confused," a voice from behind us said. We turned around and came face-to-face with Kelly, her brow wrinkled in confusion. _So, she left Edward for Jasper, which was stupid on her part, but whatever. Now here she is, with no Jasper anywhere in sight, and she's getting cozy with Edward? _

"Kelly," I started, cautiously. We had to handle her delicately. She could be an issue if the Volturi questioned her. "Bella and I have…reconciled. She and Jasper have broken up. Jasper has gone back to Alice."

"So what happened to Adrian in this little game of musical chairs?" Her tone was biting and it was directed at Bella. _These guys are both my friends, and she seems to hurt them a helluva lot. She needs to make up her freaking mind and quit leading them both on. _I started to reply, but Bella put her hand on my chest to stop me. _Holy Shit! Is that an engagement ring on her finger?_

"Kelly, I appreciate that you are confused, and I'm sure that both Edward and Jasper appreciate your friendship, but this really doesn't concern you," Bella stood firm, and I had to admit, I was proud of her for handling this with her head held high. It would have been easy for her to hide her head in shame from the misconceptions people were bound to have about her with this ruse.

"Fine." Kelly turned from Bella to me. "So are you still able to help me with my composition tomorrow?"

I looked to Bella. "I'm sorry, Bella, it completely slipped my mind. I had invited Kelly over to our house tomorrow to help her with that music project I told you about. Would you mind if she still came over? If it would make you uncomfortable, I could meet her in one of the practice rooms in the music building instead."

"No, Edward. It's fine. I'll finish unpacking while you're working, and then we can have a quiet evening together once she's gone." Bella's indignant tone surprised me, but not as much as what she did next. Bella stood on her tippy toes and kissed me. It was just a quick peck, but still, it shocked me, a fact that, unfortunately, Kelly did not miss. "Thank you for the hot chocolate, Edward. We should catch up with Alice and get in our seats." Bella glanced over at Kelly. "We'll see you tomorrow, Kelly," Bella summarily dismissed her before taking my hand and leading me away from the concession stand.

After we were out of Kelly's hearing range, Bella changed her tune. She let go of my hand and wrapped her arms around her waist, curling her shoulders in. "Everyone's going to think I'm a tramp, Edward, just like she did, I know they are."

I bent down to look in her eyes. "First of all, she's really the only new person we've made friends with since we've been here, so you really don't have to worry about what everyone thinks. Not that you really need to worry about what Kelly thinks, either. We know the truth, that's all that matters," I gave her a soft smile, encouraging her to do the same. I was so glad when she did. We made it to our seats just in time to cheer the team on as they run onto the field. Adrian looked up at our seats as he came out of the tunnel, and I could tell from his thoughts that he was distracted. He wasn't thinking about the game, he was thinking about Ally and this whole mess.

Three sacks, two turnovers, and one missed field goal later, OSU was losing to USC 7-10 with less than a minute left to go. Adrian finally got his head in the game and focused, driving the team down the field with three first downs in a row before throwing a Hail Mary touchdown pass with three seconds left on the clock. Final score 14-10, OSU. Both girls jumped up and down cheering for Adrian as the team lifted him up on their shoulders.

We picked up Adrian outside the locker rooms after he'd showered and taken his turn on the podium answering questions from the press. They decided they wanted to go to BW3's and get some burgers and wings for dinner. Adrian told us he'd managed to get his own room in the football dorms and had put most of his stuff in storage, along with anything that would point to Bella and Jasper's relationship, photos and the like. He would be spending one more night at the house and then he'd start staying at the dorms on Sunday. Adrian couldn't keep his hands off of Alice, and while both Bella and I understood, it was starting to make us both uncomfortable, so Bella ate quickly. We dropped them off at the house, and Adrian and Bella shared a meaningful embrace before we left.

When we arrived back at home, neither of us seemed to know what to do, or how to act. It was odd, the comfortable atmosphere of Bella's nights here when it was 'Hotel Edward,' or even from this morning, was gone. Instead of taking steps forward, we seemed to have taken a step back. I was a bit perplexed about how to fix it. An idea came to me. I wondered how she'd take it.

"Why don't we start small, Bella. Remember how we used to cuddle on the couch and read together? Why don't we try that…we can even read your diary together so we can continue our conversations from last week. It might actually work out well – it'll save me a lot of time highlighting and writing in the margins!" Bella chuckled and nodded her head. I popped her a bag of popcorn and poured it into a bowl for her while she changed into her favorite flannel pajamas.

I sat down on the couch and spread my legs so Bella could sit between them and lean back on my chest. She threw the blanket over our legs and I put the bowl of popcorn on her lap. The whole thing felt awkward and forced. I guess this was why Alice said it would take two weeks to get the kinks worked out of our little deception. That's not to say it didn't feel wonderful, because it did. It took everything I had to not let my body have a very apparent reaction to Bella's close proximity.

"So, where did we leave off?" Bella asked as I put my arms under hers and held the book open and leaning against the popcorn bowl as I flipped to the bookmark.

"The day after the meadow…" I said as I started to read.

_This morning I told him I loved him and he told me I was __his life__. Sigh! Then he said it was breakfast time, so I covered up my throat and pretended to be all scared. He didn't think it was funny, but I did! He rephrased, careful to say 'for the human,' then the barbarian threw me over his shoulder and carried me downstairs. He said he wants me to meet his family later on today. They had actually TAKEN BETS on whether I'd make it out of the meadow alive! I wish I knew which ones thought I was going to be dinner. I hope they weren't disappointed when they lost. I'm really nervous about meeting them. I hope they like me. Edward acted kind of weird when he said Alice saw me coming, I wonder what that was about._

"What was that about, Edward? Had Alice seen James?" Bella tilted her head to ask.

"No, she saw…" my voice drifted off. Bella waited a moment, then prodded me along.

"She saw…what?"

"She saw you, as a vampire," I admitted, much to my chagrin.

"You still hate that idea, don't you?" Bella asked, sounded sad and hurt.

"No, Bella, at least not as much as I did then. Losing you made me reconsider a lot of the beliefs I used to hold firm to. That is just one of them. Obviously, I would prefer you to stay human, but it falls well below your safety and happiness to me in the grand scheme of things." Bella seemed satisfied with that answer, and turned back to continue reading out loud.

_Edward wants me to introduce him to Charlie as my boyfriend. Boyfriend! That word seems so completely insufficient to describe what he means to me. He said he would be here as long as I want him. I told him I'd want him forever (DUH!). That seemed to make him sad, I don't know why._

"I guess that was because of Alice's vampire vision, too?" Bella asked. I nodded my head.

"Bella, I was wrong to think that way. If I had to do it all over again, I would never have squandered the chance to spend forever with you," I whispered. Bella sniffled a little and nodded her head.

_March 13, 2005 (Part 2) – After I got ready to go meet Edward's family, I tripped down the stairs and Edward, of course, caught me. He kissed me and I fainted! SO embarrassing…_

_I got to meet almost everyone. Dr. Cullen (still as gorgeous as ever), who asked me to call him Carlisle. His wife, Esme, was very sweet and made me feel like I was talking to Snow White, live and in person. Alice kissed me on the cheek. Edward didn't seem to like that, but I thought it was nice of her. Jasper, Alice's husband, is more tall and leonine than I remembered him from school. He didn't shake my hand, but I had this feeling of ease come over me, and it made me feel very comfortable. It was impossible to feel awkward around him, even though he was keeping his distance. I wonder if it had to do with his powers. _

I smirked at Bella's comment about Carlisle, then cringed at her description of Jasper. Bella must have felt it, because her voice dropped a little lower as she continued reading.

_Edward played the piano for me, a beautiful song that he said I inspired. I felt so extremely insignificant. Is there anything he's not perfect at? I cried when it was finished, and he did something really weird. He caught a tear with his finger, and put it in his mouth. _

_I realized they can talk to Edward where I can't hear. They say things in their thoughts to him and he responds by nodding his head or whatever. I caught Carlisle doing it. Edward said Carlisle was telling him that Alice had a vision of other vampires in the area, ones that drink humans. _

_Edward told me all about Carlisle and the life he'd led. Edward told me all about his own vampire youth, and the years where he drank from evil humans. I think he expected me to be freaked out. I told him to quit waiting for the running and screaming, that I wasn't afraid of him. So he growled and pounced on me, and we flew into the sofa so fast it hit the wall! Crazy vampire… I'm going to go watch them play baseball later._

_Jacob and Billy were waiting for us when we got back to the house. Edward called Jacob a child. Grrr… if he sees Jacob as a child, then he must see me as one, too. That's the second time that's come up. I'm going to have to say something about it next time. Right then I was more concerned with getting Billy to keep his mouth shut around my dad so I'd have time to get ready before Charlie comes home and Edward comes over. Speaking of which, I'd better get going! I have no idea what I'm going to wear…_

"Bella, I know that I've mentioned this before, but I really am sorry that I ever made you feel as though I saw you as a child."

"I know, Edward. It's okay. You don't see me as a child now, do you?" My eyes smoldered as I chanced a pointed glance down her frame and back up. The thin blanket and flannel PJ's did little to hide her curves. When my eyes made their way back to her face, she was flushed with embarrassment. I smirked a little and nuzzled her ear with the tip of my nose.

"I thought I told you this once already, Bella. You are most definitely…all…woman." Bella's heart rate went through the roof and I laughed.

"You did that on purpose!" She accused.

"Yes, well, I wanted to distract you. I've read enough of the diary for tonight. The next few entries are not going to be very much fun." I thought back to the baseball game, and the time we were separated while she was in Phoenix, and then of my angel at the mercy of James in that ballet studio. I shuttered at the thought.

"I think you'll be surprised reading it. Here, let me show you," Bella said tenderly.

_March 14, 2005 – Okay, I'm a little freaked out right now, so I'm going to try and calm down so I can get everything down. Everything went fine with Charlie, Edward knew exactly how to charm him. We took Emmett's monster Jeep to the end of a road by the side of the mountain, then Edward needed to carry me from there. He knew I wasn't looking forward to doing THAT again, so he decided to distract me. He touched his cold lips to the hollow at the base of my throat, then drew a line up the skin of my throat to the point of my chin with his nose, then he kissed my eyelashes, then down my cheek before finally kissing me. He was driving me crazy with desire. I couldn't help myself, I wrapped my arms around him and parted my lips, hoping he would take it further. His response? "Damn it, Bella! You'll be the death of me, I swear you will!" I tried joking about the fact that he was indestructible, but it didn't work. He explained later that he wasn't mad at me, he was mad at himself for not being able to stay away from me. Then he said He Loved Me! EDWARD CULLEN LOVES ME!!!!!_

_I watched the baseball game with Esme, who was playing referee. I like Esme a lot. She told me how she jumped off a cliff to kill herself after her baby died, and Carlisle saved her when he changed her. It seems like Edward really filled her need for a child, even though he's technically older than her. I thought it was really a sweet story. The game was amazing! They hit the ball so hard it sounded like thunder, and it would fly way into the woods and Edward would disappear, then reappear with it in his hand. I'd never seen anything like it! Edward was showing off a little bit, I think. He's so perfect at EVERYTHING! _

_Then, it all went to hell…_

_Three red eyed vampires showed up, their names were James, Victoria, and Laurent. Long story short, James wants to eat me. Everyone protected me and got me out of there, but now he's chasing us. I had to make Charlie think I was going back to Phoenix with Renee so that James would leave him alone. One brief kiss was all I got before they were gone. Now I'm sitting here in the back of Carlisle's Mercedes on our way to Phoenix, Esme and Rosalie are off somewhere with my truck trying to throw James off my trail while Edward, Carlisle, and Emmett try and track him down to kill him before he kills me. All I want is for this nightmare to be over, for the Cullens to be safe, and for me to be back where I belong – in Edward's arms._

I looked down at Bella. In my arms. I couldn't help but think that she was right. It _was_ where she belonged. And now here she was, and all I wanted to do was love her. She looked up at me when she finished reading, and we just stared at each other for the longest time.

"Bella, may I kiss you?" I whispered to her. Bella nodded her head.

"I guess we have to start sometime, right?" she whispered back, reminding me that even though she was in my arms, her heart belonged to another. I froze. I couldn't do it. I couldn't kiss her knowing she would be thinking about Jasper. Bella put her hand on my cheek and looked at me imploringly. I was certain the pain shown through my eyes as I got lost in hers. I could almost pretend I saw love there. Almost. I drew my face slowly away from her hand and kissed her palm before scooting her forward so I could disentangle myself from her and stand up, turning away from her.

"It's late, Bella, and it's been a long day. I don't want to keep you up any longer." Bella stayed still for a moment or two, then silently retreated into the bedroom, closing her door behind her.

**A/N: The Naked Cullen Boys are going to Disney World! You can see them out and about in Orlando, FL, where they will be doing house calls to my favorite reviewers delivering Tonga Toast, Dole Whips and hot oil massages... I'm still way behind on review and PM replies...forgive me and love me anyway, please?**


	23. Chapter 22: How am I doing so far?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do however, own my OCs, this storyline, and more clothes with Jack Skellington on them then I care to admit.**

**A/N: As always, thanks to the most wonderful beta in the world, readingtime. Loves ya, BB. Okay, someone pointed out that my reading recommendation was also a story I'm beta'ing. True enough. I'm beta'ing four stories and they are all fabulous. They are on my profile. But in the interest of fairness, my reading selections the next couple of chapters will focus on some stories that I don't think are getting enough air time (read: reviews). The first on is Abbracciare il Cantante by Bratty Vamp. If Edward didn't come back after the first day of Biology, and then met Bella again in college, how would things have been different? It is a less angsty Edward and she's doing a wonderful job taking the relationship slowly and developing the characters. Plus, there's Naked Jasper in a hot tub, and Naked Jasper doing cartwheels -- what's not to love? Link is on my favorites list.**

**Edward's POV**

Bella's nightmares began much as they had the night before, wondering aloud why everybody seemed to leave her when she needed them most. I realized then that her fears about Jasper leaving and her worrying that he didn't love her were because of when I had left her. It left a lasting impression on her and she never fully trusted me after that. Apparently, she didn't fully trust anyone anymore. I could understand that. My ability to trust in people had become severely compromised in the past year. How could two people who loved each other as much as Bella and I had inflict so much damage on one another? I guess it's true what they say – you hurt the ones you love the most and hope they'll love you enough to understand.

Bella started calling for me in her sleep, asking me to make the pain go away and make it all better. I went in and laid down next to her. She immediately whimpered and curled flush against me, throwing one arm and leg over my body as I cuddled her. Her dream died off and then seemed to change into the one she'd been having before Jasper left.

"Edward….don't make me fall…please…" Why would I make her fall?

I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her, running my hand up and down her spine. "Shhhhhh, I'm here, baby. It's alright. I won't let you fall. I'll catch you." Bella snuggled into her favorite spot in the crook of my neck and placed a sweet, soft kiss on my collarbone. I stiffened for a moment and waited. She was still asleep; it was just an automatic response to being held. I kissed the top of her head and Bella calmed down immediately and drifted back into deep sleep.

When Bella drew closer to waking, I started to scoot away from her so I could make her breakfast, conscious of the fact that she asked me to not let her know when I held her. But Bella wasn't having it. She grabbed a fistful of my shirt and wrapped herself tighter around me. I could have disentangled her, obviously, but I also didn't want to deny her the comfort she was clinging to, so I stayed, smiling to myself at the soft hums that escaped her throat when she rubbed her forehead against my neck in that half awake state of conscious where you're still in dreamland.

When she finally woke up, she lifted her head and looked at me through sleepy eyes. "Edward?" she asked. She sounded confused, but not angry. I kissed her nose and was pleased when she smiled.

"Good morning, beautiful. I'm sorry I broke your rule, but you have quite a grip in your sleep, my dear." Bella chuckled.

"That's alright. Alice said to start acting like we would have before, right? And to be honest, it felt nice to wake up in y – someone's arms." Bella blushed. "So what's on the agenda for today?"

"Well, first I'm going to make you breakfast, then we need to get cleaned up before Kelly gets here."

"Great." Bella interrupted, her voice sour.

"Come on, it won't be that bad, and it'll only be for an hour or two. You can work on making room in the bedroom for your stuff. After Kelly leaves, Alice and Adrian are bringing your stuff over and dropping off your truck and motorcycle. I thought perhaps if you're up to it, you and I could make dinner for you and Adrian and break in that new cookbook of yours. Then we'll have the whole evening to ourselves to do whatever your heart desires."

"But first I have to put up with Kelly. I don't like her, and she obviously doesn't like me."

"Just give her a chance, Bella. She doesn't know the whole story and she came to the wrong conclusion and for that I'm sorry. But she is a really sweet girl, and I think under different circumstances you two would be friends." Bella growled under her breath. Silly Bella.

I made her some chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, and that seemed to brighten her mood considerably. I decided to grab a quick shower and get changed while she was eating. The hot water was relaxing and I took a moment to think about last night. God, how I wanted to kiss her. I knew I was going to have to kiss her, whether she's thinking about him or not. But truth be told, at that moment I wanted to kiss her not because of this damn play we're having to put on. I wanted to kiss her because I needed her lips on mine, because I needed to show her all the love I felt for her back when she was writing her journal, and because I needed to show her all the love I feel for her still. And I wanted her to want to kiss me back, not because it was expected of us, not because of the ruse, but simply because she wanted to kiss me, too. I knew it was wrong of me. I knew I shouldn't be thinking this way, but I couldn't help it. I was finding it impossible to stay detached. I think subconsciously I keep searching for a sign that Bella still loves me too, searching for a reason to fight for her, to try and win her back. But there are no signs, because she doesn't love me anymore. We're just putting on a play. If all the world's a stage, then surely I'm the one playing the fool.

When I turned the water off, I heard voices in the other room. Kelly. I looked at the clock. She was at least a half hour early, and Bella had to answer the door in her pajamas. Wonderful. Today was going to be a terrific day. I wrapped the towel around my waist and considered peeking my head out the door to tell them I would be just a few minutes, just to make sure they weren't on the verge of a cat fight, but thought better of the idea. Instead, I dried off and changed at vampire speed. I threw on a black t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans, forgoing socks and shoes. I had to slow myself down before I headed for the living room.

As soon as I opened the bedroom door, Bella stalked over to me, ran her fingers through my towel dried hair, grabbed a handful in the back of my head, pulled me down to her, and kissed me. It was no small peck, either. She pressed her body against mine and kissed me so passionately that I completely forgot Kelly was in the room. I completely forgot everything. I put one hand on the small of her back and wrapped her soft hair in the other as I returned her kiss with just as much fervor. Bella moaned against my lips and caressed my lower lip with her tongue. It shocked me back to the present and I found myself opening my mouth to her, carefully covering my teeth with my lips as she caressed my tongue with her own. I was petrified of knicking her tongue, but she seemed to instinctively avoid them. Our tongues danced gracefully together and I could feel her body temperature rise the longer the kiss lasted. I moaned when I inhaled and smelled Bella's arousal. Bella responded by pushing herself even closer to me until I was certain she could feel the evidence of my arousal pushing against her stomach. When she finally ended the kiss, we were both breathless and slightly dazed. _What was that?!_ I kissed her again, two more soft chaste kisses and was about to kiss her deeper again when I heard someone clear their throat in the background. Kelly. Oh. Bella was just putting on a show. Acting. But I could still smell her arousal in the air, swirling around us and driving me mad with desire. I looked at her, confused. She was smiling and her eyes sparkled with mischief and satisfaction.

"I remembered that I hadn't given you a proper 'Good Morning' when we got up." Bella kissed me again and giggled. "Good morning!"

"Good morning to you, too, love. Do you think that we could start every day like that from now on?" I asked her as I kissed her one more time.

"Sounds perfect. I'm going to get my shower while you help your friend with her project. But don't take too long, alright? We've got company coming later, and I'm really hoping we have some alone time before they get here," Bella raised her eyebrow suggestively and I chuckled at her. I had no idea she could be so wicked. She was enjoying this little show we were putting on. Who was I to complain? I put my hands on her hips and pulled her closer against me. Bella laughed and blushed a beautiful shade of pink. She tightened her arms around my neck.

"That sounds wonderful, my love. We won't be long. Two hours at the most. Promise. You can stay and listen if you like."

"No, that's alright. I wouldn't want to disturb you," Bella looked over at Kelly. "It was nice to see you again, Kelly." She looked back at me and our eyes locked. "I love you, Edward." My heart soared like a helium balloon.

"I love you, too, my Bella. So much." She gave me one last quick kiss and released me. I took a deep breath, taking in as much of that sweet aroma as I could before it disappeared, and reluctantly headed for the living room. Bella smacked my butt playfully as I walked away and I jumped, shocked. She must have seen the surprise on my face when I looked back at her, and she laughed out loud as she turned and made her way into the bedroom.

"So…you look happy," Kelly observed as she took her cello out of her case.

"I am," I said, and at the moment I meant it. Later I could chastise myself for getting so caught up in the moment, for letting myself believe in the deception. But not right now. Right now I was happy, and I was just going to let myself revel in the feeling for a while.

"Is that an engagement ring on her finger?" Kelly asked.

"Yes, it is. We're getting married in June." My happiness died down a little, faced with the hardest part of this to deal with. If only we were really getting married….but she's not mine. _Poor Jasper_, she thought to herself.

"How's Jasper feeling about all this?" _I don't agree with what he did to Edward, but he obviously loves her. He's got to be hurting right now. What a messed up situation._

She had no idea. "Like I said yesterday, he's back together with Alice. He's fine, Kelly. We all just realized that we had made a mistake; that we weren't with the people we were meant to be with. I actually wanted to talk to you about all this. We're going to be having…friends…visiting us in a couple of weeks. Friends we haven't seen in a while. The last time we saw them was before Bella and Jasper got together. I was still with Bella, and Alice was still with Jasper. It would make it a lot easier on everyone involved if our friends don't know that we were ever separated. Could you keep it to yourself, please? It would mean a lot to me."

"Sure thing, Edward. I'm sorry for how I acted yesterday. I was just surprised is all. I consider you a friend, and Jasper too, and I just don't want to see my friends hurt. But if you say all is right with the world again, then I'll believe you." Her thoughts did not deceive her. She really was a sweet girl.

"Thank you. I consider you a friend, too. Shall we begin?" We spent the better part of an hour working on the melody. It started out slow and melancholy, but after the bridge the song picked up tempo and became light and full of hope. I was quite pleased with it, and Kelly was, too. Sometime towards the end, Bella came out from the bedroom and sat cross legged on the couch, silently absorbed in the music.

"It's beautiful," she whispered when the last note died off. Kelly beamed with pride and I was glad that she didn't seem to harbor any more ill feelings toward Bella. She was a good friend to me. Bella seemed more relaxed, too, and offered to make Kelly lunch before she left.

"You not eating, Edward?" Kelly asked as Bella made them both sandwiches.

"No, I gorged myself with chocolate chip pancakes this morning. I'm stuffed!" I rubbed my tummy for effect and both girls laughed.

When Kelly got ready to leave, she gave Bella a hug and apologized to her as well. Bella was very gracious and said she understood, and she hoped they could be friends. They made plans to meet for lunch during the week before I carried Kelly's cello to her car for her.

"Thank you so much for helping me, Edward. Do you think we will need to practice it anymore before we have to perform it for my professor next week?"

"I think I've got it, but if you'd feel more comfortable, we can meet after class one day and go over it."

"No, I think it'll be fine. I'll just practice my part to make sure I've got it, too. Thanks again!" Kelly got in her car and waved goodbye as she drove away.

When I turned to head back into the house, I saw Bella standing in the doorway. She stayed there when I approached her, so I tilted my head curiously. She just smirked at me and waited to see what I was going to do. I grabbed her by the waist and picked her up, kicking the door closed behind me before spinning around and pinning her against it.

"Now what are you going to do?" I teased her, and she squirmed against me helplessly, laughing. "You really are wicked, teasing me like that earlier, you know that?"

"I was just making a point," she said, biting her lower lip as she laughed.

"You did far more than that, Bella, and you know it," I started tickling her and she squirmed some more. We were standing so close that it started causing quite a lot of delicious friction between us. I stopped tickling her and she looked up at me, panting.

Before I could think about what I was doing, I bent down and kissed her. Her arms wrapped around me and she ran her fingers up and down the muscles of my back as we kissed. This time it was me who reached out and tasted her lip with my tongue and she opened her mouth to me, allowing me to explore and taste her in the most tantalizing way. I felt more comfortable this way, not so afraid of hurting her as I was when she dominated the kiss. When she needed to come up for air, I kissed her cheek, and trailed tiny kisses along her jaw to her earlobe. I traced the shell of her ear with my tongue before blowing a cool breath over it, causing her to shiver deliciously. The smell of Bella's arousal once more filled the air and I inhaled deeply.

"How am I doing so far?" I whispered in her ear.

"Better than I remembered," she whispered back and her face flushed with embarrassment. I was running my nose slowly up and down her jaw, breathing in the scent of arousal and freesias and strawberries and Bella. God, how I've missed this. I was just getting ready to tell her as much when I heard it.

_Well, that certainly didn't take long_. Jasper. My helium balloon popped in the stratosphere and I came crashing back down to Earth. I pulled away from Bella quickly and she looked at me, confused and seemingly hurt. I didn't have time to ponder that, though. I mouthed his name to her and pointed at the door silently.

"Oh!" she mouthed back, and I didn't need to be an empath to feel the guilt emanating from her at that moment.

Jasper knocked on the door, and I took another step backwards. Bella smoothed out her clothes and hair quickly before turning to open the door. Thick rainclouds had rolled in, darkening the sky and the rain was pouring down. When had that happened? How long had we been kissing?

Jasper was standing in the rain, his hair drenched and hanging in his face. Bella turned back to look at me for a moment, her eyes apologetic, before she slowly stepped out the door and closed it behind her.

I sat down in the chair and closed my eyes, willing myself to calm, knowing that it was no use. It was far too late. He already felt every bit of the love and desire I was feeling, and whatever Bella was feeling at the moment.

**Jasper's POV**

Bella and I just stood and stared at each other for the longest moment. I picked her up and carried her, rained be damned, and ran. I didn't know where I was running to, and I didn't care. I just ran.

We ended up somewhere in the woods. The tree cover was thick enough to somewhat shield her from the rain, and I sat us down on a boulder.

"I'm sorry…" we both said at the same time. I pulled her into my lap and held her.

"I shouldn't have left the way I did, Bella. I know that. It just hurt so much, I felt like I was being tortured by Jane." Bella nodded.

"I understand why you left at that moment. I do. But then you didn't call, you didn't come back, nothing. It made me feel like I did when Edward left me. I can't wait to not have birthdays anymore; they always suck. You know that this is killing me, too, Jasper, but you just abandoned me." Bella shed a tear and she brushed it away angrily with the back of her hand.

"Didn't seem like it was killing you a minute ago," I grumbled. "What was that back there, Bella? The lust I felt through that door was palpable, and it wasn't just coming from Edward." I tried to keep the accusation out of my voice. I told myself I wasn't going to do this.

"I know." Bella hung her head down in shame. "I'm sorry."

"Were you thinking about me?" I hoped.

"No, I wasn't, Jasper. I'm not going to lie to you. Kelly was there earlier and I kissed Edward in front of her. We told her yesterday that we're 'back together.' After Kelly left, Edward was teasing me about it and we got caught up in the moment. I'm so sorry. This is so confusing."

I swallowed back the hurt and jealousy and tried to be as honest with her as I could be. "Bella, I took a lot of time to think about this while I was hunting. I realize that this is situation is going to blur the lines for you, and I don't want to make it any harder on you than it already is. I want you to know that I will try and be as understanding about it as I can be, and I don't want you to feel guilty about anything you have to do to make this ruse work, even if you see that it hurts me. Just please be patient with me, sweetheart, because I'm going to have a very hard time with my jealousy. And most important of all…please remember that I love you and need you and will be counting down the moments until we can be together again." Bella felt euphoric, as though a huge weight had been lifted.

"I love you, too, Jasper. Thank you."

I kissed Bella softly. I would have been content to stay there forever, but the rain was starting to come down harder and Bella was shivering from the cold. I picked her back up and ran back to Edward's. I set her down gently on the porch and turned and ran again before I broke the promise I'd made just five minutes ago.

**Edward's POV**

Bella was only gone about 20 minutes, but it felt like forever. I was worried about her. Was he jealous? Was he angry? I thought maybe I should try and follow them, make sure she was alright. I had to keep telling myself he wouldn't hurt her, he loved her, too. And then the jealousy started. Was she kissing him with the same passion she had just kissed me? Was she thinking of him when she kissed me? I could have sworn she was right there with me, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was just wishful thinking. I was just starting to get really angry at myself when I heard Jasper set Bella back down on the porch and leave. Bella came back in the room, soaking wet, and smiled at me. She looked…relieved.

I jumped out of my seat and ran to her, putting my hands on her shoulders. "Is everything alright, Bella?"

"Yes, everything's fine. He seems like he's handling this much better now. The time away seems to have done him good."

"I'm glad. And how about you? Are you okay?" Bella nodded.

"Just a little wet!" Bella pulled me into a tight hug, getting me almost as wet as she was. She pulled back, laughing, and I realized she'd done it on purpose. I growled at her playfully and she ran to the bedroom. I let her beat me. I stuck out my lower lip in an exaggerated pout as she slammed the bedroom door in my face and locked it, laughing hysterically. I heard her laughter die down and her wet clothes hit the bathroom floor and realized she wasn't going to open the door again anytime soon, so I walked away to give her some privacy.

Alice and Adrian showed up a few minutes later, carrying a couple of grocery bags with them.

"The boxes are under the bed cover in the back of the truck, but we'll have to wait until after dinner for the rain to stop," Alice said as she jumped up and kissed me on the cheek. Adrian followed behind her and tilted his head up in greeting since his hands were full.

"You guys will have to get the motorcycle some other time," Adrian said.

"No problem. The weather's supposed to be better tomorrow, maybe Bella and I can pick it up on our way home from school tomorrow." I said as I closed the door behind them.

"Where is Bells?" Adrian asked.

"She's getting dried off. Jasper showed up a little bit ago and they went somewhere to talk for a little bit." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Yeah, he showed up at the house just as we were getting ready to leave. He seemed to be in full pout mode," Adrian said.

"Really? Bella said that he was better when she saw him."

"Well, I'm sure seeing her and then dropping her back on your doorstep probably took the wind out of his sails. Don't worry, he'll be alright." Alice flitted into the kitchen. I heard the blow dryer turn off and Bella unlocked the door and headed back for the living room. As soon as she saw Adrian, she ran and leaped into his arms. He picked her up off the ground and hugged her tight.

"Tinker Bells! I've missed you, baby!" He gave her a kiss on the cheek and set her back down. "Did you save me any Phish Food?" Bella rolled her eyes at him.

"You guys have a seat and relax. Bella and I will make dinner."

"Sounds cool to me! Got any beer?" Adrian asked. I tossed him one over the island and tried not to cringe when he used the edge of the coffee table to pop the cap off.

Bella and I had a ball making dinner. I did all the chopping, she did all the measuring and stirring and before long we had a lovely looking dinner of broiled maple glazed salmon, steamed veggies, and risotto. It smelled horrid, but Bella and Adrian practically inhaled it, so I assumed it was satisfactory. After dinner, Adrian pulled Alice into his lap in the chair and Bella sat next to me on the couch.

"So, you start sleeping at the dorms tonight?" I asked conversationally.

"Yeah, but I managed to get a dorm on the third floor, so the windows open. The windows don't open on the higher floors. Guess they don't want people jumping," Adrian chuckled. "So Ally'll be able to jump in the window after curfew!" Adrian smacked her ass and Alice squealed. They both seemed much happier, too. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as I thought.

Bella got out the ice cream, for which Adrian was eternally grateful, and we played cards for a couple of hours before they had to go. We walked them to the door and Bella hugged and kissed them both goodbye before they left. When we closed the door, I put my arm around Bella's shoulders and gave her a quick squeeze before I started cleaning up. Bella joined me cleaning up then got ready for bed while I made her some tea. I took it into the bedroom for her and she smiled at me gratefully.

"Goodnight, Bella." I kissed her forehead before turning to leave.

"Wait!" She called and I turned around. "We're supposed to be doing what we used to do, right?"

"Riiight…"

"Well…you used to hold me and sing me to sleep. I was thinking maybe it would help keep the nightmares away." I wasn't sure what to do. Somehow laying down with her while she was still awake seemed so much harder than coming in to comfort her once her nightmares began. I knew we were going to have to do it once Felix and Heidi showed up anyway, but I was having a hard enough time staying detached from the situation as it was, and this definitely wasn't going to help. "Never mind…it was a bad idea…I'm sorry," Bella stuttered, embarrassed.

"No, Bella, it's a great idea." Bella scooted over to make room for me and pulled back the covers. When she curled her body against mine, this time fully aware of who was lying next to her when she did it, the helium balloon took flight once more. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head. She made a small, contented sound against my chest while I hummed her lullaby. As she predicted, her sleep was blessedly nightmare-free.

**A/N: The Naked Cullen Boys are taking the Cullendales Spectacular to Jacksonville, FL! You never know where they'll show up next!**


	24. Chapter 23: Bella's Dream

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do own my OCs, this storyline, and a 20 year old cat who likes to sit on my computer.**

**A/N: Thanks as always to readingtime! You rock my world! Happy Birthday Juliet!!! My reading selection for the week is Hello, Stranger by Burrberry Bugsy. It is an all human story. Bella and Edward had a crush on each other in high school, but neither ever knew. When they meet again in college and are forced to act like a married couple for 28 days for an assignment, will romance blossom? This is a really sweet story and there is something about her Edward that I just love. You'll find it on my favorites list. Theme song for this chapter? "Don't" by Jewel.**

**Edward's POV**

Bella's breathing became stuffy overnight and by morning she had a fever. Her nose was red and runny, she couldn't stop coughing and sneezing, and she barely had the energy to get out of bed to make it to the couch. I poured her some orange juice and brought her over a box of tissues while she sprawled out on the couch under a blanket that she alternately kicked off and wrapped tight around her.

"I'm going to get you some cold medicine, I'll be right back." Luckily, Esme had stocked the bathroom with just about every over the counter medicine known to man, so it was relatively easy to find what I was looking for. I heard her cough again and then blow her nose loudly. _Damn Jasper for taking her out in the freezing rain like that!_

I brought back her medicine and handed her the pills while I put my free hand to her forehead to gauge her temperature, about 103 degrees Fahrenheit.

"Your hand feels so cool against my skin, it's very soothing," she said. It made me feel so good to be able to bring her comfort. I ran my hand along her forehead and the back of her neck in long, slow strokes for a few minutes before she took my hand and pulled as though she wanted me to lay down on the couch with her.

"Just let me send Alice a text to let her know that we're staying home today so she can pick up our assignments, alright?" Bella nodded and blew her nose again. After I sent Alice the text message, I scooted behind Bella on the couch and spooned her to me. She fell back to sleep almost immediately. It felt wonderful to be so close to her, but she was so heated against my skin from her fever that after a while it warmed my marble skin the way the sun heats a rock and makes it hot. She was starting to sweat, my body no longer cooling her, so I decided to get up and make her some chicken soup. It was almost time for her to take some more medicine anyway.

Bella moaned when I woke her, sounding truly miserable. I gave her a mug of soup and some saltine crackers, but she only took a few sips before putting it down, making a face like I'd tried to sneak her snake blood. She swallowed the cold pills with a grimace, saying her throat was sore. Her fever was about the same, and her hair was starting to stick to her face from sweat, so I picked her up and carried her into the bedroom, setting her down on the bed so I could draw her a lukewarm bath. I left her a pair of summer pajamas to change into when she got out. The flannel ones were doing her no good right now.

While she was in the tub, I changed my clothes into a sleeveless t-shirt and a pair of shorts, allowing my own body to cool down once more so that when she got out of the tub, I would be able to assist her again if need be. I folded down the comforter so that she could lay with just the lightweight sheet on her and waited. Bella fell asleep in the tub, and I had to knock hard twice on the door before she woke up with a splash. She dried off and dressed slowly and shuffled her feet back to the bed, flopping down on it rather unceremoniously. I tucked her in under the sheet and kissed her forehead. She muttered something unintelligible before drifting back to sleep.

Alice stopped by after school to drop off jello and chicken soup in addition to our homework for the week. "Just in case," she said before she flitted away again. Somehow I had a feeling that was code for this was going to take a few days for Bella to get over. When Bella woke up, I cajoled her into eating a little cherry jello, but that was about it.

"Will you lay with me? I really did feel better when you were next to me. We could watch a movie or something. I'm tired of sleeping." We decided on Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I laid down under the covers with Bella and held her close. I could feel the heat radiating from her. I hated seeing her sick. I pulled her a little further on top of me and, hesitating for only a moment, slid my hand under the hem of her tank top in the back, placing my palm on the small of her back, trying to gain the most direct contact possible to relieve her fever. She gasped a little at the initial shock of my hand against her damp skin, but then hummed from the coolness I provided. Her sweet sounds emboldened me and I caressed her lower back by splaying my fingers and just twisting my wrist left and right. Although I was doing it for her, I couldn't deny that even with her skin being so hot and clammy, it felt wonderful to be able to touch her like that. Bella lifted her head to look up at me and I gave her a tender kiss. Bella looked startled.

"Edward, you shouldn't do that," Bella chided. "I'm sick."

"It's not like I am going to catch your cold," I reminded her.

"True," she said with a shrug of her shoulders. I kissed her again, and this time she returned it. I didn't let it go any further than a soft, chaste kiss before breaking away.

"Rest, my Bella." Bella smiled at me and laid her head back down on my chest. Eventually Bella fell asleep. I got up for a while to allow my surface temperature to go back down, but Bella's nightmare came back and so I returned to bed to hold her and promise her yet again that I would always catch her if she fell.

The next three days continued much the same, me caring for Bella and her being lethargic and miserable. I made her soup, massaged her neck and back when she complained of muscle aches, and held her whenever she got too hot. Outside of Alice's one brief visit and a text from Kelly wondering if Bella was alright when she missed their lunch date, we hadn't had any contact with the outside world. If it weren't for the fact that Bella was so sick, it would have been really nice, just Bella and me in our own little cocoon.

On Thursday evening, Bella's fever finally broke, but I convinced her to stay in bed one more day anyway. On Friday morning, I made her some tea and brought it to her with some toast with jam.

"Good morning, beautiful," I said as I placed the tray over her lap. "You look like you're feeling better this morning."

"I am," she said, taking a sip of her tea. "Thank you so much for taking such good care of me. You shouldn't have had to do that."

"It was my pleasure, Bella. There's nowhere I'd rather be," I said as I sat down on the edge of the bed next to her.

"We missed almost a whole week of our two weeks to start acting like a couple again. Do you think it'll hurt us? Do you think they'll figure it out now because of me?" I could tell she was starting to panic. It was the only thing that kept her words from cutting me like a knife. I knew she didn't mean it the way that it came out, but it still stung a little. In my mind, the past couple of days felt as though we _were_ a couple again. Acting hadn't even crossed my mind. I guess she didn't see it that way. She probably just saw a good friend helping her.

"Bella, calm down. For one thing, isn't this something most couples do for one another? Take care of each other when they're sick?" Bella snorted and rolled her eyes at me.

"Not when half the couple is a vampire who never gets sick."

"If it will make you feel better, I could pretend to be sick and you could take care of me…" Bella smiled, then she ducked her head away and blushed. _What could have possibly caused that reaction?_

"What? What were you thinking just now?"

"Nothing. No way. Forget it. Moving on," Bella insisted, biting her lower lip.

"Why won't you tell me, Bella?" I asked seriously.

Bella chose to answer the question with another question. "Edward, do you find any of this…confusing? Us being together, but not."

"No, I don't find it confusing at all. Bittersweet and painful, maybe, but not confusing. But Bella, it's different for me. I love you. I am still every bit in love with you now as I was when we were together, if not more so. I know you're not oblivious to that fact," I touched the charm on her necklace where the clasp had drifted to the front and pressed it gently to her skin for emphasis. "Just as I'm certain that deep down you knew I wasn't dealing with our separation as easily as I let on."

Bella contemplated that for a moment and then nodded her head. "Yes, I suppose you're right."

"You always seem to believe the most outrageous lies, even in the face of the most fundamental truths. It is actually number three on my list."

Bella was intrigued. "Number three? What was number two?"

"Your insecurities. No matter how many times I told you, you would never believe that you were beautiful, that you were worthy of any amount of love or sacrifice. It was beyond frustrating at times."

Bella surprised me with her quick retort. "I can imagine. I'm sure it would be similarly frustrating to having to deal with a vampire who insisted he was a soulless monster, who refused to be convinced that he was worthy of any amount of love or sacrifice."

My mouth opened and closed but no words came out. Bella smirked in satisfaction before scooting her body down under the covers again.

"I'm sorry, Edward, but I'm still really tired. Can we finish this conversation after a nap?"

"Of course, love. Shall I hum you your lullaby?" I asked as I laid down next to her, and she assumed her usual position with one arm and one leg flung over my body, her head in the crook of my neck. She fell asleep quickly, and the nightmare about falling quickly resurfaced. I wished she would say something that would give me a better idea what her nightmare was about. Did she fall down a well? Was she watching too many Lassie reruns on Nick at Nite? I was mentally recapping every television show and movie we'd watched together searching for a clue when her murmurs changed.

"Tired of fighting…" she moaned. The leg that was between mine hitched up, pressing her knee firmly against my member, eliciting an involuntary hiss from me as I hardened against the friction. I scooted up a little to put some space between me and her knee, but Bella just followed me, pressing her heated sex against my hip and her knee against my now painful erection.

"Mmmmm…." Bella slid her hand up from where it was resting on my shoulder to cup my neck and began placing soft kisses along my collarbone. I took a sharp intake of air and was bombarded with the scent of her arousal.

"Bella?!" I realized her nightmare had ended and she was now having a dream of a more sensual nature. I started to disentangle myself from her before the situation became any more awkward. It was always hard enough on me when she would have these dreams when we were together, but when you added in the very real possibility that she was dreaming about Jasper, it became even more unbearable.

"Mmmm…Edward…" _What?!_ One look down and I saw that she was definitely still asleep. "So good…I had no idea…" I was frozen in place, absolutely shocked. Bella began grinding herself against my hip, her knee rubbing against me. I could feel her nipples harden and press into my side. She became flushed and she picked up speed. "Just like that, Edward…don't stop…" I knew I should move. I should push her off of me and stop this. But while my brain said 'Go,' my body said 'Stay.' Then she said the words that allowed my heart to be the tiebreaker. "Edward…I love you." I stayed. I didn't touch her back, I didn't move, but I didn't leave. I was certain I would regret it, but for the moment, I was just going to close my eyes and enjoy it. I let her work her body against me, let her hands wander over my chest, let her lips press against my skin as she moaned and writhed.

When her hand made its way to my crotch, my body involuntarily bucked against her and she squeezed me. I found myself biting my lip, trying to steel my body against the feeling building in the pit of my stomach. Bella started stroking me through my jeans, harder and faster. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander, visualizing what it would be like to make love to Bella. Was she dreaming of me making love to her, thrusting into her with every stroke of her hand? I could feel myself throbbing beneath her touch. How I would love to be truly connected with her, feel myself deep inside her welcoming body. Bella cried out my name as she reached her climax. "Edward! Yes!" I exploded under her hand, groaning and gritting my teeth together, grabbing the sheet for support as I came in my jeans. I had never felt anything so pleasurable in my entire life! It was so much better than I'd ever dreamed. But I was immediately gripped by the iron hands of guilt. It felt wrong to me to allow that to happen without Bella's express knowledge. But…she _was_ thinking of me. She had enjoyed it too, even if it was in her sleep. I knew I would have to tell her about this when she woke up. I hoped she wouldn't hate me for it.

Bella's breathing returned to normal she began softly snoring. Her grip on me had loosened, and I was able to sneak out from under her, placing a soft kiss on her forehead before heading for a much needed shower.

Once under the hot spray of the shower, I thought not just about what had happened, although my mind wanted to think of nothing else. I thought about what she'd said. Bella said she loved me. Granted, it was in a dream and she didn't know she said it. But she had said it nonetheless. It reminded me of the day she'd said she loved me in her sleep when we first met, and it filled me with the same sense of hope and determination as it had then. If Bella truly loves me still, then I would just have to find a way to prove to her that we were meant to be. I would show her that I could make all of her dreams come true and be the man I should have been before. If Bella loves me, then nothing would stand in our way. I just had to figure out a way to find out for certain that it wasn't all just a dream.

**A/N: The Cullendales are in the Windy City, visiting Edward's old stomping grounds in Chicago! Only a few more stops left in the US before they head back overseas. Get your requests in now! Emmett would love to personally introduce you to Spike (and he isn't talking about a rhino)!**


	25. Chapter 24: Confessions Part I

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own this storyline, my OCs, and way too many scrapbooking supplies!**

**A/N: Readingtime, I love you. NDNF, bb. Theme song for this chapter is Thinking of You by Katy Perry. Reading recommendation for the week is Vampire in the Basement by Michellephants. Very few stories make me drop everything when they update the way that this one does. Bella is best friends with Alice and the Cullens. Edward is not one of them. On a hunting expedition, Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett find an injured, crazed, naked vampire in the woods. They lock him in the basement while they figure out what to do for him, and he reacts like a scared, caged animal. Bella feels compelled to go into the basement to help him. Seriously, people, I hang onto EVERY WORD of this intriguing story. She is doing an excellent job pacing it, and I can't wait to find out what happens next. It is on my favorites list.**

**Edward's POV**

Bella woke up an hour or so later. I fixed her some lunch while she was in the shower, trying to figure out exactly how to approach the subject with her. How do you tell someone that they gave a 100+ year old vampire virgin his very first orgasm, even if they weren't awake when they did it? I mentally went over a hundred different variations but each one sounded worse than the one before. I finally gave up and decided to just play it by ear.

I still couldn't believe it had happened, or how good it felt when it did. No wonder every teenage boy, and most men for that matter, was completely obsessed with sex! There was no way I wanted to go the rest of my life without experiencing that feeling again. I needed to share that feeling with Bella. Frequently. How much more wonderful would it have felt to orgasm while actually making love to Bella? I shuddered at the thought while my body reacted to my musings in a most uncomfortable manner.

On the opposite end of spectrum from my euphoria over my first real sexual experience was my guilt. Did I take advantage of Bella? Did I do to Jasper what he had done to me? I wanted my Bella back, but I wanted to do it the right way. That was assuming I even stood a chance at getting Bella back. She'd said she loved me in her dream, and she was obviously thinking of me in an intimate fashion, but what does that mean exactly?

"Hey you," Bella said as she strolled into the room, looking very…relaxed.

"Hey yourself. Sleep well?" I asked, and Bella blushed. "I made you some grilled cheese and cream of tomato soup. What do you want to drink?"

"Yum! Milk?" Bella dunked her grilled cheese in the soup and took a bite, getting tomato soup on her chin. I sat down next to her and reached out and wiped the soup off with a napkin. "So…um…did you want to finish that conversation from earlier?" Bella stammered.

"Yes, I would." Seemed like as good a place to start as any.

"You were right. I never felt I was good enough for you. I never felt worthy of your love. I think that on some level I pushed you away because of it. Kind of like you did to me." Bella dunked her sandwich again and took another bite, once again dripping tomato soup on her chin. I fought back the urge to lick it off for her. What was happening to me?

"I didn't push you away because I felt unworthy; I pushed you away to keep you safe!" Bella raised one eyebrow at me as if to say 'who do you think you're fooling?' "Okay, so maybe I pushed you away because I felt undeserving AND to keep you safe." That was the truth.

"I'll buy that, but Edward, you are so wrong. You are not a monster. You are a wonderful, loving, sexy man with a strong moral fiber who just happens to survive on blood and lives forever."

"You think I'm sexy?" My body shot to attention, thinking about her dream. Strong moral fiber, indeed.

"Yes, I think you're sexy. I always have," Bella smiled at me like that was the dumbest question I had ever asked before taking a bite of her sandwich. Then she mumbled to herself, "Maybe if I hadn't found you so sexy, we'd still be together."

"How do you figure that?" The anger I felt at that comment tinged my voice despite me trying to keep it in.

"Well, because I was all hot and bothered by you all the time and you were so completely unaffected by me, and eventually it just became too much for me to take." I smelled it then, the unmistakable scent of Bella's arousal. What was she thinking? Was she hot and bothered by me now? Perhaps I wasn't the only one with this insatiable urge. I'd gone for over 100 years without an orgasm. Now I'd only gone a few scant hours and my body was craving it like a drug. Of course, I'd always craved Bella, in more ways than one.

"Bella, we've had this conversation already. I was never for one second 'unaffected' by you. Hell, you still affect me! Just two hours ago, you affected me more than I ever thought possible!"

Bella looked at me confused. "What do you mean, Edward?"

I took a deep breath and sighed. This was not how I wanted this to come out. "Bella…do you remember the dream you had while you were napping?" Bella immediately turned deep red and her heart rate went through the roof. She did remember. But how much?

"I have a confession to make, and then we can return to the discussion of my strong moral fiber and the level at which you affect me. Just please hear me out before you say anything, okay? This is really tough for me to say." Bella bit her lip and nodded. "You were having that same nightmare again and I was holding you, but then it changed. You started having a…sex dream. About you and me. Do you remember it?" Bella nodded and her heart skipped a beat.

"I take it I was talking in my sleep?" _Not quite, my Bella._

"You weren't just talking in your sleep, Bella. You were physically acting out your dream. You were rubbing against me and touching me and saying such sexy things to me. I know I should have left, but I just couldn't. It felt _so_ good. I'd never felt that way before in my life. Ever. You had an orgasm rubbing on my hip. You took me in your hand through my clothes and made me…climax from it."

Bella's eyes went wide. "Oh my gosh, Edward! I'm so sorry!"

"Sorry? What for? I should be the one apologizing. You didn't realize what you were doing. I, on the other hand, feel like such a pervert. I mean, who has their first orgasm with his ex-girlfriend while she's sleeping?"

"What…wait a minute. Your _first_ orgasm? As in, ever? Of any kind?" I turned my head away from her and nodded, embarrassed. "You've honestly never…touched yourself or anything?"

"No. I was raised to believe that pleasuring yourself was not proper; that it was immoral."

"Well, that explains why you got so upset when you realized I had done that," Bella's voice sounded shameful. I couldn't have that.

"No, Bella! That wasn't why, or at least, it wasn't the main reason. It was mostly because I felt so guilty for not being able to satisfy your needs. You shouldn't have needed to touch yourself. But that's not really the point. The point is that if you didn't _affect_ me, your dream, your words and your touch wouldn't have done that to me. I wouldn't have had that reaction." Bella looked down and didn't say anything. "Bella, are you very angry at me? I'd understand if you are. Please tell me what you are thinking."

Bella started to cry. "I'm thinking that I'm so glad I was able to do that for you. I'm thinking that I wish I had been awake to see your face when you climaxed for the first time. I'm thinking about how much I want you right now. And I'm thinking how totally wrong it is for me to be thinking all these things!"

I picked her up and carried her to the couch, sitting down with her in my lap. I tapped her chin and begged her to look at me. "Bella, do you want to know why I stayed? Why I couldn't make myself get up when your dream began?" Bella nodded. "It was because you said you loved me." Bella buried her head in my shoulder and started crying harder.

"Please look at me. Why are you crying?" Bella looked up and I wiped away her tears with my thumbs. "Don't cry, love. Talk to me, please."

"Edward…those feelings for you, the attraction, the love, they never died for me. I didn't realize until this week just how strong those feelings still were. Now we're here. We're supposed to be pretending that we love each other, but I don't feel like I'm pretending, and I don't think you are, either. It just feels so right and so wrong at the same time."

"Wrong? How so?" I refused to believe that our love could ever be wrong.

"Because of Jasper! He told me not to feel guilty for anything I have to do to make this ruse work. But that only counts if it's actually a ruse, right? I mean, it's one thing for us to make believe in order to save everyone's lives. But if you're not pretending, and I'm not pretending, then what we're really doing is cheating, isn't it? I vowed to myself that I would learn from that mistake, that I would never repeat it. This isn't fair to him, any more than it was to you. I can't do that again, Edward. You were right. I knew what it did to you. I didn't want to admit it, even to myself, but deep down I knew. It killed me, Edward. And I swore I would never hurt anyone that way again."

"Bella, do you love me? The way that I love you?" Bella looked at me and her lip quivered. I kissed her lightly, hoping to stop the quivering, but it didn't work.

"Yes," she whispered. "I've never stopped loving you." She was playing with her heart necklace. I loved it when she did that.

"Then we should be together," I told her.

Bella wrenched herself from my arms and stood up, pacing the living room and talking with her hands for emphasis. "It's not that simple, Edward! I love Jasper too. And he loves me, Edward, he does. He doesn't deserve this. I know that what we did was wrong, and he had a hand in hurting you too, but he doesn't deserve this any more than you did. I WON'T cheat on him, Edward." I had never seen Bella so strong willed, so determined. As much as it pained me, I had to admit that I was proud of her. I wasn't the only one who was learning.

"You're right. So what do you want to do, Bella? Regardless of whether we're pretending or not, we _have_ to be a couple now. It's the only way to protect our family from the Volturi." Bella stared at an imaginary spot on the wall. Then her face became determined, her arms dropped to her sides, and her hands balled into fists.

"I'm going to have to break up with Jasper. I can't get through this and be thinking that I'm cheating on him. Not only is it not fair to him, but the Volturi would see my guilt every time I looked at him; they'd see right through me. But that does NOT mean that you and I are back together. Understood? I'm so confused that I don't know what to think anymore. I can't tell right from wrong, and the last time I felt like that… I just need some time to think."

"Understood, Bella. I want to do the right thing, too. But I'm not going to lie to you. I see this as an opportunity to prove to you that we should be together forever. I'd be a fool not to take advantage of it, and I'm done playing the fool."

"Edward…" Bella looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Take all the time you need. I think it's a good idea, actually. It's not as though we need a lot of practice to 'act' like we're a couple for the Volturi; it seemed to come pretty natural," I smirked a little at that and Bella rolled her eyes at me. "We'll still need to be publicly affectionate to cement our relationship in the eyes of whomever the Volturi might question, but when we're at home this week, it's on your terms. If you want to talk or be close, we will be. If you want to be left alone to your thoughts, I won't bother you. Fair enough?"

"Fair enough." Bella smiled grimly and then turned and headed for the bedroom.

"Bella?" I called after her. She turned around and I ran to her, taking her hands in mine.

"I love you. Never Doubt, Never Forget."

She squeezed my hands. "I never did. I love you, too, Edward. Never Doubt, Never Forget." I kissed her forehead and released her. Bella disappeared into our bedroom and closed the door. She didn't come out again that night.

Her nightmare started once more sometime in the wee hours of the morning, and I snuck into the room to climb into bed and cuddle her.

"Edward…don't make me fall…in love with you…again." Well, at least it makes a little more sense now, I chuckled to myself. How long had she been having this dream? She had it the very first time she stayed over, but who knows how long she'd had it before. Had Jasper heard her say those words in her sleep? Was it possible that he knew all along that Bella still loved me?

Bella still loves me! Bella is still in love with me! I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. It was hard for me to remember that, regardless of her feelings, she still wasn't mine. Yet. I would respect her wishes, give her some time to process everything, come to terms with her feelings, and do the right thing by Jasper. Then we'll deal with whatever the Volturi throws at us. But after that, all bets are off. I believed now more than ever that Bella and I were meant to be, and I was going to prove it to her. If I had anything to do with it, that ring on her finger would stay there…for eternity.

I snuck out after Bella's sleep talking ended, not knowing what state of mind she might be in when she woke up. She surprised me when she came out in her OSU football jersey and a pair of cut off sweatpants, her hair pulled up in a messy ponytail. "Wanna watch the game with me?"

"Absolutely!" Ohio State was playing an away game at Minnesota and Alice had flown out to watch it in person. I made Bella a bowl of popcorn and we curled up on the couch to watch the game on ESPN. Adrian was in top form, and they easily won. I looked over and realized that Bella hadn't eaten any of her popcorn.

"Hey, missy. I'm getting tired of making food for you that always goes to waste," I teased.

"Then you eat it!" Bella smiled at me devilishly before grabbing a handful of popcorn and throwing it right in my face. I jumped up and snatched the bowl away from her and threw a handful back at her while she hopped around in vain to grab the bowl from me. I threw some more at her and this time she resorted to scooping a handful off the floor to throw back at me. By the time she was spent from our food fight, what wasn't lodged in our hair or clothing ended up on the floor or stuffed in between the cushions of the couch, which crunched when we collapsed on the sofa, giggling.

Bella was still chuckling as she propped herself up on her knees next to me on the couch and plucked all the popcorn kernels out of my hair. I closed my eyes as she ran her fingers through my hair, caressing my scalp with her fingernails, drawing a soft purr from the back of my throat. "Bella…" I breathed, and placed my hands on her hips. She stopped and I opened my eyes to take in the conflict raging in her chocolate orbs.

"Edward, I can't. It's not right." Bella forcefully blew out a breath and backed away from me before we both did something she would regret. My hands fell to my sides in defeat. "Let's read some more of the diary together. That's probably a safe activity," she suggested. _A safe activity where you're nestled in between my legs, your back pressed firmly against my chest while your hair tickles my neck and your aroma teases my senses_, I thought to myself.

"Sounds perfect," I replied. I grabbed the guide from the study and we snuggled on the couch under a blanket.

_March 15, 2005 – We're sitting in a hotel room waiting. Just waiting for someone to call and tell us that it's over, that everyone is alright and we could go home. I'm so scared for everyone. It's not right that they're all risking their lives for me. Jasper said I'm worth it. He's crazy. He told me that I'm worrying about the wrong things, that they'll be fine, but how can I not worry? I can feel him keeping me calm. I should be annoyed at that, but I can't be at the moment._

_Alice explained to me about how the transformation from human to vampire works. It sounds really painful. Still, to be able to spend forever with the one you loved, it would be worth it, I think. I look at the rest of the Cullens and can't help but think I would like to have that with Edward._

_Edward finally called! James got away, he took a plane somewhere, they don't know where. Esme is keeping Charlie safe from Victoria. They're trying to figure out where James went so they can follow him. Edward said he felt as though I've taken half of him with me. I told him to come get it. I miss him so much. I never knew love could feel so strong, so powerful. Sure, it's like that in all my favorite stories, but I've never seen it in real life. Charlie and Renee weren't exactly stellar examples of true love._

_Alice had a vision – James is going to be in a ballet studio. She drew a picture of what she saw. It looked just like the one I went to as a kid right here in Phoenix. I called my mom and left her a message. If James is here, I don't want her anywhere in the state._

_March 16, 2005 – I woke up to Alice drawing a picture from another vision. A picture of my living room in Phoenix. Jasper had to calm me down again before I had a panic attack. They told me Edward was on his way here to take me away before Jasper tried to use his powers to make me sleep. He really shouldn't do that to someone without their permission, even if he was trying to help. Still, I felt bad for snapping at him over it. I shouldn't complain when they're risking their lives for me. _

Bella's hands were trembling as she read. I put my own hands over hers to calm her. I noticed the handwriting for the next segment was incredibly sloppy and tear stained. She had obviously been frantic when she wrote it. I was just about to take the book from her hands when she started reading again.

_James just called me. From my house. He has my mother! He told me the only way to save her is to get away from Alice and Jasper and go to my house. There'll be another number there for me to call and find out where to meet him. I'm sure it'll be the ballet studio. I'm going to do as he asks. There's no other way. I'll have to sneak away from Alice and Jasper at the airport and go to die. I'll never get to see Edward again. This is going to hurt him so much, but if it saves my mother and keeps the Cullens safe, then I have to try. I wrote Edward a letter telling him I love him and not to go after James when I'm gone. I'll have to find a way to hide it in Alice's things and hope he finds it. I hope he knows that I died loving him. More than Juliet loved Romeo, more than Elizabeth Bennet loved Mr. Darcy, more than Katherine Hepburn loved Spencer Tracy, I love Edward Cullen._

I hugged Bella tight and whispered in her ear. "More than Romeo loved Juliet, more than Heathcliff loved Catherine, more than Bogey loved Bacall, I love Bella Swan." Bella didn't say anything, but I felt the corner of her lip draw up in a soft smile as she leaned into me and started reading again.

_March 18, 2005 – It's over. I'm in a hospital room now. James never had my mom, it was a trick. He broke my leg and four ribs, cracked my skull and bit me before they killed him. Edward sucked out the venom so I wouldn't turn into a vampire. The story is that Edward came to Phoenix with his parents to talk me into coming home, I went to meet them and fell down two flights of stairs and through a window. Is it completely pathetic that everyone finds that so plausible? _

_Edward started talking about me going to Jacksonville, away from him, to keep me safe. I started hyperventilating, of course, which felt fantastic with my broken ribs! Finally, he swore he wouldn't leave me. _

_I asked Edward why he didn't just let the venom change me. I wish he would have. A strong relationship requires two people to be equals, and right now we're not. But we could be. Why doesn't he realize that the only thing in this life that I'm not willing to lose is __him__? He pissed me off when he said that he shouldn't exist. For a centurion, he says some pretty dumb things. Like when he said what I felt was 'just a crush' and that 'things change' for humans. Dumb. Then he called the nurse despite my protests and had her give me some more pain meds to make me sleep. Way to stop an argument, huh? I asked him one more time to stay before I fell asleep and he said that he would stay as long as it made me happy, as long as it was what was best for me. That statement scares me. As for the whole vampire issue, if he won't do it, I'll ask Alice. I'm not giving up._

Bella kept reading, but I was no longer listening. I was deep in thought. She was right. I was pretty dumb. How could I have doubted her love for me, brushed it off as a silly human crush? Then the incident with the pain medication. She was in pain, she just didn't want to admit it, didn't want to sleep. I felt as though she needed the rest whether she realized it or not. But it should have been her choice, her decision. I felt as though the fight was moot, there was no way I was changing her, so why continue the conversation and get her worked up over nothing? I was so arrogant. What I did was not much better than Jasper's recent stunt. Bella was right. We need to be equals, and not just in the physical sense of the word, but in every way.

Bella was just reading about the Prom and complaining in her journal about being forced to play Guinea Pig Barbie with Alice when I interrupted her.

"Bella, do you still want to be changed?" I wondered, considering the fact that she was not certain about so many things in her life, including who she wanted to share it with, if she would even still want to become one of my kind.

"Yes, Edward, I do." I wanted her reasons, but there was no way to ask without her thinking I was questioning her reasoning. She would automatically assume I was trying to talk her out of it again.

"Then I'll do it for you. Whenever you're ready, I'll do it." I shocked even myself, but I meant it. With my whole heart, and with no hesitation. Bella believes I have a soul; that we all do. She feels that our ability to love and to act with a conscience proves it. I wanted to believe her, but even if I could never admit that _I_ had a soul, I couldn't see any possible way in which Bella would be without one, human or vampire. I had denied her so many things she had wanted, needed. I would not deny her this any longer. If she wanted immortality, it was hers.

Bella looked at me, her brows furrowed in confusion. "You would do that?"

"Yes, Bella. I want to spend forever with you. Not just one lifetime, but a hundred lifetimes. And more importantly, I want us to be equal partners, in everything."

"Edward, as much as I'm jumping for joy on the inside at your change of heart, I'm not ready to have this conversation with you. I can't promise you tomorrow, let alone a hundred lifetimes. I still have a lot of thinking to do."

Bella went to bed shortly after that. Her sleep talking was filled with unintelligible murmurs. The only words I was able to decipher were mine and Jasper's names. I stayed in the living room. Sunday was spent in companionable silence, getting caught up on homework and tidying up the house together. After that, Bella asked me to help her practice controlling her emotions, so I assisted her in her meditations and worked with her on mental focus. The closer we got to Monday, the more my trepidation grew. As much as I was looking forward to an excuse to be affectionate with Bella again, I despised returning to reality. Reality meant that we only had a week until the Volturi arrived. Reality meant facing Jasper.

**A/N: The Naked Cullen Boys are taking the Cullendales Spectacular to Boston! There are a few more US stops, then a couple in Canada before they head back overseas. Reserve your spot today! Next chapter will be Jasper's POV, for everybody who's been missing him...he's missed you too!**


	26. Chapter 25: Confessions Part II

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do however own my OCs, this storyline, and more Christmas decorations than Santa Claus.**

**A/N: Thanks as always to my awesome beta readingtime! Thanks to changedbyEdward for help with my theme song selection, which is Ain't No Sunshine by Bill Whithers. Story selection for the week is The List by LauraACullen. Bella and Edward decide to 'practice' before their wedding, to build up his endurance and push his boundaries. Bella makes a list of all the things she wants to try. Each chapter is a different kind of lemony fun! This is one of the few stories that had me addicted enough to read it on a certain other FF website, even with the white type on black background. I was thrilled, however, when she started posting it here as well. It's on my favorites list.**

**Jasper's POV**

Thank God it was Monday. _If Bella's not back at school, I swear to God I am going to his house and kidnap her_. _Fuck the Volturi_. The past week has been utter hell. Alice told me that Bella had a cold and that Edward was staying at home to take care of her. That wasn't his job. It was my job. Alice assured me it was just a cold and warned me to leave them alone. She said that this time would be beneficial in helping them act like a couple again. Easy for her to say. I'd seen the evil little pixie for all of five minutes all week. She was becoming an expert at jumping through third story windows. Then she flew to Minnesota to watch the game, not wanting to be away from Adrian a single night. I had my suspicions that she wouldn't be spending too many nights at the house once the Volturi arrived. If they're watching Bella, then she was free to do as she wished, as long as she got his scent off of her before she saw them.

I called Bella every day. Several times a day. Her cell phone was never turned on; it went straight to voicemail. I'd lost track of how many messages I'd left. Hopefully I would get to talk to her before she listened to them, get her to just delete them. Some of the later ones were less than loving. I thought about trying Edward's cell, but I really didn't want to have to talk to him.

With nothing better to occupy my time, I buried myself in the genealogy project for American History with Kelly. We'd managed to trace her back four generations so far. I was surprised to find out that her family came from the same area of Texas where I had grown up. She went home over the weekend to see if she could find any old photo albums or scrapbooks in the attic that might further help us in her search. I was interested to see if she turned up anything. But all of that was forgotten the moment I saw Edward and Bella walking towards me.

I saw them before they saw me. Edward had her backpack flung over his shoulder, and his free arm around her shoulders. If I were a human, I would have been sick. When Edward saw me, he dropped his arm and took a hold of her hand instead. Like that was supposed to be less offensive to me? I gritted my teeth as they approached me. Bella's face was full of silent apologies, but when I felt for her emotions, I couldn't find them. All I found was a calm similar to the wall Edward always had up. Edward taught her how to block me. Son of a bitch. I sent a strong wave of love Bella's way, a silent greeting. Her calm wavered, it wasn't near as strong as Edward's. One more wave and it came tumbling down. I almost wished it hadn't. Bella was bottling up so many emotions – love, guilt, lust, shame, hope, trepidation, the list went on and on.

"Jasper, can I talk to you for a second?" Bella asked, her voice shaking. She closed her eyes and steadied her breathing, replacing the calm barrier before opening them again. I saw Edward squeeze her hand reassuringly before walking away. Bella looked up at him and smiled. This could not be good.

It felt so weird to be walking next to Bella and not be touching her. Especially since she'd just been holding Edward's hand not a moment before. She smelled faintly like him and I hated it. I realized she was leading me to Mirror Lake. I guess it made sense. Less chance of being seen, but it still tugged at my heartstrings. Of course, she had no way of knowing. To her, it was just a nice place we visited on our last date.

"It's beautiful, even without the luminaries," Bella mused as we sat down on the bench.

"I wouldn't know, all I see is you," I told her, and it was the truth. She looked a little thinner, she probably hadn't eaten much all week, and her eyes looked pained, but she was still beautiful.

"Jasper, I need to talk to you, but before I do, I just need you to know that I love you, okay?"

"Okay, Bella. I love you, too. But you're scaring me, darlin'. What's going on?"

"Jasper, I need to be honest with you. This past week, actually, since we've started school, I've been growing more and more confused. Edward and I are trying to act like we're a couple, but it's just reignited so many feelings that I'd kept buried for so long. I don't know what is real and what is pretend anymore."

"Bella, am I losing you? Do you love him? Did you sleep with him?" Bella's eyes shot up at me and anger flashed in them for a second before it disappeared.

"No, I didn't sleep with him. I wish I could be angry at you for even thinking that, but I suppose I had it coming. But I do still love him, Jasper. I have to be with him to keep our family safe, but it would be a lie for me to say that it's all just an act. I can't be with you and have these feelings for him. It wouldn't be fair to you to let you assume that the moment this is over I'm going to leave him and come running back in your arms, when I'm not sure that's the case. The truth is, I love you both, so much, and I don't feel capable of giving either of you the devotion you deserve right now. So I'm going to pretend to be with Edward, but really I am going to be spending some time on my own, getting my head screwed on straight."

"But why, Bella? After everything he put you through? How can you still love him?" I felt it in my bones, she was slipping through my fingers like so much sand.

"Edward is learning from the mistakes he made in the past, and before you say anything, no, I'm not blind to the fact that the things he is learning, you never had to. You love me for who I am, flaws and all, just as I love you. For the most part you treat me like an equal, but never put me on a pedestal. It wasn't something you had to work at, it just came natural to you. If I look at it rationally, it makes all the sense in the world that I be with you forever. But on the other hand, I can't deny that I have a bond with Edward that seems to go beyond rational thought, and no matter how I try to bury it, it's still there." Bella looked down to the ground. Her defenses were down, and I could feel the shame and confusion and love, both for me and for Edward. I also felt her determination. She thought she was doing the right thing, and her mind was made up. She would not be swayed. There was no way to win this battle. I only hoped it wasn't a sign that I was losing the war.

I took Bella's hands into my own, and was struck with a flashback of the last time we were here. We were sitting in this exact position when my phone rang and shattered my world. I brushed it away. I would deal with it later. "Bella, I have always told you that I wanted to be in your life in whatever capacity you would have me. If you need time to straighten things out, then take it. Consider me just a very good friend for the time being. I don't want you to be with me and be thinking of someone else. On the other hand, I'm really hoping that every moment you are with Edward, you are thinking of me. I love you, Bella. Before all this began, I planned on asking you for your hand." Bella's eyes flashed in shock. She looked around the lake, then back at me in sad recognition. I needed to get this out before I couldn't do it, so I plowed ahead. "I'm still hoping that one day soon it will be my ring on your finger. But only if I have your whole heart. I'm not willing to share, and to tell you the truth, I've always felt like I was sharing you with Edward, even when he was miles away. For months after you and Edward broke up, you still said his name in your sleep. Mine, too, but not exclusively. Not for months. And when it finally seemed like he'd been purged from your subconscious, we moved here, and it started back up again. I love you with every cell in my body, Bella. I deserve nothing less from you in return. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes, I would agree. I haven't been fair to you, Jasper, and it's time I did something about it." Bella stood up then and I stood with her, hugging her to me for dear life. "I love you, Jasper Whitlock."

"I love you too. Don't take too long, alright? The last time you needed to think you were gone for ten weeks. Every moment will be an eternity without you." Bella didn't respond with words, she just kissed me, pouring all the love and affection and gratitude in her heart into that kiss. As I caressed her lip with my tongue and begged to deepen our kiss, I let down my defenses and let her feel everything. All my love, my lust, my hope, my fear, my heartbreak, my sorrow. Everything. She let me in and our kiss became intense, desperate with need. Bella grabbed my hair and pulled me to her while my hands ran up and down her back, pulling her closer still.

We heard someone clear their throat, and Edward was standing a few feet behind us. "I'm sorry for interrupting, but Kelly will be here any second now, and she can't see…that." Bella nodded at him and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before kissing me on the cheek and walking away. I watched as Edward put his arm around her and pulled her to him as they walked up the path. Bella leaned into him and sighed.

I heard him whisper to her, "It will be alright, you'll see. Everything will work out. I'm proud of you, Bella."

"Thank you, Edward," she whispered back. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Don't apologize, Bella. Yes, it was hard to watch. But no one deserves a bad goodbye," he kissed her temple and I cringed. No wonder she had made that rule about not being affectionate in front of Edward. No man should ever have to see the girl he loved in the arms of another man. Then they were gone. It wasn't until they disappeared from sight that I realized I forgot to talk to Bella about the cell phone messages. I was about to take off running after them when I saw Kelly come around the corner.

"Hey, Jasper! You're never going to guess what I found! I have three whole boxes of stuff for us to go through. I feel like I hit the jackpot! Do you want to come over after class and we can sift through it, find out if there's anything we can use in there?"

"Sure, Kelly. Why not? It's not like I have anywhere else to be."

"Great! You sure Alice won't mind?" Damn. I almost forgot that Edward and Bella weren't the only ones with roles to play in this Divine Comedy.

"No, I'm sure she won't mind. I'll double check with her after class, though, just to make sure."

After class, Kelly walked with me through the Oval to find Edward, Bella, and Alice sitting at a picnic table. Bella and Alice were having a heated discussion.

"Alice, you're bound and determined to do it your way, so why don't you just leave me out of it!" Bella yelled from her seat at the table. Edward was standing behind her, rubbing her shoulders and trying to calm her down.

Alice had her hands on her hips and was eyeing Bella with a deadly glare. "Won't you at least look at the magazines? I marked the pages with acceptable designers already, all you have to do is flip through the tabbed pages and let me know if you like one particular style over another. Is that too much to ask?" Wedding plans. I was going to kill Alice.

"What are you guys arguing about?" Kelly asked innocently as we approached.

"I am trying to explain to Bella that if she wants to have anything vaguely resembling a proper wedding dress, she needs to start looking now. We only have nine months!"

"And I'm trying to explain to my psychotic maid of honor that I don't really need a designer gown!" Edward squeezed her shoulders a little, a silent reminder to watch what she said. "I mean, I would be perfectly happy going to the nearest bridal store and picking something off the rack."

Alice gasped in horror. "Bella Swan, don't you EVER say that again. I will not have my future sister saying her vows dressed in a cheap knock-off!" Bella rolled her eyes at her before snatching the magazines out of her hand, shoving them in her backpack with a flourish.

"Fine, Alice. I'll look at them tonight. Happy now?"

"Yes. Now, we need to start scouting out locations and discussing the menu. When you're looking at the dresses, take a look at the wedding cakes. If you want a Cake by Collette creation, we need to order it within the next couple of weeks, and you really need to choose your colors before you can pick a cake…"

"Alice, that's enough," Edward said firmly. "You are overwhelming Bella. I know that Bella is giving you free reign to plan this, but please try and bear in mind her preferences."

"But Edward, how am I supposed to know what her preferences are if she won't help me?!"

I decided to speak up, interrupting Edward before he had a chance to reply. "Darlin', you know that Bella would prefer a small, simple affair. There is no reason to make this more of a production then it needs to be," hoping she would pick up on the double meaning of my words. Then in a voice too low for Kelly to hear I added "This is just for show, Alice. It's not a REAL wedding, remember?"

"I'll try and keep that in mind," Alice said acidly. I sent a burst of calm her way and she relaxed a little.

"Alice, did you have plans for us for dinner tonight? Kelly found some things at her parent's house that she thought might help us with her family tree for our History project and wanted to know if I could come over and help her go through it."

"Oh, no, Jazzy, that's fine. I was just going to order take-out tonight anyway. I'll see you when you get home." Alice smiled and flitted away, to meet Adrian back at his dorm, no doubt.

"We should get going too, love. We still have some make-up work to do from last week, and if we haven't flipped through at least one of those bridal magazines by tomorrow, Alice will have both our hides." Edward kissed the top of her head and held out his hand to help her up from her seat. She didn't look my way.

"Alright. Kelly, you and Edward are performing your composition for your professor on Wednesday, right?"

"Yes, we are. I hope he likes it, I've heard he is really tough." Kelly was very nervous about it.

"Would you mind if I came and listened? I'd love to hear you guys perform it from start to finish, and maybe we could all go to lunch after, since I was a no-show last week."

"That sounds fine. We're already performing in front of the whole class, what's one more person listening in."

"Great! Talk to you later. Bye, Jasper," Bella said as casually as she could.

"See you guys later," Edward said as he put his hand on the small of Bella's back and guided her away.

I had a few hours before I was supposed to meet Kelly so I headed for home. It was so quiet, you could almost hear the echoes of the girls' laughter, Adrian's dumb jokes, the pounding heartbeats that always welcomed me home. Adrian and Bella's scents were an echo, too, almost completely gone. I couldn't take the utter emptiness of it. I turned on the radio just for the background noise.

_Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.  
It's not warm when she's away.  
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone  
And she's always gone too long anytime she goes away. _

_Wonder this time where she's gone,  
Wonder if she's gone to stay  
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone  
And this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away._

_Hey, I ought to leave the young thing alone,  
But ain't no sunshine when she's gone, only darkness everyday.  
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone,  
And this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away._

Well, ain't that the fucking truth. I turned off the radio and decided to hunt.

**A/N: The NCBs are off to entertain our lovely ladies in Fayetteville, NC! Can't you just picture them dancing to the Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B?**


	27. Chapter 26: When I Think About You

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own my OCs, this storyline, and more than a few pictures of Cam Gigandet.**

**A/N: Thanks to the best beta in the world -- readingtime. changedbyEdward -- I had WAY TOO MUCH FUN sending you stalker voicemails. More than Romeo, bb. This is one is for all my forum girls asking me for a Happy Edward chapter, and is lovingly dedicated to DefinitelyStaying, who gave me the idea. Let's see if you can guess the theme song. **

**HOLY COW! 4,000 REVIEWS???? I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! THANK YOU!!! KEEP 'EM COMING! **

**Story recommendation this week is Golden Moon by NusiainForks. It's a 'Edward left in NM and Jasper stayed behind' story. I know, we've all read that plot summary a hundred times. But that's where the similarity between this one and all the rest end. This is a love affair of the mind. She is on Chapter 26 and Jasper and Bella have not so much as kissed yet, but I have never once felt as though the story was dragging. It is sensual and romantic and a highly enjoyable read. It is on my favorites list. **

**Edward's POV**

Monday. Bella was running late getting ready. I wondered if perhaps she wasn't ready to return to reality, either. I knew I wasn't.

"Edward, have you seen my cell phone?" Bella called from the bedroom.

"No, I haven't. But Bella, even with me driving we're going to be late for class if we don't leave now. I'll help you look when we get home."

Bella huffed, irritated. "Alright."

We got in the car and headed for school. Bella looked more nervous then I'd ever seen her. "Bella, do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm going to hurt him. I hurt everyone who wastes their time caring about me." Bella was self-loathing on a level that could match my own.

"Bella, you are doing the right thing. Yes, it's going to be hard. Yes, it's going to hurt him. Believe me, I know. But sometimes doing the right thing can be the hardest choice to make, and sometimes it means hurting the ones you care about most."

Bella was biting her nails and not paying much attention all through Biology. I finally reached out and offered her my hand, and she took it without looking at me. I rubbed my thumb over her knuckles and she squeezed my hand. An hour from now, Bella would no longer be Jasper's. She will be on her own. I wanted to be thrilled at this development, but found I could take no joy in something that caused Bella such sorrow and guilt.

After Biology, Bella almost collapsed when she got up. She was shaking like a leaf. I reminded her to use what I had taught her to keep herself calm, both for her sake and for Jasper's. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and picked up her bag for her as we headed out of the building. _If I were human, I think I'd be sick._ I didn't want to make him any more uncomfortable than he was already. Especially in light of what was in store for him in the next few minutes. I removed my arm slowly from Bella's shoulders, making sure she was relatively steady, and took her hand in mine instead. _Is that supposed to be less offensive to me?_ I was so grateful to Bella for protecting me from having to see her be affectionate with Jasper. It saddened me that I was not able to offer him the same respect in return.

_Edward taught her how to block me. Son of a bitch._ The next thing I knew, Bella stiffened, and then her hand started shaking. He must have done something to break through her defenses. Why would he do that? I squeezed her hand to let her know I was there for her, and to be strong. Bella looked up at me with gratitude, and I smiled a soft smile in return before letting go of her hand.

I watched as they walked towards Mirror Lake. They were out of sight, but not out of hearing range. At least, not out of range for a mind-reading vampire. I heard Jasper's thoughts when he smelled me on her clothes. I had to restrain myself when his very first words to her were to ask her if she'd slept with me. It bothered me that she felt she deserved that remark. Yes, I felt she cheated on me, but I blamed him for that as much if not more than her. And she didn't have sex with him until after we broke up. Did he really think so little of her? I rejoiced at Bella's frank honesty, especially when discussing her love for me and admitting that it wasn't all just an act. I was so proud of her for being so determined to sort her feelings out on her own.

I got angry when Jasper made the remark about 'everything he put you through.' First of all, in all fairness, Bella and I had probably put each other through equal amounts of torment, but that was our concern, not his. Secondly, he had put Bella through his own share of pain. Did he completely forget the night he used his powers against her, for instance? How about the day I had to ride on the back of her bike for hours just to make sure she didn't crash because he had her so upset? People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

I was as shocked as Bella when I heard that he was going to propose to her. Then when all their words were spoken, he kissed her. He thought about how much love and affection she felt for him, and he used his powers to let her feel all his love and desire in return. She kissed him with every ounce of passion with which she had kissed me. I felt betrayed for a moment, and then I remembered the night that I let her go. She went to the meadow with me, she let me spend the night in her room. I kissed her and sang her to sleep and held her the whole night long. Jasper probably endured 10 hours of absolute misery that night, knowing she was in my arms. I could endure 10 minutes.

_I've got a few minutes before History, I think I'll meander by the lake on my way, see if the ducks are out._ Kelly. I ran down the path. I cleared my throat and looked down at the ground. "I'm sorry for interrupting, but Kelly will be here any minute, and she can't see…that." Bella walked up to me, her eyes bright with emotion, but she didn't cry. Not one tear.

I put my arm around her and we headed to our next class together. "It will be alright. You'll see. Everything will work out." I was saying it as much for her as for me. "I'm proud of you, Bella."

"Thank you Edward. I'm sorry you had to see that." My Bella. Always thinking of everyone else. I told her not to worry and kissed her temple. My whole body relaxed the moment she leaned into me.

After our next class, we met Alice in The Oval. "How's Adrian?" Bella asked.

"He's hanging in there. He misses you, too. I should be grateful. At least we still get to see each other every evening. I feel like a stalker, though, hiding in the shadows until after curfew so I can jump in his bedroom window. I don't know how you did it, Edward, it's creepy."

Alice grabbed a handful of bridal magazines and a large three ring binder labeled "Edward and Bella's Wedding." Bella's eyes got wide and she looked at me with such a look of fear. I stood up behind her and started rubbing her neck and shoulders to calm her down. _Looks like you two have made some progress, Edward. _I ignored her.

"Alice, is there something you want to tell us?" I asked.

"No, I haven't had a vision of the wedding, if that's what you mean. But that could be because it isn't going to happen, or it could be because Adrian is there. Either way, we're supposed to be _planning_ for a wedding, aren't we? It's got to be convincing. The Cullens don't do anything small. Besides, it will give me something to do once they get here and it gets harder to sneak away. Keep my mind off things."

"Fine, Alice, but you plan it. All of it. You have free reign. Not that it matters, since this isn't a real wedding, but your idea of the perfect wedding and my idea of the perfect wedding are two totally different things, and I don't feel like arguing with you about it." Bella was adamant.

"Alright. So first we need to decide on a designer. Personally, I think Vera Wang is SOOO yesterday, but I suppose a few of them would be passable. Look through these, all the tabs are color coded by designer. We might need to take a trip to Paris…"

"No, Alice. I'm not going on any overseas shopping trips with you, and I'm not going through these magazines." Bella was putting her foot down, but I could feel the tension increasing in her muscles. I kissed the top of her head and went back to massaging her shoulders. I smiled when she hummed in appreciation.

"But Bella," Alice whined in a sing-song voice. It was always her ace in the hole with Bella; put on the puppy dog eyes and lay the guilt on thick. Bella always caved.

Not this time. "Alice, you are bound and determined to do it your way, so why don't you just leave me out of it!" Bella yelled. Her neck muscles turned to stone they were so tight. I felt like I was trying to massage the stress out of a vampire.

_We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way,_ Alice thought. They continued arguing back and forth even after Jasper and Kelly approached. Alice was being downright irritating about it. Jasper couldn't take anymore conversation about mine and Bella's wedding, real or not, and in no uncertain terms let Alice know to back off. Bella flinched a little when Jasper called Alice 'darlin',' but recovered quickly. She didn't recover quite so quickly, however, when Jasper announced that he was going to Kelly's. Even Alice was a little surprised. _Wow, two hours after Bella breaks up with him and he's already got a date? Well, at least I don't have to deal with his moping tonight. I'm off to do some more stalking – have a good night, Edward. Don't forget to look through those magazines with Bella tonight – she promised!_

"We should get going too, love. We still have some make-up work to do from last week, and if we haven't flipped through at least one of those bridal magazines by tomorrow, Alice will have both our hides." I kissed the top of her head to let her know I understood and helped her up.

Bella stood up and turned to Kelly. "Alright. Kelly, you and Edward are performing your composition for your professor on Wednesday, right?"

"Yes, we are. I hope he likes it, I've heard he is really tough." _This professor could make or break my career with one stroke of his pen_. She had nothing to be nervous about. It was a beautiful composition and her professor would be a fool not to pass her with flying colors.

"Would you mind if I came and listened? I'd love to hear you guys perform it from start to finish, and maybe we could all go to lunch after, since I was a no-show last week." Now it was my turn to be nervous. I had put a lot of my feelings for Bella into that melody, my love for her, my sadness at our separation, my hope that there was a second chance for us. She had heard bits and pieces over the weekend, but I worried that if she heard the entire song, she would know what I was thinking and it would be too much for her. I was hoping Kelly would say no.

"That sounds fine. We're already performing in front of the whole class, what's one more person listening in." _I think I was wrong about her. The more I'm around her, the more I like her._ I was glad that Kelly was really warming up to Bella, and vice versa. Kelly had managed to become a good friend to me, and it was nice not having to worry about losing my friendship with her because of my pseudo-hopefully-one-day-real relationship with Bella.

We said our goodbyes and headed for home. We stopped by Alice and Jasper's so Bella could get her motorcycle from the garage then she followed me home and parked it in our garage next to the Volvo. I looked at it, fondly remembering our time riding together. I considered asking her to go for a ride with me, but remembered that I had promised her this week would be on her terms. Besides, I wasn't certain if our one ride together kept the bike from being a 'Jasper thing' and I didn't want to upset her.

Bella started looking around for her cell phone while I got some water boiling for pasta. She finally found it under the couch. How it got there was anybody's guess. Bella turned it on and it vibrated that she had a text message. Then it vibrated again. And again. And again. And Again. Bella looked up at me wide eyed and went back to watching her phone load message after message. Then it dinged indicating that she had voicemails. "Twenty seven voicemails?!" She decided to listen to the voicemails first.

"Message 1 received Monday 9:34am: _Bella, it's me sweetheart. Alice said you have a cold. I wish I could be there to take care of you. Do you need me to bring you anything? I'm just looking for an excuse, you know. Talk to you later. Love you, darlin'_."

"Message 3 received Monday 12:16pm: _Bella, it's me. I'm starting to get worried now. Call me back. I love you_."

"Message 7 received Tuesday 6:26am: _Please stop ignoring me, Bella. I don't know what's going on over there, but whatever it is, is it worth it to fuck up what we have_?"

I had a really bad feeling that Bella would be better off not listening to any more messages. "Bella…" she cut me off with a finger in the air and a sharp shake of her head. I acquiesced. It was her choice, her decision. I would just have to wait and hope it didn't get much worse.

"Message 10 received Tuesday 8:57pm: _Hey Bella, it's me. Again. When you're done playing checkers with the virgin, give me a call._

"Message 12 received Tuesday 11:43 pm: _What's happening to us, Bella? You used to not be able to go 4 hours without talking to me, now you've gone four days and haven't even bothered turning on your phone. I know that I've messed up, that things haven't been great between us lately, but God, I feel like I'm dying all over again. Please call me. Please…"_

"Message 16 received Wednesday 5:14am:_ Is Edward holding you against your will? It's the only explanation that makes sense. If he is, I'll tear that son of a bitch apart! I'm going to call Alice and then I'm coming to rescue you. Hang on, honey!"_

"Message 17 received Wednesday 5:33am: _Alice said not to go there. That you're fine and that you and Edward need this time to help you act like a couple again. What is going on over there that Alice doesn't want me to know about? Would I see something I didn't like? Hear something? FEEL something? Bella, you've got to call me back. Every time I close my eyes, I see these horrible images of Edward balls-deep inside of you, and it's driving me insane. He can't make you feel like I can, Bella._

By this point, my hands were in fists and my knuckles were white. I kept repeating to myself over and over 'Don't rip the phone out of her hand, don't smash it to pieces, don't run over there and turn him into a pile of ash. Don't rip the phone out of her hand, don't smash it to pieces…'

"Message 26 received Saturday 1:21am: _Is this Edward's way of paying me back for the one night we shared when you were with him, Bella? You know what… Fuck you both!"_

"Message 27 received Saturday 1:23am: _Bella, darlin', I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that. I didn't mean any of it. I love you so much. Please forgive me, please don't leave me. I won't call you any more this weekend. I can't wait to see you on Monday. Maybe we can sneak away, just for a little while."_

"End of messages."

Bella, showing an eerie and rather disturbing lack of emotion, turned off the phone and set it down on the coffee table, then headed for the bedroom without a word. Half way down the hall, Bella turned around and paused. "Edward? Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything, love."

"Can you delete the text messages for me? I don't want to read them."

"Of course, Bella. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault." She closed the bedroom door behind her and didn't come out the rest of the night.

I turned her phone back on and read the first message.

_Bella, please call me. Please don't do this to me. To us._

I didn't bother to read the rest. I deleted them, 32 in all, and turned her phone back off.

Tuesday morning, Bella still looked rather bereft, but luckily it was our short day, so she only had to shuffle her way through two classes before we could return home and Bella could return to the sanctuary of our bedroom. We didn't see Jasper or Alice, which was for the best. There was no way I could handle being around Jasper at the moment without killing him, and I'm pretty sure Bella would send the wolves after Alice if she even uttered the word 'wedding' to her. Bella didn't talk much, and I didn't push.

Wednesday passed in much the same fashion, and soon we were heading for the music building to meet Kelly. Bella hugged us both and wished us luck before taking an empty seat in the back of the room. There were maybe 30 students there, plus the professor, a heavy set man with thinning gray hair and a scowl on his face.

Kelly mentally psyched herself up as she got out her cello and took her place. With a nod from the professor, Kelly announced the name of the piece, Non dubitare, Non Dimenticare Mai, counted out the rhythm and we started to play. I could hear Bella's heart rate speed up the further along the song went. I glanced over at her as we reached the crescendo and Bella smiled at me. I could tell she understood the meaning behind every note. When the song was over, we received a standing ovation. Bella was clapping and cheering louder than anybody. After the professor congratulated Kelly and handed her the evaluation sheet, Bella ran down and hugged Kelly, and then she took my face in her hands and just stared into my eyes. I put my hands on her hips, nodded my head infinitesimally and let my smile speak for me, as the music had moments before. We would have stayed that way until nightfall if Kelly hadn't interrupted.

"I got an A! I got an A! Can you believe it?! He NEVER gives A's!" Kelly was jumping up and down. "Thank you so much, Edward! I couldn't have done it without you."

"You're very welcome. That's what friends are for." I turned back to Bella as Kelly was surrounded by classmates wanting to wish her their congratulations. "Let's go somewhere tonight, Bella. I feel like celebrating." Bella nodded her head, and I kissed her tenderly, putting my arm around her waist as we walked out the door. I didn't let her go until we got to the car.

"So where are we going?" Bella asked, sounded more cheerful than she had in days.

"How about Dave and Buster's," I suggested. "I thought it might be fun to just hang out and play some games for a couple of hours. What do you say?"

"Sounds great!" We drove in companionable silence. Bella ordered a philly cheesesteak sandwich and a cola. When she was done eating, I purchased us a refillable card to play the games. Bella practically ran squealing to the boxing machine. I laughed as I watched her put the massive gloves on and started ducking and punching with all her might. She had such an angry, determined look on her face, and was biting her lip hard. She managed to knock out six opponents before one finally got her. When she was done, she was completely out of breath and laughing hysterically.

We played Deal or No Deal a couple of times, but it was kind of cheating since I was able to keep up with the rapidly shuffling suitcases to know which one had the million dollars in it. Then we played Pac-Man, Centipede and Donkey Kong for a while. Finally, we made it over to play skee-ball, but Bella kept throwing the ball into the neighboring lane, so we decided it was time to go.

Bella and I held hands in the car. Once again, we didn't talk much, just laughed about how much fun it was. When we pulled into the driveway, I started to get out so I could open Bella's door for her, but she reached out and stopped me.

"Edward? Thank you for today. For the song, which I loved so much, and for this evening. It was just what I needed just when I needed it most." I took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

"You're welcome, my Bella." I ran around the car and helped her out and closed her door. She looked at me, deep in thought, and then stood on her tiptoes and hovered her lips near mine, close but not quite touching. I waited, sharing breaths with her while she decided what to do. We were not in public, there was no one else around. This was not for show. If she chose to kiss me, it would be because she wanted to. It would be real, and it would mean…everything. So I stood. Frozen. Hopeful. Praying for her to move those few scant centimeters my way. And then she did. She just touched our lips together, not moving, just feeling. I wrapped my arms around her waist and she wrapped her arms around my neck and our lips took on a mind of their own, slowly caressing each other. With every movement of our lips, we healed each other's wounds and forgave our past transgressions. With every touch, we got a little closer to being happy. A little closer to being…us.

When Bella needed to break the kiss to take a breath, I leaned my forehead down to hers. "Wow," she whispered.

"Wow is right," I whispered back.

"We should probably go inside," she said, her voice still barely above a murmur. I paused, wanting so much more to happen once we walked through those doors, but afraid to make assumptions. Bella had to make the call. As if sensing my internal struggle, Bella put her hand to my cheek.

"Edward, today has been wonderful. But I'm not ready yet. It's too soon, and I still have a lot of work to do on me. I need more time."

"I understand, love. You go ahead inside, I'm going to go on a quick hunt. Don't wait up, I'll be back before morning. I'll have my cell on if you need me, alright?"

"Alright," Bella said and went inside. I waited until I heard the deadbolt latch before I ran for the woods. While I hunted, I thought about how much had changed in so little time. I thought about how much I loved Bella, how astounded I was to learn that Bella loves me too. I thought about how hopeful I was for the future, and how intoxicating our newfound intimacy was. I could kiss Bella now, REALLY kiss her. Tasting the inside of her mouth, feeling her tongue against mine, was a pleasure I dreamt of for so long, but never thought possible. Sure, it was scary at first, but I did it. And it was easier the second time. I could only hope to have the opportunity to practice and perfect that skill. Then there was Bella's dream. Regardless of the fact that Bella was asleep, it was a profound experience for me. I didn't lose control, I didn't hurt her. It proved to me that, if Bella took me back, perhaps we could be together in that way. In every way. And the way she made me feel. I was getting hard again just remembering it. I took a couple deep, cleansing breaths in a futile attempt to ward off the uncomfortable tightness in my slacks and headed for home.

When I approached the backyard, I heard an odd buzzing noise, paired with a quieter, wet swishing sound. I heard Bella's heartbeat, hard and frantically fast. I rushed towards the house and I heard Bella. She stopped me in my tracks.

"Ugh…" Bella moaned, and the swishing sound sped up, as did her heart. "Edward…right there…that's it, baby." Bella was pleasuring herself with the toy that Emmett sent her. She was pleasuring herself…and thinking of me. I slid my back down the wall and sat down in the cool grass, listening to the sweet sounds coming from inside. "Jesus!" she screamed when she orgasmed. I listened as she turned off the vibrator. Her heartbeat and breathing slowly returned to normal. I waited, rock hard, until she fell asleep, then I went inside, pausing for only a moment to gaze on her lovely, peaceful face before sneaking into the bathroom for a much needed cold shower.

The shower did nothing to resolve my painful erection, so after cleaning up and soaking for a while, I gave up and decided to try and do something about it. I had no idea how, really, but I closed my eyes and thought about how Bella had grabbed me in her sleep. I tentatively wrapped my fingers around my length and started stroking myself slowly. I fantasized about making love to Bella, about kissing her deeply, about taking her breasts in my palms, about kissing her stomach. I grabbed myself harder, stroked faster as I thought about sliding into her, hearing her whisper words of love and desire to me as we moved together as one. I leaned my head against the shower door and sped up my ministrations, rubbing my thumb across the tip as my hips began moving of their own accord. I thought about Bella screaming my name as she orgasmed. "Oh…Bella!" I came hard, spraying the glass door in front of me as I did. As my wits returned to me, I cleaned myself off and wiped down the shower. It wasn't until I was drying myself off that I realized…Bella wasn't sleeping. She was walking around the bedroom, pacing, and of course I hadn't thought to bring clothes in with me. I wrapped the towel around my waist and steeled myself before opening the door. I flung open the door to find Bella on the other side, arm raised as though she were about to knock. Bella was flustered and breathing heavily. She eyed me up and down and I realized she had never seen me so close to naked. She looked back up at me and realized she was caught. She blushed and turned her head away.

"Bella, I"

"Edward, I" We both started at the same time, and laughed from the awkwardness of the moment.

"How about you get dressed and maybe we can cuddle tonight and not talk about this right now," she suggested, and I gratefully agreed. Five minutes later, and Bella was spooned against my chest, sleeping peacefully, and I was more relaxed then I had ever been in my entire life.

**A/N: The Cullendale show is moving to Arlington, Virginia so that the NCBs can give a very special lady a _very_ special birthday! Speaking of NCBs, expect a new chapter out soon. Link to Piano/Cello Duet on my profile.**


	28. Chapter 27: The Tale of Two Weddings

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own my OCs, this storyline, and many, many pairs of shoes.**

**A/N: As always, thanks to readingtime, the most fabulous beta in the world. So in light of my little prank yesterday, I worked extra hard to get this out to you today. Show me some love and let me know you forgive me.**

**Reading selection for the week is These Dreams by jbluvs2sing. This is a COMPLETE story. Edward leaves and doesn't come back. Bella is in college, but is still struggling with nightmares and abandonment issues. She runs into Jasper there, who is taking some time to sort through issues of his own. It's a great story, and it's not going to end the way you think it will, which is part of what makes it so great. It's on my favorites list.**

**Adrian's POV**

This sucked. I mean, royally sucked. And it wasn't just the fact that I couldn't see Ally nearly as much as I wanted to, needed to. And it wasn't just because I haven't got to see Tinker Bells – at all. Hell, I even missed Jasper and Edward! But when you took all of that and added to it suddenly being under the thumb of my head coach and offensive coordinator in this freakin' broom closet that they call a dorm room, it was downright torture. If this Volturi bullshit didn't get sorted out, and quick, I might even be tempted to have Ally change me. Now. Screw the Heisman. It's not like I planned on going to the NFL anymore, not since Ally. I'm already older than her physically, I don't want to go too much longer before the change. And I'm in top physical condition right now, if I do say so myself. The idea of staying this way forever kind of suits me, even if it does mean having to drink deer blood for the rest of my life.

Of course, right now I would prefer shoving toothpicks under my nails to this shit. Curfews. Eating plans. Study sessions. What the hell does any of this have to do with football?! It's not like getting an extra hour of sleep on Wednesday was going to help me throw any better on Saturday. If anything, I was more worried about the game on Saturday now then I ever was at home. Home. Where there was Ally and Bells and sex and Scrabble and all the damn Phish Food I could eat. Not that Ally and I weren't having sex, mind you, but this dorm thing with the thin walls and the resident advisor doing walk-arounds and spot checks was seriously putting a crimp on my mojo. It's not like if we broke the bed here, we could just go buy another one. Damn, I had way too much time to think here.

Just when I thought I was about to go out of my mind, my angel hopped through the window. As I did every night, I ran to her and hugged her tight and just breathed her in. God this sucked. I crave this woman like a drug and I'm going through some serious withdrawals.

"Ally-Angel, I love you so much, you know that, right?" I whispered as I placed dozens of kisses all over her face.

"I do! Almost as much as I love you!" She captured my lips with hers and I cherished the taste of her, the cool feel of her as she kissed me.

"I don't know how much more I can take of this, Ally," I whined as we sat down on the twin size bed with the generic lumpy mattress that I loathed more and more with each passing day.

"I've got an idea I thought might cheer you up. I know I said you had to avoid us on campus, but maybe Edward and Bella could sneak in here, too! Obviously, since you're here, I can't tell if it'll work or not, but it's worth a shot!" Ally could tell just by the way my face lit up that it was just what I needed. I'd even be willing to give up sex to get to see Bells. Well, for one night, anyway.

Ally must have called Edward, because she was doing that irritating thing they do where they talk too fast for anyone else to understand a damn word they were saying, and in a flash she was hanging up.

"Edward thinks it's a great idea! He's going to run it by Bella and if she doesn't mind a piggy back ride up three stories, they'll be here in about half an hour."

"So…think we have time for a quickie?" I raised my eyebrows suggestively.

"Baby, with my speed, we have time for two," Ally said before she attacked me.

"Oh, Ally, I like how you think!" I mumbled between kisses and frantic loss of clothing. "Just try not to give me any more friction burns, okay? Four days of putting Neosporin on my junk is not something I care to repeat anytime soon." Ally just laughed as she slithered down my body.

True to their word, 35 minutes and two mind blowing orgasms later (Why did I never let her go down on me before? Was I nuts?!), Edward hopped through my window with Bella hanging tightly on his back just as I was throwing my sweatshirt back on.

"Bells Baby! Get over here!" Bella jumped into my arms and I hugged her tight, kissing her cheek before I sat her back down. "I have missed you so much!" Edward chuckled behind her and I stuck my hand out to shake his. "You too, man. Thanks for bringing Bells over."

"No problem, I was glad to do it. Bella's missed you a lot," Edward said as he rubbed his hand up and down Bella's back. I sneaked her my classic "what the fuck?" look when Edward turned to greet Ally and Bella just shrugged her shoulders at me.

"I texted you a couple of times last week to see how you were feeling after Alice said you caught a cold, but you didn't text me back," I scolded her teasingly.

"Oh, some of those were from you?" Bella said, surprised and sad all at the same time. "I lost my phone, and then when I found it, I just, well, decided to delete them all. I'm sorry. Next time you text me I promise I'll reply." Edward kissed the top of her head and continued rubbing her back. I looked to Alice. I could tell she knew what was going on, but she wasn't spilling the beans.

Edward spoke up. "Bella love, why don't Alice and I take a little stroll so you two can catch up a bit, alright?" Bella nodded her head and Ally gave me a kiss on the cheek before they both disappeared through the window.

"Alright, Tinker Bells, what's going on?"

"Jasper and I broke up," Bella said as she and I sat cross-legged on the bed and leaned up against the wall.

"Yeah, I know, for the Volturi." I hate that word. Miserable, meddling vampires.

"No, Adrian, I mean, we broke up for real." _Oh._

"What?! Why?" I immediately started wondering if he'd roofie'd her again. I wasn't kidding about the torchthrower.

"Because I'm screwed up in the head right now, that's why. It seems like all Jasper and I do is fight any more, and he's always so jealous about Edward, which I used to think was totally ridiculous but now I'm not so sure, and then he left me all those nasty voicemails, and…"

"Wait, back up. First off, what do you mean, now you're not so sure?"

"I love Jasper so much, I do. But spending all this time with Edward has just made me realize that I never stopped loving him. And he still loves me, too. Things are different between us now and I can't help but think that this time we really could make it work. You probably think that's terrible of me, right?" Bella was playing with the hem of her shirt, not looking at me.

"Remember, Bells, I'm your friend first and foremost, and I'm not here to judge you. I know that Jasper has screwed up a lot lately, but he is a good guy and he really does love you. On the other hand, Edward loves you, too, so much that he shocks me sometimes. I mean, he studies that guide like it's the freaking Bible, for goodness sakes."

"Guide?" Bella inquired.

"Your diary. I told him you should have named it 'Edward's Guide to Not Being a Complete Tool.' He's even calling it the guide lately." Bella laughed and shook her head at me. "The point is, he's taking that shit seriously, you know? He's redeemed himself in more ways than one. You know, you should consider yourself lucky. Most girls would die to have one rich, gorgeous, really good guy in love with her. You've got two to choose from."

"So why don't I feel lucky? Why do I feel like a total shit who keeps hurting two of the three guys I care about most in this world?" I reminded myself that Bells is my best friend. And you don't lie to your best friend, even if you want to.

"Because you _do_ keep hurting them, Bella. Bear in mind that they let you, of their own free will, and neither of them are innocent of inflicting damage on you, too. But you've got to admit that even though you left Edward for Jasper, you never REALLY left him. You strung him along, keeping him as close to you as you felt you could get away with, safe in the knowledge that there'd never be another girl for him but you. Then at the first sign of another girl showing some interest in him, your little green monster took over. And you can pull that 'it's only because he was my first love' crap on Jasper, but it ain't gonna fly with me, Bells." I said all this in the softest tone possible, hoping Bella would take the words for what they were – words of advice from someone who loves her enough not to sugarcoat it when she screws up.

"So much for not judging me," she grumbled.

I gave her the classic 'don't make me scold you' look and she smirked. "I'm _not_, Bella. I'm just saying that the first time around, you didn't really have to make a choice. You got to have your cake and eat it too. Jasper gave you all the things Edward wouldn't or couldn't, and you took them gladly, but you never really let him fill the parts Edward already filled for you. You gave Jasper no choice but to share you with Edward, and you gave Edward no choice but to settle for whatever scraps you gave him. It's completely understandable, but it's not fair to them, or to you for that matter. The time has come to finally make a choice, and stick with it. Choose to be with one or the other, and give them your whole heart, or choose to set them both free if you have to, but choose."

"But how? It's almost like asking me whether I want to keep my right arm or my left." Bella pulled her hair in frustration. I hung my head over the side of the bed and grabbed the notebook I'd discarded there earlier. Sitting back up, I turned to the first blank page and drew a big line down the middle of it.

"The same way we chose 'Bama versus Buckeyes. We make a list." Bella looked skeptical but I kept going. "Okay, Team Jasper. Pros…he isn't afraid to touch you, that's kind of a big one." I started to write it down but Bella stopped me.

"Actually…I'm not so sure that would be such an issue with Edward anymore." Bella blushed and put her hair in her face.

"What'dya mean?" _This ought to be good._

"Well, last week I kind of had an erotic dream that he mistook for a nightmare and instead of him making me feel better, I kinda… made him feel better."

"In your sleep?!" I asked, incredulous.

"Umm….yeah." Bella was beet red. I burst out laughing, shaking my head.

"Only you, Bells!"

"There's more…last night Edward went out to hunt, so I decided to take care of a little business, you know? I needed the stress relief. But I think he might have heard me, because shortly after I fell asleep, I woke up to hear him in the shower, taking care of a little business of his own."

"No shit! Mr. Prude was jacking off in the shower?"

Bella nodded, giggling under her breath. "And moaning my name!" Sometimes she forgets I'm not a girl the way she spills this shit to me. That's alright, though, 'cause I tell her stuff I wouldn't tell anybody else, either. Mine and Bella's conversations are like a vault. Locked tight.

"Well, damn! Didn't think he had it in him. Okay, so we can't put that on the Team Jasper list. I was going to suggest the motorcycle, but Edward already loosened up on that front, too. Hmmm… he's your boyfriend, you think of something."

"Ex-boyfriend. Right now he's lucky I haven't dubbed him 'The Crazy Ex-Boyfriend.' When I was sick last week I lost my phone, and it was turned off so it wasn't even like I could call it to hear where it was ringing from. When I finally felt up to looking for it, he had left me 27 voicemails, each one worse than the last. There were a ton of text messages, too, but I just asked Edward to delete the whole folder for me, I couldn't read them. That's why I didn't get your messages."

"Shit, Bella, he was probably going crazy out of his head with worry. I would have been freaking out too if my omniscient pixie fiancée hadn't told me you were fine. Have you talked to him about it?"

"No, not yet…Hold your horses, did you just say 'fiancée'?" Bella's eyes flashed to mine, full of excitement.

"Well, kinda, I mean, I haven't bought the ring yet and she wants a real proposal with a real ring, but I asked her and she said yes, so that's solid in my book."

Bella squealed and I squealed back, 'cause I can act like a girl around Bella. Locked tight. "Holy Crow! Congratulations!!!" She jumped over to hug me and I hugged her back.

"Thanks, Bells! Now I just need to think of a great way to propose again."

"Yeah, and with Alice, it's got to be a grand gesture. We should ask Edward, he's really better at this stuff than I am. I mean, look at that England trip he planned for me…That's it!" Bella actually started clapping her hands together. She'd been hanging around Alice too long.

"What is it?"

"England! Alice is every bit as much a Brontë fan as I am. Why don't you take her there at Christmas? It's perfect! I already have two tickets…"

"Bella, you're a genius! But I'm not taking your tickets." The gears in my head started turning, clicking into place.

"I wouldn't miss this trip for the world, especially if you're going to propose there. I wasn't going to give you both of them, just one. Then you only need to buy one ticket."

"No, Bells, I'll pay for both our tickets. You bring someone with yours. I'm not going to just propose there, I'm going to get married there! She'll never see it coming. Will you help me?"

"Sure! But Adrian, like I already told Alice, her idea of a perfect wedding and mine are not necessarily the same." Bella had a point, there. Still, I had to believe that Alice would be thrilled anyway. As long as the dress and the ring were good, the rest wouldn't matter so much. Besides, I wanted Bella to help. Alice said planning the fake wedding was helping to keep her from losing her mind right now. Maybe planning my wedding could do the same for Bella. Alice would understand.

"Don't worry about it, Wedding Bells, I'll take care of all of the fashion stuff, you just get Edward to help you duplicate the arrangements he already made. Then we just need to find a romantic setting and a minister. If she wants a big wedding later, she can use your fake wedding in June! I wouldn't mind marrying her twice. What do you think?"

"I think it's perfect! It is SO romantic! Since we can't see each other, we'll have to coordinate digitally – email, texts, et cetera, but we'll make it work somehow." I could see the wheels turning in Bella's head now, too. Her eyes lit up and sparkled as she thought about what to do.

I didn't want to bring it up, but I had to ask. "So who are you bringing with you? I need to know who my best man is going to be."

"I have no idea. Honestly, I was going to invite Alice, but that's kind of out the window now," Bella looked a little less exuberant then she was a moment before.

"You've got a few months to get your shit sorted out, Bells. Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it just takes a while to see it." I put my arm around her shoulders and rubbed the top of her head with my knuckles. Bella swatted me off of her and chuckled.

"You're right."

"As for Jasper and the voicemails from hell, you'll see him at the game on Saturday, talk to him then."

"Yeah, about that. I'm thinking I'm skipping the game. I'll watch you on TV; I get to see you better that way anyway," Bella tried the classic 'bite my lip and look cute' approach, which I was not falling for.

"No way, chicken shit. You won't be able to avoid him once the Italian pains-in-the-asses get here. You might as well face him now and get it over with. Miss my game! What the hell is wrong with you, woman! Pssh." This woman has seriously gone insane.

"Okay, okay, already! Forget I suggested it. Geesh." Bella leaned her head on my shoulder and I laid mine on top of hers.

"How did everything get so messed up, Adrian?" Bella asked with a yawn.

"That's life, Bells Baby. You take the good with the bad. Show no pain. Show no fear. Keep moving forward. What else can you do?" She hummed something unintelligible as she started to doze off.

Alice tapped on the glass. I slammed the notebook closed and tossed it back under the bed as she and Edward climbed through the window.

"You guys have a nice visit?" she asked sweetly, flopping gracefully down on the floor across from us. Edward chose to lean up against the wall, arms and ankles crossed, James Dean style. Maybe it's just because I know what he's been up to, but he suddenly seems like he's got...swagger.

"Yes, we did, but I think it's time you take Sleepy Bells here home. She's conking out." I slapped her knee a couple of times and Bella pushed my hand away, muttering something remotely sounding like 'leave me alone,' but I couldn't be certain.

Edward scooped her up in his arms and Alice held the window open for him as he jumped out before turning back to me. "Now, where did we leave off?" Good thing I'm stocked up on Neosporin.

**A/N: Next chapter...enter the Volturi. The Cullendales Spectacular is making a few stops in Canada, starting with Toronto. They're taking over Casa Loma. Each room has a different Naked Cullen Boy for your viewing pleasure...all you have to do to get your ticket is review!**


	29. Chapter 28: Decima

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do own my OCs, this storyline, and a "Mom" Disney World coffee mug that I use EVERY DAY.**

**A/N: Thanks to be most beta-tastic girl in the world, readingtime. I heard The Oak Room got new waiters. We must investigate. There are two theme songs, one for each of my guys. Edward's theme song this chapter is Crash Into Me by the Dave Matthews Band. Jasper's theme song is Come Back To Me by David Cook. (Did anybody think of Jasper when Kris Allen sang Ain't No Sunshine on American Idol last week? Just curious...) **

**Reading selection for this is Place Your Bets by KatieBelleCullen and vanillabeans. All human. Edward is a player who makes a bet with Emmett that he can stay abstinent for 40 days. Bella, quite the little minx in this story, is the new kid in town and has set her sights on Edward. Hilarity, romance, and smut abound! My only complaint with this story is that it has been a month since they updated. When you read and fall in love with it, too, tell them Miss Lillie says to quit being so willy-nilly about the updates!**

**Edward's POV**

_Maybe it's just because I know what he's been up to, but he suddenly seems like he's got...swagger._ I chuckled to myself on our way home over that one. I couldn't help but wonder what exactly he heard from Bella or Alice to make him think that. I wouldn't ask her, though. Adrian would feel terrible if he realized he'd broken Bella's confidence with a stray thought. He was right, though. I did have a bit of a spring in my step the past couple of days that wasn't there before.

Bella was still out of it when I carried her inside, but she wouldn't have been comfortable sleeping in her blue jeans and hooded sweatshirt, so I woke her up gently and helped her sit on the edge of the bed while I retrieved her pajamas from the drawer. I picked her out a pink satin pajama set from the top of the pile and handed it to her. Bella looked at them with an odd expression that I didn't understand. Without a word, she put them back in the drawer and pulled out a dark blue set instead and disappeared into the bathroom. I listened to the familiar evening concert of noises as she went through her routine and smiled when I heard the sound of her hairbrush being set back on the counter. The noise that always signaled Bella was coming back to me.

Bella gave me a soft smile but her mind seemed far away as she crawled into bed. I went to kiss her forehead and tell her goodnight when she caught my hand. "Would you lay with me? Can we talk for a while?"

"Of course," I said as I crawled under the covers with her. We were each laying on our sides facing each other. "What would you like to talk about?"

"Edward, do you think that I…strung you along after Jasper and I got together?" I wasn't quite sure how to answer that, so I decided to get some more information first.

"What brought this on?"

"Something Adrian said to me tonight that just really got me to thinking. Do you?" Bella asked again.

"Bella," I began, scooting a little closer to her so I could brush her hair out of her face, "you have frequently given me reason to hope that there was a chance for us to be reunited one day. You have given me glimmers where I thought I still saw love in your eyes for me. But I have never considered it leading me on." I scooted a little closer still, and caressed her cheekbone as I cupped the back of her head in my hand. "It's only stringing me along if I don't stand a chance." I closed the last of the distance between us. I could feel the electricity surging between us as I touched my forehead to hers, our eyes locked as I whispered to her, "Do I have a chance, Bella?"

"Yes," she whispered back, her soft voice so full of passion and promise. Some floodgate inside of me burst open, no longer willing to be contained. I kissed her then, with more force then I ever had before. I started to pull back, frightened I'd hurt her, but her lips chased my own and she pulled my shirt, willing me to come back. I kissed her again, slightly gentler but with no less enthusiasm, my hand moving from her neck to her hip as I leaned into her, pressing her back into the mattress as I hovered over her. I licked her lip and she immediately opened her mouth to me with a sigh. I deepened the kiss, still in awe of the feeling of it, of being able to truly kiss my Bella this way. It was miraculous to me.

Bella's hands were running up and down the planes of my chest, finally stopping to grab the bottom hem of my t-shirt, tugging it up. I broke the kiss long enough to reach behind me and pull the shirt off, and crushed her lips with my own once more. Bella ran her hands over every bit of skin she could find, my chest, my shoulders, my back. It was heavenly. Her hands were so warm, even warmer than usual, and the way she caressed areas of my body that had never been touched that way was like nothing I had ever felt before. Her fingertips grazed over my nipples, and I moaned into her mouth.

Bella realized that my hand was staying still. I was rubbing her hipbone with my thumb, but was not moving my hand otherwise. I was afraid of hurting her, afraid of repeating Buffalo. I would never forgive myself for bruising her body that way. Bella broke the kiss and looked at me intensely for just a moment before moving her hands to the buttons on her pajama top. I watched, frozen in fear and fascination as she slowly undid each button one by one until the sides fell slightly apart as she undid the last one. I could see the valley between her breasts and the beginnings of the curves under her soft flesh. I looked in Bella's eyes and she knew. She reached down and took my hand from her hip and placed it flat on her stomach. I closed my eyes and felt the skin there, so soft and warm, quivering slightly beneath me. My index finger hovered over her belly button and I allowed my finger to dip inside it, swirling a circle around its perimeter. Bella giggled softly. As she slowly, carefully moved my hand up her torso, I prayed to whatever god would listen that they allow me this, that I be able to do this and not hurt her. I needed to be able to show her that I could do this. But this wasn't really about proving anything. It was pure desire. I needed her. Needed this. Needed us. And right now, in this moment, it seemed as though she needed those things too.

Bella had brought my hand directly over her breast, pushing her shirt back on that side as she did. She let go of me and put her hand on her own hip. I could feel her eyes watching me as I stared at the sight before me. I ran my thumb up the side of her breast as I gently cupped and squeezed the flesh. It felt as though it were made to fit perfectly in my hand. I felt her nipple harden against the palm of my hand and I turned my hand so I could see it without releasing the weight of her breast in my hand. I ran my thumb over her peak slowly, and felt it pebble against me. I stared with rapt enthrallment as it swelled and turned a darker pink under my ministrations. I was such a fool to deny us this for so long, to consider myself too weak to control my strength. I looked back at Bella. She was smiling a sweet smile, almost as if she were proud of me, but her eyes told a different story. They were hooded and brimming with lust.

Bella pushed my shoulder and I let her lead me so I was laying on my back, and she sat up, straddling my waist. My hands slid up her chest again, this time of their own volition to palm and squeeze her breasts as she removed her top. I hissed with a sharp inhale of breath as I stared at the singular beauty in front of me. Her hair cascading in soft waves over her porcelain shoulders, the moonlight from the window making her skin shimmer. She lowered her body to mine and I wrapped my hands around her back as I felt her naked breasts press up against my chest.

"Bella…" The new position pressed her pelvic bone directly into my already aching erection and my hips met her with equal force. She pivoted her hips into a semi-circle once and I grunted from the pleasure of it.

She began kissing my neck, working her way from my Adam's apple to my ear, biting my earlobe and sending delicious shivers throughout my body, running a trail from my ear to my groin, down to my toes.

I flipped us over and kissed her again. She sucked my lower lip into her mouth as her hands grabbed fists full of hair and pulled me even closer. I'd once compared the hunt to a shark's feeding frenzy. This was much the same. Coherent thought left me, there was nothing there but instinct and passion and need.

I began assaulting Bella's neck and collar with kisses. I kissed the top of her breast. My body wanted, craved her nipple in my mouth, but there was still an ounce of fear inside me. As if she could read my mind, she whispered to me.

"Edward…please…I need the same things you do. You can do it, you can. Trust yourself." I swallowed hard and kissed her peak chastely before wrapping my lips around my teeth and gently sucked her into my mouth. We both moaned in pleasure as I swirled my tongue around her nipple in small circles. Bella arched her back and pushed into me slightly, her hands gripping the sheets. I moved to the other side and did the same thing, intoxicated by the reactions it produced in Bella. She pulled me back up and once more pushed me on my back, this time laying on her side next to me.

Bella began kissing me again, and I wrapped her hair in my hands and kissed her back, never wanting this feeling to end. Her hand trailed down my stomach, her fingers sliding to the button on my jeans. Without thinking, my hand shot from her hair to stop her. She just swatted at my hand, whispering soothing sounds against my lips. I hesitated. She held her hand still, kissing and licking my jawline until she made her way back to my ear.

"Let me do this for you," she murmured.

My voice came out shaking. "I'm scared."

"I know. Trust me." I closed my eyes and moved my hand away. She finished unbuttoning the button and unzipped the zipper, kissing me languidly as she reached under the elastic of my boxers and took me into her hand.

"God…Bella…" My entire body stiffened when she wrapped her fingers around me firmly.

"Relax, Edward," she cooed and I forced myself to take a breath. Slowly, she explored my length with her hand, still hidden within the confines of my clothing. She ran her thumb over the head and my erection jerked in her hand, my hips thrust upward. I held her wrist to stop her and she waited, continuing to blaze a trail of kisses across my chest until I let go. She was patient and attentive, stopping when I needed her to stop, moving again when I thought I could handle the sensation.

Eventually, she paused to push down my jeans and boxers, only using her hands until they were down enough for her to catch them with her foot, shoving them down to my ankles. She returned to stroking me and I grabbed the sheet with one hand but allowed my other hand to trace up and down her spine. She sped up, her hand now at a better angle to do so. She kissed lower and lower as she stroked me, taking my nipple into her mouth, licking and teasing it before biting me, causing my body to buck once more. She chuckled gleefully against my skin and she grabbed me harder and sped up. Every couple of strokes, she would swipe her pinky across my ball sac as she reached the base. It only took a couple of times of that before I started to feel the tightening and throbbing that I now recognized as warning of an impending orgasm.

"Oh Bella…it feels so…I'm going to…Baby, is it okay if I…" I bit my lower lip, my inexperience overwhelming me almost as much as the intense feelings.

"It won't hurt me, Edward. Let go. I want to see you let go." My hand that was on her spine drifted lower, grabbing her butt cheek through her pajama bottoms as my climax erupted within me and I moaned her name once more. I felt the cool liquid fall on my abdomen in spurts. Some part of me felt as though I should be embarrassed or ashamed, but I couldn't be. Bella slowed down her movements until I was completely spent, and then stopped, bringing her hand up to rest on my chest as she began kissing me again, this time soft and tender.

I took her face in my hands and pulled her back so I could look into the chocolate eyes of my angel. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Bella chuckled at me. "No, silly, you didn't hurt me at all. Wait here, let me get a washcloth." I laced my fingers behind my head and basked in the pure and utter bliss of the moment. Bella returned a moment later with a hot, damp washcloth and carefully cleaned me up and dried me off. I smiled at her gratefully and hoped she knew it was for far more than just cleaning me off.

"You know," she teased as she tossed the towels in the sink and sauntered back to bed, "that sounded even better with you in the same room." The smirk on her face was the polar opposite of the shock on mine. I grabbed her by the waist and flung her over me and back on the bed, pinning her beneath me.

"Yes, well, I quite enjoyed the sounds of you moaning my name the other night as well, although I can't help but wonder how much better it would sound without that awful buzzing noise in the background." Bella turned eight shades of red and reached behind her to grab the pillow under her head and smacked me with it. I just laughed and kissed her nose. She pouted playfully at me for a moment, but grew serious again. She put her hand on my cheek and lifted her head to kiss me chastely before laying it back down. "Tonight was about you, I was able to bring you pleasure tonight, and this time I got to see you in ecstasy. That's more than enough for me. The important thing is that you see now that you can be in the throes of passion and still be strong enough not to hurt me." I nodded at her in hesitant agreement. I hadn't hurt her. I just hoped that if we were ever in this place again, that I could pleasure her as well with the same result.

"Bella, can I stay? Can I hold you tonight? Like this?" I motioned at our bodies, myself totally nude, Bella topless. She nodded at me and I sat up so she could turn on her side. I slid in behind her, our legs intermingling, her bare back tantalizingly pressed against my chest as I wrapped my arms around her and placed a string of light kisses along her shoulder and the nape of her neck. She hummed contentedly. My hands found their way to her breasts, holding and caressing them lightly. Now that I knew I could touch them, I found myself not ever wanting to stop. Bella laughed softly.

"I think I've created a monster," she teased.

"You have no idea," I mumbled against her skin, kissing the soft skin between her shoulder blades.

"Tomorrow, baby. The human needs to sleep."

"Mmmm…I love it when you call me baby," I whispered in her ear before tracing the shell with my tongue. I was already erect again, and Bella pressed back against me, making me even harder. "Please…just a little more…" Bella turned her head to look at me and gave me a quick kiss.

"Edward, please understand. I'm not ready for much more than this right now. Please." The irony of the situation was not beyond me. How many times had she begged me for more and I made her stop. I stopped fondling her breasts, but I wasn't moving my hands unless she made me. Even just the movement of her breaths with me holding her like this was so erotic to me.

With a defeated sigh, I placed one more kiss on her shoulder and laid down. "Alright, my Bella. Goodnight, beautiful. Sweet dreams."

"Goodnight, Edward." Bella closed her eyes and snuggled against me. I growled lowly at the friction she caused and she giggled. Figuring turnabout was fair play, I began nonchalantly playing with one of her nipples between my fingers and she stopped squirming, growling back at me. I chuckled and stopped before she went the whole night without sleep.

"Bella?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"I love you." I knew that even if she said it back, it didn't mean forever. But here, in each other's arms this way for the first time, I couldn't help but feel that it would mean something more than it meant before. I needed to hear it. To know that I really did stand a chance.

"I love you, too."

**Jasper's POV**

Between Bella disappearing for a week, then breaking up with me, then the whole Kelly revelation, I was about at my wit's end. I was shot. I sat on my bed with an antique wooden box in my lap. How long had I sat here? Hours? Days? I opened the box and stared at the pile of yellowed parchment paper inside, tied together with a dusty black satin ribbon. I untied the bow and picked up the top piece of paper.

_My Dearest Mother,_

_Please forgive me. I know you did not approve of me entering the war. I know especially that you did not approve of the illegitimate manner in which I did so. I hope and pray that you find it in your heart to forgive me. I did it to ensure the safety of our family in these trying times and to ensure a desirable future for Amelia and me. When I return, I intend to ask her father for her hand. In the meantime, I trust that you will keep her under your wing and not let her be too sad. _

_Know that I love you with all my heart, and that I will do all in my power to make you proud and to come home to you soon. Send my love to my dear sister for me._

_Your loving son,  
Pvt. Jasper Whitlock_

I couldn't believe it. Kelly was my niece. Technically, she was my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-niece, but that was beside the point. She was family. She was blood. I had done Emmett's genealogy for him, and Alice's too after she learned about her roots. No one else in the family had wanted to explore what had happened to their families after their deaths. The thought was too painful, and even with my love of history, I couldn't help but agree. Better to move on.

I don't know how I hadn't seen it before. Kelly had my mother's eyes. Her facial structure was similar to my own. She was from Texas. All the pieces fell into place with a crash.

Kelly was of course fascinated that she had someone in her ancestry with the same first name as me. Luckily, I was using Hale at school instead of Whitlock. That would have opened a Pandora's box that I wasn't sure I could close.

I wasn't focused at my own name on the page. I was focused on Amelia's. She was the girl. The girl with the parasol from the hazy pictures in my memory. We were going to be married, but I left to go to war. What a fool I was. I flipped through the stack of letters until I found one that was not in my handwriting, but hers.

_Dear Mother Whitlock,_

_I know it is improper of me to still call you that, seeing as your son and I were never formally bound by marriage, but we were bound by love, and he will always hold a special place in my heart, as do you. I am sure you have heard by now that I am bequeathed to another. He is a fine man. He does not try and take Jasper's place. He knows that there is a part of me that died with your son, and a part of Jasper that lives on in my heart. He has accepted that, and is willing to share me with a ghost and take what love and affection I can offer him. In fact, he has even agreed to allow me to name our child after Jasper, should we be blessed with a son one day. I know that he will provide for me. I cannot be a burden to my parents any longer. They have watched me mourn long enough. _

_I pray that all finds you well, and that we can keep in touch through the years._

_Yours always,  
Amelia Brown_

"Jasper?" Alice knocked on the door, then opened it a crack and peeked her head in. "Can I come in?" I nodded and she sat down on the bed next to me.

Alice gently extracted the letters from my hands and reading the top one. "Wow…pretty cool."

"Did you know?" I asked her. I wasn't angry, just curious.

"I had seen snippets, you going through the boxes of stuff, finding a lace handkerchief, a white glove, and the box of letters. I knew they were significant, I just wasn't sure how. So Kelly's your niece. She had a crush on you too, that's kind of weird now. At least you didn't sleep with her, that would have been disturbing," Alice teased. I glowered at her.

"Not helpful, Alice."

"What's the big deal? I mean, there's nothing here to make her suspect that you and Jasper Whitlock are one and the same, so what's the harm? All that happened was that you learned a little more about your own history, and you found out that at least one of your descendants is a happy, well-adjusted person." Alice shrugged her shoulders and hopped off the bed.

"Now come on! I've already had a vision of Heidi and Felix getting on the plane. They'll be here by tomorrow. Therefore, we are all going to go to the game, watch my man win, then live it up tonight. Go change. If you sat there any longer, you'd have moss growing on you." Alice skipped out the door and closed it behind her to get ready.

I carefully returned everything to its rightful place and put the box on the dresser, where Bella's magnolia box used to sit. Bella. I hadn't seen or heard from her since that day at the lake. I was certain she had heard my messages. What must she have thought? She would have thought you were a crazed lunatic, that's what. I had to swallow my pride and my jealousy and apologize for being such a dick, because acting that way was certainly not going to persuade her to come back to me. I promised her I would be what she needed right now, while she sorted herself out. I would be her friend, and that's what I intended to do. Starting today.

Alice and I walked side by side from the car to the stadium, and it wasn't long before we ran into Bella and Edward. Edward had his hand low on her hip in a very intimate fashion as they chatted with Kelly. Alice took my hand and squeezed it, hard, before releasing me. It was a clear warning to chill out.

"Hey guys!" Alice said cheerfully as she hugged everyone hello. Bella looked at me hesitantly and I smiled my best smile at her. She relaxed a little and smiled back.

I made sure that Kelly wasn't looking our way and mouthed "I'm sorry" to her. She nodded her head and mouthed "Me too." Well, it was something. I shook Edward's hand and took a chance at hugging Kelly and Bella in greeting. Kelly was surprised at my rare show of affection, but hugged me back with a chuckle. Bella accepted my hug warmly, and I was thankful for it. I took a quick, deep breath, inhaling her scent before releasing her. Everyone pretended not to notice.

We made some small talk, and then said goodbye to make our way to our seats. Edward and Bella stopped in line at the concession stand for some hot chocolate, so Alice and I went and sat down, Alice taking the seat where Bella used to sit.

"You're doing good, just relax. This is the last day for dress rehearsals, Jasper. Tomorrow begins the real performance," Alice reminded me. She didn't scream Adrian's name when he entered the field the way she normally did, but her eyes never left him just the same.

Bella and Edward took their seats a moment later, with Bella between Alice and Edward. We all watched the game intently until half time. Edward got Bella another hot chocolate and Bella started talking to Alice.

"So, Alice, I was thinking…do you want to come with me to England over Christmas break?" Bella smiled at her over the Styrofoam mug. She had put up that calm façade again, so I couldn't read her emotions, but something seemed a little odd in her expression. Maybe it was the twinkle in her eyes.

"Really?! I'd love to!" Alice hopped up and down in her seat excitedly. "We are going to have so much fun!"

"I'm sure we will," Bella said. The game started and recaptured our attention, and OSU won again. We cheered and waited until the teammates exited the field before making our departure.

"So, our friends should be here tomorrow. I was thinking we'd have a last hurrah before they get here and go to Destine tonight? What'dya think?"

Everyone agreed that it sounded like a great idea, although I think Alice was the only one who actually thought it was. Nevertheless, three hours later, we found ourselves on the dance floor of the club. Bella was determined to have fun, dancing with each of us in turn, even Alice. It was painfully difficult to not press her body to mine, but just dance the way old friends would, but I did it because it made her happy.

Edward, on the other hand, was fully enjoying dancing with her, his hands running up and down her sides, his head buried in her hair. He wasn't doing anything vulgar or inappropriate. It was just the way they looked so completely comfortable together that made it seem so intimate. It hurt. A lot. But I found that I was able to watch without turning away or breaking something in rage. Considering that our guests were arriving shortly, I begrudgingly admitted that it was a good thing.

"So, Alice, let me ask you something…this two week practice run, was it so that they would get used to being comfortable together, or was it so I could get used to seeing it?" Alice looked at me knowingly.

"Why do you ask me questions you already know the answer to, Jazz?" Alice asked tenderly.

When the song was over, Bella kissed Adrian, Alice and myself all on the cheek and said goodnight before she and Edward headed home. We left shortly thereafter, and I said goodnight to Alice and Adrian as they headed for his dorm and I headed for home. I just laid on the bed listening to music until the morning light started forcing its way through the curtains. My cell phone buzzed. It was a text message from Edward.

_They're here._

**Edward's POV**

Bella was exhausted when we got home from the club, and as much as I wanted a repeat of last night before we were under the watchful eye of the Volturi, I knew she needed her rest. Still, she didn't complain when I crawled in bed and pulled her to me, kissing and groping her a little before we got settled in and she fell asleep. I was glad that Jasper had no hateful thoughts towards us tonight when we were dancing. I made certain that I was the perfect gentleman while we were dancing. If anything, our dancing was much less intimate than the last time we were at the club and Bella was dancing between Jasper and me. But he was right, we were much more comfortable with each other now, and it was obvious to everyone in the room.

She slept soundly, and for the second night in a row she had no nightmares and the only name she spoke in her sleep was mine. I was thankful for that. If the Volturi heard her mutter Jasper's name in her sleep, we would have a lot of explaining to do. It felt like we were on one of those horrid reality shows, only this time if you lost, you died. I wondered just how closely they were going to be observing us. I was uncomfortable with the idea of them being around us 24/7, especially if things progressed the way they had been. I know that my family had no problems being intimate within hearing range of the rest of us, but I don't think I could do that. Especially when the vampire in hearing range wasn't even family.

It was shortly before daybreak when I got Alice's text message.

_They're on their way to your house. Let Jasper know when they show up. I'm heading home shortly._

I let Bella sleep. If she was awake and waiting for them before dawn, they might get suspicious. Plus, she was tired. I left a note on my pillow telling her they would be there when she woke up so she would know not to come out in her pajamas.

I opened the door when I heard the car pull up. Heidi and Felix, looking like they'd just stepped off the runway. Felix, with his black hair, black sunglasses, black jacket, Italian leather shoes, gold chain, cocky smirk. He struck me as such a player as he hopped out of the driver's seat of a red Lamborghini.

"Ciao, Edward! It's been too long, eh?" He smiled at me like we were childhood buddies. I extended my hand but he pulled me into a manly hug instead. "How are you, my old friend?"

"I am well, Felix, and you?"

"I am liking America already. The women here are magnificent! So many flavors to choose from!" He kissed his fingertips and thrust them in the air. A quick glance to his thoughts showed he had seduced a woman into a restroom at the airport and drained her dry. At least she looked like she had died happy.

"Felix, while you are here, I would appreciate if you would keep a low profile. Bella and I rather like it here and don't need any added attention, if you know what I mean. If you like, I'd even be willing to take you hunting with me." Felix wrinkled his nose in distaste.

"We'll see. But I will make sure you don't end up on the six o'clock news, okay?"

Heidi had gotten out of the passenger seat and walked around to us, kissing me on both cheeks cordially. She was a beautiful woman, there wasn't a man in the world who would think otherwise. Tall, statuesque. She wore a leather skirt that went to mid-thigh, with black stockings, stiletto heels, and a dark purple billowing blouse that showed her ample cleavage. The top matched nicely with her violet eyes, the result of blue contacts over the red. Not my type, but beautiful nonetheless.

"Ciao, Edward. I trust all is well with you."

"It is. Bella's still sleeping, so I'd ask that you be quiet when you come in, but please, make yourselves at home."

They feigned surprise at what they'd already determined. "Bella's sleeping? You mean, she's still…human?"

**A/N: The Cullendales have made their way to Edmonton, Canada to put on a show for all my lovely fans in that neck of the woods. Seriously though guys, I can't remember the last time I have been so nervous about posting a chapter as I was about posting this one, and I REALLY want to know what you think. Much love and chocolate adonis statues!**


	30. Chapter 29: Tangled Up In You

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do own my OCs, this storyline, and a lifetime supply of Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs, which should last me about a week.**

**A/N: Okay, I've got a few things this time. Sorry! First, readingtime=beta=love.**

**Theme song for this chapter is Tangled Up In You by Staind. Download it. It's awesome. Thanks to Julie and Mari and everyone else who sends me song selections. You are love.**

**A Lesson in Release has been nominated for "Best Non-Canon Couple" in the Twi-Fi awards! The link to vote is on my profile. DefinitelyStaying is nominated for Best AU-Human Incomplete for The Forbidden Room and Best Crossover for Dark Chambers of the Heart and Bella's Notebook. I'd love to see her win in both those categories. Link to vote is on my profile. DefinitelyStaying is on my favorite author's list.**

**I need to acknowledge a story on that other FF site you see me on. It is called Let Me Ease You. I had never heard of that website until I was halfway through A Lesson in Release and GiveUsAKiss413 talked me into posting my story there so she could start a forum for me, for which I will be forever grateful. I don't read many stories on that site (you know how I feel about that white type), but this story was brought to my attention because it was actually posted a month before I started A Lesson in Release and has a similar premise in that Jasper is sent to ease Bella's frustration, this time by Edward, only he's not touching her physically, he is using his power against her in a really unique way. I don't feel right calling it a story recommendation as there are only four chapters posted in six months, but it is an interesting story and I love how she altered Jasper's ability. However, I felt it was only right to publically acknowledge the similarities, even if they are coincidental. I imagine that I will get emails saying "I never would have made the connection" like I did with Hiding in Plain Sight, but I always feel more comfortable erring on the side of caution.**

**My story recommendation for this week is Twice As Long As Yesterday by hopeful wager. I don't read many period pieces on FF because I'm afraid of people messing them up and making me feel like I'm waiting for Bella and Edward to pull out their i-Phone in the town square, but this one is so well done. Peasant Isabella goes to Lord Cullen to beg him not to evict her and her father, who is too ill to work. They make an arrangement where she will give herself to him each evening, for twice as long as the night before, starting with only a few seconds. It is sexy and romantic and very well done. I can't wait for the next chapter! It is on my favorites list. Oh, and two of my previous recommendations, Hello Stranger and Abbracciare il Cantante, have both gone over 1,000 reviews thanks to you! You guys make me feel like Oprah! On to the story - Enjoy!**

**Edward's POV**

Their thoughts surprised me.

_Oh, Edward. Please don't make us do this,_ Heidi lamented.

_If he's afraid to do it, maybe I could do it for him. Caius would be angry with me, but Marcus and Aro would come to my defense, I'm sure. Bella is too magnificent a creature to die over something so silly as being changed_, Felix mused. _I would love to do it. I would make sure she'd enjoy it, although she might not want to go back to Edward when I was done with her. _He envisioned a cliché seduction scene complete with hundreds of candles and red satin sheets, with him kissing her neck, starting behind her ear and slowly working his way down her throat while his hands explored her body. Bella was naked below him, writhing in passion as he worked her into such a frenzy that she was barely aware of him breaking the delicate skin over her jugular with his teeth. The possessive side of me fumed. I never wanted another man touching Bella that way again except me. Not only that, but if anyone's venom was going to be running through Bella's veins, I wanted it to be mine. I growled lowly at him and he shrugged apologetically.

I opened the front door and bade them enter, closing the door quietly behind them. "Allow me to explain. I wanted to allow Bella as many human experiences as I could before her transformation, and there were a few things she wanted. One was to have a year of college as a human. Another was to get married as a human, so that her family and friends could be there and her father could walk her down the aisle. The plan is to get married the third weekend in June, which would be right after school lets out, and then change her immediately following the honeymoon." I was fairly certain that my lie was delivered convincingly.

"Edward, you understand, of course, that our masters were under the impression that Bella would have been changed by now. I am going to have to call them and let them know of your plans. Pray they are in a good mood," Heidi said. _I'll call Aro. We'll have a better chance of this ending peacefully if I go through him. _She excused herself and stepped outside, closing the door quietly before running out of hearing range to call Aro.

I heard Bella wake up, and her heart started racing the moment she read my note. I considered going into the bedroom to calm her, but was afraid that in her panic, she might say something she shouldn't, forgetting that they could hear her. No, it was better for me to wait for her to pull herself together and join us in the living room. I went into the kitchen and got her coffee started for her. I heard Bella drop her toothbrush several times in her nervousness. It would have been humorous if I wasn't waiting for Heidi to return to tell us what judgment had been passed against us by the Volturi.

Bella walked out a moment later, biting her lower lip. I sped over to her and put my hands on her shoulders, kissing her lightly. "Good morning, beautiful." Bella's heart slowed down just a little and she smiled hesitantly at me. I took her by the hand and led her back to the living room. "Bella, love, you remember Felix, don't you?"

Felix jumped up off the couch to kiss Bella on both cheeks. She flinched and then blushed when she realized he wasn't attacking her. "Buongiorno, Bella! You are even more beautiful than when I saw you last. Speaking of which, you must forgive my rudeness back in Italy. I was quite famished the day we first met, and much like humans, I tend to get a bit crabby when I'm hungry." _And you smelled so delicious_, he added in his head. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

Bella squeezed my hand as she smiled demurely at Felix. "Hello, Felix. Not to worry, I didn't take it personally, I assure you. To what do we owe the honor of your visit?" Bella and I made our way to the island, and I noticed she was still shaking a little as she sat one of the barstools. I kissed her forehead before going around to make her a cup of coffee. Felix sat down on the stool next to her.

"Our masters were anxious to hear news of your transformation, which Aro is quite certain will be extraordinary, so they sent Heidi and I for a friendly visit. I understand you wish to wait until after your wedding. When will that be?" He was the picture of politeness as he tested her to make sure her answers matched mine.

"The third Saturday in June. Please let them know that they will, of course, receive an invitation once the date is closer. You are more than welcome to attend as well."

"Speaking of which," Alice said as she and Jasper barged in without knocking, "did you get a chance to look at those dresses yet?" Alice flitted over to me and got on her tiptoes to give me a kiss on the cheek. _Aro agreed to give Bella until after the honeymoon. But Caius insisted on them staying with us until after the change to make sure we don't run_, Alice let me know in her thoughts_. _I kissed her back in thanks. "Oh. Hi Felix," Alice said offhandedly before returning her attention to Bella.

Jasper stood just inside the doorway and stared at Felix, trying to ascertain his emotions and at the same time give nothing away. He kept repeating to himself _Don't look at Bella._ It got more difficult for him, however, when he realized that Felix had a lustful crush on Bella. I was angry at myself for failing to mention that to Jasper before. Felix, despite being 'crabby' in Italy, was immediately taken with Bella. He even tried to instigate a fight with me in an effort to win her for himself.

Bella was doing a good job of looking relaxed, even if her heart rate was giving her away to everyone in the room. "Yes, Alice, I did, actually." She grabbed the bridal magazines from the coffee table and gave them back to Alice. They now had significantly fewer tabbed pages then when Alice gave them to her. "The ones I left tabbed are the ones that I liked." Alice nodded and put them under her purse on the counter for inspection later.

"What about the cakes? Have you decided on a color scheme yet? That'll help us narrow down the cakes quite a bit."

"How about pink?" Jasper spoke up. "You've always liked pink." He was thinking of Bella in her room at Charlie's house, lying on her bed in the same pink pajamas that she had rejected two nights ago when I handed them to her. Now I knew why. I wasn't sure whether to feel jealous at the images I was being subjected to or thrilled that she chose the blue ones over the pink ones. I made a mental note to offer to dispose of the pink pajamas for her if she wished.

"Ugh!" Alice groaned. "Pink looks horrid with my skin tone. Besides, this is not going to be a Steel Magnolias wedding. No armadillo cakes and NO PINK." Alice pictured herself in an ugly hot pink dress with a ridiculous poufy bow and satin shoes dyed to match and shuddered from the thought.

"Why not blue?" I suggested, smirking just a little. It earned me a dirty look from Bella, Alice, and of course Jasper. Luckily, Felix didn't detect anything out of the ordinary.

"Actually," Bella said, turning back to Alice, "I was thinking…green. Emerald green. With brown as the accent color." Alice squealed in approval and immediately began flipping pages searching for something. She paused on a picture of a cake. "It's called a Lily of the Valley cake. Now the flowers on this one are quite bright, but I'm sure we could get more natural looking flowers on it if you want." It was actually a very pretty cake, although it looked like it would feed 300 people, and considering that more than half the wedding party would be vampires, and that's if there even was a wedding, it seemed a bit much. Bella seemed to like it, although I couldn't be sure if she was just placating Alice or perhaps just being agreeable for Felix's benefit.

Heidi knocked just then and Jasper turned to open the door for her. He was mesmerized by her beauty, although he thought she was trying too hard. _She smells wonderful,_ he thought, _like sunshine and wildflowers. I've never met a vampire with such an amazing scent before. _I agreed with Jasper in that Heidi would be much prettier if she were to take it down a notch or five, but her attire was requisite to her position as 'fisher' for the Volturi, I was quite certain. I hadn't really noticed her scent as being anything unusual, though. Huh.

Heidi appraised Jasper as she breezed by him to take a seat on the couch. _Praise the goddesses; he is one fine looking vampire. Alice is a lucky lady_. "Edward, I have spoken with Aro. He and his brothers have agreed to your timeframe for Bella's transformation, under one condition. Felix and I are to join you for the remainder of the school year to ensure that everything goes as planned." Jasper immediately began a mental slew of curse words, while Alice seemed satisfied that they were not ordered to kill us on sight. She was still having visions of them attending classes with us, which made her happy, not only because it gave us more time, but because the very fact that she was having visions at all meant that Adrian was flying safely under their radar.

Surprisingly, both Heidi and Felix were thrilled with this new development. They were both looking forward to a break from the monotony of life in Volterra. Heidi was even hoping to see if she could adapt to our vegetarian lifestyle.

"We will need to secure a residence, preferably closer to downtown where the fishing is easier and less conspicuous," Felix began, "and since you are all attending classes, it would make sense for us to do the same. Would you agree, Heidi?"

"Yes, with everything except the fishing part. If we are going to be staying here long term, I think it would best serve everyone's interests to at least attempt to abstain from humans while we are here."

Felix was not pleased, but acquiesced. "We can try it, if you insist, but we will need to make sure that our eyes are red again by the time we return to Italy. I do not think our masters would approve of our change in diet. Still, with circumstances being what they are, it is probably the most prudent course of action for the time being. That being the case, we can find a place near here instead."

Alice volunteered to help them get set up with a place to stay and she and Heidi made plans to go shopping for everything else they would need. Jasper offered to take them hunting after they got settled. With a deep sense of relief, I waved goodbye to the four of them as they headed for Alice and Jasper's house. I knew from Alice's thoughts that they would be gone until nightfall and that it was the last time that Bella and I would be truly alone for quite a while.

I found Bella in the kitchen, dumping the last of her coffee into the sink. I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her cheek as I hugged her to me. Bella leaned back into me and sighed. "That went well, don't you think?" I asked.

"Are they listening?" she whispered.

"Not right now. Alice said they would be occupied until nightfall, but then they will start surveillance shifts. But just so you know, when they do show up," I dropped my voice as low as hers was, "they'll be able to hear you whispering."

"Ugh! Do you realize how humiliating this is going to be for me? To know that they're going to hear _everything_?! The idea of Felix lurking in the woods somewhere listening while I sleep, or shower, or go to the bathroom; it's creepy and embarrassing." I turned her around and put my hands on her hips, pressing her into the kitchen counter before nuzzling her jaw with my nose.

"They're not here now," I spoke softly into her ear. "We should take advantage of our privacy while it lasts, don't you think?" I took her earlobe between my lips and gently sucked on it. Bella shivered in pleasure before pulling away from me.

"Edward, we should talk about the other night while we've got the chance. It was wonderful, and I don't regret a moment of it, but I don't want to give you the wrong idea. I'm not ready to commit to anyone right now. I meant what I said before, I need to figure some things out, get my head screwed on straight. As it is now, I can't give anyone my whole heart and know that it belongs to them and them alone."

I took a deep breath before responding. "I can appreciate that, Bella. If we were to get back together right now, I couldn't honestly say I would never doubt you. But on the other hand, I don't want to close ourselves completely off from one another while you are taking time for yourself, either. I _love_ being able to be close to you like this." I caressed her ribcage with my thumbs and pressed my hips into hers for emphasis. Bella gasped at my brazen gesture. "Bella, I didn't think about the bloodlust at all, not once. That's amazing to me. And while I was afraid of losing control and hurting you, I didn't. You made me feel so good, better than I've ever felt before in my life. If you can handle it, I would really like to try to return the favor, now while we've got the chance. I know it doesn't mean forever, but a part of me needs to know that if we do get back together, we can have that level of intimacy. You deserve to know ahead of time whether or not you'd be giving that up to be with me." Bella bit her lower lip and thought for a moment. I could tell she wanted to; she just didn't know if she should. I bent down and kissed the shell of her ear. "_Please_, Bella?" I breathed. "I _need_ you."

Bella's fingers made their way into my hair and she turned her face towards mine to kiss me. Her lips brushed against mine as she spoke. "Do you know how long I have waited to hear you say those words to me?" I bent down and picked her up bridal style, placing soft kisses on her face as I carried her to our bedroom. Our bedroom. In Our Home. I pulled back the comforter and sheets with one hand and then gently laid her down. I stood back and took a moment to admire her.

Her hair swirled around her head in soft curls on the pillow around her. Her long, elegant neck flexed as she swallowed a little nervously. Her blood pulsed through her jugular, the sweet scent of her humanity wafting from it in waves. It did not demand attention, instead merely making me aware of its presence. Her chest rose and fell in deep breaths, the gentle curves of her breasts calling to me from under her blouse, much louder than her blood. Her blouse rode up slightly, allowing me to see an inch or so of her soft, creamy stomach, her belly button that was quickly becoming a new object of my fascination, begging for me to plunder and explore it. Her hips, which I firmly believed were made for my hands, led sinuously to her long, beautiful legs. Even her ankles and her feet were beautiful and begged to be worshipped.

Bella scooted into the middle of the bed to make room for me to join her. The confident cockiness I had just exuded moments before in the kitchen evaporated as I laid down next to her. How could I compare to someone with hundreds of years of experience, to someone who had no worries about Bella's blood singing to him, to someone who has never had to worry about hurting her when he touched her, to someone who has never hurt her the way I have. I suddenly felt like a scared teenage boy instead of a century old vampire. Bella must have seen the fear in my eyes. She put her hand to my cheek and I leaned into it. "Talk to me," she said.

"Back in Buffalo, I hurt you, in more ways than one. I don't ever want to hurt you again, my Bella." I looked down in shame, but Bella was having none of it, putting her fingers under my chin and lifting my gaze to meet hers.

"Edward, I've forgiven you long ago for what happened in Buffalo. It was both our faults. I put you in a position where you felt it was a competition. It's not. Be with me now because you want to be. Be with me now because I want you to be. Forget yesterday. Forget tomorrow. Right here, right now, there is just you and me, and we don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

I bent down and kissed her softly. "I just want to please you, Bella," my voice was thick with emotions and cracked as I spoke.

She pulled me down to her and kissed me back. Harder. "You will." I returned her kiss in kind, her tongue caressing my lip and I opened my mouth to her. Trusting her. Loving her. She moaned into my mouth as our tongues made love, slowly, sensuously.

I pulled back so she could breathe and kissed her chin before placing soft, open mouthed kisses up her jaw and down her collarbone, my tongue darting out to taste and caress her skin. "Bella," I mumbled between kisses, "You have to"…_kiss_… "tell me"…_kiss_… "if I hurt you" …_kiss_… "in any way, okay?"..._kiss_… "Promise me, please."

"Mmmm…I promise, Edward," she hummed against my lips as my tongue swirled around the hollow of her throat, the vibrations shaking me to my core. One hand twirled a strand of her hair between my fingers, while my other hand slowly slid down her side to just under the hem of her blouse. I recaptured her mouth in a searing kiss while painstakingly unbuttoning each button, starting from the bottom and working my way up. My fingertips were on fire as they skated across her smooth stomach. Our legs became tangled and when I felt my erection meet her thigh, I couldn't help but rub myself against her, desperate for the heat and friction I found. I was afraid it would bother Bella, but instead she lifted her leg slightly and pressed into me, allowing me a better angle.

My fingers ghosted, rib by rib, until they arrived at her breast. Bella arched her back and I quickly reached behind her and unclasped her bra. I pulled her up so that I could push her blouse over her shoulders and kissed along the crest of her shoulder as I removed her top, then lowered the loose straps of her bra down her arms, finally tossing the unneeded garments aside.

I wasted no time in taking her beautiful breasts in my hands as she laid back down. They filled my palms perfectly. I must have had a goofy grin on my face as I played with them, giggling them like so much jell-o, running my thumbs along the outer rings of her nipples, tweaking her peaks between my fingers. I pushed them together and bent down to kiss the cleavage between them and moaned at the delight I took in it. Bella giggled at me and I looked up, laying my chin on them and continuing to play as I looked at her inquisitively. "Find something you like?" she teased.

I responded by attacking one of her nipples with my mouth like a starving man attacking a sandwich, moaning against her as I felt her pink flesh lengthen and harden against my tongue. "You are exquisite, love. I don't know how I resisted you for so long. Why did I ever want to deny myself the wonder that is you?" I turned my attention to her other side and laved attention upon it as well. Bella ran her fingers through my hair and pressed her chest firmly against my mouth. It was divine.

I unhurriedly explored that particular section of her body, but Bella never got bored of my fascination. Eventually I moved lower, continuing to fondle her as my kisses ventured to her belly button, swirling around it and darting inside. The taste of her skin was concentrated there and I couldn't get enough of it. I trailed kisses along her stomach and sides in swirling patterns until I had made certain not one single exposed cell had been forgotten or ignored.

When I reached the waistband of her jeans, I paused and looked up at her once again for approval. Her hooded eyes and soft smile gave me courage as I slowly unbuttoned her jeans and slid the zipper down, revealing a small peek at her ivory lace underwear. Bella lifted her hips and I linked my fingers into her front pockets, slowly pulling them down her legs before they, too, found their home on the floor.

I placed a soft kiss on the arch of her foot and then more tiny kisses on the tips of each of her toes, followed by the smooth skin of her ankles. I massaged the muscles on her calf as I kissed my way slowly up her leg, paying special attention to the sensitive flesh on the back of her knee before blowing a cool breath over the damp skin. I was rewarded with goosebumps all along the back of her thighs leading up to her…oh God. The flimsy lace undergarments left little to the imagination as they clung, soaked, against her sex. The intoxicating scent of her arousal hit me like a Mack truck and I was frozen, staring. For the second time today, I was petrified. I may have been forgiven for past mistakes, but that didn't mean that I wouldn't repeat them. Bella sensed my hesitation and took a hold of my forearms just below my shoulders and pulled me back up her body next to her, kissing me again. It was both patient and urgent, both passionate and romantic. It was perfection.

My hand ran up and down her spine as our kisses become more intense, and I finally found the courage to go lower, grabbing her butt cheek and pulling her closer against me. I found I enjoyed kneading the pliable flesh there almost as much as her breasts, and Bella seemed to like it as well, which pleased me. When she tilted herself away from me to lay flat on the mattress again, I traced the waistband of her panties back to the middle of her abdomen, my finger running just under the edge of the fabric. Bella lifted her hips, urging my hand lower. At a snail's pace, I ran my hand down the outside of her panties, between her legs, finally palming her. I groaned into her neck at the heat and moisture there.

"Oh my sweet Bella…" She curled her pelvis upward into my hand so that my fingers grazed her folds over the wet lace. My body was telling me to rip them from her body and plunge my fingers deep inside her, but I would not hurt her again. I simply wanted to pleasure her as she had me. I wanted to show her how much I loved her, wanted her, needed her. I closed my eyes and pictured myself at the piano, completely in control. I focused on the way that my fingers fluttered delicately over the keys. Not since my newborn days had I ever lacked the control necessary to not damage the instrument, regardless of how overcome by the music I was. I began flitting my fingers gracefully to the music in my mind, building from adagio to allegro and back as I played my new instrument. Bella's soft moans of pleasure were music to my ears. I repeated the notes that seemed to earn the most response, teasing and caressing as I learned the keys.

"Please…" Bella whimpered, lifting her hips so I could slide her panties off. My fingers floated like butterflies wings over my instrument. The crescendo was building and Bella began writhing, her head flinging back and forth, her panted breaths serving as my metronome, her racing heartbeat my percussion. I slid my middle finger inside her soft, warm depths and found new keys to play while I gently caressed her lower lips, her bundle of nerves slick with her arousal as our composition became an operetta. "Yes, Edward…right there, baby…so good…don't stop…" I smiled in satisfaction as I saw the bliss on her face, her eyes sealed shut as she absorbed the feelings I was producing in her. The masterpiece took on a triumphant conclusion as Bella bucked into my hand, her muscles clamping down on me as she orgasmed. I held my fingers still over the keys until the last note had faded, leaving only heavenly victory in its wake.

Bella turned and began kissing me again and I was so caught up in it that I almost didn't notice when she began unbuttoning my shirt. As soon as she freed the last button, I broke our kiss long enough to remove the shirt and toss it to the floor before returning to Bella. Her hands roamed up and down my chest, my arms, my back, everything they could touch before embedding themselves once again in my hair. She pulled me to her and I moaned again when I felt her breasts pressed into my chest, our nipples rubbing against each others. My legs straddled one of hers and her thigh was pressed against my painful erection. Bella needed air, and I almost felt as if I did too as I went back to kissing and nuzzling her neck. I pushed her into the mattress and crawled on top of her, nestled between her legs. Bella slid her hands down the back of my jeans, under my boxers to grab and squeeze my bum. I couldn't believe the passion that gesture ignited in me, and I ground my erection into her core in response. Bella pulled her hands back out and ran them around my waist to the button of my jeans, fiddling with it for a moment until I realized that she was trying to unbutton them, but I wasn't giving her the space between us to do so. I sat up onto my knees and undid the fasteners myself. Bella's eyes, dark and clouded with desire, were fixated on my groin as I removed my jeans and boxers in one swift motion before laying on top of her once more, careful to not put too much weight on her.

The feeling of Bella's naked body aligned with mine was mind altering. My emotions overtook me. I ran my fingers up and down her side with one hand as I went back to kissing her neck, the tip of my member brushing against her folds with every slight movement we made. "I love you, I love you, I love you," I whispered to her before drawing up to look in her eyes. Bella held me tight as I caressed her cheekbone with my thumb.

"I love you, too, Edward." There was such love in her eyes, and lust as well, but there was also hesitation. "But…"

I stopped her with a kiss, grateful when she returned it. "No buts, love. It's just you and me and this moment. We can talk about the future later. Right now, I want nothing more than to make love to you. I'll understand if you say no, but please, Bella. Say you'll be my first. Say you want me as much as I want you. It doesn't have to mean forever if you don't want it to."

Bella answered me by crashing her lips into mine. She drew her legs up so her feet were near my hips and reached between us, grabbing a hold of me and guiding me to her entrance. She released me and wrapped her arms around my neck. Slowly, unsure of myself and terrified yet again, I pivoted my hips and pushed upwards and inward. I was completely unprepared for the intensity of the sensation of being inside my Bella. The heat, the silky softness, the tight grip around me as her body adjusted. "Oh, baby…" I cried between kisses when I was fully seated inside of her. Bella wrapped her legs around my waist, pulling me in even deeper. I peppered Bella's face with kisses, basking in the ecstasy of it all. "Bella, I love you so much. This feels so good. Do you realize that right now, we are truly one? In every way?" Bella nodded and smiled. "God, you have never been more beautiful than you are right now." I buried my head in her neck and just breathed it all in. I wanted to stay that way forever.

"Edward…you can…um…move now if you want to…" Bella whispered in my ear.

I was suddenly mortified. I was so caught up in just being inside of Bella, that it completely slipped my mind that there was more to it, that I was supposed to be doing something. I groaned in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Bella, I just…" It was Bella's turn to cut me off with a kiss.

"It's alright, Edward. It feels wonderful to me, too, just being here like this. But you want to move. Trust me. It'll feel even better." She kissed me again and put her hands on my hips, pushing slightly to show me she wanted me to pull back. I moaned from the delicious friction I felt. When all but my tip had been removed from her, Bella pulled on my hips and following her lead, I thrust back inside of her. My head flung back and I grunted in pleasure. A few more strokes and Bella released my hips, her hands finding a resting spot on the back of my shoulder blades. I built a slow and steady rhythm, carefully gauging Bella's reaction to each movement I made. I wanted to go harder, faster, but I couldn't chance it. As if her body were perfectly in tune with mine, Bella begged me for the very thing I needed most.

"More, baby, please. Harder…" I complied and the building pressure in my abdomen increased immediately.

"Bella, I'm not going to last long," I warned her, afraid she would be disappointed, but there was no way I could hold it in much longer. I felt as though my entire body were going to explode like a supernova.

"Me either…come with me," Bella begged as her muscles tightened and throbbed around me from her orgasm. My hips thrust into her once more, hard, as I came, grunting her name. Exhausted for the first time in my vampiric life, I collapsed next to her and pulled her flush to me, sighing in contentment as she kissed my shoulder, neck, and chest with tiny kisses. I looked down at her hand on my chest, my mother's wedding ring shimmering in the light, and felt the irresistible urge to pick her hand up and kiss the ring and the finger it rested upon. She had my mother's ring, she had my heart, and I had just willingly given her my virginity. I had never been happier. Surely God would forgive me for relinquishing my virtue to Bella out of wedlock, but even if the day came when I would burn in hell for it, I would look the devil in the eye and say it was worth it.

Bella looked up at me with victorious pride. "You did it!" I thought about what just happened. I made love to Bella, and it was everything I thought it would be and more.

"I did, didn't I?" I shook my head, not fully believing that it was real. I chuckled and kissed her. "Thank you, love, for letting me share that with you, for giving me that gift. It was a moment that I will cherish forever."

"As will I," Bella replied with a smile. "It was you who gave me a gift, one that I'm sorry I could not return." Bella's eyes turned down, sadness overtaking the joy from a moment before.

"None of that, angel. In an odd way, it probably was a good thing that I wasn't your first. I was able to put my trust in you and your experience. Your confidence gave me courage that I don't think I would have had otherwise." Bella's smile returned and she stretched to kiss me, her naked body rubbing against me as she did. Instantaneously, I needed her. Again. I was quite certain I would need her forever.

"Think we have time to do it again?" I asked as my hand snaked its way around to fondle her breast once more.

**A/N: NCBs are heading for South Africa! Wonder where the Cullendales will go on that side of the pond? It's up to you! Oh, and please, don't send me 'Bella is a whore' reviews. I appreciate that she is a flawed character. She's supposed to be. She's made mistakes, but she's not a slut. Really. Hey, think we can hit 5k this chapter? After all, no-longer-Virginward deserves a little something-something, right? Love you guys!!! **


	31. Chapter 30: Duet

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own my OCs, this storyline, and three swords. Be afraid. LOL**

**A/N: Wow! Thank you so much! That was my second most reviewed chapter ever, only behind the epilogue of ALIR by a handful! In thanks (and because I'm way behind in review and PM replies), I've added Edward's POV to the end of this chapter.**

**Thanks to readingtime and my peep Jill for helping me out with this chapter. You'll have to let me know when I make the list, Jill. It's become my new goal in life. Theme song is I'm Yours by Jason Mraz.**

**Two more of my reading selections have reached 1000+ reviews - Golden Moon and Vampire in the Basement! You guys rock! Reading selection for this update is The Fallout by OCD Indeed. I am so in love with this intriguing story. This highly intelligent, post-apocalyptic story is set after Edward left in New Moon. Edward wants to help his family one last time before committing suicide in the hopes of finding Bella on the other side. This story sucks you in and you find yourself holding your breath the entire time you're reading. It is, of course, on my favorites list.**

**Jasper's POV**

No sooner had we got back to the house then the girls jumped into Alice's Porsche and took off to go shopping. The memory of Heidi's scent still swirled around in my brain. I couldn't understand it. It was heady, intoxicating. While she was around me, it was almost as if I could focus on nothing else. I shook my head to try and clear it and showed Felix inside.

I discovered that Felix was an interesting character. Part of me really wanted to like him; he had a great sense of humor and seemed to enjoy life so much more than your average vampire. He was almost effervescent in his joy. It was hard not to smile in his presence. Another part of me hated him, really hated him, for lusting after Bella. Of course, I got the impression that there were few women in the world that he _didn't_ lust after, but he seemed to have taken a special liking to Bella.

"Edward's a very lucky man, is he not? Bella is by far the most enchanting human I have ever met. I believe there is a real spitfire hiding behind that shy veneer. It would be most amusing to see it come to the surface. I for one cannot wait to see what she is like as a vampire. She will be glorious!" Felix plopped himself on the couch, looking quite relaxed.

"I'm sure she will be," I replied as nonchalantly as I could muster.

"When they were in Italy, she looked a mess, clothes in disarray, sweat pouring from her, stumbling and tripping over air. But she was beautiful at the same time, and smelled so delicious that it was almost impossible not to just take her right there and then; make love to her while I drank her sweet wine. My first impression of Edward was that he did not deserve one such as she. But when I saw her stand before my masters; she was so brave, so loyal and true. Suddenly, I found myself not wanting to drink her, but wanting to protect her, at all costs. I was honestly surprised that Aro chose me for this mission. He had seen from my thoughts that I have been quite preoccupied with her for quite some time. I don't think I've had a meal since they left that wasn't brunette. I am still not sure Edward deserves her. I would be more than happy to show her what a real man could do for her. I would strip away her bashfulness as I stripped away her clothes, release the goddess within."

My anger was bubbling beneath the surface. "Leave. Bella. Alone," I growled.

Felix eyed me suspiciously, raising one eyebrow. "I see I am not the only one who feels oddly protective of Bella. Or is there more to it than that?"

"She is family. You will find we are ALL protective of Bella." The best lies are seeded in truth, after all. I withheld a sigh as I felt Felix's suspicion die off.

"Ah, yes. I can see that. Your Alice was quite protective of Bella in Italy as well. She is a feisty little sprite, that one." A slight spike in his lust confirmed my earlier assessment. He was a regular Casanova.

"Yes, she is. I would suggest you leave her alone as well," I said through gritted teeth, letting the venom flow freely in my voice this time.

"No worries, my friend," Felix chuckled, "I have no intentions of wiling your love away." _Like hell you don't. You just don't know it._

The girls walked in just then, saving me from making a big mistake. I could not have taken much more of that conversation without cracking. Heidi's scent stunned me the moment she walked in the door, even stronger than before. I found myself staring at her, breathing deeply, trying to understand its draw. Perhaps this was her ability? Maybe this was how she 'fished' so successfully. I glanced at Felix and Alice, but both seemed to be unaffected. Heidi was chatting merrily with Alice about the new house they were renting and how excited she was that it was available for immediate occupancy. She certainly didn't seem to be intentionally targeting me. The scent of wildflowers pulled me a few steps closer to her, until I was standing right next to her.

Heidi turned to me then, smiled at me, then turned back to Alice. I noticed, though, that she was breathing just as deeply as I was. Alice grabbed me by the elbow, pulling me away. When she met my body's natural resistance to leaving that scent, she pinched me, getting my attention. "Jazz, I need to see you for a minute, please?"

"Yes, dear," I replied as I reluctantly followed her upstairs to her bedroom.

"Cut it out! You're going to ruin everything," she whispered low enough that even they couldn't hear.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. Heidi."

"What do you see, Alice? Do you know why she smells so good to me? It is as though she has me under some sort of spell. I can't focus when I'm around her. It's driving me mad."

"It's no spell, you idiot. You smell just as good to her, too. But, Jasper, you can't do anything about it. Every time I see you decide to approach her about it, everything disappears. I don't know what that means, but it doesn't seem good."

I would have asked her more questions, but we heard Felix and Heidi arguing downstairs. They were having a heated debate about hunting animals while they were here. Felix was still not thrilled with the idea, while Heidi firmly believed that it was the right decision. I tried to send them both some calming waves to diffuse the situation. Felix relaxed considerably. Heidi, on the other hand, was completely unaffected. I tried harder, well past the stage where it would have put Bella to sleep. Nothing.

Alice gasped, "Oh. My. Goodness. She's your singer!" Alice could barely contain her enthusiasm. I however, was not convinced.

I scoffed at her. "Alice, there's no way she's my singer. By definition, she would have to be human for that to be true."

"Okay, well then she would have been your singer if she were human. She smells incredibly good to you, you're inexplicably drawn to her, and your powers have no affect on her. How else would you explain it? And I'll bet if you were human, you would have been her singer, too." Alice's eyes clouded up and I could tell the wheels were spinning as she tried scenario after scenario until she got the result she was looking for. Finally she sighed, defeated.

"I can't figure it out. Every time I see you telling her what we've discovered, everything goes blank. You can't tell her. I know it will be hard to do, but she thinks we're still together, and it needs to stay that way."

"That's not a problem, Alice. It's not like I'm in love with her. I love Bella. I just like the way Heidi smells, that's all."

Alice acted as if she didn't hear a word I said. "You can be friends with her, though. I don't foresee a problem with that. She needs a friend right now, and you two have a lot in common."

I rolled my eyes at her, frustrated. "Come on, let's go downstairs. I really need to hunt." I didn't wait to see if Alice was following me as I headed back for the living room. I made a point to keep my distance from Heidi and her all-too-appealing scent.

"I'm going to go hunting. You are both more than welcome to join me if you like." I looked back and forth between them. Heidi jumped up, excited.

"I'll be right back. Just let me get changed." She grabbed one of the bags she had brought in and followed Alice upstairs so she could show her where to change.

"I think I'll sit this one out," Felix replied, wanting to avoid what he was sure would be an unpleasant experience for as long as possible. "I just fed this morning. I would rather get settled in our new home and then I have some things to do." I was certain those 'things' included spying on Edward and Bella. Oddly enough, I found I kind of liked the idea of Felix doing surveillance. It would keep them from being intimate. Our little rendezvous in the park aside, Bella was far from an exhibitionist. She was thrilled with the Hotel Edward arrangement Alice came up with because it meant that Alice and Adrian would not be able to hear us, nor would we be subjected to hearing them. Plus I had a feeling that Felix would give me a full report if he were to catch them doing something that interested him.

Heidi came down just then, although if it weren't for the overwhelming aroma of wildflowers, I might have doubted it was her. She had taken off all her makeup, pulled her mahogany hair up into a simple ponytail, and was wearing an Ohio State t-shirt, blue jeans, and tennis shoes. She was dazzling.

"I'm ready if you are!" she said enthusiastically. I looked behind her to Alice, who was standing on the stairs smirking.

"Are you coming?" I asked as Alice walked around Heidi to stand next to me.

"No, thanks, Jazz. I'm not that hungry. You enjoy!" she replied sweetly. I could take a hint. That was code for 'get the hell out of here and take them with you so I can go see Adrian.' I wrapped my arms around her and bent down to give her a quick kiss to keep up the façade. It was odd; I expected to feel something when we had to kiss again. I wasn't sure what. Familiarity maybe? A spark of what once was? But instead it just felt…strange. Like I was kissing my sister. I could tell by her emotions that she felt the same way. It wasn't like Edward and Bella, falling back so easily into the way it used to be. I looked in her eyes, my hands on her hips, her arms around my neck and realized that we were just now, in this moment, saying goodbye. I gave her a soft smile and bent down to whisper in her ear, "I love you, Alice." She hugged me in reply and I held her tight to me.

Felix cleared his throat, disrupting the moment that I was certain he interpreted as something other than what it was. He made his farewells, kissing both Heidi and Alice on each cheek before making his escape.

I opened the door and motioned for Heidi to go ahead of me. "After you, ma'am." Heidi giggled, obviously not used to Southern hospitality, as she walked through the door.

"Have fun, you two!" Alice called after us as we took off running.

When we got to the woods, I paused and let Heidi find a scent for us to follow. She wrinkled her nose a bit when she smelled a deer nearby, but went after it anyway. She crouched and attacked much like a newborn would, with little grace and making quite a mess. I took down a deer of my own, then we found a spot by a babbling brook to sit.

"So how did I do?" she asked as she sat down next to me and began tossing small stones skipping across the water.

"You did great for your first time. How do you think you did?" I couldn't really sense her emotions and it was frustrating to say the least.

"I'm proud of myself, I guess, although I'm embarrassed I made such a mess of it. Feeding on humans does not require you to flex your jaw so far open. Most of the time, it doesn't even require an attack. And the blood was bitter, not sweet like I'm used to, but it was worth it to not have to deal with the guilt that usually follows." I might not be able to feel her emotions, but I could hear her sense of accomplishment in her voice. It made me smile.

"It will take time, but you do get used to it after a while. You don't like being a fisher, do you?"

"No, I don't," she said bitterly. "I was turned against my will for my beauty, to be bait for our prey. Can you imagine how it feels to be personally responsible for the demise of thousands? Not just the ones I fed on, but all the ones the Volturi killed as well. I have held little girl's hands, dressed up like princesses in their pink costumes with banana curls and plastic tiaras in their hair because they want to be the first in line to see the castle, knowing full well that it is not Prince Charming they will meet when the enter those gates. I have seduced countless men who thought they were going to have a one night stand they would remember for the rest of their lives, only to find they were no more than cattle being led to the slaughter. I am a black widow. I am the Angel of Death. And I hate it. But it is the only life I've ever known, and I have been too much of a coward to walk away and delve into the unknown. This is the first opportunity I've had at another life, however temporary it may be, and I want to make the most of it."

Without thinking, I reached out and took her hand. "I was a soldier when I was changed against my will. I was forced to kill as well, humans and newborns alike, in a madwoman's quest for power. I believed her when she told me that there was no other way for our kind. Like you, I was too afraid to leave, believing the devil I knew was better than the devil I didn't. But eventually I found the strength. It was hard at first, but I'm happy I made the change. My life is so much better now. Yours can be, too. You are not their slave. You can choose to stay here if you wish. We would help you build a new life for yourself." I squeezed her hand encouragingly, and she smiled a sad smile before removing her hand from mine.

"If only it were that easy. They would never let me go. I had thought when they brought the human, Gianna, into our folds that perhaps she could be their fisher, but she has been there over two years now and they have not turned her yet. Every day she gets older and less suitable for the role. I fear that she may be no more than a future meal for them after all."

"Well, there's no reason to worry about that at the moment. You're here now; relax and enjoy it. It seems as though you will be with us for a while, that gives us time to come up with a solution if that is your wish."

"It is. Thank you, Jasper. Alice is a very lucky lady to have you in her life." I don't know why, but she sounded sad about that. I felt bad having to lie to her. It left a pit in my stomach that I couldn't explain.

"Well, now I'm in your life, too. If you ever need a friend, you know who to talk to." She smiled again and I smiled back. We continued our easy conversation, talking about our pasts and our dreams for the future, until we saw the sun beginning to rise. Wistfully, I hopped up and held out my hand to help her up. "Come on. It's your first day of school. I'm sure you will want to change into something a little less bloodstained before we go." Heidi looked down at herself and laughed, still sounding a little embarrassed as she took my hand and stood. We ran back to the house in peaceful silence, each of us content to have made a new friend.

**Edward's POV**

"Think we have time to do it again?" I asked as my hand snaked its way around to fondle her breast once more. Bella wiggled out of my grasp laughing and jumped out of the bed, making her breasts bounce in a most delightful way. She had a devilish grin on her face when she grabbed my hand and dragged me to follow her.

"Come on, I want to get a shower in peace while I still can," she said. "Care to join me?"

"God, yes," I sighed happily. She chuckled at my enthusiasm as she started the water and stepped in. If there was anything more beautiful than Bella naked, it was Bella naked…and wet. I was entranced as I watched her tilt her head back under the spray to wet her hair, the movement pushing her breasts out, begging my attention. I watched as the water droplets ran from her neck to her chest, some dripping from her nipples while others ran between them, down her abdomen, around her navel and lower. I had no idea how long I had been staring at her when she interrupted my thoughts.

"Are you just going to stand there and watch, or are you coming in?" Bella smirked at me, clearly enjoying the befuddled state she had me in. I stepped inside the shower and closed the glass door. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I wasn't prepared for the intensity of Bella's scent. It was magnified tenfold; the heat and steam from the shower made her blood sing to me stronger than ever before, stronger even then the first day of Biology. My fists clenched, my knuckles white as the bones threatened to emerge from my stony flesh. I held my breath and my entire body started shaking. Get out of here! Leave! my mind screamed, whether at myself or Bella I wasn't sure, but it didn't matter, because I didn't dare speak. I couldn't move. I was literally frozen with fear. I stared at Bella, her eyes closed and her head thrown back under the water, exposing her neck in a very tantalizing and dangerous way. Just one sip. No! After a moment, she looked at me and the shock on her face told me that it had registered in her mind what was happening to me.

Bella turned the hot water all the way down, never taking her eyes off of me, as if that would save her. She backed into the corner of the shower and waited patiently for my internal battle to wage against itself to one conclusion or the other. Blessedly, as the steam dissipated, so did the bloodlust. My senses slowly returned to me, and I held up my hands and smiled at her to show her I was okay again. She approached me slowly, cautiously. I couldn't tell you how long we had been standing there, I was certain it was the better part of an hour. Bella's body had become chilled, goosebumps covered her flesh, and her nipples were hard and puckered. Bella turned the hot water up again, just a hair, so that it was lukewarm instead of freezing, and placed her hands on my forearms, willing them to hang loosely by my sides. She pointed at the built-in bench and commanded "Sit." She seemed to know exactly what I needed. She was going to take control, take care of me. Distract me before I started the familiar self-loathing that always followed an episode of bloodlust.

I did as she instructed and she switched to the hand held shower head so she could wet my hair before pouring a handful of shampoo. She worked it into my hair with both hands, her fingertips massaging my scalp. I purred from the unbelievable pleasure I took in something so simple and pure. I caressed the outside of her thighs from her knees to her hips with just my fingertips so as not to scare her, and laid my forehead on her stomach as she rinsed the shampoo from my hair and worked in some conditioner. I breathed in the fragrance of Bella's arousal deeply, allowing my desire for her body to push out everything else.

"Stand."

I stood before her, my hands at my sides, and raked in her glorious beauty as she lathered some bodywash in her bare hands. She started at my shoulders, slowly washing and massaging each arm, right down to my fingertips before washing my chest. She put more soap on her hands before dropping to her knees to wash my legs.

"Bella…" I said hesitantly. She looked entirely too good in that position, and I felt guilty for the lascivious thoughts that ran through my mind. She ignored me entirely, continuing to clean and massage one leg, paying special attention to my foot and toes before moving on to the other leg. She was very careful to not touch between my legs until she stood up again. She locked her gaze with mine as she slowly caressed and cleaned me with her soapy smooth hand. I bit the inside of my lip as she brought me to the cusp of utopia before releasing me and rinsing me off gently.

"Turn."

I slowly turned and faced the wall with the built in bench, the silver towel rack at eye level in front of me.

"Spread your legs a little and hold onto the towel rack," Bella said softly. "Don't let go."

She took her time cleaning my shoulders and back, using more strength than I thought she possessed. My muscles twitched involuntarily as she worked her way down to my gluts, reaching between my legs to caress my testicles briefly from behind before continuing down the back of my legs. I felt the spray rinse me all over, paying special attention to the area between my legs, the force of the water sending pleasurable shivers throughout my body. When she took the water away I started to let go of the bar and turn around, but Bella stopped me.

"Not yet," she whispered as she ducked under my arm and sat down on the bench. I looked down at her, my wet hair dangling in my face and dripping onto hers as she looked up and smiled at me. "Don't let go," she repeated. My brow furrowed in question. "Trust me."

"Always, Bella. I'm yours, I trust you, but..."

Without giving me a chance to further protest, Bella leaned forward and licked a drop of water from the tip of my member before taking me into her mouth. The instant plethora of sensations besieged me. It wasn't just the heat or the moisture. It wasn't just her lips, soft and tight around me, or her fingers gripping me and moving in sync with her mouth. I could feel every single taste bud on her tongue as it licked and flicked and teased me to the precipice of insanity. I squeezed the towel rack, leaving indentations of my fingers in the soft metal as I struggled to keep still. "Ugh…baby…so good…" I pulled away from her when my erection started to twitch. "Please, baby, let me come inside of you," I panted. "I _need_ to be inside you."

Bella stood and I wrapped my arms around her, grabbing her buttocks and lifting her up to wrap her arms and legs around me as I turned us to face the adjacent wall, pinning Bella to it before sliding inside of her. Bella lowered her head onto my shoulder as I released her with one hand. Running purely on instinct, I toyed with her nipples before reaching lower to caress her clit with my thumb. I wasn't going to last long, and I wanted it to be good for her as well.

Luckily for me, she didn't last long either, and it took only a few strokes before she climaxed just as I exploded within her. I closed my eyes and muttered an expletive I was quite ashamed of as I hugged her tight to me and rode out both our orgasms. We stayed there for the longest time. I relished the contractions and quivers around me in the aftermath of Bella's orgasm and delighted in just being joined with her this way. When Bella started to shiver from the cold, I reluctantly set her down.

"I'm going to get out so you can turn the water temperature back up and get cleaned off. When you're finished, I'll have some warm towels fresh from the dryer for you." I kissed her, just touching my lips to hers. "Next time I get to wash you, alright?" She blushed and nodded her head at me. "I love you, my Bella."

"As I do you," she replied softly. I stepped out of the shower and dried quickly, wrapping a towel around my waist before grabbing a couple of fresh towels from the linen closet and tossing them in the dryer on the highest setting.

As soon as Bella turned off the water, I hurried back with the hot towels and dried her off with one, then discarded it and wrapped her up in the second one.

"Come lay with me, please? I need to talk," I told her. Bella and I discarded our towels and cuddled under the covers on the bed before she replied.

"What's wrong, Edward?" Bella asked, concern lacing her voice.

"Nothing's wrong. I wanted to thank you for helping me with the thirst for one thing. I was so scared."

Bella put her hand on my cheek. "No worries, Edward. I should have thought of that ahead of time. I'm sorry it was difficult for you."

"Difficult, but worth it. Next time we'll just need to keep the water temperature down, or turn on the fan or open the windows or perhaps all of the above. We'll figure it out."

"Next time, huh? I take it you liked that?" Bella smiled smugly and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Is it terrible of me to admit how much I enjoyed that? It feels wrong to me somehow, that I was so turned on by…that." This was really what I wanted to discuss with her. I didn't want to demean or use her in any way.

"Edward, please don't let your 1918 sensibilities ruin an experience that was highly enjoyable for both of us. It did not belittle me in any way. I did it for no other reason than that I liked doing it, and it made me happy that it gave you so much pleasure." Sometimes it seemed as though Bella was the one with the mind reading abilities. Or maybe it's just that she can see straight through to my soul. Either way, she said the exact thing I needed to hear exactly when I needed to hear it.

"Thank you, my love. I'm glad you enjoyed it, too." I kissed the top of her head and she hummed, already drifting off to sleep. It wasn't long before I heard Felix's thoughts as he took up roost in one of the trees behind our house, lamenting about how ridiculous he thought the orders of 24 hour surveillance were and how he detested getting dirty. With Bella deep in sleep, I slid out from under her and went into the living room before speaking softly aloud.

"Felix, if you can be quiet about it, you can come in. There's no use in being perched in a tree branch all night listening to me read and Bella sleep."

"Thank the gods," he whispered back before jumping down and walking quietly through the front door. We sat and played cards quietly most of the night until Bella started to stir. Felix, respecting our need for privacy as much as possible and admitting that he considered us to be a low flight risk, excused himself before Bella woke and headed for his house to get cleaned up and changed himself. We made plans to meet at The Oval on campus in an hour.

Bella and I got ready quickly. We both wanted to get to campus as quickly as possible. If we made it to school before Felix, maybe it would prove to him that we weren't going anywhere and he didn't have to keep watch over us like some sort of animals on display at the zoo. Bella and I were walking to our usual picnic table hand-in-hand when I heard Felix's thoughts. Actually, they weren't even thoughts, more like discombobulated sentence fragments and mental growls. I jerked my head towards the direction the thoughts were coming from and panicked.

"Kelly!"

**A/N: See what happens when my readers are so good to me? They get lemons! If I get another 300 reviews, I'll have to write another one in the very near future. The Cullendale show is playing to a sold out crowd in Johannesburg and then heading to Athens, Greece. Don't forget to request your VIP passes to claim your lap dance!**


	32. Chapter 31: Welcome to Manhood

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own this storyline, my OCs, and the complete Speed Racer cartoon series on DVD. I heart Racer X.**

**A/N: Thanks to the betatastic readingtime. This chapter, hell, this whole story, is dedicated to my Fab 5. They know who they are. They get random sneak peaks to curb my fears, keep me honest, and offer me a porch swing and a chocolate martini anytime I need to get away. Love you guys.**

**Song selection for this chapter is Low Rider, by War. Reading selection this week is a trip to the dark side. It is called The Training School by TheSpoiltOne. If you love The Perfect Wife, you'll love this one. 'Nuff said. Be sure and put her on author alert. There are actually two, soon to be three, separate stories that intermingle to create this saga. It's on my favorites list. **

**Don't forget to vote for the Twi-Fi Awards! And if you haven't read DefinitelyStaying's nominated stories, you don't know what you're missing. They're on my favs list, too. **

**Jasper's POV**

When we got back to the house, Alice was already gone but she had set clothes out for Heidi. Heidi quickly changed. Bella had the truck, and Alice had the Porsche, leaving me with only the motorcycle. I gave Heidi my helmet, which she wore for appearance alone, and we headed for campus. It was a different feeling having a vampire on the back of the bike instead of Bella. It wasn't unpleasant, just different. Bella knew how to lean into the turns, and she was so light that if not for her heat, I could probably forget she was there. Heidi, on the other hand, gripped my sides with iron fists and didn't lean properly, making it a little more difficult for me to navigate. I would have loved to be able to sense her emotions, find out if she was enjoying it or was just scared silly, but I could sense absolutely nothing from her.

When we got to campus and I parked the bike, I got my answer. She was beaming. I chuckled and shook my head. "You've never ridden a motorcycle, have you?"

"No. It was exhilarating, I loved it!"

"I'm glad. Come on, I'll walk you to the administrative building, then I've got to get to class. What are you going to major in?"

"I won't be here long enough to actually get a degree, but Alice told me I could just list 'undecided' and take whatever classes I wanted, so I think I'm going to do that. I'd like to take some art classes, maybe a history class."

"Why don't you take American History with me? You're going to start out behind in all your classes, I could help you get caught up," I suggested.

"That sounds like a great idea! Thanks!" We saw Bella and Edward walking hand-in-hand and headed towards them. So far there was no sign of Alice or Felix. I felt a tsunami wave of lust rush over me and pivoted on my heel in a circle, trying to figure out where it was coming from. At the same time, Edward's head shot in the direction of a space between two buildings. I followed his line of sight to see Felix with a girl against the wall, running his fingers seductively through strawberry blonde hair. So much for only liking brunettes.

"Kelly!" Edward and I yelled at the same time, running at the fastest human speed possible to reach them just as Felix was curling back his lips to bite her. Edward pulled Felix away from her and threw him against the other wall, pinning him there and rendering him immobile. I took Kelly in my arms, inspecting her neck for damage before looking in her eyes. She was pissed.

"Just what do you two think you're doing?" she asked, clearly annoyed at our interference. Lust was still rolling from her in waves. Felix, on the other hand, was chuckling, amusement oozing from him.

"Felix, I think you should say goodbye to Kelly now, don't you? You can talk to her later. We've got to get you registered for class. Right?" Edward asked through gritted teeth. He then lowered his voice below Kelly's hearing range. "I will NOT let you kill her."

Felix sighed. "Yes, Edward, I suppose you are correct. Beautiful Kelly, it was an honor to meet you. Hopefully we will meet again very soon." I led Kelly reluctantly in the opposite direction before she had time to reply.

"Are you going to explain to me what that was about?"

"Felix is a one of the friends we were telling you about. He's a player, Kelly. He's not the type of man you should get involved with."

"Who I get involved with is none of your concern, Jasper. I didn't appreciate you and Edward going all Neanderthal on me. It wasn't like I was going to bang him in the middle of The Oval. He just…I don't know."

"Dazzled you?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yes, I guess that's a good word for it. He dazzled me. When I was standing there, all I could think of was that I'm attracted to him. I want to get to know him better."

"Well, don't." I was being short tempered and rude and I knew it, but she didn't understand that we had just saved her life, and I couldn't tell her that.

"Who do you think you are, my brother?" Kelly asked, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Close enough," I smirked. I took her by the elbows and turned her to me. "Please, Kelly, just trust me on this one? Felix is bad news."

"Thanks for the warning, Jasper, but I think I'll decide for myself who is good or bad for me." Kelly turned on her heel and walked away in a huff. If we couldn't get Kelly to stay away from Felix, we would just have to get Felix to stay away from her. Judging by his powerful emotions, however, that might be easier said than done.

Felix and Edward headed back over to us after she left. I could tell Edward was just as pissed as I was. "What the hell, Felix?"

"What? Am I not allowed to woo a beautiful woman?"

"That beautiful woman happens to be my niece. She is not going to be your breakfast or your conquest. Got it?"

Bella gasped in surprise. "Your niece?" I turned to Bella and prayed I was doing a good enough job keeping my longing for her from showing on my face.

"Yes, she found letters that I had written to my mother during the war in her parent's attic. She doesn't suspect anything, and luckily there were no pictures. She just thinks that her ancestor having the same first name as me is a very cool coincidence."

"Well, in a way she's right," Bella mused. "It is a pretty cool coincidence." I laughed a little at that.

"Well, under the circumstances, Jasper, I will promise you that I will abstain from drinking her. However, I will tell you now I have every intention of making her my next conquest. Your _niece_ is of age, and quite ravishing. I think she would make for a wonderful distraction while I am here."

"Hurt her and you will deal with us," Edward warned, to which Felix tipped his head in acknowledgement and smiled. "Come, Heidi, let's get signed up for classes, shall we? Then perhaps we can find an empty classroom somewhere and have a little fun. I've had a fantasy for quite some time about you bent over a desk." I growled under my breath.

Heidi smacked him. Hard. "You had your chance, what, forty years ago? As good as the sex was, I have no interest in dealing with you hiding from me for weeks afterward, afraid I wanted some kind of commitment."

"Ah, my sweet! That's what I adore about you. You understand me!" Felix teased as they headed up the stairs and into the building together.

With everyone else gone, I focused my attention on Edward and Bella. They were both laughing and shaking their head at Felix. They were both so relaxed. It wasn't just the calm façade, either. It went much deeper than that. I'd never felt Edward so at ease. It was the kind of tranquility I'd only ever felt from Bella… after we'd made love. Bella was equally relaxed.

"What the fuck?!" I growled at them, and they turned on a dime to look at me. Edward took a step between Bella and me.

"Jasper, calm down."

"Calm down? Calm down?! You had sex with Bella and you have the nerve to tell me to calm down!" The only thing keeping me from lunging at him was the fact that we were in a public place and I was already drawing attention. I clenched my fists and tried to get control of myself.

Bella stepped around Edward and took me by my elbow. "Come on, Jasper, let's go for a walk." She turned back at Edward, who looked concerned. "He won't hurt me, Edward. I'll meet you in class." She gave him a soft smile and he reluctantly nodded his head and walked off.

"Did you?" I asked as we started walking aimlessly, hoping against hope that I was wrong. I reached down for her hand and was thankful when she didn't pull away.

"Yes, Jasper, I did. Please keep in mind that I didn't cheat on you. We're not together anymore. I'm not sorry I did it, but I am sorry you found out the way that you did. I didn't mean for you to figure it out before I had a chance to tell you."

"Don't you remember our secret code, Bella? I can tell when people are sexually frustrated or have had a release. By Edward's current state, I'd say he's had several."

Bella hung her head and took a deep breath, putting up her calm front as we walked. "That's true. He has. I'm not going to lie to you, but I'm not going to go into detail, either. This is why I thought it best that we break up. I don't want to hurt you. I told you I was confused and that all my feelings for Edward were resurfacing."

"Bella, do you still love me?" She stopped dead in her tracks and turned to look me in the eye.

"Yes, Jasper, of course I do!" Her voice lowered again when she asked "Do you think, though, that perhaps this all happened for a reason? That maybe we weren't meant to be forever?"

"What do you mean, Bella?"

"Well, think about it. I have learned and grown so much from my relationship with you. I am a more confident person, more comfortable in my own skin, more able to relax and enjoy life because of you."

"And I've grown from being with you, too, Bella. Your trust in me has helped me to trust in myself. You've helped me forgive myself for the sins of my past, reconnected me with my humanity. But I still don't understand what you're getting at. What would that have to do with forever?"

"It always seemed to me that some greater force brought us together. Fate, maybe. But now, it's as though that same thing is pulling us apart. Maybe we were drawn to each other because we needed to help one another, and now that we've done that, it's time to take those lessons and move on. Perhaps fate has other plans for us."

"No, Bella, I refuse to believe that. I love you and you love me. I know you love Edward, too. I'm well aware that the heart has the capacity to love more than one person at a time. But you and I have been through too much to give up now, just because the road seems too steep."

"I don't think it's that the road is too steep. I don't think that it's just that we're not trying hard enough. I think…" Bella's voice cracked and faltered.

"You think that it's over," I whispered. Bella nodded her head.

"Bella, look at me." She didn't move. "Look at me!" She turned her head to me and I noticed that even though she was incredibly sad and filled with guilt, there were no tears.

"I know this is going to be hard for you to hear, but I want to be with Edward. For real, not just pretend. I have given it a lot of thought, and I want to give our relationship the second chance that I think it deserves," Bella blurted out.

"Fine. Find out for yourself if he's grown and learned as much as you have. If he can be your everything. Because I doubt that the answer to either of those questions is 'yes.' I will take a step back and be your friend, your brother, as I promised you I would be. But know this, Bella. When the threat of the Volturi is gone, I _will_ fight for you."

"Jasper…" she called but I had already turned around and walked away. I needed some advice, or at least someone I could vent to. I decided to call Emmett.

"I don't really care, Rosie. Like I give a shit about the difference between eggshell and cream! Get whichever, or get both, it doesn't matter to me…Hello?"

"Hey, Emm," I said dejectedly.

"Hey, Jazz! You've got perfect timing! Rose is killing me with all this shopping. What's up?"

"Bella went back to Edward."

"Yeah, I know. Carlisle filled us in. But it's only temporary, man."

"No, Emm. I mean, she broke up with me. She wants to give Edward a second chance. She said she loves me, but she never really stopped loving him. Emmett, she slept with him."

"Whoa! Seriously? I mean, I'm sorry man. Really I am. But, Dude, are you really surprised? She's around him 24/7 now. That had to stir up the old feelings. He's never gotten over her, and she's never gotten over him, either. Everyone has always known that, even you. Not to say that you two weren't great together, because you were. Edward was a royal idiot back then and drove her straight to you, and I didn't blame her. And hell, I saw you smile more in your time with Bella than I'd seen you smile in all the time I knew you before her combined. But Bella, she's had this sadness hiding under the surface since Edward broke it off so she could be with you. Sure, she loves you, and has fun with you and I'm sure the sex was _GREAT_. But Edward and Bella, they're like hydrogen and oxygen. Their bond is so strong, it's chemical, you know? And now that Edward's finally cashed in his V-card and manned up, I doubt anything could keep them apart, even her love for you. I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, Jazz, but you've got to let her go."

"I can't."

"What do you mean, you can't? Sure you can. You're not like Edward. Bella wasn't the only woman in your life. You had Maria, who was fucked up but you cared for her anyway. Then you had Alice, and I know she said it wasn't meant to last forever, but we all thought it would. Then Bella. And a lot of good things came from being with her, too. But it seems to me as though it is time to concede defeat and move on, bro. There are other women out there for you. When you find your soul mate, you'll know. But it's time to give Edward back his and realize that playtime is over. Hold on, Rosie wants to talk to you. Hang in there, man. We love ya."

There was a pause for a moment before Rose picked up the phone. "Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"Fuck her." There were sounds of a scuffle and Emmett took the phone back.

"Sorry about that. Seems Rose lost her mind there for a moment. You know how she is. So what else is going on?"

"Oh, not much. Felix and Heidi are here and decided to stay all year and spy on us. Felix is trying to sleep with every woman within a 20 mile radius, including a friend of ours who I discovered is actually my niece. Alice believes that Heidi and I would have been each other's singers if we were still human. Heidi wants to quit the Volturi and become a vegetarian. Alice is spending all her time planning a fake wedding and sneaking in Adrian's bedroom window Edward-style. I think that about covers it."

"Man, I'm missing all the fun!"

"Miss you, too, Emm. Thanks for listening, even if you are a dickhead."

"Love you, too, bro. Call me anytime you want to talk, okay?"

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

**Edward's POV**

I hated walking away. It went against every protective instinct I had, but I refuse to make her decisions for her anymore, and if she trusted him not to hurt her, then I had to accept that. But I didn't have to like it. I was so relieved when I saw her jogging my way across The Oval. I ran to meet her half way, afraid she was going to trip and hurt herself, but she didn't. She came right up to me and hugged me tight, her head laying against my chest.

"I told him, Edward," she said without loosening her grip on me.

"Told him what, love?"

"I told him that I wanted to be with you. That I wanted to give us a second chance." She looked up at me then, smiling. "That is, if you'll have me."

I picked her up and twirled her over my head with pure, unadulterated joy. "Silly Bella! Of course I'll have you!" I set her down and nuzzled my nose in her hair to whisper in her ear. "If you want, I'd love to _have you_ right now. I think Felix may have had the right idea…there's got to be an empty classroom around here somewhere we could use."

"Edward!" Bella was wide eyed with shock, and I just laughed, carefree at last.

"Later, tiger. That is, if we don't have Felix or Heidi on Stalker Patrol. I've got to get to class, and so do you. Meet you back here in an hour?"

"I can't wait. I love you, Bella." I gave her a soft kiss and she hummed against my lips.

"Mmmm…love you, too. Have fun in music!" I watched as she walked away, admiring how amazing her butt looked in those jeans. Bella was right. She created a monster, although in this instance I'm not complaining.

I was just about to head to my class when my phone rang.

"Hey, Emmett. What's up?"

"Not much. Just wanted to check in, say hi, see how your fake relationship was going."

I realized this was probably not going to be a short conversation. I wasn't making it to Music today. I ran my free hand through my hair, sat down at a picnic table and made sure Heidi and Felix were not around before I spoke.

"Actually, Emm, it's not really a fake relationship anymore," I could hear the smile in my voice and was sure Emmett could too.

"Really? Whaddya mean?" Emmett asked, almost too innocently.

"Well, Bella and I have been getting much closer since she moved in."

"Closer, as in…_closer_??" I could practically see Emmett wagging his eyebrows over the phone.

"Emmett, that is none of your business! I won't discuss mine and Bella's sex life with you!"

"So you mean you're actually HAVING a sex life? I want details, Eddie!"

"Well…um…actually…yeah." How does he always manage to get me to tell him more than I want him to know?

"Edward! My bro! You're finally a man!! That's great!"

I rolled my eyes at him. "I'll have you know I was a man long before I slept with Bella, Emmett."

"Well, technically, Eddie…dating Rosie Palm and her five sisters doesn't count."

"Emmett, I never! I mean, not until…UGH! Do we _have_ to talk about this?"

"Damn straight we have to talk about it!"

"Why? So you can torture me? Or are you actually going to try and have the birds and bees conversation with me again?"

"Well, if you really want some tips, pointers, suggestions, you know, I'm your man. Rosie and I…"

"Stop! I know all too well the kinds of things that Rosalie and you do. Bella's not like that, Emmett."

"How do you know? You've done it, what? Once? And all of a sudden you're Casanova?"

"Twice, technically, if you must know. I can't believe I'm asking you this, but what things do you think Bella would like? It's really important to me that I…satisfy her."

"Okay, first of all, you gotta make sure you go for the nookie cookie; women love that shit."

I sighed at him. "English, please, Emmett? I don't speak locker room jock."

"Come on dude, you know, you gotta go south, go down, muff dive, meet the clam."

I cringed at his crass choice of words. But more importantly, I was terrified of what he was proposing. I had, unfortunately, seen images of it in people's minds, but I'm certain there is technique involved that came with experience I didn't have. "I don't know how to do that. Do you really think she'd like that? Do you think it would be safe?"

"Eddie, have you bitten her doing... other stuff?"

"Well, obviously I haven't bitten her! Although we have decided no more hot showers together." Slightly above lukewarm showers, however, were still definitely acceptable, I thought with a smile.

"If you can french kiss, you can dine on the pink taco, Eddie." God, where does he pick up all this dirty slang?

"So it's the same principle as kissing her, and you really think she'll like that?" I had to admit the idea of tasting her down there really excited me.

"Dude, she won't like it, she'll LOVE it. Put your fingers inside her, uh, you know, when you do it."

"Okay, Emmett, I'll think about that. Anything else that you think Bella would really like?"

"Well, if you really want to make her moan... is she a screamer?"

"EMMETT!" I wasn't about to tell him how much I loved her screaming my name. I'd never live it down.

"Geez, sorry dude, I was just curious...Anyway, if you really want to make her moan, when your fingers are in her, pull them up towards her belly button, you know, like you are signaling her to 'come here' and trust me on this, bro, she will 'come here' like, on command."

"Thanks for the colorful advice, Emmett. I appreciate it, really."

"What happened in the shower that freaked you out?" His tone had lost all its playfulness. Sincerity and concern were shining through like a beacon. It was what I loved most about Emmett. Underneath the brash exterior was a man with a big heart who passionately loved and protected his entire family. Including Bella.

"Well, we decided to take a shower together, which seemed like a great idea, but the steam made her scent so much more powerful. I had a really hard time with the bloodlust for a few minutes, but then Bella helped me get control and distracted me before I could brood about it."

"I don't understand, Edward. What was going on IN the shower while you were 'showering together'?"

"Bella washed me and...um..."

"If you're a big enough man to do it, you're a big enough man to say it, Eddie. Spit it out…or did she?" Emmett burst into laughter. And just like that the goofball who lived to embarrass me at every turn was back.

"No! I mean, I didn't let it get that far. I couldn't ejaculate in her mouth, that would just be wrong!" Apparently, that was funny because Emmett just laughed harder. "Emmett, I'm not going to talk to you about this if you insist on laughing at me. I'm serious!"

More snickering. "Okay, sorry, dude. I'll try to control it. Seriously, though, your first blow job. That's major. Did you like it? Was she good at it? It's so awesome when they use their teeth, man, I love that!"

"Oh God, yes! It was amazing, and I was surprised that she really seemed to enjoy it."

"Man, I told you, once they get it, they don't want to stop! You just gotta keep experimenting with different stuff. She'll tell you if you do something she doesn't like."

"To be honest, that's the least of my worries. I mean, I'm new to this, you know? How am I supposed to, I don't want to use the word compete, but you know what I mean. My idea of 'experimenting' will probably seem more like inexperienced bumbling to her."

"Everybody has to learn sometime, Eddie."

"True, but that's the point. Bella has already learned."

"So let her teach you. What's the crime in that?"

"Well, that's what I have been doing, but isn't she going to get tired of that quickly?"

"Edward, she loves you, she's not going to get tired of it, but you can't be a damn prude all the time either. You're going to have to step out of your comfort zone and trust her." Emmett was so confident and nonchalant in the way he said 'she loves you.' Like it was the most simple truth in the world. It made me smile.

"I'm trying, Emm, I am, and it's wonderful. But...I've already lost her once because I couldn't meet her needs. I couldn't bear for that to happen again."

"Then meet her needs, Eddie. It's not that difficult."

"Easy for you to say!"

"Edward! I was a virgin once too, you know."

"Yeah, but you didn't have to worry about breaking Rose or draining her dry."

"Dude, if you haven't drained Bella dry yet, you're not going to. You've got nerves of steel man. You don't even understand how much control you have. I don't even think you are capable of hurting her."

"Well, we still managed to make love in the shower after my episode of bloodlust. I guess that's a good thing, right?"

"See? You're not going to hurt her, Eddie."

"Maybe you're right."

"I know I'm right."

"Hey Emm? Why didn't we have this conversation two years ago? It might have saved me a lot of heartache."

"Because you weren't ready to have it two years ago, Edward. You didn't want to hear it. It wasn't for a lack of me trying though!"

"I suppose that might be true. Funny that it took me losing Bella to finally realize I could truly be with her."

"You don't know what you've got until it's gone, dude."

"Ain't that the truth. Speaking of which, I've got to go. Bella should be getting out of class soon. She's freaking out about the Volturi eavesdropping on us all the time, so I'm thinking about taking her out on the bike and seeing if we dodge them for a while."

"Good luck with that, man. It's got to suck having them around all the time, especially when all you want to do is get your freak on."

"You have no idea. I have never wished for privacy more in my life."

"Welcome to the wonderful world of manhood, bro!"

"Very funny, Emm. Thanks for your help."

"No problem, Edward. Talk to you soon!"

After class, Bella and I headed for home. Heidi was waiting for us in the woods behind the house when we got there. I put my finger to my lips to show Bella to be quiet, took her hand, and snuck to the bike. "It's my turn to drive," I mouthed to her as we pushed it down the driveway and hopped on before I kick started it to life. Heidi tried to follow on foot as we sped away, but I headed for downtown where it would be too inconspicuous for her to chase us and she was forced to change course. She was going to have to run back to her house to get the car before she could even think of following us, but by that time we would be long gone.

"She's gone," I yelled over the roar of the engine as we jetted onto the highway. Bella laughed and squeezed me tighter. It wasn't until then that I realized how good this felt. The bike underneath me was powerful, and it was exhilarating to drive it. I could feel the wind in my face much more driving than when I rode with Bella the last time. Plus, the feeling of Bella pressed up against my back, her arms wrapped low around my waist, her thighs rubbing against my hips; there was nothing like it.

We rode that way for hours, past corn fields and horse farms and it was so peaceful, but it was getting close to dinnertime for Bella and we were running low on gas, so I pulled off the highway. Once we slowed down, Bella relaxed her grip, resting her hands right at the crease where my thighs met my hips. It sent bolts of electricity straight to my groin. My erection was straining against my jeans to the point where I struggled to hold back a moan. I couldn't tell you if it was the high from the motorcycle ride, excitement of having lost the Volturi, even if only for a little while, my newfound 'manhood' as Emmett called it, or just the naughty idea of getting a hotel room just to have sex, but something made me pull into the Embassy Suites right off the service road.

Bella's face when I parked the bike was almost worth it in and of itself. It was a mixture of disbelief, mischief, and lust. I grabbed her hand and we practically sprinted inside. Six minutes and thirty seven seconds later, I had Bella up against the full length mirror mounted on the back of the door to our room. Our kisses were rough, frantic. Sexy. Bella and I were peeling each other's clothes off with abandon as we slowly made our way to the bed, tumbling onto it in a mass of entangled limbs. Bella scooted up so her head was on the pillows and I began kissing my way down her torso, stopping, of course, to worship her wonderful breasts. I could smell her arousal as I licked and sucked on her nipples and was thrilled that she was so responsive to my touch. It gave me the burst of confidence I needed to put a few of Emmett's ideas to the test.

I continued my trail of butterfly kisses to her navel, flicking my tongue around her belly button. When I started to kiss lower, Bella gasped and lifted her head up at me in surprise. Not that I blamed her. I was surprised at myself. But then I was eye to eye with her glorious, glistening sex. Glistening with arousal that I caused. Arousal for _me_. And suddenly all of my performance fears faded away, replaced with a burning need to taste her. Lick her. Touch her. I lowered my head and kissed her lower lips chastely and Bella bucked towards me a little, spreading her legs further apart, giving me better access. I licked my tongue up her slit and moaned at the incredible taste of it. Better than blood. Better than anything. I was rewarded with another batch of fluids, which I lapped up greedily. I found Bella's clit with my tongue and ran small circles around it. I lifted her up off the bed with one hand and began teasing her entrance with two fingers of the other.

Bella pushed herself into my fingers, encouraging me to slip them inside her, thrusting and exploring slowly while I continued French kissing her nether lips. As Bella began to make wonderful little sounds and her body began shaking, I remembered Emmett's 'come here' tip. I curled my fingers and found a small patch of flesh that was spongier than the rest, and caressed it with my fingertips. Bella screamed "Edward!" and arched her back high off the bed. Her orgasm was powerful, squeezing my fingers and throbbing rhythmically against my tongue.

I waited until her muscle spasms died down before gently removing my fingers, wiping my face with my sleeve and slinking my way back up her body with a prideful, cocky smirk.

"You're awful proud of yourself, aren't you, Mr. Cullen?" Bella said breathlessly as I kissed her neck and positioned myself at her entrance. Bella shocked me when she turned her head and kissed me deeply. She had to have tasted herself in my mouth, and something about that made my cock twitch. I couldn't wait any longer and slid inside her with a low growl.

Bella wrapped her legs around my waist, making her feel even tighter than before, and I set a quick pace, enjoying each thrust. I was able to last a lot longer this time, enjoying every sensation. Bella's second orgasm was even stronger than the first and I came hard from the feeling of her milking me. "Fuck…Bella," I groaned, collapsing beside her, wrapping my arms around her and kissing the top of her head when she curled her body around me.

"Well, that was fun!" she giggled.

"Most definitely. You are amazing, my Bella," I told her.

"So were you," she said sincerely and I beamed.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes. Really. I wish you wouldn't worry so much. Don't try to deny it, I can see it in your eyes. You're wonderful, and I love everything you do. You do far more than satisfy me. You wear me out!" she said, then her stomach growled. "And make me work up an appetite!"

I sat up regretfully. "I should probably call Felix before he is forced to report to Caius that we're missing in action. Then how about we get you some dinner on the way home."

"I've got a better idea. Let's order me a pizza and stay here a while longer. I'm not ready to leave. Hey! We could call Adrian and Alice, see if they want to join us and hang out for a while."

"That's a great idea, love."

My phone call to Felix was productive. He was much more understanding of the fact that Bella doesn't want them listening in to her human moments, or our private moments, for that matter. I promised him we would meet him outside the stadium before class the next morning and then the four of us would sit down and try to come to a better arrangement to offer Bella and I the privacy we deserve without getting Heidi and Felix in trouble with the Volturi. He was concerned that when Aro reads his memories when they get back, they would have a lot to answer for, which was a fair concern. I heard a girl's voice call to him in the background.

"That better not be Kelly," I warned. Felix laughed.

"No, Kelly will be tomorrow. This little fireball's name is Lacie, and don't tell me she's some long lost relative of yours, because there's no way I'm saying no to this one tonight."

"Just make sure she lives to tell about it in the morning." Felix laughed and with a quick 'Ciao' hung up the phone.

That chore taken care of, Bella called Adrian while I ordered the pizza. When she realized Alice wasn't there yet, she gave him a quick rundown of the wedding plans she'd made so far. He had sent her an email with a few dress designs to get a second opinion and to let Bella pick out which one she wanted. Bella asked him to bring Scrabble with him and told him she had some news for him when they got to the hotel.

"I already know, Bella. I'm engaged to a psychic, remember? Just because she doesn't tell you, doesn't mean that I don't have to deal with all the squealing and jumping up and down for joy. Congratulations, Tinker Bells. At least now I know who to ask to be my best man." She looked like she had just remembered something really important and hurried to get off the phone.

She joined me back on the bed and curled up in my lap, nuzzling her forehead into my neck. "Edward, will you come to England with me?" she asked shyly.

I chuckled and kissed her on her nose. "I thought you'd never ask."

**A/N: The Cullendales are heading back to South Africa to visit Port Elizabeth. Where do you want them to go next? Special thanks to changedbyEdward and JustBiteMePlease for co-writing the Edward/Emmett conversation. No one can channel Emmett better than you guys! This is the point of the story where I remind everyone that I have a Happily Ever After planned for everyone, and probably an alternate ending as well, after the main story is completed, which will probably be 15-20 more chapters.**


	33. Chapter 32: Hello Again

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own this storyline, my OCs, and the Iron Man 3 disc set. Robert Downey Jr. -- sigh.**

**A/N: Music selection for this chapter is "Bella Notte," by Bill Hamlin. Think the spaghetti scene from "Lady and the Tramp." :) I wanted to get this out to you while I had the chance, so this hasn't been officially beta'ed, but the Fab 5 assures me it doesn't suck.**

**Reading selection for this update is Love and Obligation by ForeverYoung 82. This is one of those stories where I don't understand why it has such an embarrassingly low number of reviews. Well, actually, I do understand. It starts out as Edward/Rosalie, and we all know that's just...wrong. In this AU story, Edward makes Rosalie his mate after Carlisle changed her out of a sense of obligation. So what does he do when they move to Forks and he finds himself falling in love with Bella? This story is very well written and has a fascinating and believable plot (just skim past the E/R angry sex lemon in Chapter 12, she makes up for it later). If you find you are enjoying it, do her a favor, try and review every chapter...she deserves a little love. Oh, and Congrats to erinmyu -- Remains to be Seen, which I am proud to beta, just hit the 1k mark! You know where the links are...**

**Felix's POV**

I rolled my eyes as the telephone interrupted my little soiree for the second time this evening. I'd already had to deal with Heidi calling and pitching a holy fit over Edward and Bella's little getaway. If it wasn't for the beautiful Lacie lying half naked in my nice new bed just waiting to break in my new silk sheets, I would have found it rather amusing, but at the moment I really couldn't be bothered.

"Ciao?"

"Felix, it's Edward."

"Yes, Edward. I know why you're calling. You owe Heidi a new pair of shoes, by the way. You're not going to make me buy a Ducati, are you?"

Edward chuckled. "No, I'm not. I was just calling to let you know that we will be back tomorrow. Bella isn't very comfortable addressing her human needs while there is a vampire lurking in the woods listening in. Plus it makes it difficult for us to spend any quality time together that way. Surely you can understand that?" I glanced at the gorgeous brunette with the silken skin and the hourglass figure and sighed. Being interrupted did tend to put a crimp in things.

"Yes, Edward. I can see where you're coming from. And for what it's worth, Heidi and I think it's a waste of time, too. We know you're not going anywhere. But when we return to Italy, the first thing Aro will do is shake our hands, capisca? Listen, why don't we meet up on campus before class tomorrow and see if we can't work out a mutually agreeable compromise?"

"Felix…I'm getting lonely in here all by myself…" my siren called.

"That better not be Kelly," Edward growled, and all I could do was laugh. He is engaged to a human, il suo cantante, no less, but he spends an inordinate amount of time worrying about the females in my presence. I have had many more years practicing my self control than he has. I can make mad love to any woman, or women, as the case may arise, and never bring them anything but pleasure. When I drink from them, I bring them pleasure even from their deaths. I am not a cruel man, I am a great lover of women. It is an art, and I am a master.

"No, Kelly will be tomorrow. This little fireball's name is Lacie, and don't tell me she's some long lost relative of yours, because there's no way I'm saying no to this one tonight."

"Just make sure she lives to tell about it in the morning," Edward said. Did he really think that if she was to be my dinner, I would bring her to my home? How absurd. I heard a quite crass American saying once, something to the effect of 'not shitting where you sleep.' Well, I do neither of those things, thank God, but it still seems somewhat appropriate here. Such things are simply not done by a civilized vampire, and I was not going to dignify his comment with a response.

"Arrivederci, Edward."

"Buona notte, Felix."

I hung up the phone and promptly turned it off. I'd already made my status report to Aro, and Heidi was sulking somewhere under strict orders to not come back until daybreak. Now I could turn my attention to the dark haired priestess with the blue grey eyes waiting impatiently for the opportunity to worship me and be worshipped in return.

"Lacie, my dulcet darling, where were we?" I glided onto the foot of the bed and she gave me that same innocent yet sultry look that had beckoned me to her earlier that day. The look that reminded me of Isabella, as did her scent, like wild strawberries. I could smell the sweet aroma, now heady and mixed with the scent of sex wafting in my direction like the bouquet of a fine wine. That was to be expected. But I wanted to take my time with this one. I kissed and nibbled her toes, tickling the underside of her foot as I did, drawing an adorable giggle from her. I don't know why, but I love it when they giggle. It is every bit as much an involuntary exclamation of pleasure as when they moan or scream, and I enjoy it almost as much.

I worked my way up her magnificent calf, so firm and tone. It was obvious that she took care of her body. The first moan came when I wrapped my lips around her kneecap, swirling my tongue over the sensitive skin on the outer rim of the knee joint, savoring her salty taste. I caressed her thighs as I slunk between them, removing her red tulle panties with a flick of my wrists. Humans love that little trick.

Shaved and looking as sweet as the day she was born. Perfection. I knelt down at her Delta and her hands went straight for my hair, as though she could hold me in place as her hips bucked her against my face. I devoured her with my lips and tongue, only nicking her once, but careful to seal the wound quickly. Well, after one quick sip. No harm done. The only thing sweeter than blood or a woman's love juices was the two combined. I groaned from the pleasure of it.

I had no sooner slid my cool fingers into her hot tunnel than she orgasmed, wildly thrashing and calling for Jesus. I briefly wondered, as I did often, if Jesus minded when women did that. I certainly would not. I once had audience with the Pope, and I asked him the same question. He did not find it amusing. Ah well.

I looked up at her and she looked sated and satisfied. "Ah, sweet Lacie, I hope I have not worn you out already," I murmured against her stomach as I kissed her soft skin, now covered in a delicious sheen of sweat.

She smiled sweetly at me, pulling me to her and wrapping her legs around my waist, pressing the heels of her feet into my buttocks urging me to take her. I sighed, almost disappointed. Few women today appreciate the slow seduction, the stamina and patience of a true lover. Ah well, who am I to deny the woman what she wants, though?

She gasped at the intrusion, not used to my size. Not many are, and she was tight with innocence. Not a virgin, but close enough. I was gentle with her, kissing and nuzzling and whispering sweet nothings in her ear until she was ready. When I felt she was close, I reached down to lightly pinch her clit and she screamed my name as she came. I allowed myself my own release then, only removing myself once the aftershocks had subsided.

"You were wonderful, Felix," she panted, her hand over her pounding heart. I kissed her forehead before I got up off the bed.

"As were you, il mio dolce. Rest if you like while I get my shower, and then I will drive you home."

"You mean I can't stay?"

I sighed and smiled my sweetest smile. "I'm sorry, my dear. I am not a sound sleeper, and I'm afraid you wouldn't get much rest if you were to stay here."

"Alright," she said, accepting. "When will I see you again?" I sat down on the bed next to her and took her hands in my own, kissing them.

"I'm afraid that would not be a good idea," I explained. "I am only here for a short time. I cannot offer you any kind of commitment, my dear. All I have to give is one night of love. But know that you will stay in my memory forever." Yes, my lines were well rehearsed, but that did not make them any less true. I returned her safely home and walking her to her door, bowing deeply and blowing her a kiss as I walked away, whistling as I went.

**Adrian's POV**

After sneaking out of the dorm and running to Bella and Edward's to pack them an overnight bag, we headed for the hotel. I was really looking forward to an evening with them. I missed them so much and stolen moments like this were all I was allowed. I was anxious to see if Tinker Bells really was as happy as Alice said she'd seen in her visions. Sure enough, Bells was relaxed and practically glowing. She was laughing easier than I'd ever seen before. I liked it. Edward seemed different, too. It was more than the newfound swagger; just the way he teased and joked with her, the way he was so comfortable in the way he touched her now. More than once I caught him casually sliding his thumb under her shirt to caress her side, or tickling her playfully. They reminded me of Ally-Angel and me. She really needed to brush her hair, though. Between the motorcycle ride and whatever else they were doing, she was taking the windswept look to a whole new level. She was still Bells and Whistles, but damn. Seriously.

Several fantasticly greasy slices of definitely not-meal-plan-approved pizza and one wicked game of Scrabble later (note to self: don't play Scrabble with vampires who have the entire dictionary memorized), Alice and Bella kicked Edward and I out of the hotel room for some 'girl time.' Well, Alice kicked us out while Bells looked both very apologetic and slightly scared. Edward tried to intervene for her, but Bells assured him she could handle it, so he kissed her on the cheek and off we went.

Edward and I headed down to the lounge to hang out. I just got a coke. "Hey, while I've got the chance, thanks for making all the arrangements for this England trip, I appreciate it. I can't believe there was another room available at the same bed and breakfast you and Bella are going to. Bella said it only had a few rooms to start with."

"There wasn't another room available. I gave the other guests a small token of my appreciation in return for their kind gesture of finding other lodging," Edward replied nonchalantly. "We have the building to ourselves."

I snorted at that. I didn't exactly grow up poor, but they put a whole new spin on the term 'privileged.' It never ceased to amaze me the lengths they go to. "I see. Should've guessed. So the plan is that Alice thinks she is spending the week with Bella and they will take the first flight. You and I will follow on the second flight. Since I'm involved, she won't be able to see us. She should be totally surprised. Do you think she'll like it? The wedding I have planned is nothing like the one she's planning for you."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Somehow the fact that it is a fake wedding has only given her more room to make it even more extravagant than she normally would, I'm afraid. But to answer your question, yes, I think she will love it." Edward stared at a stain on the tablecloth.

"What's up, man?" For someone who has had the past couple of days that I heard he's had, he sure as hell didn't look as happy as he should.

"I just…well, I just wish it _weren't_ a fake wedding." Should've guessed this, too.

"Whoa! You just got Bella back officially, what, less than 24 hours ago? I don't think either one of you are ready for that yet. How far are you in the Guide?"

"Umm…shortly before we started back to school for her senior year," Edward replied hesitantly. He was thinking the same thing I was. No way was I letting him off that easy.

"I'm guessing you're not reading it as much as you were before, and the fact that you have been otherwise occupied with Sexy Bells has nothing to do with it." Edward glanced up at me, but didn't reply. "Just as I thought. You don't want to get to her birthday party. You don't want to read about the months where you turned her into Vegeta-Bells. And you _really_ don't want to read about how after she saved your ass, you became a possessive dick who still wouldn't give her what she deserved. Well, if you want my opinion, you need to read it before you even think about asking Bella to marry you for real."

"I suppose you're right. I'll finish reading it. But I have learned a lot already, haven't I? I think I've changed for the better. It's not an easy thing for our kind, you know." He looked at me imploringly.

"I know that. That's why I feel it's worth your time to finish reading. And it's also why my opinion about you has changed enough to support you. And enough to ask you to be the best man at my wedding."

Edward looked stunned. "I would be honored. I just assumed…"

"What? That I would ask Jasper? Even before you and Bella got back together, I'm not sure I would have been comfortable having my soon-to-be wife's ex-husband standing at the altar with us. I mean, I love him like a brother and all, but there's a limit, you know?" Edward laughed at that. "Come on, let's go rescue Tinker Bells from the evil pixie."

**Jasper's POV**

I was just settling in for what I was certain would be another solitary evening at home when I smelled her. Heidi. I opened the door just as she was about to knock, and the breeze from the speed I used opening it caused another concentrated gust of her scent to overtake me.

Heidi seemed a little uncomfortable, too, although whether it was because she was going through the same thing or because I was blocking the doorway, leaving her standing on the porch, I wasn't sure. I apologized as I stepped aside and let her in. Wildflowers. It was so intoxicating, it reminded me of that scene in The Wizard of Oz where they all lay down in the poppy field. It didn't matter the spell they were falling under. The flowers smelled so good they didn't care.

"I'm sorry to barge in on you two like this, it's just that I was supposed to be watching Edward and Bella tonight and now I don't have to, but Felix has a girl at our house, so I didn't really have any place to go." Suddenly noticing her appearance, I realized she was rather disheveled, although no less lovely.

"It's no problem. The girl that Felix is with isn't Kelly, is it?" Heidi shook her head and I didn't even attempt to hide my relief. "Alice isn't here, though. She's hunting tonight," _for a muscular human who frequently wears the number 23_, I chuckled to myself.

"Oh," Heidi looked crestfallen. "I should leave, then. I wouldn't want her to be upset that I was here alone with you."

"Don't be silly. Why would she be? What happened, though? No offense, darlin', but you're a mess." Heidi ran her fingers through her knotted hair and shrugged her shoulders.

"I was supposed to be watching Edward and Bella tonight, but they took off on the motorcycle and once they hit town, I couldn't exactly follow them. Felix told me not to worry about it, which is fine, I don't suppose they're going to disappear on us. But still, we have to report to the Volturi nightly. If they start to get the idea that we're laying down on the job for any reason, life is going to get a lot more difficult for all of us. The less I have to lie about, the better."

I tried not to think about Edward and Bella on the bike that I bought her, or wonder about where they were and what they were doing. I shook my head to clear it of the images of us at the park, her bent over my bike... Luckily for me, Heidi's scent made it easy to forget everything else, even if only for a little while. Instead, I thought about what Heidi said about the Volturi. I suddenly found myself feeling sorry for Felix and Heidi. They were caught in this tangled web of deceptions just as much as the rest of us, simply for other reasons.

"I'm sorry. Don't worry, they'll be back tomorrow, I'm sure." Heidi turned to me and nodded and I noticed she didn't have her contacts in. Her eyes were still red, but they were starting to get golden flecks in them.

"How are you adjusting to the new diet?"

"It's not as hard as I thought. I'm used to being around humans from my work for the Volturi. Plus, I think my disgust for the whole concept has become such a driving force that the fact that animal blood tastes a little funny in comparison is a small price to pay." She smiled and I could see the pride in her face.

"I'm proud of you. Really. It took me a long time for me to gain the self control I needed to live this way comfortably." _It took Bella believing in me._

Heidi took a deep breath and sighed, leaning back against the couch. "Hey, has anyone ever told you that you smell really good?" I laughed. Part of me wished I could tell her Alice's singer theory, but then again, it was better this way. The whole idea was ridiculous, anyway.

"Yeah, I may have heard that somewhere before," I replied. "You smell very good as well. Do you want to watch a movie or something?"

"Only if you're sure Alice won't mind me being here."

"I'm sure. What do you want to watch? I think Alice has 'Roman Holiday' around here somewhere," I teased.

"No! Anything but that!" Heidi laughed. I put in Iron Man, figuring that was something everyone could enjoy, and sprawled out on the couch, while Heidi took the loveseat. We laid so that our heads were closest to one another, and I noticed that we were both breathing deeply, trying to get used to the all encompassing feelings that our scents brought about in one another. We watched the movie in companionable silence, only occasionally making a comment here or there about the movie. Just two friends hanging out. It was actually very soothing. And much better than being alone.

**A/N: The NCBs are heading to Great Britian...where should they stop? I realize that this had a little filler-y flavor to it, but it was necessary. I am very sad about the drop in reviews from the last chapter. I know I got a lot of PMs from people saying FF was being uncooperative, but still. I think some Team Jaspers gave up on me...maybe the Team Edwards can pick up the slack and make me feel better? Next chapter will be Halloween and E/B reading the birthday party entry in her journal.**

**Oh, and I get a lot of PMs asking me questions and I haven't had a chance to answer them all, but I think I have a solution. If you could "Ask Lillie" any question -- about the story, me, writing, relationship advice, you name it, what would it be? Let me know in your review and hopefully next chapter update I'll have some answers for you! I will answer one now, though -- NO BABIES IN THIS STORY! ;)**


	34. Chapter 33: Life Love Everything

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own this storyline and my OCs. As predicted, I have already run out of Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs.**

**A/N: First and foremost -- A Lesson in Release was awarded the Twi-Fi Award for Best Non Canon Couple! Thank you so much to everyone who voted for me! ****The song theme for this chapter is My Immortal, by Evanescence. Last but not least, thank you all so much for your kind words. It meant so much to me, even if I haven't had a chance to respond to all of them yet. This chapter has been readingtime and Fab 5 approved. Enjoy!**

**Jasper's POV**

The next week or so passed in relative peace. Heidi, Felix, Edward, and Bella sat down and came to an understanding that they all felt was a fair compromise. Edward and Bella agreed to keep Heidi and Felix aware of their whereabouts at all times. If they were going out to dinner, shopping, missing class for some reason, whatever the case may be, they would call or text someone and let them know they were going out and when they would be back. That way, Heidi and Felix could in good conscience report that they were, in fact, keeping tabs on them. In return, Heidi and Felix agreed to not do surveillance on their house, granting Bella the privacy she deserved.

That settled, Heidi and Felix relaxed and allowed themselves to integrate fully into college life. Heidi's classes for the most part mirrored mine. Felix's, not surprisingly, followed Kelly's, not that she was giving him the time of day. Felix had failed to take into consideration that Kelly and Lacie might be friends, and it didn't take long for Kelly to find out about their little rendezvous. Kelly decided that maybe Edward and I weren't too far off track about him after all and had been giving him the cold shoulder. In true Felix form, he didn't let it slow him down, and has had a different girl at their house almost every night. Then the next morning, he would pull another idea from his bag of tricks in his efforts to seduce Kelly. It was actually quite comical to watch. Well, to everyone except Heidi and Alice.

Due to Felix's rotating door of beautiful college girls, Heidi had been forced to spend more and more time at our house, which in turn forced Alice to actually be there for more than changing clothes. Ironically, the ruse seemed to be affecting Edward and Bella the least. They had secured a certain amount of privacy and freedom that Alice and I, in turn, had lost. We had all expected it to be quite the opposite. Alice was a little irritated by it. It wasn't that Alice didn't enjoy spending time with Heidi and me; on the contrary, the girls had become quite good friends. She just hated having to pretend to be married to me when she would much rather be with Adrian. I couldn't blame her. I would much rather be with Bella. The only thing that seemed to dull the pain and distract me was Heidi's scent.

These were the thoughts that consumed me as I walked across campus until I came upon the only scent in the world that called to me more than Heidi's. Bella. She was sitting down at a picnic table, engrossed in a book. I surveyed the area and realized that no one else was around. I couldn't help myself. I snuck up behind her and grabbed her waist lightly with both hands, whispering "Boo!" in her ear. She jumped in shock, banging her knee on the underside of the table when she did. She turned around, laughing, and put her arms around me to give me a big hug. It was like a balm for my soul.

"Jasper! You scared the living daylights out of me!" She went to let me go, but I held onto her. She cocked her head to one side quizzically.

"I'm sorry, darlin'. I just couldn't resist," I smiled at her warmly and pulled her back to me to hug her again. She squeezed once and then pulled away. I let her go with a sigh.

"Hey, I brought my Frisbee with me. Wanna play?" She raised her eyebrow at me and I chuckled.

"Absolutely!" It was one of our favorite pastimes when we were together. I was able to send her the Frisbee with enough precision that she could catch it without chasing after it and potentially hurting herself, and yet I was fast enough to be able to catch it no matter how badly she threw it back to me. Unfortunately, I had to maintain human speed here, so I had a feeling I would be picking the Frisbee up off the ground. A lot. I didn't mind at all.

We played for probably 20 minutes, laughing and catching up, before Edward showed up. He just sat at the picnic table and watched us in silence, a small smile on his face. We kept playing until the rest of the gang joined him. I felt Bella's self-consciousness at our audience creeping into my joy.

"I think I have to call it quits, darlin'. You wore me out," I teased. I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her into as casual a hug as I could manage as we walked back to the table. God, I missed her so much.

"So what're everybody's plans for the weekend?" Bella asked as she sat down next to Edward. He gave her a quick peck on the forehead before turning his attention to Alice.

"I thought we could have a Halloween party on Saturday!" She looked at Bella meaningfully. "Bella, you could even invite some of your friends if you wanted." I felt the dread from Bella and Edward and couldn't help but agree. This was a bad idea. Alice was getting too comfortable with the Italians. She wanted us to invite Adrian over, which means she wouldn't be able to see how the party would go. Bad. Idea.

"What a wonderful idea!" Felix agreed enthusiastically. "Kelly will never be able to resist me in my sexy vampire costume."

"Don't bet on it," Kelly said as she approached the table, and everyone snickered. Felix smiled, undeterred. You had to hand it to him – he was persistent. "Did I hear something about a party?"

"Alice," Bella spoke up quickly, "it's awfully short notice, don't you think? I'm sure everyone has plans already, and I'd never be able to get a costume on such short notice."

"I could manage," Kelly said. "A party sounds like fun!"

"I've already got costumes picked out for the family," Alice continued. "Including Emmett. He needs a break from shopping, so he's decided to visit for a couple of weeks. He should be here tomorrow. Come on, Bella, it'll be fun!" Alice pulled out the puppy dog eyes, and knew she'd won when Bella rolled her eyes.

"What are we dressing up as?" Bella asked before caving completely.

"Jack and Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas!"

**Edward's POV**

"I still think it's a bad idea," I said as Bella and I walked into the house at the end of the day. "We've pulled off nothing short of a miracle so far keeping Adrian out of their sights. Why would she do this now?" Her thoughts showed her irrational logic that they wouldn't really see him if he was wearing a costume, but at least she would know he was there, even if she couldn't approach him. I started a fire in the fireplace while Bella pulled her shoes off.

"Because she's a crazy pixie that can't help herself?" She said with a completely straight face. I just laughed. She had a point. Well, as long as Adrian kept quiet and kept his distance, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Still, I sent a quick email to him while Bella put her pajamas on and strongly suggested he fake a cold and stay at home. I needed to talk to him about the wedding plans, anyway.

I shut off the laptop just as Bella made her way back to the living room. "Come on, love. You promised we could read some tonight." I held out my hand to her and she reluctantly curled up on the couch with me. She'd been avoiding reading her journal as much as I was lately, but I wasn't letting it drop. As much of a pain as Adrian was at times, he had a point. We'd already addressed so many issues, and that was from the time in her journal when we were happy and together. We were both hesitant to jump into the darker periods in our relationship, but if we ever wanted to have a real future together, it needed to be done.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her back between my legs as we cuddled on the couch. Feeling her pressed against me seriously tempted me to put off reading the guide for a much more pleasurable activity. An image filled my mind of Bella straddling me, one arm on either side of my head holding onto the back of the couch as she rode me, her beautiful breasts bouncing in my face. Bella pulled me out of my little fantasy when she threw a blanket over our legs and sighed heavily.

"Okay. But you're reading, not me. I won't be able to do it," she insisted. I kissed her cheek.

"Deal." The couch would have to wait.

_September 13, 2005 – I had the most horrible nightmare last night. I saw my Gran, old and pruny, just like I remembered her. Then Edward was there, in the sunlight. I panicked, wondering what Gran would think of the gorgeous glittering man walking towards us. He put his arm around me and we turned to look at Gran. But it wasn't Gran. It was me. Ancient, withered me, looking in a mirror as Edward wished me a Happy Birthday with a kiss on my wrinkly cheek. _

_Well, that about sums up how I feel about turning 18. Happy Birthday. Not! I'm 18…and Edward never will be. If I knew for sure that Edward would change me, that Alice's vision would come true, then being a year or two older than him might not bother me so much. But he won't. And it does._

_To make it worse, he and Alice ganged up on me this morning and are forcing me to go to a birthday party at their house this evening, which is the LAST thing I want, not that either of them seemed to care. I even tried using homework as an excuse, but they just adjusted their plans around it and ignored me altogether. "Let's discuss it later," he said. He sounded just like my dad. Well, maybe not MY dad, but A dad. So here I sit in class, trying to think of ways to get out of it. I mean, honestly, the two things I want LEAST today are attention on me and presents commemorating an event I wish never happened. Especially the expensive kind. I wish Edward would understand why I feel uncomfortable when he spends money on me. He's the best present I could have ever received. Just that fact that he wants to be with me of all people already throws the universe completely out of balance. I have nothing to offer him in return. Anything else he gives me would just make us even more out of whack._

I stopped reading and looked at Bella, who looked back at me with a sad smile. "You don't still see us that way, do you?"

Bella chewed on her bottom lip and thought carefully before responding. "In some ways, no. I mean, I accepted my birthday present this year, right? I am more confident now than I was then. But on the other hand, yes. Now more than ever, actually. Because at that time, I felt I didn't deserve you just because I innately believed myself not good enough. But now, there is evidence to back up my theory. I've made mistakes. I've hurt the people I care about most, with you at the top of that list. And part of me feels like I deserve to be loved now even less than I did then, because of what I've done."

"Oh, Bella. What can I do to convince you that you're wrong? We've both made mistakes. But as much as it pains me to admit this, I don't think you can call your relationship with Jasper a mistake. The way you went about it was a mistake, certainly, but you both loved each other, very much. I'm not naïve enough to believe that isn't true. Besides, everything happens for a reason. All that matters now is that we're together again. We can learn from the past, but dwelling on it will serve no purpose other than to dampen the present and endanger the future." Bella nodded her head silently and turned to look at the book in my hands. I took the hint and continued reading.

_---Well, it doesn't seem like I'm getting out of this party. Edward is just not taking no for an answer. And my dad was no help. He was just glad I wasn't going to distract him from his baseball game. _

_At least I got a few kisses before the inevitable 'Be Good' while we were watching Romeo and Juliet. I really hate the boundaries he's created for us. I understand them, but I hate them. I fail miserably every time we get close at all. I can't help but want him closer. Then I feel guilty because I've made it difficult on him and he's been forced to chastise me like an eight year old. Again. _

_He was making fun of Romeo, saying that he destroyed his own happiness with mistake after mistake. THEN he tells me he was jealous of Romeo being able to kill himself so easily and said that if James had killed me, he was going to go to Italy and have those guys from Carlisle's painting kill him. He honestly didn't understand why I was pissed off at that. Add in yet another argument with Edward about changing me, and my birthday's turning out to be worse than I had imagined. I'm off to the party now…Edward guilt tripped me about them never getting to celebrate birthdays and told me to 'Be a good sport.' Ugh. Someone should remind the pushy vampires that birthdays are supposed to mean getting what you want, even if what you want is to sit at home and pretend it's not your birthday. I'll let you know later how much carnage there was._

"I was really incorrigible about that party, wasn't I?" I asked. I was upset she wouldn't let me buy her an Audi, but the one thing she really wanted, I refused her. I forced her to go to that party. I couldn't help but wonder how our lives would have been different if I had just let Bella have what she wanted that night.

Bella chuckled. "Yes, you were."

"I'm sorry, Bella," I whispered in her ear. She shivered a little and leaned into me a little more.

"You're forgiven. It was irritating, but not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things."

"Well, let me just state for the record that if you don't want to go to Alice's Halloween party, we won't go. Pure and simple." I gave my head a quick nod for affirmation.

Bella smiled and kissed me on the cheek. "Thank you, Edward. That means a lot to me. But honestly, as long as we can keep you-know-who from figuring out you-know-what, I'm looking forward to the Halloween party. I think you're perfect for Jack."

"Oh, really? Why is that, exactly?"

"Jack wasn't satisfied being who he was. He didn't realize that he was already pretty great," Bella said with a smirk.

"So that makes you the perfect Sally," I mused, "saving me from myself."

Bella smiled widely at the analogy. "I'd like to think so. We save each other."

I went back to reading.

_---Okay, the carnage thing was supposed to be a joke. Turns out, not so much. First, Alice had completely overdone the decorations, right down to a huge cake and a stack of glass plates. I mean, seriously?! I was the only human there. Why did she need all those plates? _

_And of course, there were presents. Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie gave me a new stereo for my truck. It's already installed. Then I went to open Alice and Edward's present, and cut my finger on the wrapping paper. The next thing I knew, Edward had flung me backwards and I crashed into the table with the cake and plates. Jasper slammed into Edward, snarling and snapping, apparently trying to get to me. I fell down, right into the pile of glass shards, ending up with a large gash running from my elbow to my wrist. I honestly thought for a second I was going to die. Everyone looked hungry except Carlisle. Thankfully, he kicked everyone else out, including Edward, and stitched me up._

_We actually had a very pleasant conversation. He told me all about his human life, his beliefs. How and why he was changed. How and why he changed Edward. Then we got to talking about Edward's beliefs. Edward believes they have no soul. That's why he doesn't want to change me. It makes sense now, at least. Even though it's ludicrous. He has the most beautiful soul._

_I made Alice promise to tell Jasper I forgave him. It wasn't his fault. Now I just need to convince Edward that it wasn't his fault, either. If it was anyone's fault, it was mine. I should have been more careful. _

_After we got back to my house, I opened Carlisle and Esme's gift. Tickets to Jacksonville for me and Edward! I have to remember to thank them properly. They spent too much money, but it was so thoughtful, and I'm so excited about the idea. Edward made me a CD of my lullaby and the song he wrote for Esme. It was so beautiful I cried._

_My arm hurts. Edward gave me some Tylenol. I didn't want to take them, but I knew there was no way I could win the argument so I didn't bother trying. Edward worried me when we went to bed, talking about right and wrong. Then the way he kissed me, much more passionately then he usually allows. The way he did when I had to go to Phoenix without him to get away from James. Like it meant goodbye. I really hope I'm wrong, but I have a feeling that tomorrow is going to be even worse than today._

I put the book down and turned to kiss Bella. I wrapped my fingers in her hair and quickly deepened the kiss. The emotions these memories were evoking were too painful, too powerful. I needed to feel Bella, to prove to both of us that we were alright, that it was in our past and we were together now and this time it is going to last. Forever. Never again do I want to kiss her and have her fear it means goodbye. When she needed to breathe, I held her tight. I didn't want to read any more. I knew what was coming.

"I'm okay, Edward," she said soothingly. "We're okay. Come on, let's keep going. Like ripping off a Band-Aid, right? We both know what's hiding under it. Let's just get it over with."

Bella took the book from my hands and started reading, her voice quiet and shaky.

_September 14, 2005 – Today was just as bad as I'd feared. Jasper and Alice are gone. Edward didn't say where. We really didn't talk about anything. I asked Edward if he would come over after I got off work. He said "If you want me to." I told him I would ALWAYS want him. He just kissed my forehead and indifferently said "alright." I almost had a panic attack on my way to work. _

_When I got back from work, Edward was already here. Watching the game with my dad. Actually watching the game. He just blew me off when I came in. I am in full tilt panic mode now. Something is really, really wrong. I don't know what's going to happen. Am I going to have to stay away from his family? Are we going to have to run away together? That's got to be the worst case scenario, right?! He's just worried that it'll upset me when he asks me to leave. That's got to be the reason for the sudden distance between us. It would hurt my parents so much, but I would do it. For him. I'd do anything for Edward. _

_I decided to take some pictures with my new camera, put them in the scrapbook that Renee gave me so I would have something to remind me of our time here when we were gone. Edward was still acting so…unemotional. Empty. Charlie took a picture of us and Edward had his arm just barely around my shoulder, while I was squeezing him as tight as I could. As soon as the camera flashed, he twisted away from me and went back to watching television. My hands were shaking so much afterwards that all I could do was curl up in a ball on the couch. When he decided it was time to leave, he went straight for his car, and I had to chase after him. He said he wasn't staying tonight. He didn't even kiss me goodnight. He just…left. I can't sleep and I don't know what to do. How to fix this. I am __so scared__! _

I knew, by now, the basics of what I had done to her when I left her. I hadn't realized how much I had affected her before I was even gone. Hearing her read it to me, in her own words, was almost too much to bear. Every impulse I had was telling me to throw the book in the fire, whisk Bella off to bed and spend the rest of the night making us both forget that awful time ever happened. Bella's facial expressions gave me no indication of what she was thinking or feeling and it bothered me.

"Bella?" She didn't look at me. She just shook her head and kept reading.

_September 15, 2005 – Edward was no better today. He was next to me, but pretty much ignored me the entire day. I don't know what to do. We can't fix this if he won't talk to me. I picked up my pictures on my way home from work. The difference between the one I took of him before the party and the one Charlie took of us yesterday is so extreme it's painful. I couldn't concentrate on my homework, so I put together my scrapbook instead. I look so plain next to him, even in the last picture. How can I compare to a god?_ _It's late now and Edward is obviously not coming over again. He didn't even call._

_September 16, 2005 – Edward is even more remote today than yesterday. This is getting out of hand. I am going to talk to him about it today after school, and I'm not taking no for an answer. Worst case, I'm going to go see Carlisle tomorrow. My stupid birthday party is ancient history at this point but Edward is slipping farther and farther away from me by the minute. If only Alice would come back. _

The handwriting below was sloppy, tear stained, and almost illegible.

_He's gone. Life. Love. Everything. Over._

There were no words to be spoken between us at that moment. I gently took the book from her hands, picked her up and carried her to bed. We were utterly silent as we undressed each other and made love, not for pleasure, but out of sheer need to be as close to one another as physically possible. Afterwards, Bella laid completely on top of me, still joined, as she fell asleep and stayed there all night long as we held onto each other for dear life.

**A/N: First stop on the Great Britian leg of the NCB Cullendales Revue -- Manchester! You never know where they'll go, but if you want them to "come" to a town near you, you have to let me know!**


	35. Chapter 34: We've Only Just Begun

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do own this storyline, my OCs, and the most beautiful $8 Mother's Day necklace the world has ever seen.**

**A/N: First, I want to dedicate this chapter to Daddy's Little Cannibal, her family, friends, and everyone who loved her writing. She had an amazing creative mind that was silenced way before her time. Rest in peace, Stephanie.**

**Song choice for this chapter is "We've Only Just Begun" by The Carpenters. Thanks as always to readingtime and The Fab 5. **

**I'm doing one more reading selection here before I switch over to the blog. The only reason I haven't recommended this story before was because I was waiting for the ending. She knows why -- I was on the lookout for blue eyed babies. But the story is complete now, and I can say with all my heart that I am a Devoted Servant of Master Jasper. If you don't know what that means, then run, don't walk, to The Forbidden Room by DefinitelyStaying. It is definitely a 'for adult eyes only' D/s story with E/B, E/J, J/B, J/B/E, J/E/OCs. You name it, it's in there, and it's HOT! Add in an amazing storyline and characters you fall in love with and you've got a phenomenal masterpiece. It is, of course, on my favorites list. **

**Edward's POV**

What had started the evening before as pure need to be as close to one another as possible had over the course of the night turned into sweet torture. Without the distraction from the intense feelings in the heat of the moment, I was able to languidly enjoy the sensation of being seated inside my Bella, feel her soft flesh wrapped around my member, her hot breath on my neck. It was heavenly. We were truly one in every way. Of course, the flip side was every slight move she made only renewed my arousal for her until I was practically mad with desire. My hands had a mind of their own, lazily exploring and caressing her naked body while she slept. I fiddled with her heart pendant that looked even more exquisite when it was the only thing she was wearing. When Bella started to stir in the morning, I couldn't help but lift my hips to thrust into her. Bella awoke with a start, the surprise marking her features quickly replaced with a lustful smirk. I cupped her ass in my hands and flipped us over so she was underneath me. Bella lifted her head to kiss me. I moved one hand to hold her head to me as I deepened the kiss, loving the feel of her tongue against mine.

"Mmmm…good morning to you, too," Bella murmured between kisses, wrapping her arms around me. She slid her hands down my back, scraping her fingernails against my granite skin as she went before grabbing my buttocks and squeezing. My hips bucked into hers instinctively and she wrapped her legs around me as I began thrusting into her with all the force I dared. Somewhere in the corner of my brain the thought popped up that I was looking forward to the day when she was like me. I would love to just let loose and pound into her with reckless abandon. I shook my head, surprised at the path of my own thoughts, and refocused on savoring the moment with her. I caressed her cheek, kissing a trail from her jaw to her collarbone while my hand kneaded her supple breast. I loved the way her nipple pressed against my palm. I picked up speed as her wet heat seared my flesh in the most delicious way. Bella began kissing my chest, licking her tongue around one of my nipples before biting it.

I threw my head back and growled. "Jesus, Bella!" Bella chuckled with satisfaction as she moved on to the other nipple. Reaching between us, I found her sensitive bundle of nerves, already throbbing against my touch and pinched it lightly between my thumb and forefinger, my head dropping to her shoulder. Bella's orgasm exploded around me, pulsating and clenching me even tighter as I thrust one last time and came.

I gently slid out of her folds and rolled onto my back, bringing her with me. She curled against me on her side and her fingertips began lazily dancing across my skin, much the same as mine had hers when she was sleeping. A soft purr formed in the base of my throat and I felt Bella's cheeks lift up into a smile against my chest.

"What are you smiling about?" I asked her, kissing the top of her head.

"You. Purring. I love that you feel so content, that I do that for you."

"Only you, my love. Stay here and relax. Let me bring you breakfast in bed before we get ready for school." I kissed her nose and started to get up when she placed her hand on my arm, stopping me.

"I don't want to go to school today, Edward. I want to finish reading the journal with you. Finally put it all behind us once and for all." I stared in her eyes, not sure if I was ready for more of the anguish it would surely yield, but she was determined, and in the end, I could deny her nothing. I nodded in agreement.

"Alright, well in that case, you can have breakfast in bed while we read." I got up, grabbing my phone from the nightstand to text Heidi and Felix before making Bella a quick breakfast of cereal, juice, and coffee. I snuck outside to pick a flower off one of the mums in the front yard and put it into a bud vase on the tray before returning to her.

She smiled at me appreciatively. "Would you mind reading first while I eat?" she asked. I swallowed reflexively and nodded, turning the page to the bookmark. I stared again at the last words we had read last night. _Love. Life. Meaning. Over._ I looked up and met her gaze.

"You know it was the same for me, right? I inflicted it on both of us, and that doesn't make what I did to you any better, but you need to know, it was the same for me. All meaning in my life was gone the moment I ran away from you," I pleaded with her to understand.

"I know that now, Edward, but I didn't then, and that was what hurt the most. And don't feed me that 'I shouldn't have believed you' crap again, because I don't want to hear it. I loved you. I trusted you. And I was already insecure about our relationship and you knew that. You played on that. I forgave you a long time ago. Just as you've forgiven me. It's no longer a matter of forgiveness with us. It's a matter of trust." She was right. We weren't subjecting ourselves to this exercise to gain forgiveness. We each needed to truly understand what we had wrought so we could learn to trust in one another again. With that in mind, I read on.

There were no entries between September 17th and October 30th. The very next entry, so shakily and sloppy written it didn't even look like Bella's handwriting, was, I assumed, on Halloween. It wasn't dated.

_Vampires knocking on the door begging for candy. I wish they'd just go away and leave me alone. All the real ones did._

Then another undated entry.

_Got rid of every damn CD that reminded me of him. None of them are the one I really want to listen to anyway. That one's already gone._ _Ripped that stereo out of my truck, too._

I noticed the word 'him' was written with much more force on her pen, the lines thicker and darker. I could imagine her gripping the pen in her fist, holding it more like a knife than a writing instrument. I was certain even a human would be able to feel the indentations her pen made on the original with that word. I also noticed there were trace stains, small reddish brown smears on the paper. I realized they were bloodstains. She'd removed the stereo with her bare hands, injuring herself in the process. Jesus.

After that, there were no more entries for the rest of the year. Nothing about Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or New Year's. Nothing. She hadn't missed one day writing in her journal up until that point, not even when she had to run away to Phoenix. Even the day of the fight at the ballet studio was filled in after the fact at the hospital. But here, I inflicted damage worse than any James could have. Four months -- completely blank, utterly devoid of life. The extent of her pain suddenly felt quantifiable in a way it never had before. I almost wished it didn't.

_January 16, 2006 – Charlie threatened to send me to Jacksonville, or to a shrink, if I don't start 'handling' it. I decided to prove to him I'm okay and ask Jessica to go see a zombie movie with me. Ironic, huh? Movie sucked. Why'd they need all that romance before they got to the hack and slash? On our way to McDonald's, the strangest thing happened. We walked by a bar, One Eyed Pete's. There were four guys standing outside. I could have sworn they were the same guys that tried to attack me before. I wasn't afraid. What did I have to lose? I've already lost everything. I headed towards them to get a closer look. Jessica thought what I was doing was suicidal. It wasn't, not strictly speaking. After all, if it _was_ those same men and something had happened to me, they would have been the ones to do it, not me. Anyway, I got half way across the street when I heard _his_ voice. He told me to stop it, to go back to Jessica. He reminded me that I promised not to do anything stupid. It was so beautiful, velvety, just like I remembered. Even though it was furious, angry. He snarled and growled at me to turn around, making it easy to pretend he cared. I am either crazy, or my brain is fabricating his voice as a defense mechanism to give me a break from the pain, to help me lie to myself that he cared whether I lived or died. Either way, once I realized it wasn't the same men, that these guys weren't dangerous, the voice disappeared. But as soon as the voice disappeared, the pain came back, a bleeding, throbbing hole in my chest._

_January 17, 2006 – I promised not to do anything reckless. Fuck that. He promised a lot of things, too. He promised he'd stay as long as it made me happy. Then when he broke that promise, he promised it would be as though he never existed. What kind of bullshit promise is that?! Well, you know what, I can break promises, too. I got a couple of motorcycles today. Jacob Black said he'd rebuild them and teach me to ride. _

"Bella…love…do we have to read all the stuff about Jacob?" I pleaded with her. What would there be to learn from that except that the mongrel tried to move in on my girl? I already knew that.

Bella smirked, rolling her eyes at me, but compromised. "How about this? You speed read through the next couple of months and we'll just talk about the stuff that is relevant to you in the here and now?" Sounded fair enough. I'd still have to read it, but at least I wouldn't have to rehash it in conversation.

"Like ripping off a Band-Aid, right?" I teased.

"Exactly," she said, taking another sip of her coffee. The entries were different than before I left. Shorter. To the point. Not at all poetic. They lacked any sense of life, of vitality, of joy. They were for the most part nothing more than a recount of the day's events.

_January 19, 2006 – I've been in Forks one year today. I went to their house today. I suppose I was hoping to hear his voice again. I didn't. The house was still there, abandoned. Just like me. I drove like a bat out of hell straight to Jacob's house. Besides 'the voice', he's the only thing that helps me breathe._

_January 25, 2006 – Jacob finished the bikes today! I got to break a promise and take it out riding! And even better – the velvet voice was back, and boy was it pissed! It called me childish and reckless and idiotic, and it was beautiful. The voice thinks I'm suicidal, too. Tried to order me to go home to Charlie. Well, I might want to HEAR it but that doesn't mean I'm going to LISTEN to it. I've finally figured it out. Adrenaline + danger + stupidity = velvet voice. I crashed, of course, but it was only seven little stitches on my head. Totally worth it._

_Oh, and on our way to go test out the bikes, we saw Sam and his crew cliff diving. I think I've found my next reckless act! Jacob was stressed out about the weird goings on with Sam's gang. I gave him a hug. It felt good to be close to someone again. To have a friend. But I'm beginning to think he sees it as more. I'll deal with that later. Much later. _

_January 28, 2006 – Crashed the bike again. Flew into a tree. Freaking hurt. Probably got another concussion. Got to hear the voice yelling at me for five whole minutes, though. Totally worth it. Told Charlie I fell hiking. _

_January 30, 2006 – Jacob convinced me to lay off the bike for a week, so we don't get caught. Instead, we're going to go searching for the meadow. I've got to be able to hear his voice there, right?_

"Bella, I don't know what to say about these entries," I admitted quietly. It's no wonder the voice in her head thought she was suicidal. Reading these entries, I would have to agree with him.

"Then just keep reading," she responded just as softly. I fast forwarded, speed reading past Valentine's Day candies and movies and Jake telling her he was going to be 'annoyingly persistent' in his attempts to make her fall in love with him. Finally something I agreed with that dog about. He was nothing if not annoying. I didn't realize how many times Bella tried to tell him she just wanted to be friends, and he just smiled and ignored her. She would try to pull her hand away, he would squeeze tighter. And yet she kept going back to him, because he was there, and I wasn't, and she needed someone, something to dull the pain from the hole I created. I didn't think it was possible for me to feel any worse than I already did for that time in our lives, but I did. Infinitely so. And my anger at Jacob only grew. I growled under my breath, but Bella heard it.

"Edward…focus," Bella said. I continued speed reading through Bella's anguish at being separated from Jacob, oblivious to the signs of his transformation written on the page, until I got to the page where she went to the meadow, and Laurent.

_March 4, 2006 – I found the meadow today. It wasn't the same, not without _him_. No velvet voice, either, at least, not until all hell broke loose. Laurent showed up. For the briefest moment, I thought it was_ him_, but it wasn't. When I realized Laurent's eyes were still red, the voice showed up, telling me to lie to him when he asked if the Cullens visited often. Even Laurent realized that I must not mean much to them if they left me 'unprotected' as he put it. When Laurent told me about Victoria and his plans to kill me, the voice told me to threaten him, beg. It didn't work. I kept repeating 'Edward I love you' in my head, certain that I was going to die at any moment, when these five giant wolves, big as horses, attacked him and chased him into the woods. It took me hours to find my way back to the truck. Now I have two vampires after me. I'm putting Charlie in danger, too, just by being here. The only difference is this time, there's no one to help me, nowhere to run._

She hadn't realized that it was Jacob and his friends who had saved her, for which I will be forever grateful; it should have been me. She hadn't realized that Laurent was dead. She lived with that fear for a full week before figuring out that Jacob was a werewolf, making it possible for him to tell her they'd at least killed Laurent and could try to protect her and Charlie from Victoria. More of Jacob trying to crowbar his way into her heart. Meeting Emily. Then came the day she went cliff-diving.

_March 16, 2006 – I think today's the day I took the adrenaline rush thing a little too far. Jacob and I were supposed to go cliff diving, but he was out chasing down Victoria. I couldn't just sit around and wait to make sure everyone made it back alive, so I went by myself. I didn't bother looking for the path to the lower ledge that we were planning on jumping from. I wanted to jump from the top. I needed to hear _his_ voice, needed to dull the pain. And I did hear it, disapproving and angry and perfect, pleading with me not to do it. Then I jumped. But I didn't plan on the current being so strong and it took me under. I was drowning. Dying. Edward's voice told me to keep swimming, not to give up, but it was no use. He told me to keep fighting, but I didn't want to. I was happy it was almost over. Not only could I hear his voice, but I could see his face, so beautiful, even with him angry at me for giving up. Why would I fight? I was happy, content drowning. Then Jacob saved me, and told me Harry Clearwater had a heart attack. He died. How selfish can I be? Charlie could have lost one of his best friends and his daughter all in one day. All because of me. I can't be reckless anymore. I have to give up my hallucinations of Edward. Grow up. Maybe I could, with Jacob. It would be settling for Paris when I really needed Romeo, but Romeo isn't coming back. Could I give just a little of my love to Jacob? Edward didn't want it. Why would he care? I heard his voice telling me to 'be happy' and I almost made yet another mistake today. When Jacob leaned to kiss me, I almost let him. But the moment was interrupted when Jacob smelled a vampire at my house, and not just any vampire. Alice! She saw me jump off the cliff, but didn't see me afterwards, so she assumed I was dead and came back to help Charlie. She was going to turn around and leave since I was still alive, but I begged her to stay. I don't know how long she'll be here. I'm just happy she's here now._

"Bella! You _were_ trying to kill yourself!" I hugged her to me, probably tighter than I should, kissing every part of her I could reach, her hair, her forehead. I had been so close to losing her forever without even knowing it. So close to destroying the one thing in this world I needed the most. If I didn't lose her to suicide, I would have lost her to Jacob, who had once again saved her life. I've never been more thankful for their ability to block Alice's visions.

"No, I wasn't!" Bella stuttered, knowing as well as I did that it was only a half truth.

"I had always suspected, but you said you weren't and I believed you. But the truth is right here in black and white. When you approached those strange men in Port Angeles, it was almost as if you wanted it to be those criminals from before, because if they killed you, then you got to end your life without having to pull the trigger. Same thing with the cliff diving. You may have jumped for recreation, or just to hear my voice, but when you quit fighting against the current, when you decided to just let yourself drown and was happy about it -- right there, in that moment, you were committing suicide. Both times you did it in a way where if you were successful no one would know you intentionally ended your own life, but you would have just the same. Oh God, Bella…" She needed me. Every bit as much as I needed her in my life, she needed me. And just like me, she was willing to throw it all away when she thought I was gone forever. Thank God it didn't work. For either of us.

Bella put her head down, looking at her hands wringing in her lap. It was several long minutes before she replied, her voice barely a whisper.

"I'm stronger now…and so are you."

Bella took the book from me and continued reading.

_March 18/19, 2006 – Just when you think it couldn't get any worse, it does. At least in my world. Maybe instead of calling it Murphy's Law it should be Bella's Law. Jacob came over to visit, to ask me about the Cullens coming back. Alice stepped out so we could talk in private. One thing led to another and I think Jacob was about to try and kiss me when the phone rang, blessedly interrupting us because I had no idea whether or not to let it happen. He thought it was Carlisle who was asking for Charlie. It wasn't. It was Edward. Turns out Rosalie told him about Alice's vision of me jumping off the cliff. He thinks I'm dead. Especially since Jacob said Charlie was 'at the funeral.' He's going to Italy, to provoke the Volturi into killing him. So now for the second time in a year I am racing towards what could be my impending death. Alice and I are preparing to face the Volturi on the chance that maybe, just maybe, I can get to Edward before it's too late. Jacob begged me to stay, in essence, to choose him over Edward. It was never a choice. Even if Edward doesn't love me, it will always be Edward. Only Edward. Soon, I will either see him, or take the easy way out and let them kill me too. There's an odd comfort in that. Alice promised me that if we manage to save him, she'll turn me. Maybe once I'm strong and beautiful like him, I'll be good enough. He won't need distractions. I don't have time to think about that now, though. We're getting ready to land. Alice said he's going to walk into the town square at noon, in broad daylight, sparkling for all the world to see. Brilliant. Stupid, but brilliant. God, I hope we get there in time._

"Isabella, you and I are so alike, aren't we?" I didn't have to explain. She knew exactly what I meant.

"Never again?" she asked.

"Never again." It didn't miss my attention that in an ironic twist of fate the very phone call that sent me to Italy was quite possibly the only thing that kept Bella from giving up on me entirely and giving in to Jacob. Bella turned to the last page in her journal and began to read.

_March 21, 2006 – I got to Edward in the nick of time. He didn't think I was real, at first. Ironic, right? That he thought he was hallucinating me? Didn't exactly have a chance to tell him I've got the market cornered on that little piece of crazy. But then two of the guard, Felix and Demetri showed up, and this little girl vampire named Jane. That Felix guy was creepy, calling 'Dibs' on what by Edward's growls I can only assume was on who was going to get to kill me. We went through this long, cold tunnel to this building. They led us into this large, round, stone room, with an ominous drain in the middle of the floor. Aro, Marcus, and Caius were there. _

_Aro actually seemed quite congenial, professing his love for happy endings. He talked about Carlisle and how it pleased him that Carlisle found success in his vegetarian lifestyle and ability to surround himself with people who shared his beliefs. He assured Edward he meant me no harm, then said he was curious to see if I could block his mind reading abilities the way I block Edward's. He held my hand as if to kiss it, and suddenly it was as if my entire life was flashing before my eyes, from the current moment backwards until the moment I first laid eyes on the Cullens in the cafeteria. It made me a little woozy, and Edward rushed towards me to catch me from falling. He only made it half way to me before he collapsed, writhing in pain. Aro caught me and held me up until he seemed confident I was steady on my feet before turning to the little girl vampire and calmly saying her name. Instantly, she stopped._

_My anger got the best of my common sense as I started storming at her, my hands in fists at my side. "You did that to him?! On purpose?" I really have no idea what I meant to accomplish, because sure enough I ended up on the ground, feeling as though thousands of volts of electricity were coursing through my system. Thankfully, Aro stopped her quickly. _

_He asked us each if we wanted to join them. Myself included. Told Caius that I had 'enormous potential.' He agreed to let us go free, but only if Edward could touch his hand and prove to him that he intended to change me. Edward couldn't do it. But Alice did. As we were leaving, this vampire they called Heidi was ushering in a large group of tourists. They didn't know they were dinner until it was too late. My heart breaks just thinking about them. _

_Now we're flying home. _

_I don't know how long he'll stay before he leaves again. He might stay a while out of guilt. He might leave again tomorrow. But at least I saved him, got to have his arms around me one more time. Got to pretend he still loves me as much as I love him. No matter what happens in my life from here on out, no matter how much it will hurt when he leaves again, it was worth it. _

It was an odd place for her to end the journal. I was certain she kept writing after this date, but for some reason, that was the last day she chose to share with me. It struck me as strange that she wouldn't include our reconciliation, our reunion, the spring and summer months we shared before Jasper entered her life. I half expected her to include her early days with him; then again, Bella is not that cruel. But the rest…?

"Bella, why did you end it there?"

Bella looked at me and smiled a sad smile. "Because every good love story deserves a happily ever after -- the white knight and the fairy princess riding off into the sunset. That day was our ride into the sunset, that day should have been the start of our happily ever after."

I put the book down and pulled her into my lap, staring into her eyes as the sun set behind her through the window. "But don't you see, my love? In the most strange and unexpected way, it was."

I realized that we'd been reading all day, and Bella had nothing to eat since breakfast. I whipped her up a grilled chicken salad, which she also ate in bed. We curled up in each other's arms and talked half the night away about everything we'd read in her journal, everything that I'd suffered through in her absence. We talked about what happened when we got back, and how we'd both managed to throw it all away once more. We talked about our trust issues, both hers and mine. Finally, we talked about how, through it all, our love never died, and how we were stronger now than ever before.

**A/N: Bear in mind that in my little AU, I assume the position that Bella is not a shield. Her ability to block Edward is her singer's immunity. Also keep in mind that Eclipse never happened, so all Edward knows of Jacob is that he's a juvenile werewolf who was moving in on his girl while he was away. **

**For the same reason you can't go to Columbus, Ohio without going to Ann Arbor, Michigan -- you can't go to Manchester without also going to Leeds. Enjoy your lap dance with Jasper and the NCBs, Kiara. ;)**


	36. Chapter 35: This is Halloween

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do own my OCs, this storyline, and all the ingredients for a perfect chocolate martini.**

**A/N: Thanks as always to readingtime, who is betatastic! Thanks to all my LFBs for helping me pick out the Halloween costumes. I did something different in this chapter, I changed the POV several times, it was the only way to keep up with the action. Let me know if it worked. Song selection is 'This is Halloween' by Danny Elfman. Actually, the Marilyn Manson version is awesome too.**

**Adrian's POV**

"Ally-Angel, I love you and I miss you too, so much. And I miss everyone else, too. But is this _really_ a good idea? If I'm there, you're blind. You have no way of knowing how this turns out." The moment I got Edward's e-mail, I had to agree with him. This could be disasterous.

"Technically, that's true, I can't see the party, but I _can_ see things further out. I see Charlie coming next week, for instance, and I see Jasper and Heidi hunting, and I see Felix and Kelly sitting in class passing notes. So by association, that has to mean that the party goes off without a hitch, right?"

"Maybe, but I shouldn't have to remind you that your visions are only as good as the decisions made before them. Someone makes a split-second decision at the party, and not only will you not see it coming because I'm around, you'll have no idea what changed or how to fix it."

Alice huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "But Heidi and Felix are nothing like how we thought they'd be! I mean, Kelly is getting to hang out with us, and Felix has already slept with half the women on campus. Why shouldn't you be able to be around us, too, even if we can't admit that we're together. We'll just tell them you're a friend of Bella's, which is true, and that'll be that."

I rolled my eyes at my stubborn fiancée. "There's no way I'm gonna win this one, is there?"

"Nope," she said firmly.

I sighed. "Okay, you win." Alice jumped up and tackled me onto the miserable-cot-they-call-a-bed, peppering my face with kisses. "Can I dress up as an Ohio State football player? I already have the uniform?" I knew I had a snowball's chance in hell of making that happen, but I had to try. I was terrified of the garment bag she'd nonchalantly brought with her and draped on the back of my desk chair. I was even more terrified of the duffel bag that came with it.

Alice jumped off of me just as fast as she'd jumped on me. Damn. "No! That's totally lame!! I already have your outfit picked out for you." She ceremoniously opened the garment bag and pulled the fabric off the shoulders of the hanger, turning it so I could see.

"Ally-Angel, have I told you lately how much I love you?"

**Edward's POV**

The next morning, we continued our conversation, a bit more casually then the day before. I went into much more detail with her than I ever had before about my time tracking Victoria, and especially my time in South America, drowning in my sorrows in a filthy attic over an even filthier hovel. I even told her how I'd refused to feed on anything except the occasional rat that was unfortunate enough to cross my path.

We probably spent the most time talking about what happened _after_ Italy. I think I finally made Bella understand why I had gone to the extremes in my over-protectiveness, and she showed me how in her eyes it was just another form of rejection, adding to her inferiority complex.

Then we talked about Jasper. Not about the betrayal, that was well covered territory by this point. We were finally able to talk about the good he brought her, and she for him. We were able to talk about how he healed the part of her that was still broken when he entered her life, how he helped her find herself and gave her a sense of confidence and self-esteem. We talked about what she'd done for him. I told her truthfully how much happier and lighthearted he was when he was with her, how he was so much more in control of his bloodlust because of her. It was cleansing, and it went a long way towards restoring my trust in Bella. I explained, though, that although I was grateful for what he'd done for her, and I could even go so far as concede that we probably would not be together, or as intimate, today if it weren't for her relationship with him, that I was still afraid of him trying to take her away from me again. She understood, but just as she wasn't willing to give me up entirely before, she wasn't willing to give him up entirely now. It was proof of my newfound trust in her that I didn't even question if it was for different reasons.

Alice came over around lunchtime to deliver our costumes and do Bella's make-up for the party. Bella had asked her to do it early so that she and I could hand out candy to the children before heading over to Alice and Jasper's house. Something about she and I sitting on our front porch with flickering jack-o-lanterns we had carved together lining the walk, Monster Mash playing in the background, handing out candy to little children dressed up in costumes saying 'trick or treat' just seemed so – domesticated. So human. I loved it. It was the first time I'd ever handed out candy for Halloween. No matter where we'd lived, we were always a safe distance from neighbors, secluded on the outskirts of town and not likely to get trick-or-treaters. Bella turned to me, a silly grin on her face. Three little children came to the door dressed as Lock, Shock, and Barrel. Their parents saw us in our Jack and Sally costumes and asked if they could take a picture. We gladly posed with the children, and Bella gave them her email so they could send her a copy. A little while later, a boy in a vampire costume came to the porch. Bella didn't flinch nor did her smile fade one iota as she put a double portion of candy into his plastic pumpkin and wished him a Happy Halloween. She turned to me and winked.

"What can I say? I have a thing for vampires," she teased. I found peace in that. The pain of our past was truly behind us now, no longer just swept under the rug and left to fester, but truly gone.

When the last Reese's cup had been handed out and the jack-o-lantern candles were blown out, we hopped on the bike and headed for Alice and Jasper's. I said a silent prayer along the way that all went well with this party.

**Felix's POV**

I looked pretty good if I did say so myself. Black tuxedo, authentic vampire cape, a little white make-up to make me look even paler, artificial blood dripping out of the corner of my mouth. I wanted to use real blood but Heidi wouldn't let me. I refused to use those stupid plastic vampire 'fangs' though. For one thing, they looked ridiculous. Besides, they would get in the way of any real biting I might want to do.

For all my attempts, I could not convince Heidi to purchase any costume with the word "Sexy" in front of it. I felt a little bad for her when she scowled, saying that she'd had to wear her 'sexy costume' every day in Italy. I never really thought about what her life was like there, never considered if she enjoyed being a fisher. I was too busy enjoying the room service meals and the occasional hookup.

But here in the states, she was a totally different person. She looked younger, more innocent, more carefree. It was…sweet. So, although she would have looked scrumptious in the sexy nurse's outfit, I had to admit that she looked lovely as a southern belle. She looked like a virginal debutante ready for her first ball in her white ruffled dress with pale pink trim and hooped skirt. She even had a parasol to match. Her hair was pulled up on the sides and flowed in banana curls down her back. She had minimal makeup on, and I realized she didn't need it. She was beautiful. I snuck up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist to capture her in a hug, laying my chin down on her shoulder.

"Are you sure you don't want to just skip this party and let me take you upstairs and ravish you, my dear?" Heidi chuckled before turning around to hug me.

"Felix, you are my oldest friend, you know that?" I hugged her tight and pulled back to kiss her nose. _I think the Cullens are wearing off on me. I'm turning into a pansy_. "Yes, and you are mine. In fact, besides Demitri, you are the only friend I've ever had before moving here."

"Which is why I know that it's not me you want to ravish. There's a certain strawberry blonde human at that party tonight that you're dying to get in your bed." I laughed. "Just remember," she continued, "No repeat performances. We can't chance any of those girls figuring out that you didn't feel cold to them because of poor circulation."

"I don't do encores, you know that." She was really getting attached to our life here. Truth be told, so was I. The Cullens had become fast friends, and I was fascinated by Kelly. I could see myself going back for seconds where she was concerned, that was, if she ever let me have her in the first place. Something about a woman that can hold her own against me that turns me on.

**Jasper's POV**

"Alice! In case you forgot, you and I are not married anymore! Which means I get to pick out my own clothes!" I stood staring at the outfit, and I use that term loosely, laying on my bed and scowled. Alice pranced in.

"Yes, technically that may be true, but there are people that will be there tonight that don't know that, won't there? Besides, I picked out everyone's outfits, not just yours, so deal with it. Now hurry up, Emmett's going to be here soon."

"You do know that this isn't what real cowboys wear, right?" I asked her with one eyebrow raised.

"And your point is?" she asked with one hand on her jutted-out hip.

"No point, Alice. You win," I said, defeated.

"Good. You're gonna look hot in that."

"Hot?" I asked her with one eyebrow raised. "Who the hell do I have to look _hot_ for?"

"Oh, you never know," she sang as she flitted out of the room. I turned back to the costume with a heavy sigh. At least she was letting me wear my own boots. I undressed and put the chaps on first. They were low-rise, so I had to go commando. Blue jeans, with black leather over them, starting with a curve to match the lower curve of my ass cheeks and going all the way down to the lower hem except for a small area of just denim behind each knee to make them more flexible to walk in. They were skin tight around my ass and thighs, flaring into a boot cut on the bottom to allow room to slide over my well worn black Dingo cowboy boots. There was a wide black leather belt with a large oval silver belt buckle with a mustang raised on its hind legs in the middle. There was no shirt, just a black leather vest with no buttons. And, of course, a black felt cowboy hat. It looked more like something you would see at a male revue show, I thought as I double checked that the seams on the pants were real and not Velcro or something. I shook my head and laughed as I got dressed.

I could already hear the music playing downstairs. As I descended the stairs, I saw that Edward and Bella were there, looking like quite the perfect couple, as were Kelly and Lacie and a few of their girlfriends. I couldn't help but laugh at Kelly's outfit. She had a tight black scoop-neck t-shirt with blue jeans, a black leather jacket, a large silver cross necklace, a blonde wig pulled up into a ponytail, and a belt holding a couple of large wooden stakes. Buffy. And Lacie was dressed as Willow. Obviously, Kelly had overheard Felix's rant about his 'irresistible' vampire outfit and had dressed accordingly. Hysterical. I looked around and realized that Felix and Heidi were not here yet. Neither was Adrian. I said I silent prayer yet again that nothing go wrong tonight. Evil pixie.

No sooner had that thought entered my mind, then Alice appeared, dressed as none other than Vidia, the evil fairy from Tinkerbell. Her wig, black hair, long and flowing, made her look even lovelier than usual, especially when paired with the maroon fairy costume with shimmering, translucent wings. She looked at me and smirked. "What? I figure if the shoe fits…" I laughed and kissed her cheek as she walked by.

Bella and Edward came up to us then. Bella had a glass of green punch in her hand, with a candy gummy finger floating in it among the ice. I could smell the vodka in it. _I'll have to keep an eye on her_, I thought, before reminding myself that it wasn't my job anymore. Edward tilted his head at me, but said nothing.

Kelly and Lacie came up and hugged everyone, thanking Alice and I for throwing the party. Kelly looked at Bella and asked if she could steal Edward for a dance, taking him to the makeshift dance floor we had made in the living room. Bella nodded her head with a smile. I started to walk away, not wanting to be tempted, when the next song started playing. I immediately turned around.

"May I have the pleasure of this dance, ma'am," I asked, laying the southern drawl on thick. Bella giggled and accepted my hand as I led her to the dance floor.

"Certainly," she said. I pulled her into my arms, breathing deeply. "You make for a very sexy cowboy," she teased, and I would have been overjoyed if the statement wasn't immediately followed by a wave of regret. I decided to tease her anyway.

"You know how the song goes, darlin'…save a horse, ride a cowboy." I bucked my hips a little against hers and heard her soft gasp of shock. I pulled her flush against me as we started dancing. I felt concern coming from Edward as he turned to watch us, but it quickly changed to trust, and he went back to his casual conversation with Kelly as they danced. I bent down and began singing the words softly to Bella.

_Looking back, on the memory of  
The dance we shared beneath the stars above  
For a moment, all the world was right  
How could I have known, that you'd ever say goodbye  
_

_And I, I'm glad I didn't know  
The way it all would end, the way it all would go  
Our lives, are better left to chance  
I could have missed the pain,  
But I'd have had to miss  
The dance._

I squeezed her tighter to me, completely caught up in the moment. I ran my hands up and down her warm back, wishing she weren't wearing an itchy red wig, keeping me from burying my fingers in her hair. I felt her try to pull back a little, starting to feel uncomfortable and a little guilty, but I also felt enough affection from her to give me the courage to try and prolong the moment. _Just a little longer_, I thought, as I breathed the words into her ear.

_Holding you, I held everything  
For a moment, wasn't I the king  
But if I'd only known, how the king would fall  
Then who's to say, you know I might have changed it all._

_And I, I'm glad I didn't know  
The way it all would end, the way it all would go  
Yes my life, is better left to chance  
I could have missed the pain,  
But I'd have had to miss  
The dance._

Bella squeezed her arms around me to give me a hug and then pulled back. I kept my hands on her hips and looked into her eyes. "Please, Bella?" I begged with a cracked voice. I wasn't even sure what exactly I was begging her for. I just needed…more. She looked at me, heartbroken and guilty with a sad smile as she put her hand on my cheek. I leaned into it and closed my eyes, relishing the warmth of her soft skin on mine.

Edward came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, his emotions hidden behind his calm. _I'm sorry, Edward,_ I thought. _I'm trying. _Bella released me and put her hands over his. I opened my eyes to see her smiling back at him. She was thankful to him for understanding, I supposed. He looked at me and then glanced off to the left with just his eyes, not moving his head at all from Bella's shoulder. I followed his gaze. Felix and Heidi were standing there, both watching the scene with confusion and suspicion. SHIT.

I looked back at Bella and Edward. "I'm sorry, both of you," I said before heading out the backdoor. I was just about to run when I realized that it would probably make the situation that much worse. Instead I plopped down on the patio steps and put my head in my hands.

I caught the scent of wildflowers before Heidi sat down beside me, not paying a bit of mind to how the damp wood of the patio would most likely stain her beautiful white dress.

"You are the epitome of a southern belle, Heidi. Believe me, I would know," I said with a sad smile before turning my eyes back to the ground.

"You really care for her," she stated. It was not a question. My mind was a blur of thoughts, going over every possible response and its potential outcome. "Don't worry," she said, surprising me. "I'm not going to say anything. You are a good friend, and you've been listening to my problems patiently for weeks. I don't know why, but you've very quickly become almost as close as Felix to me, and I've known him for over a century. I think it might have something to do with the fact that you smell like magnolias and pecan pie. I can't get enough of it, I'm embarrassed to say."

"It's because I'm your singer, and you're mine," I blurted out without even thinking.

"What?!" she asked, and my head shot up with the realization of what I had done. Shit. Damn. Fuck. Just then, I heard Adrian's voice in the living room, and thought back to Alice's vision. She said that she saw me telling Heidi we were each other's singers and then the vision went black. I chuckled as it suddenly made sense. Well, at least it wasn't because we all died.

I turned to look at Heidi. "I can't resist your scent, either. I feel a pull to be near you, to drink in your perfume as much as possible. Plus, I can't feel your emotions, and I can't affect yours. Alice's theory is that if either of us were human, we would be each other's singers." I shrugged, still not sure how much I bought it.

"Well, that makes sense," she said with a chuckle. "What are you going to do about Bella? Does Alice know? She must realize she's not your true mate if you have romantic feelings for Bella."

"Alice knows. She thinks I'll get over it in time," I answered honestly, well, honestly with strategic omissions. "What am I going to do, Heidi? It hurts so much." Heidi put one arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to her so I could lay my head on her shoulder. She rubbed her hand up and down my forearm soothingly, leaning her head on mine. I was enveloped in her scent and began taking deep breaths, each one calming me just a little bit more. I closed my eyes and allowed her presence to comfort me.

"Everything happens for a reason, Jasper. It'll all work out, you'll see." I didn't see how, not without Bella in my life, but I nodded my head anyway. I couldn't risk talking about this anymore with her. In my state of mind, I'd be spilling my guts to her about everything, and then we'd all be in even more danger.

"Come on, darlin'," I said, standing and offering her my hand to help her stand. "It would be a shame to let a costume this beautiful go to waste."

**Edward's POV**

"You alright, Bella?" I asked, turning her in my arms as Jasper made his way outside.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just worried…" I put my finger over her lips to stop her. I knew what she meant, and I was worried too, but voicing those concerns within earshot of Heidi and Felix was not going to do any of us any good. I was beginning to feel bad about not being forthright with them, but at this point, it was for their protection as much as it was for ours.

"Bella!" Emmett yelled as he barged through the front door. All eyes turned to him as he barreled his way over to us. He looked ridiculous with his bright purple suit with leopard print lapels, lime green satin shirt with only the last two buttons buttoned, white snakeskin shoes, and a purple fedora with a lime green feather popped out of the purple trim. He had a ton of fake 'bling' and was carrying a cane with an eight ball handle.

"Oh my God, Emmett!" Bella squealed in delight as she jumped into his open arms.

"Bella, how are you gonna be one of my ho's looking like a rag doll?" he asked, kissing her cheek.

"Your 'ho's'?" she asked, laughing.

"Sure! There's no bidness like ho bidness!" he said as he stood back and put his hands out in a 'check me out' stance, before turning slowly in a circle for Bella's approval.

"Very…you, Emmett," Bella appraised, rolling her eyes.

"Why, thanks, Bella! Although I must admit Alice picked out the outfit for me," he said with a shrug before turning to me. "Eddie! How's it hanging, man?" I shook my head at him as gave him a hug.

"Been too long, Emm."

"True, but on the other hand, I've really enjoyed our phone conversations lately," he said suggestively, wagging his eyebrows and winking at me. Bella cocked her head to the side and looked at me questioningly. I just shook my head. Emmett laughed, hearty and deep in his chest before kissing the top of Bella's head. "Nothing for you to worry about, sugar. Just guy talk." Bella smiled and shook her head at him.

"Adrian's here, I'm going to go say 'Hi' and leave you two to your _guy talk_. But I'm warning you right now, I see you break out the nail polish and ice cream and I'm staging an intervention." She gave me a quick peck of a kiss, still laughing, before she headed off in Adrian's direction.

"Ain't life grand?" Emmett asked.

**Adrian's POV**

_Don't hug Ally. Don't kiss Ally. Don't approach her before you approach Bella. You can ask her to dance, but only once and not until after you've danced with Bella and Kelly. When you DO dance with Ally, keep your hands to yourself. Think of dead cats or something so you don't get aroused and give us away. __Act as if you don't know where everything is, such as the bathroom or the stuff in the kitchen. _I mentally went over the very long list of rules Ally had set down for me as I walked up the sidewalk of my own house, missing the sound of my footsteps on the porch before adding one of my own. _Don't talk about the wedding. _This was going to be a long night.

Luckily, Bella saw me almost as soon as I got in the door. "Adrian!" she yelled.

"Hells Bells, only you could dress up as Sally as still look FINE!" I said as I hugged her tight. I missed her so damn much it hurt. I couldn't wait for Christmas break to get here.

"You're looking mighty fine, yourself!" she said enthusiastically, stepping back to take in my Rat Pack era Frank Sinatra costume, complete with spats and fedora. "You know, I might just have switch my Cary Grant crush over to Frankie now," she teased. "I'm tempted to set up the karaoke machine and make you sing 'The Way You Look Tonight.'"

"Not until I've had more than a few glasses of that witches' brew. Hey, is your dad still coming next week for the Michigan game?" I still couldn't believe it. We were 9-0, ranked #1 in the both the BCS and Coaches poll, and were getting ready to play our archrival, the #2 ranked Michigan Wolverines. The winner will be named the Big 10 Champion and move on to play in the National Championship. Not only that, but I was being talked about as the underdog for the Heisman. No freshman has ever won. Hell, only one sophomore has won in the history of the award. I thought for sure my parents would fly up for the game, but they were apparently heading to Hawaii on vacation and couldn't be bothered. Something about my mother not liking the cold. Whatever. So I saved my seats in the parent's section for Charlie and Emmett. I knew they would appreciate them.

"Absolutely! He's really excited. I'm a little nervous about him being here," she said cryptically, and I nodded in agreement. Of course, Charlie should be nothing compared to the minefield this party was sure to be. A dance mix of 'Grim Grinning Ghosts' came on.

"Come on, let's dance!"

**Felix's POV**

"Alice, what was all that about?" I asked. Her jaw was dropped slightly, but she didn't appear as shocked as I would have expected, considering we just witnessed her husband hanging all over Bella of all people. Not that I blamed him, but still.

"I have no idea," she said dully. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Something is not quite right. I was distracted from my thoughts when Kelly and Lacie walked by me.

"You'd better watch out, vamp," Kelly said over her shoulder with a smirk.

"Alice, what is Kelly dressed as?" I asked as I watched her hips sway seductively.

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's a television show that used to be real popular here. Lacie's dressed up as Buffy's best friend, Willow, who was a lesbian witch." My cock twitched at the naughty thoughts that statement created.

"So I tell her I'm dressing as a vampire, and she decides to dress as a slayer? I think the gauntlet has been laid down, don't you think? Well, if she wants to play, I can play. Excuse me, dear." I smirked as I followed after Kelly, grabbing her by the hips and lifting her off her feet, carrying her onto the dance floor. She fought me for a minute, but then huffed in defeat and started to dance. I pulled her tight against me so there could be no question of her affect on me as we grinded to the music.

"Do you feel what you do to me? Don't you realize that you're the one that I want?" I could smell her arousal, and it was so sweet.

"I'm warning you, vamp, you're gonna get staked." I glanced down at her wooden stakes in her pretend utility belt. I pulled one out of its holder as she turned around to face me.

"You mean, you intend to cause me harm…with _this_?" I asked incredulously as I took the tip between my fingers and turned it to dust. Her eyes grew wide and I immediately realized my mistake.

"What…how did you…that's not possible…?" she stuttered. I needed to distract her, give me some more time to think of a plausible explanation. So I did the only thing I could think of. I dropped the stake on the ground, pulled her to me and kissed her. I took advantage of the fact that her mouth was agape and plunged my tongue into her mouth, caressing hers, silently pleading with her. _Forget what you saw. Let me make you feel good. Let me make you forget everything else._ I praised the gods when she began returning my kiss.

"Excuse me," a young man with blond hair said, tapping me on the shoulder. "Mind if I cut in?"

I groaned as her lips released me. "Adrian!" she cried, pulling from my grasp and hugging him.

"Dance with me?" he asked, already leading her several steps away from me. Behind them, Edward was dancing with Bella, a smirk on his face. I had a sneaking suspicion he sent the human to interrupt us on purpose. I would need to find a way to reassure him and Jasper that I mean Kelly no harm. I bowed deeply to Kelly and Adrian and walked backwards off the dance floor. I needed some advice. I looked around for her, shocked to find her dancing with Jasper. He looked as if he were in pain, his fists clutching the back of her dress, his breaths bordering on frantic. Heidi caught my eye and shook her head as if to say 'don't worry about it.'

What a strange night this was turning out to be. Alice surprised me, appearing at my side with almost no warning. "So what was with the little He-Man display? First picking her up as though she were a feather, and then turning her wooden stake to dust. We're lucky she's the only one who noticed that," Alice whispered at a tenor the humans would not be able to pick up on. She sounded more sympathetic than angry, though, which was more than I deserved. If one of the Cullens had made a similar mistake, would I have been so generous?

"I forgot myself. She gets under my skin."

"Yeah, love'll do that to ya," Alice quirked.

Love? "Preposterous." Lust, definitely. Fascination, certainly. Infatuation, maybe. But love? Inconceivable. What did I really know about her? That she was a music major, a wonderful cellist who loved Italian operas. That she was unfortunately a descendant of the late, great Major Jasper Whitlock, and therefore unknowingly under the direct protection of the Cullens. That she had a kind heart and a sharp tongue. That she had lips made for kissing and long, creamy legs that just begged for me to take up residence between them and never, ever leave.

"Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that. Wanna dance?" she asked. Alice was being so nice, especially considering Jasper's odd behavior had him in the arms of two women already tonight, neither of which was his wife.

"It would be my pleasure."

**Edward's POV**

This party was quickly getting out of hand. So far, Jasper has come close to blowing our cover twice, first with his little display with Bella and then with his confession and subsequent latching onto Heidi. Now Felix has potentially exposed us to Kelly with his lust-driven negligence. All we need is for Adrian to publicly profess his love for Alice and Emmett to shine a spotlight on his chest to turn himself into a portable disco ball and this party will be a perfect disaster.

"Kelly's coming over to talk to us," I whispered to Bella. "Just follow my lead."

"Bella, Edward, can I talk to you guys for a minute?" Kelly asked, biting on her fingernails. I'd already heard from their thoughts what had happened. Time to do damage control.

"Sure. I could use some fresh air. Why don't we go for a walk outside for a few?" Kelly nodded her head and I led them through the crowd to the back patio.

"I don't know how to say this, but something is really weird about Felix. I mean, he's so strong, like superhero strong. His hands are always ice cold, and from what Lacie tells me, that's not the only thing about him that's cold. And everytime I look at him, my brain turns to mush and all I can think about is jumping his bones."

Bella and I shared a quick glance, trying to suppress our laughter. "Well, Kelly, I can tell you that Felix spends a lot of time at the gym, it makes sense that he's strong."

"Yeah, have you seen his arm muscles? They're almost as big as Emmett's," Bella added.

"And I've heard him talking to Alice about circulation problems, which might explain why his…extremities…are cold," I continued. Bella nodded in agreement.

"As for him dazzling you, I think that's all you, Kelly," Bella said with a chuckle.

"Dazzling me?" Kelly asked.

"Well, that's what I call it when Edward gets me all befuddled and distracted," Bella explained.

"No…that's not it…I mean I don't…I mean, he doesn't. Aw, hell." Bella smiled knowingly at her.

"On that note, I'm going to go squeeze a dance in with my pimp-daddy-big-brother before we call it a night. I'm not sure I can handle much more excitement for one evening."

I nodded my head and kissed her on the cheek. "I'm going to see if Heidi wants to dance. Jasper's being very gentlemanly keeping her entertained since she's new in town, but I'm sure Alice is anxious for him to take her on a spin around the dance floor."

Luckily, Jasper got the hint, and released Heidi with no complaints, and went off to dance with Alice, making a good show of being just as touchy-feely with her as he had been with Bella and Heidi. More, actually, peppering tiny kisses along the crook of Alice's neck and telling her he loved her loud enough for Heidi and Felix to hear. It was the first intelligent thing he'd done all night.

"You're very understanding about your brother," Heidi said. "I'm not sure there are many men who would be okay with that."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I trust Bella. I know she loves me." It was heartwarming to realize that it was the truth. I did, finally, trust Bella, even around Jasper. "Besides, Jasper is a good man, and my brother. I can't hold it against him. If I attacked every man who lusted after Bella in one form or another, I would significantly reduce both the human and vampire population," I whispered. Heidi laughed.

_Son of a bitch, feeling up my Ally. Fucker better get his lips off her. Right. Fucking. Now. _"Thank you for the dance, Heidi, but you'll have to excuse me." I really didn't know how many more fires I could put out tonight. I caught Adrian when he was about 10 feet away from Alice and Jasper and grabbed him by the back of his jacket collar, pulling him back as inconspicuously as I could. "You really don't want to do that, Adrian."

"Oh, Edward, I think I really do. Come on, I saw him earlier. Tell me you don't want a shot at him too," he hissed through clenched teeth just as I pulled him outside.

"Calm. Down."

"No way. He's having too much fun going above and beyond the call of duty if you ask me."

"Adrian, I realize that you're upset, but I can promise you that Jasper is not enjoying this party. He did what he had to do with Alice to cover his tracks. It was damage control, nothing more. Try using those meditation exercises I taught you. Believe me, it'll help." Adrian took several, deep, cleansing breaths and pulled himself together.

"I'm out of here. Tell Bells I said goodnight, 'kay?"

"Sure thing. I sent you an email regarding some more of the arrangements we discussed. Check it when you get home; it'll give you something to look forward to," I said with a smile. "Oh, and hey! I finished the Guide!"

"No shit! Good for you! I'd love to have the heart-to-heart about whatcha learned, but I gotta get back to the dorm before curfew. Not that I want to stick around here right now, anyway."

"I understand, believe me. 'Night, Adrian."

"Night, Edward."

I went back in the house to see the party dying down. Thank God. Kelly and Lacie were saying their goodbyes. I heard in Kelly's thoughts that she was considering giving Felix her number, or kissing him goodbye, but in the end she just waved at him on her way out the door, pausing to give me a hug and thank me for the pep talk. Emmett was sitting on the couch with Bella, regaling her with stories about Spike the rhino. Heidi and Felix were dancing, and Alice and Jasper were starting to clean up the mess. Once the last human was gone except for Bella, we used our true speed to clean up the rest in 30 seconds or so.

"That's what I love about living with vampires. I never have to worry about doing housework," she teased. I rolled my eyes at her, sitting down behind her, taking her wig off and kissing her neck before I started pulling all the bobby pins out of her hair. When the last pin was gone, I ran my fingers through her hair, massaging her scalp. Bella leaned her head back and closed her eyes, humming in appreciation.

Emmett nodded his head, approving of my public display of affection, I supposed. Bella yawned. "Come on, love, let's go home. See you tomorrow, Emm?"

"Yup," he said, standing to hug Bella goodnight. "I'm going to stay here and harass Alice and Jasper for a while. I'll harass you guys tomorrow. Love ya, sis."

"Love you, too, Emm. Night." Bella barely made it inside the house, flopping on the bed, immediately falling into a deep sleep. It had been a long night for everyone, I thought with a sigh.

**Next stop on the NCB world tour is Pontefract, England. Enjoy your lap dance with Adrian, ladies! I know I had some stops to make in Scotland, Ireland and Wales -- remind me where to go, ladies! **


	37. Chapter 36: Ohio State vs Michigan

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own this storyline, my OCs, and a new guinea pig named Caramel.**

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out. Contrary to popular belief, I actually do have a life outside fan fiction, and lately it's been kicking my butt. Theme song this chapter is Lean on Me by Bill Whithers. CONGRATS KRIS! Mad Love to Readingtime. Love you hard core, bb.**

**We are down to the last six chapters after this, not counting the epilogues! To thank you for all your continued support, I'm going to take a page from my girl DefinitelyStaying's book. For every thousand mark I hit, starting with 7,000, I will do an outtake of your choosing. Tell me in your reviews what you want to see and then I'll put a poll up. Want to see Alice/Adrian's first time? A certain chapter from one of the girls' POV? I've even had a request for an Adrian/Jasper lemon (I might have to get Trish to help me with that one!) I feed your addiction to fiction...thank you for feeding my addiction to reviews!**

**Edward's POV**

The next morning, Bella was especially quiet, gnawing on her Frosted Brown Sugar and Cinnamon Pop-Tart in deep thought. I warmed up her barely touched coffee and leaned on my elbows on the counter. There would once have been a day when I would have lectured her on the lack of nutritional benefits to her breakfast, but I have since learned to let her make her own decisions. Hopefully she will be changed soon anyway and it will be irrelevant.

"What's on your mind, love?" Bella's brows bunched up for a moment while she considered my question, then smoothed themselves out just as quickly.

"I'm worried about Jasper," she stated without elaborating.

"I am, too. I've noticed that, with the exception of last night and the other day when you were playing Frisbee, you haven't spent much time around him lately. Why is that?"

"I thought that giving him space was the right thing to do. I don't want to do anything to make this any harder on him."

"I understand, but did it occur to you that keeping your distance might be part of the reason why he's having a hard time right now? He hasn't only lost the woman he loves, he lost his best friend. I can't imagine how much harder it would have been for me those long, torturous months without you if you hadn't made such a point to keep me included in your life, even as just a friend."

"Yes, I did make a point to keep you in my life, and what happened? I led you on and hurt Jasper in the process. I don't want to make the same mistakes twice." Bella's face was contorted with determination, but her eyes held a sadness that I didn't ever want to see on her face again.

"I understand where you're coming from, but Bella, you don't want to go from one extreme to the other, either. By all means, make sure you don't lead him on. But it's okay to be his friend, Bella. Right now he's all alone. Who does he have to talk to? You're here with me, Adrian is living in the dorms and Alice spends most of her time with him. Emmett's here now, which is good, but he's not staying that long. Heidi and Felix have become surprising friends, but they are still Volturi and there is a necessary wall between us and them that can't be crossed. He is trying to move on, but the bottom line is he misses you. I'm sure you miss him, too, and I don't want you to resent me down the road for losing that friendship on my account. I think it would help him get over you if he knew he hadn't lost you entirely, and it would be good for the three of us to all try and get past the awkwardness we're feeling right now. He is for all intents and purposes my brother. We can't avoid him for all eternity, you know."

Bella's eyes softened a bit, but she still looked hesitant. "Are you sure? I mean, I didn't realize that I was leading you on, but I was. The last thing I want to do is hurt him or you any more than I already have."

I walked beside her and stood next to her barstool, settling myself between her legs and taking her face in my hands. "Bella, my love. You said that even when you were in love with him, your feelings for me never died, never faded. Is the reverse now true? Are you still in love with Jasper?"

Bella shook her head. "No."

"Well, that's the difference, isn't it? I know that you're mine just as I'm yours. You know it, too. You won't lead him on."

"But I do love him, Edward. He will always have a special place in my heart. Are you really okay with me being his friend, staying close to him?"

I surprised myself as much as her with the sincerity of my response. "I am. You can be friends with Jasper without fear of me getting jealous."

Bella rewarded me with a huge smile before wrapping her arms around my neck, grabbing fistfuls of hair and pulling me to her for a breathtaking kiss.

**Jasper's POV**

The day after the Halloween Party from Hell, I decided to go hunting with Heidi. She wanted to talk to me, and I dreaded the conversation. Whatever it was she wanted to say, it couldn't be good.

After we'd both gotten our fill of deer, we decided to go sit in our usual spot to talk. I noticed she didn't grimace at the taste and hadn't spilled a drop this time. She was getting the hang of it. I was happy for her, she seemed very proud of herself. I was proud of her, too.

"So…about last night," Heidi began, then trailed off, not knowing quite what to say.

"What did Felix say?" I asked, not sure how to broach the subject. I mean, it wasn't like I could come out and ask her if I'd let the cat out of the bag in my grief.

"He was more concerned with his slip-up in front of Kelly than about the details of your personal life. I think his exact words were 'Of course he has a thing for Bella. We all do.' I, on the other hand, am not so easily fooled, Jasper. There is more going on than you're telling me."

Shit. I frantically tried to think of something while still maintaining a calm expression on my face. "I…"

"Stop right there. I don't want to know. I have a sneaking suspicion that things are better off all over if I don't know." I turned to look at her, and although I could not confirm nor deny her suspicions, I wanted her to see in my eyes that I was thankful. She nodded ever so slightly, but had a scowl on her face.

"We've been called back to Italy," she explained quietly. "As soon as the quarter is over, we have to go back, just for Christmas break, for an 'on hand' update. We should be back before school starts again. Or at least, that's what they're saying now. Only the goddesses know what they'll say after Aro has gotten his update." Suddenly my silent thank you seemed like a bad idea. Aro would see it. I was beginning to wonder just how much more I could possibly screw this up, although I couldn't find it in my heart to regret dancing with Bella last night. Just feeling her in my arms relaxed me in a way I hadn't felt since she moved in with Edward. It gave me hope for us.

Then another thought hit me. Felix and Heidi were going to be gone over Christmas break. Alice, Adrian, Edward, and Bella will all be gone, too. I would have asked to come along, citing the ruse as my excuse, but I didn't want to make things harder, for them or for me. Besides, after last night I doubted Adrian would want to talk to me again for a while. I was surprised Edward handled everything as well as he did. Somehow he'd managed to save all our asses one at a time.

Either way, I wasn't going to England. That meant that unless I could talk Emmett into staying longer than he'd planned, I was going to be all alone for two weeks. Before Bella, that wouldn't have bothered me so much. Alice and Rosalie used to take extended shopping trips together, and I would often take the opportunity to venture out on my own somewhere, free from humans and invading emotions of any kind. But now, the thought put a pit in my stomach. As much as I missed Bella, she was still here, still near me. I still got to see her every day, talk to her almost every day. Touch her once in a while, even if just platonically. And when I couldn't be with her, I had Heidi's friendship to distract me and make me smile. Solitude was the last thing I wanted right now.

Plus, I was going to be worried out of my mind. How could I keep Bella safe from the wrong side of an ocean? And I was terrified of what would happen to Heidi and Felix on their return to the Volturi, especially after last night's debacle.

The rest of the week was… interesting. Kelly was avoiding Felix even more than before, and it was only after I had assured him no fewer than half a dozen times that she wasn't afraid of him did he calm down and return to his regular cocky self. In History, the only class I had with Heidi, Felix, and Kelly, I had to contain my snickers when Felix began passing Kelly notes. Kelly's emotions flitted from annoyed to angry to frustrated to aroused. I glanced at Heidi and pretended to fan myself, shifting my eyes towards them and back. She laughed so loud the teacher cleared his throat in warning.

Emmett came with us to most of our lecture classes where he could sneak in without the professors noticing, having a ball causing a ruckus and then showing the teacher up by proving that he knew more than they did. It was just the comic relief we all needed. Almost made up for the 'I'm staying at your place cuz I don't want to hear Edward and Bella doin' the wild thing' remark, which was, of course, immediately followed with a 'sorry, bro' that didn't really soften the blow much.

Bella was making a point to pay more attention to me. I could see the worried look in her eyes when she looked at me, even if she was hiding her emotions. She would send me text messages throughout the day, even called me a couple of times 'just to say hi.' I wasn't sure what to make of it. Before I could think too much about it, my phone started singing 'We've Got Tonight.'

"Bella." Her name never came out normal anymore; it always came out like a sigh, a relaxing breath.

"Hey, Jasper. How you doin'?" _Miserable. Wretched. Depressed as hell that you're not here in my arms where you belong…_

"I'm fine, darlin'." _Much better now_. "Is there a particular reason you called?"

"No, I just wanted to say hi." There's that phrase again. _I just want to say I love you. Would that be okay?_

"Hi!" I teased. "Are you looking forward to your dad coming tomorrow?"

"Would it be terrible of me to say no? In all honesty, I'm a nervous wreck about it. I never told him about moving in with Edward."

"Why not?" Once more I felt something I should know better than feel by now. Hope.

"In the beginning, I thought that maybe this whole mess would be done and over with before he visited, and things would be back to normal and he would never need to know." She paused, and I knew she was thinking the same thing I was. That was before it changed. Before she realized she was still in love with Edward. "But now…" Her voice trailed off.

"But now things are different, and even if they were gone, you might still be there," I whispered.

"Yeah," she said, sounding suddenly awkward and uncomfortable with the conversation. I could kick myself for doing that to her. Here she was, opening up to me, turning to me about a problem. I should be jumping for joy, not reminding her about things I'd rather she not think about in the first place.

"Well, if you want, you could move back here, just for the weekend. We could find some way to distract Heidi and Felix, maybe sic Emmett on them, or have Alice take them shopping out of state. You could avoid the whole thing, and your dad would never need to know." I knew my idea was self-serving, but I didn't care. It upset me, though, to think that what started out as her pretending to be with Edward had morphed into us having a conversation where I'm suggesting she pretend to still be with me. I tried to shake it off. She still loves me; she's said so. She loves us both. That means there is still a shred of hope for me.

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Jasper. It would be much too risky. Besides, I hate lying to Charlie, and I need to tell him sooner or later anyway." I could tell it was bothering her to talk about this. She didn't want me to hurt, but there was no way to stop the hurt short of her being back in my arms for good.

Then I heard Edward's voice in the background. "Ask Jasper if he wants to come over and watch a movie or something, love. Alice said she and Heidi were going hunting together since Felix has someone at their house again, although I'm not sure if she meant hunting for food or for Dolce and Gabbana. Either way, let him know he's welcome to come over here if he wants." I don't know why it bothered me so much. He was trying to be nice, I could see that. He didn't even growl at my suggestion. But still I felt betrayed. What I had interpreted as a private, intimate conversation between Bella and I was actually something totally different. To her, it was just a casual conversation she had no problem having in front of Edward. I seethed with jealousy.

"Did you hear that?" she asked pleasantly, no hint of stress in her voice.

"Yeah, I heard. Thanks, but no." Did she really think I was going to go over there, watch 'The Princess Bride' with them, smell all kinds of scents I'd rather never inhale at his house, and be happy about it?

"Why not?" she asked, this time sounding a little hurt.

"Because, Bella, although I appreciate what you're trying to do, the less time I have to spend watching you cuddle up with Loverboy, the better off my life will be." My tone was cutting and I immediately regretted it.

Silence.

Shit.

Then Edward came on the line. "Jasper, I don't think that was necessary, do you?" His voice was calmer than I would have expected.

"No, I suppose not."

"She cares about you, very much, and she's worried about how you're dealing with everything. She's trying to be your friend, the way you promised you would be for her." His brotherly pep talk was just pissing me off even more.

"Tell her I'm sorry." I hung up the phone before he could say anything else.

**Edward's POV**

Bella was distraught after her conversation with Jasper. After he bit her head off, she just stared at the phone, not knowing what to do or say. After a few moments, I took the phone out of her hand and tried talking some sense into him. I didn't think it worked, but sure enough a few minutes later there was a knock at the door.

Jasper was standing there holding a bag of popcorn in one hand and a container of Chunky Monkey ice cream in the other. He looked like he'd lost a fight – his clothes were wrinkled, his shirt was half untucked, his hair was in more disarray than mine. I looked over his shoulder to see a smug Emmett standing behind him, in similar shape. Bella smiled at Jasper's peace offering as she took the food from his hands. She gave him a kiss on the cheek to thank him, and I tried to ignore his mental debate on whether or not to turn into the kiss.

"For you, Bella. But we're not watching 'The Princess Bride,'" he teased. I rolled my eyes at him. So did Bella. Emmett smacked him in the back of the head, and then pushed Jasper across the threshold into the house so he could scoop up Bella in their usual bear hug greeting with her cute little bare feet dangling. I couldn't help but tickle them as I walked by. She squealed in delight.

We ended up on the couch, Jasper on one end, me on the other, with Bella in the middle wearing her flannel pajamas and fuzzy slippers. Emmett sprawled out on the other couch. Bella was in the mood for a classic, so we put in 'To Catch a Thief.' She fell asleep half way through the movie, her head in my lap, her legs curled up against her chest in an awkward position. In a move he didn't really contemplate before acting, Jasper took off Bella's slippers and dropped them to the floor, pulling her legs out into a more comfortable position. Bella sighed in her sleep, a half smile gracing her features as she wrapped her arms around my thigh. With her legs now draped across Jasper's lap, he began massaging her feet. I just stared at him incredulously.

"What?!" he asked in a half whisper/half hiss. "You don't need to be an empath to see she was uncomfortable. Plus, she's radiating stress. I felt it as soon as she fell asleep and quit blocking me. I reckon since I'm the one causing the tension, I ought to work some of it out for her." He turned his attention back to Bella's feet, singing Garth Brooks songs in his head. Clearly, he wasn't going to take no for an answer. I was considering whether or not it was important enough to me to make an issue out of when Emmett the Wise decided it was time for a distraction.

"What exactly is it about cat burglars that everyone finds so hot?"

"Maybe it's the thrill of the chase," Jasper mused.

"I think perhaps it's the intellectual side of it. They're not common thieves, they appreciate fine art and beautiful things. They have to research, plan for contingencies. It's almost an art form in itself." Both Jasper and Emmett rolled their eyes at me.

"Nah," Emmett replied. "It's the tight leather outfits." We all laughed, and just like that, the tension was broken and we were brothers again. We played video games for a couple of hours until Bella started to toss and turn, kicking Jasper square between his legs when she attempted to roll over. It was hard enough that there was a loud smacking noise from the bone of her heel hitting marble. I was unsuccessfully trying to hold in my amusement while Emmett hit the floor laughing. "Serves you right! Put her feet there -- get kicked in the nuts!"

Jasper got up and with all the dignity he had left, did his best South Park impersonation. "Screw you guys – I'm going home!" Emmett decided to follow after him, giving me just enough time to grab a quick shower before it was time to wake Bella up to get ready to go to the airport.

The caffeine from Bella's coffee finally kicked in about halfway to the airport.

"Sorry about last night. I didn't realize how tired I was. Did everyone play nice after I passed out?"

I chuckled at her. "Yes, we played video games and goofed around until it was time for me to get cleaned up. Although I dare say that if Jasper were human, he'd be walking funny today thanks to you." Bella looked at me clueless. She couldn't stop herself from giggling as I told her the story of the foot rub and her swift kick.

"What do you think my dad is going to say when he sees us together again?" Bella asked, chewing furiously on her lower lip.

"Well, there's only one way to find out," I replied as I parked the car. After helping her out of her seat, I took her hand and we went in to face Charlie together. We waited outside the security gate for only a few minutes before we saw him. Bella let go of my hand and ran to him. He dropped his carry-on bag and hugged her tight. I think it was the first time I'd ever seen any sort of public display of affection between the two of them. It was sweet. I held back, giving them their moment, until I saw them separate before walking up to them. I put one hand on the small of Bella's back for emotional support, and extended my other towards Charlie. He shook it, but was looking at Bella when he spoke.

"Jasper couldn't make it?" he asked.

"Um…let's get your luggage, Dad. I'll explain in the car." Charlie looked at me then, one eyebrow raised suspiciously at me. Between me being there to pick him up and Bella calling him Dad, his instincts were on high alert.

"I don't have any luggage, Bells. I'm only staying two nights; got everything I need right here." He patted his carry-on bag with pride. I hoped for his sake that Alice hadn't seen that. He'd be returning home with a seven piece luggage set, already packed with new clothes.

"Great, then let's get going," I suggested. "If we hurry, you might have time to settle in and take a nap before the game."

Charlie's thoughts showed my attempts at being polite were just serving to make him more wary. He kept having flashbacks of the time after I had left Bella in the woods. I was certain he would never completely forgive me for that. I didn't blame him.

Bella took the backseat, leaving the front for Charlie, but he chose to sit in the back with her instead, wanting to be close to his daughter every minute he could. I made a mental note to offer to switch seats with him at the football game so he could sit with Bella. I would have no problem sitting in the family section with Emmett for the game. He was appraising her intensely, she had gained a little weight, he'd noticed, and considered it a good thing. He thought she looked more beautiful than ever. But mostly he was wondering _what the hell is going on_?

"Jasper and I broke up, Charlie. I realized some things when I moved here and decided I needed to spend some time alone, to figure out some things for myself, which I did. And what I figured out was that, although I care very much for Jasper and am so grateful to him for all the ways he has touched and improved my life, I am still in love with Edward. And he's still in love with me. I moved in with him, and we are very happy together. Please be happy for me, Dad. Please?" There was a long, pregnant pause as Charlie considered everything before speaking.

"Well, I guess I always knew deep down that Edward was going to be 'it' for you. I'm not going to say I wasn't hoping you'd moved on, because I was. I don't ever want to see you that hurt again, Bells. But only our true loves can cut us that deep. Believe me, I should know." His thoughts drifted to Renee and his unrequited love for her that he carried with him still, and would until the day he died. "Edward, you got a second chance at love. It's something that only comes around once in a lifetime, if that. Don't waste it, son."

"I won't, sir," I replied reverently, glancing in the rear view mirror to smile at Bella.

"Good. Because anything like that happens to her again, I'm coming after you with a .45 and a shovel, understand?"

Even as a vampire with bulletproof skin, the Chief still made me gulp nervously at his words. "Yes, sir." Charlie turned his attention back to Bella, suddenly noticing my mother's engagement ring on her finger.

"Is there something else you two would like to tell me?"

Bella panicked, looking to me for an answer. "That is a promise ring, Charlie. It was my mother's. I wanted to give Bella a token of my love for her, to show her that I know how precious she is, and that I'm not going to take our love for granted ever again." Charlie reached forward and patted me firmly on the shoulder twice.

"Good job, son. Maybe there's hope for you yet."

We got him settled in the spare bedroom and then headed for the game. Jasper had already traded seats so that he was sitting with Emmett and Charlie could sit between Bella and Alice. _My two favorite girls, _he thought affectionately as Alice gave him a warm hug. She loved Charlie. We all settled in to watch the biggest game of the year. Charlie seemed proud of the girls' football knowledge as they bragged about the stats they knew about Adrian and all the other players. At halftime, the game was tied 7-7. Bella excused herself to go to the restroom, and Alice followed, mumbling about _the one time I leave her to do her own hair._

I saw my opportunity and took it. "Charlie, sir. I need to talk to you about something while the girls are away. I don't know if Bella told you or not, but the four of us are going to England for the Christmas holiday. Adrian has planned a surprise wedding for Alice while we are there. Carlisle and Esme aren't able to attend due to his responsibilities at the hospital. Adrian has always felt close to you, and knows how much Alice loves you, too. He wanted me to ask you if you would come with us and give Alice away." There were other reasons as well, but I couldn't mention those. "He would take care of the plane ticket, of course, and this way you could spend Christmas with Bella."

"Tell Adrian that I'd be honored, Edward." Charlie and I spent a few more moments hammering out the details before I heard the girls approaching and swiftly changed the subject.

When Adrian came back on the field, his eyes searched out mine and I gave him a thumbs up signal. He smiled like a kid at a candy shoppe. The second half was as hard fought as the first half, but with less than two minutes to go, Adrian performed a brilliant quarterback sneak to win the game 14-7, cinching up the Big Ten Championship and securing the Buckeyes a spot in the National Championship game, to be played a week after we returned from England.

The rest of the weekend was pleasant and uneventful, and Charlie even hugged me when we dropped him and Emmett off at the airport. As a matter of fact, the rest of the quarter passed by quicker than I could have imagined. Felix had finally convinced Kelly to go out with him, and although she was steadfastly refusing to sleep with him, I could tell by their thoughts and actions that they were slowly falling in love. She continued to have doubts that he was human, although the idea that he could be anything else was ludicrous to her. She still planned on doing some research online once she got home, to set her mind at ease. That was a problem to be dealt with on another day, however.

Heidi and Jasper were closer friends than ever now that they both understood the pull they felt towards one another. Heidi had her suspicions about Jasper's relationship with Alice and his relationship with Bella, but she pointedly remained silent. As far as she was concerned, it was a 'don't ask, don't tell' situation in her book, and she figured it was better off remaining that way. I didn't disagree.

I took Heidi, Felix, Alice and Bella to the airport the morning of our trip. Even though it was only going to be 15 hours before I saw Bella again, I clung to her desperately, kissing her all over her face and hugging her tight. Alice, thinking that it was because I wasn't going to see her for two weeks, held back as long as she could before dragging Bella through the security gates. After they were safely gone, I turned back to say my farewells to Heidi and Felix. Neither of them were anxious to go, knowing Caius would not be pleased with them. I felt confident, however, that we had done a well enough job with our ruse to ensure their safety. They just had to deal with explaining why they had both chosen our diet, as neither of them could bring themselves to revert to their old ways just to change the color of their eyes. Aro would know the truth regardless.

"If you get done with your update quick enough, why don't you join us in Haworth?" I assumed they would be forced to do surveillance while we were there, anyway. Might as well give them an invitation. I just hoped that they wouldn't show up until after the wedding so we could get Alice and Adrian safely off on their honeymoon first.

"Ah, thank you for the offer, Edward, but I have already promised Kelly that I would visit her in Texas if I got back from 'visiting my family' before school starts again." Felix thought back to the sweet, chaste kiss she'd given him when he left her dorm that morning. Even though he'd still not gotten any further than first base, Kelly had asked him to stay the night. _I never thought lying still for eight hours with a fully clothed human wrapped around me would be so enjoyable_, he reminisced. I knew exactly what he meant. The only thing better was lying still for eight hours with a beautiful, naked woman wrapped around you. Or better yet, spending eight hours in bed with your beautiful, naked lover and not wasting one moment lying still. I needed to stop that train of thought. Otherwise, it was going to be a very long and uncomfortable flight.

"You've got it bad, my old friend," Heidi admonished him, even while her own thoughts drifted to Jasper and her fears about him being alone in his current state of mind. Felix started to pretend to be affront to the idea, but quickly gave in.

"Yes, I suppose I do," he said with a sigh, shrugging his shoulders. In truth, between Kelly and the freedom and friendships he had found here, he was happier than he'd ever been.

I hugged them both goodbye and then returned to the parking lot to meet Adrian, who had our luggage. He handed me several garment bags as soon as I got there. He was more nervous than I'd ever seen him. Not over the flight, but over the twilight wedding planned for tomorrow evening.

"Well, here goes nothing!" He exclaimed, channeling his football persona for courage. "Game on!"

**A/N: The Naked Cullen Boys are making their way to Kingston, England. I only have one unclaimed spot left on the tour -- lemme know where they should go! **_  
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	38. Chapter 37: At Last

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do own this storyline, my OCs, and a bulk size box of Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts. I do not own the Rosebud Cottage, either, nor have I had the opportunity to meet the owners, Adrian and Caroline, but from what I've heard they are wonderful people. If they ever read my story, I hope they appreciate the free advertising. :)**

**A/N: Song theme is At Last by Etta James. I have been told this chapter is 'sufficiently sappy.' Enjoy it while it lasts! Special thanks to readingtime and the Fab Five, especially Jill, who knows Adrian even better than I do. Love you ladies H & R!**

**I know I'm putting this out before everyone had a chance to read the last chapter, I was just so excited about this one I couldn't wait any longer to share it! Poll is up for the outtakes - so far it looks like 'Edward/Bella hot, dirty, and in public lemon' would be the first outtake. This chapter is lovingly dedicated to GUMIBEAR26, who took a lot of time going back and making sure she'd reviewed every chapter so that we'd be that much closer to getting an outtake!**

**Someone asked me why I do alternate endings. I do them because I believe in every journey there is a fork in the road. Although I tend to take the road less traveled by, I always wonder what's down the other one. Luckily for me, when I write the journey, I can explore both.**

**Adrian's POV**

Fucking A. Can't this plane go any faster? What happened to the Concorde? Of course, that only flew to France, but I could swim across the English Channel faster than this. Shit.

"Even if we got there sooner, the time for the wedding would still be the same," Edward said softly. I'm sure he was trying to be calming. It wasn't fucking working. How could he be so calm?!

"Are you certain everything is prepared?" I asked, my knee bouncing subconsciously. Edward put a firm hand on my knee long enough to make me realize what I was doing and stop.

"You're going to put a hole through the floor if you keep doing that," he teased. _No I'm not, dickhead. I'm not a vamp yet, remember?_

Edward just chuckled. "Dickhead, huh? Is that any way to talk to your best man?"

"Zip it. Seriously, are you sure everything is all set?"

"I'm positive. I received a text from Adrian and Caroline just before we boarded. Everything is already decorated, the flowers have already arrived, the cake is en route, and he confirmed with the local pastor this morning. The staff all knows the cover story – the wedding is for the 'couple' staying in one of the other rooms. Bella and Alice should arrive three hours ahead of us. Bella is going to complain of being hungry after they get unpacked, and will take Alice to a café down the street for supper. I spoke with Charlie this morning. His flight should land about 20 minutes after ours. He had the final fitting for his tuxedo two days ago, and picked it up last night. Relax." I thought it was ironic that one of the owners of Rosebud Cottage, the Bed and Breakfast we were staying at, was also named Adrian. _It's odd the things you think of to distract yourself at a time like this._

Edward really did seem like he had a handle on everything, though. Thank God one of us had it under control. I was a wreck. Part of it was the conversation I had with my parents that morning. They were angry at me for not coming home for the holidays. Not because they missed me, but because it would look bad to their 'friends' during all the usual holiday parties they attended and dragged me along to. It reminded me why I didn't bother to tell them I was getting married. I tried to change the subject and asked them if they saw the game. They forgot, they said. I couldn't take any more. I hung up. I knew one of Bella's concerns about being changed was that she would be forced to leave her family behind. I had no such qualms. Bells and the Cullens were my family now, and that was more than I'd ever hoped for.

Edward agreed with me about not inviting anyone except Charlie. I wasn't trying to exclude the other Cullens, or anyone else for that matter. It was just that I wanted it to be intimate, just us. Bells was really the only person I needed there, besides Ally, of course. I knew that Alice would want a huge wedding reception with all the trimmings, and I had no problem doing that for her – _after_ we were married. But when I said 'I do' in front of Alice and God, I didn't want there to be any distractions from the moment I said those sacred vows.

Finally, we landed. Charlie's flight had arrived early, so he was waiting for us by the terminal. He shook both our hands and gave us a manly half-hug before we headed for the baggage claim. I never understood the half-hug thing. If you're going to hug somebody, fucking hug them. Who cares if it's another guy? I mean, I understand my view may be somewhat skewed being in sports, but if I'm man enough to get smacked on the ass by a dozen men every time I throw a touchdown pass, I'm man enough to hug someone the right way without getting weirded out. _Boy, I'm really grasping at straws to distract myself now_. Edward chuckled, listening in to my thoughts. _If I was a vamp, I'd be growling right now. _His chuckle turned into a full-out chortle. Stupid, mind reading vampire.

When we left Heathrow Airport, it was misty and damp. Our driver regretfully informed us that it was supposed to be like that for the next two weeks. We chuckled and told him we were used to the rain.

As we approached the ivy covered inn, I was struck by its quaint beauty. It was even more beautiful than the pictures. I saw Edward intently focused. He was listening for the voices from inside to make sure the girls weren't there. He smiled when the car stopped, a silent reassurance that everything was still going according to plan. He introduced Charlie and me to the innkeepers and we got the keys to both our rooms; The Tapestry Rose Room, which was to be mine and Ally's room after the ceremony, and the girl's room. The girls were currently in the Brontë Rose Room, which would be Bells and Edward's room. Both rooms were decorated beautifully with four poster canopy beds and tapestry décor. Charlie had his choice of any of the remaining rooms, and not surprisingly chose the Railway Room. It was the smallest room, but by far the most masculine.

We made arrangements to meet downstairs in an hour and a half. We put two of the garment bags in their room, and then retreated to ours to get ready. After the eighth time of me unsuccessfully attempting to tie the bow on my tux, Edward finally insisted I let him do it. We met Charlie in the common area and the innkeepers escorted us to the kitchen, where we could have a light meal without being seen. They prepared us a delicious plate of chicken salad with grapes and walnuts over salad greens. The pastor, Father Christopher, arrived as we were sitting down and joined us. He had brought his pianist and a soloist from his choir.

The glass atrium was decorated beautifully with red and white poinsettias covering virtually every surface and open floor space, tiny twinkling lights draped from the ceiling, just waiting to be turned on, softened with layers of white tulle. A beautiful frosted Christmas tree stood in the corner with white lights and red velvet bows. Groupings of candles filled the room. In the other corner was a white baby grand piano, the lid propped open. I reached into my tux and felt the small black silk satchel from Harry Winston in my pocket. Edward tapped me on the shoulder and looked towards the door. It was time. Nervously, I walked into the common room and waited, while everyone else disappeared into the shadows.

Ally knew before she opened the door that something was up. I was sure she'd picked up on our scents from outside, even with the rain. Even so, I don't think she was expecting to find me just inside the door, down on one knee in a tuxedo, with the custom designed diamond ring between my fingers held up to her in offering. She stopped dead in her tracks and her jaw fell open with a silent gasp. Bella had to squeeze around her to get inside, a smirk on her face. She was clearly enjoying being able to surprise Ally for the first time.

"Ally-Angel, from the moment I met you, I knew my life had been changed forever. I love everything about you. I love how hyper you are, because I know that you're happy. I love how you meddle, because I know that you just want the lives of everyone you love to be as perfect as you can make it. I even love your shopping addiction, because it gives me an excuse to join you and still seem manly. I want nothing more than to spend eternity making you happy. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Ally shook her head up and down frantically. "Now THAT is a proposal!" she squealed as she shook her left hand at me, her fingers outstretched.

"Ally, I can't put the ring on you until you stop shaking, Angel," I laughed. She stilled her hand and I slipped the ring on her finger and stood up, kissing her softly. She heard the sound of shuffling feet behind me and broke our kiss to see who it was. She screamed when she saw Edward, Charlie, and Father Christopher standing there. Just then, the lights turned on, illuminating the atrium and our makeshift altar in a warm glow. Charlie stepped forward and took Alice by the hand, leading her up the stairs.

"Come on, Alice. I have an appointment to give away a bride in half an hour, and I don't want to be late."

"Half an hour?!" she turned back to look at me and I smirked, nodding my head. Bella took the stairs behind her and laughed. We both knew how hard she was struggling to maintain human speed as she let go of Charlie's hand, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before she rushed up the stairs and into their room, slamming the door as soon as Bella got inside.

Exactly twenty eight minutes later, Bella descended the stairs in a beautiful red cocktail dress. Her hair was pulled up in an elegant French twist that accented her neck and facial features. Her heart pendant matched the outfit perfectly. With shaky hands, Bella put the boutonnieres on each of us, somehow managing to not prick her finger. Two minutes later we heard Charlie clear his throat from the top of the stairs. That was our signal.

The pianist began playing Canon in D Major as we took our places. Bella walked down the aisle first, serving as both maid of honor and flower girl, tossing red and white rose petals from a tiny white wicker basket on the ground as she walked down the short aisle.

The next moment, Ally appeared in the doorway on Charlie's arm. She had never before looked more an angel then she did at that moment. Her hair was tamed, tiny baby's breath sprigs in red and silver pinned in her hair. Her dress was perfect, white with a red velvet ribbon going around the empire waist meeting in a tiny bow under her perfect breasts. The scoop neckline accented her features beautifully. Tiny embroidered red roses adorned the hem of the outermost layer of chiffon, falling just above her knee. Her tiny feet were ensconced in white satin strapped heels accented with crystals that played off the tiny lights with every step she took. In her hands was a round bouquet of tightly packed red rosebuds. But the most beautiful thing about her was most definitely her smile. Her eyes twinkled in the candlelight and her smile could light a room. When they reached the front of the room, Alice jumped up to hug Charlie and kiss his cheek.

"Does this mean I get to call you Dad from now on?" she whispered in his ear.

"Considering that my own daughter doesn't, it would be nice if someone did," he whispered back. He kissed her cheek awkwardly before placing her hand in mine and taking his seat. We turned to face Father Christopher and noticed the drizzle outside had changed to light snow, covering everything in the courtyard in a crystal coating of white, glistening in the fading sun.

The ceremony itself passed by in a blur to me. I was thankful Edward had arranged for the innkeepers to videotape it, because I was almost too nervous to function, let alone remember what happened. I vaguely recall the pastor giving a lovely speech about the sanctity of marriage, and I definitely remember going through the traditional vows, saying "I do" and slipping the platinum wedding band on Ally's finger. But it wasn't until he said "I now pronounce you man and wife" that the fog seemed to clear and it felt real. I bent down to kiss my bride and the feelings overwhelmed me as I fought back the tears of joy. "I have the great honor of presenting to you…Mr. and Mrs. Adrian Peters."

Edward and Charlie shook my hand, as did the pastor, while Ally took turns hugging everyone and scolding them playfully for keeping it from her. Then I scooped Bella into my arms and hugged her tight.

"Congratulations, Adrian! I am so happy for you!"

"Thank you for all your help, Bells and Whistles." I kissed her on the cheek once more before returning to my bride. Caroline had us all pose for pictures in front of the tree, followed by some of just Ally and me. Then the soloist began singing "At Last" and I took Alice into my arms for our first dance as man and wife.

"So, how'd I do, Mrs. Peters?" I whispered in her ear as we twirled around the small room, our few guests standing along the wall watching us with smiles on their faces.

"You did wonderfully, Mr. Peters. It was perfect." She graced my lips with another kiss. "I love everything -- the dress, the ring, the location, Charlie, everything. It's the most wonderful surprise ever."

"I'm so glad, Angel. I love you. Always and Forever."

"Always and Forever." She tucked her head under my chin as we danced. "You know I'm going to want another reception with everyone back home, right?"

I chuckled under my breath and kissed the top of her head. "I wouldn't have it any other way." As the song ended, I kissed Ally's hand. "Be right back." I walked over to Bella and held my hand out to her, leading her a few steps toward the center of the room. She followed me gracefully, expecting another song to start. Instead, I pulled her into my arms and whispered in her ear.

"It's your turn now, Wedding Bells."

I stepped aside to reveal Edward, who was behind me, down on one knee, looking hopefully up at a very shocked Bella.

**A/N: The Naked Cullen Boys are taking the Cullendale Spectactular Male Revue Show to Cardiff, Wales. Twilighterr Jasper has been waiting a very long time for her lap dance with Jazz. Bed my ladies well, gentlemen!**


	39. Chapter 38: After All

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Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do own my OCs, my storyline, and my Abbott and Costello DVD collection.

A/N: Charlie's Theme Song is "I Loved Her First" by Heartland. Edward's Theme Song is "Stealing Cinderella" by Chuck Wicks. Thanks to the most betatastic chicka eva -- readingtime. This chapter is for Cuddles180, Little Red, and Blackulicious for going back and making sure they reviewed every chapter. Don't forget to vote for your favorite outtakes.

**I have the great pleasure of announcing the debut of not one, but two websites that I have the honor of being part of. The first one, The Secret Twilight Garden, is a group blog effort with myself, Jilburfm, changedbyEdward, JustBiteMePlease, and Lead69. Come join us as we discuss fan fiction stories we consider to be the gold standard of fan fiction, the hidden treasures waiting to be explored, writing tips, interviews, you name it! You can even listen to the official Lessons Playlist as well as the playlists for the rest of the Garden contributors. Come join in the fun! Right now you can read interviews of all the collaborators and find out why my college buddies called me "T-Bone" for the longest time. The link is on my profile.**

**The other site, blacksheepfics (dot) com, is something revolutionary I am proud to be collaborating with DefinitelyStaying and EJ Santry on. The focus of this website will be to spotlight stories, chosen by YOU, to be reviewed fairly and objectively. The idea is to give all stories the opportunity to be recommended to the community, without regard to the popularity of the author or the story. You submit the story you want reviewed, it will automatically show up on the website as "Under Consideration." There will also be a search engine for both the "Under Consideration" and the "Recommended" lists. The website is still under construction, but should be up and running shortly. The link is on my profile.****

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****Charlie's POV**

I couldn't believe it. I knew it was coming, but still, seeing him on his knee in front of my daughter, it seemed so surreal. I thought back to our conversation.

_I was just getting ready to turn off the replay of ESPN College Game Day and head to bed. Hell, if it weren't for the fact that I wanted to hear Kirk Herbstreit's take on Adrian's Heisman chances, I'd have been in bed an hour ago. I couldn't believe I watched an hour of bullshit just to hear a 20 second blurb at the end of the program saying he's the one who deserves to win, but won't get it because he's a freshman. His age shouldn't have anything to do with it. He was the best player out there. Watching him win the game last week in person, I was so proud of him. Good kid. He and Alice were good for each other. They both deserved a little happiness in their lives. I was throwing my empty beer cans in the recycling bin when I heard the knock. I was shocked when I opened the door to find Edward standing on the porch._

"_May I come in, Charlie?" Edward looked…nervous. Why is he here? Where's Bella?! I stuck my head out and looked around for her. _

"_She's not with me. I came alone," he said. If he hurt her, I'll kill him._

_Edward cringed a bit before speaking again. What was that about? "Bella's fine. May I come in?" I stepped aside and let him in._

_He turned to face me as I closed the door._

"_Aren't you supposed to be in school, son?"_

"_Yes sir. I just came here to speak with you. I'll be back in class tomorrow, hopefully before Bella realizes I'm gone."_

"_Where does Bella think you are right now?"_

"_She thinks I went…hunting." I didn't know Edward was a hunter. Maybe I should take him out with me next deer season. If he's going to be around for a while, I should probably make a better effort for Bella's sake._

"_Well, alright then…say what you came to say." My gut just told me that this was not going to be good. "Bella's not pregnant, is she?"_

_Edward chuckled, but didn't seem happy about it. "No, sir. Nothing like that. I came to ask you for your blessing. I would like your permission to ask Bella to marry me." _

_After another six pack of Vitamin R and several hours of conversation, I gave Edward my blessing. He told me of his plans to propose in England at Adrian and Alice's wedding. He assured me Adrian had given him his approval of the idea. I probably talked with him more in that one night than I had all the times we'd ever spoken before combined. Well, he talked. I listened. And drank. But he seemed to have this need to explain the depth of his love for Bella. He talked about the first time they dated, he talked about leaving her. He explained to me that he had been just as messed up as she was when they were apart. He explained how he became overprotective and smothering when he moved back and they got together. We talked about the other men in her life – Adrian, Jacob, Jasper. He didn't seem to bear any ill will toward them anymore. On the contrary, he embraced their contributions to her life. By the time I offered him Bella's bed for the night before his flight back and headed to bed, I was convinced that he was no longer the boy I had met three years ago. Edward had stepped up to the plate and become a man. He would never be good enough for my girl, no guy ever would be. But she could do a helluva lot worse. _

I had weeks to mentally prepare for this. It wasn't enough. It would never be enough.

"Bella, when I gave you my mother's ring, it wasn't a real proposal, we both know that. But that still didn't change the fact that when I slid that ring on your finger, I was picturing what forever could be for me with you in it. You have changed me, Bella. You have made me a better man. When we first declared our love for one another, I was so focused on you being mine, that I didn't realize I had it all wrong. I'm yours, Bella, if you'll have me. Isabella Swan, would you marry me?"

I looked at Bella and her jaw was slack, opening and closing with no words coming out. She was sucking in air like a fish out of water. Looking at Edward, he reminded me of me when I proposed to Renee. Scared shitless. And the longer it took Bella to respond, the more panic overtook his features.

I walked over and put my hand on Bella's shoulder. "Bella." She turned to look at me, still stunned. "You are not your mother. Your relationship with Edward is nothing like my relationship with Renee. I loved her, I still do. But she never loved me back, not the way Edward loves you. She didn't want to stick around when the going got rough. When she left, she never came back. I could have chased her to Timbuktu and it wouldn't have made a difference. Don't let my past ruin your future, Bella." She nodded her head, her eyes glossy, wrapping her arms around me and hugging me tight. Bella and I never had this kind of relationship. We never hugged. So it damn near killed me when I had to pull back and remind her that Edward was still on one knee, anxiously awaiting her answer. She kissed my cheek and turned back to face Edward. His expression was different now. Full of hope. Bella didn't speak, just nodded her head up and down so hard that the curls started to fall out of her up-do. Edward stood and kissed her softly, smiling.

"When?" Bella whispered, kissing him back.

"Well, we already have a minister, we already have the rings, and your dad is already in a tux," Edward stated smugly. "What about now? What about today?" Bella chuckled at him and bit her bottom lip, pausing for only a moment before her head started bobbing again. Edward pulled a box out of his pocket, opening it to reveal three rings -- two platinum wedding bands and a diamond engagement ring. "I didn't know if you would want a new diamond or not, I wasn't sure."

Bella shook her head, taking the larger plain band from the box and squeezing it in her palm. "I want the one I already have." Edward beamed at her, taking the smaller wedding band out of the box before closing it, the forgotten engagement ring still inside.

"Well, go on Bells! Father Christopher doesn't have all day!" Adrian chided. "It's time for a wardrobe change!" Bella looked at him questioningly, her brow furrowed in confusion. "Other bedroom, you'll find two more garment bags. Get moving, Wedding Bells!"

"Half hour," Alice practically growled at her new husband. "I will need another half hour to get her ready. Come on Bells! We're really going to be sisters now!" Bella squeaked as Alice grabbed her by the hand and dragging her back upstairs.

"Well, I don't know about you gentlemen, but this proud papa could use a drink! How about you, padre?"

"I think a hot toddy would do me good right about now," the pastor said with a jolly chuckle.

"I don't know about that, but I'm having a beer. You boys coming?"

"Hell yeah!" Adrian replied with his usual enthusiasm. Edward shook his head, but smiled and accompanied us to the small bar anyway.

True to her word, a half an hour later Alice appeared at the top of the stairs. She was now dressed in an emerald green dress in the same design as the red one Bella had worn for Alice's nuptials. She had taken the red and silver babies breath out of her hair, and replaced them with sprigs of green and gold. She now held a bouquet of white roses. Everyone took their places and the pianist began playing a song I didn't recognize, but seemed vaguely familiar. It sounded like something Bella hummed herself to sleep to when Edward was gone. Bella appeared like an angel, gliding down the steps with a grace I'd never seen her show before. Her hair was completely redone, with tiny crystal pins holding up her curls. Her dress was similar to Alice's, only instead of red roses on the trim, there was an emerald green ivy pattern trimming the bottom of the dress, intermingled with gold thread that glimmered when she walked.

"You look beautiful, Bella." She smiled at me and put her hand in the crook of my elbow as we began walking. Somehow the aisle seemed so much shorter than it had an hour ago. I couldn't hold back my own tears when I put her hand into Edward's. He looked up at me with such reverence and thanked me. Bella hugged me again, whispering "I love you, Dad," in my ear.

Father Christopher began again, smiling happily as he joined them in holy matrimony. Bella didn't stop smiling the entire time. She just stared in Edward's eyes and he stared right back. And when Father Christopher pronounced them man and wife, I knew. No matter what happened or where their lives led them from here, they would be together, and they would be happy. Life would throw them curveballs, it did to everybody, but somehow I knew – they would make it. Together.

Alice held my hand, with her other arm around Adrian's waist, as we watched them glide to the tiny dance floor. The soloist started singing that old Peter Cetera and Cher song, "After All." They weren't even dancing, really. Not like Alice and Adrian did. They were more…swaying, with Edward singing the words in her ear as she held him close. I had to admit; it was beautiful.

**Edward's POV**

I never in my wildest dreams thought this moment would happen. I had hoped. God, I had hoped. But I never, for one second, allowed myself to believe it would happen. Adrian had asked me on the plane how I could be so calm. He knew I was laying myself on the line, placing my heart at her feet, even more than he was with Alice. He knew she would say yes, he just wasn't sure she'd be happy with a surprise wedding that didn't involve a full orchestra and the Vienna Boys Choir. I had no such assurances. Yes, she loved me and I loved her. Yes, we had learned the lessons of our mistakes and let the past go. But was she ready for marriage? Was it too soon?

Thanks to Charlie, Bella set her fears aside and said yes. Of all the times I rejoiced when she said yes to me, this was by far the greatest. I knew I kissed her longer than propriety dictated when Father Christopher introduced us to our little party as "Mrs. and Mrs. Edward Cullen," but I couldn't help myself. She'd made me the happiest man on Earth, and I wanted to kiss _my wife_ senseless. So I did. Then when the girl began to sing the song I had chosen for the occasion, I sang to her as we melded together and the rest of the world disappeared.

_Well, here we are again;  
I guess it must be fate.  
We've tried it on our own,  
But deep inside we've known  
We'd be back to set things straight. _

_I still remember when  
Your kiss was so brand new.  
Every memory repeats,  
Every step I take retreats,  
Every journey always brings me back to you. _

_After all the stops and starts,  
We keep coming back to these two hearts,  
Two angels who've been rescued from the fall.  
After all that we've been through,  
It all comes down to me and you.  
I guess it's meant to be,  
Forever you and me, After All. _

_When love is truly right  
(This time it's truly right.)  
It lives from year to year.  
It changes as it goes,  
Oh, and on the way it grows,  
But it never disappears, _

_Always just beyond my touch,  
You know I needed you so much.  
After all, what else is livin' for? _

After we finished dancing, I kissed her once more, relishing her warm breath against my skin, before handing her over to Charlie, who wanted to dance with his little girl while the soloist sang "My Father's Eyes." I danced with Alice, trying to keep her from twirling too much so that Bella and Charlie wouldn't be subconscious about their dancing abilities, but my mind was buried deep within Charlie's thoughts as he relived every key moment in Bella's life to date, from her birth, her first steps, her first words. He thought about her as a toddler in piggy tails making mud pies with Jacob and his older sister. He thought about the tears she cried and how her little hand reached for him when Renee walked out their door. He thought about their summers in California, how every time he saw her it was like meeting someone new. He thought about how happy he was to have her back when she moved back to Forks. He thought about the first time he caught us kissing, and he thought about how beautiful she looked just moments ago at the top of the stairs and how her hand still felt tiny in his own, even now.

After the song was over, I handed Alice off to dance with Charlie, who handed Bella off to dance with Adrian to "The Way You Look Tonight." We even took turns dancing with Adrian and Caroline before settling down to dinner.

Afterwards, Caroline prepared a lovely quail dinner for everyone. Alice claimed to be too excited to eat. I, on the other hand, slipped pieces of food onto Adrian's plate when no one was looking. But Alice was not going without the traditional cake feeding and champagne toast. And apparently, neither was I. _If I can do it, you can do it. Suck it up, buttercup_, she thought.

Adrian had chosen a lovely cake, simple, white frosting with tiny marzipan poinsettia flowers circling the base of each of the three layers, each one separated by tiny columns. After pictures of the cake were taken, the top two layers were set aside to save for our first anniversaries. Bella and I stood on one side and Adrian and Alice stood on the other. We cut the cake at the same time. Bella and I were very delicate. I didn't want to muss her makeup and I'm sure she was trying to ensure I could take the smallest bite possible. Adrian, on the other hand, smashed his piece of cake in Alice's face, then shoved his index finger in her mouth so she would have to eat some of the frosting. He's lucky he didn't get bit. Alice checked her dress quickly and once she was certain it wasn't going to suffer damage, gave it right back to him, taking a big handful of cake and smearing it all over his face. Caroline came over quickly to rescue the rest of the cake so that Father Christopher and Charlie could have a piece before it turned into an all out food fight.

Finally, we were able to say our goodnights, although not without an awkward 'Keep it down in there' from a slightly intoxicated Charlie, aimed at Adrian and Alice since their room was next to his. Bella and Adrian gathered their belongings and traded rooms. I overheard Adrian whisper to Bella about a bag in the closet.

"I hope you like it, but I don't need to know either way. I'd rather we never spoke of it again, actually. I just wanted you to have something special for your wedding night." Adrian blushed, which made Bella blush, guessing the contents. "I love you, Bells. You've always been family to me, but I love that it seems more official now."

"I love you, too, Adrian." She kissed him on the cheek before taking my hand and crossing the hallway. Both girls squealed as Adrian and I picked them up. Flashes from Caroline's camera distracted us only momentarily before we crossed the thresholds into our respective rooms.

"You are by far the most beautiful bride the world has ever seen, Isabella Cullen." I could tell her first instinct was to roll her eyes at me, but something made her stop. For perhaps the first time since I'd known her, she accepted a compliment.

"Thank you, Edward."

"Shall I press my luck and give you your wedding gift now?"

"Oh, no, please don't. I haven't anything to give you in return. Save it, just a little while. Give me time to get you something first, please?" I smiled and nodded my head.

"How about we exchange gifts, say, on our one month anniversary?" Bella chuckled at me.

"You are a hopeless romantic, Mr. Cullen."

I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her forcefully against me. "And you love every minute of it, don't you, Mrs. Cullen?" I leaned her backwards over my arm into a dip. Bella closed her eyes as I leaned down to kiss her. The passion between us ignited quickly, but it wasn't long before she was pushing me away.

"Wait! I want to do this properly." She turned her back to me. "Help me with all these buttons so I can get changed, Edward?" I nibbled on her shoulder and the base of her neck while I unbuttoned each of the thirty or so tiny satin buttons. As soon as I completed my task and rested my hands on her hips, she scurried away from me, running to the closet to retrieve a tiny black bag with a tag on it that said "Wedding Bells" before disappearing in the bathroom. I heard the tiny ping of dozens of bobby pins as she removed them and dropped them on the counter. There were chocolates on our pillows nestled in cream colored tissue paper and the bed sheets were turned down. I put the chocolate on the nightstand on Bella's side of the bed. I took off my shirt, shoes, and socks and laid back on the bed, my hands behind my head and waited, smiling the moment I heard her set her hairbrush down. Even when her heart beats no more, I will have that sound to look forward to. The sound that means my angel is coming back to me. And this time, she's here to stay.

Bella emerged from the bathroom even more beautiful than she looked coming down the aisle, if that were possible. Her hair was down and brushed, falling in loose curls around her shoulders. She had left the makeup on, save the lip gloss that undoubtedly came off when she was brushing her teeth. She was wearing a white satin nightgown with spaghetti straps, but what made her beautiful blush appear so bright, and had apparently caused Adrian's blush as well, was the fact that her breasts were covered with only white lace, embroidered with a single rose in bloom which covered her nipples, but not much else. It was elegant but extremely sensual. I know Adrian said he didn't want it spoken of, but I would _have_ to find a way to thank him. And possibly break his nose for picturing my wife in that outfit, but I would definitely have to buy him something nice afterward. Maybe a car. Or a small island in the Pacific. It would take every ounce of self control I had to keep that gown in one piece for future use.

Bella was biting her lower lip as she stood awaiting my assessment. I crossed the distance between us in a flash, sucking her lower lip from between her teeth and caressing it with my tongue. Bella greedily deepened the kiss, and we poured all of our unspoken emotions into that kiss. I slowly walked us back to the bed as our lips moved in tandem with one another. My hands traveled up and down her sides, my thumb caressing the roses on her gown with each pass, bringing her pert nipples to attention and causing the delicious aroma of her arousal to permeate the room. Bella ran her hands down the planes of my chest and over my belt buckle before taking my erection in her hands and squeezing me through the fabric. My hips bucked towards her, begging for more, as I kissed my way down the column of her neck, twirling my tongue around the nape of her neck before pushing the strap of her nightgown off her shoulder and worshipping the flesh there. I repeated the same trail on the other shoulder, palming her breasts in my hands as I kissed my way down her shoulder, suckling her nipples through the thin fabric. I reached down, dragging the fabric up in bunches until I could slide my hands under it to caress Bella's thighs, the perfect combination of toned muscle and soft flesh. The heat was coming off of her in waves and I felt her swaying, so I pulled the nightgown over her head and tossed it to the chair in the corner before putting my arm under her knees and picking her up, laying her in the center of the bed.

Bella watched me with rapt attention as I shed the last of my clothes and crawled onto the bed, settling myself between her legs. We slowed down then, our passion giving way to a sweet, emotional connection as we kissed and touched and loved each other. When she wrapped her legs around my waist, I entered her slowly and we both groaned from the contact as though it was our first time. In a way, it was. It was our first time joined as man and wife, the physical consummation of our vows to one another, and it was everything I always thought it would be. We took our time making love, focused on the union of our bodies, hearts, and souls. We gazed into each other's eyes and found home. We toppled over the edge together, and then Bella snuggled against me, one arm and one leg wrapped around me, her forehead snuggled into the crook of my neck.

"Edward?" she mumbled long after I thought she had fallen asleep.

"Yes, love?" I asked her, not really expecting an answer.

"Thank you for having them play my lullaby…soooo much better than Here Comes The Bride."

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A/N: The Naked Cullen Boys have taken their show to Dublin, Ireland! Carlisle said to let you know he has something special in store for all my ladies out there! The next chapter is Adrian's POV, and then the remainder of the story, with the exception of the Epilogue, will most probably be Jasper's POV.


	40. Chapter 39: My name is

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own my OCs, this storyline, and that's about it.**

**A/N: readingtime, loves ya hard core. Juliet -- this chapter would have sucked without ya. No theme song this chapter. It's Adrian's POV, but it is definitely NOT filler.**

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****Adrian's POV**

Getting up for breakfast the next day was a chore. For one thing, there wasn't a muscle on my body that wasn't sore. I got more of a work out making love to Ally than I usually get in a game! Plus, I wasn't looking forward to getting the stink eye from Charlie for banging the headboard against our adjoining wall last night. Not that it wasn't worth a tongue lashing from Dad, because it totally was. Not only that, but we got something like 4-6 inches of snow overnight, so I wasn't looking forward to going out in the cold to walk around outside reading plaques about the Bronte sisters. I would have much preferred to stay in bed with my wonderful wife.

Ally-Angel, on the other hand, couldn't wait to start the day. She woke me up at the butt-crack of dawn to get my shower and get dressed. Charlie could only spend the morning with us, and then his flight back left that evening. Breakfast was fantastic. I didn't know what half of it was, but it was fantastic anyway. Charlie agreed with a grunt while chewing, refusing to make eye contact with the horny newlyweds who probably kept him up all night. A little while later, Bella and Edward came down to join us. As soon as Bella saw me, she blushed. I'm guessing she liked her present. Truth be told, it was much less risqué than the one I bought Ally, but still, buying wedding night lingerie for someone you grew up with and think of as a sister was just awkward. Edward patted my shoulder and leaned down to whisper 'thank you' in my ear before they sat down on the other side of Charlie.

After breakfast, we got bundled up and headed to the Keighley and Worth Valley Railway, an authentic steam railway that Charlie wanted to check out. I could see why it had been used in so many movies. It was like stepping back in time. Heck, the entire hilltop town was like stepping back in time, with its cobblestone roads and brick buildings. Afterwards, the girls dragged us to a tea room for lunch before we took Charlie to the airport, where the girls sent him off with a teary goodbye.

Back in town, we took in the Bronte Parsonage Museum, which even I had to admit was interesting. I hadn't realized there were actually six children, including one boy, Branwell, who had been considered the most talented until he succumbed to an alcohol and opium addiction. Alice loved looking at all the costumes from the various movie adaptations of the books, while Bella intently took in every detail of the recreated rooms from their youth. Afterwards, Bella dragged us into an antique bookstore. Edward just smiled at her, giddy over all the dust covered volumes, buying her several, including a few first editions that I'm sure cost more than most of mine and Ally's trips to Versace that Bella always turns her nose up at. We were in there for hours until I finally resorted to whining. "Aww, come on Jingle Bells! Enough is enough!"

The Christmas Festival was going on, filling the streets with performers in period clothing, greeting and interacting with everyone they passed as though we were townsfolk they'd known their entire life, offering us hot cider and lively conversation. It was very entertaining, and the girls really got into it, adopting really bad English accents and trying to copy the dialect. It was hysterical. Father Christmas came up to us, giving both girls a tiny Christmas bell, which he tied to their wrists with a slender red velvet ribbon. Then he looked at Edward and I thoughtfully for a moment.

"I believe you good gentlemen have already received _your_ Christmas gifts," he said knowingly. Edward and I couldn't help but gather our girls in our arms and agree wholeheartedly.

We took in an evening stage performance of "A Christmas Carol" and a late supper at one of the pubs before retiring for another evening of vigorous workouts.

Ally had us up before dawn the next morning, too. She and Bella wanted to take the 40 mile hike on Bronte Way to see Top Withens, desolate ruins near the Pennine moors reputed to have been the inspiration for the Earnshaw farmstead in "Wuthering Heights." Edward and Ally carried us and ran there, arriving just before dawn so we could watch the sunrise. Caroline had packed us a basket with a carafe of tea, along with scones and jam and a wool blanket to keep us warm, for which we were grateful. The landscape, both wild and romantic, proved the perfect backdrop for the most magnificent sunrise I'd ever seen. Plus I got to see my Ally-Angel sparkle, which is always a good thing.

Our time was well balanced between group activities and couple activities, and all too soon it was time to go home. We thanked Adrian and Caroline profusely for their warm hospitality and for everything they did to make our weddings and our entire stay the most magical time of our lives. We promised to come visit them again soon. The four of us had already begun talk about making this trip an annual Christmas tradition.

By the time Edward booked the second set of tickets, the flight he had originally booked was full. Edward and Bella offered to take the first flight, giving Ally and me a little more time together to do some shopping in the city before heading back, which was exactly what we were doing when, in the middle of Harrods, Alice stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes glossed over with a vision. When her eyes cleared, she was in a panic, dropping the purse she was looking at and grabbing my hand, dragging me back to the rental car.

The second we closed the doors to the car, Alice was on the phone.

"Ally, what's going on?" She was looking at her watch.

"Damnit, damnit damnit!" She hung up the phone and dialed again. "Carlisle, it's Alice. I need your help!" She started talking too fast for me to keep up, but her hand flew in a blur to the GPS, programming in a destination.

"Drive, Adrian! Please!" She resumed her conversation with Carlisle for a few more seconds, then when she finally hung up the phone, she turned to me, terrified.

"Ally, please tell me what the hell is going on!"

"It's Edward! He's in trouble! The Volturi are going to kidnap him. They made a last minute decision that changed everything. I need to make you safe. Carlisle has some friends in Ireland. We're to meet them here," she pointed to the GPS map, "so I can change you. Then they're going to help us fake your death."

"Fuck!" I yelled, slamming my palm against the steering wheel and pressing my foot on the accelerator a little harder. "What about Bella?"

"Jasper will be there," she said, although she didn't sound happy about it. "He'll get her away from them, for now."

"That's a good thing, right?" I asked, confused.

"Yes and No. Yes because he'll get her away from the Volturi, for now. No because he's the reason they attack in the first place," Alice said with a sad but eerie calmness.

Alice was silent the rest of the drive, her eyes squinting in concentration, trying to see anything that might be able to prevent this. She tried calling Edward at the time they should have been disembarking, but he hadn't turned his phone back on yet. Alice was fairly certain he wouldn't think to turn it on in time. She tried calling Jasper, but she said he was intentionally ignoring her, shutting his phone off after her first attempt so she couldn't even text him. She didn't elaborate, and I didn't ask. My stomach was clenching with fear as it was, not even knowing which fear should take precedence.

Fear for Edward.

Fear for Bella and Jasper.

Fear that this thing with the Italians will eventually hurt Ally and the rest of the Cullens.

Fear of dying.

Beyond that, I was angry. Pissed at Jasper for whatever he was going to do to fuck this up. Pissed at Heidi and Felix. We let them in, we trusted them. And now they were going to betray us. They were going to kidnap Edward and there wasn't a damn thing we could do about it.

Several hours, one ferry ride, and a quick dinner later, we finally pulled up to a dirt road, two parallel tracks covered in moss from lack of use. We followed it for miles over the bumpy path next to gorgeous rolling hills until we came to a cottage tucked in the woods. It looked like something from a fairy tale.

A heavy set woman with her red hair pulled up in a messy bun, her housedress covered with a dusty apron, came toddling out of the front door and down the steps. She reminded me of Mrs. Weasley in the Harry Potter movies. Well, except for the glowing red eyes. But she had a smile on her face that put me at ease immediately and she hugged Alice, who practically disappeared beneath her arms.

"Come, my dears. It'll be alright."

"Are you willing it so, Siohban?" Alice asked hopefully. The woman just smiled and released Ally. She turned her attention to me, but kept her distance.

"I am Siohban. Inside you will meet my mate, Liam, and Maggie. We are old friends of Carlisle's. He likes to believe I have a power to make circumstances turn out the way I would like them to, just by willing it so. He refuses to believe me when I tell him it is just careful planning. Nevertheless, I am confident it will all work out fine." She headed for the door and Ally and I followed her, hand in hand. I was with Ally on this one, willing it so sure as hell couldn't hurt, now, could it?

Inside, a very stern looking vampire, tall and thin, turned to look at me. He reached out his hand and I shook it.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" he asked.

"Yes," I said without hesitation. Ally didn't need to know how scared I was. Show no pain. Show no fear.

"That's a lie, I can tell. It's my gift," said the other girl. She kind of looked like Alice, only with red hair which fell in bouncy curls around her face like Shirley Temple. "But that's alright. I'd be scared if I were you, too. My name's Maggie. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Siohban motioned for us to sit down before she began to speak. "Okay, so here's how this is going to work. The three of us are going to go hunting tonight, give you one last night alone before the transformation. While we are in town, we will take steps to fake your death. Carlisle should be here before the body is found. The story will be that you went for a run in the morning and suffered from Sudden Cardiac Death, which Carlisle assures us is the most plausible explanation for two reasons. One, it is common among athletes, and two, it is almost impossible to prove or disprove. Alice, you will need to report him missing tomorrow, and will have to go into town to identify the body once it has been found."

Alice nodded solemnly. I tried very hard not to think about where they were going to get a body similar to mine to fake my death with. Their red eyes told me more than I needed to know already. Someone else was going to die in my place tonight. They just didn't know it yet.

Liam looked at me, seemingly reading my face. "A human would die tonight, either way. The fact that we are specifically seeking one matching your description tonight is inconsequential. Do not trouble yourself with the details." I cringed inwardly and Ally squeezed my hand, trying to comfort me, which would be a lot easier to do if I didn't have six red eyes looking at me.

Siohban went on. "Alice, you should begin the change tomorrow morning at the latest, before we return. We are usually well in control, but I am sure you would prefer to not take any chances that any of us be…tempted."

Alice shook her head, her eyes wide. "But he's my singer!" Siohban looked to Maggie for confirmation, and she nodded her head. Siohban thought for a moment before turning back to Ally.

"He has lived this long, and you obviously haven't killed him yet. Your self control must be remarkable. You can do this. I have faith."

With that, they left. Alice was staring at the floor.

"How much will it hurt?"

"I don't remember it myself, but most everyone says it is the most painful experience you can possibly imagine."

"Is there a chance I won't remember my human life?"

"Yes, there's always a chance. Most of us retain some of our human memories." Ally looked up, and I realized that, next to accidentally killing me, this was her worst fear. I put my hand on her cheek and she leaned into me.

"I will remember you."

"You can't know that for sure," her voice a quiet, agonized whisper.

"I will remember you," I said, firmer this time, leaving no room for doubt.

We got up and walked around the cottage. It was clear that they were far removed from human contact. They did not bother with the finely executed charade the Cullens have perfected over the years. There was no kitchen. There was no toilet in the bathroom. There was, however, a bed in what appeared to be the master bedroom. Beautiful and obviously handcrafted, the dark wood sleigh bed fit in with the house perfectly.

Ally took my hands and led me to the side of the bed. "Your name is Adrian Michael Peters," she said as she began unbuttoning my shirt slowly. "You were born on August 21st…" she continued to recall to me every fact she knew about my life as she undressed us. She pulled the heavy wool bedding down and drew me up behind her. "Your best friend is Bella Swan, now Bella Cullen, but you call her Bells."

I laid down beneath her as she kissed and licked and caressed every inch of my body before coming back up to recapture my lips.

"We met at Forks High School…" She lowered herself onto me, even slower than usual, not wanting to hurt me. "We were friends before we came lovers…" she whispered in my ear when I was fully seated in her. She stayed still, allowing my heat to warm her from inside before lifting her hips and bringing them back down. My head flung back, my neck muscles stretched and elongated as I groaned from the pleasure she was giving me. We moved in rhythm now, my thrusts meeting her halfway with every stroke.

"We were married two weeks ago today in Haworth, England…" she whispered as she kissed her way down my neck, teasing me with her tongue, flittering over my skin in tight circles as she worked her way up to my ear, bringing it into her mouth and sucking on it. "…And I will love you until the end of time." Her words caused me to explode, the orgasm almost painful in its intensity. I could feel hers crash around me at the same time. I was so high with the pure ecstasy of it, I barely recognized what was happening when her teeth slid into my neck, no harder than slicing through butter on a warm summer's day.

I felt almost as if I were orgasming again, the initial pleasure of it was so intense. Ally was moaning in pleasure, still moving her hips up and down on my slowly softening member. I closed my eyes, giving in to the sensations and the sounds of Ally sucking on my neck, repeating back all the words she said to me about my life, all the mental images I didn't want to forget. Then Ally's moans changed to growls, and I felt myself getting dizzy and lightheaded. I tried to lift my arms, push her away, but I didn't have the strength.

"Ally…please, Angel. That's enough. Please stop, baby." Ally paused, then pulled back to look at me. She'd never looked more monstrous, my blood staining her lips, her eyes wild. An avenging angel. Then she seemed to get ahold of herself, and picked up my arm, biting my wrist. I could feel the cold fluid being injected into my veins, like when you got a shot at the doctor's office. She repeated it on my other wrist.

I was so sleepy, but Ally wouldn't let me close my eyes. "Stay with me, Adrian. Don't leave me. Keep your eyes open, just for a little while. Come on, baby. Please – show me I didn't take too much. Look at me, show me I stopped in time." I forced my eyes to look at her through hooded lids as she bit into my ankle. It was when she was biting the other ankle that my eyes flew open, and my body stretched straight and stiff as a board from the burn running through my veins.

Ally looked almost relieved. I couldn't understand why. I was on fire! Why isn't she helping me? Why isn't she doing something?? I saw her lips moving, but I couldn't hear anything. She put her hand on my forehead and it helped, just a little. Enough for me to remember why I was burning, what was happening to me. I closed my eyes, my hand blindly reaching for hers until I felt it clench mine. I locked my jaw as tightly as I could. I didn't want to make it any harder on my Ally than it already was. I can do this; it'll be just like football. Show no pain. Show no fear. I began a mantra in my mind.

"My name is Adrian Michael Peters. I am married to the love of my life, Mary Alice Peters, but I call her Ally-Angel, because that's what she is. My best friend is my sister-in-law, Bella Cullen, but I call her Bells. Any kind of Bells, depends on the mood. I was born…"

**A/N: The NCB's are taking their Cullendales show to Malmo Sweden. xlady-cullenx has a private show reserved with Edward and Jasper. Enjoy, darlin'!**


	41. Chapter 40: Morta

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do own my storyline, my OCs, and a wicked sunburn.**

**A/N: We've got our first outtake! So far it's looking like E/B in public, down and dirty. Don't forget to vote on the poll! Speaking of voting -- A Lesson in Release has been nominated for Best Non Canon Couple in the Sparkle Awards!**

**Thanks to ForksVampireGirl and Nikkie 3219 for going back and making sure they reviewed every chapter. This one is for readingtime, jilburfm, and changedbyEdward -- all of whom made sure this didn't suck. Don't know what I'd do without you girls.**

**Theme song for this chapter is Hallelujah. Pick your favorite version...Jeff Buckley, Allison Crowe, Bon Jovi, k.d. lang. My favorite version, and the one I had on repeat while writing this, is the Rufus Wainwright version. The song Jasper is listening to at the beginning is "What She's Doin' Now" by Garth Brooks.**

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****Jasper's POV**

_What she's doin' now is tearin' me apart  
Fillin' up my mind and emptyin' my heart  
I can hear her call each time the cold wind blows  
And I wonder if she knows...what she's doin' now_

Why the hell do I listen to country music again? So I can rub salt into my own wounds? I threw the iPod against the wall, watching it break into millions of satisfying pieces of rubble. I briefly wondered what else I could break.

Bella probably has no idea what she's doing now. She has no idea that she's driving me insane, wondering where she is, what she's doing. Is she safe? Does she miss me the way I miss her? She is completely clueless to how much pain I'm in, I'm sure. Alice is probably dragging her from store to store until Bella can barely remember her own name, let alone mine.

She loves me. I keep telling myself that, because it's the only thing I have left. I made mistakes, I know I did, and Edward was right there to pick up the pieces and fill her mind with doubt. I don't think he did it intentionally. I never sensed any malice from him. Then again, he'd become an expert at blocking me, so who the hell knows. He was fighting for the woman he loved. I was the one stupid enough to think I didn't need to fight for her. His mistakes were monumental compared to mine. She's always forgiven people too easily, but I really didn't think she'd ever completely forgive him for the things he'd done. I was so sure she was mine forever.

Alice tried to tell me when Bella went with Edward to Buffalo that I needed to fight fire with fire, but I didn't want Bella to feel like some prize to be won. I didn't think she wanted me to, even though it killed me to know, in my gut, what was happening. Just like now. I thought I'd made the right decision, because when she came back, she chose me.

Even when she did choose me, though, there was still Edward. She let him take her to their meadow, spend the night in her room. Alice wouldn't tell me exactly what she'd seen in her vision. But I'd felt Bella's love for him before they left, just as surely as I felt her love for me. I knew that even if she chose me, I wasn't getting all of her. I had convinced myself the rest would come with time. And I thought it had, despite the fact that Edward was still there.

He drove her to school, called her on the phone. If I was hunting, she was with Edward. She never pushed him away when he hugged her. She was so worried about hurting his feelings, upsetting him. She accepted that necklace, the one he said was 'to remind her.' I felt his love for her, pure and intense. He was still fighting for her. I'm sure it pleased him to no end that she never took it off. I would hide it in her hair or behind her back when we made love so I didn't have to see it.

All of his efforts to change -- that was him fighting for her, too. Not backing up Alice when she wanted to play Bella Barbie, for example. Why was it that I had been defending her for months with Alice, and she was grateful, but her reaction wasn't nearly as enthusiastic as it was at that moment?

Even with my mounting fears about Edward, though, Bella made sure to remind me that it was me that she loved. I thought with a smile to the day we took the motorcycle to the park after I'd gotten jealous of Edward catching Bella's fall.

"_Just reminding you that I'm yours…" she purred as she ran a finger down the seam of my pants over my bulging erection and back up. I hit the throttle and the bike sped up. "…and you're mine." She cupped me into her palm and squeezed._

"_Oh, darlin'…all yours." _

Even after the karaoke night, Bella tried to reassure me.

"_Why did you pull Edward outside? You know I hate it when you two fight over me."_

"_Do you really need to ask? You're my girl. I'd have pulled Daughtry himself into the alley if he sang that song to you," Bella laughed and kissed me again._

"_Silly Jasper. I don't care if Elvis Presley came back from the dead to sing Teddy Bear to me, I'd still be your girl…_

I didn't fight back. I didn't think I had to. Then she was gone.

_Well…I'm fighting back now. I'm going to remind her what we have. I'm going to pull her into my arms and make her see reason._ Without a second thought, I got on my laptop and hacked into the airline's system. When I found what I was looking for, I looked at the clock. I had just enough time to get there to meet them at the gate. I quickly bought a ticket to nowhere, just to get past the security gates and grabbed the spare keys to Alice's Porsche. My phone rang a few minutes later, and I checked the Caller I.D. Alice. I hit ignore and then turned the phone off. _She can give me a hard time about taking the car later._

Half an hour later, I was standing outside the terminal, waiting anxiously. I tuned out everything but the sounds of the landing planes outside, listening for the one that was pulling up to this section of the tarmac.

While I waited, I focused on what I was going to do, what I was going to say, until their plane finally landed. I heard the muffled voices from inside.

"Bella, love, wake up. We're here."

"Mmm…thank goodness."

"What were you dreaming about, Bella? You sounded sad."

"I was dreaming about…Jasper. What did he say when you told him?" _Tell me what???_

"Um…I didn't tell him. I wasn't sure…"

"What am I going to say to him?"

"You broke up months ago, Bella. You told him you still loved me. It will hurt him, but he'll understand."

They were in first class, so they would be one of the first ones to come through the door. I could hear them getting closer, could feel them now. They didn't know I was there. They had no reason to hide their emotions. They both were oozing love and devotion. Edward had his arm draped loosely around her shoulder, smiling and looking at each other. Edward's head jerked towards me as he opened the door, either because he heard my thoughts or caught my scent. Bella's eyes followed him and she gasped. Confusion. Regret. Love. Love…for me.

They approached me warily.

"Jasper…" Edward began. Just then, something caused Edward to take his arm off of Bella's shoulder momentarily. I jumped at the chance and grabbed her, pulling her to me. I looked into her eyes, pushing all the love I had for her straight to her heart. Without waiting for a reaction, I bent my head down and kissed her, trying to show her all the things I didn't know how to say. She didn't return the kiss. Instead, she pulled her head away from me and put her hand on my cheek, her eyes begging me for forgiveness.

"Oh, Jasper. I'm so sorry."

"No, sweetheart, don't do this. Please…we were so good together. You know we were! Just give…" My rant was cut short by the sound of Edward groaning as he fell to his knees, his eyes full of terror as they darted between Bella and I. He tried to speak, but he couldn't. He was in agony, and not just about seeing me kiss Bella.

"What a precious reunion, wouldn't you agree, Alec?" The voice was coming from a little girl vampire smiling wickedly just behind Edward.

"Jane…" Bella breathed in horror. I immediately released her and pushed her behind me.

"We knew something was amiss when Heidi and Felix reported back, but we didn't imagine it would be so easy to figure out what. How convenient! We didn't even have to leave the airport."

Edward's pain lowered enough that he was able to stand, but he still seemed unable to speak or take a step toward us. Jane and Alec were flanking him now.

"You don't want to cause a scene, now do you? There are humans about. Just come quietly and maybe Caius will let you live."

I did the only thing I could. _I'm sorry, Edward._ I sent a huge burst of lethargy to Bella, causing her to pass out and collapse on the floor. I turned and dropped to my knees beside her.

"Oh my God! My wife! Please, somebody help!" At the same time, I pushed concern and compassion out to all the humans in the area. A crowd of travelers swarmed around us, forming a human shield. I held my breath, knowing that I was banking on the fact that Jane and Alec would be under strict orders not to reveal us to the humans. If I was wrong, then I was endangering the lives of everyone here.

"This isn't over," Jane spoke, so only we could hear. I relinquished my hold on the other humans around us and they dissipated, feeling a little confused. I turned to look for Edward, Jane, and Alec, but they were gone. I picked up Bella and headed for the exit. A security guard stopped me as I walked by the gate. I showed him my ticket and explained my wife had low blood sugar and I needed to get her something to eat. A quick burst of trust, and he let us pass.

I kept Bella asleep as I tucked her into the Porsche and took off. I drove and drove and drove, until I finally found an abandoned farmhouse in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by cornfields.

_Bella, forgive me. I can't lose you. They'll be back, they won't let you live. _

I broke open the back door and carried her limp body inside. I delicately laid her down on top of a dusty couch covered in a sheet that was once white. The dust swirled around us and caught in the breeze. I pushed her hair back from her beautiful face, kissing her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks. I held her face in my palm, rubbing my thumb across her cheekbone as I bent down and kissed her lips chastely, which parted in a soft sigh. I hoped her dreams were pleasant. They would be her last. I turned her head to the side and kissed the pulse point on her neck, feeling it throb beneath my lips for a moment before piercing her jugular with my teeth.

Ambrosia.

Warmth.

Love.

I pulled back and sealed the wound with my tongue. I kissed her hand before biting her, careful to align my bite with the one from James, so she would have one less scar. I kissed the wrist on her other hand and then bit her, then repeated the same steps on her ankles. All the while I tried to keep her under as deeply and as long as possible. Every moment I was able to keep her asleep was one less moment she was in pain. It didn't work for long.

She shot into an upright position, her pupils dilated, unfocused as she screamed. She began sweating with the burn, pulling and tearing at her sweater, ripping it to shreds.

I tugged its tattered remains over her head and removed her pants as well, leaving her in just her bra and underwear. I carried her upstairs, writhing and screaming, laying her down on the first bed I found. I quickly stripped down to my boxers and laid behind her, turning us on our sides, wrapping my arms and legs around her, trying to keep her as still as possible so I could cool her as best I could. I tried using my powers to relieve her pain, sending her every calming emotion I could muster. She kept shaking her head back and forth, her emotions off the chart. She drifted in and out of consciousness. When she'd warm my body past the point where I could soothe her, I would run an icy cold bath and take her into it with me, chilling us both. Sometimes my efforts seemed to help; sometimes they just seemed to make it worse. I tried running my fingers through her hair and kissing her forehead once, but the fury I felt from her prevented me from doing that again, so I reverted to holding her and using my powers to keep her as subdued as possible.

I had years, decades of experience with newborns, but nothing prepared me for this. I had never bothered trying to comfort them, ease the burn. I would avoid them during the transformation. I didn't want to feel their pain, as I now felt Bella's. It was excruciating. So much more painful than I remembered my own change being. No amount of pain would make me run now, though. I was determined to make this as easy on Bella as possible. I was exhausting myself with the effort, but that wouldn't stop me from trying.

During her moments of rest, I wondered what would happen when she woke up. Would she remember anything? If she didn't, what would I tell her? Would I tell her everything? I had to admit the idea of us disappearing together with a clean slate and a fresh start was appealing, even though I knew deep down it was wrong. Still, I felt certain I could make her happy, make her fall in love with me all over again. It would be fun, starting over from scratch. If I could get over the guilt, that is. And manage to hide from Alice.

I noticed Bella clenching and unclenching her hands into fists, so I forced her fingers open so I could remove her rings before she destroyed them. Wedding rings. Oh my God, that's what she was worried about telling me! She and Edward must have gotten married in England. I noticed there was an engraving on the inside of the band. _Never Doubt Never Forget._ So that's what it stood for. I put the rings in my jeans pocket for safekeeping.

If she did remember, would she forgive me for taking her away from her husband? For letting Edward be captured in order to save her? Would she understand why I did what I did? What would we do next? If we are going to rescue Edward, we're going to need help. Bella's going to be a newborn. There's no telling what obstacles that is going to create. At least, not until she wakes up.

**A/N: The NCBs are heading to Belgium! Hope you enjoy your show, ladies!  
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	42. Chapter 41: Honesty and Understanding

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own my OCs, this storyline, and a soccer mom-mobile with way too many miles on it.**

**A/N: We are well on our way to the second outtake, which looks like it will be "Welcome to Manhood" from Bella's POV! There is only one chapter left (plus the epilogues, alternate ending, and outtakes). I'm sad. Help cheer me up -- come hang out at the Secret Twilight Garden with me. Friday I will be reviewing "Peonies" by sillybella for Finished Fic Friday. Appropriate, no? **

**Mad love to readingtime, jilburfm, and changedbyEdward, who all helped me get this chapter where I wanted it.**

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**Jasper's POV**

The three days of her transformation were the worst in my life. Trying to absorb her pain, trying to soothe her, all the while dealing with her out of control emotions and my own internal agony. I didn't know they were married when I kissed her. Would that have stopped me? I wasn't sure. If I was being honest, the answer was no, probably not. If I hadn't kissed her, would things have turned out differently? No, I came to the conclusion they wouldn't have. Jane was already attacking Edward when I took Bella from his arms. I just didn't realize it at the time.

I didn't regret what I did to save her. If the situation was reversed, I would have wanted Edward to save Bella, even if it meant sacrificing me to do so. I do regret that the last thing he heard, ironically, was me calling Bella my wife. That had to have pierced his heart like a dagger. It would have me.

My mind kept slipping into strategy mode as I continued wiping Bella down with a cold cloth, erasing the last vestiges of human fluids from her body as she sweat them out of her pores. Edward had been kidnapped, and it appeared as though Felix and Heidi had as well. Heidi. I felt certain it was my friendship with her that did us in. I got too close to her, let her see inside my broken heart, forgot that what she saw, so would Aro eventually. Now I've endangered the one person besides Bella that I quite possibly could not live without, not to mention her best friend and my brother.

That's assuming they were still alive at all. From what I knew of the Volturi, there might not be anyone left to save. As soon as Bella woke up and hunted, I would have to call Carlisle. He had more direct knowledge of them and would be best able to determine whether a rescue effort was an exercise in futility bound to get us all killed or not.

Bella's heart rate started to slow. I listened to it, like a music box that was dying down and in need of rewinding. She had always wanted to be changed. Just not right now. And possibly not by me. But I hoped she would understand. I would tell her everything, as much as it pained me to, and then together with our family we would do whatever she wanted to do. She was becoming even more beautiful with every minute that the venom worked its magic. I felt the love I had for her being amplified in ways that had nothing to do with the involuntary reaction I had to her newly enhanced, scantily clad body. It was something that I couldn't really understand, but I had no desire to fight it.

Finally, the music box stopped.

No heartbeat.

No emotions.

No movement.

I started to panic. It was taking much too long. I grabbed Bella by the shoulders, sitting her up as I shook her. "Bella! Bella, sweetheart please wake up! You're scaring me, darlin'…" I sobbed as her head hung loosely back, her jaw slack.

I laid her back down and laid my head on her stomach, holding her unresponsive hand while my body shook with unshed tears. Then…I felt it.

Confusion.

Disorientation.

Irritation.

I opened my eyes to see Bella's crimson irises looking down at me.

"Jasper, could you kindly get off me now?" Bella asked, her tone sharp, softened only by her poor attempt at a smile. I sat up but kept holding her hand, resisting the urge to place tiny happy kisses all over her face.

"Bella," I sighed in relief. Bella sat up, turning her body sideways so she was sitting next to me, her legs dangling off the side of the bed as she looked around, getting accustomed to her newfound eyesight and the strange surroundings.

Her mind, now running at vampire speed, seemed to be processing everything, her emotions changing in rapid succession. Her head suddenly whipped to the side, looking at the door. "Edward!" she said, jumping up. She suddenly realized her current state of undress, looking down at her vampire body, then looking at me, sitting on the bed in my boxers.

"Why?"

I stood up and gave her the t-shirt I was wearing when we arrived before sitting back down on the edge of the bed. "You were clawing at your clothes during the burn. I took them off so I could keep you cool." Bella nodded in understanding and took the shirt, pulling it over her head with inhuman speed.

"Thank you. But I knew that part. What I meant was…why did you change me?"

"Bella…how much do you remember?"

She looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, her head tilted and her brow furrowed in concentration as she tried to connect the dots in her mind. Eventually, her emotions gave her away. She remembered everything. She walked up to me, bent down and kissed my cheek. I missed the heat a little, but her lips still felt warm and soft and right pressed against my skin.

"That was for saving me." I put my hand over the spot her lips had just abandoned and smiled up at her, basking in the forgiveness and love she was bathing me in. Then before I knew what hit me, she punched me on the other side of my face, hard, causing my head to fly to the other side.

"And that was for kissing me at the airport…and changing me without waking me up first, and all the other liberties you took while I was incapacitated." I rubbed my jaw in shock while she smirked at me, her arms crossed across her chest. I guess I deserved that. Her anger dissipated and was replaced with fierce determination.

"Now that that's out of the way, how do we get Edward back?"

"I don't know yet, Bella. First you need to hunt, and then we should call Carlisle and Alice. She tried to call me when I was on the way to the airport. I thought she wanted to give me a hard time about stealing her Porsche so I ignored her call. I'm guessing I was way off base," I said with a nervous chuckle.

"Call Carlisle first."

"No, Bella, you need to hunt. You can feel the burn in your throat, darlin', I can sense it."

"Call. Carlisle. Now." Her eyes glowed with impatience and anger.

Realizing I needed to pick my battles, I went to grab my phone out of my jeans pocket. Bella's rings fell out and I picked them up, placing them in my palm to show her.

"I suppose congratulations are in order. I took these off so they didn't get crushed with your developing strength. Let me hang them on your necklace with your pendant for now, alright?" Bella nodded and turned her back to me, lifting her hair so I could reach the clasp. I opened it, slid the rings on, and closed it again as quickly as possible. I looked at the charm hanging on the clasp and it finally sunk in. I hadn't lost Bella. She was never really mine to lose. It wouldn't keep me from loving her. In fact, I was certain at this moment that I loved her more than ever. But it would keep me from hurting her ever again.

Bella dropped her hair and turned around to face me. "Thank you, Jasper. We don't really have time to discuss this the way I'd like to right now, but you need to know I never intended to hurt you." Her emotions reflected the sincerity of her words.

"I believe that, Bella, I do. I never meant to hurt you, either. Sometimes I wish we could turn back time and start over."

"Jasper, If I had woken up like Alice…if I didn't remember anything, would you have told me the truth?"

I took Bella's hands in my own and pulled her reluctantly to me. "Yes, Bella, I think I would have. You can't blame me for entertaining the idea of whisking you off to some remote island and keeping you all to myself, though, can you?" I leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

"No, I suppose not. For what it's worth, Jasper, I'm sorry you found out the way that you did."

"I know. It's said and done. Check out the closets, see if you can find a pair of pants that fit while I call Carlisle."

He answered on the first ring. "How is she?" Ah…he must be with Alice.

"She just woke up. She's dealing with everything remarkably well so far. I take it you're with Alice?"

"Yes, when she saw the vision of you at the airport and was unable to reach you, she went to Siohban's and changed Adrian. I am in the process of tying the loose strings in her husband's tragic death."

"Her husband?"

"Yes, Adrian and Edward surprised the girls with a double wedding. They didn't know anything about it until half an hour before the ceremony was about to begin." I don't know why, but that made me feel incrementally better. I had assumed Bella had known before she left and just hid it from me. I felt guilty for not having more faith in her than that.

"Are they alive?" I asked. Carlisle knew who I meant.

"Yes, for now. There are a few ways this can go, according to Alice. Adrian is a typical crazed newborn and Alice has her hands full trying to keep him from wiping out the entire village right now, so we can't count on them for help. I've already contacted Emmett. He and Rosalie were in Milan, so that helps. Rose is going to fly here to help Alice move Adrian somewhere more remote. At the moment, being around other human drinkers is not helping his fragile resolve to abstain. Emmett will meet you, Bella, and me at the airport. Has she fed yet?"

"No. She insisted I call you first."

Carlisle laughed in spite of himself. "Sounds like our Bella. Make sure she feeds before you get her on a plane. Arrange for a private jet. I'll see you soon."

"Alright, Carlisle. Thank you."

"Oh, and Jasper?"

"Yes?"

"I'm proud of you." I beamed at the compliment. I was about to ask him what for, but he'd already hung up.

Bella was standing in the doorway listening in, wearing a pair of grey sweatpants with my t-shirt. It reminded me of the days she dressed for bed like that back at Charlie's house. I couldn't help but smile.

"My guess would be he's proud of you for saving me, for changing me without killing me, for doing the right thing, and for helping me rescue my husband," she stated simply. "Now let's get going. We don't have time to sit around singing Kumbaya right now."

"You need to hunt first, Bella. Carlisle agrees with me. Killing the pilots in mid-flight won't help us get there any faster."

Bella sighed in defeat, and I motioned towards the door to allow her to go first. We stepped outside and the first thing I smelled was cows in a pasture on the other side of the cornfield. Bella crinkled her nose and put her hand in front of her mouth.

"What's that smell?"

"Breakfast," I said, taking her hand and racing through the cornfield. I could feel her exhilaration at running. It was the same thrill she got from riding the motorcycle.

When we got to the pasture, though, it changed. She was shaking her head, refusing to do what needed to be done.

"Just let instinct take over, sweetheart. It'll be okay. It should come natural to you." Bella closed her eyes, making a gagging sound before targeting one of the older cows in the herd. She bit its neck cleanly, taking one long draw from its vein before releasing it, dropping onto her knees and retching, spitting out the blood into a puddle in the grass. The cow was now in pain, making horrible noises and alerting the rest of the herd, and if we weren't careful, the farmer too. I quickly drained the cow, dragging it into the woods just beyond the field and burying it quickly before returning to Bella, scooping her up off the ground and running into the woods.

"I can't keep it down, Jasper. It smells horrid and tastes rancid."

I ran until I smelled a herd of deer. Perhaps this would be better for her. The blood would be more pure. Perhaps they had injected the cows with growth hormones or something that disagreed with Bella's newborn palette.

Bella turned her nose up again, shaking her head and holding her stomach.

"I can't, Jasper. Just the smell of their blood is making me sick." I grabbed one of the deer and held it to her. It bucked and kicked and pointlessly struggled against me.

"Isabella. Drink."

"No."

Without giving her time to react, I broke the deer's neck and let it fall to the ground, tackling Bella to the ground, pinning her arms beneath me as I straddled her chest, holding her head facing me with my knees, intent on force feeding her if I had to.

"Jasper, have you lost your mind? Let me up!"

I tried not to think about her firm breasts pushing up against my thighs as she squirmed, or the close proximity of her mouth to my sex. I think Bella noticed my momentary distraction, though, because she used that moment to push me off of her with all her might and I went flying, landing in a heap against a massive tree stump several yards away.

She took a couple of deep breaths and then stood. She looked down at me, quite pleased with her newborn strength, and smirked as she held out of her hand to get me to stand as well.

"Let's go. We've got to get to the airport. Every minute wasted is another minute the Volturi can use to hurt them. I told you I wasn't that thirsty. We'll deal with this later." I eyed her suspiciously. "One of the things I've always loved about you was that you allowed me to make my own decisions. Don't stop now, please? I trust you to keep me safe, and to keep the people around me safe." She gave me a soft smile, but her eyes and her emotions let it be known she meant business. She would not be deterred this time.

"Okay." We headed back for the farmhouse and were almost there when I smelled them. There were humans inside, most probably the owners. By now they must have realized they'd had intruders. Damn. I was hoping to be able to at least leave some money to cover the damages if I didn't have time to fix the door myself before we left. I would have to anonymously send them some money somehow. I didn't have time to worry about that now, though. We needed to leave and Bella was feeling nauseous again. We gave the building a wide berth and then I had her wait by the road while I ran back and retrieved the hidden Porsche.

Once we were in the car, Bella calmed down. She called and made all the arrangements for the jet and had it waiting on the tarmac when we arrived. Her reaction to the few humans we encountered, including the pilot, was the same as before. If it were possible for a vampire to be green around the gills, she would have been. I held her hand, needing the direct contact to help her keep her nerves in check.

As the plane took off and headed for Italy, I wondered if these were my last moments with Bella. What awaited us on the other side of the ocean? If we managed to escape unscathed, I hoped that Bella and I could at least remain friends. I loved her far too much not to be close to her, no matter how many times we have each hurt the other. Would we be able to save Edward, Heidi and Felix? I was so worried for all of them. Would any of us ever be safe again? And what if we were too late? What would happen then?

**A/N: The NCBs are taking the Cullendales Male Revue to Glasgow, Russia!  
**


	43. Chapter 42: Nona

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do own my OCs, this storyline, and a fresh box of tissues because this story is ending.**

**This chapter is lovingly dedicated to the 28 people who reviewed the very first chapter of A Lesson in Release when I first published it; most of whom are still with me today. It's hard to imagine now that it was originally just going to be a one shot. Thanks as always to readingtime and The Fab 5. You are my beacons.**

**Thanks to Goldcat, for going back to review any chapter's she'd skipped, and to ****SweetDulcinea, who made me laugh so hard my sides hurt when she asked me "What's Bella going to eat? Is she going to survive solely on Edward's Sparklespunk?" I'll warn you ahead of time, the answer to that, and a few other questions, will NOT be answered in this chapter. That is what epilogues, and possibly sequels, are for. :)**

* * *

**The Definition of Fate: That which is inevitably predetermined; Destiny**

If you, get out in the driving rain, stand in the eye of a hurricane, and never think twice  
If you, turn your back on selfishness, and your thoughts are for someone else, 'cause they've changed your life

When your heart, insists that you give it all, when you no longer feel the fall, and you just let go  
When the past, is finally dead and gone, Fate leads you somewhere to the one, that has your soul

No part of you questions, no part of you doubts, you're sure that this is what love's all about  
Nothing and no one can stand in your way, or keep you from saying what your heart is dying to say

That's how you know its love, that's how you know it's meant to be  
When the span of forever just never seems long enough  
That's how you know it's love  
_~Deana Carter, "That's How You Know It's Love"_

**Jasper's POV**

Emmett and Carlisle were waiting for us at the gate. The moment we disembarked, I was hit with a strong wave of love and affection, but especially lust, mostly from Emmett, but also from Carlisle. I growled lowly at them.

"Bella!" Emmett grabbed her and picked her up off her feet into a bear hug. "I knew you would make a gorgeous vamp, but damn! You are absolutely luscious! If you weren't officially my little sis now, I would seriously consider whisking you away and letting you test drive your newfound durability on my…"

"Emmett, now is not the time," Carlisle stated calmly, having taken advantage of Emmett's outburst to get his own urges under control. "Put her down."

Emmett laughed heartily, as only Emmett could in this situation. Carlisle gave Bella a warm hug and put his hand on her cheek. "Let's go get your husband."

As soon as we got into the car, Carlisle began questioning Bella. She was blessedly quiet on her transformation, but explained to him about the nausea she was experiencing around blood. We told Carlisle that she did not seem to have developed any special abilities. He was as perplexed as we were. Alice had said that they wanted Bella for her powers.

"So you haven't fed, at all?" His voice was sharp with concern, and although the question was directed at Bella, his anger was directed at me.

"A little. I tried feeding from a cow, but ended up throwing it back up. Just the smell of it made my stomach upset."

"Well, after we get out of this predicament, we will need to find a way to address that right away. I've tried starving myself, Bella. It isn't fun."

When we got to Volterra, we abandoned the car in an alley and started for the square. We stuck to the shadows, Carlisle and Bella in the lead, since they both knew where we were going. I was a little surprised to see Bella lift up a grate in the floor that no human could lift. Seeing Bella as a vampire was going to take some getting used to. That was, if she looked at me again once this was all over.

Bella took the lead as we followed the underground passageways until we came to an ornate lobby with a very surprised human sitting at the desk.

"Hello. I'm not sure if you remember me or not, I looked a little different the last time I was here. My name is Bella Cullen. If you could please let them know I'm here, I'm certain they're expecting me." Just then, a man emerged from a hidden door down the hall. He smiled smugly at us as he approached. He looked Bella up and down appreciatively, lust reeking from him. Bella just smiled sweetly at him and pretended not to notice.

"Ciao, Isabella."

"Hello Demitri," Bella replied a little coolly, but not enough to dampen his appreciation of her. His emotions led me to believe that he felt very protective over Bella, and was trying to hide how nervous he was.

"Felix said you would be magnificent. He was right. Come now, they are waiting very impatiently for your debut." He extended an arm out to Bella, and she wrapped her hand around his forearm, smiling again. I spared a glance at Carlisle as we trailed behind them. His emotions proved he was as confused as I was.

As we entered the room, I saw three men on thrones. I knew from Carlisle's painting who they were. We also saw Felix and Edward. They were not restrained, but were being guarded by Alec and Jane. Both men turned towards us the moment we entered. Felix felt fearful, and I was quite certain it was not for himself. Edward's fear was overpowered only by his anguish. Both men were shocked at Bella's appearance.

"May I present Mrs. Isabella Cullen and her guests," Demitri announced.

Bella smiled at them reassuringly, and then turned to smile at Demitri as she released his arm and thanked him. Then she faced the men in the front of the room. She stared, first at Marcus, then at Aro, then at Caius, before turning back to Marcus. She was silent, but her expression was pleading. I was shocked at the affection and desire radiating from both Marcus and Aro towards Bella. Was there a man alive who _wasn't_ lusting after Bella?!

"Welcome to my world, brother," Edward muttered quietly, reading my thoughts.

"Bella! How lovely to see you! Exquisite! Well worth the wait!" Aro exclaimed. "Come here, precious. Let's get reacquainted, you and I." I saw Bella grimace slightly, her face becoming resolute as she walked forward and offered him her hand. His eyes glossed over a little as he read her mind. He kissed her hand when he was done, lingering a little longer than necessary. I heard a growl but it was not from the expected source. It was Marcus. Aro looked surprised, his brow furrowing as he released Bella.

"Marcus?" Aro asked. Marcus looked once more to Bella, feeling very protective and loving. The initial lust had died down and now his emotions were more emulating Carlisle's – fatherly. He touched his finger to the top of Aro's hand and then retreated back to his throne.

"Oh. I see! Well, that explains so much." Aro and Marcus both smiled and relaxed a little in their thrones. Aro turned to me. "You must be Jasper. Tell me something, when you were human, were you the boy who used to beat up the other kids and steal their toys?" There were many muffled chuckles from the group at his joke. I narrowed my eyes at him. How dare he compare Bella to a toy? Aro chuckled again. "No need to get defensive. I meant it in jest. After all, I can hardly blame you for coveting Bella."

Carlisle seemed as confused as I was by that statement, but was determined to get this conversation back on track. "Aro, we have come to secure the return of my son and Bella's husband. As you can see, she is a vampire, as promised. You have no grounds to keep him."

"Carlisle, my old friend, no warm greeting after so many years? I'm disappointed," Aro said. It was not entirely a lie.

"Perhaps if you weren't threatening Edward with your twins right now I would be a more gracious guest," Carlisle stated firmly. Aro gave Jane and Alec a glance and they retreated. Edward ran to take Bella into his arms. Felix joined us as well, standing by Emmett.

"I was so afraid I'd be too late," Bella whispered to Edward.

He smiled down at her. "Silly Bella. Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while."

I leaned over to Felix. "Where's Heidi?"

"She's being detained in her quarters. She was being, how did they put it? Uncooperative," Felix chuckled.

Aro brought our attention back to the front of the room. "There? That's better, isn't it? Let me assure you I mean you no harm. I just needed to see Bella for myself. I had a feeling she would be extraordinarily powerful, and I was correct."

Everyone was confused. Except Marcus. "Allow me to explain," Marcus interjected. "Bella, dearest, do you understand how my ability works?"

"No," she shook her head. "Not exactly. You…see…relationships."

He smiled affectionately at her. "That's right, my dear. I can see relationships between people, like an imaginary laser light between them. The stronger the relationship, the brighter it glows. You, my dear, have light streaming from you to every almost every man in this room, including Aro and me. Don't take this the wrong way, my dear, but it is like a spider web reaching out to every corner, with you at the center."

Bella's confusion showed on her face. "That's not possible. I barely know you."

"Ah yes, and therein lies your power. You had it when you were human as well. I sensed it then, I just had no idea how powerful it would be."

"Tell me something, precious," Aro said, "Your friend, Adrian. How long did it take him to become so loyal a friend to you?"

"He was always like that," Bella stated simply.

"From the moment you met," Aro stated. It was not a question. "And Emmett. How long did you know him before he created a big brother role for himself in your life?" Bella's eyes widened slightly as we all realized where he was going with this. "Carlisle thought of you as a daughter almost immediately. Felix and Demitri wanted you for themselves the moment they laid eyes on you. Jasper fell in love with you the very first instance he spent any time alone with you. James was only capable of obsession. If he was capable of love, I'm sure he would have loved you too. Jacob, Mike, Tyler, Eric, the list goes on and on, doesn't it? Why, even your high school Biology teacher, Mr. Banner, harbored inappropriate feelings for you. Ask Edward, he'll tell you all about the thoughts he had to endure from him." Aro cringed and his face bunched up as though he had tasted something sour. We all looked over to Edward, who simply shrugged and nodded his head in confirmation. Bella felt as revolted as I was at that revelation. Aro continued, "How has that never seemed strange to you? It is a very powerful gift you have, precious. To be able to bend so many men to your will, and that was as a human, completely subconsciously. Once you know how to harness that power, you could rule the world."

"So she is like Chelsea?" Carlisle asked.

"Oh no!" Marcus exclaimed. "Chelsea creates artificial relationships in the minds of those she is trying to control. The moment she releases her control, the bond disappears. Bella is infinitely more powerful. The people who come under her spell truly care for her and will love her for all eternity. It is unalterable. I have only known one other woman who had that power. You would know her as Helen of Troy."

Bella turned to Edward. "Did you know this? When we were here before, did you hear that in Aro's thoughts?" I knew where she was going with this. If he knew, why didn't he say anything when I was falling in love with her?

Edward looked at Bella. "No, I didn't. Marcus only told Aro that he suspected you would be powerful. He didn't elaborate while we were here." Edward then turned to Marcus, visibly shaken. "My love for her. Is that just her power, too? Is it…real?"

Marcus smiled at him kindly, understanding his fear. "The bond that the two of you share is unlike any other bond she has to the people in this room. It is exponentially stronger, and the pulse flows equally in both directions. Never doubt that the love you share is true." Edward could not contain his joy, smiling thankfully at Marcus before turning to Bella, pushing her hair out of her face and bending down to kiss her lovingly. Marcus turned to me, knowing that I had the same question as Edward. "Your love for her goes beyond that of her powers as well, Jasper. You would have loved her anyway. It may help you to remember that her powers work only on how the men in her life feel about her. They don't affect how she feels about them. While you are not her soulmate, don't let that fact, or these revelations, cast a shadow on the love you shared." I nodded solemnly, feeling somewhat at peace with everything we'd learned.

That peace disappeared a moment later when I felt a growing fury and possessiveness from the only member of the Volturi that had yet to speak. I put myself between him and Edward and Bella. Edward, reading my thoughts, moved so that he was next to me, with Bella behind us.

"Enough!" Caius yelled, causing every vampire in the room to look at him. "She was not changed until after Edward was taken prisoner. We have no reason to believe they ever had any intention of holding to their end of the bargain. Their lives are forfeit. The law states they have two choices left – join us or die."

Felix, Emmett, and Carlisle joined Edward and me to form a protective semi-circle around Bella.

"Caius, be reasonable," Aro chided. "Of course, we would love for Bella to join us if she chose. In actuality, Carlisle, we would love your entire family to join us. I promise we would make your lives very comfortable. You would be revered amongst our kind."

"No!" Caius yelled, rising up from his seat, drawing hisses from the other vampires in the room. Jane and Alec immediately took position at his right hand side. He was projecting massive amounts of possessiveness, obsession, and a hunger for power unlike any I had ever felt before. He wanted Bella, not just because her powers had created a desire for her in him, but because he wanted to use her to help him dominate the world. It quickly became apparent to me that no amount of negotiation was going to work. There was only one way for this to end.

_Edward_, I thought, _I am going to use my abilities to subdue Caius, Jane, and Alec. You take Caius out, I'll take care of the twins._ An infinitesimal nod of his head was all the response I needed. There was a Molotov cocktail of emotions I had used to control Maria's newborns when she had sentenced them to die. It was a paralyzing combination of lethargy, despair, grief, despondence and confusion. I pulled it from the very depths of my soul and shot it towards the three vampires with everything I had in me. They started to sway and their eyes glossed over. That was our signal. It was over within seconds. Edward flew to Caius and ripped off his head. I charged Alec and Jane, grabbing Alec first and then Jane, decapitating them both before they could come to their senses and fight back. Carlisle and Demitri had taken mine and Edward's positions protecting Bella. Felix and Emmett, however, did not want to miss the fight and were soon dismembering the bodies belonging to the three heads now dangling by their hair in our hands.

Carlisle turned to Aro and Marcus, who were watching with oddly amused expressions on their faces. "The ball is in your court, my old friends. We do not wish you harm, but we will protect our family at all costs."

Aro turned to Marcus, who nodded without a word, then turned to Felix. "Finish this. You know where to go." Felix bowed, then picked up an arms' full of body parts, turning to me with a smile. I placed the heads on the top of his pile and he headed for a door on the far end of the room, which one of the guard opened for him as he approached. Emmett took the remaining body parts, and Caius' head, and followed him through the door.

Aro watched them leave then turned to speak to Carlisle once more. "Caius' need to conquer has been growing steadily for decades. It wasn't until dear Bella came along that he found the means with which to make his desires come to fruition. We humbly thank you for removing the threat to us all." The thought occurred to me that perhaps this is why Aro brought us here in the first place – to get us to do what he could not. "Now, before we were so rudely interrupted, I believe we were discussing the possibility of your family joining us," Aro said, hopeful. "Bella, there is now an empty throne. We would be honored if you would consider becoming our Queen, our Mistress." I shuddered to think just how many definitions of the word 'mistress' Aro was intending.

Carlisle looked at Bella, confident in her answer, but allowing the decision to be hers. He was not surprised when she shook her head in the negative. "You will understand, Aro, if we respectfully decline."

Aro was genuinely saddened by this. I got the feeling that he missed Carlisle. "The invitation is open if any of you should ever change your mind, of course. You are free to leave whenever you wish, but it would make me most happy if you would visit for a while."

Felix spoke up. "With every respect intended, Lord Aro, Heidi and I wish to join them when they leave."

"Allow us a moment to confer," Marcus stated. The two ancient vampires stood and went through yet another door leading from the room to speak out of earshot. They returned within moments.

"While we bear your family no ill will," Marcus began, "you must understand our concerns over the growing size of your coven, especially if Felix, Heidi, Adrian, and perhaps even Kelly were to join you as well. As the actions of the past few minutes demonstrate, the abilities of your members, especially when combined, are exceptionally powerful."

I didn't even think about it. I just spoke the first words that came into my head. "Then we'll split up." Emmett and Felix were just returning, reeking of the unique scent of vampiric ash and cinder.

"Come again, bro?" Emmett questioned. I looked to each of them, all looking back at me with shock and appall. Each one held a special place in my heart. Felix, my new but no less dear friend, as was Heidi, waiting to be rescued somewhere in the depths of the castle. Emmett and Edward, my brothers through thick and thin. Even when I hated Edward, I loved him just the same. Carlisle, the only father I had ever known. They would be family no matter where I roamed. And finally Bella. My friend, my lover, my redeemer. I knew now why I fell so hard and fast for her, but Marcus was right. My feelings for her would never change, never die. I would love her forever. But she was not mine, and it would be too painful to spend eternity pining for her, seeing her every day and wanting her in my arms. It would be better if I began again. I only hoped I would have some company along the way.

Bella walked to me, a sad smile on her face. Her emotions fluttering between happiness and sorrow, hope and resignation. But mostly, there was love. Not the love that she felt for Edward, of course. But not the same as Emmett or Carlisle, either. I fell somewhere in between. It comforted me that it wasn't just her powers at work. What we had was real. At least part of what I felt for her had been returned. Maybe someday it would be enough. She wrapped her arms around me and let me feel every ounce of love in her soul for me, and I let my guard down and did the same. I kissed her once on her forehead, then took her hands from behind my neck, squeezed them, and then turned to Edward and put her hands into his. He smiled at me and nodded his head in understanding.

I spoke now to the entire room, begging for acceptance of my solution. "I will separate myself from the Cullens. Felix and Heidi are free to join me. I would ask permission now to turn Kelly and have her join us as well if she so chooses. You know from Bella's thoughts that she suspects what we are. She is my niece and I feel a need to protect her." Aro and Marcus both nodded their consent.

Edward spoke up. "Alice, Bella and I have already separated from the rest of the family to attend college. Alice has already turned Adrian. He will undoubtedly remain with us."

Emmett came up behind me and put one hand on my shoulder and the other on Edward's. "Rosalie and I have been away for some time and wish to return home to Carlisle and Esme. Neither of us have any special abilities anyway." Aro and Marcus nodded again, but Emmett continued. "You need to understand up front, however, that it doesn't matter if we are separated. These people are my family. I will not agree to cutting contact with them, and I will promise you this. If any one of us needs protecting from you or anybody else, we will all be there to do it. You fuck with one Cullen, you fuck with all of us." Carlisle winced at Emmett's choice of words, but Aro and Marcus just chuckled.

"We can see that," Aro stated. "We know you have no intentions of using your combined abilities in a quest for power, and we have no problem with you defending the ones you love in a time of need. We are more concerned with the precedent it would set to less honorable of our kind if we allowed you to continue cohabitating together."

Carlisle was full of sorrow and resignation. "We accept your terms, old friend." Just then, the door behind us, the one we had come in from, opened and Heidi was escorted in by Demitri. She smiled when she saw us and ran to me. I took her into my arms in a warm hug and breathed deeply, filling my lungs with wildflowers and serenity. I hadn't realized just how much I had missed her.

"Well, now that that's settled, let's go home," Felix said with a smile.

* * *

**A/N: Credit to Anlynne for the quote from Aro about Jasper stealing the other kids' toys. I'm sure she didn't intend it in the context I used it, but it seemed humorous and rather appropriate here. **

**The NCBs are heading for the Bahamas for a well deserved vacation! **


	44. Epilogue: Guys' POV

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do however, own this storyline, my OCs, and a huge collection of board games.**

**A/N: Theme song for this chapter is "O-o-h Child" by The Five Stairsteps. Love to my beta, readingtime. Oh, and I finally came out of the dark ages and joined Twitter! Could my LJ page be far behind? Follow me at twitter (dot) com / Miss_Lillie. Today at The Garden -- I reviewed TwiDi's "You Don't Know Anything." Link on my profile for those of you looking for a good story to read when I'm done.**

**Carlisle's POV**

What a strange and interesting turn of events, I had to admit. The revelation of Bella's powers was incredibly fascinating. We stayed in Volterra the remainder of the week so that I could do some research in their libraries. The first issue at hand was Bella's aversion to blood. Surprisingly, I found that while rare, it was not unheard of. One of the more recent chronicles I read compared it to a baby being born lactose intolerant. Just because they couldn't stomach the milk, didn't mean their bodies didn't require it. It suggested building up their tolerance slowly and experimenting with different temperatures of the blood, suggesting that blood that has cooled somewhat may be easier to keep down. I decided to take that a step further, and experiment with different animal species to see if that made a difference. For the time being, the burn in Bella's throat was getting difficult for her to tolerate, but the nausea was still worse.

Next came the problem of Bella's powers. All we really knew was that she affected each person differently. Some people became protective, some possessive. Some, like Marcus, Aro and I, felt very paternal towards her. Others, like Felix and Demitri, definitely lusted after her. While Aro had suggested learning to 'harness' her power, Bella just wanted to learn how to control it before any more unsuspecting men fell madly in love with her, or worse. But how to accomplish this? It was not as though she could practice on someone…her effect on them would be permanent and unalterable. Aro suggested practicing on the men brought in by their new fisher, Gianna, 'before supper,' as he so politely put it. While from a scientific standpoint it was impossible to deny the merits of his idea – their love for Bella would be, shall we say, short lived -- the idea was too appalling to be considered. It was then that we decided to make our farewells.

Jasper, Felix, and Heidi were returning to Ohio State. Felix and Heidi wanted to finish their degrees, and there was still the issue of Kelly, which for the moment they agreed would be handled on a day-to-day basis. Our goodbyes were bittersweet, but I felt in my heart that things were on the upswing for Jasper finally. He had done nothing but love Bella with his whole heart and soul, and he deserved happiness just as much as Edward.

Alice had purchased an abandoned castle in the Highlands of Scotland, well removed from the rest of civilization. Esme was already there, wanting to help set up house and greet the two newest official members of our family properly. Alice also needed her to help Rosalie keep an eye on Adrian while she made a short trip back to the states, which she'd already returned from.

We decided to take another private jet, so Bella wouldn't be bombarded with 'rancid human smells,' as she called them. Bella sat between Edward and me on the plane, with Emmett across from us. Bella was very lost in thought, but I caught her looking sideways at me more than once.

"What is it, Bella?" I asked her.

"It's just, this thing with my power has me, I don't know….doubting everyone, I guess. I mean, take you for example. You took me in, treated me as family from Day One. You risked the lives of you and your family to save mine on more than one occasion, out of love for me. But was that just because I accidentally tricked you with my 'gift' or something?"

"Isabella Cullen, listen here," I started firmly, using my 'Dad' voice. She giggled and rolled her eyes at me. I smiled back at her. "Seriously, Bella. Remember when you first learned about us? I told you that the lucky ones of our kind that had special abilities seemed to carry them over from their human life, only amplified." Bella nodded in acknowledgement. "You are a wonderful person. You are kind, loving, forgiving, selfless, funny, beautiful. Even as a human, you were impossible not to love. That wasn't because of some mystic power, it was because of who you are."

"Yeah, Bella, I'd have the hots for you even if you weren't casting a spell on me," Emmett piped in, earning a swift kick in the shin from Edward. "What?! It's true!" Emmett ignored Edward's scowl and turned back to Bella. "But what I was trying to say before I was so rudely interrupted, was that I can tell you exactly why I wanted to be your big brother, and it had nothing to do with your powers. You made my family come to life. You bring joy to everyone around you. You're fun to be around and easy to love, and when you were a clumsy human, you were extremely breakable. You needed and deserved protecting. THAT's why you're my little sis. End of story." Bella smiled a bright smile at him.

She felt sick all through the airport, but got better once she'd been in the car a few minutes. When we had to abandon the car and continue on foot, we passed by several animal scents, none of which were appealing to her. When we passed a sheep pasture, though, she paused.

"They don't smell as bad as everything else has," she mused as we stood there watching them. Edward started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Bella asked curiously.

"The lion falls in love with the lamb, my dear. My favorite food is mountain lion. Wouldn't it just be too poetic if the only blood you could tolerate were lambs?" Bella rolled her eyes at him and continued running, not ready to test out Edward's theory.

When we approached the estate, we could hear Adrian shouting from within. I turned to Edward concerned, but he just shook his head and started laughing again.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" Adrian was staring at the television screen. When he looked up and saw us, he paused the DVD player and jumped up, zipping to Bella and ripping her away from Edward to hug her tight.

**Adrian's POV**

"Vampire Bells! I've missed you so much! Come here, you've got to see this horseshit!" Alice, Rose, and Esme appeared from the other room to greet everyone and get the update on what happened in Italy while I dragged Bella to the red velvet sofa and turned the recording back on. I was glad that Alice made sure I fed before Bells got home. I wouldn't have wanted her first impression of the new-and-improved me to be the blood crazed lunatic I was half the time. Plenty of time for that later.

The National Championship Game started playing again on the big screen. All of the Ohio State players were wearing a black armband with the number 23 on it in honor of their fallen teammate. She looked confused as to why that would be upsetting me. Until she saw the score.

"Florida is kicking their ASS!" Emmett yelled, taking a seat and pulling Rose onto his lap. Edward sat on the other side of Bella.

"No shit, Sherlock," I groaned and watched as the exhausted defense let them score yet another touchdown. Bella patted my hand comfortingly.

"At least you won the Heisman," Alice piped in, pointing to the golden statue in a place of honor in the center of the mantel.

"Yeah, the first posthumous Heisman award! I'm so glad we got married before you had to change me. I still can't believe that my parents tried to argue with you about you accepting the award on my behalf! They probably just wanted to sell it on eBay."

"So, you look like you're feeling better," Edward hedged, trying to not so subtly change the subject.

"As long as we're out here, I'm well fed and there aren't any humans around, I'm alright. I think it's going to be a helluva long time before I'm watching a game from the 50 yard line again, though. It's all good, though. Totally worth it! Ain't that right, Ally-Angel." I pulled her down on my lap and kissed her good and hard, just 'cause I could.

"Totally worth it," she murmured against my lips.

"Alright, that's enough of that," Esme teased. "You two are worse than Rose and Emmett." She wasn't fooling anybody, hugging Carlisle and smiling at us all. Rose scoffed at her playfully and proceeded to make out with Emmett. Edward, never one to be outdone, turned Bella to face him and kissed her deeply, making my best friend hum in satisfaction.

"Maybe Esme's right," I growled.

Looking around, I realized that I was still torn about how this whole thing played out. On one hand, it was nice to know that, thanks to Bella, the Volturi were on our side now. On the other hand, I hated that they insisted we split up. I would miss the rest of the family. We all would.

**Edward's POV**

I hated to admit it, but I was glad the family was splitting up. Much like children who grow up and start a new life for themselves as adults, Bella and I were ready to start the next phase of our lives. I had no interest in returning to the routine of pretending to be a teenager and repeating high school over and over again. Neither did Bella, and with her being a little older when she was turned, there was no need for it. We could easily pass as early 20-something newlyweds forever, which was fine by me.

After many failed attempts, Bella learned to tolerate sheep's blood without throwing it up as long as it was chilled first to reduce the smell of the blood. I would drain an animal from the livestock we were now keeping on the property and refrigerate it, and she would drink it from a glass in small portions throughout the day. She insisted that I always choose one of the older sheep – no lambs. She was feeling immensely better, for which I was grateful.

We had been in Scotland about a year before Adrian felt strong enough to start venturing into the village. The first couple of times, it took all three of us to keep him from attacking an elderly lady working at the bakery. He was definitely getting better, though, and Bella's tolerance was increasing. Bella would have to refrain from drinking for several hours first, to avoid vomiting blood if the nausea got too much to take, but that hadn't happened the past three trips. Alice and I estimated another six months or so, and we could begin considering returning to college in the fall. We decided to transfer to a smaller university, though, to reduce their discomfort. Possibly somewhere near here, so we didn't have to leave the place the four of us now truly considered home.

That was assuming we found a way to control Bella's power by then. Carlisle was still doing research, but as of yet had come up with nothing. I was used to having to fend off rival suitors, but the idea that once affected, they would remain so forever disturbed us. Knowing that Jasper would love Bella forever, that no matter how far away he was or how long he stayed away, his feelings would never fade into brotherly affection for his sister-in-law, as his love for Alice had, troubled me. It wasn't jealousy or fear of losing her that was bothering me. I knew now without a doubt that Bella and I were meant to be together forever. It was more just an unsettling feeling that I couldn't shake.

Alice tried to comfort me. She would share with me visions of Jasper becoming closer to Heidi, of him laughing and smiling, which helped. Bella kept in touch with him via email. He would share with her all the latest happenings in his life and she would share with him all the goings on in ours. She seemed to be satisfied with their new relationship, except to lament once that he felt it was better if they didn't talk on the phone. I knew it had hurt her, but I understood his reasoning. It was just easier for him that way.

Bella interrupted my musings, gliding into the room and wrapping her arms around my waist, resting her head between my shoulder blades.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked. I turned around to embrace her.

"How much I love you," I replied honestly.

"I love you, too. Never doubt, never forget."

**Jasper's POV**

_Dear Bella,_

_Felix is inviting Kelly over tonight. We are going to tell her the truth. He is really serious about her. He hasn't slept around once since we got back! He doesn't even complain about hunting for animals anymore. I hope Kelly doesn't have a heart attack when she finds out I'm actually her uncle, several generations removed. _

_I'm glad to hear Adrian is coming out of his newborn phase successfully. Believe it or not, your aversion to blood was probably a blessing in disguise. I'm glad you didn't have to go through that thirst-induced dementia. Still, I hate to think of you suffering from any discomfort, even if it's just nausea. _

_Heidi is doing well, thanks for asking. She declared Art History as her major, and is really enjoying it. She said to tell you 'Hello.' I did what you suggested, and finally got up the nerve to ask her out. She hesitated, which I understood, but she finally agreed to try dating. Thank you, Bella. Even from across the ocean, you can still give me a swift kick in the ass when I need it. I do care about her a lot; she makes me smile. She's really been my rock, you know? She makes the pain of losing you hurt a little less. Don't start feeling all guilty again! It's not your fault, and even Marcus told you – I would love you even without your powers. It is what it is. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't bring that up, but I know you. You'll brood over that one sentence for days otherwise._

_I know it hurt you when I said I didn't want to talk on the phone yet, but thank you for understanding. It would just be too much for me right now to hear your voice. It's very important to me that we be able to maintain our friendship, and I need to make sure I don't break any boundaries if we're going to make that work. It's temporary, darlin', and if you ever really needed to talk, you know I'm here for you. Always and Forever._

_Well, I'd better get going. It's almost time to go scare the crap out of my niece. I'll write again tomorrow and tell you how it went. Send everyone my best for me._

_Love,  
Jasper_

I hit the send button and turned off the computer. I was getting better. I no longer started my emails "My Dearest Bella" or signed them "Your Jasper." I didn't sit staring at the computer waiting for her reply or constantly wonder what she was doing at any given part of the day.

I looked around the room that I now resided in at Heidi and Felix's house. It held no memories of Bella in it, which was the intent, but there were times I questioned that decision. I would always love Bella. I don't know how much of it was because of her latent abilities as a human, and how much was just me. It doesn't matter. I would always be hers, even if she wasn't mine. But maybe, just maybe, it would be possible for me to love someone else, too.

It was with that hope that I finally, after months of prodding by Bella, decided to ask Heidi out on a date. Heidi had become integral to my survival. Her scent and smile brought light back into my world. She was patient and understanding, never once judging me or telling me that I should feel something other than what I did. We spent every free moment together now, just talking or playing chess or watching movies. It was comforting.

I felt two hands on my shoulders and looked up to meet her golden eyes. They suited her. She smiled at me knowingly. "It's time."

**Felix's POV**

Nervousness was not something that suited me. Neither was insecurity. I didn't think they existed within my psyche, honestly. Yet another thing that Kelly has proven me wrong about. I sat on the couch wringing my hands as Heidi opened the door and let Kelly in before going upstairs to get Jasper.

Kelly came and sat next to me, radiant with her strawberry hair glowing in the last rays of evening sun.

"So, today's the day you are finally going to tell me what the big secret is?" she asked coyly, raising an eyebrow at me. I took her hand and held it within my own on my lap.

"Yes. Some of the things we have to tell you might shock you, but please, know now that you have nothing to be afraid of, alright il mio amore?"

Kelly eyed me curiously for a moment, then huffed a tiny huff and smiled at me.

"I'm going to make this easy on you," she said as Heidi and Jasper entered the room hand in hand. Kelly reached into her backpack and pulled out a large plastic bag. Inside were two pieces of cardboard that were taped together on one side. She removed the cardboard from the bag and handed it to Jasper.

"I wanted to make sure to return this to you in good condition, seeing as it is rightfully yours." Jasper opened the side of the cardboard that was not taped shut and gasped.

"Amelia," he breathed, looking at the picture encased there for a long moment before handing it to me. There was a very old photo of Jasper, complete in his Confederate Private's uniform, a beautiful southern girl on his arm.

"So it is you, as I thought. Just a little something I dug up over the holidays. Merry Christmas, _Uncle Jasper_," Kelly said with a playful tone of sarcasm. We all just stared at her in shock. "Well, as you can see, I've got the basics covered, but I need you all to fill me in on the specifics."

Kelly proceeded with the oddest round of 20 questions probably ever played. We explained everything to her, from what we were and what we ate to why our skin was cold. She asked questions about our individual histories and we were all brutally honest, but she seemed to take it all in stride. She asked about the other Cullens (a group which I am proud to now belong). She asked about how Adrian and Bella were changed. Then finally, she looked at me and asked me her last four questions directly. I barely noticed when Jasper led Heidi out of the room.

"Do you really love me?" Kelly asked, looking deep in my eyes, searching for sincerity in my response.

"More than life itself." It was the truth. When I was in Volterra, and our futures hung by a thread, the only thought going through my mind was finding my way back to her, a woman whom I'd never even made love to, but had taken over my heart and soul.

"Will you love me forever?"

"Undoubtedly." I was rewarded with a kiss, soft and slow. It occurred to me that perhaps I had finally found a woman who could appreciate the fine art of seduction. I couldn't wait to find out.

"Will you make me like you? Not now, but someday?" My greatest wish, come true.

"If that is what you desire, and you can show me you are ready and won't regret it, I will do it without hesitation." Kelly's face took on a seductive smirk as she propped herself on her knees next to me, playing with the hair at the nape of my neck as she leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"You do realize that would mean only sleeping with one woman for the rest of your very long life, don't you?" An evil grin spread across my face as I leaned over her, causing her head to fall back onto the arm of the couch, her knees on either side of my hips.

"With pleasure."

**A/N: Up next, because women should always get the last word, the girls' epilogue!**


	45. Epilogue: Girls' POV

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own this storyline, my OCs, and a well worn library card.**

**~*~**

**This one is dedicated to everyone who let me drag them kicking and screaming to Team Jasper...then let me drag them back. **

**~*~**

**Kelly's POV**

I can't believe how much my life has changed. I thought back to where it all began, at least for me. I was sitting in my grandmother's attic, where I'd gone hunting for material for my genealogy project. I was transfixed, looking at the photo in shock. It wasn't just an ancestor who bared a resemblance to Jasper. It _was_ Jasper. It even had his name on the back. But how was that possible? I put it in the box along with the chest containing the letters and a few other miscellaneous objects and headed back downstairs.

Something made me hide the picture from Jasper when he came over to work on our genealogy project. I'm still not sure why. There was just this little voice inside my head that said it wasn't the right time. It was the same little voice that said something was off when all the couples played musical chairs and then asked me to keep it a secret. Especially after they practically attacked Felix when we first met.

I quickly figured out that whatever was off about the Cullens, was the same thing that was off about Felix. As infuriating as he was, I couldn't help but want to learn everything there was to know about him. I would force myself to listen to his many conquests rattle off their praises as if he were a sex god, just trying to pick up little tidbits of information. Cold skin. Hard muscles. Never ate or drank. Endless stamina.

Then came Halloween. I was all prepared to have a grand old time pretending to stake his sorry vampire ass half the night. Instead, I found myself falling in love with a guy in a vampire costume, all the while wondering if it wasn't really a costume.

I was so relieved when they decided to tell me the truth, and although I was in shock for a while, in an odd way it made more sense to me than the lies they told to try and cover it up. I don't know if I want to become like them or not. I do know, though, that Jasper is family, Edward is my best friend, and Felix could quite possibly be the love of my life. Whatever lies ahead, it'll all be worth it as long as I have them.

**Heidi's POV**

"How do you love someone who you know will always be in love with someone else?" I was staring in the mirror, arguing with myself. I had been doing it for the past 45 minutes and was beginning to question my sanity. It was an hour before my first 'date' with Jasper, and I was still undecided about whether or not to cancel. "This will never work. Why bother setting myself up for heartache?"

Felix walked up behind me, looking at me in the mirror as he rubbed my shoulders soothingly. "Because you care. Don't think about Bella. Think about what you two share and where you want it to go from here. It's no different than when a human loses a loved one. They can find love again, even though they will never stop loving the mate who died."

"It _is_ different. Jasper's not a widower. Bella will always be a part of his life." It's not that I blamed Bella. I had no ill will towards her at all, in fact. It wasn't her fault. But the fact remained that no matter what, Jasper's heart will never be mine and mine alone.

"I've been affected by Bella's ability, too, don't forget. I will always care for her, fight to protect her. I will also probably always have fantasies about making love to her under the olive trees. But the heart has many chambers, my dear. I love Kelly as much as any creature can love another. My affections for Bella will never supersede that."

I thought about what he said. Felix had not been affected to the same degree as Jasper had, or maybe he had but Jasper's natural love for her had a cumulative effect. Who knows? Regardless, Jasper's feelings for Bella were much stronger than Felix's. "What if it is possible that perhaps in time Jasper could come to love me to the same degree that he loves Bella? Even if he could, would it be enough?"

"Isn't he worth the risk to find out?" Felix asked quietly, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and resting his chin on my shoulder in a tight hug. I didn't even hesitate before nodding my head. I swiveled on my heel to face Felix and give him a proper hug.

"Thank you, my old friend." I kissed his cheek and looked once more in the mirror, this time actually paying attention to my appearance before heading down the stairs. Jasper had said to dress casually, so I had pulled my hair into a ponytail and dressed in a Brad Paisley t-shirt and blue jeans with black ankle boots. With a deep breath, I headed downstairs to meet Jasper in the living room, thankful that his abilities didn't work on me. My indecision and nervousness would hurt his feelings, and I didn't want that. I just wanted to try and have a good time tonight, forget the rest.

Jasper's smile lit the room when I walked down the stairs. He kissed me on the cheek and told me I looked beautiful, then he took me by the hand and we hopped on the bike and were gone in a flash.

Jasper took me to a family fun center, where we played miniature golf, went go-karting, climbed the rock wall and hit baseballs in the batting cages. We had a blast, just laughing and talking and fooling around like teenagers. From there, he took me to a carnival. He won me a giant stuffed Scooby Doo doll. When I told him I didn't know who Scooby Doo was, he insisted on setting aside the entire day next Saturday to watch DVDs of cartoons. We got on the Ferris wheel and were sitting at the top waiting for the people below to disembark to allow the next people in line to get on when the fireworks started. Jasper took my hand and I turned to face him. He looked down at my lips, then back up to my eyes again in a silent question.

I hesitated, but desire took over common sense, and I closed my eyes and leant forward. It was a soft kiss, chaste and sweet, but full of promise. He pulled back too quickly and I was almost afraid to open my eyes and see his expression.

"Heidi?" Jasper asked, his nervousness apparent in his voice, which did nothing to calm my own nerves. I was certain he was going to tell me there was no spark there, or all he could think about was Bella, that he was sorry but could we still be friends. Deciding I couldn't avoid the inevitable any longer, I opened my eyes. Jasper was smiling at me, the reflection of the fireworks dancing in his eyes and on his face.

"I know you're afraid to open your heart to me, and to be honest with you, I'm afraid, too. I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want to be hurt anymore. Your friendship has healed me in so many ways, and even though I still feel broken, I can smile again because of you. I don't want to ruin what we have, so I have tried to ignore it, but I can't deny my feelings for you any longer. I care for you very much, and I want to ask you to give me an opportunity to be the one to make you happy. You have a million valid reasons to tell me no, and I'll understand if you do, but I have to ask. Can you see us together? Is there any possible way that you would be willing to give us a chance?"

One look in his eyes and there was no choice for me. Jasper was worth the risk.

**Alice's POV**

Rosalie, Adrian and I were sitting on the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean. I looked forward to these brief moments of lucidity right after Adrian fed. I had no idea that taking care of a newborn would be so exhausting. The sky was a darkening shade of grey, but it only lent to the peace and serenity of the moment. Everyone else would be arriving back at the castle shortly. Well, not everyone. I couldn't disagree with the Volturi's reasoning. Certain covens would jump at the chance to use us as an excuse to increase their numbers, but it still saddened me nonetheless.

"Alice, can I ask you something?" Rosalie surprised me with the soft tone of her voice. I turned to her and nodded my head.

"You knew more than you were telling everyone about this, didn't you?" Adrian raised his eyebrow at me, already knowing the answer to that question, but wanting to know what I would say nonetheless. My mind wandered off for a moment…back to Canada.

_~Flashback~_

_I thought we were making progress. It was stupid, I know, but I thought if I was losing him because of sex, maybe I could get him back the same way. We were both enjoying the effort, at least we were until I bit him. I don't know what came over me, I knew better. Sure enough, it sent Jasper over the edge into what I could only describe as a reaction to post-traumatic stress. Not knowing what else to do, I decided to abide his wishes and leave him alone for a while. I'd intended to hunt, but instead found myself crippled with visions, one on top of another, that literally brought me to my knees._

_Jasper calling Bella and telling her his life story._

_Bella calling my phone to ask me about that damned vibrator I bought her, but Jasper answered the phone, ending in phone sex and Jasper singing her "To Make You Feel My Love" over the phone._

_Bella and Jasper sitting on the floor in her room, her comforting him._

_Then the visions got fuzzy, less sure. There were dark spots I couldn't understand where everything seemed to disappear. But it all seemed to point in the same direction. I lose Jasper to Bella. Jasper changes Bella. Edward walking through a field that was not their meadow, hand in hand with Bella, now a vampire._

_I tried and tried to make sense of them, to make any decision I could to change them, but nothing worked. I leaned against a fallen log and thought about everything that had happened. Maybe if I hadn't sent Jasper to Bella that night, maybe if I had just stayed out of it, things would have been different. It was something I would think back on time and again for months to come. With a heavy heart, I went back to the cabin to find Jasper in the same spot. I held him and we cried together, neither of us finding any real comfort or closure from it. And then he was gone._

_~End Flashback~_

"The other visions fell into place along the way as decisions were made," I told her.

"So you knew all along that Edward and Bella would end up back together?" Rose asked.

"Not at first. I only knew that they were holding hands. It could have meant anything. It started looking in his favor after the night we went dancing at the club, but it wasn't until after Bella moved into Edward's house and they made the decision to read the journal together that I realized that it was inevitable, and had been all along. I guess it's true what they say. You can't fight Fate."

"You should know by now," Adrian chided Rosalie playfully. "Whatever happens, Alice saw it coming."

**Bella's POV**

I was pleasantly surprised at how little angst there had been over my becoming a vampire. I had thought Edward would be upset that I was changed, despite his earlier assurances, and I definitely thought the fact that Jasper's venom now ran through my veins would devastate him. Surprisingly, though, he handled it all in stride. I supposed that was because despite everything, we were together and more in love than ever before. Or it could have been because we suddenly had more important things on our minds.

Edward was staring out the window looking over the countryside. Most of the time he is blissfully happy, but sometimes worry overtakes his features and it makes me sad because I know it's my fault. It always has been. And now, thanks to my ability, it always will be.

I wrapped my arms around Edward, telling him once again how much I loved him, before leading him outside to take a walk. We went to our new special place, a field much like our meadow in the states, only this one was constantly filled with the wonderful aroma of Scottish heather. We laid down in the soft grass, hand in hand, and looked up to watch the clouds.

"Look!" I pointed towards the sky. The puffy, white clouds had formed shapes closely resembling 'B + E'. I thought I was just imagining it, but Edward saw it, too.

"A sign from The Fates?" he mused.

"Definitely," I replied. I paused for a moment before speaking again. "You were thinking about my power again back there, weren't you?" I asked hesitantly. I didn't want to disturb our peaceful moment, but we needed to work this out.

"I just worry for you, love," he sighed, pulling me on top of him. "There is a thin line between a blessing and a curse."

"Carlisle is working hard at coming up with a solution. Adrian hasn't fallen madly in love with me, despite being around me 24/7. He's still the same best friend he's always been. And no one in the village has suddenly dropped down to kiss my feet. That's got to at least show that I'm not constantly blasting every male around me with Love Potion No. 9, right? You can't worry about it so much. Worst case, if we can't figure out how it works, then I guess I'll just have to stay here with you for all eternity. I'm sure we can find _something_ to pass the time." I pressed my hips into his to give him a clear idea what was on my mind.

Edward groaned in pleasure, sliding his hands down to cup my ass and thrusting his hips up to me in reply before capturing my lips in a searing kiss. Our lovemaking had taken leaps and bounds since my change. No longer hesitant, no longer careful, we could just…be. As much as I enjoyed sex as a human, and I definitely did, it was nothing compared to the all encompassing sensations of sex as a vampire. I don't think a day had gone by since our arrival in Scotland that Edward and I hadn't been overcome with desire for one another. Most of the time, we ended up here, out of earshot of Ally and Adrian.

Edward's hands slid under my blouse, caressing my stomach with his fingertips as his hand ventured north to palm my breasts in his hands. I pulled my shirt and bra off to give him better access and he launched himself at my cleavage.

"I'll never get tired of these," he teased before sucking a nipple into his mouth and biting it gently, making my back arch off the ground. He slid a hand under me to hold me there as he swirled his tongue around and over my nipple, flicking it back and forth in his mouth before kissing and licking his way to shower the same attention on the other one. I couldn't help but snicker at his obsession with my breasts, and with biting. Now that he could do it without worrying about his teeth, nibbling was his new favorite thing to do.

I decided to play a bit and use my newborn strength to my advantage while I still could. It was starting to wane in the past couple of months, and I was certain it would be gone for good soon. I flipped Edward over with a loud thud. I ripped his clothes forcefully from his body and straddled his knees, holding him down by the wrists as I lowered my mouth to his prominent erection. Ever since my change, going down on Edward has been one of _my_ new favorite things to do. The way he responds to every lick of my tongue as I pleasure him is probably the most erotic thing I've ever seen.

"Mmmm….baby…just like that…yeah…ugh…don't stop, baby, please…" Edward moaned, ripping his hands from my grasp to bury his fingers in my hair as he gave over to the sensations and began thrusting upwards into my mouth. I used my now-free hands to add a little extra friction, sending him quickly over the edge. "Oh…Bella…fuck!" he screamed, panting and fisting my hair as he came. I loved it when I was able to make him curse.

I crawled back up his body and kissed him. He bit my lower lip tenderly and flipped us over again, sliding into me with a passion and a fervor I would never tire of. I wrapped my arms and legs around him as he made love to me, kissing and caressing me as he quickened his pace.

When we finally exploded from the pleasure we were giving one another, Edward fell atop me, spent, resting his head on my chest and drawing invisible lines slowly up and down my sides. I played with his hair and watched the sun burst to life as the last of the puffy clouds passed it by.

I thought for a moment about the strange, twisted road my life has taken so far, wondering what people would think if they knew the whole story. I knew what half of them would think. Homewrecker. Heartbreaker. Tramp. The polite ones would say I was immature or indecisive. The other half would think I was one lucky girl, to be able to have the undying love and devotion of two wonderful, practically perfect, sexy men. And in many ways, they would all be right. And they would all be wrong. I've made mistakes, just like everyone else, but I have come to realize that I don't regret any of them. I regret the hurt that they've caused, of course, but each mistake led me to where I am right now, and there's nowhere else I'd rather be. Each error gave me a wonderful memory, a priceless gift, an opportunity, an experience. Each one was a lesson learned.

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**A/N: Now that this story is officially complete, I would love to hear the thoughts from each and every one of you, my wonderful readers, who make all the hours put into this worthwhile. If you haven't added me to your author alert, or added ALIF to your favorite stories list, please do. I know that checking out other people's favorites lists is often how I find good stories to read. Much love once again, and always, to my beta readingtime. I love you Whole Bunches! Outtakes and FAQs will be up soon. ~Lillie**


	46. APRIL FOOLS

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do own my OCs, this storyline, and a wicked sense of humor.**

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**_If you are looking for the Girls' POV Epilogue -- go back one chapter. Now that this story is complete, I moved the April Fools' chapter to the end so that it didn't interrupt the story flow. You may need to review that chapter on this one, though, because the system is not smart enough to know that chapter 46 is no longer the epilogue._**

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*****THIS CHAPTER IS NOT REAL. IT WAS AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE.*****

*****IN ACTUALITY, IT IS JUST SOME CARLISLE/BELLA SMUT FOR THE HECK OF IT.*****

**A/N: Thanks as always to readingtime. Theme song for this chapter is Bump-n-Grind by R. Kelly.**

**Reading selection for this update is Heartache by Ooohlalaa. It is all human. Edward is a successful NYC photographer and a heroin addict. Bella falls in love with him, knowing something is wrong, but not knowing what. This is not a flowers and puppies kind of story, it is full of angst and pain and ultimately love and sacrifice and second chances. It's on my favorites list.**

Carlisle's POV

"No, Edward. This is a conversation that I am certain Bella would rather you not be here for. Go hunt. Give me three hours with Bella and then when you come back, I'm sure that things will seem much better to all concerned." Begrudgingly, Edward walked out the front door, being careful to close it quietly so as to not wake his sleeping angel in the bedroom. Bella. The missing link to our family puzzle. The human who brought out the humanity in each of my sons, both for good and for bad. It was the bad part that concerned me, and I decided that I could not stand by silent any longer.

Edward thought I'd come to speak to her about the upcoming issue with the Volturi. He was wrong, but I wasn't about to correct him. Naming off all the known bacterial diseases in alphabetical order was all that was necessary to block him. He'd become weak, addled since Bella had come barging back into his life like a bull in a china shop. But she will make him strong again. I will make sure of it.  
Right on cue, Bella came stumbling into the living room, wearing nothing but a t-shirt and panties. Perfect. She rubbed her eyes with the sides of her fists as her eyes tried to focus, expecting to see Edward. She did a doubletake when she realized that it was me sitting on the sofa, with no Edward to be found.

"Carlisle?" She was confused, but not mistrusting. Good.

"Come, Bella, sit with me. You and I are going to have a little conversation." Bella didn't argue, but took the seat next to me. She scooted against the arm of the sofa and I matched her movement so that our knees were touching. I reached out to caress her knee and she jumped a little, but I merely tightened my grip slightly to keep her from moving away.

"Carlisle?" she asked again, this time looking and sounding a little more like a frightened foal. And in a way, that's what she was. A pretty young foal that needed to be broken.

"Bella, I must admit that I am concerned with your recent behavior. First, you seduce Edward and make him fall in love with you. Then you leave him for Jasper, effectively destroying his marriage to Alice, all the while stringing Edward along under the pretense of being 'friends.' You constantly flirt with Emmett to the point that he is buying you sex toys to remind you of him. Now you are back in Edward's arms while you still have Jasper on a leash two blocks down the street. Not to mention the fact that I know how you've always felt about me. Movie star handsome, I believe was what you said, correct?" Bella flushed red, and a lone tear was rolling down her cheek.

"Carlisle..." I moved my hand up her thigh and squeezed a little harder.

"Now, Bella dear, you know that it isn't nice to tease the Cullen men the way that you do, don't you?"

"Yes?" she replied hesitantly.

"Well, I think that I've been very tolerant of it, don't you? I have always treated you like a daughter, have I not, regardless of how careless your actions were?"

"Yes, Carlisle, you have."

"Well, Bella dear, I think you have been a Very. Bad. Girl. Wouldn't you agree?" She was really shaking now. Perfect.

"Yes." Bella hung her head in shame.

"Yes, what, Bella?"

"Yes, I've been a bad girl." Closer. I put my finger under her chin and made her look at me.

"Daddy," I said, her eyes finally showing an ounce of true understanding.

"Yes, I've been a bad girl, Daddy," Bella said, staring back at me with silent defiance. We couldn't have that now, could we.

I kicked the coffee table out of the way. It cracked when it hit the opposite wall. "Stand up, Bella," I commanded. She did as she was told.

"Strip." Bella hesitated, looking towards the door.

"The only Cullen you have to worry about right now is me, dear. They have all been told not to return until we have concluded our conversation to my satisfaction. Strip." Bella took off the t-shirt and glared at me. "The panties, too, Bella. Turn your back to me as you take them off." She turned around and bent over as she lowered her panties, showing me a wonderful view of her delicious ass and bare sex, already glistening with arousal. I inhaled deeply. No wonder my boys were so intoxicated by her. Bella stood tall and turned back to face me, tossing her panties at me. I stuffed them in my pocket as a token of remembrance.

"Bend over my knees, Isabella." Bella got on her knees, bending at the waist over my lap. I ran my hand lovingly down her spine and around the curve of her ass before thrusting two fingers roughly into her core. Bella moaned and bucked against my hands. I abruptly took my fingers out and smacked her ass firmly. It turned a glorious shade of pink. "So wet and ready, already, Bella? You ARE a little whore, aren't you? Is this how you've gotten all my boys to fall under your spell?" Bella bit her lower lip but did not answer. Smart girl. I scooted us forward so I was sitting on the edge of the couch and pushed her legs further apart.

"Let's get your punishment taken care of, Bella dear. Then maybe if you're a really good girl, I'll give you a reward when we're done. I am going to spank you now. After every smack you are to say 'Thank you, Daddy.' Do you understand?" Bella nodded her head.

"This is for teasing Edward's boundaries to the point where he felt like a monster, making him feel like less of a man for not being able to fuck you like the whore you are." I smacked her on the curve of her ass and she jumped. I put my other hand on the small of her back to hold her still.

"Thank you, Daddy."

"This is for jumping in the sack with the first Cullen you could get your claws into when Edward couldn't give you what you wanted." I smacked the other cheek. Bella moaned.

"Thank you, Daddy." Her voice was a little unsteady, but not enough to concern myself with.

"This is for teasing Emmett into thinking he had a shot at you, too." Another smack, between her ass cheeks, right over her crack. Bella whimpered.

"Thank you, Daddy."

"This is for hurting Jasper, 'cause messing with one Cullen's head was just not enough." Another smack, lower, so that my pinky grazed her lower lips as it made contact. Bella squealed in pain.

"Thank you, Daddy." A tear was rolling down her face, but the scent of her arousal was flooding the room. She was enjoying this, whether she wanted to or not.

"This is for oogling me at every opportunity, making all the other Cullen boys jealous." Another smack, this time on her thigh. I squeezed the stretched flesh there after I smacked her and she pushed into my hand. Another quick warning slap and she stopped moving.

"Thank you, Daddy," Bella whispered.

"This is for making Rosalie and Esme nervous, never knowing who was going to lose their husband to you next." A matching slap on the other thigh, and I giggled her ass when I was done.

"Thank you, Daddy."

"And finally, Bella dear, this is for making me want to fuck your brains out every day for the past three years." A lighter slap, directly to her folds and Bella jumped in shock.

"Thank you, Daddy."

"You did well, Bella, you deserve a reward. Stand up." Bella stood up, her face and breasts flushed from bending over me for so long. I stood behind her, reached around her and grabbed her nipples, pinching them roughly as I ground hips into her tender ass.

"You're going to be a good girl from now on, aren't you, Bella? You're going to choose one man, and then you are going to satisfy his every need for the rest of eternity, isn't that right?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Show me how you're going to do that, Bella."

Bella dropped to her knees and freed my erection from my pants. I was surprised for someone so uncoordinated, she managed to do it quite gracefully. Bella wasted no time in taking me into her hot little mouth. I grabbed her hair and started thrusting into her. I knew she wasn't used to that, she was so used to everyone being so gentle with her. Not me. She sucked for all her might, using her tongue and teeth like a pro. The sight of Bella's lips wrapped around my cock was something I would look back on for centuries. It wasn't long until I was close to coming. I pulled out of her mouth and she looked up at me, confused.

"That was nice, Isabella, but I want you to prove to me you're worthy of one of my sons." Bella stood up and I motioned for her to go back to the sofa. "Spread your legs wide and lean over the arm of the couch." Beautiful. Her ass was still throbbing, the blood so close to the surface from my spanking and the heat rolling off it made me hard . I pulled my pants down to my ankles and teased her with tip. Bella moaned and writhed against me. "Show me, Bella." I grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her head back, arching her back beautifully so her stomach was rested on the arm of the sofa as I thrust into her.

"Oh, god, Bella. So hot. So wet. So...tight. Damn, no wonder my boys like you so much," Bella rolled her hips with every thrust, pushing back against me, meeting me ounce for ounce.

"Yeah, Daddy, right there..." Bella moaned.

I reached around and found her clit, pinching it between my thumb and forefinger as she came around me, clenching me and sending me over the edge. When I pulled out and released her, she collapsed over the arm of the couch, fully spent. I knelt down on the ground beside her head and she turned to look at me. I kissed the top of her nose teasingly. "Now, Bella, I do hope you've learned your lesson. I would hate to have to come back here and punish you again."

"Thank you, Daddy," was all she said as I walked out the door.

**A/N: Okay, so if you haven't figured it out by now, this was an APRIL FOOLS' JOKE. Forgive me for channeling The Perfect Wife's Carlisle a little bit and having some fun with you. Admit it -- all you Team Anti-Bella's loved it! I actually just planned on terrorizing my girlfriends' email boxes, but enough of them said "You Have to Post This!" that I did. Forgive any typos, it's not like I proofread this before I sent it. Oh, I guess I should send the Cullendales somewhere anyway, hmm...how about...Phoenix, Arizona to give deathcabfortrish a round of lap dances by each of the NCBs.**


	47. FAQs and Announcements

**FAQs and Announcements**

**Q: Will there be a third installment to the "Lesson" saga?  
**A: Yes, but not until the fall. The third and final installment to the Lesson Trilogy, "A Lesson in Love" will start in September. It will NOT change the current pairings and will bring all the characters together again. Don't forget to put me on Author Alert so you know when it starts.

**Q: Did I see a quote from "The Princess Bride" in this story?  
**A: Yes. Every one of my stories has at least one. There are no fewer than four quotes from The Princess Bride, one from Clueless, one from Fools Rush In, and one from Sabrina in A Lesson in Fate. There may also be one from Gone with the Wind, but I can't remember if I edited that one out or not.

**Q: Where are my extras?!  
**A: I haven't forgotten, I promise, but the kids are home from school for the summer, and although I love you all, I love them more. I will get them out, but I'm not promising a timeline. I will guarantee they'll be worth the wait. Speaking of which, at the time of posting, we were only 15 reviews away from another outtake...

**Q: What else do you have in the works?  
**A: Look for a Jasper/Bella one shot, "Play Me," in the next day or two. It is an example for the "A Rose by Any Other Name" contest we have going on at the Secret Twilight Garden right now. I haven't decided if I'm posting it on FF or just at the blog, so if you haven't become a follower at the Garden yet, join now! It'll be worth it, I promise! There might even be a connection to the Lessons universe in it. ;) Join us at www (dot) secret-twilight-garden (dot) blogspot (dot) com. Link to the blog is on my profile.

I'm also planning an AH Darkward story, tentatively titled "Manhunt" and a sequel to "Redemption." Haven't read Redemption yet? PLEASE DO! It's a short story about James and Alice when they were humans, and I'm very proud of it. I didn't break up Jasper/Alice, I swear!

Also, I'm pleased to announce that I will be participating in the fabulous Ninapolitan's Smut Mondays and Free For All Fridays on Twilighted. I am honored to have been asked to participate. I'm not sure what my chapters will be about, since they won't post until October.

Don't forget that you can now follow me on Twitter. Link is on my profile. Find out what I'm writing, who I'm reviewing on the blog, what I'm making for dinner, the misadventures of Caramel the guinea pig – you never know! LOL

Finally, I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed, PMed or Twitted me, recommended me on their blogs and podcasts, or otherwise supported me during the writing of this story. I am really blessed to have so many wonderful readers and friends in the FF world, and I cherish you all.

Much love,  
_Lillie_

**The STG "A Rose by Any Other Name would ________ as Sweet…" Contest**

So, the STG ladies and I got talking about the M vs. non-M debate. Let's get this straight: we all love smut. Lub. It. But, we also still have that tender heart of a girl who wants to feel loved without being sexed up. But, we wondered, can't you have both at the same time?

So, we're outsourcing this debate by announcing our "A rose by any other name would _____ as sweet…"contest. Here's the gist: We invite you to write a love scene involving any two characters of your choice in 2500 words or less TWICE: once as a K, K+ or T story, and again as a M story. The 2500 limit is per version, so that collectively your piece should be 5000 words or less. Additional rules:

Per STG's content provisions, please don't include dark smut: no BDSM, rape/sexual assault, rough, toy-laden sex, etc.

Entries must be posted to FF and in English. Please post as one story. PM any of the STG staff to have your story included in our C2.

Entries must be received by one of the STG staff by August 8. Winners will be announced on or about August 15.

STG staff will select three winners. Winners will receive banners and bragging rights. Don't underestimate the value of bragging rights.

STG reserves the right to refuse entry or pull stories that have non-confirmatory material or are shown to be not the work of the submitting author.

As with all Twific, please include a disclaimer paying homage to SM. Seriously, that woman has a massive legal team at her disposal.

If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to contact any of us via PM's or at askthegarden (at) gmail (dot) com. ~Info written by the magnanimous Hopeful Wager~


	48. Outtake 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. You knew that.**

**A/N: So the top requested outtake was Domward. The second most requested was 'Outside.' It made sense as I was writing this to combine them. The next outtake will be the third top requested -- Welcome to Manhood from Bella's POV. Thanks to changedbyEdward for the on-the-fly beta'ing. Readingtime wasn't online, and I didn't want to make you wait any longer. Forgive me, bb. Enjoy!**

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"Take Bella for a walk. Now." Alice's voice was sharp. Even over the phone, it was clear her instructions were non-negotiable. It wasn't difficult for Edward to imagine the reason why. Much more of this, and he couldn't be held responsible for his actions.

Edward and Bella were back in Ohio for Jasper, Heidi, Felix and Kelly's graduation. It was the first time in three years that they had been stateside. Bella still had no idea how to control her abilities, and quite frankly, they liked Scotland, but Jasper had asked Bella personally for them to be there, so they came. Adrian was technically dead to everyone there, so he and Alice couldn't attend, and Jasper really wanted the rest of his family there. It would be Kelly's last hurrah as a mortal. Edward was happy to do it, but between analyzing the thoughts of every man within a 30 foot radius for a sudden spike of lust or affection and dealing with Felix and Jasper for the past two days, he was mentally exhausted.

"Alright, Alice, hold on," Edward started to make his way over to where Bella was conversing easily with Kelly, congratulating her on her graduation and inviting them to visit Scotland sometime soon. That was the last thing Edward needed to hear at that moment. He groaned out loud, earning a strange look from Bella and a chuckle from Alice. As much as he valued Kelly's friendship and considered all four of them family, the past two days had been hard enough. Edward heard some tussling in the background before Adrian successfully took the phone from Alice.

"How's it hanging, Edward?" Edward chuckled. Adrian could almost picture Edward rolling his eyes at him.

"You know, I thought somehow that it would be easier, now that they have both found their own mates."

"Didn't stop them from mind-fucking Bella the minute they saw her, though, did it?" Edward smirked mirthlessly at his brother-in-law's choice of words.

"Or every minute thereafter," Edward replied with a sigh. "You'd think I'd be used to this by now."

"You're out of practice, that's all. Alice is right, man, get the hell out of there. Go for a walk for a while. Hey, take a picture of the stadium for me while you're at it. I forget what it looks like, and all our pictures are of the inside from the stands during the game."

"Will do." Edward hung up the phone just as he reached the two girls. He smiled at Kelly and bent down to kiss her cheek in congratulations before putting his hand on the small of Bella's back, leaning down to whisper in her ear. "Bella, do you mind if we get some air?" Bella heard the underlying urgency and was quick to make her farewells.

Fifteen minutes and a short jog later and they were walking the sidewalks of campus hand in hand. Edward would point landmarks out to Bella, and if her human memories failed her, he would tell her the story behind their significance. She laughed when he told her of the day Felix and Kelly met, and how he and Jasper were certain she was a goner. They were both beginning to relax a little as they approached Ohio Stadium, which looked impressive at night. There were a few spotlights facing the main entrance, but for the most part the rest of the stadium was dark, a monolith against the starry sky. They took a few pictures for Adrian and started to walk around it. They passed several couples along the way, most of them thinking the same thought – wondering if there was a way inside the stadium, wanting to fulfill a fantasy of making love on the bleachers. Edward felt himself stiffen slightly from the mental images he was absorbing, picturing Bella spread out over the bleachers under the moonlit sky just for him.

Then it happened.

They passed a young man who was walking alone, his bookbag heavy after a trip to the library. His shoulders were slumped from the burden and he was watching his feet instead of where he was going. He seemed to sense when Edward and Bella were approaching and looked up. Bella smiled at him politely as they crossed paths. The man was instantly mesmerized by Bella, his thoughts flooding Edward's mind with images he'd rather not see – Bella in the boy's arms, laughing. Bella writhing underneath him. Bella walking down the aisle with the boy awaiting her in front of a priest. Bella's belly plump with his child as he lovingly rubbed lotion on her stretched skin. It was more than Edward could take. He pulled Bella flush to his side and growled. The boy, who had turned around to watch them walk away as he frantically tried to think of a way to make them stop, whimpered in fear at the feral sound that he couldn't explain, but somehow knew was coming from the man whose back he was watching with jealousy. The boy scurried away, knowing without a doubt that he had seen the woman of his dreams and had let her get away, but his devotion to her would last a lifetime.

As soon as they had turned the corner from the poor boy who had unknowingly fallen victim to Bella's gift, Edward scanned the area for anyone who might see his impromptu plan. Between Felix, Jasper, and this insignificant boy, his possessive spark caught flame. Edward wanted, no _needed_, to reclaim Bella as his own.

Now.

Without warning, he flung her over his back, her arms wrapping instinctively around his neck. He bent his knees and pushed off, jumping up and over the wall of the stadium. At vampire speed, he took them to the darkest corner of the stadium. Edward crushed Bella to him, his kisses begging, demanding her to give herself to him. To remind him that she was his and his alone. Bella would not deny him.

Edward moved his sensual attack to her neck, licking and biting her collarbone, grabbing her hair with one hand, wrapping it around his fist to pull her head off to the side, giving him more skin to taste. Her soft groan from the force of his tug sent lightning straight to his groin, and he tugged her hair again just to hear that sound one more time. The sweet scent of Bella became heavy with the scent of her arousal, mingling with the clean cut grass and chalk from the football field.

Edward returned to her mouth, caressing her lower lip with his tongue before deepening the kiss. He leaned forward slowly, unceasingly, giving Bella no option but to lean backwards until she was sitting on one row of bleachers, her legs hanging limp on the outside of Edward's hips with her head resting on the next row up. Edward took her hands into his own and brought them over her head until her fingertips touched the underside of the bleacher above her head.

"Don't let go," he commanded, his voice low and husky, making Bella squirm from the dampness pooling between her legs. He sat up, grabbing her blouse and pulling it over her head, leaving it holding her forearms loosely together. Bella understood his intentions clearly now, and although with their enhanced senses it was unlikely they would get caught, just the slim possibility combined with the taboo of being in public made Bella quiver with anticipation.

Edward kissed his way from her shoulders to the valley between her breasts, tugging down on the underside of her bra, freeing her nipples above the fabric before capturing one in his mouth and rolling it with his tongue. Bella moaned and arched her back, releasing the bleachers to lift herself on her elbows as much as she could without ripping her blouse to shreds. Edward bit down on her sensitive nipple, causing her to squeal.

"Ah ah ah, love. What did I just say?" Edward gently, but firmly, took her hands and stretched her arms above her head once more. "Don't. Let. Go." Somehow Bella knew that Edward needed to be in control, and she was more than happy to give it to him. Edward returned his attentions to her breasts, palming them both as he showered them with kisses. "Tell me, my beautiful wife, to whom " …_kiss…_ "do these"… _kiss…_ "magnificent mounds" …_kiss…_ "belong?"

"You, baby. Only you," she breathed.

"That's right, only me." Edward slowly burned a trail lower, trying to show her with every kiss, with every touch, just how much he loved and adored her. Bella tried to push her pelvic bone against Edward's chest, grinding against him as much as her compromised position would allow. "Patience," Edward purred against her belly button, causing shivers to ripple throughout her body.

Edward loved the feeling of her beneath him, listening to her beg for more.

"Please, Edward…"

His desire to draw out their pleasure gave way to his primal needs at her words. Without any further ado, Edward stripped them both of their remaining clothing and quickly sheathed himself within her folds. He would never admit it to Bella, but he had been afraid that he would lose that all-consuming heat he felt inside her after she was changed. He was so relieved the first time they'd made love after her transformation to find that her core still wrapped him in warmth, almost as much as before. If anything, it was better now – a comforting blanket instead of a raging inferno.

Edward didn't have the control to go slow. He pounded into her hard and fast, her buttocks hitting the edge of the bleachers with each powerful thrust, causing twin dents where the flimsy metal gave way. Edward grabbed her knees, spreading her legs further apart to allow him in deeper. Harder. Bella's moans turned to guttural growls when he released one knee and pressed her throbbing clit against his length with his thumb. He felt her walls tighten and pulse with her impending orgasm.

"Not yet," Edward growled. His strokes became even more frantic, torn between wanting to make it last and needing the release. A few more moments, and his body chose for him.

"Now, Bella." Edward bent down and bit Bella's ear. "Come with me, baby." Bella's orgasm exploded around him as she screamed his name. He slammed into her one last time before coming deep inside her. Edward dropped his head to Bella's shoulder as they both rested a moment. Once they drifted back to reality, they both became self-conscious and dressed quickly, slightly embarrassed at what they had done. When they were both decent, Edward held Bella's hand as they ran to the top and jumped off together, landing feather soft on the concrete below.

"Well," Bella mused as they headed back to the car, completely contented. "That's one college memory I'll never forget."


	49. Outtake 2

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. You knew that._

_A/N: So do you know what today is? The first day of school! I put the kiddies on the bus, got my coffee and was thinking to myself...does anybody care about the ALIF extras anymore? Then, low and behold, I get this awesome review from **Mrs Major J **reminding me just what day it was and to get to work! So, this one's for you, darlin'._

_I'm putting myself on the auction block for the September 9-11 **Support Stacie **fundraiser. I have offered two stories, and to sweeten the deal, I am promising a personalized NCB chapter for **every** bid over $250! Go to **my new blog **at lillie-cullen dot blogspot dot com for more information and links to bid! Make sure you follow the blog -- that's where you'll find out when I'm doing Ninapolitan's Smut Mondays and Friday Free For All, when my Halloween One-Shot comes out, and maybe even a secret or two about my new stuff (shhhh!). When you're done, go to The Garden to see hopeful wager and changedbyEdward's offers, and click the link to DefinatelyStaying's blog to see her offer (make her write fluff!) But first, as per your request, the shower scene from Bella's POV._

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Bella's POV

The first time I made love to Edward, it was…awkward. Don't get me wrong, the emotional connection was intense. Edward was giving me a gift that I only wished I could give him in return, and I was fighting against my conflicting feelings about that. He was so adorable in his inexperience. I had to remind him to move, otherwise I was pretty sure we'd have been there all night. I was just so overwhelmed that Edward managed to do it at all without freaking out or draining me dry that I wasn't really focused on the physical aspect. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy it, I did. It just wasn't the ability-enhanced, mind-blowing, multiple orgasms 'til I'm ready to pass out kind of thing I was used to with the sex god that is Jasper.

"Think we have time to do it again?" Edward asked as he fondled my breasts, staring at them as though they had the answers to the meaning of life. I took a small amount of satisfaction in the fact that Edward had so quickly gone from stalwart virgin to horny teenager. Still, I wanted to get a shower before the stalker brigade showed back up. Suddenly, I had an idea.

"Come on, I want to get a shower in peace while I still can," I said. "Care to join me?"

"God, yes," he breathed, and I had to laugh at his enthusiasm. I quickly stripped down and hopped in the shower, tilting my head back to let the hot water wet my hair and relax my muscles. All the while, Edward just leaned against the counter and stared at my breasts some more.

"Are you just going to stand there and watch, or are you coming in?" I teased, and the next second he was naked and stepping in the shower with me. Then I saw it, the look in his black eyes that said he was _thirsty_. Really thirsty. His entire body looked like it was strung tight and ready to pounce. His fists were clenched at his sides, his face was distorted as if he were in pain, and he was clearly holding his breath. _This is it_, I thought. _I've finally pushed too hard and now I'm going die_.

_Holy shit, I'm going to die. Naked. In the shower. With Edward._

It briefly occurred to me that I probably deserved it. I just hoped that Jasper would forgive Edward and not try and kill him over it. I hoped Edward would forgive himself.

I looked at the shower door, but there was no way I was getting past Edward. I'd be dead before my hand even touched the handle on the shower door. So I did the only thing I could do. I turned the hot water all the way down, hoping it might ease his suffering in some small percentage while he fought against his demons. I backed into the corner of the shower and did the only thing I could. I waited, unsure of what was going to happen next.

_You're strong, Edward_, I thought, willing him to hear my thoughts just this once. _You can do it. You can fight this. Fight for me, baby. Fight for us. Get control_.

Control. I thought a lot about control as we stood in that shower, naked and wet and both terrified for probably an hour. Finally, it looked as though a little amber was seeping back around the black, the cheek and neck muscles had unclenched just slightly. Perhaps it wasn't so much that he needed to be in control. Maybe, just maybe, giving up control was really just what he needed. I had to try. If I didn't, then Edward was sure to revert to his old 'no invading each other's personal space' self again, and I just didn't think either of us could handle that. When the water became uncomfortably cold and my leg muscles were starting to cramp from standing so stiffly for so long, I decided to try and approach him. I turned the hot water up again, just enough so I wouldn't catch pneumonia, and placed my hands on his forearms, showing him I wanted him to relax his arms and hands. I pointed at the built-in bench and commanded "Sit."

I have to admit, I was shocked when he listened. I took some shampoo in my hand and started washing Edward's hair, scratching and massaging his scalp as I did. He leant his forehead onto my stomach and purred. I couldn't believe it! He caressed the outside of my thighs so lightly as I rinsed his hair that I wasn't certain if that was really what I was feeling.

"Stand."

Again, he listened, his hands falling loosely at his sides. I took my time washing his torso and arms before resoaping and dropping to my knees to wash his legs, and other…parts.

"Bella…" he grunted. I took that as a signal that I was once again in life-threatening territory, and worked as quickly as I could and still do a thorough job. Finally, I stood, facing him, and reached between his legs to slowly clean between his legs.

"Turn." I waited for him to do as I asked before continuing. "Spread your legs a little and hold onto the towel rack. Don't let go."

I washed his back, loving the feel of his muscles beneath my palms. And then, because I'm either really persistent or really dumb, I reached between his legs again to caress his testicles briefly from behind before continuing down the back of his legs. I smirked when his body shivered in pleasure.

When I was finished washing him, I paused to rinse out the washcloth and noticed Edward started to let go of the bar and turn around.

"Not yet," I whispered as I decided that if I was going to press my luck, I might as well go for broke. I slipped under his arm and sat on the bench, coming face to face with his glorious sex. "Don't let go," I repeated for good measure. "Trust me."

"Always, Bella. I'm yours, I trust you, but..."

That was enough of that. I shut him up by licking a drop of water from the tip of his member before plunging him into my mouth. Edward tried too hard to stand perfectly still as I worked him hard, but he couldn't stop the moans and slight hip thrusts that his body was producing involuntarily. I was pretty sure we were going to be buying a new towel rack

"Ugh…baby…so good…" he pulled away from me when his erection started to twitch. I really didn't expect him to let himself orgasm in my mouth. Just the idea that he let me go down on him in the first place was remarkable.

"Please, baby, let me come inside of you…I _need_to be inside you." I just about orgasmed right there.

Edward lifted me up to wrap my arms and legs around him as he turned us to face the adjacent wall, pinning me to it before entering me slowly. He played with my nipples some more before reaching lower to caress my clit with his thumb.

Then the most remarkable thing happened. Edward moaned 'Fuck.' I vowed right then and there to make him groan that word more often. Much more often. My head fell back and bumped against the shower wall as our orgasms overtook us.

Edward, being the gentleman that he is, let me finish my shower in peace so I could warm the water back up, and brought me warm towels from the dryer when I got out. We laid in bed and talked things through before I went to sleep feeling content and satisfied. It was a _very_ good night.

* * *

Did you enjoy it? Then send me some love and let me know I was missed! Oh, and before you give me a hard time about Bella comparing Jazz and Edward, riddle me this -- if you had the chance to do them both, wouldn't you be comparing, too? ;) Maybe she should have them both at once so she can do a true comparison. For scientific research, of course!


	50. Outtake 3: You Naci Para Amarte

**_Disclaimer_**: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own the storyline of the Lessons stories and all original characters. Please do not copy or reproduce my work without express written permission.

This outtake of the Lessons trilogy takes place between A Lesson in Fate and A Lesson in Love. It was originally written for Ninapolitan's Friday Free For All on Twilighted. It is lovingly dedicated to icrodriguez, who inspires me in more ways than she knows, and to Nina, for giving me the honor of gracing her pages with my writing.

I highly recommend that you listen to this song while reading this chapter. It is sung in Spanish, so I have provided the translation for you, courtesy of icrodriguez.

* * *

"YO NACI PARA AMARTE", Alejandro Fernandez

Betray me, forget me, what does it matter to the heart  
If my love is confirmed for you without condition  
Punish me and lie to me, I confess it matters not  
My heart decided long ago who to love

Your other loves matter not, your past matters not  
I have already forgiven your smallest of mistakes  
Long before you sinned them  
And there is nothing left to do

I was born to love you and love you with no end  
I know one day the overwhelming flow  
Of your love will reach the sea  
Nothing will detain the momentum to love  
That commands my heart

I was born to love you, I was born to love you  
Beyond all reason  
You will finally learn, at the end of it all  
To accept my heart, If love is true  
It does not surrender to pain

I will wait for you, no matter how much you wound me  
Without mercy  
Destiny is engraved, You will be mine and nothing else  
And there is nothing left to do

I was born to love you and love you with no end  
I know one day the overwhelming flow  
Of your love will reach the sea  
Nothing will detain the momentum to love  
That commands my heart

I was born to love you, I was born to love you  
Beyond all reason

* * *

**Edward's POV**

I blame the red shirt. The black leather pants. Bella blames the music. All three had been used once before to seduce Bella, all those years ago when I was trying in vain to hold onto her. But here, in the beautiful city of Málaga on the Costa del Sol of Spain, I was determined to rewrite history with my beautiful vampire bride.

She hadn't known how to speak Spanish then, didn't know what the words meant. She did now, though. Close to twenty years of seclusion in a Scottish castle left plenty of time for study. The words had more impact on her than I anticipated, considering that we had put that part of our history to rest some time ago. But they did, and I saw for the first time in a long time her eyes growing sad and remorseful as she remembered all the pain I had suffered during our time apart. I didn't want to live in the past anymore. She was here and she was mine and I was hers, and although we have learned from the past, it holds no power over us anymore. I needed to prove that to Bella. That's what tonight was all about.

I saw the flash of recognition the moment I walked into the room. There was something about the blood red shirt, open half way down my chest, and tight pants that drove Bella mad with desire. She was dressed to match in a strapless black and red Spanish style dress, light, gauzy layers that came to her knee and floated in the air as she swiveled her hips back and forth in front of me for my approval.

"Bella, mi amor. Que linda tu eres," I told her as I took her hand and lifted it over her head, twirling her beneath it like a ballerina in a music box.

"Tu también, mi marido," she replied, obviously quite proud of herself.

"Tu belleza es rival de la luna, mi dulce Bella. Y es infinitamente mas poderosa en tu torear." Bella rolled her eyes at me, understanding just enough to comprehend I was teasing her.

"Dance with me," I commanded. I pulled her flush against me, placing one of my legs between hers so she was straddling my thigh as we began to move to the music. I dipped her deep, using my hand firmly holding her low on her back to move her in an ellipse, then kissed the hollow of her throat before pulling her back up just as quickly. Our steps quickly fell into sync. We let the sensual rhythm take us over. I pulled my leg back and spun her away from me, only to spin her back in my arms, this time with her back against my chest with one arm raised above her head, holding the back of my neck and wrapping my hair in her fingers.

As we swayed from left to right, I ran the backs of my fingertips from her elbow down her arm, grazing the curve of her breast as I worked my way down to her hip, across her stomach to take her other hand into my own and spin her once more so we were again face-to-face, my thigh rubbing her increasingly damp center with every step. My hands slipped to the hem of her dress, lifting it higher with every step as I caressed her thigh, marveling at it flexing and quivering beneath my hand. Bella's breaths grew unnecessarily shallow and quick.

"If I didn't know any better, Edward, I would think you were the one with the power to put the opposite sex under your spell," she whispered in my ear.

"Maybe I do," I whispered back, "since I intend to keep you under my spell the rest of the night."

"Your wish is my command," she replied, her voice heavy with lust.

I stepped away from her then, as much as it pained me to do so. "Strip for me, then, mi amor."

Bella paused for only a second, but it was enough to make me raise an eyebrow at her questioningly. _Play with me, Bella_, I thought. _I promise I'll make it worth your while_.

She began dancing to the music, losing herself in the sultry sounds. It was not a striptease, it was infinitely more sensual. Her eyes were closed and although they were her hands touching her body in tantalizing ways, it was me. My voice singing to her, my fingers caressing her, my lips teasing her.

Once she was undressed and completely aroused, she turned to me without a word. Her hips still rocked to the music, grinding her against me while she unbuttoned the last couple of buttons and slid my shirt over my shoulder. Her hands traveled down my chest, swirling around my nipples once before going lower, reaching for the zipper on the pants. I reached down and stopped her, bringing her hands up so I could kiss her wrists gently, tasting her with my tongue. I guided her to the bed and waited for her to get situated in the middle. I took the silk scarves she was using as a belt and untied it, pulling it out from behind her back. I put her hands over her head and tied her wrists together with one of them, fastening it loosely to the headboard.

She smiled at me as I used the other one to blindfold her. I bent down and kissed her then, teasing her with my tongue as she stretched towards me, desperately wanting to deepen our kiss.

"Not yet, my love."

She stuck her lower lip out in a beautiful pout and I couldn't resist sucking it between my teeth and nibbling it. I pulled out a feather I had bought just for the occasion, and started at her toes, tracing patterns on her skin slowly, in time with the music. Bella giggled and squirmed, alternately seeking more or less. I took care to avoid her erogenous zones, much to her frustration. I could smell her arousal. Intoxicating.

"Who loves you, my Bella?"

"You do."

"That's right, love. And who is it that is pleasuring you now? Willing and able to bring you to heights you never imagined?" I bent down and kissed one of her pert nipples, sucking it into my mouth and releasing it with a pop.

"You are." I positioned myself between her legs, making sure she felt the depression of the mattress. I watched her beautiful nether lips clench and release repeatedly in anticipation, glistening with need.

"Very good, love. And who will it be a hundred years from now? A thousand? Whose name will you be screaming in ecstasy from now until the end of time?" I bent down and blew on her clit.

"Yours, Edward! Only yours!"

I crawled up her body and kissed along her neck up to her ear.

"Yes, love, only mine. And I will cry only yours. Let the past go. Live in the present, plan for our future. That is all there is." I thrust into her, filling her completely. She cried out and arched against me, her need so intense that one thrust was all it took to send her over the edge. I held still, enjoying the spasms from her orgasm around me, letting her come down before I began moving once more to the music, making love to her while I sang in her ear. "No importan tus amores, no importa tu pasado. Tus pequeños errores ya los he perdonado. Mucho antes de pecar. Y no hay nada que hacer. Yo nací para amarte."

I undid the scarves, wanting to look deep in her beautiful eyes while we were one. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me down, kissing me deeply and unendingly until she was once again on the verge. We did indeed cry each other's names as we found our release together.

We curled up under the covers and cuddled, much like we used to do when she was human, and she rested her head in the crook of my neck in companionable silence for a while, just enjoying the perfect moment.

"I think I'd like to stay in Spain a while longer, Edward," Bella said after a while. "I like the music, and I'm beginning to think we should take up dancing."

* * *

" Tu belleza es rival de la luna, mi dulce Bella. Y es infinitamente mas poderosa en tu torear." -- "The moon is rivaled by your beauty, my sweet Bella. And it is infinitely more powerful in your incitement."

* * *

_**Help Manhunt get published! **Manhunt_ is currently in fifth place in a contest on textnovel with the prize being a publishing contract! The finalists are chosen based on the number of votes, story alerts and subscriptions the story has garnered. Please read it and if you think it's worthy, please vote, subscribe, leave a comment, then **_pimp it out for me!_** Thank you to everyone who's helped me get the word out so far! ChangedbyEdward and Breath-of-Twilight have even had their husbands vote (Julie's husband is now just as hooked as she is!)

http://www(dot)textnovel(dot)com/stories_list_detail(dot)php?story_id=1521

_**What people are saying about Manhunt:**_

Absolutely love this story so far! It's fun and keeps one interested. I don't find myself zoning out and just scanning several paragraphs of crap as usual with novels - and the writing is excellent! :) Can't wait for more! .  
**By: **Draicun

I had every good intention on commenting on each of your chapters for you, but I could not stop reading long enough to do so. Mrs Lillie it sounds fabulous, and I am not just saying that to be nice either. I am an EXTREMELY picky reader when it comes to anything other than twifics, where I will try anything once. Outside of that little world I have two series that I reread constantly, and now I think I am going to have to make that three. Keep writing and I will keep reading.  
**By**: lolarose

Dang. You're amazing. The lead was a bit different then usual, at least it felt like it to me, but I really liked it. The memories came back in a reasonable manner and I liked reading about their past. Poor Jeremy, he loves them so much. I can't wait to see more. Love Elodie~.  
**By:** ElodieWolfe

I love your story. The plot is really intriguing and your writing is absolutely stunning. Reading your story somehow feels like watching a great movie :).  
**By:** Bingofish

I have to say I can't wait to see what happens. I have always loved your writing on fanfiction, but somehow this seems different. It a good way! Your writing reminds me of Sherrilynn Kenyon's writing. It's very in depth, very good..  
**By:** Kristina

Amazing story. The possible chance of finding love again because she does remember him. She can re-learn the love they shared. Forget about all the pain and abuse and focus on the good. .  
**By:** Lovedwardalways

congrats on editors pick! Your story is additive. Can't wait for more....  
**By:** readingtime


	51. Alt Ending Chapter 17

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. That honor goes to Stephenie Meyer. This storyline and original characters, however, are mine. Copyright 2009, Lillie Cullen. _

_A/N: In every story there is a turning point. In A Lesson in Fate, that turning point happened way back in Chapter 17: Soothe My Soul. This first chapter in the alternate ending would replace that one, and I'm expecting the alternate ending to be four to five chapters long. It will be told entirely from Jasper's POV._

_This one's for Lea, Trish, Karen, Mrs. Major J and everyone else who let me break their hearts and loved me anyway. It's also for Cella and Touchstone, who were kind enough to bitch to someone else so I didn't have to hear it. I'm hoping it puts a smile on their face, and on yours, and reminds them why they loved me._

_I didn't have readingtime beta this because, frankly, my beta loved the original ending and didn't want me to write this. Thanks to Nan, Juliet, Kelli and Cella, however, for giving it your stamp of approval. :)_

* * *

I couldn't remember having ever been so nervous in my entire life. Ever. I fiddled with the ring anxiously in my pocket. Things with Bella and I had been less than perfect lately. Her friendship with Edward rattled my bones and brought out the worst in me.

I realized though, that if I continued to react that way, it wouldn't be Edward that came between us, it would be my own doing. Tonight, I planned on proving to her that I was still the man she needed, the man she'd fallen in love with.

Bella looked beautiful in a pale pink, strapless dress with a white cashmere cardigan and low white heels. We walked hand in hand, watching the sunset on the horizon as I steered us towards Mirror Lake. Bella stopped in her tracks and gasped as we rounded the bend.

The entire area had been transformed at my request. It wasn't easy getting the permissions necessary for everything I had in mind, but a small donation to the History department had done the trick.

Thousands of tiny, twinkling lights lit up the trees surrounding the lake, casting a soft yellow glow over the area. The lake itself had been filled with dozens of floating candles, and off to one side there was a bistro table set up. A white linen tablecloth covered the table, providing the perfect contrast to the black square plates and napkins. Next to the table was a standalone ice bucket with a bottle of champagne. Soft violin music drifted through the valley, the player I hired just out of eyesight. It was perfect.

I took Bella's hand and led her, stunned, to the table and pulled the chair out for her. I bent over and kissed her cheek before taking my seat.

"Jasper, did you do all of this? For me?" She reached her hand across the table for me and I took it, giving her a gentle squeeze.

"I did. Happy Birthday, darlin'." The waiter I'd hired to serve us brought out the cheese course just then, poured the champagne, and left without a word to return to the catering truck parked on the side of the street.

Bella reluctantly let go of my hand to eat. She tried all four of the French cheeses, each paired with a different bread and fruit chutney. There was only one she didn't like. I wished I could share her enjoyment of it, but although I could appreciate the artful presentation, I knew better than to think it would taste good to me.

"Emmett would have tried it," she teased, waving a bit of cheese under my nose. It was a particularly smelly one and my nose wrinkled in disgust. Bella just laughed and popped it into her mouth.

"Yes, he would have, you're right, but I'd rather not ruin our evening with my…digestive issues afterward."

Bella shook her head. "Not even that could ruin this evening, Jasper. I still can't believe you did this! It's so beautiful." The candlelight danced in her eyes and I couldn't help but think she'd never looked more like an angel. And she was an angel. My angel, and she had saved me in so many ways.

The waiter interrupted my thoughts, coming over the moment she set the knife down to clear her tray and bring her the next course. By the time the dinner was over, Bella had enjoyed five courses of fine French cuisine, followed by a chocolate course and a perfectly done vanilla bean crème brûlée. The conversation flowed easily, despite the fact that I was desperately looking for some kind of segue to my proposal and not finding one.

As she was finishing up the last of her coffee and dessert, I realized that I had no more time to stall.

"Bella, I…" my cell phone buzzed in my pocket. I held my finger up to her, asking her to give me just a sec, and pulled my phone out to look at the caller I.D. Alice. I powered down my phone and put it back in my pocket. Whatever she wanted was going to have to wait. This was more important. Bella was waiting patiently, and I needed to do this. Now.

"Bella, I'm not proud of a lot of the things I have done in my life." Bella started to object, but I stopped her. "No, please, let me finish. It's true. I regret many of the mistakes I've made over the years. There are hundreds of things that, looking back on them now, I would do differently if I had the chance to do them over again. The only mistakes I don't regret are the ones that led me to you."

Bella smiled and I felt her love wash over me. It gave me the courage I needed to continue. "I know it was wrong of me to go into Edward's room that night. I don't deny it. But if I had it to do all over again, I would do the exact same thing as long as when it was all said and done, I had you in my arms Bella, you are my angel. You loved me for who I am and helped me come to peace with myself."

I dropped down on one knee next to her and pulled the ring out of my pocket, offering it up to her. "Isabella Swan, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? I would like nothing more than to spend eternity making you as happy as you make me."

Bella's emotions were all over the place as she smiled down at me. "Jasper, I do regret the hurt we caused the people in our life. I do. If I could do it over again, knowing what I know now, I would find a way to avoid inflicting that pain on them."

My heart caught in my throat at she took a counterpoint to my own, but then another burst of love surrounded me and gave me hope. "I would do things differently, but only because of my guilt. I have found the greatest love I have ever known in you. You are my perfect match, my other half. I didn't know what I was missing in my life until you came crashing into it.

"You call me your angel, but you're the one who gave me wings and let me fly. So I will live with the guilt and regret from my mistakes and do so happily because when it is all said and done, I have you." She paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Yes, Jasper Whitlock. I would like nothing more than to spend eternity as your loving wife."

With a shaky hand, I placed the ring on her finger, kissing her knuckles before pulling her up out of her seat and hugging her to me, spinning us around with her dress fluttering around her knees in the breeze before setting her down and kissing her properly. I took us over to the stone wall behind our table and used my fingertip to carve our initials and the date on the wall, surrounding it with a heart. Bella ran her fingertips over it reverently.

"We'll have to come back here to see if this carving stands the test of time as well as you and I will," I said to her, kissing her forehead and hugging her to me. The meaning was not lost on her.

"You want to change me?" she asked. "When?"

"Whenever you like. I must admit that I'm rather anxious to do it, but I know you're excited about college and if you want to wait until you graduate, that's fine with me too."

Bella nodded her head thoughtfully. "I'd like to think on that some more, if it's alright with you." I agreed. Nothing could mar the aura of happiness that surrounded us now. "I want a small wedding," Bella added, "no Alice Extravaganza."

"Thank God!" I replied, and Bella laughed. We started moseying towards the parking lot when Bella stopped, pulling me back to face her.

"Does this mean that you have finally accepted my friendship with Edward?"

I sighed, trying to figure out the best way to put it. "Bella, I know that I've been a jerk about Edward, and I'm sorry about that. I realize that he is always going to have a special place in your heart. I know that you want to maintain a friendship with him, and I have no right to tell you that you can't. I've come to terms with that.

"I can't blame him for still loving you, I only hope that with time he'll come to accept the fact that you and I are together now, and always will be. In the meantime, I trust you to handle any issues appropriately. I'm not going to overreact anymore. You have my word." Bella beamed up at me, relieved.

"Thank you, Jasper. That, right there, proves to me once again that I am with the right man for me."

Bella's hand was slowly working its way up my thigh as I drove home. I was thankful it was Adrian's night at Hotel Edward. We should have the house to ourselves. I was fantasizing about all the different ways I planned to make love to Bella when we saw all the cars in the driveway. This can't be good, I thought, suddenly remembering Alice's dropped call.

Bella was confused and concerned also. She hopped out of the truck before I could even get there to open it for her and took my hand as we jogged up the steps and opened the front door. Everyone was there. Alice. Adrian. Carlisle. Esme. They all seemed to be packing and Adrian looked like he'd been crying. And off to the corner, leaning against the wall and not making eye contact with anyone, was Edward.

"Why didn't you call me back?" Alice shrieked at me. "Now I can't see anything and it's all your fault!" Alice came up to us, pounding on my chest.

"Alice, stop it!" Bella yelled, futilely pulling on the sleeve of Alice's blouse to stop her assault on me. She gave up and looked to Carlisle. "Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on?"

"The Volturi are coming to check on you," he said calmly. "They're not going to be happy that you're still human, nor are they going to be happy that the only reason they gave you a second chance was because of your relationship with Edward, only to find out you aren't together anymore."

"What do we have to do?" she asked, terrified. Alice stopped pounding on me then, stepping back and allowing Adrian to wrap her in his arms before she spoke.

"Before Jasper proposed to you, I had a vision that would have worked, but now I'm not so sure. I can't see anything anymore."

"Well, what did you see?"

"Adrian moved out. You moved in with Edward. We pretended that you and Edward were still together, engaged, and that Jasper and I were still married. It bought us time, but now I can't see anything past when they get off the plane! I'm afraid they're going to kill us all."

"Bella," Esme spoke up, feeling guilt and pity when she spared me a quick glance before returning her attention to Bella. "I still think it's the best course of action." Alice nodded her head and everyone began packing as though the decision had been made.

Bella's eyes widened in panic as the realization of what they were asking sunk in. She looked to Edward, who matched her gaze. He was masking his emotions from my ability, but they were clear on his face. He was torn between his fear for his family and his guilty joy at the opportunity he believed had just been dropped in his lap. His hope and his love for her were written in his eyes.

Bella tore herself away and took a few steps away from everybody, including me. She was trembling and shaking her head back and forth. I watched her for a moment, helpless, not knowing what to do. I watched as she miraculously pulled herself together, strength and determination dominating her features as she spoke loud and clear to everyone in the room.

"No."

* * *

_A/N:_ _I sincerely hope it lived up to your expectations. If it did, please bless me with a review and let me know. Find out what I'm doing for my Support Stacie contest at lillie-cullen dot blogspot dot com._


	52. Alt Ending Chapter 18

A/N: I do not own Twilight, any of its characters or plot points. I do, however, own my storyline and original characters. Copyright 2009, Lillie Cullen. All rights reserved worldwide.

I want to give a special thanks to twimom_13. Your review made my day, but since it was anonymous, I couldn't reply. This one's for you.

* * *

"No."

I cleared the distance quickly, taking both of her hands into my own. "What are you saying, Bella?"

I watched and felt as her resolve steeled within herself until she found her voice. "I'm not moving in with Edward. I'm not leaving Jasper."

Everyone started talking at once, everyone but Adrian and I voicing their disagreement with her decision. Edward's voice stood out in the crowd.

"But, love..." Bella wheeled on him.

"Don't, Edward. Just don't. I am so glad that you and I have been able to work through our issues and build a true, lasting friendship from the ashes of our relationship. But Jasper just asked me to marry him, and I said yes. Moving in with you, pretending to be in a relationship with you would just blur the lines too much, and that wouldn't be fair to anyone, not Jasper, not me, and least of all you. I love you too much to give you false hope."

Edward stood frozen, the weight of his emotions almost bringing me to my knees. My heart broke for him then, all animosity forgotten. My brother had just realized that it was truly over.

Bella turned her attention to Alice. "How long?"

"Two weeks."

"That's plenty of time to change me." She turned back to me. "I want you to do it. Do you think you can?"

I beamed at her. "Of course I can. You just say when." I bent down and kissed her nose. Was it wrong of me to feel such joy when everything around us was falling apart? Bella had just chosen me, for eternity, to Edward and in front of everyone in a way that almost felt more real to me than it had an hour ago when she'd agreed to marry me.

"I want to say goodbye to my father first." I completely understood that. I wanted the opportunity to talk to Charlie, to let Charlie know that I loved Bella and that she was happy before I had to take her away from him, possibly forever.

"I'll call the airlines, you go pack." I bent down and kissed her cheek then raised her left hand and kissed her ring finger before releasing her. She turned and headed for the stairs.

"Wait!" Alice shouted. "We don't know that will work. I can't see. They want you for a reason, though. There is more to it than seeing we kept our promise to change you. And what about Adrian?"

Adrian turned Alice around to face him before he spoke. "I agree with Bella that changing her is the right thing to do, Ally. If you have to change me now for us all to be safe and together, then fine. You come first. Always. But if there is a way, I'd like to wait, at least until after the season is over."

"Here's what we're going to do," Carlisle stated with authority and all eyes turned to him. "Jasper and Bella will go back to Forks tomorrow. We will pack up Adrian's things and put them in storage on the off chance the Volturi come back here. As soon as they return, Jasper will change Bella. We will all accompany Bella to the airport to meet them as they get off the plane, provide a united front. If they question her entourage, we will simply say we are there to help her keep control. It won't be a lie." Bella cringed at that, not having considered that she will be going through this ordeal as a newborn. Carlisle either missed her reaction or chose to ignore it. "Adrian will be there too, watching from a distance. At the first sign of trouble, he will get on a plane and out of harm's way. Hopefully it won't come to that."

I had to admit, the plan had merit, and it would explain why Alice couldn't see our future. Adrian was still in it. It was hard for me to focus and analyze everything, though, because the emotions were getting out of hand. Edward had completely lost control of his barrier, and for once I wished he'd get it back. It was just too much. Alice was scared and conflicted, Adrian was utterly bereft, Carlisle was cautiously optimistic, and Esme was just all over the place. But Bella, Bella was…fine. I felt her strength, her bravery. I knew she was brave, she'd proven it time and again with James and Victoria. But this was on an entirely different scale. I don't think I'd ever loved her more.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and clung to her, my security blanket in the emotional typhoon. If it weren't for her, I probably would have bolted, run away to escape it. Although I refused to let it show, my insides were vibrating under the strain. Bella must have sensed my distress, because she started running her fingers up and down my forearms tenderly.

"Guys," Bella asked gently. "Could you please try and calm down a little. Your emotions are assaulting my fiancé." Everyone made a concerted effort to get themselves in check. I squeezed Bella gratefully.

Adrian took Alice by the hand and guided her upstairs. "Come on, Ally-Angel. This is supposed to be Jasper and Bella's night at home, and they're supposed to be celebrating their engagement, if you know what I mean. Let's get a hotel room for the night, okay?" Embarrassment and chagrin replaced some of the emotions in the room. This time it was Edward's turn to cringe. I could only imagine what thoughts he was being subjected to. Carlisle and Esme congratulated us and welcomed Bella to the family before leaving. They were going to stay at Edward's.

Edward, still in the far corner of the room, took a couple of deep breaths and finally regained his artificial calm before approaching us. He shook my hand, then bent down and gave Bella a long, heartfelt hug.

Edward pulled back from their hug and bent down so their foreheads were touching. His words were barely a whisper, but I could sense they were meant for both of us. "Congratulations, love. I have always only wanted for you to be happy, and now I can see that you truly are. I, too, am glad that we have been able to become close again as friends, and I hope that we can stay that way for eternity, since it looks as though you're going to be around that long." Bella chuckled at his lame attempt at a joke. He kissed her cheek and his façade broke for a moment. "I love you, Bella. Never doubt, Never forget." He looked up at me and apologized with his eyes, then bolted out the door.

Bella leaned into my embrace and took a couple more seconds to get a hold of herself, then turned to me with a mischievious smile, lust rolling off of her in waves. "Now, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?" She wiggled her eyebrows at me and jetted for the stairs before I could even reply. I let her beat me, but only by a step or two. I stayed right on her tail the whole way. She ran to the far side of the bed, giggling hysterically, then tried to crawl over it to climb off the other side and probably run back downstairs, but I wasn't having that. Before she could even process what happened, she was pinned beneath me on the bed. I growled a little in her ear, knowing how much that turned her on. It did not disappoint.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. Where are you running off to, my lovely fiancé?" Bella squirmed, wiggling her body against me in all the right places.

"Umm…" was her astute answer. She stuck out her bottom lip and pouted. I knew exactly what she was thinking. You can't win when you're a human playing against a vampire.

"Don't worry, darlin'. Before long you'll be giving me a run for my money." Bella smiled at me and if I couldn't sense her emotions, I would have believed that she was totally okay with the course of events tonight. I slid off her and laid on my side next to her, running my hand through her hair. "What's troubling you?"

"Silly stuff, really. Worrying about my dad, and how long it'll be before I can see him after the change. Worrying about school – I was really hoping to finish first. Now who knows when I'll be able to get my degree. And then…" Trepidation and guilt.

"And then…what, sweetheart?"

"And then there's Edward. Please don't be angry or take it the wrong way, but I'm kind of going to miss my evenings at 'Hotel Edward'. We've become really good friends because of my time there, I'll be sad to lose that. Plus, I could see that he was hurting tonight, and I felt bad I couldn't comfort him. No matter how much progress he's made, he never wanted to see me become one of you. He sees a human life as a better life, no matter what."

"Bella, as far as you becoming a vampire is concerned, he's just going to have to get used to the idea. There is no other way, and even if there was, it's something we had planned to do eventually. One lifetime with you just isn't enough for me. As for the rest, well, I'm sure we can work something out. You'll be a newborn. Newborns are a lot of work. A day off every now and then would probably do me good." Bella's eyes grew wide as saucers. Disbelief and joy and love.

Bella lifted herself up on her elbows to meet me eye to eye. "Are you serious? You'd be okay with that?"

"Of course, baby. You're my fiancé. Soon you're going to be my wife. For the rest of time, it's you and me. Your friendship with Edward, or Jacob or Alice or Adrian or anyone else for that matter, is not going to change that." I surprised even myself when I realized that I really meant it.

Bella attacked me then, lips and hands and legs all with a unified purpose of pulling me to her. "I don't deserve you, Jasper, but I love you so, so much."

"I love you, too," I whispered between fevered kisses. I had wanted to make slow, sweet love to Bella tonight, but she had other ideas. She clawed and tore at my clothes like a woman obsessed. I was more than happy to oblige. I loved feeling her emotions when she was like this. Her desire, her love, her lust were like a drug to me. I threw them right back at her as I lifted her up to remove her dress. It was much too pretty and sentimental to shred. Her underwear, however, were another story. Bella gasped when I grabbed her bra by the cups and pulled them apart, easily shredding the sliver of material joining them together. Bella's beautiful breasts broke free with a luscious jiggle. I took them in my hands and brought them together so I could lavish attention on them both at the same time.

Bella put her hands on either side of my face and brought me back to her, kissing me. I let our love swirl around us, feeding us both as I slid into her welcoming body. I wrapped my arms tightly around her and rolled us over so she was on top of me, but didn't loosen my hold when she went to sit up. Instead I rocked my hips, slowly thrusting in and out of her. Our bodies were as close as they could possibly be. Her breaths pushed against me, her heart pounded against my chest. In all the times that Bella and I had made love, it had never been quite like this. It had never felt more real, more true, more perfect, more free. Without a word, Bella clenched around me at the exact moment I exploded within her.

Bella pressed her forehead into the crook of my neck, heated and slightly damp from sweat, and almost immediately fell asleep. I held her there for a while, stroking her back with a smile on my face, until I felt Edward's presence approaching the house. I slowly slid her onto her side and kissed her forehead as I covered her up. I threw on a pair of pajama pants and headed downstairs. He was waiting for me on the porch, sitting on the top step.

"Edward?"

"Is she asleep?"

"Yes, she is."

"I just wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. It was inexcusable and rude."

I sighed deeply before sitting next to him. If I were human, I would have offered him a cigarette. "There's no need to apologize. I know how much you love her. I'm sorry this is hard on you." Edward hung his head and nodded. I put my arm around his shoulders and hugged him. "I told Bella that even after we're married and she's changed, she can still have her 'Hotel Edward' nights with you." Edward turned to look at me, his head still hanging down, his emotions matching those of Bella's when I'd had this conversation with her.

"You would allow that?" I rolled my eyes a little at that. He was going to need a few more 'Hotel Edward' nights to teach him a few things if he ever wanted to have a real relationship with someone else.

"Edward, whether or not she's my wife, I can't 'allow' anything with her. She makes her own decisions. But, yes, I told her I would be okay with it, because I knew she wouldn't even consider it otherwise. She felt guilty for even thinking about it. I trust you to be more of a gentleman than me." We both awkwardly chuckled a little at that.

"So are we okay?" he asked. I nodded my head.

"What do you think is going to happen with the Volturi?"

"I honestly don't know. I can't understand their motivation. Why are they so interested in Bella? And with Alice running blind, it makes me nervous. My gut tells me that Bella being changed won't be good enough for them."

"I agree. Whatever happens, we'll face it together. If they want to get to Bella, they'll need to get through all the rest of us first."

"Thank you, brother."

"Who said I was doing it for you?" he teased, and I knew we were going to be alright.

* * *

A/N: I was reminded that I didn't send the Cullendales anywhere last chapter. Shame on me! LOL Honestly, though, I don't know what cities I hadn't hit yet, so you need to remind me when you review. :)


	53. Alt Ending Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own this storyline and my original characters. Please don't copy them without permission.

The A Lesson in Love prologue will be posting in a few.

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_**Chapter 19**_

The next morning we left for Forks. Bella was a bundle of nerves, her foot bouncing the entire flight. I hadn't taken the time to hunt and I was really regretting it. Between Bella's adrenalin rushing her sweet blood through her system, the recycled air, and the plans for her change putting biting her at the forefront of my mind, I was having a hard time controlling myself around her for the first time in years.

I gently put my hand on Bella's knee to stop the bouncing.

"Bella? Would you like some help calming your nerves?" I asked, trying to use as little air as possible as I spoke so I didn't have to breathe. _Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes._

"No, I'm fine. I'll quit tapping my foot." She forced a smile and took a deep breath. It didn't work.

"Please…darlin'? It'll help me, too." Her eyes got wide in shock as realization and surprise set in.

"Oh! Really?" I nodded my head urgently and felt her wave of empathy. "Okay. I'm sorry." She took the hand that was on her knee in her own and we both breathed a sigh of relief as I calmed her down.

"No worries. I understand." Bella nodded her head against my shoulder as she snuggled in and drifted off to sleep. I closed my eyes and feigned sleep as well. All I could think about was Bella and this whole messed up situation. As excited as I was about changing her, I felt terrible that she wasn't going to be able to finish college as a human the way she wanted, and that she wasn't going to be able to see her father or Adrian or any other human for a long time.

We'd decided to tell her dad that I had received a grant to intern on an archeological dig in South Africa for a year through the school's history department, and that she decided to take a year off to accompany me. We were going to elope and have a real wedding when we got back. Hopefully he would accept that. She really didn't want to have to fake her own death, and I didn't blame her.

Carlisle and Esme purchased a farmhouse outside of Columbus that would provide the privacy and isolation necessary for her transformation and were getting it set up so that we could go there straight from the airport. He'd insisted on being present, 'just in case.' I wanted to remind him that I'd sired hundreds of humans and had far more experience than him, but I let it slide. Sometimes he and Esme take the parent ruse a little too seriously.

But now was not the time to worry about fake parents, when we had a real one to deal with. Bella's nerves spiked again as we approached the house. I was thankful she was letting me help control it, and that she let me roll the windows down despite the cold weather.

Charlie was waiting for us on the front stoop when we arrived. Even though he didn't show it, on the inside he was practically jumping for joy at Bella's unexpected visit. He loved her so much, unconditionally. I knew exactly how he felt.

"Come on in, guys. I ordered pizza and figured we could watch Adrian's game while we catch up." Pizza. Great. Bella chuckled, knowing what I was going to have to suffer through in the next few hours, and that was assuming Charlie didn't try and shoot me.

"Sounds great, Dad!" Bella headed straight for the kitchen, bringing out paper plates, napkins, and some drinks. She set a beer in front of her dad, a coke for herself, and some pale amber looking liquid in front of me.

"It's ginger ale. I shook all the bubbles out of it for you, figured it might help with your upset stomach from the flight." _God, I love this woman. Thank you, Bella._

"Don't like to fly, Jasper?" Charlie asked. I shook my head honestly.

"Well, I guess that means more pizza for us, huh Bells?"

"Yeah, but you should take it easy. I'll bet you're living on the stuff. I'll cook some stuff and put it in the freezer for you before I leave." Charlie started feeling a little anxious, which I didn't understand.

"You don't have to do that, Bella. I haven't actually been home much lately. I've been eating over at Sue's a lot." Bella's eyebrows went up and she started laughing.

"You sly dog!" she teased and he blushed. We all got a good chuckle at that. "Well, that makes my news a little easier." Charlie looked at me, looked at Bella's stomach, undoubtedly searching for a bump, then looked at his gun hanging in the holster by the front door before turning back to Bella, who just rolled her eyes at him.

"What news?"

"Jasper's been awarded an internship. He's going to Africa for a year on an archaeological dig."

"Oh, well, congrats, Jasper," he shook my hand, relieved. "I'm sure it'll be tough for you two to be apart, but…"

"I'm going with him, Charlie." Bella said quietly.

"WHAT?!" Contingency plans on how to avoid a bullet without giving myself away and keep them safe at the same time started ticking off in my mind.

"I said I'm going with him. I'm going to take a year off school."

"Bella, that's ridiculous! What about your scholarship?"

"Well, considering that Carlisle funds my scholarship, I'm doubting it'll be an issue."

"I don't like the idea of my daughter shacking up with her boyfriend in another country when she should be in school, Bells."

"With all due respect, Chief Swan, I would never ask her to do that. I want to marry Bella before we leave, with your blessing, hopefully." Charlie turned to look at Bella, who was nodding her head with a big smile on her face. She waved her left hand at Charlie, who took it up to his face to inspect her engagement ring.

"Well, that's a whole other story, then, isn't it?" Charlie said, now feeling torn. He turned to me and shook my hand. "Of course you have my blessing. But still, I wish you wouldn't drop out of school, Bella. What are you going to do while he's spending all day cleaning bones with a toothbrush?"

"Actually, Dad, I was thinking I could do some volunteer work at the clinics there. It would look really good on my med school application," Bella improvised beautifully. Charlie thought hard about it for a few long moments, then nodded his head.

"Alright, then. But I expect you to check in at regular intervals, understand?" Bella nodded.

"So when do I get to walk you down the aisle?" Bella got nervous.

"Ummm...actually, we were thinking about eloping, Dad. We have to leave next week, there's not a lot of time for a wedding. But I told Alice she could plan a wedding and reception after we get back." Charlie was disappointed, but accepting. He turned back to the game.

"Boy, Adrian's spiral is something else, isn't it?"

We watched Adrian win the game, then Bella excused herself to make a few of his favorite dishes and put them in the freezer.

"You make her happy," Charlie said quietly.

"It's easy to make her happy. She doesn't ask for much."

"I know she doesn't. But you don't take advantage of that, don't take her for granted. I see that, and I respect that about you." I was touched. I knew it was hard for him to admit.

"I love her. She makes me happy, too. I'm a very lucky man."

"And don't you forget it."

"Never.' Charlie seemed satisfied with that answer. It was the truth.

When we said goodbye, Bella broke down and cried and Charlie had tears threatening to spill over no matter how hard he tried to hold them in. I waited in the car to give them space for a little uncharacteristic display of affection. I was so grateful that we had time to give Bella this moment. I hoped she remembered it after the change.

We went to the Cullen home for the night. Bella seemed deep in her memories, looking around each room as she took my hand and led me up to my room. She stopped in front of the bed, and turned to me with a coy look on her face.

"This was where I made love to you for the first time." I nodded and closed the distance between us, resting my hands on the curve of her hips.

"It seems only fitting that this be the last place I make love to you as a human, don't you think?" Too affected by the emotions overwhelming us both, I answered her the only way I could. I kissed her. Soft. Slow. Building.

She took my shirt in her fists and walked backwards, leading us to the bed, falling back when her knees hit the side of the mattress, never breaking the kiss as I bent over her. I wrapped my fingers gently around her waist and scooted her to the middle of the bed. Her love and passion for me was wrapped around me just as surely as her arms were.

We shed each other's clothes silently, our lips only separating long enough to take one piece off at a time, until finally we were skin to skin. She was warming me up inside and out, our languid kisses sweet and erotic as she guided me into her. She was my sanctuary. Never was there a more pure expression of love than ours at that moment.

When our pleasure built up to the point where we each needed more, I moved my forehead to her shoulder, kissing her neck as I increased the speed of my thrusts. Bella wrapped her legs around my waist, pulling herself up to meet me with every stroke.

"Oooh…baby…" she moaned. She turned her head to the opposite side of mine, stretching her neck taut. "Make me yours, Jasper. Forever."

"As you wish, darlin'." I kissed her pulse point once more before sinking my teeth into her. I moaned when the first rush of her blood hit my tongue, my hips jerking harder, erratically into her as I alternately drank her nectar and forced my venom into her bloodstream.

"More," Bella demanded, her desire out of control in its intensity. "Harder.' I took another long draw from her neck as I ran my hand down her torso, flicking her nipple with my fingernail before sliding over her stomach and pressing down on her clit. Bella arched into me as she orgasmed harder than she ever had before. I licked her wound to close it and screamed her name as my own orgasm exploded from me. I gave her a second to ride out her climax just slightly before sliding out of her and set about biting her. First I bit the spot on her inner hip, where I always used to put the strawberry mark on her she loved so much. Bella orgasmed again. Her entire body was shaking, vibrating. She wasn't feeling the burn yet, just warmth spread throughout her, straight to her groin. I bit her again on her inner thigh, spiking the height of her pleasure once again. I knew I only had a few moments left before the venom made its ascent to her heart and the pain would begin. I slid back up her body.

"I hope that's not where you bit all those other ones you changed," she teased, gritting her teeth as her pleasure died down and was replaced with increasing discomfort, the warmth changing to overwhelming fire before my eyes.

"No, darlin'," I laughed. "They just got the standard wrist and ankle bites. You're the only one to get the seduction version."

"Good," she grunted, closing her eyes. "I love you, Jasper."

"I love you, too, baby. I'm going to control your pain as much as I can, okay?"

She shook her head slightly. "You'll hurt." Her voice was gravelly as she fought against the pain. Her eyes stayed closed and every muscle in her body was like a rubber band ready to snap.

"Not as much as you will if I don't. We'll do this together, Bella. We're partners, right? Share your pain with me. I'd rather feel the pain of the burn with you than experience the pain of watching you hurt and not be able to do anything about it." Bella nodded.

I laid down beside her and spooned her back to my chest, and began siphoning as much of her pain as I could. She breathed a jagged sigh. "I feel like one of those moms that swear they want natural childbirth then when the pain begins, they're screaming for drugs," she joked.

"Believe me, childbirth is kid's play compared to this."

"That's a really bad joke, Jasper."

"These are the jokes, kiddo. I'm a historian, not a comedian." Bella laughed, then her body went tense with the pain.

"Shhh…relax, baby. I'm right here for you. I'll be right here when you wake up. It'll be the first day of our forever."

The next three days were spent that way, with the exception of a brief but apologetic phone call to Carlisle to explain to him the situation and alter our plans accordingly. When the pain was intense, we would just hold each other and bear it together. When she was more lucid, I would talk to her, telling her how much I loved her. I kept reminding her of all our favorite memories, of her family and friends, of our plans for the future.

When her heart stopped beating, I couldn't help my involuntary moment of panic. It seemed like an eternity before she opened her beautiful ruby eyes and smiled at me. The moment she did, my love for her increased exponentially, a feat I didn't think was possible. It wasn't just my joy at her becoming a vampire, or the fact that she smiled at me. It was so much more than that. It was an instantaneous change and instinctively I knew. It was her power. Suddenly the Volturi's interest in her made so much more sense. I needed to call Carlisle. Immediately.

* * *

_**Manhunt - An Original Romantic Suspense Novel by Lillie Cullen  
http:// www . textnovel . com / stories_list_detail . php?story_id=1521  
Take out the spaces or click link on my profile  
**_

Michael Brennan and Nikki Wright shared a bond created by love, loss, and hardship. Michael's life was finally taking a turn for the better while Nikki's was descending into darkness, until one fateful night changed everything. Just how much is Michael willing to give up for love? How far is he willing to run?

_"Have you seen this man? His name is Michael Brennan and he has been identified by Federal authorities as a person of interest in the shooting death of Sebastian Cross and the disappearance of Nicole Wright. Anyone with information regarding the whereabouts of Michael Brennan should call the Federal Crimestoppers Alert line at 888-555-1234. Coming up next on News at 11..."_

This story has been on my mind for a long time. I even considered altering it and making it a Darkward fanfiction story at one point, but ultimately realized that it would be like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. These characters needed to stand on their own two feet. Eight chapters have been posted so far, and if I may be so humble, I believe it is my best work to date.

You need to create a login at textnovel to read it, it will lead you to where you need to go. The story's rating is determined by the number of votes (thumbs up button) and story alerts (cell phone button) the story receives, which means each reader can add two points to my rating! Going to my profile and clicking "Follow" will put me on author alert. The only downside to this site is the fact that it limits each chapter posting to 500 words, which means you'll be clicking the 'next' button - a lot. But from what I've been told...it's more than worth it. :) Can't wait to hear what you think of it!

Please help me get the word out about Manhunt. Tell your friends, put it on your blog and in your author's notes, Twitter it...you get the idea! Thank you so much for your support - I love you all!


	54. Alt Ending Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. You knew that. I do, however, own the Lessons storyline and all original characters. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization

_**MANHUNT IS #1!!!** It's not only the highest rated contest entry, it's the highest rated story **EVER** on textnovel!!! **THANK YOU!!! I HAVE THE BEST FANS IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!!** Haven't checked it out yet? http://www(dot)textnovel(dot)com/stories_list_?story_id=1521 Read, vote, enjoy! Contest ends Nov 1st and there's a few people hot on my trail, so every vote counts! Pimp me out bbs, I'll love you forever for it._

_While you're there, check out Hopeful Wager's fabulous original story, 12.21.12, as well as unTwilighted versions of Twice as Long as Yesterday and Everything in conTEXT. Her penname is Killian McRae, and she's on my favs list on my textnovel profile._

_Thanks to changedbyEdward for beta'ing this, 'cause my regular beta still refuses to read the alternate ending. I'm thinking there's two, maybe three chapters left._

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**_Chapter 20_**

"Bella?" I breathed a sigh of relief when she smiled at me.

"Jasper?" she sighed, then laughed. "That wasn't so bad!"

"Speak for yourself, darlin'! The last three days have been hell on me!" Realization immediately brought on a wave of regret from her. "No, baby, don't do that. I would take that burn a hundred times over if it meant you could be the only vampire ever to come through the change thinking 'that wasn't so bad.'"

Her crimson eyes went wide. "I'm a vampire! This isn't just a dream, is it? I'm really like you??" I nodded. She jumped up and took me by the hand, dragging me outside – literally. She let go of me to lift her hands up, jumping for joy when she saw herself sparkle in the sunlight. She looked up at me with an expression like Ralphie when he finally got his Red Rider bb gun, then tackled me to the ground, showering me with kisses. I opened my mouth to speak, but she took it as an invitation and invaded my mouth with her tongue – running it along my teeth like she never could before. She was giddy, and it was contagious. "I'm yours! Forever!" she exclaimed between kisses.

"Forever, sweetheart. You're stuck with me now, and good." Her radiant smile at that healed my very soul. I pulled her down into my arms and closed my eyes, holding her tight and just breathing in her new scent, even more tantalizing than before if such a thing were possible. I opened my eyes to find her doing much the same. She opened her eyes and smiled sweetly at me. "Bella? I know you said yes already, but you were human then. I need to hear you say yes again, as a vampire. Will you be my wife? My mate for all of eternity?"

Bella nodded frantically. "Yes, Jasper! A hundred times, yes!"

"Do you still feel the need to wait? I will if that is your wish, but know that I would gladly marry you tomorrow."

Bella put her hand on my cheek and kissed me. "I can't think of any possible reason to wait."

The scent of a deer not too deep in the woods drifted on the breeze. "Bella," I said, pushing her shoulders back a little so I could talk to her. "I don't know about you, but I'm famished." I honestly had not sensed any thirst from her, which made no sense to me, not that I was complaining when she was straddling me, but still.

Bella wrinkled her nose disgustedly. "What is that _smell_?"

"Breakfast," I replied, shifting her off of me and standing. I turned to her and offered her my hand to help her stand, but she shook her head at me stubbornly.

"I don't think so," she said. "That smells gross!"

I had to chuckle. It wasn't as if I could disagree with her. It wasn't a gourmet meal – more like fast food, I supposed. "It's not so bad once you get used to it. Come on, I'll show you." Bella looked at me suspiciously, but took my hand to stand. I let go and took off after the deer, with her by my side. I had to shush her once because she was making all kinds of indecipherable sounds as she took in her surroundings and abilities.

I quickly caught the deer and tackled it to the ground, pinning it down for her. Bella didn't move.

"Come, Bella. Drink. Do it quickly. You don't want him to suffer." Bella sprung into action, biting his neck and taking a long drink, but pulled back just as quickly, violently spitting it all back up. I broke the deer's neck to put it out of its misery before going to Bella. I pulled her hair back and held it for her while she vomited.

In all my years dealing with newborns, I had never seen anything like it. It went beyond dislike for the flavor, she physically couldn't hold it down.

"Jasper…please…" she groaned, "get me out of here…the smell…it's making me nauseous."

Confused, I nevertheless picked her up and carried her deeper into the woods. The further away we got, the better she felt. Eventually, I put her down so she could run with me and enjoy the sensations of vampire speed.

Suddenly a new scent hit us and I froze in panic. Human. There must be a hunter in the area. I turned to Bella, my muscles tensed, prepared to restrain her if necessary, but instead I found her fighting another wave of nausea. If it were possible for a vampire to be green around the gills, she would have been. I picked her up and sprinted home.

When we got back, I helped her clean up and get settled on the couch, then grabbed my cell phone to call Carlisle, only to find I'd missed several calls. Two from Carlisle. One from the house in Columbus, so either Alice or Adrian. Three from Edward. I was certain he'd heard by now that I'd bitten her. He was bound to be worried, but Carlisle would have to come first.

I was impressed, Carlisle managed to keep his scientific curiosity to a minimum as I explained the situation to him, both about the blood issue and my suspicions about her ability, to which he replied, "If that's the case, it might be best to keep her isolated until we can get to the bottom of it. Especially from Edward."

Shit. I hadn't even thought of that. We'd finally put the drama regarding his feelings for Bella in the past. The last thing I needed was Bella's powers amping up his love for her another notch.

"I don't know if that is going to be possible, though. This is about to get infinitely more complicated, Jasper. After you bit Bella, Alice's visions disappeared, most probably because Adrian was no longer separated from the rest of the family, but I decided not to take any chances and chose to be proactive. I called the Volturi."

Bella, hearing the entire conversation, panicked. I sat down and put my hand on her knee to soothe her, but instead was rewarded with a huge dose of lust. Newborn emotions. I almost forgot how they could change on a dime. I raised an eyebrow at her and she shrugged sheepishly. I turned my attention back to my conversation with Carlisle.

"And?"

"They are no longer sending emissaries to check on her, however, our presence is requested in Volterra." Requested? Yeah, right. "They want to see her."

"Well then, we need Edward with us. Alice, too."

"Normally, I would agree with you, but if your suspicions are correct, we don't know what might happen."

"We'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it," I replied.

"Maybe we could tell her not to look any men in the eyes," Carlisle hypothesized. Bella rolled her eyes and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Carlisle, we're talking about Bella here, not Medusa."

Carlisle laughed, too. "It was just a thought! I'll inform Edward and Alice and arrange for us to be on the next flight out. You and Medusa should arrange a chartered flight, both for Bella's comfort and for the humans' safety. We don't want hunger pains to suddenly set in at 20,000 feet."

"Agreed," I said, and Bella nodded. No sooner had I hung up from Carlisle when my phone rang again. Edward.

"She's fine," I said by way of greeting.

"I know," he said after a pause. "Alice told me." Another pause. "Her phone is dead, though, it needs charged, and I just…I wanted…Can I speak with her, Jasper?" I looked to Bella, who had her hand out for the phone, a reassuring smile on her face.

"Careful," I warned her. "Don't crush it." I gave her the phone and she took it gingerly. "I'm going to go plug yours in and then go for a quick hunt while you talk, okay?" Bella mouthed 'thank you,' a sentiment echoed by Edward in the background. I smiled at her and headed upstairs.

I heard him ask her if she was okay, and she assured him that she was better than fine. I jumped out the window and headed for the nearest meal I could find. She didn't need me eavesdropping on her conversation, and honestly, I had no desire to. Bella's heart belongs to me, no matter how many men's hearts belong to her.

We tried hunting once more before we left for the airport, with similar results. In fact, just the scent of the pilots on the chartered plane had Bella gagging every time she chanced a breath. As a result, the flight over was spent in comfortable silence. Bella curled herself into my side and pretended to sleep while I looked out the window.

I wanted to strategize, plan for contingencies, but for the first time since I'd met Alice, I was going into a situation completely blind, and it was more than a little disconcerting. We didn't even know at this point if the Volturi were friend or foe.

The rest of the family beat us there and were waiting at the airport. Every one of them, even Adrian, which was mighty brave of Alice, in my opinion, but that boy was stubborn and if there was even the slightest chance that Alice or Bella were in danger, he'd be there, even if his throwing arm muscles and quarterback speed were severely outmatched. I admired him for that.

Esme and Alice practically attacked Bella, pulling her into a group hug, then stepping back to admire her vampire-enhanced beauty. Rosalie was hanging back, happy for Bella but feeling hesitant. I focused my attention on the men in the room. There was a noticeable increase in Carlisle's love, although it still felt purely platonic and familial. Emmett was definitely feeling lusty towards her, but not overwhelmingly so. His primary emotion for her was still brotherly love, as protective of her as ever, as was Adrian.

Then there was Edward. He felt as though his limbic system was completely on the fritz. Love – unending, deep love. Pain. Regret. Awe. Envy. A little anger. Lust. Guilt. They fluttered from one to the other and back again so quickly it was a wonder his eyes were able to focus. I had to force myself to block it out as much as possible before it took over us both. Bella looked over to him with a sad smile and he pulled her into a hug. Comfort. Happiness. Love. Contentment. Peace. I might not have preferred the manner in which these calming emotions washed over me, but I could certainly appreciate the reprieve.

"Well?" Carlisle asked, drawing my attention away from them for the moment. "Can you sense anything different? Are your suspicions correct?" He knew the answer to that question before he even asked it. He could feel it for himself.

"Adrian and Emmett don't seem to be affected, although Emmett needs to quit lusting after my fiancée. Seriously, Emm, you call her little sister – that's just wrong." Carlisle chuckled and Emmett had the good sense to look sheepish. Bella looked over to him with her eyebrow raised, embarrassment rushing through her. Edward's emotions matched my own just then. I missed that beautiful blush.

"You, Edward, and myself, however, have definitely had a spike in our feelings for Bella." Carlisle had a shot of fear and concern as he observed Edward for a moment, who was staring at the back of Bella's head while she reunited with Adrian, trying unsuccessfully to hold back the nausea his scent was causing her.

"I was afraid of that," Carlisle said, "for more reason than one. The Volturi are going to be very interested in keeping her if they know what she can do."

Edward snapped out of his daze then. He obviously was too absorbed in his own thoughts to monitor ours during the conversation. "What who can do? Bella? What can she do?"

"Don't you feel it, Edward?" Carlisle asked gently. "I get the impression that you are a little more in love with Bella than you were yesterday." Bella turned to look at him, worried, and their eyes locked for a moment before he broke the connection.

"More than a little," Edward whispered reluctantly, looking for my reaction. _It's okay, Edward, you're fine. It's not your fault our girl's a succubus._

"She's much more powerful than a succubus, Jasper. The Denali sisters have got nothing on Bella."

"Oh Edward…" Bella's voice was strangled with emotion. "I'm sorry." He smiled at her, then took her hand and kissed it.

"No worries, love. It's nothing I can't handle, nothing I would wish to change." He turned to me then, all business. "Jasper, this is a very dangerous development."

"Agreed," Carlisle stated. "Bella, do you have any idea how you are doing this?"

Bella shook her head vehemently. "I would never consciously do that. I don't even sense anything. If it weren't for Jasper, I would have no idea that it was even happening."

Rosalie spoke up, snarky as ever, but correct nonetheless. "Do you all really think the airport is the proper place for a conversation about Bella's love potion?"

"No, I suppose not," Carlisle laughed. "Let's get checked in to the hotel. They are expecting us tomorrow, and there's nothing we can do to prevent them finding out. I'd like to have a family meeting tonight to discuss how to handle things if this goes bad. I couldn't care less about Caius, but Aro and Marcus were good friends to me once upon a time. I don't always agree with their choices, but unless it comes down to us or them, I would prefer to not see them harmed."

Everyone nodded in understanding and headed to the parking lot, where Carlisle had arranged three cars so Bella and I could ride alone, away from everyone else's emotions, for which I was thankful.

"So, tomorrow's going to be interesting, huh?" Bella finally said after a while. That was putting it lightly.

* * *

There were way too many cities left for the few chapters in this alternate ending, so I'm compiling a list and will post The Cullendales World Tour: Naked Cullen Boys Gone Wild tour schedule on my profile...as soon as I get off jury duty. :)


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